A Few Deep Thoughts From Lorie Byrd
Even though Lorie Byrd was “really busy” this weekend — presumably trying to figure out how to buy American Carol tickets online — it didn’t stop her from posting a lengthy piece of nonsense at CheezWhizBang. I assume that SadlyNaughts are equally busy this weekend, so I’ll just summarize some of Lorie’s best, er, tidbits.
If you want to see conservative films coming out of Hollywood, go see An American Carol this weekend. … It is especially important that it have a good opening weekend so it will get some good buzz.
Behold the power of CheezWhizBang. David “9/11 Changed Everything” Zucker’s “nyuknyuk”-fest for bedwetters could only muster up about $2300 per screen in wide release. I’ll bet that candy sales per screen were pretty fucking awesome, however.
One thing has occurred to me as I have listened to all the Obama ads this weekend. … Many of the ads focus on how horrible McCain’s health care plan would be and I wonder if people realize that it doesn’t really matter what any of McCain’s plans look like. If McCain is elected he will have a Democrat controlled Congress to deal with. He won’t get anything passed …
I think we’ve finally found the one argument that is so utterly inane that there is not even one other wingnut on the face of the planet, Mark Noonan included, who could make it with a straight face. Lorie might as well argue that we shouldn’t pay attention to anything else that McCain says because he’s so senile he’ll forget he said it.
And finally, the best for last:
I am reading emails from readers and fellow bloggers who are worried that this might be our last free election if Obama is elected. It sounds a little extreme and over the top, but when I read their reasons for feeling that way it makes too much sense.
You can read the details for yourself but it has something to do with Obama kicking Oxycontin Rush off the airwaves so that he can declare himself dictator-for-life with the complicity of nine new Supreme Court justices that Obama somehow or other appointed on Inauguration Day. Or something like that.
My reader’s ideas are extreme and over the top?? Sounds good to me!
John McCain’s polling numbers suck wind because we are running a secret conspiracy to vote fraudulently (and I just bet I know what color those folks are). Do we have this straight?
That’s right, a constitutional law instructor is going to be the dictator of the decade, not the texas chucklefuck who already is wiretapping america without a warrant. These wingtards just don’t have the smarts. be sure not to tell them that a third of the military are “minorities”.
Regarding Palin and the press from wizbang’s Kim Priestap:
“Because she dares to question his judgment in who he chooses to associate with, the Associated (with Obama) Press to goes out of its way to paint her and anyone else who does the same as a racist. Yes, 2008 is the year journalism died.”
Religulous was f***ing awesome. It is far, far, far better than I expected. I like Bill Maher okay, but this is way above anything you’d expect given the average “Real Time” show. Go see this movie.
I haven’t quite made up my mind whether or not I’m going to enjoy wingnut reaction if Obama becomes President. On the one hand, there are the simple pleasures of schadenfreude coupled with hilarity. On the other hand, these are stupid, angry people.
Many of them with guns.
Careful with that photoshop! We don’t want a rerun of the Daffyd sandwich incident.
“Vote for McCain! He’s really not going to do what he says – don’t worry!”
David “9/11 Changed Everything” Zucker’s “nyuknyuk”-fest for bedwetters could only muster up about $2300 per screen in wide release.
And I think it cost something like $2700 a shot to put on the screen in the first place.
Wheee! Let’s hear it for the free market!
Ouch, Religulous made around 90% as much money with less that a third of the screens! Although LGF is an unfortunate abbreviation for the studio.
9 N An American Carol Viv. $3,810,000 – 1,639 – $2,325 $3,810,000
10 N Religulous LGF $3,500,000 – 502 – $6,972 $3,519,000
In their desperate hours the GOP has undertaken a bold new strategy.
Divide and Fail.
-GSD
Careful with that photoshop! We don’t want a rerun of the Daffyd sandwich incident.
Ja notice one of the promos ripped off this hallowed S, N image?
This is going to be the biggest cinematic trainwreck since Ben stein’s “expelled”. The only question left is weather or not it will make even LESS money.
Going by the “plot” synopsis, I must say I have seen more subtle and complex views of world politics in superman films from the 1940s.
Sez who? I’d be happy to rerun the Daffyd sandwich play.
Keep running it until they stop ya!
You know, we havn’t had anything from David “I’m so desperate for some distinct personal identity that I changed my name” for a while.
Michael Bloomberg just appointed himself dictator for life (*). He’s a liberal. It follows Obama will do the same.
(*) Washington Post “Chavez rules” applied verbatim to NYC mayoral election law.
Hellip?
I am reading emails from readers and fellow bloggers who are worried that this might be our last free election if Obama is elected.
Wingnuts project so hard they don’t have to go out to watch movies; they just hang a sheet on their living room walls and aim their heads at it.
A lot of people really want to see the movie but they know if they go the Islahomoabortionists will kidnap them and sacrifice them to George Soros.
So if you count the people who would go see the movie if it weren’t for the Islahomoabortionist plot, American Carol has had the biggest box office gross evar!
Y’know, it occurs to me that the pinnacle of these ugly, race-baiting, bitter, angry, onion belted cloud-yelling attacks will come on election night, in the McCain concession speech.
Grace and dignity? Is there any basis at this point to expect something like that from this senile mental defective? Especially now that he’s thrown any respect he might have had from his colleagues and the media out the window like a soiled Depends in his blind, mindless quest to grasp that which he feels he deserves.
Oh no. The best chance to see all the Non-PC unacceptable epithets that he has somehow managed to keep bottled up inside will be released in a late-evening speech that will become part of American Political Legend.
I, for one, cannot wait…
mikey
Grace and dignity? Is there any basis at this point to expect something like that from this senile mental defective?
No.
This movie is completely off my radar screen. What the hell is it? Is it worth my time to google it and find out, or will one of you take pity on me and just give me the progressive take on it so I can ignore it.
Please?
I have been thinking exactly the same thing. I can easily picture Lumpy McPOW, face purple with rage, throwing an Olympic-class tantrum.
I think Palin will cry, especially since it looks like she’s no longer welcome in Alaska. But when the camera pulls in close you’ll see something pretty damn scary swimming in her eyes.
Anyone taking bets on Mcain dropping dead of a heart attack when the results come in? Or during his vitriolic concession speech?
Seems possible. Family history of heart attacks, his age, and his habit of flying off the handle..
And if it happened.. Could Obama keep a straight face at the funeral?
I often look at the comments on a self-labeled Conservative website of mostly retirement age folks and I believe the Ayers/ACORN fixation these people have is really just nostalgia — toxic, hate-filled nostalgia.
Oh, OK, so none of you would have any pity on me, I had to go look up “American Carol” myself.
A one-joke comedy, said joke being “Michael Moore is fat.”
Glad I didn’t have to spend anymore time on it.
“This movie is completely off my radar screen. What the hell is it? Is it worth my time to google it and find out, or will one of you take pity on me and just give me the progressive take on it so I can ignore it.”
A guy much like Michael Moore (ie, the wingnut caricature of him) is visited by three ghosts. Kelsey Grammer plays Geo. S. Patton, somebody plays somebody else, and somebody else (Dennis Hopper?) plays somebody else. Hilarity ensues, presumably climaxing in the traitorous “Moore” being ashamed of how he’s traduced and besmirched our glorious country, its values and tradition, its heirs and assigns, its triumphs and its tragedies, its good cholesterol and bad cholesterol.
Three ghosts–it’s a “carol,” see? Nuff said.
All sentient bipeds will, it goes w/out saying, skip this one, if not actually pay strangers not to see it.
Here’s Roger Ebert take:
…a masterpiece… one of the miracles of cinema…filled with bravura visual moments… Its surface is as much fun as any movie ever made. Its depths surpass understanding.
