It’s not sex if you do it in the ass
Posted on March 20th, 2005 by
Or something like that:
A new study has found that young adults who make virginity pledges are just as likely to be infected with a sexually transmitted disease (STD) compared with those who do not take a pledge. […]
Compared with non-pledgers, the team found that male pledgers were were four times more likely to engage in anal sex and both male and female pledgers were six times more likely to have oral sex. Condom use was almost non-existent for oral sex and very low for those participating in anal sex.
Sweet dreams of Ben Shapiro, everybody!
Welcome back, ye scurvy bastarde!
speaking of getting it in the ass…that is precisely what Congress has been doing this fine Sunday. Figuring out new and mor multitudinous ways to give it to all of us in the ass, via the Terri Shiavo case. Please help, here’s how:
**********ACTION ALERT*********************
NO ONE IN CONGRESS IS ANSWERING THEIR PHONES.
WE MUST CONTACT THE MEDIA TO PUT PRESSURE ON CONGRESS TO BUTT OUT OF THE SCHIAVO CASE. THERE IS A REAL THREAT TO THE SEPARATION OF POWERS GOING ON, NOT TO MENTION CONGRESS MAKING MEDICAL DECISION AND PERSONAL DECISION AND THE DISGUSTING ASPECTS OF PLAYING POLITICS WITH PEOPLE LIVES THAT WE HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT FOR A FEW DAYS HERE.
THE PLAN: HERE IS A MEDIA LIST OF THE MAJORS AND THE NEWS ORGANIZATIONA THAT ARE WORKING THIS WEEKEND:
360@cnn.com, 48hours@cbsnews.com, 60II@cbsnews.com, am@cnn.com, Colmes@foxnews.com, comments@foxnews.com, crossfire@cnn.com, dateline@nbc.com, daybreak@cnn.com, earlyshow@cbs.com, evening@cbsnews.com, Foxreport@foxnews.com, insidepolitics@cnn.com, inthemoney@cnn.com, live@cnn.com, livefrom@cnn.com, newsnight@cnn.com, nightline@abcnews.com, nightly@nbc.com, rrhodes@airamericaradio.com, today@nbc.com, wam@cnn.com, wolf@cnn.com, world@msnbc.com, wsj.ltrs@wsj.com, http://www.nytimes.com, http://www.netaudr@abc.com
EMAIL ALL OF THEM PLEASE. TELL THEM FROM YOUR HEART WHAT YOU THINK OF WHAT’S HAPPENING AND TELL THEM THEY NEED TO REPRESENT THE “OTHER” SIDE OF THIS STORY, THAT TOM DELAY IS SLANDERING MICHAEL SCHIAVO, THAT CONGRES IS BUTTING INTO PEOPLE’S PERSONAL LIVES, THAT YOU ARE DISGUSTED BY WHAT THEY ARE DOING. TELL THEM WHAT YOU THINK.
TIPS: KEEP IT SHORT. THREE SENTENCES PER PARAGRAPH, NO MORE THAN THREE PARAGRAPHS. NO ESSAYS, THEY DON’T READ THEM.
CONGRESS WON’T HEAR US, SO WE NEED TO PRESSURE THE MEDIA. .
PLEASE DO IT NOW. WHAT ELSE YOU GONNA DO WHILE YOU WAIT FOR DEADWOOD, HUH?
Well, you know, it really isn’t a sin….
Second, for a young woman who has never engaged in sexual intercourse, having anal sex allows her to preserve her virginity (i.e., maintain an intact hymen) until marriage. There is no greater gift that a bride can give than to offer her pure, unsullied maidenhead to her husband on their wedding night.
But what about her pure, unsullied back door?
Sheesh. These people are just plain perverse. Nobody thinks about sex as much as they do.
As a man loving man, I’m used to the mental gymnastics *cough* straight *cough* guys go through to get their rocks off with other men. “Um, if I don’t kiss you, it means I’m not gay!” etc. And in certain Latino mindsets, being a top = totally not gay, nope, not at all, but being a bottom = total puto.
Silly humans, just fuck and be done with it. Who cares what your therapist is going to have to deal with for the next year?
There is no greater gift that a bride can give than to offer her pure, unsullied maidenhead to her husband on their wedding night.
Unless of course, she offers her trust-fund and didn’t insist on a pre-nup. If that’s the case, who gives a rat’s arse about maindenheads, unsullied or not?
Second, for a young woman who has never engaged in sexual intercourse, having anal sex allows her to preserve her virginity (i.e., maintain an intact hymen) until marriage.
Of course, so does not having anal sex. But that sort of behavior doesn’t get you invited to all the really fun parties . . .
Whenever that statistic is mentioned about the guys having anal sex, it never mentions if this is with women or other men.
“Sweet dreams of Ben Shapiro, everybody!”
pasty, fat, virgin Ben?! With that hair?! With that face?! With that smirk?! Jeezus, he probably emits a stench.
ewwwwwwwwwwwww!
oy! I am going to need two bottles of cough meds tonight just to sleep and hope to not dream…
How could you? And with you recently back and all.
(btw, how was your time away from us…?)
My evangelical sister-in-law has a sampler in their main bathroom that reads, “Back Door Friends Are Best.”
This is what the FOMC means when they say “the stance of monetary policy remains accommodative,” especially for those of you celebrating ARMs.
re- oral sex – like the Governator said when his wife caught him, “Eating isn’t cheating”
it feels nice back there, messr. callier!
GUTTER STUFF! IS THAT YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS ????????
i love it when my friends are knocking on my front and back doors at the same time!
888