There must be blood
Were I to structure a rescue package for the economy, it would involve locking up the CEOs of failed financial firms in pillory stocks and letting Americans hurl rotten vegetables and feces at them for $20 a pop. Assuming all 300 million Americans hurl an average of five tomatoes/crap balls at their least favorite corporate execs, that would raise a total of $300 billion, or nearly half of the money needed to buy up worthless assets. This way, the typical voter could at least get some schadenfreude in exchange for their trouble. I call this the Brad Righteously Pissed-Off Revenge Act of 2008. I think it’s a winner.
UPDATE: Because I can’t do basic arithmetic, I missed a zero somewhere. In other words, my bailout plan would raise only $30 billion.
Jesus Christ, it’s going to take a lot of cash to bail out Big Shitpile. Perhaps after Americans are done with the execs we could take them on a tour of China?
We would need to build many shit moats to supply that many crap balls.
I’d pay $40 a pop. Just sayin’.
I think you’ve found the solution. Also, this could replace the next Farm Bill.
We could hire Amy to handle that, Kid.
Brad for President!
P.S. You could raise even more if you opened this to tourists. Just make it an extension of the “I heart NY” guided tour.
[…] at Sadly, No! has an intriguing solution to the financial crisis: Were I to structure a rescue package for the […]
$100 x 300,000,000 = $30,000,000,000 ( alas only thirty billion )
But excellent way to make a down payment!
More awesome: Host it on Halloween and we could throw firecrackers.
Lesley, I think it should be $100 per to …. umm, INSERT those firecrackers….. orifice of your choice.
Jesus Christ, it’s going to take a lot of cash to bail out Big Shitpile. Perhaps after Americans are done with the execs we could take them on a tour of China?
The fact is, in China most of those execs would be executed for what they caused.
Brad, just keep adding zeros to the admission price.
We’ll get to the point where the execs are throwing shitballs at themselves.
Here are my expert* opinions for why it failed:
1. $700Billion is way too much money to spend on something that has no value.
2. If we can spend $700Billion on anything, this would be about the ten-thousandth thing on the list even in a Congress controlled by Wall Street Republicans who wear so many lobbyist logos on their suits that they look like NASCAR drivers.
3. No one could explain how this would work.
4. There were still idiots like Steve Forbes saying the problem was liquidity.
5. There is some twisted vestige of hope on the Republican side that this can all be blamed on the blacks who got mortgages, since that’s the only way they see to avoid losing to Obama.
6. Financial Armageddon actually sounds interesting to the many Americans who don’t get $200K bonuses every year to buy matching Cadillacs and gold watches for their wives and mistresses.
7. Blaming each other is so much fun, especially when there’s an election to be held.
8. I still haven’t the foggiest notion how and who and how much would be spent and where, nor to what effect.
*By Palin-logic, I have CNBC on my television, two bank accounts, a credit card, student loan payments, a bankruptcy, and a subscription to the Wall Street Journal to give me financial experience.
Nah, the China tour wouldn’t work. I don’t think they take US Dollars there anymore.
$100 x 300,000,000 = $30,000,000,000 ( alas only thirty billion )
Wishes cost $0 so add that zero on the end and there you go.
I move to elect Barack Obama by aclamation. All those agree?
Found in fridge: moulding Bavarian Tofu sausages. Add these to the gross veg pile.
No, no, no, we do it like this: put the CEOs in the stocks, call up the first righteously pissed-off American, who is offered a choice of objects to throw at the CEO. A nasty, but more importantly, soft rotten tomato would cost, say, $10K, a rotten, and somewhat harder rotten potato would cost $5K, and a brick would be absolutely free. Now offer the CEO the opportunity to outbid the righteously pissed-off American. Let the market decide.
I also like that old western trick of shooting at feet to make ’em dance.
#
Incognito said,
September 29, 2008 at 22:16
I move to elect Barack Obama by aclamation. All those agree?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080929/ap_on_el_pr/candidates_bailout_1
Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama plans to return to the Senate this week so he can vote for the Wall Street bailout package.
Because it is important to give money to Bush’s friends.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
From Politico:
Oops. Should have closed the blockquote before “We won’t bother…” Them was my words. I apologize for any confusion and or inconvenience. I reject AND denounce it.
Heh.
Apparently, McGrumpyPantload was taking credit for the passage of the bailout bill in a campaign appearance mere moments before it failed.
Meanwhile, Obama was saying stuff like, “Hey! Everybody calm down. Nobody ever said that getting a rescue package through Congress was gonna be easy. This is the US Congress, after all. It may take a bit more time, but something will get done. It’s like landing in Denver. You know you’re ultimately going to come in safely, but it’s never comfortable coming in over those mountains.”
I think Obama probably picked up a bunch more votes with that. And McPOW? “Taps” doesn’t have any lyrics, does it?
Apparently, McGrumpyPantload was taking credit for the passage of the bailout bill in a campaign appearance mere moments before it failed.
Do Republicans give a shit about McCain?
Bella —
I LOVE it!! Now THERE’S a prime time game show that even I would watch!
It just keeps getting better and better. I just read Pelosi’s speech. She specifically called out Barney Frank and Rahm E., while viciously snubbing the Republicans. Did Boehner get the accusation from his teenage daughter?
Pitifuckenful.
And Bella for the win!
BTW, McCain has already spun 180 and blames Obama and the Democrats for the failure (I know, I’m just as shocked as you by this turn of events. Next thing you’ll tell me Jonah Goldberg is really lazy and has some of the stupid ideas ever published. Unpossible!)
Apparently, Pelosi hurt his feelings too.
But you didn’t disavow.
Do you or do you not avow??
Taps does have lyrics.
Fading light dims the sight
And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright
From afar drawing nigh,
Falls the night.
Day is done, gone the sun
From the hills, from the lake, from the sky
All is well, safely rest;
God is nigh.
Then goodnight, peaceful night;
Till the light of the dawn shineth bright.
God is near, do not fear,
Friend, goodnight.
Do you or do you not avow??
his flag pin clearly avows.
I think Obama probably picked up a bunch more votes with that. And McPOW? “Taps” doesn’t have any lyrics, does it?
God is Nigh…
mikey
I move to elect Barack Obama by aclamation. All those agree?
All those in favor say “Arugula”
The Bella challenge:
Now incorporate the elements of the show “Hurl!” somehow, and we’ll get that baby greenlighted!!!
hey mikey, how about
“My Friends, Goodnight.”
Brad, your math may suck, but that 10 percent is change I can believe in.
Do Republicans give a shit about McCain?
Actually, I was thinking more about how the media types are gonna start soiling themselves over the opportunity to cover another massive trainwreck. Not sure WTF Republicans give a shit about, at least the Congressional flavor, and not sure I care anymore.
Was down getting the mail and talking with one of our dyed-in-the-wool Republican-voting neighbors (they’re ALL Repubs on our street except us). He was so happy that the bailout failed. I just said, “Yeah, well, welcome to the Progressive movement,” and walked away quickly before the smoking, grinding rudimentary clockwork in his head could completely seize up and explode.
How about the $700Billion just go straight to the American people on the condition that they put it in publicly-traded investments and can’t cash it in (but can move it around) for at least two years? Wouldn’t this save the deserving and fuck the losers just as easily as anything?
Democracy: it’s not much crazier than making Paulson into the Chief Financial Puppetmaster.
I do not like to disavow. Could I disavow oh, say, a cow? How?
Ow.
But,but,but…how can this be?I just saw a commercial on the teevee that said John McCain rode into Washington and Forged A Consensus.How can the Maverick be wrong?
Meh. Maybe it’s time to go back to barter altogether.
Those stock certificates will eventually regain some value, right around the time we run out of toilet paper.
Bella, I would definitely go for that. How much would it be for a huge bucket of warm dog poop?
I knew we’d have a use for those moats.
Too much information, John.
Wall Street’s top 5 bosses paid $3 billion in last 5 years: Executives oversaw sale of loans that brought banks down
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601109&sid=aGL5l6xOPEHc&refer=home
Shortly before the vote, McCain had bragged about his involvement and mocked Sen. Barack Obama for staying on the sidelines.
