Damn Aliens!
No rant shall be ruined by the mere inconvenience of facts:
Here’s some factual information. In 2000, 85% of the candidates endorsed by the NRA won their elections. In 2002, that rose to 89%. And in 2004% after a marvelous cover story on George Soros and the other anti-American aliens who seek to overthrow this nation’s Constitution, the total rose to 95%.
My fellow astronauts:
Soros, who emigrated from Hungary in 1956 and later became a naturalized U.S. citizen[.]
And so it goes:
Young and old women, little boys or anyone else that the leftist lawyers know to be taxpayer subsidized repeat customers are of no interest to the pro-criminal left, any more than alien terrorists are to be met with anything stronger than appeasement and consent.
The amazing thing about that sentence is that it makes just as much sense regardless of the order in which you put the words. Try it at home!
No wonder the leftists hate George W. Bush. His foreign and domestic policies are just so logical and consistent. There is good and evil in the world. And if the evil bastards attack and want to take innocent lives, kill the sons of bitches.
The world’s a beautiful thing when you can reduce it to a few meaningless sentences. All this wanking is enough to make us miss the good old days when we had Stanton Carlisle to kick around.
“Maybe you don’t much like the overt Democrat racism against Rice, Gonzales and Thomas.”
“Stupid” ain’t got no race, bub.
“Maybe you don’t think much of the leftist Democrat positions on federal spending, UN appeasement or the absolute destruction of American families, morals and taxpayer funded education, health care or anything else Big Left has mucked up over the last several decades.
Uuuh, the last time I checked, it was the World Net Daily crowd who wanted the “absolute destruction” of “taxpayer funded education.”
Or, as James Perloff sang on his World Net Daily-approved album:
“We’ll educate our kids at home
Until the day they’re fully grown
When someone asks our reasons why
We’re always glad to clarify
We want them sharin’ our own faith
And in a place we know they’re safe
Instead of violence and drugs
They’ll get high on prayer and hugs
Home School!
It’s totally cool!
Home School!
Where families rule!”
Here’s another choice bit:
“No wonder the leftists hate George W. Bush. His foreign and domestic policies are just so logical and consistent.”
I dunno about logical (amending the Constitution over gay marriage, free Viagra for seniors, tax cuts for the rich during a time of war), but they consistently suck.
Logical and consistent. Riiiiiight.
This guy would fail to see the gray area at a seniors-only nudist colony.
I should also point out that if this column’s logic was correct (i.e., the NRA are the new king-makers in American politics), we’d be talking about President Howard Dean right now (“A” rating from the NRA in his stint as governor).
For more fun (and a higher Limbaugh talking point-to-text density than I’ve ever seen), you might check out thedumbdemocrat.blogspot.com.
Fair warning, the owner (“Ted”) when he’s not posting Amazon reviews on divorce books, tends to spam people with his posts.
I was especially worried when he talked about how liberals want to keep criminals “out of fail”.
Then I started bleeding from the ears trying to figure what the hell that meant.
suburbanrefugee-
Good catch, I missed that. I also liked this:
“Street rape is not on the Democrat domestic violence agenda except to the extent that it supports their abortion arguments…”
Yeah, I always start a pro-choice speech with a street-rape anecdote…
No wonder the leftists hate George W. Bush. His foreign and domestic policies are just so logical and consistent. There is good and evil in the world. And if the evil bastards attack and want to take innocent lives, kill the sons of bitches.
But, if in the course of killing the sons of bitches, you attack and take innocent lives (such as, oh, about 100,000 Iraqis who had nothing to do with Sept. 11th), doesn’t that make you one of the evil bastards?
Does that mean the wingnuts will start killing themselves? Please God, say it’s true…
Yeah, whatever happened to good, old Stanton Carlisle? I miss him!
But this new guy, “Smith,” seems pretty entertaining, I have to admit.
George Soros is a real weirdo. Have you ever tried to read any of his books?
Actually, what’s hilarious is that the NRA’s endorsement has been a kiss of death for candidates, except in the darkest regions of dumfukistan.
‘alien terrorists’?
Great, as if Islamic terrorists weren’t enough, now we’ve got to worry about Klingons, Predators, and Cylons as well.
For “anti-American aliens”, read “Jews”.
Great, as if Islamic terrorists weren’t enough, now we’ve got to worry about Klingons, Predators, and Cylons as well.
You forgot Kang and Kodos.
Ouch, my brain hurts. I think I may have reached the end of that article, but then I woke up naked in a neighbor’s toolshed, gibbering something about Cthulhu and covered in cat hair. Still, it’s good to know that the NRA exists mainly to keep alien lefty rapists (and “proxy rapists,” whatever they are) off the streets. I trust we’ll be reading more from Mr Smith in future, and that he has no trouble getting his Whitehouse press badge.
Yip, more here.
Leftist Democrats Oppose Voting Rights …and Always Have
And from our dear friends at CNS News on Soros:
Conservative commentator Armstrong Williams, an authority on Christian values, said Soros wants to destroy the values on which the United States was founded. Williams called Soros “morally bankrupt” and he wants the U.S. Justice Department to investigate his contributions.
So, by their own definition, “conservative values” includes whoring yourself to the government, and that’s the highest ambition… fun.
Actually, what’s hilarious is that the NRA’s endorsement has been a kiss of death for candidates
The NRA represents mostly rednecks, so their endorsement doesn’t mean much outside of places like Wyoming and Alabama.
Only a homunculus with pretensions could manage a bile choked cry of pride in having Red State Roots! Also, since when does Hillary have a “lifetime of stated leftist positions”? The Senator from NY began life as a Republican in a Republican family. Her conversion happened during her days in college. That belies his accusatory “lifetime” dontchyathink?
Also, what’s with this strange category of “American civilian population”. I am quiveringly curious about the sudden emergence of this category. Damn! Did the Redneckboy think up this category all on his own? How revealing. Smith, your putta fascista unconscious is showing!