‘Why are they not listening to us any more? Don’t they understand that we are Saving them from the Caliphate? Don’t they understand that we were protecting them from Socialist regulation?’

I miss the reconquista. I can’t believe that hasn’t been brought up yet.

And the gheys. Why are Republicans ignoring the threat of Gay Black Mexican Muslin Tax-Raising Abortionist French Radicals who will conquer America and are out-breeding honkeys?

Don’t worry Brad. I’m sure there’s some dude Obama shook hands with at some luncheon fifteen years ago who now works for Absolut Vodka, thus proving “teh One” has a secret plan to undo the treaty of Guadalupe-Hidalgo.

Bat boy never got over Jenna Bush, I see.

Weekley World News is where I go to get my lastest info on the candidates. It’s a very reliable source of information. And it makes a helluva lot more sense than K-Lo.

These shoes weren’t made for walking...

The Red Dawn stuff is reassuring in the sense that it shows the crazies will go back to the basement rec rooms where they belong. Four or eight years of bumper pool, laser tag, Intellivision and those controls nobody likes, the neighbor’s older brother’s Hustler, some John Norman novels, and lots and lots of Cheetos and Mountain Dew will have them recharged for the culture wars to come.

So Obama is a wide-eyed radical and a political hack. Well, I suppose that’s no more absurd than him being a Muslim and a fanatical commie atheist.

Well good Goddamn, Barry Goldwater would be wild-eyed radical to those shitwhistles at the corner.

Is Sarah Palin really Bat Boy in disguise since both have just got passports?

Gooddammit! That’s my car!!!!!!

How can anyone who actually follows this stuff, who reads Freddoso, Kurtz, and scores of other reliable sources of information, conclude that Obama is not some wild-eyed radical?

Because even a blind squirrel stumbles across a nut every so often.

How can anyone who actually follows this stuff, who reads Freddoso, Kurtz, and scores of other reliable sources of information, conclude that Obama is not some wild-eyed radical?

Because SHUT UP, that’s why.

How can anyone who actually follows this stuff, who reads Freddoso, Kurtz, and scores of other reliable sources of information, conclude that Obama is not some wild-eyed radical?

Speaking just for myself, it’s because my health insurance no longer covers my LSD treatments.

Frankly, I don’t even get the joke in the Goldberg shorter. Goldberg is making one of his usual convoluted statements that doesn’t seem to mean a lot beyond “Screw liberals, I like Red Dawn”. Is that the joke?

We need a video of Bat Boy yelling “Go Wolverines!”

Yep. The Neo-Cons and War Pigeons have been SO effective at keep the Reds in line. You see, sinking us into debt to China and letting CEOs do whatever the fuck they want was part of a cunning plan. Now that we’re broke we can’t pay them back!

Plus, when Putin tells us to get fucked and the Russians go visit Venezuela it makes the Baby Jesus cry.

Ha ha! Ameirca Wins!!1

Cheer up, Cornerites. Ed Anger has endorsed McCain. That kind of support stays under the radar but will generate hundreds of thousands of votes on Election Day.

Also, just wait until Jerome Corsi gets back from East Africa. He’s got the goods on Obama’s ties to Kenyan extremists. Damning data. I know it’s true because I just heard it from a caller on local right-wing talk radio.

Any day now, I expect The Corner’s offices to rip free from their moorings and head off into orbit, fueled solely by the impotent rage and circular logic emanating from within.

I want THAT one.

THAT ONE

Is Weekly World News related to the Weekly Standard? They both contain the word weekly, so by wingnut logic they are the same. Aren’t they?

I DON’T LIIIIIIKE IT!

I can understand why some people don’t think Red Dawn holds up well. I disagree. But if you don’t think it holds up well, that’s no reason to stand it up artificially so it can be your ideological strawman.

Why not?

I can understand why some people don’t think Red Dawn holds up well. I disagree.

Red Dawn didn’t even hold up well when it was made.

Yo yo yo ya feels me when I be all up in yo greeeeeeyull fightin the commiez up in Coloreezy for sheez ya

Why not?

Ideological strawmen are bad, silly. It’s like saying vegetarians are Nazis.

I’ve never seen the movie, but if I get the gist of it correctly, how delusional do you have to be to think shit-scared neocons, who see a Mooslim menace behind every tree, would stand up to anybody?

Please. They’d be the first on their knees, Chapstick at the ready.