And shortly before that, he was saying the economy was just fine and his top financial adviser was telling us we were whiners.
Mustn’t forget any steps! McCain’s blustering has more reversals than Lombard Street.
Once again, the DemocRAT congress leaders have failed to lead this nation. Nancy Pelosi’s far-left taunting is what woke up enough good Republicans to reject the Pelosi plan.
And now due to the lack of leadership from the left, our economy has experienced it’s worst day ever.
Where’s Nancy Pelosi? Where’s Harry Reid? Where’s Barack Obama? Where is the leadership from the Democrat party?
The fact is that the only serious leaders in this race are John McCain and Sarah Palin.
We need a system that will remove bad loans, target people who are defrauding our economy by refusing to pay their loans, and insuring economic recovery.
We will not recover by doing what you all suggest. No society recovers by punishing it’s most successful citizens,
We need to punish the leeches and get our cards back in order.
John McCain rode into Washington and Forged A Consensus.
But the forgery trial won’t start until after the election. Typical.
No society recovers by punishing it’s most successful citizens,
Define success.
atheist said, (two threads ago)
This is just the start of the hoseshit.
Hoseshit is the technical innovation required to bring a shitmoat within the reach of the average citizen.
I bet JiSM III singlehandedly put the kaibosh on this shizzle merely by letting the word “bailout” froth from his senile lips.
I can has 1/20/09 now?
No society recovers by punishing it’s most successful citizens
If they’re being punished then they weren’t feckin successful!
the leaders of these companies were leading due to their financial wisdom and success.
But groups like the Democrat Party and ACORN have caused the decimation of our economy.
Democrats refused to believe there were problems with Fannie and Freddie in 2004. ACORN has been defrauding our economy for years with bad loans. They’re the kind of people who refuse to pay mortgages or take responsibility.
BTW – what’s the latest on Heather Locklear?
Credit cards to ‘implode:’ analyst
https://secure.globeadvisor.com/servlet/ArticleNews/story/RTGAM/20080929/wcreditcards0929
ACORN?
ACORN?
The one True Gary Ruppert has lost his mind
Very peculiar situation. John McCain will eat shit — yay! The Rethugs, though, are the ones who kept this from passing. I’m so confused! And I wonder if I have anything left in my retirement account.
Shortly before the vote, McCain had bragged about his involvement and mocked Sen. Barack Obama for staying on the sidelines.
and shortly before THAT he mocked Barack Obama for grandstanding,
From the tiny ACORN, the mighty credit default swaps and derivatives market grew.
Obama too worried about dry cleaning to save our economy
McCain campaign people might want to consider evacuating. I think he’s about to blow.
McCain: “”Senator Obama and his allies in Congress infused unnecessary partisanship into the process. Now is not the time to fix the blame, it’s time to fix the problem.”
Wow. his disconnect with his own words is staggering.
Put Bush, Cheney, Rice and Powell in the stocks as well, and you’ve got a winner.
John McCain rode into Washington and Forged A Consensus.
Now he’s on the run from the G-men for trying to pass counterfeit consensus.
Now IS the time to fix blame. The Democrats have sunk our economy with their lack of leadership.
Gar, just because you never got invited to ACORN’s $2M Sardinian orgy doesn’t mean you should be hatin’ on them now.
Put dick cheney in a room with Boehner.
After an hour send in Graves Registration to bag up the parts…
mikey
Gary’s a proverbial bop bag.
Knock him down and he pops right back up! http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1042/525349360_145d84bb27.jpg?v=0
Didn’t the house repub leadership want this thing passed? Me thinks the Republican party is having a leadership problem.
Obama was staying in a luxury hotel, campaigning
Umm…..guess what McCain was doing?
Dining at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel
WOERIUWEORIUWOERUOWEIRUWEUROIWERUWER!!!!!!!
Take a step back, wingnuts. A deal will get done. Most likely by this Congress, even.
Take a step back, wingnuts. You’re only deep-sixing your chances with this crap. The deal would have gotten done, but Pelosi hurt some people’s feelings? The deal would have gotten done, but it’s all Obama’s fault? Are you serious with this? Are you for real?
Additionally, shouldn’t fiscal conservatives be happy about this? Or do you just whine about whatever your party masters tell you to whine about?
The Republicans turned down the plan because of the partisan nature of Pelosi.
Okay, Gary, so I’m assuming you wanted the bailout to happen. Here’s a timeline:
Pelosi: Yo, GOP dudes. We need some of you to cross on over in order for this deal to pass.
GOP leadership: You can count on us.
Pelosi: You sure?
GOP leadership: Yeah.
McCain: Yo, GOP dudes. Make sure you all say it was because of me, OK?
GOP leadership: You can count on us.
McCain: You sure?
GOP leadership: Yeah.
Pelosi: Okay, everyone, it’s time to vote on this. Also, Bush sucks.
GOP leadership: WTF THIS SUX I AINT DOIN THIS HURRYCANE GOT MAH CHARCOAL GRILL
And you’re blaming Pelosi, Gary? If the financial sector is so important, why did Republicans let Pelosi’s ‘tude get in the way of saving it?
Or do you just whine about whatever your party masters tell you to whine about?
You know the answer to that one as well as I do, but I hope you manage to needle one into admitting it.
The fact is, TEH FUCHING FERRETS ARE GOING TO EAT all of you liberals. SARAH PALIN IS TRANEING for her debate on Thursday, AND DURING THE DEBATE A POLAR BEAR WILL EAT THE FACES ALL OF THE DEMOCRATIC CONGRESS THAT VOTED FOR THIS socialist bill. If you Marxists admit that you are not real Americans, MCCANE MIGHT STILL ALLOW PALIN TO NEGOTIATE WITH THE FERRETS AND SAVE YOUR FACES. THE RANTOUL ILLINOS PRESS has a liberal bias and still has not reported that JOE BIDAN WILL HAVE TO KILL OBAMA WITH A MOOSE FEMUR IN ORDER TO APPEASE TEH FUCHING FERRETS.
Assuming all 300 million Americans hurl an average of five tomatoes/crap balls at their least favorite corporate execs, that would raise a total of $300 billion
Um, no.
5 x 20 x 300 million
= 100 x 300 million
= 30 billion
Still substatial, but not 300 billion.
Not that I’m against the plan — I’d favor it even if it lost money.
Um, no.
Hence, the update and the several comments above about it.
Hey Brad – you’re really searching for solutions, there’s a fine suggestion over at d r i f t g l a s s.
Just thought I should mention it. Worth the read. No, I am not Driftglass.
Now IS the time to fix blame. The Democrats have sunk our economy with their lack of leadership.
How does the entire nutosphere fixate on some fetishistic buzzword every fucking day? How exactly was ‘leadership’ supposed to fix this? The notion that McCain demonstrated leadership is entirely laughable, but the more ridiculous thing is the notion that ‘leadership’ is what counted in the first place. Some goddamn reasonable POLICIES would have been nice. A few grownups in the regulatory agencies might have helped. A president that wasn’t a mendacious asshat sure could be great. But just masturbating over the word ‘leadership’ for a day doesn’t do anyone any good at all. Leadership doesn’t matter if you don’t have any ideas that are worth our time and money, morans.
Paging kenga! Paging kenga!
Just sent you an e-mail. My Mister is in need of computer advice. Could really use your help.
My Mister is in need of computer advice.
Use a hammer. The low tech solutions are usually best.
How exactly was ‘leadership’ supposed to fix this?
The same way that raw will, expressed by a majority-Republican Congress, makes us safer from terrorist attacks.
It’s a goddam cargo cult.
That driftglass plan is really fucking smart.
The fact is SHUT UP.
Put dick cheney in a room with Boehner.
I thought he had a boner in any room he happens to occupy.
Ufghfufghf. Sorry.
China? Why export a much needed source of protien?
There’s something I associate with Eisenhower… the idea that if you’re eager to claim credit for a plan, you should also be willing to accept the blame if it doesn’t work.
I don’t know what brings this to mind right now.
Loneoak, responding or reacting to those who are typing from insane asylums is a waste of time.
Use a hammer. The low tech solutions are usually best.