Well, that’s actually from Ebert’s review of Citizen Kane, not An American Carol.
But to be fair to AAC, it’s generated plenty of striking reviews in an amazingly short time, though perhaps not the sort of review Zucker would prefer. Here’s one of my favorites, from Filmjerk:
…hoping to be the first Conservative-angled production to break free from assured ridicule and enjoy a rich box office life, yet comes staggering to the screen crippled with an absurd agenda, farcical impotence, and necrotic taste in comedic targets.
“… necrotic taste in comedic targets…” That’s gonna draw in the crowds.
Zucker and his pals don’t get it – or I might be tempted to say that Zucker does get it but chooses to ignore it to push his political agenda. That is, political satire only works when it’s bashing authority. You can’t make something funny about authoritarians bashing those with no real power. No matter how well written/acted/directed it may be, it’s still the haves kicking the have-nots around. That’s not funny, that’s pathetic.
Of course, Zucker is trying to play off the idiotic idea that the right-wingers are the true underdogs, even though they’ve had their hands exclusively on the levers of power for the last decade at least. And insofar as the wingnuts believe this premise, they will go along with it.
Thank gawd! Mark Steyn tracks down the REAL cause of the economic crisis. Teh Ghay. More specifically, “turns out the entire planetary meltdown is due to Congressman Frank’s sex life”.
Well that settles THAT.
No, I’m not making this up.
Damn. Forgot to you know what.
More specifically, “turns out the entire planetary meltdown is due to Congressman Frank’s sex life”.
Damn those gays, gentrifiying rundown neighborhoods, them with their historic home remodeling and their gardening! They’ve destroyed the economy!
What is it, I often wonder, that makes the moonbats compusively obsess about teh buttseks? C’mon, I’m a fag and I’m rather put off by the merest thought of Barney Frank’s sex life. *I* don’t think about gay sex nearly as much as they do. Even my Ho, who is a bit of slut, can’t match their attention to it.
readers and fellow bloggers who are worried that this might be our last free election if Obama is elected.
If only there were some prominent psychoanalyst with so few professional ethics that he would coin a phrase like “Obama Derangement Syndrome” as a quick way of questioning the sanity of anyone who disagreed with him.
Ha, libs! EAT IT! We are winning, even if the media is in the tank for The One, your stupid biased poles can’t be faked forever, the only real one is on election day, and we will not let homeless blacks on buses into our polls to fraud up the election, thats not racism that defending freedom!
…your stupid biased poles can’t be faked forever…
Hey. Some of my best friends are Poles, and they’re as smart and unbiased as anyone.
Lithuanians, on the other hand…
The Republican Cultists’ transference of Bush’s failures onto Obama is going to be fascinating to watch.
No, no, no! From what I’ve read, the humor is rich and varied. For example:
= Michael Moore smells bad.
= Michael Moore is a traitor.
= Michael Moore is repeatedly slapped and punched.
= Michael Moore is taunted by small children.
= Jimmy Carter is a wimp.
= ACLU lawyers are shot.
= Hitler sings Kumbaya.
= A group of sick and handicapped children are drowned.
Sounds like a laugh riot to me.
Here in Poleland, we likes us some retard republicants. They tastes like the chickens.
Storghagen,
You forgot something. Actually two things. John Sidney III was a POW, and Al gore is FAT.
The best chance to see all the Non-PC unacceptable epithets that he has somehow managed to keep bottled up inside will be released in a late-evening speech that will become part of American Political Legend.
Maybe he’ll tell us we won’t have John McLame to kick around anymore.
Is Lorie the NWOTW, by chance? I’ve never heard of her before.
More specifically, “turns out the entire planetary meltdown is due to Congressman Frank’s sex life”.
Oh come on, Frank can’t that hawt.
Yes, but you actually have sex. With another human being.
Seriously, obsessing over what people do with their naughty bits and demonizing them for it is a favorite fReichtard game. In addition, since they would jump an unwary goat in a heart-beat, they assume that every single ghey is waiting launch an assault on their Cheeto-engorged backsides.
I never realized that there was anyone out there who could make K-Lo look rational or seem like a deep thinker.
Could Obama keep a straight face at the funeral?
Yes, he could. Unlike a lot of smarty-pantses I know, including my own self, Obama is a dignified, respectful man who knows how and when to act appropriately. You know, he’s presidential material. Unlike Grampsy McInsanePeeveHead.
They have been blaming Bush’s failures on liberals since 2000. The mental gymnastics to transfer all the blame to Obama won’t be difficult. I’m more interested in the performance on January 20th, 2008 when all of a sudden an executive that can arbitrarily spy on Americans without a warrant magically changes from a necessary step to protect America into the Obama-Fuhrer’s main tool in establishing his shiny new dictatorship.
The best chance to see all the Non-PC unacceptable epithets that he has somehow managed to keep bottled up inside will be released in a late-evening speech that will become part of American Political Legend.
You know, I hadn’t considered that. I’ll keep an eye out for it. I’d more expect hime to snarl out a fairly respectful, if pouty, speech that was carefully written and which his handlers browbeat him into delivering without losing his shit.
It’s what he says when he thinks he’s off the record in the next few days after that that’ll be interesting, I betcha.
Man, it must chap Kelsey Grammer’s ass to know his best cinematic performance was playing The Beast in the third X-Men movie. Either that or Down Periscope.
Yes, but you actually have sex. With another human being.
Hell I ain’t had any sugar since Christ was a cowboy, and I don’t think that much about gay sex. ‘Course, I’m not into the fellers, so there’s that.
‘Course, I’m not into the fellers, so there’s that.
There’s the difference – you know yourself that well. The Wingtards are scared to death they might be into the fellers, and they’re not sure.
Me, I guess I’ve just never met the right boy.
Rock on, Gretchen Peters.
J- yeah, that’s a really good idea. I got an email just the other day suggesting we do that, donate money in Palin’s name to Planned Parenthood. Now, if only I had some money.
Gretchen Peters sounds like a good person.
His Grace: It’ll be interesting indeed to see the repugs suddenly screaming bloody murder about warrantles searches and the Bill Of Rights. Maybe they’ll do some good.
The Wingtards are scared to death they might be into the fellers, and they’re not sure.
I’ve nursed a theory along that line for years. At some point in every person’s life, male or female, they ask themselves, “Might I be gay.” Some of us aren’t, and life goes on pretty much unchanged ’cause of heteronormativity and shit. Some of us, of course, are and we’re forced deal with life from that perspective. Unfortunately, a few of us DON’T FUCKING WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT, AHHHHH!!!!! and apparently join the Republican Party.
Also, I firmly belive if every American male was fucked in the ass at least once in their life by their loving partner, we wouldn’t have to put up with all this shit. Doesn’t have to be a dude, either; strap-ons are the true Great Equalizers.
Fozzetti said,
October 6, 2008 at 0:02
His Grace: It’ll be interesting indeed to see the repugs suddenly screaming bloody murder about warrantles searches and the Bill Of Rights. Maybe they’ll do some good.
Oh sure. And budget deficits, and reckless foreign adventures. The poutrage will be endless.
Dave Broder is apolectic, in advance.
~
I am reading emails from readers and fellow bloggers who are worried that this might be our last free election if Obama is elected.
What the FUCK is wrong with these people?
I’ve nursed a theory along that line for years. At some point in every person’s life, male or female, they ask themselves, “Might I be gay.” Some of us aren’t, and life goes on pretty much unchanged ’cause of heteronormativity and shit. Some of us, of course, are and we’re forced deal with life from that perspective. Unfortunately, a few of us DON’T FUCKING WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT, AHHHHH!!!!! and apparently join the Republican Party.
