The Truth for Youth!
I dunno if guys ever saw this at my old blog, but today I’m gonna share one of my all-time favorite fundamentalist Christian cartoons- THE TRUTH FOR YOUTH!!!
Basically, “The Truth for Youth” comics are like Chick Tracts, but with edgier, anime-style drawings. Plus, they’re put out by the hilarious crackpot Tim Todd (I’d give you Tim’s biography, but there’s really nothing I can say about him that this picture won’t tell you):
And with that, let’s take a look at Tim’s comic strip about evolution, called “Somebody’s Making a Monkey Out of You!”
Yeah, there’s nothing worse than being bullied by Darwinist jocks. They used to call me “Amoeba Slime Ball Boy” in high school, probably because I always had a runny nose and never washed my hair. I’ll never forget their cruel taunts: “Uuuuuni-cellulaaaar! Uuuuuni-cellulaaaar!”
“Some evolutionists” meaning this asshole who ran for Congress in Tennessee on the Republican ticket last Summer. I wonder what Stephen Jay Gould, who brilliantly debunked Charles Murray’s neo-eugenicist The Bell Curve, would have said when he learned that he’d dedicated his whole life to a “racist concept?”
Oh, this is one of my all-time favorite Creationist arguments- “No one was around back then, so we can’t know what happened!” Similarly, if some guy murders his wife with no witnesses around, we should throw out any evidence on the scene of the crime (like fingerprints, hair samples and blood), since, you know, no one saw it happen and forensics have been amazingly inaccurate at times.
Of course they can’t! But that’s the fun of being a creationist- you’re never wrong because God’s on your side.
Yep, there ain’t nothin’ worse than science constantly advancing on our asses. See, back in the old days, it used to be “scientific” to put leaches on sick people. But then suddenly the leaches weren’t good enough- no, we had to have vaccines and antibiotics. And where has this so-called “progress” gotten us? Sure, we eliminated small pox and polio, but more people are having pre-marital sex, so on balance we’re probably worse off.
Assholes! Were Jesus here, He’d have them stoned to death!
Yeah, those bastards and their religious belief in factual, concrete evidence are ignoring the facts of a book filled with talking snakes and people who can survive being swallowed by whales.
So if two people see an apple fall from a tree, and one of them concludes it fell because of gravity and the other concludes it fell due to the mischief of a few Satanic elves, we can conclude that neither of them is right, because both are just relying on their own worldviews.
That’s pretty interesting, but it raises another question: just how much money did NASA pay the elves to fly Neil Armstrong to the moon?
To recap: Johnny (or whatever his name is) has decided, without doing any independent research, to accept every tenet of creationist dogma, including the idea that the Grand Canyon was formed by Noah’s flood, and convert to fundamentalist Christianity, all within the span of ten minutes. If he isn’t the Discovery Institute’s dream student, I don’t know who is.
I really think they should have had the Darwinist bullies in the background say, “Hey, look at those two creationist queers touching each other,” but we wouldn’t want people conflating homosexuality with the Lord’s Word, would we?
Katha Pollitt sez that people who choose to not “believe” in evolution should pledge to forego any advances we develop through knowledge of evolution, such as vaccines. Sounds like a plan.
Those kids strike me as a bit too articulate to come from our public school system… and teenage boys are probably more likely to discuss the masturbating they did the previous night than, say- evolution.
Damn those Atheists, Papists and Mainstremers who don’t follow the One True Way of God’s Word… :sigh:
Is that puppet supposed to be Herve Villachaize?
Once again, I think it’s high time that these creationists and evolutionists made way for the theory of the almighty extraterrestrial Atlantans (not the southern city) and their design to create the world and life as we know it.
I think the puppet is Franklin with his afro relaxed, and Mr. Todd just changed the name.
It does kind of look like Johnny has his hand down his pants while he’s praying.
Please tell me this guy’s just a liar. I mean, he does know that the people who say that white people evolved from black people are on his side of the great political spectrum, right?
“At our core it’s hard to be objective.”
Sounds like moral relativism to me, folks.
This tract (aside from being totally refuted by even a cursory glance at talkorigins.org) brings up another of my tiny pet peeves:
Attention creationists!
We did not evolve from apes. We ARE apes.
We did not evolve from monkeys. We and the monkeys share a common ancestor.
http://www.timecube.com
So, uh, Mistah Kurtz was right? About that jungle thing?
RE: http://www.timecube.com
> “I have demonstrated absolute proof
of “Cubic Creation”, through its
attributes of 4 simultaneous 24 hour
days within a single rotation of Earth.”