Awww, now, stryx, don’t you want Gavin to post more than he currently is (~1/week)?
1) Apply hammer to willful, disobedient computer.
2) New computer behaves, if it knows what’s good for it.
3) Y’all have like 100 years of geek power here and mad love for Gav’s skillz. Crowdsource it.
mikey said,
Put dick cheney in a room with Boehner.
After an hour send in Graves Registration to bag up the parts…
Cheney v. Boehner? I’d say more like send in the bus staff to clear the plates and to give Cheney a napkin and a toothpick.
stryx, are you suggesting I crowdsource the asking for advice, or that I pass the hat on Gav’s behalf to get him a new, less willful machine?
<i<#
Doctor Missus Marita said,
September 29, 2008 at 23:48
Paging kenga! Paging kenga!
Just sent you an e-mail. My Mister is in need of computer advice. Could really use your help.
Two words.
Hardy Heron.
Rock on…
mikey
Doctor Missus Marita —
Windoze, I presume? Blista or Xtra Putrid?
Heya Mikey,
You know I love you (I hope you know that), but could you maybe give me two more words that would actually, um… mean something to me?
Aint he got one’a dem dere Macintooter thangies?
Sorry, caint help. ‘Cept ta say, mikey @ 0:08
Ruh roh. Ize in trouble now!
He wuz just suggesting a move to Linux. specifically, Ubuntu.
The problem is a hardware problem, and unfortunately, may also be a problem with the repair shop that the computer is at. As the problem is ongoing, and becoming more expensive, we’re trying to figure out the best way to proceed, assuming the computer isn’t fixed tomorrow, like the repair guy has suggested it may or may not be.
We’re not really computer people, so we’re looking for someone who can give advice, when filled in with the details…
Am I out of the shit yet?
So far, all I have seen in coverage are nameless references to greedy and reckless millionaire assholes. Is there a dartboard anywhere with some actual names and faces on it? “Lachlan d’Winter le’Strange, ex CEO of investment firm X pissed Y billion of dollars up a wall and took Z billion of your money in the bailout, walking away with 15 million bonus”.
Start up a publication (working title “billionaire assholes”- I’m sure the creative minds of SN could do better) and you could open up a new avenue for the paparazzi to apply their powers more constructively. They are the closest thing we have to pillory stocks these days, no? Meanwhile, use profit from sales to support struggling mortgagees and credit cards slaves.
No, I haven’t woken up yet.
That’s different. I’m a computer engineer, too.
How do you know it’s a HW problem?
Tell me EVERYTHING. vmweenie_98 AT yahoo DOT com
PeeJ – I’m the one with a mac. Gav has a PC.
[…] I’m in full support of the Brad Act. […]
OK PeeJ,
I’m in the middle of typing it all up (and trying to decide whether to just post it on here and bore everyone or not). I’ll fire it off to you (at the least) when I finish typing. It may take a little bit…
DMM, I was thinking of using the amalgamated brain power here to try to troubleshoot Gav’s, um, “problem.”
I can’t decide for you if you want to send out a call for the Bears and Pumas Memorial Technology Fund.
Personally, I’d ask that guy from the American Milk Solids Council if that kind of thing works.
Doctor Missus Marissa – if you got skype, call pj.bradshaw If nothing else, I can probably point you in the right direction.
And to WordPress, posting too quickly eh? Why do you hate Doctor Missus and Gvin so much?
$20? You’ve underestimated market demand my friend. I’d be in for $2K. That’d be a once in a lifetime spiritual investment opportunity!
Just take the two hundred and fifty richest individuals in the US, put them up against the wall and threaten to shoot them unless they sign over all their wealth except for a few hundred million and you will raise the money to pay for this bailout without “taxing” anyone else.
great – I have time for a smoke…..
You think the congressional republicans are gonna say “Fuck McLame” and start worrying about their own careers?
Republicans are scared shitless of the voters now, aren’t they?
“John McCain understands that had he looked like he was going to be the key to the success, that . They were not going to let John McCain do the job that he was trying to do: deliver a bill that would help the American people.”
“John McCain understood that had he kept a low profile, talked with members of Congress as he did, asked them where they were in their votes, called those members who were reluctant. He was doing his job, and doing it with a low profile [that was] necessary,” Holtz-Eakin added.
Holtz-Eakin told MSNBC that Obama was “phoning it in” instead of working hard on a rescue. “Where was Barack Obama for today?” Holtz-Eakin said. “He’s phoning it in — phoning it in — one more time.”
You know, this is Comedy Gold!
I was asking for a provision where every executive from a bailed out company would be branded “Bailout” across their forehead, and for the rest of their lives any american could present them with a copy of their 1040’s, at which point the executive would appologize profusely and earnestly, spread their legs, and recieve one kick in the jimmies from the American taxpayer.
I didn’t even think of charging money for it, but it would probably work.
I’m rarely correct in my predictions, but I sensed there was no deal and this, along with the nursery rhythm Humpty Dumpty, that says, “All the kings horses and all the king’s men, couldn’t put Humpty together again,” inspired this song:
Everything is Fallin’ Apart
Dr BLT
words and music by Dr BLT copyright 2008
http://www.drblt.net/music/EveryThingIsDemo2.mp3
This is from the album, Lipstick: Soundtrack for the Presidential Election 2008. Stay “tuned” at:
http://www.drblt.net
The Craptacular Saga of Doctor Missus’ Mister’s Laptop
*computer (laptop) was dropped, only about a foot, onto its corner onto a carpet surface. This was probably three months ago. Something rattled around inside computer, but didn’t seem to affect anything.
*two weeks ago, computer stopped taking up charge, even when plugged in. The cord is fine – the little box in the middle of the adapter has a green light, like it does when it’s plugged in and happy, but that power isn’t getting to the computer. The little box, which normally gets warm when the computer is drawing power from it, does not get warm at all. The icons on the computer do not reflect the computer being plugged in.
*at some point, the computer goes dead and won’t come back on. Gav assumes this is a problem with the power and the battery not charging, but isn’t sure. He opens up the computer, but can’t find any immediately obvious problem, although he does find a small metal piece that is loose and has been rattling around. He removes this.
* he calls Gateway who offer to (and do) send him a new battery. Beyond that, he’d have to ship it to them. Since he needs his computer fixed sooner than this, he explores other options.
* After finding a very long repair wait at MicroCenter, Gav calls a place in Davis Square with a not-so-impressive website. The guy on the phone sounds like he knows what he’s talking about though, so Gav takes his computer in.
* The guy looks at his computer, and says the plug where the AC adapter came in looks burnt. He thinks there may also be a problem with the motherboard, given the loose piece rattling around. This is on Thursday, Sept 18. He tells Gav he’ll be in touch Friday or Saturday.
* Having heard nothing from the repair guy, Gav calls on Saturday morning and leaves a message. No response. I should mention that Gavin is freelancing, and not having his computer=not making money. Monday he still hasn’t heard anything, and leaves several more messages. Tuesday at noon he still hadn’t heard anything, so he heads to Davis Square. Guy is there, tells him he was laid up in bed all weekend, and will get back to him shortly.
* Wednesday, Gav calls in and the guy tells him the motherboard is fried. He says he can’t find one from one of his regular sources for less than $375.
*Gav and I go online and find many sources for that motherboard for less than $375 and send him the links. He says he hasn’t dealt with any of these places, and said that Gav should order one of those if he wants, get it delivered to our house, and bring it in when it gets here. We order from here:
pcpartsohio.com/gateway_detail.aspx?item_id=489
*Today, the part came in and Gav took it to the store. The supplier’s site says New / OEM system pull – but the computer repair guy tells Gavin that the part isn’t new, but used, and that the serial number(s) have been peeled off and replaced. Still, he thinks it’s ok, and tells Gav to call back this afternoon.
* Gav calls back, and the guy tells him that the new motherboard isn’t working. Says the new motherboard might be broken.