That’s not a theory. There was that experiment a few years back, where young men were first asked to rank themselves in terms of their homophobia, and then had electronic gadgets hooked up to their junk and were shown gay porn. Sure enough, the ones who had already defined themselves as extremely homophobic were the ones who got turned on. The ones who had ranked themselves low on homophobia didn’t.
Arky, your description of their concession speech inspired me. Here’s my take:
http://heylookhear.com/Image/mcloser
(Best with sound on.)
Laurie’s transfattier than Michael Moore.
What?
More specifically, “turns out the entire planetary meltdown is due to Congressman Frank’s sex life”.
Hey, it costs a ton of money to recruit pre-schoolers to the homosexual agenda. First, you have to get the Smithsonian to put together an exhibit of an all male T-Rex orgy. Then you have to subsidize flannel shirts for all little girls and teach them to love their body hair. Also, it would be an unfunded mandate if the feds didn’t pay for every fireman to wear rubber short-shorts, as per the new homomandatory laws pushed through by Frank’s cabal. But the real budget-buster is keeping that totally faggy Tinky-Winky on the air. (Did you hear he’s purple?! Purple!e1eventy!!)
Well, we won’t, just on the math. Unless he swings on of thos Cheney Undead Deals (TM). but that’s only for Winners!
I can’t speak for everyone, but this feller is scared to death the Wingtards might be into him. Bleah. Yuck. And not just because most are built on Jonahesque lines and the rest were behind the door when the chins were handed out.
This is awful and the Baby Jesus will hit me with his pacifier, but we all know fRighties get off on feeling persecuted. And who do they spend most of their time persecuting these days?
I’m sure some of them sit in their parents’ basements thinking “It’s not fair! I’d be much better at taking shit from the Republicans than those stupid kw33rs! With their parades and sporting events and weddings, why aren’t they whining and screaming and holding their breath til they turn blue?!?”
I told you it was awful.
I don’t know why my “e” key went out on that last comment. I blame my political opponents.
The final paragraph of Rene Rodriguez’s review in the Miami Herald:
I loved Michael Moore’s comment on An American Carol…
“They told me I would be played by Viggo Mortensen!”
I believe in theory of the infinite sliding scale of human sexuality. You got your way-heteros on one end and your way-gays & lesbians on the other. In between are infinite degrees of hetero and homo, and I’d suggest most, if not all, folks fall somewhere along the in-between scale, and if we could all just recognize that and quit with the pigeonholing already we’d all be happy and carefree forever. (Why oh why does no one ever listen to me!) Those who consider themselves way-het just haven’t realized they may actually be closer to the midpoint, and if they think about it at all they scare themselves into repression, which presents as loathing of the feared thing, and of the self. It’s that whole binary way of viewing the world that fucks up the brain, especially of those who tend toward controlling, authoritarian ways of ordering the world, like your basic wingnut Thugtard. Hence their mindless kneejerk homophobia.
Then again, I know fuckall about statistics or psychology, or anything else for that matter. But it makes sense to me.
You know, I just don’t know why or how long-time Republicans can stand calling themselves Republicans any more. The Republican party is so compromised that any relationship it had with political conservatism is long gone.
I do odd jobs, house-sitting, and critter care for a number of people. One husband and wife are staunch Republicans and McCain supporters, but even they acknowledge that they aren’t all that conservative socially, i.e., they have an adult gay daughter whom they love and accept wholeheartedly, along with her long-time partner. (And they’re not Cheney-esque about it: I believe they extend that consideration to all gay people, not just their exceptional exception.)
Another husband and wife are in a totally mixed marriage: she’s supporting Obama, and he was a card-carrying, money-donating Bush supporter up until very recently. I spoke with her not long ago (the day after the first “no” vote on the bail-out) and she remarked that he was distraught to the point of clinical depression (she and I both enjoy a certain amount of exaggerating), totally off the Bush train, unable to consider McCain, and throwing his somewhat listless support to…Ron Paul.
I like all these people a lot. They’d help me; I’d help them. If, or possibly just when things fall apart, we’re not going to be on opposite sides of any barricade. And yet three of the four will still support and vote for McCain. (Please note that I don’t think Barack Obama is the Messiah. But I think he’s a decent man and I’m going to vote for him. I don’t give my heart to anyone or anything any more. Well, maybe a kitteh or a puppling now and then.) Humans is curious creatures, every last one of us.
I think the same paradigm is at play as used to exist for youths gay and straight alike pre-Internet; straight young men, as Penny Arcade pointed out, would happily whip one out to an Arby’s ad. If you were a Republican with terrible goddamn issues about not just being gay but enjoying the idea of sex at all, you’d probably do a lot of thinking about either (a) the few and generally uninteresting people who are out and successful and/or (b) how horrible and disgusting and shameful it would be if it turned out X succesful public figure were Greek.
To be fair, the few disgusting right-wing men who are openly gay don’t have anywhere near as deeply disturbing internal sex lives. You never hear Andrew Sullivan wondering aloud whether Obama and Edwards could give each other Dirty Sanchezes.
Doon’t eeveen geet mee staarteed oon thoose Good-daamn Eestooniaans.
“I am reading emails from readers and fellow bloggers who are worried that this might be our last free election if Obama is elected.”
I’m worried that if Obama is elected, the previous election will turn out to be our last free one.
What’s strange is that even people who you would think would be all about accepting whatever point any given person to occupy will sometimes hate portions of this spectrum, or even deny their existence.
See, I was impressed kind of by the opposite: we saw him at an event earlier in the year and he joked around with a couple of Chicagoans while getting to a question about national service. It’s the sort of thing wingnuts like to imagine is pouring into America like the maple syrup in Canadian Bacon, but it’s genuinely charming to have a Presidential candidate whooping it up for the South Side.
He’s constitutionally capable of calmly and seriously dealing with people he despises, but he’s not some kind of Washington automaton. He’s the only person who’s even been in the running you can say that of since 1992.
Oh, MzNicky, I listen to you. And I agree with the sliding scale/spectrum view of sexual orientation. And I think it’s so hard to find someone to love, someone you can get along with and share space with for decades, OMG, and you know what, I defy anyone to say honestly that they do not know anyone who’s gay. I don’t care how right wing or Christianist they are, everybody has a cousin or sibling or friend (or jeebus, a hair stylist) who is gay, but the zealots make room for these people in their lives by designating their gay acquaintance as “one of the good ones”. That’s kind of what I meant about the Cheney exceptional exceptionalism.
While I tend to accept the conclusion here (there’s really little to no legitimate reason for getting worked up about two grown adults’ sex life), bear in mind that penile measuring devices aren’t admissible in court – they’re unreliable and the science behind them is sketchy. (As skepdic points out, it only takes thinking about morning wood to call what the PP relies on into question.)
My gay guy is an illegal Mexican closeted transvestite married to my enormous aunt. Between that and him being primarily responsible for raising two of my second cousins, I think he’d give your average freeper some kind of damn apoplexy.
Oh, Alec, I would give him a round of applause. And a bottle of what I am currently drinking, which is Lagunitas Brewing Company’s October Seasonal Cappuccino Stout. Mmmm, good. Beer you can eat with a spoon.
I see the wingnut’s homophobia as just a piece of their line-drawing obsession, where everybody has these boxes they are supposed to fit into. Men must be John Wayne, women must be June Cleaver, children must be seen, not heard, and beaten with dowel rods.
They believe that without strong external constraints, constantly applied, everyone would go craaaaaaazy.
Because they have grown up with these constraints, and have never gotten a strong internal self, or functioning conscience.
They live in a Skinner box.
MzNicky, I like what you say, but the Kinsey scale isn’t relevant here. We need to refer to the the Asshole Scale.
