But it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

Barack Obama must have cheated because past performance proves he does not do well in front of crowds.

And yet, even with HDTV, ALT.haus managed to miss the tiny Prophet Muhammad clearly perched on Obama’s right shoulder?

You know, just because the thing I saw wasn’t there doesn’t mean there wasn’t something there that I didn’t see.

Comedy gold

“Anything to drink? Some wine perhaps?”
“I like Merlot.”
“I love Merlot.”
“I’m crazy about Merlot.”
“I live for Merlot.”
“We’re out of Merlot.”

Heee, I love watching wingnuts try to talk themselves into the idea that Obama is a bad speaker/debater. Yeah, he’s totally blowing it, no worries.

*glubglubglub*
Waz shat?
*glubglubglub*
Hey he’shz got a thing in hishz thing!
*glubglubglub*
I’m ganna file a lawshuit biiichez.
Right afer a lil more prescious.
My schweet sschweet prezious.
*glubglubglub*

Tom65: Is that a real quote!? I refuse to go and look, see. I have sanity to preserve.

Ken – yup

Tom65: Is that a real quote!?

I would never write anything like that.

If she weren’t so fucked up on Franzia she’d have realized she was watching Dennis Haysbert on The Unit.

Verbatim From Althouse:
“You know, just because the thing I saw wasn’t there doesn’t mean there wasn’t something there that I didn’t see. “

oops, tom beat me too it.

Shut up.

The question about sacrifice translates loosely into: “Senator Obama, would you care to write John McCain’s next attack ad for him? No? Senator McCain, same question.”

Sounds like something I would have said back in college while wearing a big head full of mushrooms.

Well, there’s the known unknowns, and there’s the unknown unknowns… the earpieces are to the North, West, South and a little East… you go to the debate with the codpiece you have, not the one you want…

I would not be surprised to learn some day that all or most politicians have for years had their advisors helping them from deep inside their ear canals.

Whoa, “would not be surprised”? She’s not fooling around! That standard of proof falls just short of “willing to bet.”

God bless her vintage.

I would not be surprised to learn some day that all or most politicians have for years had their advisors helping them from deep inside their ear canals.

But do the advisors live there, or merely emerge into the ear canals from their tiny hide-outs in various glands and organs?

Hey, winguts? Know how it feels, seeing your guy slipping in the polls, your whole idea of America sliding into the dumpster, a guy that you don’t even like that much but that the alternative is so much worse you convince yourself he’s okay, put up with his faults, and reluctantly back him only to see him lose and a tide of what seems like mass insanity swirl around your countrymen? “et tu??” you say incredulously as your barber, your shop clerk, your kids’ teacher get behind who is clearly the wrong guy? Seeing signs and stickers that fill you with irritation and reveal the driver of that car or owner of that house to probably be a total douchebag? Watching the election results come in, seeing state after state flip to the wrong color, knowing you’re in for at least four years of staring incredulously at the news, wondering how anyone could be so blind. Questioning your very faith in the people you share the country with.

Yeah, that’s how it feels.

Whaddaya wanna bet that, in 04, she was one of the loudest naysayers about that patch on Bush’s back during his debate with Kerry.

In six months she’ll be seeing aliens in the corn.

Althouse has never been the sharpest tool in the box, but she’s beginning to seem like the Mad Hatter.

`Take some more tea,’ the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly.
`I’ve had nothing yet,’ Alice replied in an offended tone, `so I can’t take more.’
`You mean you can’t take less,’ said the Hatter: `it’s very easy to take more than nothing.’
`Nobody asked your opinion,’ said Alice.
`Who’s making personal remarks now?’ the Hatter asked triumphantly.

You know, just because the thing I saw wasn’t there doesn’t mean there wasn’t something there that I didn’t see.

‘Cause there’s still a lot of drinks that I ain’t drunk
And a lot of pretty thoughts that I ain’t thunk

AA: You can’t prove my hallucination wasn’t real.

Stick a fork in her; she’s done.

With a level of certainty like that I’m surprised she doesn’t have a position in the Bush Cabinet.

McPOW/Outhouse ’08!

Gone to vinegar more like it.

I think you guys snuck in and replaced normal (heh) Ann Althouse with a a couple of parodies named Shorter Ann Althouse and Verbatim Ann Althouse. WHERE IS THE REAL ANN ALTHOUSE?!?

I’m sure no one would have been able to see Obama’s earpiece during the debate. I’m sure that McCain, upon getting close to Obama, would have saw the earpiece and been all like, eh, whatever…

You know, just because the thing I saw wasn’t there doesn’t mean there wasn’t something there that I didn’t see.

