Some of My Best Friends Are Hairdressers
at your next party
When earlier this morning I read a Glen “InstaHayseed” Reynolds post praising someone for being “progressive,” I figured that something must be terribly amiss. Perhaps one of the Ole Perfesser’s underpaid and harassed research assistants had swiped the password to Instapundit and was engaged in a little payback. But then, upon rereading the post, I saw that Reynolds had set the bar for “progressive” so low that even K-Lo could leap over it without a trampoline assist:
SARAH PALIN ON HER GAY FRIEND: “She is not my ‘gay’ friend, she is one of my best friends.” Funny that she … get[s] so little credit from the gay community for what have actually been quite progressive attitudes.
Sarah can go to a church that “prays away the gay,” can have a snit over a copies of “Pastor, I’m Gay!” and “Daddy’s Roommate” in the Wasilla Coloring Book Warehouse Library, can be opposed to state benefits for same-sex partners of state employees, but still be “progressive” about gays if she can rustle up one lesbian friend somewhere. You probably won’t be shocked when I tell you that there are more lesbians in Alaska than sled dogs
Using this standard, you might say that Sarah is “progressive” because she’s opposed to shooting gays from airplanes.
Progressive. Heh indeedy.
Progressing to President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.
Not actually waving a placard that says “God Hates Fags” *is* progressive to these people.
stryx – electrolytes are what plants crave.
Do we KNOW that she opposes shooting gays from airplanes?
She’s been vague on her position on this important issue.
Doesn’t the current VP shoot old lawyers in the face from airplanes?
Admit that Palin is the real feminist progressive, or I leave you to your . . . moosey fate.
She can’t even name the Supreme Court case that permits shooting gays from airplanes.
Wait, the “some of my best friends…” line is actually used with the full expectation that it’ll be taken seriously? What year is this?!
I think Dr. Mrs. Ole Perf needs to change Glennbot’s metallic diaper. He’s been a bit cranky in recent days.
It’s like Reynolds is a moron or something.
Hmmmm. As a sometime Alaskan, I’d like to point out a couple things.
1. Actually, there are more sled dogs than lesbians.
2. During the winter, ahem, as Bristol Palin can testify, it’s cold and dark. After enough vodka, the gender of the person you are making out with doesn’t matter so much. You’ve heard of college lesbians, right? Well, some significant portion of the AK population is ice-fog gay.
3. During the winter, sled dogs count. They are warm and furry and after enough vodka…
4. Yes, there are more men than women in AK. The odds are good but the good are odd, as they say. (I’m not sure what this has to do with anything but it’s a good line.)
5. I’ve met gay gold miners, gay moose hunters, gay soldiers, gay professors, gay mayors, and gay truck drivers but no lesbian hair dressers. As a rule, and I’m not quite sure why this is, but lesbians in AK tend to operate large machinery. Lesbian bars tend to be full of tow truck drivers, grader operators, crane operators, and generator repair ladies.
It’s like the conservative Bush fan I used to
try to beat some sense intodebate, who claimed that Bush was actually very moderate and never got a break from the Left. Pressed to give an example, he said, “he’s in favor of funding the fight against AIDS in Africa.”Oh HO! So being a progressive is s simple matter of not being in favor of millions of children dying of a horrible, wasting disease, or their parents dying of same!
Simple, really.
Why, some of my best friends are conservatives!
…..Actually, that’s a bare-faced lie.
Lesbian bars tend to be full of tow truck drivers, grader operators, crane operators, and generator repair ladies.
And helicopter pilots.
Yeah, okay, it’s a fact that 50% of all helicopter pilots are all lesbians.
Oh, and there are more bears than sled dogs in AK:
http://www.tlfmc.com/arcticheat/index.htm
Am I the only one who thinks the “Vagina Cheney” is giving her way to much credit?
Also, Valerie is full of win.
Ooh, I know this one! 1929.
Glenn messed up the title- shouldn’t he try not to undermine Palin? Shouldn’t it be “Sarah Palin’s Friend of Equal Status to Her Other Friends, Who Happens to be Gay, Not that Sarah Palin Thinks There’s Anything Wrong With That.”