(questions to follow)
So many possible “Bella Variations” …
* stakes, rope, anthill —> bidding war on honey-jar
* trawler, rope, sonar to locate sharks —> bidding war on raw steaks
* stake, rope, bear-cave in springtime —> bidding war on pheromone-spray
* stakes, rope, football-field —> bidding-war on lawn-darts
* sturdy fence, cuffs —> bidding-war on stallion in heat
* rope, fence of maximum-security prison —> bidding-war on Vaseline
… hmm, seems to be a theme here …
Not passing the bill means we live to fight another day. So, great. We live to fight.
SPARTAAA!
So now the questions:
* What was the likely cause(s) of the trouble in the first place?
* Does the repair guy sound like he knows what he’s doing?
* Did the company just send us a shitty motherboard?
* How should we proceed, assuming the guy doesn’t have the computer fixed and ready to go for Gavin tomorrow?
Thoughts? Ideas?
This is all getting very expensive. We’re newlyweds. Have pity on us.
The fact is, you liberals will be sorry you waged classwar against our most productive citizens. You will loose everything, all just to get Obama elected.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
September 30, 2008 at 0:34
The Craptacular Saga of Doctor Missus’ Mister’s Laptop
This reminds me of the stock market somehow.
dr missus marita:
how new is this laptop? it sounds like this jackass is taking you for a ride.
The laptop was purchased early this year, either February or March. Probably February.
If the guy is taking us for a ride, how do we retrieve the laptop without paying him? Is that even possible? What should we do with it next?
In fairness, as of this morning, his labor charges weren’t very expensive (this morning he told Gav $120 including motherboard installation), so he’s not really making much money off of us. I mean, assuming he’s not being totally evil and reselling perfectly good motherboards…
Let’s look at the upside here.
For the first time in a very, very, very long time, the Democrats did not allow the Republicans to make them own the Republicans’ failure.
My boss walked in the office today, just a few minutes after the bill failed, and said “the bailout bill just failed, what happened?” Without even having to go online and read about it, I said, “The Republicans voted against it in an attempt to make the Democrats the bad guys who passed a huge bailout that people absolutely hate so they could beat them over the head from now until the election. Apparently enough Democrats wised up and told the Republicans to go fuck themselves. And here we are.”
Sure enough, I log on and within minutes I’m looking at the roll call showing that’s exactly what happened.
Here’s the good news in this huge pile of shit: the Democrats now have the justification to put forward a much better and ultimately much cheaper for the taxpayer nationalization plan and enough votes in the House to pass it without any Republican help. The Senate…well, no telling what happens there, and if it got over that hurdle, it’s likely Bush would veto. But all the while, the market would be continuing to tank. There’s a real opportunity for a much better bill in terms of taxpayer interests being put forward and moved at least partway down the field with no Republican assist…which is the way to make them truly own their failure.
Okay.
*computer (laptop) was dropped,…
Someday remind me to tell about Apple (twenty some years ago) actually instucting people to “lift the computer about 12” above a hard surface and drop it. No shit.
In your case, I suspect what happened was…
<emtwo weeks ago, computer stopped taking up charge…has a green light, … does not get warm at all.
That little metal part that broke off was, IMHO, probably strain relief for the input power plug. The LED on the AC adapter only says if it has AC coming in – nothing about whether any DC is going out. More on this later.
computer goes dead
Well, yeah. So I would think.
Gav assumes this is a problem with the power and the battery not charging
Correct assumption.
He opens up the computer, but can’t find any immediately obvious problem, although he does find a small metal piece that is loose and has been rattling around. He removes this.
OWWWW!! I winced when I heard this. Did he use a grounding strap? I doubt it. Maybe siginificant, maybe not.
This “repair guy” is a piece of doodoo. Aside from his appalling customer service habits, he’s full of shit – doesn’t know what he’s talking about and making shit up.
“The plug where tha AC adapter came in looks burnt. I call Bullshit. The adapter puts out 20Vdc, 24 tops. That doesn’t burn a board.
My guess, as I said, is the DC input plug came loose due to the drop. BTW Gavin, yer a klutz. Anyway, after repeated insertions and removals of the DC plug, it simply came loose – pulled away from whatever it’s supposed to connect to. Hence no charging.
As for what that idiot “repairman” may have done to screw it up is anybody’s guess. Get the machine back from him and DON’T PAY HIM A DIME. He didn’t fix it and probably only made it worse. Find someone who actually does know what they’s doing – maybe kenga can help.
Unless you can pressure the idjit into taking the whol mess somewhere and guaranteeing that he’ll bring it back fixed.
Sorry I can’t do more from this coast.
Jennifer – in a perfect world, yes. I sorely wish that’s what would happen. Alas, as Krugman points out,,
the Democrats now have the justification to put forward a much better and ultimately much cheaper for the taxpayer nationalization plan and enough votes in the House to pass it without any Republican help.
True. I sure hope they see it this way instead of as their biggest opportunity yet to cave in the most ignominious way possible to their Republican whipmasters.
I’ve been very disappointed in the Craven Cavin’ 110th.
Yikes. That’s not encouraging, PeeJ. Are shops like this wont to just give you your machine back without making you pay? Should we demand both motherboards back? How do we handle it if he won’t give the laptop back without Gavin paying?
Thoughts? Anyone? kenga? Massachusetts people?
Also, what the hell is a “grounding post” which is what this guy is claiming the metal piece was?
Ungh.
My solution has Two equally plausible options and thus maintains the illusion of choice that all plans need:
Option A: We invest a trillion dollars and violate the laws of physics- invent a time machine and bring John Meynard Keynes and FDR to the future, hell to get Roosevelt to agree to come to our time we can even go back further and give him the polio vaccine as a child.
Option B: We find a Voduin priest and get Zombie Roosevelt up on that shit.
From another blog I saw the comment that the White House poisoned this from the get go with their “give us 700 billion right now, no oversight, no takebacks, ever!” original approach. This from the folks who brought us Iraq occupation, Katrina disaster, torture, illegal spying, a corrupt DoJ, and everything else.
The market may have gone down 777 today, but we’ve spent 7.77 years heading directly for this point.
I doubt if a genuine fix is going to be easy, or popular, or soon.
The fact is, liberals, you blew it. Now John McCain will win, you will all be poor, and here in the Heartland we will repe the benefits of a patriotic pro-usa free market policy.
You will loose everything, all just to get Obama elected.
Yeah, we’ll loosen everything, if that’s what you mean to say. (Oops! Did my pants just fall around my ankles? How on earth did that happen??).
invent a time machine and bring John Meynard Keynes and FDR to the future
Don’t know if their solutions would work today, our debt load is so high. But Volcker is still alive…
First, you paid for the fekkin boards, you should get them back.
A decent shop will be able to test each mobo (that’s motherboard in geek speak) independently.
He’ll probably insist on charging for…well, his time I guess. Stand firm, let him know that you’ve got engineer friends (you do, you do!) who say he’s not competent. You might be able to say it more nicely than I….
Heard anything from kenga? I think he/she is probably your best bet, if only for knowing a competent shop.
The a-hole will prbably insist on charging you the $120. If you must, and only if you must, offer him, say $30 for his time. Whatever, you have to get that shit back or it aint never gonna work.
If worst comes to worse, fedex it all out to me and i’ll fix it (or at least determine where the REAL problem(s) is/are/were.
Have hope. It’s not that easy to fry mobos (it is for me and I’ve bricked quite a few but then I’m a trained professional, heh). There’s a fair chance things aint as bad as I made them seem.
Liberals waging class-war on productive Wall Street bankers are to blame for 92% of computer hardware problems.
Barack Obama drycleaning his clothes with a partisanship-and-roibush infusion is involved somehow, but I missed the details. No-one told me that there was going to be a test.
Oh yes, a grounding post is a metal post that connects between the functional electrical circuitry and the ground. Recall Mr. Wizard telling you that for electrciity to flow you have to have a circuit, a loop. Grounding posts generall are used to make sure various points in the physical layout of a circuit have unfettered access to the ground plane. If I have to explain the ground plane, I’ll have to start charging tutor fees.
Thanks so much for your advice. Haven’t heard anything from Kenga.
Anyone in the Boston area want to chime in on repair places that don’t suck?
KEEEEEENNNNNNGGGGAAAA?!?!? WHERE ARE YOOOOOOOO?!?!