Her brain cells have curdled.

You know, just because the thing I saw wasn’t there doesn’t mean there wasn’t something there that I didn’t see.

Yup. Pink elephants. On parade.

[…] 7.) So this is how the inevitable meltdown of the right happens- to howls of laughter. […]

Here’s a theory: AA is a Vorta who was exiled by the Founders, and has dyed her hair and combed it to cover her alien ears, and drinks to forget.

Possibly even better than Tom65’s quote is the bit where she quotes Glenn Reynolds (!) as agreeing with “my just a reflection analysis”. That’ll be the “just a reflection analysis” which is the precise opposite of your initial analysis, Ann.

Also: “I inspected it close up on screen, and I have it saved. ” What sort of person spends time staring into the ears of people on TV? On second thoughts, the answer is obvious: someone like Ann Althouse.

You know, setting aside for the moment the fact that the picture shows absolutely nothing there, why would anyone think that Barack Obama needs an earpiece to tell him to say “John McCain was wrong on Iraq” and “middle class tax cuts”? He’s been campaigning for 19 months. He could do this debate in his sleep. He could do this debate as drunk as Althouse. He could do this debate dead.

“As I was going up the stairs
I met a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today.
I wish, I wish he’d go away.”

Hey you *hic* kidsh! Shtay off my *hic* blog!

I’ve heard that Ann is routinely found passed out, sitting on the toilet, pants around her ankles, half glass of merlot in one hand and vicocin in the other.

It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

Here’s a theory: AA is a Vorta who was exiled by the Founders

Nah. Wrong generation: She’s a Horta.

*winkwink*

why would anyone think that Barack Obama needs an earpiece to tell him to say “John McCain was wrong on Iraq” and “middle class tax cuts”?

Because he wanted to listen to Digable Planet while McCain droned on endlessly?

I would not be surprised to learn some day that all or most politicians have for years had their advisors helping them from deep inside their ear canals.

Not so far-fetched when you realize that most Republican politicians have for years had their advisors helping them from deep inside their own colons.

You know, just because the thing I saw wasn’t there doesn’t mean there wasn’t something there that I didn’t see.

Ann was obviously playing the debate drinking game where she had to take a big slug every time McCain said “my friends.”

You know, just because the thing I saw wasn’t there doesn’t mean there wasn’t something there that I didn’t see.

And she’s right! There WAS something there that she didn’t see.

Drunk, ugly and stupid is no way to go through life ann. It’s time for an intervention.

The Unknown

As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don’t know
We don’t know.

—Feb. 12, 2002, Department of Defense news briefing

I am aware of all earpiece traditions.

I like the idea of Obama staying cool during the debate by listening to some chill alternative hip-hop, as actor212 suggests.
I’m trying to imagine what McCain would have playing to tune Obama out. John Phillips Sousa? Glenn Miller? Bob Seeger? Beach Boys? Maybe he was actually getting Obama’s “Tribe Called Quest” channel, and that was what was pissing him off.

If I was one of her law students, I’d ask for a refund.

Did we learn nothing from ‘Innerspace,’ people!?

Douchebag lawyers like Ann Bughouse are the reason I dropped out of law school, probably the best decision I ever made.

You know, just because the thing I saw wasn’t there doesn’t mean there wasn’t something there that I didn’t see.

There’s a dildo joke in here somewhere.

You know, just because the thing I saw wasn’t there doesn’t mean there wasn’t something there that I didn’t see.

Sounds like Althouse’s earpiece was picking up some Donald Rumsfeld.

We go to debate with the earpieces we have, not the earpieces Ann Althouse will imagine may be implanted deep in our ear-canal beyond the reach of her probing HDTV.

Once they start making X-RayTVs available to the public… THEN we will get to the bottom of this.

“As I was going up the stairs
I met a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today.
I think he’s from the CIA”

Let’s see how long my link to AA in her comments lasts….

What was it on Bush’s back during the Kerry debate in 2004? I heard from some people it was some medication vest, others that it was a mic. I’m guessing the latter.

I was gonna post Rummy’s ruminations on the known and unknown….he and Ann would get along famously with their rambling non-sequiters….but Mad Dog beat me to it…oh hell here it is again….

“As we know, there are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know there are known unknowns. ?
That is to say, we know there are some things we do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”

—Donald Rumsfeld, Feb. 12, 2002, Department of Defense news briefing

I would not be surprised to learn some day that all or most politicians have for years had their advisors helping them from deep inside their ear canals.