See, this is weird to me. To me, Red Dawn is an OK war movie, violent but not awesomely violent… not actually that different from all the other war movies that everyone watches and considers good. In other words, to me Goldberg is more or less correct to say it’s not beyond the pale or whatever. Its certainly ideologically pointed, but frankly movies can do that.

My reaction to Red Dawn is pretty much the same as that of Plotz or whatever. I don’t see why conservatives don’t realize that it applies in more ways than as a patriotic exercise. Countries that are occupied by foreign powers often have insurgencies. This is not an “ideological straw man”.

Ideological strawmen are bad, silly. It’s like saying vegetarians are Nazis.

Which is central to his point. Never has an argument been made with such care and detail.

I’ve never seen the movie

Jesus Christ. It’s awesome in the worst possible way.

I’m a little slow about such things. I only saw Plan 9 From Outer Space for the first time last Saturday when it was on Turner Classic Movies.

(no, really, TCM. It was so paradoxical I had to watch)

Ed Anger has endorsed McCain.

Hadn’t read Ed Anger since college a coupla decades ago. There are comments over there. Written by people who think there’s a, y’know, real Ed Anger. Some of them are calling him an idiot. If you listen carefully, you can hear the sound of neighborhood kids throwing irony up against the side of the garage, where it splatters and dribbles down into the grass.

I don’t see why conservatives don’t realize that it applies in more ways than as a patriotic exercise.

There’s a pretty good case to be made that it was not intended to apply in more ways than Jonah thinks.

And I would watch TCM if I could afford more than the basics.

Written by people who think there’s a, y’know, real Ed Anger.

Now I’m pig-bitin’ mad!

There’s a pretty good case to be made that it was not intended to apply in more ways than Jonah thinks.

OK maybe so. I saw it when I was like ten or something after all… probably I’m forgetting how totally ideological it was or something.

“Plan 9” is not that bad a movie. Yes, it’s bad, but it’s funny (even if inadvertently), the plot makes sense, and the story moves along at a good pace. It’s not like some movies I’ve seen that put you to sleep midway through.

It just doesn’t deserve its reputation as the worst movie ever made. “Most Entertainingly Awful Move,” maybe.

It’s kinda cool that TCM would play it.

BTW, I could see both McCain and Palin playing the aliens in “Plan 9″…

>Cheer up, Cornerites. Ed Anger has endorsed McCain.

Shh, McCain is Ed Anger.
Where do you think he goes weekends? He locks hisself away to pound out another column.

I only saw Plan 9 From Outer Space for the first time last Saturday when it was on Turner Classic Movies.

“You stupid human and your stupid human mind! Stupid! Stupid!”

Holy crap! That’s what Jonah Goldberg’s entire career has been based upon!

It just doesn’t deserve its reputation as the worst movie ever made. “Most Entertainingly Awful Move,” maybe.

Are we talking about unintentionally entertaining? Because “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” gives it a run if we’re saying Ed Wood knew just how awful it was, and played it for laughs.

[…] Meanwhile, the leading lights of the conservative movement are debating whether Obama is a Maoist and calling him a radical. […]

probably I’m forgetting how totally ideological it was or something.

It was made by a wingnut who was ahead of the curve.

How can anyone who actually follows this stuff, who reads Freddoso, Kurtz, and scores of other reliable sources of information, conclude that Obama is not some wild-eyed radical?

I think I’ve found your problem, here.
.

Anyone who asks me about Red Dawn, I tell ’em, “The only major black character in the film gets gunned down early, and a bunch of heroic highschoolers revenge themselves on an invading army for God, Country and that poor dead black teacher. THAT kind of movie”. Usually works in killing their interest. Or I use the alternate, “It’s many wingnuts favorite movie”, which works as well.

No, I don’t think Wood meant “Plan 9” to be funny. It’s just that it isn’t as unwatchable as popular belief says it is.

“Killer Tomatoes” was intentionally bad, but not as entertaining as the unintentially bad “Plan 9.”

“Plan 9” had Tor Johnson, after all.

Robot Monster, on the other hand, is LOOOOONNNG.

On this day of atonement, it’s still funny that goyishe Jonah has a friend named Dave Plotz, because that is a gift that just keeps on giving.

Red Dawn was a joke when it came out! But then again, so was NASCAR, country music, and pro ‘wrestling’ (which has NOTHING to do with wrestling).

But now in 2008, our civilization has de-volved so far that the South has won the civil war. All things southern are no longer the laughingstock they rightfully should be.

NASCAR, country ‘music’ and pro ‘wrestling’ are serious business, so why shouldn’t Red Dawn be taken seriously.