First, consider the crap the fRighties spew about Les Gayes sounds almost exactly like the crap they spew about anyone who isn’t a fRighty. We know those two-legged pus wads don’t secretly fear they’re African-American or Hispanic or recent immigrants (or Jewish or Asian or Catholic or Muslim or Women or Elitist Latte-Sipping Ivory Tower Dwellers…), so the theory that some of them are afraid they might be “one of them” doesn’t fit.
Second, back to the Asshole Scale. There is no connection between suspecting one is less than 100% hetero and being a complete dickhead to people who know they aren’t 100% hetero, even if you’re really, really unhappy about the possibility of being less than 100% str8. If some of these idiots are freaking out because they got a boner in the locker room and feel they can only exorcise the imps of kw33rness from their loins by gay-bashing, it’s because they’re 100% asshole.
I believe in theory of the infinite sliding scale of human sexuality
MzNicky finds that sliding scales are sexy? That’s a bit weird.
I have to agree that the whole “measuring tiny changes in the diameter of a mans penis gives you solid research data” thing is dodgy.
Any traumatic stimulus that gets the adrenaline flowing has a similar effect, and a lot of research simply ignores that. One very dodgy study came up with the conclusion that 75% of men are paedophiles.
Measuring mild sexual arousal seems to be pretty much impossible using that method. Perhaps impossible anyway.
All the same, I do suspect some kind of link between homophobia and being in self-denial. Not in all cases though, because there are always many reasons for hatred.
I don’t know from penile measurements. But what triggers arousal in any human being is not necessarily dispositive of her or his character. It’s what you do that matters. If you have a battered, poisoned past, maybe weird fantasies allow you to get off. The writer Joanna Russ wrote (and I’ll find the cite, maybe later) that if you can get off at all, it doesn’t matter what the fantasy is, because you’ve won. Your history tried to kill any joy or ecstasy, and it failed, because you felt it anyway.
The key thing, the prime directive, the golden damn rule is that you do no harm unto others, and that you help out when you can.
I think that normal people capable of self examination, know they are not 100% anything. Every normal bloke can name at least one extremely feminine tendency they have, and it goes the same for any category people put themselves in. They can define the limits of how well they fit into that box.
When you get people to think about it, they will admit they don’t fit any label perfectly. Some people are damned proud of it!
Reichtards on the other hand, are emotionally crippled. They think since they are hetro, they cant be even a little big gay. Since they are a loyal republican, they can’t bring themselves to disagree with the party on anything.. Since they identify with box Y, they cannot display any trait associated with the inhabitants of boxes X or Z.
It is just some people seem to think there is comfort to be found in black and white thinking, when really it just leads to madness, since it is a kind of thinking that doesnt reflect reality.
The right wing’s abundant Larry Craigs and Pastor Haggards are proof their method of oppressing people to deny their essential nature is epic fail.
“Sex with men for me, but not for thee.”
– Unofficial ReThuglican motto.
Smut Clyde said,
October 6, 2008 at 2:35
I believe in theory of the infinite sliding scale of human sexuality
MzNicky finds that sliding scales are sexy? That’s a bit weird.
I had to use a slide rule for AP Physics in H.S.
We were teh kewl kidz.
You got your way-heteros on one end and your way-gays & lesbians on the other. In between are infinite degrees of hetero and homo, and I’d suggest most, if not all, folks fall somewhere along the in-between scale, and if we could all just recognize that and quit with the pigeonholing already we’d all be happy and carefree forever
MzNicky, you should read “Bonk” by Mary Roach– it’s an interesting look on the research being done on human sexuality. And she points out that there’s way more work to be done, but getting grants to research orgasms is damn near impossible.
Plus, according to “Bonk” measuring a man’s sexual response isn’t just done w/ penis measurements (hee hee, I said penis!), but heart rate, blood pressure, pupil dilation, etc. It’s fascinating, really.
I asked Lorie for some of that candy, but she’s not interested in sharing.
Big surprise.
I don’t think it’s really a sexual thing or a being an asshole thing or even a “I can’t be even the least bit feminine” thing. I think it’s an “oh, my god, I can’t even contemplate the possibility that I might not be right about something or that I might not be what I’m supposed to be so I better not think about it and, indeed, make sure I never have to think about it. I was perhaps unclear.
I don’t think every homophobic asshole or pig-ignorant moron is a closet case. For that matter, not all of ’em are denying the very question of how much they’d love some hot, sweaty, throbbing man gravy*, even if indeed they didn’t. Some folks are just assholes and some folks are just friggin’ ignorant, and far too many of both are too goddamn lazy and chickenshit to be anything but. Granted, there is some cross-over between the three.
You’ll notice the pig-ignorant, chickenshit assholes, however, are the ones who’ve decided that denying basic civil liberties to a portion of the population simply because they’re gay and not bothing anyone.is a crackerjack plan and will save the nation and must be persued at the expense of all else. It’s pretty friggin’ stupid all around.
* Or lady gravy. It depends.
if you can get off at all, it doesn’t matter what the fantasy is, because you’ve won. Your history tried to kill any joy or ecstasy, and it failed, because you felt it anyway.
larkspur: Oh wow. I love that.
the golden damn rule is that you do no harm unto others, and that you help out when you can.
That’s your basic Buddhishism. We’re here to relieve the suffering of others. There’s nothing else that really matters.
Every normal bloke can name at least one extremely feminine tendency they have
Snorhagen: And vicerey versay. I’ve been strongly attracted to women, and (ahem) acted on it in the past, despite the patriarchal cultural dictate that women should be jealous of each other’s sexual desirability and thus hate each other for competitive reasons. The point being, competition for what?
ittdgy: Don’t know what a slide rule is for. Guess that’s why I got a D in high-school algebra?
First, you have to get the Smithsonian to put together an exhibit of an all male T-Rex orgy.
Multiple Marc Bolan clones getting it on with one another? Sounds hawt.
Our Dear Selves: When oh when will it be recognized that, from the feminin(e)(ist) perspective, it’s not length that counts, but diameter? The vagina does not extend lengthwise into the upper abdomen. Penises that are too long make for uncomfortable sex, not to mention ridiculous architecture.
necrotic taste in comedic targets
The problem is, even the mouth-breathing rightards who can read (even if they have to move their lips) won’t understand that this is a negative comment. Too many syllables. And for days after reading it, they’ll go around saying things like, “Man, I can’t believe that chick smiled at you. She’s totally necrotic!” and slapping high-fives.
it’s not length that counts, but diameter
I eat and I eat but the width just doesn’t get where I want it to go.
RB: Tell me about it.
When oh when will it be recognized that, from the feminin(e)(ist) perspective, it’s not length that counts, but diameter? The vagina does not extend lengthwise into the upper abdomen. Penises that are too long make for uncomfortable sex, not to mention ridiculous architecture.
Yes, but you will never be able to convince men of this. If they don’t have a long wang, then they’re driving a Hummer.
Oh, and a comment on An American Carol (I just dry-heaved while typing that), “This movie’s level of political discourse makes Couric/Palin look like Frost/Nixon.” via Rotten Tomatoes.
atheist: Re your link concerning het, bi, and gay tendencies: I am compelled to note that the study focused on male sexual arousal. As usual. TIRESOME!
This is, in fact, the basis for ‘scriptural literalism’. It gets far better treatment in the US media than it deserves; they take the claim that ‘scripture is infallible’ at face value, where it really means, by way of ‘the exegesis of this impenetrable holy book I buy into is infallible’, ‘I am inerrant and infallible’ – and by way of that, ‘I am God.’ And they’re very jealous gods, as well.
Our Dead Selves: ANYONE who drives a Hummer is automatically assumed to be micropenised and, what’s worse, brain-dead. That’s just conventional wisdom.
Men must be John Wayne, women must be June Cleaver, children must be seen, not heard, and beaten with dowel rods.
John Wayne? John Wayne was a fag.