When I was 6, I used to pretend there was a tiny, collective-mind race of people who lived on dust motes inside my teevee. My parents forbade me to watch the “Dr. Shrinker” segments on the Krofft Supershow thereafter.

I’m not sure that telling Ann she’s not allowed to watch “Electra Woman and Dyna Girl” will help for this, though.

You do realize that the whole known-unknown thing is straight 2-bit boolean logic, right? Ever hear of Pascal?

I’m trying to imagine what McCain would have playing to tune Obama out. John Phillips Sousa? Glenn Miller? Bob Seeger? Beach Boys?

Please. Those are GOOD musicians! McCain admits to having all of ABBA’s catalog on his iPod…which is really just an old Vietnamese transistor radio painted white.

Ever hear of Pascal?

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant, I hear.

I’m trying to imagine what McCain would have playing to tune Obama out. John Phillips Sousa? Glenn Miller? Bob Seeger? Beach Boys?

His random 10 list was all lithophone.

McCain is hipper than you all allow. Remember, he likes Daddy Yankee’s “Gasolina.”

Ann challenged her blog’s readers to prove her statement (“just because the thing I saw wasn’t there) wrong. I tried. She will likely remove my comment due to profanity, but I can’t fucking help myself. For the record, I wrote:

“Ann – I will take a crack at showing why your statement is so fucking stupid: because the thing wasn’t there means you DID NOT SEE IT. And the corollary you associate with this stupid fucking statement, namely that something may in fact exist without you observing it proves nothing. Sweet Jesus, you have a job? As a law professor? I pity your students.”

I didn’t see McCain blowing a goat, but just because I didn’t see it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Do we have any proof that McCain didn’t have a butt plug up his anus the whole debate?

That would explain the uncomfortable little steps.

Of course the corollary is, just because we saw something doesn’t mean it was there.

We may have thought we saw JiSM3 during the debate, but actually he was spending 5.5 years in a Hanoi cell.

Barry X on the other hand was traveling around the world saving little lambs from marauding weasels.

At least tell me she doesn’t teach Evidence. My respect for law profs is lowered by knowing she has tenure (same for state judges and Gonzales). Too lazy to check, but assume that she teaches legal writing.

No, no. McCain’s obvious discomfort was coming from his li’l colonic adviser, prodding him from within. Too bad the messages were so muffled. ( Why do you think he was breathing so hard? Where do you think that look of, er, consternation came from?)

I drink therefore I am.

Annie tries the “baffle them with MORE bullshit” defense:

The statement that some of you are having trouble with — “You know, just because the thing I saw wasn’t there doesn’t mean there wasn’t something there that I didn’t see” — is completely logical and grammatical. Instead of just pointing and saying it’s ridiculous, try explaining why it’s wrong. You can’t! Just because a sentence is long, without commas, and contains word repetitions doesn’t mean it’s not sound. It’s a bit of a puzzle, and it’s meant to intrigue, so take the time to think, and then abase yourself to me and apologize… abjectly!

Is it any wonder this person hasn’t seen the inside of a court house in two decades?

I think I think, therefore I think I am. – A.B.

“…is completely logical and grammatical.”

She forgot to mention nonsensical, but of course just because she didn’t say it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist.

“logical and grammatical” my stripey ass. It’s called argumentum ad ignorantiam and it’s only “logical” insofar as it’s a “logical fallacy.”

How did she ever snag the title “popular blogger?”

The good hostess:
Ann, will you have a little vodka with your wine, and a little radiator fluid with your vodka, and a splash of glue with your radiator fluid? I wouldn’t want the buffer between you and reality to fail at any time.

How did she ever snag the title “popular blogger?”

Kneepads, chapstick, and a convention were involved.

You know, Althouse is basically just a troll.

You do realize that the whole known-unknown thing is straight 2-bit boolean logic, right? Ever hear of Pascal?

It’s called a Truth Table.

Is it significant that Ronald Dumfuck omitted one cell of the known-unknown truth table – the unknown known? That is, the things we know, but don’t realise we know. Would the August 6 PDB have been one of those?

The statement that some of you are having trouble with — “You know, just because the thing I saw wasn’t there doesn’t mean there wasn’t something there that I didn’t see” — is completely logical and grammatical.

Oh, please, pack it in, lady. You’ve gone from clutching at straws to splitting cunt-hairs.

If it wasn’t “there” you never really DID “see” it, did you? You IMAGINED it in the fetid fever-swamp of your cognac-pickled noggin. Conversely, of course there were things there that you didn’t see – air, cosmic rays, quantum reactions, microbes, dust-mites, et cetera, ad nausaeum – but sorry to say, these clauses have NOTHING to do with each other, beyond being trapped together in the same fucked-up sentence.

