Shorter Dinesh D’Souza
Posted on October 10th, 2008 by HTML Mencken
Above: ‘By the way, my blog’s toast. Damn you, AOL!’
- That American policy in Iraq has seamlessly shifted in approach from the Bush doctrine to the Reagan doctrine is just more proof of its constant and total success, which of course means Barack Obama is a huge liar.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Oh yes. By any definition, except of course the original one, the surge has definitely been a huge success…
mikey
Lord, Dinesh put more words in a paper bag, placed it on my porch, lit it afire and ran. Damn Halloween.
Dinesh D’Souza’s op-ed strategy of portraying the Bush administration’s Iraq policy as a complete success is running into one big problem: Bush’s Iraq policy appears to be in deep shit. How embarrassing!
McClatchy article from a couple days ago: WASHINGTON — A nearly completed high-level U.S. intelligence analysis warns that unresolved ethnic and sectarian tensions in Iraq could unleash a new wave of violence, potentially reversing the major security and political gains achieved over the last year.
D’Souza gets paid the big bucks to live in d’nial. Wingnut welfare … the gift that keeps on giving.
Oops…
here’s the link:
http://www.mcclatchydc.com/world/story/53605.html
Are all conservatives total nitwits, or just the ones who put their wisdom down on paper?
D’Souza strikes me as someone smart enough to know what he is doing. I imagine that he, like many right wing pundits, just latched on to what they thought was a never ending gravy train. He’s a young man, I wonder what he’ll do if that wingnut welfare dries up?
Enlist for the coming crusade against Iran?
“Obama failed to mention, however, that if he had been president, Iraq would still be ruled by Saddam Hussein. The only destiny that Obama would have consigned Iraq to is oppression, torture, and mass graves.”
Totally unlike what’s going on there right now. See, before it was the government who was oppressing, torturing, and mass murdering. That was evil and socialistic. Now it’s enterprising private citizens who take the initiative to murder, torture and oppress. The free market at work! It’s a Randian wonderland! Take that looter-moochers!
“The only question is whether we will leave recklessly, precipituously, with the risk of escalating violence and chaos and perhaps even a return of the Saddamites. This seems to be the approach the Obama Democrats want. The other option is to leave cautiously, deliberately, in a way that leaves Iraq a self-governing society, the only pro-American Muslim democracy in the Middle East.”
He really thinks the insurgency is being run by “Saddamites”? Even the Bush administration doesn’t try to push that one anymore. And a truly self-governing, democratic Iraq will be pro-American? What the hell does he base that belief on?
There cannot be victory until the US military is no longer deployed in Iraq; the US military cannot leave Iraq until victory has been achieved.
Perhaps he can find a new career in dumpster-diving or in sleeping under overpasses. Those fields will soon be rapidly expanding thanks to the policies of the administration that he loyally supported.
To understand what is going on in Iraq, we must distinguish between two approaches: the Bush doctrine and the Reagan doctrine.
In what respect, Charlie?
D’Souza is a class A dick. He spoke at my college once, and he’s entirely of the “if it pisses off liberals, then it must be good” school. He had nothing worthwhile to say and responded to competent, fair questions from students with scorn and mockery in order to get cheers from his snide College Republican supporters. It was really vile.
I’m flaming!
Bush’s Iraq policy appears to be succeeding. How embarrassing!
Indeed, how embarrassing that after five years we’re still talking about this war at all. Imagine FDR had declared “Mission Accomplished” after the battle of Midway in 1942, and come 1947, we were still losing soldiers and Japan was still dragging its feet on forming a viable government. Oh, and the country was also just starting the Great Depression.
Yes, “embarrassing” would be the correct term, if only the assholes responsible were capable of feeling it.
In that picture, Dinesh appears to be awaiting his sentence.
I forget, what was the Reagan Doctrine again? Something to do with astrology, wasn’t it?
Which is totally unlike what happened under Bush, who consigned Iraq to oppression, torture and… mass graves… um, wait… never mind.
Well, astrology is only part of it. Reagan’s annual transits were plotted in order to determine what he was actually thinking from year to year as his dementia left him unable to express himself in a meaningful manner to those close to him.
Does he ever do anything except find new, exciting ways to pretend that Rove’s shit sandwiches are gourmet fare? I’ve never observed it. The only thing he even vaguely innovates in is the usual repulsive dancing-monkey business in which he screams at other brown people to please his jagoff handlers, and suffice to say even there he’s no V.S. Naipaul.
I think it’s swaggering around like an invincible bad-ass and responding to actual terror attacks by screaming like a little girl, running as fast as you can, and then invading a tiny island on the other side of the world to distract the home crowd. So sure, it blends into the Bush Doctrine seamlessly.
Of course, because D’Souza’s pony is openly committed to withdrawing at the same time and in the same fashion that Obama is, I think the difference between “reckless” and “cautious” is whether or not you’re black, which has certainly been a comforting refrain for the Republicans. Never mind the tin-eared buzzwording – although seeing someone get paid for talking about precipitously handing over Iraq to Saddam in 200-fucking-8 is shameful.