For the most part, dicks vary the most when they’re flaccid; with extremely few and fairly remarkable exceptions, engorging a human penis to the physical limits dictated by its rest size and composition would require a second heart. Between that and our cultural fixation on virginity among women (‘tight’ etc), we’ve been trained to ignore the predominant effect of physical arousal (and it is physical – Viagra keeps plants from wilting) in sexual function. Our genitals are held incorrectly to be an integral part of ourselves, directly wired to the brain instead of as dependent on the body’s other systems as the arms or legs.
My private hypothesis is that the Golden Rule exists in every legitimate religion; it expresses what might just be the only truth about mankind brought to light by emotional experience. Conversely, any supposed religion without it is some mixture of mysticist cult and scholarly bagatelle. This disqualifies Scientology, Positive Christianity, and Heaven’s Gate, but not Mormonism, Bahai, or the Peoples Temple.
Any religion with the Golden Rule can do at least some good for the world by forcing people to recognize anyone they deal with as intrinsically human. That may not amount to much, but even among the more bloodthirsty and overconfident religious communities it makes for something. It’s difficult to imagine an equivalent of the fatwa against the use of serrated knives in hostage execution videos for their needless cruelty in a non-GR regime.
Worth mentioning that ‘feminine tendency’ tends to be regarded as uniform within a culture and strangely out of place between them. Before the introduction of Protestant missionaries, for instance, in at least one New Guinean culture gossip, preening, and abstention from outside work were fundamentally masculine traits – not just in the sense of them being associated with men but in the sense that they were a fundamental, defining part of masculinity in that culture. For all of the Paglian shrieking about our gonads making us irreconcilably different, society sure does a hell of a job of making role-playing freaks out of us – why on Earth would gender be any different?
I’ve recently wanted to mock up a treatment of the pressure the patriarchy – who for some reason would be a violent, homophobic, and profoundly vain Abraham Lincoln – exerts on men. Women definitely get the short end of the stick, but it’s not a zero-sum game – unless there’s something fundamentally desirable about the culture automatically assuming you’re uninterested in children (and if you are you’re probably a pedophile), your personal value is a product of how much work you do, you are constitutionally incapable of romantic love and this must be compensated for with things that cost a lot of money, you obsess over what absorbs your jizz and when and why, and all that shit. Being a woman in a patriarchial society is the worse of the two, but being anyone in a patriarchial society – except for the tiny few who reap the profits of it – is horrible and backwards.
I think they’re for one, some, or all of exponentation/roots, multiplication, and logarithms. Personally, I got a D in middle-school algebra because I was lazy, although God knows I’m terrible at math anyway.
I, for one, look forward to seeing the Loose Tooth lose his shit here.
I would be if it weren’t for his increasing obsession with any even vaguely violent language, fraudulence, and a sort of plodding Leninist historical fatalism mixed with a nearly pathological denial of an unpleasant reality. Someone who claims to be talking about the danger mobsters pose to him and then treats someone describing Dutch Schulz’s MO as a direct and personal threat is clearly operating at a level beneath normal.
All of that plus the ideologically mandatory projection points to him steeling himself for an orgy of violence. Because he’s a stulted man-child, I doubt any human beings are going to wind up killed, but I’m seriously afraid he’s going to hurt someone, and nothing that happens in a democratic society is worth that.
Being a woman in a patriarchial society is the worse of the two, but being anyone in a patriarchial society – except for the tiny few who reap the profits of it – is horrible and backwards.
Agreed. And this was Friedan (for one)’s original thesis — that a traditional patriarchal construct fucks up not just women, but men as well. How telling that the prevailing heteronormative cultural arbiters of her day, male and female, were so threatened they rather successfully demonized her work as that of an ugly disgruntled man-hating banshee. The oppressor always fears the oppressed.
There’s a jungle tribe somewhere who solved this dilemma quite ingeniously …
1: Make numerous incisions along length of Le Weenie
2: Insert stones & twigs
3: ?????
4: PROFIT!!!
Nowadays quantitatively insecure men (most of whom are NOT unusually poorly-hung, interestingly enough) pay big bucks to have the ligatures holding Le Weenie in place severed, then spend about 2 years with an 8 lb. iron weight hanging off of it. Which gets them about an extra 2 inches of length, but doesn’t do anything to their girth.
Science Marches On!
MzNicky:
Add to that another infinite sliding scale separate from the first that denotes gender expression. From girly-girl pink lace on one end to he-man rough denim on the other. Now toss that scale in with the other and you’ve got one confusing mix. Most of all, understanding the nature of sexual orientation and of gender is threatening, or seen as threatening to the prevailing order. Hence the need to keep people in the dark, in the closet, so that they can be better exploited.
Well, yes. Schlafly has spent a lucrative professional career yelling at poor women about the virtues of abstaining from professional careers and independent wealth.
I mean, just like the righties who blather on and on about how horrible and sinful and un-American and out of touch the coasts are and who would never dream of leaving their megalopolitan hometown, it’s really not a coincidence that a solid majority of Ladies Against Women are not only wealthy enough to have the luxury of domesticity (a luxury, let it be said, that is for any but the super-rich an extremely recent phenomenon; middle-class and lower-middle-class women could never afford not to work, and not just in the sense that cleaning house is hard work but in the sense of working in a goddamn factory and in cottage industry), but refuse to actually employ it. Schlafly and LaHaye could be at home raising their kids, but for some strange reason they prefer to fob them off on nannies and tour around Washington having family values for the cameras.
Schlafly’s husband is a kept man. I wonder if he ever greets her at the door dressed in nothing but saran wrap?
Fun fact: recent polls indicate a staggering 12% swing in Obama’s favor, that he’s polling close to at par among registered Republicans, absolutely dominating the independent vote, and managed (together with Clinton) to get enough people registered as Democrats that states which had Republican majorities since 1994 or earlier are suddenly solid blue; these polls come in the wake of longer, more involved state polls which give over 325 electoral votes during a 3-5% national swing.
My advice to any Republican observers would be to get used to the way the Democrats work. Almost none of them are as radical as you’ve been told; even Kerry, though fairly leftist by Beltway standards, was and is pretty tepid in both objective and national terms. But if you really want to you can shrivel into National Front-style extremist irrelevance. Maybe the True Patriotic Conservative Christian Market Republican Party “Newt Gingrich” will even win a few state senators.
🙁
You’re boring as fuck, Troof.
ht: DN
I hope she’s keeping him in a freezer chest. Mr. S. has been dead for a while.
The rumors that Mrs. Schalfy ate him are mostly unfounded in fact.
Honestly: how on Earth could he? And none of the crap about heartland voters / sudden changes of heart / horrifying radicalism / etc, I mean actual numbers.To win the election, he would have to whittle down a commanding lead – and not just any commanding lead, but one stronger than that enjoyed by Reagan in 1980 against one of history’s most unpopular Presidents and within sight of LBJ’s advantage against Goldwater; Bush started within the margin of error of his victory in both 2000 and 2008; beating a five-point spread makes you a dark horse and beating a ten-point spread generally means you’ve got a gun to someone’s head.
How in God’s name, when both the electoral vote and the polls are so heavily in the blue that Missouri and Colorado are swing states and Montana and Texas are edging towards the same, is the losing candidate gonna win? It’s like you’re predicting the Republicans will not just win but wake up with wallets filled with twenty-four carat gold. It’s so ridiculous it’s tedious to even call false.
Pardon: his victory in 2000 and 2004.
And just to clarify, my previous post cleverly included a direct threat to whittle, shoot, and/or lead-poison you to death. It’s right there, in plain English words and everything.
Obama hits hard with Teh Awesome! Ole Sidney III is crapping his Depends about now, I reckon. The full video hits tomorrow at noon, which we should note is the day before the economics debate.
