Even Better than the Nephilim (Or: Onward, Zombie Soldiers)

It wasn’t easy, but WorldNetDaily has finally discovered a book that’s even stupider than The Nephilim and the Pyramid of the Apocalypse (in case you don’t remember, The Nephilim was a classic tome of archeological research whose conclusion was that Satan built the pyramids with the help of gigantic demon-human hybrids).

“What could be stupider than The Nephilim?” you ask. Well, you’re about to find out, like it or not. Hold onto your hats, partners, and get ready to read the astonishing tale of… MEGA SHIFT!!!!

The 1700-year nightmare is over.

A megashift of spiritual power into the hands of ordinary people is about to overwhelm the world and put it into vastly better shape. Prepare yourself to take part in a total makeover of Planet Earth!

Yeah, I know this sounds like a blurb for some crappy New Age book like The Celestine Prophecy, but just wait… it gets better.

You are about to discover a new world where…

-Over a billion non-Christians may become highly active Christians in the next dozen years.

Hmmm, a billion new Christians in the next 12 years… this doesn’t sound likely, but I guess it’s possible if we take Ann Coulter’s advice and forcibly convert every Muslim…

A whole new form of Christianity promises to bring a far greater impact than the Protestant Reformation.

Ooooo, does that mean sane Christians are going to stop following Jerry Falwell and William Donahue? Does it, does it, does it? (Oh God, make it so… thy will be done!!)

-Millions of ordinary people are doing miracles.

Uuuuh… you mean in a metaphorical sense, right? Surely, you don’t mean…

-God has brought hundreds of people back from the dead, mostly in the last 15 years. These are not near-death experiences, but real resurrections of actual corpses.

Ooooh sweet Jeebus…

“Megashift” not only documents a wide range of miracles, but also spotlights hundreds of thousands of house-church teams around the globe that are producing a new culture of responsible freedom.

In these teams, people are allowed to speak and interact. They often form deep friendships, dump their heaviest problems, turn into free and powerful spearheads of worldwide change, and get connected with God and man in ways that almost defy description. This is a “Megashift” away from spectator religion.

8% Growth Per Year

There is a hidden world that already has 707 million evangelical/charismatic Christians who are growing by an incredible 8% a year.

In the center of this shockwave are roughly 100 million in informal networks of committed circles who run their own show without buildings, paid pastors, or sermons. “Megashift” is a startling introduction to that surge of grass roots power and love, which is forming the culture you will soon live in.

Call me old-fashioned if you must, but I, for one, am not looking forward to being ruled by the Zombie Christian Army.


Comments: 22


Did you know you can easily sing the title of this post to the tune of that U2 song? Did you do that on purpose, Seb?

suburban refugee

Not only can you talk and have friends, but God will create your very own zombie butler!

Won’t you join our church?


“God has brought hundreds of people back from the dead, mostly in the last 15 years. These are not near-death experiences, but real resurrections of actual corpses…” thereby proving that there was nor fraud in the 2004 election since those people really did come back from the dead!


If you call within the next ten minutes, you can also get the Megashift Board Game for the low low price of just $19.99!


Oh no, the dead have risen and they’re voting Republican! – L. Simpson

I for one welcome our new zombie overlords.


There is a hidden world that already has 707 million evangelical/charismatic Christians who are growing by an incredible 8% a year

That’s amazing! By my calculations, in less than 40 years these people will be over 100 ft. tall!


LOL!! Great Mike!


That’s amazing! By my calculations, in less than 40 years these people will be over 100 ft. tall!

Hmmm, maybe there IS a tie-in to the Nephilim after all… giants roaming the Earth… people mysteriously rising from the dead… that doesn’t sound like the work of God, but could it beeeeee…. SATAN???


Holy shit! I owe a guy at work 5 bucks now.
I told him that he was full of it when he said that there was a zombie army taking over the government (I thought he was just stoned out of his mind).
WorldNetDaily is roXxor- Bastards.


I thought it was about how to have a Really good bowel movement MegaShit. Still waking up.