Also, that dingleberry-brained cod swallower probably doesn’t have it wired up correctly. Or completely.
god damn pieces of shit idjits who think they know something ripping off people pisses me the fuck right off, lemmee tell ya.
Ahh shit. Go get the laptop/board(s)/parts. Take close up photos of all the bits in question. Send them to me. I’m no Dr. Frist but I *might* be able to discern something important from them.
PS – if you need a digital camera I STILL have a spare. Sheesh.
PeeJ. We’ve got to wait until tomorrow anyway (it being later here). Assuming it’s not fixed (I don’t think it’s a huge assumption, but Gav is holding out hope) I will take the pictures. I have a fabulous digital camera (see here for an example of my mad photography skills).
I am in full support of the Brad Act.
I can’t believe the Dems voted for this, except for the horror of the collapse, which I am immune to because I will fucking survive.
But the idea of writing a metaphorical check to someone with more money, way more money, than I have is a lot further than I’m willing to go.
And you watch, Wall St. is going to keep sell, sell, selling until something is passed, because that’s all they have.
Sadly, No! Some piece of shit will get passed, and it won’t involve a fucking check to me.
If I have to explain the ground plane, I’ll have to start charging tutor fees.
D00d, if you’re on the ground, why do you need a plane?
Because, duh, I’M ON THE GROUND.
Because, duh, I’M ON THE GROUND.
Then guard your post soldier.
Because, duh, I’M ON THE GROUND.
You guys are really helping ease my stress levels. I need these laughs. Thank you.
(I just want my beloved husband to have his computer back and be able to work and post snark and stuff. Is that so much to ask, mr guy-in-davis-square-who-hasn’t-actually-lived-up-to-his-“repair-guy”-title?)
Solder the ground post? OK.
[whistles, fires up blowtorch}
Heh, you don’t need to tell ME to guard my post. I’m a preferred customer at condomania, after all.
marita:
for a computer that’s still under warranty, you should just send it back to the company and take your lumps. taking it to this other guy was your big mistake, as youve now voided the warranty and didnt get it fixed.
dell puts their service manuals online. i dont know about gateway, but i’d imagine that a few well placed emails to the customer service dept could probably get you all the instructions you need to DIY.
Yeah Fred, I’m thinking you’re right on the warranty. The thought was that since Gav has a lot of freelance work that he’ll won’t get paid for if he can’t get it done on time, it would be better to pay for repairs and get it done fast and locally. If this guy had fixed the computer, that would have been a fine thought. I guess we didn’t think it was too much to hope that a computer repair place could actually fix a computer.
Gary Ruppert wrote:
Damn straight! This never would have happened if liberals hadn’t forced the banks to lend money to invertebrates.
Doctor Missus Marita,hoping that a computer repair shop actually fixes your computer is, well, a long shot. A lot of what they do is fairly routine stuff. Reformat/reinstall is their number one solution for everything. Was this a generic computer repair shop or was he a certified gateway technician?
Electro-shocking the planaria is also good.
Gateway has no authorized repair shops in Boston. That’s the first thing he asked when he called Gateway. It’s a generic repair shop, and not a particularly glamorous one. The place only has one review on Yelp, but it’s a glowing one, if that’s worth anything. I’m thinking, probably not, at this point.
Sugared Cockroach with Sauteed Lizard’s Legs
Ingredients:
2 teaspoons vast cockroach
7 bunches accidental lizard’s leg
4 cups process cheese, crucified
2 cans argumentative mustang bowel, spasmodically toasted
1 jigger coffee
1 ounce cocoa
Pick over the ingredients and discard excess chocolate. Place the cockroach into a medium jar. Use a food processor to mash the process cheese with the lizard’s leg. Slather resulting potion over the cockroach. Herb – very commonly – the mustang bowel, coffee, and the cocoa. Stomp everything together horribly. Fry in aardvark oil for 23 minutes. Serves 13 nocturnal friends with thrilling stomachs.
Bubba, the mustang bowel that I have is only slightly peevish. Will that ruin the recipe?
Well Doctor Missus Marita, all I can tell you is that you did everything as best you could. Sometimes that ain’t enough. All I can tell you is that even if it is a decent tech, they’re human. Quite a few techs aren’t even decent ones. Quite a few aren’t even indecent ones. Unfortunately, that’s part of the problem with demand exceeding supply. I wish I had better advice to offer, but PeeJ already more than covered what I could tell you.
What happens after you’ve already jumped the shark, the humpback whale, and the giant squid.
…the mustang bowel that I have is only slightly peevish. Will that ruin the recipe?
Tell it that it deserves to be tenderized with one of those knobbly steel mallets. It will become argumentative.
Bubba, the mustang bowel that I have is only slightly peevish. Will that ruin the recipe?
If the mustang bowel’s not up to snuff I find you can substitute 2 pints of roasted polar bear egg without any loss of flavour.
If the mustang bowel’s not up to snuff I find you can substitute 2 pints of roasted polar bear egg without any loss of flavour.
It just so happens that my local market has a sale going on these!
So now someone has to help me. I’m trying to build a kernel for a green board (embedded system)using the ELDK. Why does xargs barf from
bash$ make mrproper? bc_ctl.arg_max assertion failed. Should I touch xargs.c and rebuild?Ummm, okay.
PeeJ, I know this guy in Davis Square who could totally answer your question.
OK, maybe not.
PeeJ, that makes about as much sense to me as a comment from Lenny Martello.
DON”T MOCK LENNY!
How do we handle it if he won’t give the laptop back without Gavin paying?
Um, I’m pretty sure I could do it. Think about going in angry, unbathed and unhinged. It’s amazing how fast people accede to your demands. I’ve never had much trouble with it. Stay on the good side of legal and intimidate away!
Peej, did you sudo?
mikey
How do we handle it if he won’t give the laptop back without Gavin paying?
The Poor Man Institute knows a guy who looks like one serious enforcer.
Should I touch xargs.c and rebuild?
Never in public.
I do a bit of embedded systems stuff, but only as a hobby. 8-bit AVR MCU FTW.
bc_ctl.arg_max assertion FAILed
I just watched the “Katie and Jism, together again” interview.” Didn’t we see the same thing with W and Cheney? Will he stand beside her at the debate? Maybe she’ll have strange bumps on her back, receiving her response from…whoever it is/was putting words in her/his mouth.
Shouldn’t need to ‘sudo’. Anyway, I frequently forget to exit ‘su’ which I tend to do first thing.
I blame McCain, even though there’s no no sense laying blame.
Yeah, well, whenever one of my systems tells me it can’t do something basic and stupid like delete a file or update an application, it occurs to me to SUDO and my problems go away.
If I could have SUDO’d my wife, I’d likely still be married…
mikey
There you go again, PeeJ, with your gotcha journalism questions.
I do a bit of embedded systems stuff, but only as a hobby. 8-bit AVR MCU FTW.
Ahhh, I wish. I LOVE 8 bit MCUs. Not to act superior or anything but they’re pretty simple and it’s mostly a ball working with them. This embedded PowerPC crap has me pulling my hair out.
On the up side, I just poured my (first?) martini so everything should be okay now.
Bible Spice doesn’t need strange lumps on the back of her suit coat.
She’s got a hair alien.
How did wonkette get started calling McCain “Walnuts”? It’s hysterical, but I don’t know how it started.
Erm, sudo’ing the wife? AIAIAIAIIEEEEAAIEEEEE
Send this guy over to pick up Gav’s computer, Doctor Missus. I’m betting you’ll get no argument.
Doesn’t Bible Spice have a direct line to GOD? How come HE doesn’t help her out? huh? HUH?
PeeJ,
touching xargs.c is a serious federal offence.
The only way to do it is to disguise yourself as a police station and proceed with caution.
If this fails, (what are the chances?) replace the gubbins with a watchamacallit or a thingamyjig.
This should only be done while wearing a marigold glove on your head.
Gary Ruppert said,
...John McCain will win, you will all be poor,,,,
QED
Dear sweet Jeebus, Jennifer. That’s frightening.
Here I was thinking of arming ourselves with a few good statutes from the Mass AG’s consumer protection office. That seems like weak sauce compared to your enforcer.