Needs more Detox.

another completely logical grammatical sentence:

“Just because Ann Althouse does not claim that Karl Rove is a member of a neo-nazi plot against america doesn’t mean that John McCain and George W. Bush aren’t working together to create a vast network of internment camps in which to hold all christians until they can be tattooed with the mark of the beast.”

and another:
“Just because I can’t see Alaska from my house doesn’t mean that I don’t live in Russia, or that my third cousin twice removed isn’t carrying a plate of nachos into his living room as we speak.”

I’m concerned about the kerning in this post.

Ann has a reply

The statement that some of you are having trouble with — “You know, just because the thing I saw wasn’t there doesn’t mean there wasn’t something there that I didn’t see” — is completely logical and grammatical. Instead of just pointing and saying it’s ridiculous, try explaining why it’s wrong. You can’t! Just because a sentence is long, without commas, and contains word repetitions doesn’t mean it’s not sound. It’s a bit of a puzzle, and it’s meant to intrigue, so take the time to think, and then abase yourself to me and apologize… abjectly!

What this post needs is for Chip Ahoy to make an animation of Obama’s ear as a vortex.

Ann got attention! Ann got attention! She still exists!

Althouse: projecting her own incompetence onto her ex-colleagues.

This earpiece speculation is just nuts. I still don’t know what was going on with Bush’s suit jacket when his back was up against the wall against Kerry.

But if anyone needed an earpiece this year, in a crappy debate that would have made it a cinch to deploy, it was Sarah Palin. And instead she had a bunch of doodled notes to crib from. So I think it’s safe to say earpieces are off the table for now.

Oops. Sorry. Not looking upthread laziness by me.

someone might have already noticed this but since I don’t have time to read every comment here’s Ann’s explanation:

Blogger Ann Althouse said…

Sean, the text to be analyzed is “[blah blah didn’t see it wasn’t there].” I need you to figure out what that means, including all the words, and you simply have missed… well almost everything. Really, try to parse through it and get the meaning. The meaning is there, you are just so convinced it’s stupid that you’re not able to see it.

Well, let me help.

1.”the thing I saw wasn’t there” = I admit that I believed I was seeing something in one frame that, having looked at other frames, I now am fairly sure was not there. It was a weird combination of reflection and unusual ear structure.

Unusual ear structure? Obama’s ears look freakishly normal to me. I suppose if he has something that isn’t there in his ear then we all do, eh?

2. “doesn’t mean there wasn’t something there that I didn’t see” = there could still be a listening device inside the ear canal (as some have said is possible) and no one would see that.

3. The fact that what I thought I saw was nothing does not exclude the possibility that there was something else that was not visible.

Is it really so hard?

followed by

Blogger Ann Althouse said…

I’m not making any assertion about how likely it is that there was a listening device in the ear canal, just stating the plainly obvious fact that photograph has nothing to say one way or the other about that.

Why blow a gasket?

Drunk, ugly and stupid is no way to go through life ann.

Shame on you. Althouse isn’t ugly.

Yuck, I read the comments (many insulting) and now I feel sorry for her. It’s possible to be critical and even mean without being a massive jerk.

At least that’s what I tell myself.

Here, let me try…

John McCain seemed unusually calm and I swear I saw Karl Rove sucking him off before he walked on stage.

On careful review of the footage its clear that I didn’t see Karl Rove blowing McCain, but just because I didn’t see it, that doesn’t mean that Karl Rove wasn’t sucking McCain’s dick before the debate.

Yeah, there is a certain charm to this logic.

Not really logical, other than the boolean sense noted above, but the main problem is that it is trivially true, as in ‘there might be invisible monkeys flying out my ass’. It’s true as far as it goes, which is pretty much nowhere.

The earpiece theory is totally unnecessary.

Everyone knows terrorist sleepers communicate with their handlers by blinking.

I didn’t see the debate. Was Obama blinking more than usual?

Google has a new feature to help one avoid drunk typing *hic*:

http://tinyurl.com/4sbuxs

“Ever woken up after a morning on the tiles and been overcome with regret and/or embarrassment about a misguided email sent the previous night?

Well, seemingly one Google developer has done just that as he’s just created a feature for Gmail called Mail Goggles to help prevent it from happening again.

It allows the user to specify times and days when they fear you might be a bit tipsy (say, after 11pm on Fridays and Saturdays) – and if they try to send an email after that, it’ll force them to take a sobriety test.”