I know you meant well but there ain’t no way KLo could clear that bar even with a trampoline.
I am pretty skeptical that a church that “prays away the gay” would have it’s members be so sanguine about their best friends.
If this mythical lady steps forward, and confirms that Palin expressed the usual horror over the state of her soul, then I’ll believe it.
This is an ancient wingnut standard. For years I’ve heard republican women talk about their gay friends in the same breath they would use to gasp at gay teahcers, gay soldiers or gay marriage. Sure, they’re “friends” they just don’t want their “friends” to have the same rights they do.
Now that’s progressive we can believe in.
And yes, it should have been “its”, I know!
I blame the cold medicine. I didn’t know my laptop qualified as “heavy machinery.”
Glen dearie,
Luuuvvv the pic, dahling. But isn’t that your ex? I heard you had hooked a butchy-butchy-butchy-butch moose of a husband! Hung like a moose, so they say.
Let’s do brunch sometime.
That’s the greatest picture in history.
Dan Savage on Sarah Palin’s Gay Friend (including interview!):
http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/10/meet_sarah_palins_gay_friend
http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/10/meet_sarah_palins_gay_friend_1
I can see a gay from my house!
Dragon King’s links are tragically funny. This little nugget from Savage’s exchange with Miss Alaska’s gay friend:
Get new dentures, Barney.
Wait, the “some of my best friends…” line is actually used with the full expectation that it’ll be taken seriously? What year is this?!
Well, no – you’ll notice she said friend, singular (and, judging by the company this person keeps, presumably single).
An open letter to Sarah Palin’s Gay Friend
Crawl back into your slimey log cabin and stay there.
sincerely,
Gay America
God, I can’t even think of good snark for this crap. Is it the smug self-congratulation for not physically or verbally attacking an individual who isn’t exactly like oneself? The strong suspicion that “friend” is being used to describe a very casual relationship? Perhaps it is the distinct possibility that the stupid bastard who talks about his [fill in the blank friend] really means “I love this person despite the fact he is icky and gross and will burn in hell and I wouldn’t leave him alone with my children/car/silverware! Wheeee! That’s 50,000 Celestial Brownie points for me!”
I don’t know what it is but it pisses me the hell off and I don’t talk to anyone who has “[Fill in the blank] friends.” I don’t want to get added to the collection.
And then this bunghole comes along and seems to take some vicarious pride in the fact that he knows of someone who will admit that she is friends with a person who is not str8. I guess that leaves him free to jump up and run screaming if he is confronted with the dreaded ghey.
“It’s OK,” he’ll say. “I voted for Sarah Palin and she has a gay friend for me.”
Yeah well if Barney Frank would just put his teeth in when going on national TV that would help.
This is all an argument over nothing: Palin was actually referring to her grey friend.
Using this standard, you might say that Sarah is “progressive” because she’s opposed to shooting gays from airplanes.
Well at least that makes her more progressive than Michelle Bachman.
I hear that Sarah Palin likes mooseburger. Is that anything like camel toe?
> It’s like the conservative Bush fan I used to try to beat some sense into debate, who claimed that Bush was actually very moderate and never got a break from the Left. Pressed to give an example, he said, “he’s in favor of funding the fight against AIDS in Africa.”
The only reason chimp wanted that is that a significant part of the money would end up in Big Pharma’s pocket. It was mandated to be spent on prescriptions filled by Roche, Pfizer, etc.
Now you know the “Rest Of The Story”
“The gay community” is an unbearable phrase.
I suspect that Insta is thinking “gay people” as in “so few gay people give her credit” but this is so obviously weird (how would he know the opinions en masse of a subculture he is not part of?) that he has to invoke an abstraction so he can palm off his daydream-facts.
Update: McCain stock continues to dive. Latest Intrade 33.0 down 2.6
Obama 67.1 up 2.4 Since yesterday.
Also, their map now shows solid blue in PA, MI. 14 points up in FL and OH
Obama 353 elctoral votes, McCain 185. I don’t recall yesterday’s numbers offhand but that’s a gain for the O-man.
In other news, the Senate passing the BOHICA bill seems to be working its wonders on Wall St.
Not.
Is it rearing its head?