I’m jealous of your martini, PeeJ. I have a huge list of stuff I can’t eat right now (stomach-y problems, that believe me, this computer thing ain’t helping), and alcohol is right at the top of it.
It’s a really cruel world sometimes.
Not to act superior or anything but they’re pretty simple and it’s mostly a ball working with them.
That’s why I mess with them as a hobby. 🙂 I used to do 8-bit assembly coding professionally, back in the early 90s (65C816 and Z80 stuff). That got old, but when there’s no pressure on, I still think it’s fun to do stuff like that. Currently I’m building myself a custom alarm clock.
My day job is programming actual full-size general purpose computers.
Doesn’t Bible Spice have a direct line to GOD? How come HE doesn’t help her out? huh? HUH?
Oh but Katie wouldn’t let her use a phone-a-friend, remember?
You know those metal temples on her glasses with the curly ends? Receivers. Direct line from Gahd.
I know how to capture bin Laden.
I know how to win in Iraq.
I know how to fix the economy.
But
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I’m not telling! pthpthptphtphptphptt
g said,
How did wonkette get started calling McCain “Walnuts”? It’s hysterical, but I don’t know how it started.
Here you go… Walnuts…
I have a huge list of stuff I can’t eat right now (stomach-y problems, that believe me, this computer thing ain’t helping), and alcohol is right at the top of it.
My doc (did I mention she speaks Urdu?) put me on this medication a few months ago that made me hella sick. But you gotta do it, right? I mean, Chemo makes people sick, but if it makes you well…
Well, sorry, ultimately, what the HELL are we doing here?
I’d rather shuffle off next thursday then be sick all the time.
Thing is? She understood that.
What’s so special about being alive anyway. I’d just like to point out they don’t expect you to come to work after they bury you.
Just, y’know, sayin…..
mikey
PeeJ.
I understand everything you wrote there, but I’m no help as you’re building for an embedded system, and I’ve never had the problem you describe. Sorry.
BTW, your advice to Marita was spot-on. The “repairman” doesn’t know much of anything ISTM. I get roped into “fixing” laptops of one of my friends and he’s the kind of user who not only use Windows (idolizes Gates and has a pirated cable connection, modem included), but he also throws away every bit of documentation he receives on any hard/software he buys as soon as he unpacks it. After one vexing problem, i finally told him to pay someone to do it as I wasn’t going to touch his f’n laptops anymore. Turned out the software he was trying to install required much more memory than the laptop had in it. Guess what. After he gets the memory installed, he begs me to install the software. I do it only because we’ve been friends for over 20 years.
This is excellent news! For McCain!
McCain’s stock on Intrade (intrade.com) pretty much reflects the DOW. Back in the day, we had an expression: DC-10. McCain is doing a DC-10, no doubt about it.
Oh, and from a user experience standpoint?
I finally figured out a wireless (802.11) connection from my network to my stereo.
Endless wireless music thru the BIG speakers.
My life is now complete….
mikey
Thanks anyway, crossbuck. FWIW, I hope your ‘friend’ brings something to the table other than heleeelllp meeeeee. Otherwise, and I’m sure Amy (Dickinson, not that clueless Alkon POS) would agree, yer lettin yerself be taken advantage of. Just sayin….
Jeebus, I need to get a fekkin life. At the least, I need to make dinner for the Ho. He’s sensitive about such things.
g said,
September 30, 2008 at 3:39
How did wonkette get started calling McCain “Walnuts”? It’s hysterical, but I don’t know how it started.
How it started.
Bonus research stuff:
No cry albino
mccain-even-crazier-about-this-walnuts-thing-than-we-are.
Damn Pope Ringo, I didn’t know they posted a cheat sheet in 2008.
*sniff*
My doc (did I mention she speaks Urdu?) put me on this medication a few months ago that made me hella sick. But you gotta do it, right?
There is a prescription that both my doctor and I know will fix this. It has fixed this repeatedly in the past. The insurance company is refusing to cover the prescription though, because there is a similar drug that’s available over the counter. Unfortunately, I’m allergic to the OTC drug, and the insurance company has this in their records somewhere, but apparently they have to have a hissy fit thrown at them every single time before they’ll pay for this particular prescription.
So this is a short term misery. My safe list of foods includes “red licorice”, so I’m contenting myself to munch on Red Vines. Twizzlers are but a pale imitation.
I feel the need to apologize at this point for being the lamest person on this thread. The rest of y’all have been really kind to me today.
mikey, I’m being swayed by your argument….
Fellows at the blog Sadly No greetings.
I’ve never posted here at this blog before and I am completely a-political. I have almost no interest in politics whatsoever and I don’t have a political opinion on anything.
But the reason I’m posting here and at many other internet forums is to try and persuade people that cryptozoology is a respectable scientific field that needs to be taken seriously by the mainstream scientific community.
My goal by posting at blogs is to do my part to make people understand what exactly cryptozoology is and why it is important.
Cryptozoology is the study of hidden animals, meaning animals that are not recognized by the scientific community as existing. Examples of such are Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and the Yeti.
Over the past centuries, many animals that were only known to people in legend and isolated reports have been proven to exist. Examples of such are the Mountain Gorrilla, the Okapi, the Giant Squid and the Platapus. I and others of the cryptozoology community are convinced that there are still many animals that are unknown to science. There is ample evidence to suggest that Bigfoot exists in our North American forests and is probably the gigantopithicis a species of “extinct” giant ape that supposedly died out during the last Ice Age.
There is also ample evidence to suggest that the Loch Ness Monster and many other Lake Monsters exist. The most probable candidate for such creatures would be a suriviving plessiosaur, a species of aquatic reptile that went “extinct” 65 million years ago.
I shall be posting on this and many other blogs regularly to try and persuade people to support our endevours in discovering and cataloging these animals and also to try and bring cryptozoology out the category of a “pesudoscience” and into the mainstream scientific community.
Naah, not really. He and I used to go out a lot on his (and his friend’s’) dime – I used to practically be a professional dinner guest. He had a stroke some years ago and his wife too a run out because of it, even though he recovered totally. I feel bad for him in a way, but he acts as if he knows more about computers than he really does. That shit irritates me no end. When he lambasted Linux, that was almost the end right there. He knew so little about it (he blamed Linux for not being able to read other people’s Word documents, that’s how much he knows), that I just do the absolute minimum to keep him going. If it’s a Windows problem, I tell him so and say, “I don’t know nothin’ bout fixin’ no Windows” which is partially a lie. If he showed a bit of humility, I’d do more, but that’s never been in his personality.
Hush up, Josh. Some of us are trying to keep a low profile.
Jeez.
Spill, Mikey.
I’ve had it up to HERE with computer-based speakers for my computer-based music.
thanks for the Walnuts link. That guy’s great!!!
My goal by posting at blogs is to do my part to make people understand what exactly cryptozoology is and why it is important.
Jeebus! if this guy is posting here, I can only imagine where else he’s posted.
He’s a hard worker!
There is ample evidence to suggest that Bigfoot exists in our North American forests
He’s Todd Palin’s old snow-mobile dealership partner.
What, Josh St. Lawrence, no love for the chupacabras?
Here’s a link that should be able to answer most of the questions you may have about the existence of Bigfoot.
http://www.bfro.net/
. Unfortunately, I’m allergic to the OTC drug, and the insurance company has this in their records somewhere, but apparently they have to have a hissy fit thrown at them every single time before they’ll pay for this particular prescription.
Sweetheart. We ARE you. Now listen.
You don’t have to BE a homicidal maniac to LOOK like one.
Let’s be honest. We all have it within us. That’s what makes armies work. You can take some sad sack off the street and teach him to kill and send him to a suppurating sore of a country and tell him to kill the scary guys with the guns and you know what? He WILL. Kill those guys. He won’t understand what you’re making him do, or how he’s supposed to process the horror, but the thing is, he’ll DO it.
So, here’s my point. You want a particular outcome. The world has certain expectations, and certain stereotypes. There is nothing wrong with living DOWN to those expectations. Think of it as performance art, if you must think of it at all.
What scares them? Well, odor. Odor and obscenity. TWO of our weapons are odor and obscenity. And an almost fanatical commitment to our desired outcome.