No, what I love is the “only pro-American Muslim democracy in the Middle East” line. You know, because it’s not as if we permanently alienated a country which had been a US ally since its establishment in the 1920s by essentially handing an independent principality to a group of violent ethnic separatists who more or less single-handedly keep them diplomatically estranged from Europe. I mean, sure, they let us station nukes there, but what’s that compared to the pure, beautiful friendship of the Iraqi National Congress? Never even goddamn mind dropping the ball on Afghanistan and actively rewarding tyranny and extremism in Pakistan. Withdrawing from Iraq will be so crucial to America’s future that anyone but a wealthy white man being in charge of it would certainly endanger the glorious future of our duly-earned friendship with the peace-loving Iraqi people.
You ever get the feeling Pravda would spit in these people’s faces?
♪Oh it’s the one holidaAay I look forward to bein’ over,
So the kids’ll stop shovin’ firecrackers up the ass-o my dooog Rover,
Every minute I thiiiink, God, it’s the end of October,
I just can’t wait for snowfall.♪
Does Dinesh remind you of anybody?
Why, yes. Yes he does.
Also, I thought the Reagan Doctrine was to treasonously sell a bunch of arms to our sworn enemies so as to launder the money and give it to death squads.
The fact is, Laura Ingraham apparently had sex with D’Souza while in college. [shudder]
Well, let’s be fair. It’s not as if he could just give them money without raising it through private embezzlement of state resources and weapons sales to said enemies. After all, Congress wackily decided that it was not in our best interest to fund or otherwise support jumped-up lynch mobs with a nasty habit of slaughtering not only civilians but external observers, including American citizens.
So yeah, Reagan sold advanced weapons to a relatively large and powerful sworn enemy of the United States without any strong contacts on the arms market, but how else could he materially support anti-American reactionaries in an economically and strategically marginal country? His hands were tied. If only Bush were such a brilliant strategic thinker; we’ve got all kinds of bombers and shit al Qaeda could use, and if we had only had an unaccountable amount of blood money in the executive branch’s coffers we could have bought Saddam WMDs.
We have so much to learn from Ronald Reagan.
The fact is, Dinesh apparently likes leopard print.
Reagan Doctrine again? Something to do with astrology, wasn’t it?
This gives me an excuse to repeat my joke about “Doc Trine” being an ideal name for a super-hero with astrological powers.
Have you guys read the latest hilarity over at Freeperville?
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2101942/posts
Oh, and the McCain campaign has cleared Sarah Palin in the Troopergate probe, preempting the official report. Jolly nice of them.
In unrelated news, I’ve cleared myself of being black, white and red all over.
The other option is to leave cautiously, deliberately, in a way that leaves Iraq a self-governing society, the only pro-American Muslim democracy in the Middle East.
It isn’t easy, bombing Muslims in a way that ensures that their surviving family and friends forms a pro-American voting bloc, hence the need for caution and deliberation in creating a self-governing democracy.
WTF?
Sheer poetry.
D’Snooze’s blog going toes up. What’s next?
Hugh Hewitt not being able to find a publisher for his new tour de farce, How Sarah Palin Won the Election … and Saved America ?
HI, I’M SATAN! ENJOY THE FILM!
And as someone said on a S,N! thread a year or so ago — after 3 pints of Emersons APA, I cannot be arsed googling to find out who — this is the expression of a man who has just eaten Piglet.
Stupidly, I clicked the link, should know better, I know. I got to paragraph 3, HTLM, how do you do it.
When you’ve lost Gary Ruppert, you’ve lost America.
I’ve lost Marie Jon, has anyone seen her?
I lost my heart to a starship trooper.
alec,
You ever get the feeling Pravda would spit in these people’s faces?
All the fucking time, my friend. All the fucking time. The only thing that comes close to this level of dipshittery, dumbfuckery and plain ol’ evil I have ever seen are op-eds from the 1950s Czechoslovakia, especially those published in the time of the great show trials condemning the enemies of the Republic. Translate it, update it, change some words (capitalists > liberals etc.) and I guaran-fucking-tee you National Review or at least Malkin will publish that shit in a heart beat.
It’s all LBJ’s fault. Had he not relaxed those immigration laws back in 1967, D’Souza would most likely be working for All India Radio.
Does Dinesh remind you of anybody?
Mr. Bean?
The fact is, Laura Ingraham apparently had sex with D’Souza while in college. [shudder]
Ugh, not the image I wanted. Supposedly the two got their kicks in college by humiliating their gay classmates. Pure republican thug thru and thru.
bulbul:
That.. that is not a bad idea at all.
A nearly completed high-level U.S. intelligence analysis warns that unresolved ethnic and sectarian tensions in Iraq could unleash a new wave of violence, potentially reversing the major security and political gains achieved over the last year.
And when is becomes too obvious to ignore, it’ll be Obama’s fault.
Or it, even.