…he’s just created a feature for Gmail called Mail Goggles to help prevent it from happening again.

Cool idea! At least for people who have some foresight about when they’re going to be acting stupid.

I’d extend it to let you schedule things like “Friday, 7pm, big fight with girlfriend” and make you take a “are you sure you want to say that?” test during the next day or so.

You know, just because Ann has never made a coherent and intelligent statement on her blog doesn’t mean that she doesn’t regularly make very coherent and highly intelligent statements in some other forum of which we’re all unaware.

Get back kids, while I quote from my favorite movie: You have got to be fucking kidding me!

…just because Ann has never made a coherent and intelligent statement on her blog doesn’t mean that she doesn’t regularly make very coherent and highly intelligent statements in some other forum of which we’re all unaware.

Probably in her classes.

…

BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Someone please tell her, when you’re in a hole, stop digging.

Blogger Ann Althouse said…

I’m not making any assertion about how likely it is that there was a listening device in the ear canal, just stating the plainly obvious fact that photograph has nothing to say one way or the other about that.

Why blow a gasket?

Because Mickey Kaus has all the goats already??

Did she write this post before or after she stumbled and put her head through the dry wall and spilled all her Yellowtail into her “Soup for One” bowl?

Ever hear of Pascal?
Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?

Morons!

…hey, hey, hey, now!… watch what you say about Yellowtail [sip]… what’s a “Soup for One”??

Auto mechanic: I think you’ve blown a seal.
Patron: No, that’s just mayonnaise.

I’m torn. One the one hand, this looks like an interesting case of Akrasia. And interesting examples of Akrasia are fairly rare. Akrasia looks valid on paper, most philosophers assume it exists, but real life examples are elusive. Unless you are willing to grant special powers of mind to all wingnuts–and for better or worse, I’m not–then her statement is technically false, right? Lovely:

“I no longer believe there is a visible earpiece.”

Haven’t we been here before, regarding Mr. Bush’s use of earpiece assistance?

http://homepage.mac.com/c.shaw/BushBulges/PhotoAlbum15.html

It allows the user to specify times and days when they fear you might be a bit tipsy (say, after 11pm on Fridays and Saturdays) – and if they try to send an email after that, it’ll force them to take a sobriety test.”

But that’s when I do my best drinking!

Thinking! I mean, thinking!

I didn’t see the debate. Was Obama blinking more than usual?

No, but….hang on…Palin WINKED!

Drunk, ugly and stupid is no way to go through life ann.

Shame on you. Althouse isn’t ugly.

I wouldn’t do her with yours, Susan.

At least not sober. Ann, pass the winebox.

I can’t speak for Susan of Texas, but if she and I are on the same wave-length, she might agree with me when I say, “Uh, hello, Ann Althouse is the purveyor of many fine and mockable things, but there are lots of us out here who are older and unbeautiful and, by the way, in constant possession of vaginas and other female characteristics, and although we would like very much to chime in with witticisms, even raucus ones, we’re get tired of and disheartened by what seems to be an inevitable conversational spiral into what someone would or would not hit, or the splitting of “cunt hairs”, or how remarkable the coincidence is that women we don’t like seem to have smelly, horrible, gaping, or evil vaginas and/or vulvas”.

It is not anyone’s job to take care of me and make me feel comfy and welcomed to this or any other site. But jeebus, if any of y’all are saying these things and not thinking about it beforehand, take a minute. If you don’t care about how I feel, then go at it. If it matters, then think twice.

we cant help it – misogyny is on the rise….

why? two words: Sarah Palin

but anyway vulvas are excellent and we all (mostly) dropped out of vaj jay jays so I wouldnt ascribe any negatives to that anatomy other than when its in the possession of a person who is a cunt (conio etc)

“I’m not making any assertion about how likely it is that there was a listening device in the ear canal, just stating the plainly obvious fact that photograph has nothing to say one way or the other about that.

Why blow a gasket?”

Because it’s an asinine statement with no meaningful content? Russell demonstrated the silliness of this sort of argument 60 years ago, for fuck’s sake. Let me reword Ann’s statement slightly. “Just because the teapot I said was in Obama’s ear isn’t there, that doesn’t mean there isn’t an invisible teapot in his ear.”

I think you guys snuck in and replaced normal (heh) Ann Althouse with a a couple of parodies named Shorter Ann Althouse and Verbatim Ann Althouse. WHERE IS THE REAL ANN ALTHOUSE?!?

In the Ann Outhouse. Talking to Ralph and Beulah on the white floor-mounted phone. Where else?