Funny that she and John McCain get so little credit from the gay community…
Glen honey, your sense of humor is non-operational. There’s nothing funny about that. Let me help you out with understanding funny.
Sarah Palin trying to be VeePish. That’s funny.
You demonstrating once again that you have shit for brains. That’s sort of funny. It’s tiring though, very wearisome indeed.
A picture of you buttfucking an emu. Hysterical.
No don’t thank me, I’m delighted to be of help.
Tata dahling.
Is it rearing its head?
Um, head is generally understood to mean an activity NOT invovling the rear. There’s books about this that can read if you want to know more.
argh. “That YOU can read…”
Hey! Some of my best friends are disgusting perverts who will burn in hellfire for eternity and don’t deserve rights or children or opinions and should go to prison for having ungodly sex too!
Oh, anyone in San Francisco on Saturday, or Chicago on Sunday, might consider this or this as an entertaining diversion.
These are the guys behind Frozen Grand Central, perhaps the most awesome thing ever. A good time should be had by all.
RB! I didn’t know we traveled in the same circles.
Fixed.
RB, I’ve always thought of you as a friend.
RB, I’ve always thought of you as a friend.
As you burn in agony I’ll wave to you from heaven.
Where I am in East Lobsterpound, the “gay community” (AFAIK) consists of two old gentlemen for whom I do occasional gardening. They’re diehard Republicans. Haven’t seen them since Palin came on the scene, so I have no clue what they think of her. Hafta go dig out their dahlias for winter storage one day soon. Perhaps I’ll ask. If it’s still relevant at that point.
Palin: Hello my dear Lesbian Friend! How are you today?!
Woman: Look, lady, I don’t know who you are but you need to stop calling me. Seriously, this is stalking. And I already told you, having “Gay” as my last name does *not* actually mean I’m gay.
Palin: Hey, omg! Do you know Ellen?!
Woman: *click*
How much of a self-loathing
lesbianhuman being would you have to have to befriend Sarah Palin?How could you, Clif?! Don’t you know that this man once voted against Harold Ford because of his anti-gay rhetoric? Of course he knows what he’s talking about when he says that Sarah Palin is progressive on gay issues!
/snark
I’m a big fan of straight white folks telling oppressed minorities what they should be grateful for. Not at all demeaning, patronizing, infuriating, or pathetic.
This reminds me of an exchange between junior high/high school classmates of mine. One of them, let’s call her Sally, was an ultra-right born-again Christian (actual quote on a Holocaust survivor who pretended to be Christian to avoid getting killed: “How dare she defile an entire religion like that”), said to Jacob, a Jew (and as close to friends as you can be with someone who thinks that way),
“You know, Jake, you’re such a nice guy. I really hope you see the light because I’d hate to see someone like you go to hell.”
Representative democracy in action!
Bagelsan FTW!
I point you to Sara Benincasa’s video in which her Sarah Palin attempts to pray away the gay of her gay friend.
Some of my best friends are colored/gay people.
So being a progressive is s simple matter of not being in favor of millions of children dying of a horrible, wasting disease, or their parents dying of same!
Yeah, well, unfortunately, that is indeed enough to get you scornfully labeled a “liberal” in many fundamentalist churches. The children are below the age of consent, automatically qualifying them for heaven after their excruciating illness finally kills them, so where’s the harm?
Gay friend?
Don’t forget, Sarah’s a politician and her lesbian “friend” is a potential vote.
You have to give her points for being opposed to aborting gay fetuses, even if conceived via rape.
Some of my best friends are emusexuals!
all your gays are belong to us
chocolatepie, please tell me she at least got drunk on prom night and died in an auto crash on a deserted highway…alone.
I need to believe there’s a happy ending to that story.
In a surpris emove Mrs Palin said that “what I really meant is that shooting Gays from airplanes is wasteful” Gov. Palin could not name three actual airplane types, however said that she “had seen plenty, you know, buzzing around, in the sky. John McCain used to fly one before he got tied to a kitchen table”.
What year is this?!
Her pastor is a witchhunter. He made his name in the church by identifying and persecuting a witch. A witch.
What fucking century is this?
Surgically, maybe…but how does anyone know she doesn’t try to pray them away?