Good Christ. I think this one might actually cost McCain his seat if he doesn’t figure out some kind of damage control.
For seven years my father and I have been driving each other’s blood pressure up by discussing politics. He blamed the economic problems of the early years of Bush’s term on Clinton. When the economy remained lackluster, he blamed the media for being too negative in their assessment of the economy. That discouraged investors, and slowed growth.
Now? Even he isn’t delusional enough to blame the Democratic congress elected in 2006. So he rants against Barney Frank and Franklin Raines as the beginning and end of the problem. (Complete coincidence that they are respectively gay and black.)
I can well believe that the culpability is shared by both Democrats and Republicans, and Raines is one of the CEOs who got theirs bigtime while leaving the corporation to crash and burn. But my father can’t deny that Bush left Frank and Raines to do terrible things with no oversight or effective regulation.
You know, the satisfaction of being right just isn’t worth the pain this is causing to millions of innocent people.
How in God’s name … is the losing candidate gonna win?
Stage a coup? Crash the economy, suspend the constitution, call in the military and cancel the election. Then install McCain who keels over in a few months leaving Sara Palin, with Dick Cheney as VP, dictator for life. Sound like a plan?
That warn’t me who wrote thet there line, thet were Alec.
Great quote by Alec Baldwin:
“This bailout is as if someone blew up a meth lab and insisted he collect on his homeowners policy.”
That’s fucking brilliant.
No stock. US$70bn and not a single fucking share.
Would you, as a living, carbon-based lifeform ever give money to a for-profit company without demanding a product, a service, a tax deduction or proportional shareholder ownership?
I’ll wait.
…
Yup. You guessed it.
Fuck no. The only reason there are no more “fucks” in that sentence is because it’s two words long.
In the end, what does it even matter? There’s tens of trillions about to be lost in the swirling murk of CDSs, CBOs and the rest of the acronymic shitpile.
It’s going down like the Titanic. Thank Jeebus you can drive to the lifeboats.
according to “Bonk” measuring a man’s sexual response isn’t just done w/ penis measurements
But to harp on penis mensuration — the book is worth reading, if only for the explanation of how to detect nocturnal erections using perforated postage stamps.
Yer quotin’ MzNicky, not me. It’s like Ourobouros in reverse here.
joos need a new thread slackers. What you all become an hero? WTF?
Indeed it is.
Yes, I was quoting MzNicky. She had quoted a line you (Alec) wrote, but mistakenly attributed it to me.
It appears to be ‘Sockpuppet #47’. The crucial difference is my crippling phobia of boxes. Just mentioning the word is putting me close to an asthma attack.
Ah – yes, it was Sockpuppet #47. She quoted him thinking it was me and you also quoted him so I thought he was you and then you thought I was quoting her when I was actually quoting her quoting him, though I thought he was you. Makes perfect sense now.
That’s so Raven.
i liked this comment about american carol from a reviewer on ain’t it cool news:
Quotations are all we have now. Language is a system of quotations.
Is Raven one of Bill Ayers’ code names?
my gay guy is an illegal Mexican closeted transvestite married to my enormous aunt.
Ahem. If he’s married to your enormous aunt, he’s legal. ‘Nuff said.
Well, yes: and as a transvestite and a married man he’s not technically gay. But in freeperese, being born anywhere near Mexico makes you an illegal (this includes the whole population of New Mexico, although largely because of the name) and anything but the Cleavers is queer.
I meant more that he came over here illegally, although God knows he has more business in this country than I do. He’s easily my favorite person on that side of the family – he’s the only one who’s not some kind of stupid or some kind of mean.
I hope he and your enormous aunt are very happy. I wish them well.
The whole fucking idea of “illegality” is fucked. A person is “legal” when they come to the US on a student visa. They have an academic set-back and take a semester off? Ooops, suddenly they’re “illegal.”
A person gets a job with working visa. They get laid off. Ooops, suddenly they’re “illegal.”
A person takes a vacation, visits their relatives. Something happens – a family crisis, a shortage of funds, a purse snatched with a plane ticket. Ooops! suddenly they’re “illegal.”
I have a friend who, for about 24 hours, was “illegal.” A British citizen, married to a guy employed by a US university, she flew home for the holidays to visit her family and was given incorrect advice by the university’s Visa Office about procedure. Apparently, there was a paperwork step she was supposed to make before returning. Ooops! she’s illegal. She flew into LAX and 1 hour later she was in jail for 12 hours until everything got straightened out.
It’s fucked.
Liberals in Canada are getting their brake lines cut:
http://www.thestar.com/federalelection/article/512033
The Republican Cultists’ transference of Bush’s failures onto Obama is going to be fascinating to watch.
I am willing to bet a cookie that, by Halloween, there will be a fReichtard trophe in print insisting that B. Hussein Obama deliberately crashed his own fighter jet during the Vietnam War so that he could hide out as a pretend-POW and escape from the terrorist tentacles of Bill Ayers!!!eleventy-one!! Any takers?
Also, the concession speech I’m looking forward to, for sheer schadenfreud-aliciousness, is Sarah Palin’s. Of course she will try to squeeze out a few tears, but my prediction is that the level of temple-throbbing red-eyed rage, bile & self-pity exhibited by Bible Spice may cause hardened Media Village Idiots to call Senator Clinton and apologize for every nasty crack they ever made about her. Schoolyard insults will be interlaced (interfrothed) with Old-Testament-style calls for vengeance upon the new Anti-Christ and all his newly-blue-state followers. Palin may even start speaking in tongues before the RNC hondlers can get the cameras shut down.
For the most part, dicks vary the most when they’re flaccid
I appear to have been shortchanged. Mine doesn’t vary at all.
Anne Laurie,
It’s going to be one for the ages, alright.
Right up there with this one for sheer oh-thank-FSM factor.
Therein being why an old friend of mine advertising himself as “hung like a can of tuna” never seemed to dampen his opportunities all that much.
No, no. They vary among measurements a great deal when erect; when flaccid, the variance (the kind everyone takes seriously) is between different guys.
In general, unless you’re hung like a cranberry, you’ll clock in somewhere between 6 and 10 inches when it actually matters, unless you’re into some really involved teabagging.
Ah yes. One of the many bits of free-floating information in my head thanks to college. I know it was in a psych class, but I don’t remember which particular psych class. When I think of the psych classes I had to take I can’t fit “Here’s a cool, cheap, way to diagnose impotence” into any of them. I just know I no longer look at postage stamps the same way.
Liberals in Canada are getting their brake lines cut:
http://www.thestar.com/federalelection/article/512033
They deserve it for trying to destroy their country, and besides, they did it too! Paybacks a bitch.
The fact is, Obama wants to bring up Keating? Fine. We’ll bring up his ties to terrorism, his half brother in Africa, and Rev. Wright.
OT, but too good not to mention:
Obama campaign website launched:
http://www.keatingeconomics.com/
with full video to be released at HIGH NOON Monday.
The R’s want to talk about Ayers?
The D’s will talk about Keating,
I doubt Palin will even make a concession speech. She thinks she’s qualified to be VP, why would listen when the mainstream media (now) or the American electorate (November 4th) tell her otherwise?
Ah – yes, it was Sockpuppet #47. She quoted him thinking it was me and you also quoted him so I thought he was you and then you thought I was quoting her when I was actually quoting her quoting him, though I thought he was you. Makes perfect sense now.
D’oh!
Liberals in Canada are getting their brake lines cut:
For what it’s worth there are a couple of other parties involved in the election running to the left of those Liberals. The Liberals are the centrists.
Speaking of canucks and An American Carol, I am disappointed about Frank Drebin’s appearance in this turd.
I doubt Palin will even make a concession speech.