Look, if Red Dawn had been set in Alaska, I’d actually think about watching it, but it’s so obviously a far-right masturbatory fantasy, there’s no point at all in subjecting oneself to it’s wooden acting and ridiculously implausible story.

Jonah, Red Dawn NEVER stood on it’s own at all, ever. It was always a shitty movie with bad acting and a stupid plot. It can’t ‘stand up well’ if it was never good to begin with.

“Plan 9? is not that bad a movie.

Seeing the chase scene that had two shots spliced together – one shot at night and one shot in daylight – that’s when I sat up and realized I was watching something special.

Jonah has a friend named Dave Plotz…

I think Dave Plotz is an imaginary friend, concocted just so Jonah can (try to) make a point here and there. You know, a Plotz device.

there’s no point at all in subjecting oneself to it’s wooden acting and ridiculously implausible story.

Same thread as Plan 9. There’s a point, it’s just not the one its author intended.

Is nobody among us going to say the obvious – Wolverines?

Cheetohs: The Snacks of Fate.

I loved seeing Harry Dean Stanton in the concentration camp.

All things southern are no longer the laughingstock they rightfully should be.

For me, country music, notwithstanding the the last decade and a half of aimless melody, bad songwriting and rock-lite production techniques, that which is called new country, represents the best in southern culture.

Along with jazz, blues, R&B, Faulkner, Tennessee Williams, etc., etc.

Pig-bitin’ mad, indeed.

Please. They’d be the first on their knees, Chapstick at the ready.

Heck, they couldn’t handle BatBoy, much less an army.

Plan 9.

I am dull.

What I meant to say is I think George Jones and Merle Haggard are teh awesome.

Seeing the chase scene that had two shots spliced together – one shot at night and one shot in daylight – that’s when I sat up and realized I was watching something special.

Plan 9’s screw-ups are inspired, indeed, and some are so subversive that you’ve got to watch it a few times. For example- during a scene in a bedroom, the pictures on the wall change. Just randomly. For no reason.

The fact is, Obama is a socialest and will force America to become Muslim. You liberals embrace this, while, you are stupid.

How can anyone who actually follows this stuff, who reads Freddoso, Kurtz, and scores of other reliable sources of information, conclude that Obama is not some wild-eyed radical?

We read both kinds of far-right wing bloggers: country and western.

Oh, and screw you guys, Red Dawn is a great movie. Wait, I’m thinking of Bred Dawn.

I’d just like to point out that Batboy couldn’t have outrun the police in a standard Cooper; maybe in a Cooper S, but not the standard. This is what leads me to believe that maybe there wasn’t a police chase and that Batboy is doing just fine.

Here’s the difference: if Red Dawn comes up on one of the cable channels, I’ll put it on in the background, just to give Dear Partner and I a chance to make sarcastic comments.

I own Plan 9.

I found one accurate sentence in Doughload’s piece:

“Amazing is one word.”

Wait, I’m thinking of Bred Dawn.

Maybe Red Dong?

To up-date “Red Dawn,” which featured the take-over of the Mountain West by evil Nicaraguans who somehow eliminated all the internal forces of the USofA, and had to be confronted by citizen militias, would have to be re-made as “Red Crescent” or some shit to fit the current shit-brained idiocies, unless they’re figgering that the Islamofascistas and the Mexicans are gonna gang up on us.

The Pantload, of course, creams his ample and already cum-soaked jeans at the thought of such faux-heroics…which he then takes home to mommie, to demonstrate his potency…

Jonah is only against making the film an ideological prop for those who disagree with the manner in which he uses it as an ideological prop.

And to those who love good bad movies, I recommend “They Came from Beyond Space”. It’s terrific, in all senses of the word.

The fact is, Obama is a socialest

Well Bill Clinton was socialer than most, so why not go for the socialest?

How about Harry Dean Stanton in prison city? Thing that gets me is, here’s a movie three years older than Red Dawn and fairly reliant on the special effects of the early 80’s that stands the test of time way better.

Incidentally, while we’re talking about Bill Ayers, the whole thing is so ludicrous that it’s been debunked by JiSM3 addict extraordinaire Michael Scherer.

“Killer Tomatoes” was intentionally bad, but not as entertaining as the unintentially bad “Plan 9.”

That we can agree on, for sure. To me, AOKT was a film in the genre of Kentucky Fried Movie: meant to be parody (come on, credits for fifteen minutes?) that failed pretty badly at parody and ended up self-referential.

