Life Imitates Simpsons
You guys remember that Simpsons episode where the teachers went on strike and the school hired Jasper as a scab? And remember how funny it was because Jasper made a list of offenses that warranted “a paddlin’?” And remember how we all laughed because it seemed like such an arcane and backward punishment?
Well, laugh no more, ’cause one Ohio school district has hired an army of Jaspers:
County School District Reinstates Corporal Punishment, Sees Positive Results
By Jim Brown
April 25, 2005(AgapePress) – One Ohio community is reaping the benefits of overwhelmingly approving paddling as another form of punishment in schools.
Pike County Schools banned paddling back in 1993. However, after receiving strong backing from members of the community, corporal punishment is back in use. Pete Dunn, the principal of Western Elementary School in Latham, says since paddling was reinstated, misbehavior among students has declined substantially.
The principal notes that students are not paddled for misbehavior if their parents do not approve of corporal punishment. But he explains that “well over half” of the parents of the students at his school have agreed that they want that as a form of punishment, and have signed a waiver giving him permission to spank their children if they misbehave. That, Dunn says, has led to fewer problems in the classroom.
I just give up.
Maybe if the parents tried being parents now and then, they wouldn’t need other people to discipline their children.
Paddlin’ the school canoe, that’s a paddlin’.
Got my be-hind whupped a couple times in school in the 70s and 80s, many many years ago. But worse than that by far was the loss of privileges at home that would follow.
Dad only ever used his belt on me once, and I asked for that, when I told him to shut up.
Dad was an elementary school principal, and saw 1st-hand that the kids who most needed stern discipline were frequently the ones whose parents would march in and scream at him for touching little Johnny or Vicki. Educators have one of the hardest jobs in the world.
You were lucky. When we were young, we would get hit upside the head with a manure-filled sock 8 times. Then we’d go home and Dad would cover us in ants.
You’re surprised by this? Twenty-three of the 50 states allow corporal punishment of students (although some districts within those states ban it): http://www.stophitting.com/disatschool/facts.php
Some of those kids just need a good application of the Minnesota Spankological Protocol.
You were lucky. When we were young, we would get hit upside the head with a manure-filled sock 8 times. Then we’d go home and Dad would cover us in ants.
Luxury.
Back in my day, the punishment for acting up was three hours with the milk machine that doesn’t stop until it gets 50 gallons.
Most of us didn’t last half that long before we passed out.
Speaking of Corporal Punishment and the Simpsons, don’t forget that Corporal Punishment is part of the cast of Krusty’s show.
Is this going to degenerate into another rendition of the “Three Yorkshiremen” sketch, or what?
Yeah, I got paddled in elementary school. I also got paddled^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hparented at home. And I didn’t end up going on any shooting sprees.
It’s amazing what happens when people actually take responsibility for their spawn every once in a while.
The link should be:
http://headlines.agapepress.org/archive/4/252005g.asp
Fucking perverts.
“Back in my day, the punishment for acting up was three hours with the milk machine that doesn’t stop until it gets 50 gallons.”
Oh yeah? Well at my school I was drawn and quartered on 5 separate occasions!
Ah yes, the ever popular “board” of education. We remember it well. Unfortunately, and despite what the applicators told you about the applicees, it wasn’t, and isn’t the panacea it’s sold to be. As my old daddy used to say about his childhood, “A whuppin’ don’ make you better, it makes you sneakier.” A wise man that.
Ironicus
http://ironicusmaximus.blogspot.com
Oh yeah? Well at my school I was drawn and quartered on 5 separate occasions!
Like the boy named Sue, it made you tough, Yosef. And that’s why you’re the hottest (and limbless!) conservative writer on the Internets.
Ooop that last comment was mine.
?You were lucky. When we were young, we would get hit upside the head with a manure-filled sock 8 times. Then we’d go home and Dad would cover us in ants.
Luxury.
Back in my day, the punishment for acting up was three hours with the milk machine that doesn’t stop until it gets 50 gallons.
Most of us didn’t last half that long before we passed out.?
Pshaw! You guys were coddled. My Dad would slit our throats and send our corpses to Ouagadougou and we had to walk home shoeless in the snow!
Yeah, I got paddled in elementary school. I also got paddled^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hparented at home. And I didn’t end up going on any shooting sprees.
Yeah, I got spanked at home, though my parents were dead-set against delegating out corporal punishment to the school. And I didn’t end up going on any shooting sprees. Though I was renowned for my disruptive behavior at one time.
My wife was never spanked at home. And she didn’t end up going on any shooting sprees. And she was generally well-behaved in school.
Gee, it’s almost like there might not be any meaningful correlation between corporal punishment and moral behavior.
We’ll show him, especially for that “purple monkey dishwasher” remark.
The colors, children!
Maybe parents should try raising their swawn properly once in a while. Then they wouldn’t need other people (such as teachers)to use the paddle.
Hitting the little shits won’t do any good at this point. I think that we probabaly just need to back off the “you are all precious unique little snowflakes” philosophy that took over in the 80s and 90s when I was growing up.
I remember getting beaten up with some frequency by a girl in middle school who said she was in a gang. When I reported it, the administration not only accused me of racism but told me that they were reluctant to discipline a girl who’s father was in jail on assault charges. These kind of kids aren’t going to benefit much from a spank on the ass, but they get even less from being told daily how special they are and how the school functions as a place to boost their self-esteem.
A happy medium, please!
Precious unique little snowflakes. Bleah. Any kid who buys that deserves an F. (But an A for effort, ha ha ha!)
Back in Kentucky, where I went to school the teachers sure did love that paddle … but it was always the same kids getting licked over and over again. They also turned out to be the kids with the most screwed-up parents. (the very worst child’s parents had a home full of dead animals, i kid you not) So they’d get whupped at home AND at school.
I don’t know if corporal punishment helps or not – I like the argument above that there’s no correlation.
I have a better idea! Why don’t we just paddle the parents instead?
People who spank often have sexual problems; they don’t like the lack of control that interpersonal sexual encounters bring, and they are often have mediocre reproductive organs. It sounds like over half of the parents in Latham fit that description. What kind of bullies apply corporal punishment on elementary school children, who are usually too small to fight back? I would have liked to see my midwestern hick high school try to “apply” corporal punishment to me. That would have resulted in some severe negativity for all involved.
Hell, I dated that milk machine for 3 years in college! good times!
Sooner or later, there’s going to be a kid who enjoys a good ass-paddling.
Blogsy, IIRC the high amount of spankings in British boys’ schools in the Victorian era led to a huge underground world of spanking fetishes among men of the time.
Doh. I read “People who spank often have sexual problems” and got distracted, thinking it said “people who are spanked.”
Way to read, Anne….
At least they haven’t confiscated everything made of tin.