Have to agree. Long before that point, Palin will likely have re-assumed her White Worm form and oozed back into her lair.
He won’t get anything passed …
She’s just fertilizing the dolchstosslegende which was planted in the minds of wingnitwits so long ago.
When Obama gets elected, there is going to be a media frenzy to say the least. If you made a drinking game out of watching the news in november, drinking every time you hear the word “historic” would have you under the table in no time.
I think anything Mcain or Palin do or say will simply be completely ignored by the media, unless it is very juicy. You think Mcain is out of date and irrelevant now? What about after he looses?
I think everyone knows this is Mcains last shot at real political influence, and this is Palins ONLY opportunity. Palin isn’t an up and coming contender. She won’t be back in 2012.
I think in that situation, Mcain might say something racist and insane just for the attention.
Yeah! And I’ll say that without any evidence whatsoever! Take that, America! You don’t like Obama…he’s unelectable!
Yeah, all these states aren’t in play! McCain only left Michigan because he had already won it! Boo yeah!
Yeah, Obama’s campaign is exactly like Kerry’s! Exactly like it! Kerry had a huge lead in October and led most of the summer! That actually happened! Ding dong dilly, libs!
Yeah, certain polls showing a microscopic Kerry victory = every poll showing an Obama blowout! It’s just like that! And Obama’s black! Boogity boogity boo!
(panting)Obama! Wright! Ayers! Michelle Obama! Boo! Scary! WHY WON’T YOU PEOPLE LISTEN TO MEEEEEEEEEEE
Also, watch as I stop even attempting to debate those who routinely kick my ass (Dragon-King, D.N., etc.) and just focus on one guy (alec). Divide and conquer! I’m so smart and awesome and McCain’s just gonna win because Obama something something diddily ding dong doddily doo!
WHY WON’T YOU PEOPLE LISTEN TO MEEEEEEEEEEE
There is irony present.
I see Toot is attempting to tell us that Kerry was in the same situation Obama is. Unfortunately for Toot, there’s this thing called the Internet where you can look stuff up.
Top story at 538 – Barack Obama is winning Georgia right now. Fucking Georgia.
Although he’s not saying that Georgia is actually in play, just pointing out that JiSM3’s chances of taking Michigan are worse than Obama’s chances of taking Georgia.
“that’s so raven!”
FYI, a “raven” in spy slang is a male agent whose job is to seduce someone, either to gain information directly or to compromise them for blackmail.
dagnabit, that “raven” comment at 16:05 was moi. Not that it matters but still…
You left out the part where she ran over a polar bear with her SUV.
the truth might be the saddest troll this place has ever seen. including rupperto.
John McCain’s polling numbers suck wind because we are running a secret conspiracy to vote fraudulently (and I just bet I know what color those folks are). Do we have this straight?
Two of the polling questions are “How many times do you plan to vote?” and “How many times did you vote in the last election?” Your responses get a greater weight if you answer is > 1 on either of those questions.
the truth might be the saddest troll this place has ever seen
Troofy’s my favorite, but in terms of saddest – you gotta go with the sell-out hippie. Someone make fun of John Lennon and see if we can get The Fool to comeback.
you gotta go with the sell-out hippie.
Bleargh – The Fool is on the short list for Sadly, No!’s most tiresome troll ever.
Then again, all the other trolls are on there too. Maybe I should stop calling it the short list.
At least The Fool was fun to bat around for a while. He was just such a, well, a fool.
When troll nostalgia rears its head
It’s way past time for a new thread.
Imagine there’s no trolling
It’s easy if you try
No twits before us
Behind us no more pie
Imagine all the users
Writing for today
You may say that I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one
Fuck You. All you The Fool haters don’t fundamentally get it. He was all about tolerance and understanding and could probably kick your ass in a fight.
Bleargh – The Fool is on the short list for Sadly, No!’s most tiresome troll ever.
They’re all on that list. Except for Gary.
If we’re waxing nostalgic, I miss ugly the cat photos.
“ugly the”? How do I do that? It’s like a sickness.
Ugly the Cat and his sidekick Rancid Magpie
Look out! Here comes Fresh Fox and Dapper Dove!
I’m voting for Annie and Schlumpy.
Ding dong dilly, libs! It’s the Cool Coach reporting once again from Rockin’ Red America! As long as you’re taking votes for the most annoying troll ever, don’t forget to serve up a SPREAD of ME!
Badoodle-boo yeah, loony libs! Urban out.
A friend sent me this link from HuffPo re: How to shoot down the bullshit William Ayers/Obama Domestic Terrorist Network Society That Began Secretly When Barry X was Eight Years Old, Which Explains Why Obama Hates America and is a Stealth Islamofascist Who Will Blow Up Our Country. Not that facts will make any difference.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-k-wilson/30-lies-refuted-about-aye_b_132109.html
Also, I think there’s a new Wingnut Domestic Terrorist op going on. This morning when I went to get my newspaper, someone had thrown a disgusting sack of fast-food leavings into my yard. I’m sure it’s because of my Obama yard sign. Coincidence? I think not.
Re: Sadly, No!’s most annoying troll
Maybe Brad could set up another poll. They are fun, and this one would rhyme.
Speaking of trolls, check out William Kristol’s latest New York Times column if you haven’t already.
HEY GUYS I’M THE NEW TROLL AND MY THING IS I THROW A VOLLEYBALL AT YOUR FACE
Bucket is a wonder of cringe-inducing “lingo” and random Ctrl-C Ctrl-V – but I’ve finally figured out where the ding-dong-dilly comes from. Bucket ruv you rong time.
Lorie has posted her “review”. She says more about the audience then she does about the movie – and it’s not like there was much to brag about:
UPDATE: An American Carol is such a horrendous bad movie that it made Lorie Boyd physically ill!
A Boyd in hte post is worth Byrd ‘cuz that’s what I actually meant.
Say yeah, boyd!
D-K:
Gotta love that. Their standard for success was “well, the theater was half-full on a weekend daytime showing opening weekend! SUCCESS!”
American Carol should run ads with quotes like “I thought I’d be the only one in the theatre. But there were actually three others (and for about 30 seconds) an usher!”
*TOTALLY BEANS DRAGON-KING WITH A VOLLEYBALL*
[I]GREENMAN![/I]
Haha! Obama will lose because I say so, polls be damned! ASSERTION IS FACT! SUCK IT, LIBS!
Maybe I should stop calling it the short list.
You could call it the short bus, maybe.
I love the “artists are lefto-Nazis” and “there are too conservative artists who don’t completely suck” dueling banjos.
I personally love the belief that Hollywood executives give a FUCK about anything but money.
Doesn’t the Greenman die in the fall? Sorry, dude.
You could call it the short bus, maybe.
And so it shall be. Many thanks.
Wow! GREENMAN!’s aim is hte awesum. I have no comeback to being hit in the face with a volleyball. I surrender to his superior argumenterations. But please, for future volleyball beanings – please provide video.
No. GREENMAN!:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/36777/its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia-america’s-next-top-paddy’s-billboard-model-contest#s-p1-so-i0
Thank you for making Lorie Byrd even more famous. Too bad you don’t listen to her.
Thank you for making Lorie Byrd even more famous.
Wuh?
Your definition of “famous” is sadlarious.
Let’s try to make jGuck more famous (click on Dragon-King Wangchuck’s link at 19:00 and go to comments). jGuck’s got potential.
Wuh?
Yeah, no kidding; didn’t the races to the poles do that? People always forget the poles.
Shorter LaMedusa: “Hi, I’m Lorie Byrd!”
They could have just “misplaced” a decimal point, which would have put An American Carol at 34 million, the #1 position for the weekend.
By doing so, the evil Hollywood liberals would have denied themselves a hit, thus furthering the agenda of those moneygrubbing moneygubbers.