From this column by the author:
But in case you weren?t fond of algebra in high school, the basic point is that a growth rate of 8% a year, if continued precisely, would soon cause our 707 core to exceed the population of the whole world.If you weren?t fond of algebra in high school, that statement might not seem like utter bullshit.

paranoia is truth

They’re not really risen from the dead – they’re reptiloids in disguise! Don’t be fooled!


This is the same kind of math, isn’t it, that once confidently predicted that by 1990, the global population would consist of Elvis impersonators.


My god I want this book now, (how does the crazy homeless guy at the public library go about getting published anyway?)


I, for one, welcome our Zombie Christian Overlords.


The Nephilim was a classic tome of archeological research whose conclusion was that Satan built the pyramids with the help of gigantic demon-human hybrids).

No, no, no. According to the cinematic masterpiece Alien v. Predator, the Predators built the pyramids with the help of their primitive human slaves for use as a breeding facility/hunting ground for the Aliens.


Sounds like John Wimber has risen from the grave – it’s just a rehash of his “Power Evangelism” of the 1980s, except done by some totally obscure publishing outfit (“Empowerment Press” of TX, according to Amazon. Because I’m weird, I checked out their website and found that they specialise in “personal health journals”)


Ah, stop worrying. They’re Christians! They love their enemies, live and let live, do unto others as they would be done by, and live according to the teachings of Jesus Christ.

Wait a minute — this Bible is 2000 years old! Well, they’re still following it, right? Everything’s gonna be jake.

Liberal AND Proud

It’s true…George Bush got re-elected…that HAD to be a miracle.


Funny comments… loved the 8% growth. On a more serious note, I am an evangelical Christian (and yes, I happen to be Republican but those are two separate issues). This book has gained a foothold in our church. This guy Rutz is, pardon the pun, “Nutz”! His teachings are against what the Bible teaches, and he should be considered a heretic. He’s part of a movement called “Kingdom Now” which DOES teach that the church will supposedly take the earth by force (its called ‘Joel’s Army’), and that as the church moves forward, Christ will have to return because of how good the world has become.

Ken Schortgen Jr

““What could be stupider than The Nephilim?â€? you ask. Well, you’re about to find out, like it or not. Hold onto your hats, partners, and get ready to read the astonishing tale of… MEGA SHIFT!!!!”

Im impressed. It is amazing how Christians can put God in a box just like the Isrealites did with the Ark of the Covenant… or the Holy of Holies.

How little faith of Christians have today in the power of God, and how VAST the faith of Christians in the Mega churches that now have Starbucks kiosks in their foyers.

The thing is… God is not working with the believers much in America because Christians here in America have turned away from God, and turned towards man for their guidance. We seek to find politicians to help us keep the righteous things, while a few athiests can get prayer removed from schools, all references to God removed from not only government, but society as a whole.

Heck, even Walmart is under attack to have the bible removed from its shelves.

“Dear Sir,

We, the undersigned, respectfully request that Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. cease distribution of the book known as the Holy Bible. We make this request after careful consideration, having examined numerous passages in the Holy Bible that are repulsive, stridently offensive and/or illegal. The following five examples reveal the obscene nature of this book and help you to understand why we are making this request. …”

(Letter recently to Walmart)

No… it is like the book of Revalation where the 7 churches were given one last chance to repent, and all but the church of Philadelphia failed to turn away from the world and turn towards God. Those that are still righteous, will be the 5 virgins awaiting the ‘bridegroom’ because they remained righteous, while the rest of the so-called Christians let their lamps go out and will miss his coming.

God asked but a simple thing for Christians to make things whole again…

Pray to HIM for all things, and they shall be done… and His righteousness shown.

You who have criticized the things in this book… in places you probably have never been without verification is proof enough that you are living with so very little faith on what the Lord can and will do when He decides to do His Will.

Which leads me to the second part… if any of you have READ Mega-shift.