Among our weapons. Anyway, the point is, you behave in a fashion that stays inside most of the laws, while being as offensive and scary as you possibly can.
They will very quickly move to a place where they recognize that your demands can be met easily, and if that causes you to go away, they feel they have won. And what’s wrong with them winning, as long as you get what you want,y’know?
mikey
The chupacabra is a very interesting cryptid. Some cryptozoologists think that it may be an alien from another planet. Others think it may be an undiscovered species of primate that feeds on blood much like a giant vampire bat. Me personally, I tend to think the primate theory is probably more plausable, but you never know. It could indeed be an alien. Thats why cryptozoology is important, it along with the many other branches of science is about the quest for knowledge. In my opinion knowledge is of more value than gold.
I’ve never posted here at this blog before… blah blah blah… try and persuade people to support our endevours in discovering and cataloging these animals and also to try and bring cryptozoology out the category of a “pesudoscience”….
Oooh, oooh! Can you tell me about the flat earth, too?
Well, nobody has mentioned it yet, but…
Let Sarah Be Sarah!!!!
Apparently, that Couric stuff that we saw??? That was the good stuff. Edited for quality. To make her look competent.
It seems she couldn’t come up with a single other Supreme Court case besides Roe v. Wade. Not People v. Larry Flynt. Not whatever the hell the recent Exxon Valdez case was called. No Plessey v. Ferguson. No Brown v. Board of Ed. NO FUCKING BUSH V. FUCKING GORE??????
Nothing.
Shit.
What about me? You have something against creatures of African descent?
Quick, someone get Palin on the line. There’s a dangerous new development on the Russian side of the Alaska-Russia maritime border. Putin no longer needs to rear his head to enter the airspace of the United States of America. Now he’s got spy gadgets to do it.
It seems she couldn’t come up with a single other Supreme Court case besides Roe v. Wade
Not even The OJ Simpson Case? She needs tutoring from Mario George Nitrini!!!!
NO FUCKING BUSH V. FUCKING GORE??????
That is an interesting one – IIRC, it wasn’t even a real case but some very odd little legalistic widget which was used in a very nonstandard way just to hand the Presidency to Cmdr Cuckoo-bananas.
Palin should certainly be aware of it, though, because it’s likely only a shenanigan like that could get her into office.
Here’s a list of cryptids so you guys can do your own independent research if you would like. Granted wikipedia is not the most reliable source there is, but it does have quite an extensive list of cryptids provided on its pages with links to actual websites about the cryptids themselves.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cryptids
I know. And it’s been a horrific journey. Let me give you the short version.
Bluetooth. Sucks. Sound quality is horrible, and every time the phone rings the music stops ’til you set it up again. Are these fucking engineers stupid?
So then I found the “Linksys Wireless Music Bridge”. DO NOT be tempted. Yes, it’s exactly the device and concept you’ve been looking for. But it’s not ready. I’ve been configuring TCP/IP networks for almost fifteen years. I have NEVER been defeated by a piece of hardware before. I am not afraid to get down in the tall weeds and configure IPs, gateways, WEP security, MAC filtering, I don’t give a shit. This piece of crap defeated me. I could get it to where the network could see it, I could ping the IP, I could see it within the drivers that redirect the output of the audio apps to the 802.11 transmitter. But I could NEVER get the application itself to admit the device was on the network. I gave up.
I bought the Apple Airport Express. Perfect, simple and effortless. Downside? It only plays through iTunes, you can’t, for instance, play Pandora thru your browser wirelessly. But know what? This shouldn’t be this hard, but it is, so for a hundred bux, I’ll take it…
mikey
Here’s a link to a list of cryptids so you guys can do your own independent research if you would like. Granted wikipedia is not the most reliable source around, but it does have a very extensive list of cryptids with links to actual websites about the cryptids themselves.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cryptids
Not whatever the hell the recent Exxon Valdez case was called.
That would be Exxon Shipping Co. v. Baker, the case Governor Palin publicly commented on three long months ago.
From the Juneau Empire (6/26/08). Maybe she determined that it wasn’t a major decision and hence not worth mentioning.
mikey—
Jon Lech Johansen of DeCSS fame also wrote some code that allows you to play anything you want through the Airport Express. Probably still out there somewhere, no idea if it (still) works or not. He seems to have a thing for .NET so it runs pretty effortlessly on Linux (Mono) and Windows.
One of these days I want to build a small embedded box that has nothing but PulseAudio on it, a wireless adapter, and a sound card. Right now our house is too small for something like that to make sense, but maybe someday…
When I lived at home it was pretty fun to play music on my laptop in my parents’ basement using PulseAudio to redirect it to the home theater PC I had built and then out to their stereo system.
Mikey,
Heh, heh. That sound just like the sort of accessory that my know-it-all friend might just buy (I forgot to mention he’s a musician), and considering how well his Linksys WiFi works (okay, it’s not totally the unit’s fault, he’s hooked up to Comcast, and we know what that means), he’ll be begging me to fix it. And even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. He detests his bluetooth, too. Maybe I should warn him beforehand. Decisions, decisions.
You might have me there on BvG. I do recall it was more of a punt. Not actually telling Florida to do anything. A non-case case, as it were.
Still, you’d think she’d manage something
Then again.
I look forward to yelling out “What part of
bc_ctl.arg_max assertion faileddon’t you understand?!” during arguments.Here’s a comprehensive website dealing with recent investigations in search of the Loch Ness Monster, including an archieve so you can search the evidence for yourselves.
http://www.lochnessinvestigation.org/
You might have me there on BvG.
I dunno – Wikipedia says it was an actual case, so it must be. I’ll have to chase down whatever “Law for Dummies” thing I read that made me believe otherwise.
Still, you’d think she’d manage something… then again.
Indeed. Even legally/politically clueless I could name a few more cases than that, but this is Bible Spice.
At least she didn’t mention Solomon suggesting that the baby be cut in half.
El Cid is going to be so excited to find we have a chupacabralogist in the house.
Hey, Josh, read some James Randi and take his arguments against fraud and woo-woo to heart.
The reason we’re having a financial meltdown is because liberals forced the banks to lend money to chupacabras.
I’m actually pretty sure Palin will do OK in the VP debate. At least, she won’t be as bad as she’s being set up to be. The strategy seems to be to set the bar as low as possible.
Once the debate’s over, you’ll find the wingnuts will pick up one statement by Biden (whether gaffelicious or not) and spin it into an assault upon the good character of Sarah Palin and (by extension) all Americans.
It’s their only winning strategy: cruise mode through the debate, then work the media to alter the perceptions of the non-obsessed public.
Don’t count her out yet.
Josh, man, you’re making the rest of us look bad. Can’t you at least slip in your mentions of Loch Ness or Mokole-mbembe into the conversation, rather than clunkingly drop a fat load of it mindlessly into something unrelated?
Like, I dunno “I don’t want to say Sarah Palin is inexperienced politically, but there’s an alma in Mongolia who’s more politically aware than her.”
Our Dead Selves, I take it you’re the resident skeptic. Thats okay, most of us start out as skeptics. I have to admit before I learned the facts I was skeptical myself. All of us with scientific minds start out as skeptical. But science is about the pursuit of knowledge and truth, and the facts clearly prove that it is more likely than not that there are large creatures living in the more remote areas of the globe that are presently unknown to science. All I’m asking is for you guys to approach cryptozoology with an open mind. Science benefits all of us, and cryptozoology is no exception.
I’m completely a-political, so I’m afraid I won’t be able to contribute anything about politics to the discussion. Sorry.
Tbogg has a delicious clip of McFather-Mcdaughter going down in flames.
Josh: You’re so funny and deluded.
Ok, what I want now is a show of hands. How many of you believe in the existence of Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster?
Brad, with the update, you have created the Perfect Post. I hurt my throat just now I was laughing so hard.
Geez, Josh. Based on your word choice and sentence construction so far, if I didn’t know better I’d think you were our long lost pal Saul. But what kind of sad person would dedicate themselves to such a strange form of performance art, and then fail at it so badly?
Sam,
So it is a real case.
Ironic, too, that the “article of the day” is “tulip mania”.