Ummm, okay.
because the Bible says… “the human mind is most deceitful of all things. It is incurable. No one can understand how deceitful it is.”
ok. So why are we believing the Bible then? It was written by humans and we just heard that humans have deceitful minds and are not to be trusted. If God wrote it, then I want to know who says God wrote it. If that person was not there as witness when God wrote the Bible, then how do we know God wrote it? Also, just claiming that someone was there as witness could also be a lie, given the human mind’s propensity to deceit and lies. Hence we have NO evidence that the Bible is a repository of Truth.
And it gets worse: Assuming one believes in God, still, why trust Him? Or any book that claims to be “God’s word”? In the Old Testament, He told the Jews they were his “Chosen People,” and we’ve all seen how that worked out.
There are few things worse than seeing a comic book engage in preachy exposition.
Except of course the incredible idiocy Tim demonstrates in these comics. Go to his site and read the rest–every Christofascist delusion you can think of is represented.
If god hates the same people you do
then you’ve made him in YOUR image
Oh my good Goddess, what a nutbag. I liked the “rock music” comic, in the sense that it totally freaked me out.
To steal a classic MST3K line, “Oh my lack of God!”
Okay, so what if one believes in both creation AND evolution? (IOW, you believe in the creation story but also believe that everything/everyone was given the ability to evolve.)
If you believe in both, then you need to sit down and have a talk with yourselves.
Something I want to repeat here
If god hates the same people you do, you’ve made him in YOUR image….
OK, Seb would appreciate this:
“No Truth For You!”
You know, for some, evolution is something that happens to other people.
I love how in these comics, the power of God lets someone be completely converted to Christianity by a total stranger in less time than the average Simpsons episode…
How in the name of unholy secularism is aetheism a religion?
I’d rather be related to apes. At least when they throw shit, they don’t try to exposit on the righteousness of poo-flinging.
I love it whenever stories like this have the protagonist spring the “But there’s Good News!” upon the unsaved – and the poor unsaved guy reacts as though he has had no exposure to Christianity their entire life.
Is that what people like Tim really believe? That people outside the American evangelical culture have been totally enclostered from Christianity?
i love how, in the “pornography” comic, the proseletyzing youngster makes a hilariously logic-free connection between porn and the serpent giving eve the apple.
BONGGG! it was the bitch’s fault then too for not wearing an ankle-length gunnysack dress like grandma used to wear! man, that didn’t take long.
if it was eve’s fault, why are the people in the comic boys? why don’t we see girls looking at porn on the internet? okay, okay, let’s try it another way – why don’t we see a comic about teenage runaways getting forced by unscrupulous men to make internet porn in exchange for drugs?
and why was it implied that part of the wayward boy’s problem was that there’s no mom around and dad’s a womanizer? oh, THAT’S the bitch’s fault too…
it is so confusing keeping up with patriarchal mind.
I’m sorry, but I just can’t believe that Rashad attends a public school. If he’s managed to keep his head buried that far into the dirt, his parents must be home-schooling him.
I am a creationist but I have to admit the mockery of that comic strip was really really funny, except the bit about jesus stoning people.
creationist=cubist
nothing escapes the TimeCube
except for me that is because im a guardian of destiny =).
In reference to the comic panel that states that recent lava flows were dated to millions of years ago, you may want to also mention that many of these claims are based on what some might consider fraud.
Creationist groups, such as RATE, use inappropriate procedures to date lava and then claim that radiometric dating doesn’t work. In reality, all they’ve proved is that if you do sloppy lab work, you get invalid results.
For details, see http://www.epicidiot.com/evo_cre/vr_radioisotopes_age_earth.htm#lava_dating
i am lisa and i need a man………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
I am doing a series on my blog about The Truth for Youth. It started when I received an AFA action alert in my email offering free copies for teens to pass out at public schools. I decided not to pose as a teen to get a free copy, so, I had to shell out $3.00 plus shipping and handling to receive my shiny new copy. I can tell that this book will inspire some great blog posts.
All the proof that fundamentalist Christianity is a cult can be found on this page 🙂
BTW, and since when do jocks pick on you for not knowing enough about science? If anything they’d pick on the kid who actually learns about evolution and call him a “geek” or something. You’d have to have spend your entire teen years locked in your room with a Bible and a playboy magazine hidden under your bed not to laugh out load at this.
I have never yet laughed out a load, but then I’m not that experienced.