Erf.
201 comments and no poop jokes?
201 comments and no poop jokes?
And why beholdest thou the tiny turd that is not in thy brother’s comment, but considerest not the great steaming loaf that is not in thine own comment?
Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s got an oozing sense of entitlement. Dude, where’s my recession? The media are in the bag for Obama.
201 comments and no poop jokes?
The initial subject of the post is, herself, a poop joke. Does that count?
We cut the poop jokes in order to pay for the troll credits.
It’s a number twofer, PeeJ.
I am reading emails from readers and fellow bloggers who are worried that this might be our last free election if Obama is elected. It sounds a little extreme and over the top, but when I read their reasons for feeling that way it makes too much
sensePOOP.Ask and ye shall receive, they say.
Hey, and it’s even corny!
Geez, after all the Shit Moat shit, you’d think that the hunger for feces would have been sated. Anyways, it’s constitutionally and morally wrong to say anything bad about a thread with this comment from Jennifer in it:
I mean come on. I’m not into fellers either but getting my PENIS wired with sensors and doodads and then watching two guys getting it on? In the name of SCIENCE! That is fucking hawt.
Check out LaMedusa’s list of Current Communist Goals.
First on the agenda:
It seems to me that the anti-communist position, then, would be ATOMIC WAR NOW!
Possibly also ATOMIC WAR ALWAYS! It’s always the radicals who talk about permanent evolution.
What is it, I often wonder, that makes the moonbats compusively obsess about teh buttseks? – PeeJ
IME there are two groups of wingnuts:
(1) those that are closet cases who obsess about teh ghey sex because they really, really want it, but due to their religious commitments, they feel the only acceptable sex is PIV missionary position hetero-sex. Teh Buttseks is the only kind of gay sex they can imagine because it is closest to what they know of as teh seks.
(2) those who are perfectly hetero, but are so, so misogynistic that, at some level, they wish they were gay because then they wouldn’t have to have sex with those icky, icky women. but since they aren’t gay, they feel no-one should be allowed to be gay. And since they can only imagine sex according to their dull, plain vanilla PIV sex-lives (not to knock that … a lot can be said for vanilla!), all they can conceptualize male gay sex as being is teh buttseks.
those who are perfectly hetero, but are so, so misogynistic that, at some level, they wish they were gay because then they wouldn’t have to have sex with those icky, icky women.
This also allows the possibility that they are also deathly scared of gays because they might find out that they will NOT be the top in such a relationship…
getting my PENIS wired with sensors and doodads and then watching two guys getting it on? In the name of SCIENCE! That is fucking hawt.
Sheesh. Putting it that way almost makes we wish I were straight.
We are pleased to report that the Dow is up to 9800.
Well PeeJ, to be fair – most of us straight guys only use electronics on schlongs while watching gay porn in very rare circumstances. No more than once or twice a day.
Hey wait — I thought WE were the “moonbats.”
No new thread yet?
Don’t make me break out the limericks.
And in the great tradition of Republican hate rallies:
From WaPo.com, Palin tries to connect Obama with Ayers>.”
LaMedusa’s list has my absolute favoritest preamble
That’s all well and good, but you can’t trust LaMedusa. She’s a communist. Also she blows goats. The following list was typed up, just now. Prove it isn’t true:
1. LaMedusa is a communist.
2. LaMedusa blows goats.
3. PENIS
electronics on schlongs while watching gay porn in very rare circumstances
Those are electrodes! I’m administering aversion therapy! Honest!
Don’t breach the protocols or everyone must be spanked.
Electrodes on schlongs are hot,
Palin’s statements on bears are not.
It is a mistake
For McCain to fake
He is not a malfunctioning bot.
I have no excuse other than a bad cold.
More LaMedusa preamble:
Well, no I don’t. But since it’s all part of the conspiracy to destroy the United States of America, I had to look it up. Feast your eyes and despair at communist sculpture. If you don’t see the danger inherent in Five Rudders or Tropical Tree III, then you are obviously brainwashed by the secret communist cabal.
Why is it when the tiresome trolls start getting listed here, I never make the cut?
(sigh)…………who do I have to blow here to get at least an honorable mention?
Seussian name of the day: B.M. Bim-Bad
Me!! ME!!
Sure that’s a man-on-man flick,
And that there’s wires attached to my dick.
But I much prefer it
To that American Carol shit
So bad it even made Lorie Byrd sick.
Why do MSNBC and CNN find it necessary to cover the Palindrone’s every move? There she was this morning, live at a rally in Fla. on one channel, so I flip to the other. There she is again. Shrieking, I flip to C-Span — and there’s Peggy Noonan!! The horror! Now I’m afraid to turn the TV back on.
When I think of the psych classes I had to take I can’t fit “Here’s a cool, cheap, way to diagnose impotence” into any of them. I just know I no longer look at postage stamps the same way.
Mary Roach adds:
Oh shizzle! Nekked Ladies on the Lawn!!!111!!!
Personally, I blame the Communists.
From LaMedusa link I learn the list comes from Cleon Skousen’s The Naked Communist. Don’t miss the image of the actual Naked Communist on the cover. I also learn it was entered into the Congressional Record in 1963 by Rep. Albert Herlong of Florida. Another victory for Florida craziness.
Yikes!!1!!!
Symbolist representation of the destruction of the overarching superstructure of the capitalist means of production on the Lawn!!!11!1!!
Personally, I blame the Mensheviks.
Nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT) stamp test.
Bullshit. What about waking up and finding out that your PENIS has been mailed to Wasilla or Ketchikan or some other tiny hellhole. Putting stamps on your dick is just asking for trouble.
stryx – Is that a Gaston Lachaise? I have a photo of the Ho and I being rude with a Lachaise sculpture; in the sculpture garden on the mall, iirc. If only Hill and Bill had invited US to the WH…..
There was that experiment a few years back, where young communist men were first asked to rank themselves in terms of their class consciousness, and then had electronic gadgets hooked up to their junk and were shown The Fountainhead. Sure enough, the ones who had already defined themselves as extremely anti-capitalistic were the ones who got turned on.
We kin haz new tread now? Plz?
Do naked communists’ lil comrades slant to the left when at attention?
In consolidating his iron grip on culture, Stalin airbrushed the genitalia in gay porn down to the level of the ordinary working man.
Twentieth Century American Sculpture at the White House
D-KW started it. From the link:
No risks? What about this:
No boxers? No way.
Oh BTW, in case the “…nih.gov” made you think otherwise, “Nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT) stamp test” link very slightly NSFW (there’s an illustration on how to put stamps on your dick. Also, as a clear example of government ineptitude, illustration is not wearing brief-type undershorts.
how to put stamps on your dick.
That may be the funniest sentence I’ve read this year.
1- Get a box
2- Put your junk the box
3- Put stamps on the box
4-….Profit!!!!
Stamps on your dick are not generally worth much; you also need the first-day postmark.
I’m beginning to understand the Stampin’ Up craze.
I was imagining it like getting your hand stamped when you go in a nightclub.
Actually, I’m pretty sure there’s a Rule 34 alert here somewhere.
Franking machines and foreskins are a bad combination.
Ixney on the oreskinfey talk.
We don’t want a phlamephest over philately and phoreskins.
How about a palimpsestic phoreskin philatety phlamephest?
Phreakin’ Phantastic!
Let me show you my chromatophoreskin.
Phoolish phlounder.
You can read the details for yourself but it has something to do with Obama kicking Oxycontin Rush off the airwaves so that he can declare himself dictator-for-life with the complicity of nine new Supreme Court justices that Obama somehow or other appointed on Inauguration Day.
Well, Adams had his Midnight judges. It’s dark at midnight. Black, even. Just like Obama.
Think about it…