But it was intended to be funny, and wasn’t, which was the funniest bit of the whole movie.

On this day of atonement, it’s still funny that goyishe Jonah has a friend named Dave Plotz

It’s potzrebie-ful!

Ed Anger is a blast from the past. He’s been angry since I was in grade school. I am surprised his column doesn’t appear at Clownhall or Newsmax. Perhaps it’s too esoteric?

goyishe Jonah has a friend named Dave Plotz

What next? Let me introduce my other friends: Johnny Homie, Larry Wogge, and Sue Bob Scarletspine.

Wow, who woulda thunk that Bat Boy, 80s movies and the 2008 Presidential election could be brought together into one incoherent thread?
via Bat Boy HQ

Agents say the pint-size creature has tried to see Meghan (McCain Blogette) at least three times, most recently when he showed up beneath her hotel window with guitar in hand and screeched what may have been Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes”.

I’m surprised Jonah didn’t point out the most important reason that Red Dawn isn’t about Iraq: It’s about America, duh. Totally different country.

Recent Weekly World News exclusive:

At a shocking press conference this morning, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama announced that he has a half-man half-bat half-brother: Obatma.

“Obatma shares my DNA and will be uniquely qualified to understand some of the difficult issues facing mutants in this country and around the world.”

In other strange coincedence news – this scene from AotKT probably rung a bell with the wingnuttosphere, Jonah in particular.

Seeing the chase scene that had two shots spliced together – one shot at night and one shot in daylight – that’s when I sat up and realized I was watching something special.

The wobbling grave stone didn’t give it away?

Heck, Criswell’s opening speech was the giveaway!

Heck, Criswell’s opening speech was the giveaway!

We must pay attention to the future, because that is where we will all live.

Hahaha…

I don’t need to make the case here, as it has been made in many other places. Moreover…

…moreover, I can’t be bothered rouse myself from my Cheeto dust and semen encrusted sheets to look up references and do research and all that ghey stuff.

An entire Criswell album. It’s worth it.

An entire Criswell album.

It’s been a while and this is AWESOME and I haven’t even gotten to the leprosy yet.

It’s a tough call, but I might love Bride of the Monster even more than Plan 9.

You still have Tor Johnson, and even more Bela. Plus an octopus with no motor, the police chief’s trained parakeet, and THE most pointless filing room scene evah, just to get Ed Wood’s current girlfriend into the movie.

And you have the speech where Bela says, “Home? I have no home!” which gets quoted around the house a lot.

There’s no shortage of candidates for wackiest statement.

Here’s my candidate, from a tired, cranky old man:

McCain was chosen for us by the left during open primaries

Runner up: McCain won’t fight, so we’ll have to drag him over the finish line.

AVENGE ME!

Bat Boy, say it ain’t so! Hae I lost your love to that overdressed hussy?

I’m sorry that was the Scottish version of “have.”

It’s kinda cool that TCM would play it.

TCM’s got a whole midnight movie thing going now (actually, they started it back in ’06 with the Rob Zombie-hosted TCM Underground). Fridays around midnight they show all sorts of amazing stuff: Reefer Madness! Spider Baby! Sisters! Coffy!

Good stuff, Meynard.

You liberals embrace this, while, you are stupid.

I see you’ve been taking grammar lessons from Kaye, “Grogan”.

In other strange coincedence news – this scene from AotKT probably rung a bell with the wingnuttosphere, Jonah in particular.

Crap. And I thought the whole “black man portratying white dead guy” started with Bubba Ho-Tep!

“Portraying”, even.

How can anyone who actually follows this stuff, who reads Freddoso, Kurtz, and scores of other reliable sources of information, conclude that Obama is not some wild-eyed radical?

Not at all hard to explain. A lot of people let the reliable sources of information override Freddoso and Kurtz.

If anyone needs to take that NRO cruise – it’s that Levin character. Levin, Andy McCarthy and Vic Hanson need to spend some serious quiet time alone on an exotic beach to hammer out their anger/fear issues.

You know, just because the stuff that I’m following is berzerkoid nonsense, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t some stuff that’s berzerokoid nonsense that I’m not following.

Bride Of The Monster: Must see TV. Check.

I enjoyed ‘Plan 9’ immensely, so this I gotta see.

Good stuff, Meynard.

I just realized I say that all the time, but have forgotten the source.

Very satisfying to see it in live use.

Good stuff, Meynard.

Dobie Gillis, I believe. A little (but not much) before my time.