Where does it say that we need the Bible ANYWAY for salvation, or even to know Christ? Did Abraham have a written word to guide him to the Holy Spirit and to God? Did Moses… who was raised in Egypt and taught the ways of God in the wilderness BEFORE he was given the Law on the mountain? What about the early Christians? The bible itself was not created in book form until the council of nicea by the Pope Constantine… and even then, MANY books and mysteries were left out because the choice of man.

IE…. the Book of Enoch and the two Books of Adam and Eve… which were passed down from the beginning through Oral Tradition. You dont think so? Why is that over 40 ancient civilazations have an accounting of the Great Flood? Because when the peoples were dispersed at the Tower of Babel… they ALL KNEW the Oral Traditions and stories passed down from their Fathers.

Lets see… the two Books of Adam and Ever were passed down from Adam through to Noah, and finally put into print by an unknown Egyptian scribe hundreds of years BEFORE Christ… and yet it shows that Adam KNEW of Christs coming long before Christ actually came.

And yet again… what about the King James version? Did you know in history that King James was a knights templar, and there is documentation that things were left out on purpose? The same with the Catholic Bible before the Reformation. In it there are SEVERAL mysteries that have been forgotten today… including hymns that were known to cure the sick.

No… Jesus knew these things and thus this scripture proves the case more than a book.

“1Th 1:5 For our gospel came not unto you in word only, but also in power, and in the Holy Ghost, and in much assurance; as ye know what manner of men we were among you for your sake.”

The Gospel is in ALL men… but is only known to us through the Holy Spirit if we listen. The unforgiveable sin is to blaspheme the Holy Spirt, which in the Greek means to reject the Holy Spirit when it calls your heart to accept the messiah and His gift of sacrafice for the sin of Adam.

No… many here in the responses I have read are exactly what I see wrong in America, and WHY God pretty much no longer reigns in the hearts and paths of this country. If as many people who call themselves Christians would humbly bow down and as for forgiveness and REPENT (turn) from evil and seek Him, and PRAY that this nation would be healed…. it would be Healed.

It is funny… Art Bell, who is a secular individual who is open to everything, but believes nothing, can have millions of people on his late night radio show meditate or pray with one accord for it to rain in a small town in Texas that hadnt seen rain in over 3 years as a TEST… and have it rain there within 3 days, lasting for 1 week…

But Christians cant have the faith and perseverence to pray to God for our country, but instead start poltical organizations to try to make changes in a world where God doesnt reign… because Christians dont have faith that He reigns.

I dont know what else to say about that.

May God Bless everyone here, and may you find peace and Wisdom and draw closer to God in this time of T’shuva.



1 thing I know for sure, since the true Church of Christ was broken down into different factions by heretics that preferred to split away and start their own thing than stay and heal the wounds man inflicted upon the Holy Wife of Christ by man, this rogue pointless, mindless subgroups will always pop out of the mess that is “protestant� (put here all the denominations plus the so call non denominational groups including non Christians who use the name of Christ, the cross, or whatever somehow Jude–Christian -Islamic word just to make it sound good and ancient) Christianity. Where I am basing my statement, well reformation started with 1 big split, after that it was to expect that the 2 big junks of Christianity would continue to split, instead it was the protestant side which almost immediately divided again, and again, and again, and again… ad nauseam. Every year a small evangelical group splits, why? I don’t care anymore, but Christ said there was one truth and one church, “Protestants� can never reconcile this with what they are. This book is uber crap, as well as that nephalim piece of junk, and u can lie to yourselves all u want. The Earth is 7000 years old (right?). Men and dinosaurs together (right?). God is truth; we can’t reject evident truth based on what we believe God passed us down on the Bible. Jesus asked us to believe in that witch we can’t see, not to reject the world of reality. The line seams dim, but is there not the less. Cya

PD: By the way I am CATHOLIC CHRISTIAN (as in UNIVERSAL and that FOLLOWS Christ) just in case you didn’t notice or where curious, that non-denomination crap is the most utter idiotic excuse of a politically correct stupidity (was that over redundant? Ah I don’t care) I have ever heard.


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