Can’t accuse the wiki folk of lacking in a certain gallows humor.
Hey mikey. You awake?
Huh? Yeah, kinda. What?
On thursday? I killed that guy. I shot him in the chest. Twice. He kept coming.
Youngster. If you hit him twice in the chest, he goes down. You ever seen one of our guys go right on through two rounds in the chest?
I KNOW. That’s what’s freakin me out. These guys can’t be killed.
Kid. Listen to me. It’s a much greater likelihood that you missed him. If you hit him, he goes down. Haven’t you seen all those other NVA go down when they get hit?
But mikey, I’m SURE I hit him. What if some of them can’t DIE??
Go back to sleep Josh. I’ll take your watch. Here. Take a couple hits off this, ok??
mikey
Ann Althouse?
Is “a-political” like “asexual”? I mean, do you just not get it?
Twizzlers are but a pale imitation.
My six-year old is attempting to make jokes. Yesterday:
Q. Why does Felix the Cat call Twizzlers Wizzlers?
A. Because they wizz in your mouth!
Yes, the little darling has encountered JanusNode.
A question for you, Josh St. Lawrence, if you don’t mind. How would you classify this creature?
Ok, what I want now is a show of hands. How many of you believe in the existence of Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster?
I’m holding up all three hands.
Ok, what I want now is a show of hands. How many of you believe in the existence in Josh St. Lawrence?
Just what I was thinking.
I swear that I had not seen J— ‘s link to the Poorman Cryptopsychology Institute when I chose this nom-nom-nom-de-plume.
I believe in Bigfoot. And Stone Crusher and Grave Digger and El Toro Loco.
Fuck that. There are large creatures presently unknown to science living just two houses down the block.
Maybe Saul is Big Foot and Josh is his illegitimate offspring.
Lesley,
There are some precious comments over there, too.
Can iTunes play streaming recordings, like what you might find at the Live Music Archive at archive.org?
This one, for example?
http://www.archive.org/details/gd1977-05-09.sbd.unknown.11906.shnf
I would love it if that were true.
plus, Santa Clara County v. Southern Pacific Railroad.
Our Dead Selves, I take it you’re the resident skeptic.
No, he shot himself, all that’s left is us Pollyannas.
Somebody wake me when Sanjayah Quaylin is ready to explain credit-default swaps. Until then, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
One of my favourite parts of the video is when Palin mouths “pizza place” after John McCain asks if gotcha journalism is a pizza place, as if she’s filing it away for future use.
Sometimes?
Late, late at night, when nothing’s stirring and the only sound is the lonely train whistles down at the switching yard.
When I just can’t spend another moment staring at the inside of my eyelids, when I just KNOW that the neighborhood is crawling with creatures not yet known, and people with nefarious intentions.
I go down, armed hard with a short rifle and a couple grenades and no pants. Pants can only get in the way at this point.
I work my way silently to the back wall of the shopping mall across the street, and use my Buck 440 lockback folder to pop open the back door of the nearest restaurant.
Just in time, as the police cruise by with their spotlights and their misdirected “concerns”. What do THEY know about this neighborhood?
Suddenly, STUNNINGLY, confronted by a busboy, a busboy who hasn’t seen a round – eye on deep penetration, heavily armed but without pants. He throws up his hands and begins to beg.
No, no, this is all wrong. How did I get here? What brought me here? How is it that evil just cruises along in the middle lane while I fight busboys late at night in locked restaurants?
Josh. Your questions are neither deep nor insightful enough. You should try to be me. For a week…
mikey
HEY JOSH, WHAT ABOUT TEH FUCHING FERRETS?!
Christ on a stick, this is the funniest sentence I have read in a long, long time.
I’m completely a-political, so I’m afraid I won’t be able to contribute anything about politics to the discussion. Sorry.
then get the fuck out.
Unless you want to weigh in on brussels sprouts.
BRUSSELS SPROUTS IZ AWRSOMM!
Can we put the CEOs on an Eat-What-You-Catch Meal Plan?
Can iTunes play streaming recordings, like what you might find at the Live Music Archive at archive.org?
This one, for example?
Yes, hippie.
“Where are my pants? is one of the funniest gag lines in English.
Now, I must froom my bandersnatch.
Actual websites? Ok, I’m sold. I’ve been fooled before by those fake websites, like the ones that tell me I need to clean up my registry, whatever the heck that is. I blame the ferrets and the pizza places. And brussels sprouts. And God.
Hey Josh, do you believe in penis copters?
Actually, on a recent documentary I watched about the Loch Ness Monster on the history channel the team photographed what could very well be a carcass of one of the creatures. It was in 2001 I believe, the team is currently planning a second expedition in order to retrieve the possible carcass.
If the carcass is proven to be that of a pleissiasaur it will be one of the greatest scientific discoveries of all time. I’ll try and find a link for you guys.
Just think how fasinating that would be if a breeding population of pleissiasaur’s survived the extinction of the dinosaurs 65 million years ago till this day undetected?
“Where are my pants? is one of the funniest gag lines in English.
I know where my pants are.
Where am I? is the more salient question.
I and others of the cryptogeography community are convinced that there are still many continents that are unknown to science.
Thanks, so much, for the all caps TEH FERRETS, thank for the way the weighty issues of the day snap into focus and thanks, too, to the Sadly No! community for promoting teh alcohol and drugs as shamanic tools for experiencing, day by day, mooseburger by mooseburger, the fall of your shithole American empire.
And by the way, these fucks, these fucks who hold the power of life and death over me and those most dear to me, who _are_ these fucking assholes? — http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1841685_1841675_1841672,00.html
“You have Yellow Teeth”
IS DEAFENLY ONE OF THE L00ZERZ OF THE WEAK!1!
I will see your “You have Yellow Teeth” and raise you one FatLoss4Idiots.
I guess we could have seen this coming huh?
Bush Sidesteps Congress? $630 Billion To Be Pumped Into Economy Despite House Bailout Rejection
Bush has always been good at paying lip service and making token gestures. Ok not really.
oops, forgot the end html
It seems ya’all need to get rid of presidential veto powers in your country because this latest president is a total abuser of privilege.
Cryptiddly-eye-doodly, folks!
Hmm. Must remember “pizza place” as a good “out” when cornered.
So help me God, if she spouts out “Pizza place! Pizza place!” during the debate, I’m going to completely lose it, and stuff Gwen Ifill down her fucking throat.
If I was real, I’d mention the heartland.
The heartland.
So there.
Just the kind I’d expect to hear from somebody in the pocket of big shitpile. You’ve lost your way, Brad.
Gary Ruppert, the fact is that your spelling is crap:
and insuring economic recovery – that is ensuring unless you want to write a whole new shitpile of CDSs.
here in the Heartland we will repe the benefits of a patriotic pro-usa free market policy. – perhaps you are reaping the benefits of a patriotic pro-usa free market education or maybe you meant repo!
Late to the party (what else is new?)—but re: sudo’ing people, see the awesome as always xkcd.
Josh, Josh, as a Scotsman, let me explain the Lock Ness Monster. Its real purpose is to liberate cash of deluded tourists in he Inverness area. And if you dont believe that, I have a furry nessie to sell you!
On a more serious subject, anyone know how to make your own ringtones on the Iphone, I’m sick of the barking dog, and want the ring tone to be the first 25 secs of ‘The Fall’, ‘Theme from Sparta FC’.
Our entire govenment is to blame for the condition our country is in. However, there are a few who have been warning us to watch how our money is being spent. Senator Tom Colburn for 1. The executives who profited at our expense should have their ASSets seized by the government and then go promptly to jail. What we are not being told is how the Fed ran out of money. Did they fund bad loans by Developers. I dont think we are talking about the average homeowner being the problem, more probably its the developers who built development after development with bank monies only to have them sitting there – which serves them right if they lose out. Not us. Most homeowners are legit and pay their bills. THAT WOULD BE US THE MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE. LET THE BUILDERS AND DEVELOPERS PAY UP OR GO TO JAIL.
NO BAILOUT!!!!!!!!!
Hey guys, no need to worry — you just misunderstood!
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=B000HWZ3HG
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