In order for a movie to “hold up well”, doesn’t it have to have been sort of relevant to begin with? Sort of?

LittlePig said,

I’ve never seen the movie.

Check out World O’Crap for a great synopsis!

You missed the TCM showings of (part of) the oeuvre of Ray Dennis Steckler? THAT was something to see. Rat Pfink a Boo Boo, indeed.

I just realized I say that all the time, but have forgotten the source.

“What happened to your cereal?”
“Uh, a bear took it.”
“Lucky bear. That was Malt-o-Meal. Smooth and creamy wheat; toasted malt; iron fortified. Good stuff, Maynard.”
“Can I have some?”
“Sure. But why don’t you show me that bear first?”
“Are you sure you want to see it?”
“MM hmm.”
“Okay…”
GROWWWWL!
AAAH! Get it off! Help me! Call 9-11…

Dobie Gillis, I believe. A little (but not much) before my time.

I remember “Good stuff, Maynard” as a Malt-o-Meal commercial in the 1980s. Might have come from Dobie before that.

Oops, ignatov really really beat me to that.

Mutant steals Mini Cooper car for joy ride!
The words ‘Mini Cooper’ and ‘joy’ do not belong together in the same sentence.

“The words ‘Mini Cooper’ and ‘joy’ do not belong together in the same sentence.”

I beg to differ, sir. My MINI Cooper S drives like a go-kart, particularly at the limit. Truly a joy, if that’s what you’re into.

Not to say that I’d want to take a long trip in the back seat, though.

I follow the principle of “If you can’t say anything relevant, say something that will wind up random people in the readership”.

Oh, I dunno – THIS one seems mighty damn funny too:

And by the way, McCain has been running on “the middle class” and now finds himself in a bidding war with Obama.

McCain has yet to say the words “the middle class” in the debates, & he conveniently left it out of his epic-fail RNC yawnfest, too. If he’s dropping it as a buzz-phrase in his interviews I’ve missed it. If he’s “been running on” this, he needs to get off the treadmill & onto the track.

“What am I bid for this fine middle class? Why, just look at those appliances, those clothes, those sensible shoes! Go ahead, check the teeth, inspect the scalp for lice, look them over for parasite-scars – I don’t mind. I stand behind my product. Do I hear 5 years & $250 billion? Anyone?”

And you have the speech where Bela says, “Home? I have no home!” which gets quoted around the house a lot.

Not to mention the flubbed line that somehow got left in the film, Bela referring to Tor: “Don’t mind Lobo. He’s as harmless as a kitchen.”

BTW, I believe the invasion in Red Dawn came by way of Cuba, not Nicaragua.

McCain has been running on “the middle class”

Prepositions are tricky. Running OVER the middle class.

Who the hell are Freddoso and Kurtz? Any relation to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern? If so, they’re dead.

In a cave many miles to the south
Lives a boy born with fangs in his mouth
Sleeping until the fading light
Flying through bloody dreams
When he awakes, the summer night
Is filled with screams

Etc. etc. <3 Bat Boy!

I’ve never understood the whole “setting up the strawman to knock it down” thing.
In my experience, straw is highly flammable.
Why knock it down when you can make s’mores?

I saw James Carville on TV last night. He looks like Bat Boy with his ears bobbed. Anyone ever seen them together?

Origuy: “I saw James Carville on TV last night. He looks like Bat Boy with his ears bobbed.”

I enjoyed (fascist tool) Dennis Miller’s description of Carville: “A satanic chihuahua under a strobe light.”

Neither Plan 9 or Red Dawn are the worst films.
It’s really The Terror of Tiny Town! An all midget(little people) film noir western! With ponys! Attack of Killer Tomatos is childs play in comparison. Ed Wood’s pieces were serious(but strange) in comparison. In the horror genre the best of the worst is Attack of the Saucer Men…they attack earth with, get ready…alcohol!
Then, too, anything with Olivia Newton John rates pretty high, or low, depending on your grading scale.
But I haveen’t seen ‘W’ yet…sure to be a gagger. Please issue barf bags at the door!

“I saw James Carville on TV last night. He looks like Bat Boy with his ears bobbed. Anyone ever seen them together?”

Yes. They used to be married.

Well, I guess the neo-cons are becoming more and more ignorant every day, as they see McCain and her female pitbull chances to win swiftly slipping.

[…] Americans wonder why so many of us don’t see that Barack Obama is a wild-eyed radical. Well, I don’t see it because I’m in the tank for Obama. This means little nano-thingies […]