I’m, er, touched by your recognition of my massive proportions. (How you would have personal knowledge on that subject, or even hearsay knowledge, I don’t know.) But I’m not sure if I can compete with Ann Coulter in that department. If there’s a correlation between the size of one’s Adam’s apple and one’s male appendage, Ann must be hung like a horse.

Personally, I refer to my dong as “Mike S. Adams, PnS.”

Oh, I suspect Ms. Coulter is all potatoes and no meat, as they say.

Peter. Always a good name for a cock.

What would be a good nickname for a cock?

“Lance” is one possibility not mentioned below. On January 4 of this year, I blogged on a related subject:

Penile no more

With the swearing-in of Senator Barack Obama today, Illinois ceases its reign as the Penile State — our senators Dick (Durbin) and Peter (Fitzgerald), our governor Rod (Blagojevich). And who can forget the recurrent Dick Daley (mayor of Chicago), the heavenly Dick Devine (Cook County State’s Attorney), and the dysfunctional Dick Phelan (former president of the Cook County Board). The less said about Neal Hartigan (former lieutenant governor/attorney general/Illinois Appellate Court justice), the better. Collectively, Illinois’ politicians are a veritable Dick Army! Oh, wait — he’s from Texas.

“Barack,” incidentally, means “blessed by God” — but not necessarily in a penile way.

I would name Sadly No!’s cock:

“Offial ‘Member’ of the Schlong-osphere”

I call mine Pastor Swank, it doesn’t know any English either.

I’ve always thought “blinky” was good.

I refer to my penis as “Maddux”, after Chicago Cubs pitcher Greg Maddux.
I’m secure enough to know I am not the owner of a massive shlong- however, like Maddux, what it lacks in size and power, it makes up for in location, sneakiness and control (as well as occationally a sympathetic umpire).
It’s on a bit of a cold streak right now- I’m 3-1 but my IP and Ks are in the toilet and I’ve got way too many Base on Balls and Hit Batsmen(couldn’t resist).

I refer to my penis as “Maddux”, after Chicago Cubs pitcher Greg Maddux.

That’s interesting. I’m surprised no one’s taken the most obvious pitcher name- Randy Johnson.

Spanky Johnson.

Won’t Seb have to get 2 cards now? And come up with 2 names? What a hassle.

That’s interesting. I’m surprised no one’s taken the most obvious pitcher name- Randy Johnson.
It didn’t feel right- he being tall, powerful and intimidating while my penis is generally average (but skillz count, dammit!).

TROGDOR the sperminator!

It didn’t feel right- he being tall, powerful and intimidating while my penis is generally average (but skillz count, dammit!).

LOL.

OK, even though he’s a Yankee now, I have an affinity for Randy Johnson- we’re both tall (OK, I’m only 6 foot 2 inches, but that’s still above average) left-handers who even share the same birthday. I don’t have his pitching ability, but I’m not as ugly as he is, so I think it balances out.

Hell, I don’t need his millions of dollars- I write for the esteemed publication Sadly, No!

*weeps*

Hey Seb, don’t you have two penises now? Does that mean you have to get two certificates? Or can you get two names on the same?

I recommend “Double Play”

Phil

Mr. Smith

I’ve always been partial to Big Jim and the Twins.

How pathetic do you have to be to carry around a card certifying the size of your cock?

Wait — who wants to be an *honorary* member of the Colossal Cocks Club? Shouldn’t membership be based on merit? Honorary members don’t have to earn it, and, frankly, it just cheapens the whole thing.

They probably let in legacies too.

How pathetic do you have to be to carry around a card certifying the size of your cock?

You don’t, of course. You leave it lying on the junk mail pile and then wave your hand dismissively when someone notices: “Yeah, yeah, I wish they’d leave me alone already. Who the hell has time for addressing their convention this month?” Or you leave it lying outside near the trashcan about the time that sexy jogger runs by every morning. You get the idea.

um, cheney?

I call mine “The Pope”, because it makes the choirboys get down on their knees!