But from the beginning the administration understood that, even in Iraq, over time the Bush doctrine must metamorphose into the Reagan doctrine.
Dinesh must really think we are stupid. In Iraq, the Administration thought it would go in, we would be greeted as liberators, turned the country into a libertarian paradise with 10% taxes and no government-owned industries (which they would then use to browbeat us into enacting at home), then move on to Iran in 6 months.
The Administration’s plan was never, never to fight a low-level war for 5 years against a bunch of insurgents who, surprise surprise!, didn’t want us invading their country for no reason.
That American policy in Iraq has seamlessly shifted in approach from the Bush doctrine to the Reagan doctrine is just more proof of its constant and total success, which of course means Barack Obama is a huge liar.
TRANSLATION:
“Well, we fucked up being overtly aggressive so let’s just be threatening and see if that helps, and oh by the way, Obama is a pussy.”
Crediting Bush with anything close to a “doctrine” is just laughable. There was no plan, no strategy, just a series of fuckups masquerading as policy.
M. Night Shyamalanadingdong looks awfully tired.
D’Souza: George Will, sans bowtie and the very occasional fit of sanity.
If you keep listening it says that walrus was Obama.
Goo-goo-ga-joob.
Sorry to come late to the party-I work very strange hours and I just woke up. One of the niggling questions I’ve had in the last several years is “Who the fuck is D’Nesh D’S’ouza? Where did he come from? What gives him the right to talk about anything” I suppose we could reframe it Sarah Palin style- “Does anyone know who D’Nesh D”S”Ouza really is?” No life experience, not even organizing his community into some Randian paradise. I would like to think that the days of pasty-faced right wing talkers will be over as we rebuild from their wreckage.
I thought the Reagan Doctrine was to treasonously sell a bunch of arms to our sworn enemies so as to launder the money and give it to death squads.
That’s funny – another version of the Reagan Doctrine seemed to involve convincing Iran to NOT release American hostages they were sick & tired of keeping until a certain “October Surprise” could be played on a certain famous peanut-farmer, Bush Sr. in cahoots with the same Manuel Noriega he’d later lock up as a narco-trafficker, continuing an “Arms For Hostages” deal going with terrorists who tended to kill the hostages, & trading plane-loads of shoulder-fired rockets for shitloads of cocaine & heroin, which wafted its way into an Arkansas AFB, then mysteriously re-appeared in America’s inner-city ghettos, with the usual hilarity ensuing. But golly gee, maybe it’s the same one … oh, that wacky Reagan!
“Reagan believed that people in foreign countries should fight for their own freedom.”
The people of Grenada will be VERY surprised to hear that. As will Nicaraguans (who had the awesome fun of having Managua’s harbour mined, c/o Rompin’ Ronnie & His Circus O’ Death), as will Libyans, as will Angolans, as will South Africans, as will – ahem! Moving right along.
“Of course America is going to get out of Iraq.”
The blastproof monolith the US calls its “Embassy” there – & the ongoing colonization of Iraq’s economy & infrastructure by both the US Government & multinationals – seem to suggest otherwise.
I can see a 1959 D’Souza saying “of COURSE we’re going to get out of Cuba” … i.e., just ignore that huge Army base at Guantanamo.
If there’s such a thing as a Bush Doctrine, it is this: “Commit your atrocity of choice, pretend what you’re doing isn’t a war-crime, get some overpaid shyster with no soul to parrot this sociopathic pigshit as if it were a valid legal precedent, ?????, PROFIT.”
Guess who was on top.
That backwards masking stuff is so silly. Occasionally you’ll run into a situation where a forwards lyric turns into something comprehensible (shorter here).
SAD SATAN!
TURN ME ON DEAD MAN!
I discovered a long time ago that if you say “Numba Nine” into a mic and reverse it, it does sound vaguely like “Turn me on dead man”, especially if you use a British accent, but it sounds even more like “Nerd me-on, Her-man” which is central to my point.
Anyone who thinks that backwards recordings reveal deep spiritual warrior type of truths should be forced to listen to Shpongle’s Divine Moments of Truth which starts out with some reversed Mandarin Chinese speech which is then played forward so you’re not missing anything (I just verified this). I’m sure someone deep in the blood of Jay-sus could turn “Lung hua ping ee-yu-ai” (pardon my bad attempt at transliteration) into Hail SATAN!
PENIS
The fact is, Laura Ingraham apparently had sex with D’Souza while in college.
Isn’t that….miscegenation?
You ever get the feeling Pravda would spit in these people’s faces?
(1) Rename Newsblogger as Depravda.
(2) …
(3) Hilarity.
D’Souza sees the light at the end of the tunnel.
the only surge I feel is the one from my stomach to my mouth. Code named: vomit.
D’Sousa supports Reagan and the christian fascist death squads who threw leftists out of the bellies of airplanes over the atlantic and who bashed the heads of children of leftists, cut open the bellies of pregnant leftists women, tore off their breasts. The man is possibly lower than nazis.
eric stone—
Ratfuck fail. Get back to Free Republic where you belong.