Could we have an “all of the above” option, Brad?

I think those voting for “other” should be forced to state their position in the comments.

I picked “pregnant” but I really wanted “uploads brain into robot body, suck it Palin!”

Other: McCain and Palin hold joint press conference, announce that Barack Obama is actually an Al-Qaeda operative, and demand that Bush have the Secret Service arrest Obama and send him to Gitmo for “interrogation”.

I guess you can’t save the nation from a depression twice.

What should John McCain’s next zany stunt be?

Name a chicken “Barack Obama” and bite its head off.

Other: land on an aircraft carrier and declare major combat operations in Iraq, Afghanistan and St. Paul over.

ZOMG ACTION ALERT: everybody PLEASE freep this poll! It is vital that we rig the results before the other side has a chance to rig them!!11

Polls are fun

So are some of the signs and images that show up at protest rallies in Anchorage, AK.

http://www.adn.com/photos/sarah-palin/v-gallery/story/539276.html?/1521/gallery/539277-a539334-t3.html

Attention Sadly haiku masters: People for the American Way is looking for some great haikus about McSame/McWorse. Impress your friends, win valuable prizes, be published in Teh Nation!

Haiku Contest

Uh oh

Mr Fiends, I’m pregant is kickin’ ass!

the_millionaire_lebowski said,

September 28, 2008 at 22:20

She does the pointless “art” photos too, huh?

She really is Althouse without the benefit of medication.

Oh, sh*t, here comes Carrot Top again.

Heh.

Doh! It didn’t record my “Other” option, which went something like this:

Have one of those touching, very special graduate-from-high-school stunts where they play soft piano music and show slow-motion clips of past stunts to remind us how much they have all grown over the years–and how much we have grown with them.

Not to derail this thread or anything…

Posted by: Tony at September 28, 2008 12:44 AM

Amy sure has the nicest commenters!

Other: Dump Palin and run Bill Clinton as VP.

Cram, baby, cram!

I think those voting for “other” should be forced to state their position in the comments.

Hey, it’s a free country. If elected I promise a chicken in every garage and a pot in every car.

Sign this guy up as a political forecaster.

My friends, I picked “invade Russia” but on second thoughts I think we need a smaller adversary, and a war we can win solidly in less than three weeks. Good climate and scenery a strong plus. How about the Cayman Islands? We can recover safeguard all that off-shore money.

I voted other and wrote in: “Joint McCain and Palin trip overseas to fix some international crisis.”

Shorter Alternative Althouse commenter Tony:

Haha big dicks lol

Other: McCain divorces Cindy and marries the as-yet-unborn babychild of Bristol and Levi, who I predict will be named “Copenhagen Miller Palin”.

babychild of Bristol and Levi, who I predict will be named “Copenhagen Miller Palin”.

didn’t you forgot “Camaro”?

forgot = forget. Gawd, I sound like Bush. I is learning.

Candy, click your link and then ask Brad for some intercession, quickly!

Cram, baby, cram.

Would it be too obvious to work up a photoshop with Ms. Mooseburger sitting at a desk surrounded by books like “Foreign Policy for Dummies”?

babychild of Bristol and Levi, who I predict will be named “Copenhagen Miller Palin”.

didn’t you forgot “Camaro”?

“Copenhagen Bondo Palin”. Now, that’s fuckin’ redneck.

“My friends, John McCain and I are pregnant!”

Other: McCain releases hot and steamy sex tape he made with Kim Kardashian

> “Copenhagen Bondo Palin”. Now, that’s fuckin’ redneck.

I vote for “Hogjowl Mooseshine Palin”. Copenhagen is too, uhhh, French or something.

The alliterative form of Moonshine for Alaskans is Mooseshine. Made from fermented moose guts.

I kind of liked the SNL suggestion that he suspends his campaign and challenges Obama to a pie-eating contest.

Perhaps they could name the child “Zany Stunt Palin.”

> I kind of liked the SNL suggestion that he suspends his campaign and challenges Obama to a pie-eating contest.

I predict that at the last minute before the VP debate, Mooseburger will suggest that her and Biden have a baby birthin’ contest instead of discussing policy.

Copenhagen is too, uhhh, French or something.

In my junior high geography class, we learned about the great cities of Europe, and when we got around to Copenhagen, one of my buddies (who’s now gone on to be with Jesus, rest his soul) hollered out “Goddamn! Did they name it after the dip?” Swear to God. Few things in this world are more redneck than a can of Copenhagen snuff. It’s sorta like Hank Williams Jr. tapes in your pickup, seperates the posers from the real deal.

Another potential baby name: “Bushhawg Spitcup Palin”.

invade Russia and appoint Palin as its new Tsarina
Will she be Tsarina of All the Russias? Or just a representative selection, maybe the three most popular Russias?

“Zany Stunt Palin.”
A Stunt Palin does all the dangerous stuff like transferring parachutes in mid-air.

I also knew a girl in high school who named her daughter “Wynonna Naomi”. Told her “Twenty years from now, that kid’s never gonna call you and you’ll never be able to figure out why.” I knew another kid that by the time he hit senior year, he had three boys by three different girls, and all of ’em were named “Dale Jr.”

Another baby name: “Liftkit Mudflap Palin”

Other: Penetrate a ewe, live on NBC

Few things in this world are more redneck than a can of Copenhagen snuff.

These are Alaska rednecks, though; “Timber Wolf Long Cut Pipeline Palin”?

If it’s a boy, of course.

A really huge national-scale disaster might be enough to force postponement of this whole election thingee. Suitcase nukes in San Francisco? My friends, that’s an emergency we can believe in.

Other: McCain will publicly kill, gut, and eat Sara Palin, in order to ‘absorb her power.’

Long-cut snuff is not redneck. It’s for city boys who want to pretend they’re up to skinning bucks and running trotlines. Which, admittedly, does sound like the Palins and that poor dumbass boy.

“Glasspak Garrett Palin”

I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW!!!

He should be so mavericky that he cancels a town hall meeting in Ohio with a bunch of independent voters and doesn’t tell anybody, leaving them to hang on Sunday morning.

Too late?

Damn.

I suggested that McCain suspend his campaign again to lead a naval expedition against the Somali pirates who are hijacking vessels off the African coast. He should crash a plane into the water near the pirate ships, get taken prisoner and get tortured. Bush can negotiate his freedom for promises of amnesty and McCain will finally have a new POW story to tell.

Already did, thank you, stringonastick. No response yet. I’m an eejit.

Cram, baby, cram.

I voted for the Russia thing, because then we would have Bristol Tsardines.

> Which, admittedly, does sound like the Palins and that poor dumbass boy.

Did you see the website http://www.FreeLevi.org ?

The picture of McPOW, Levi, and BabyBirthin’Unit#1 at http://www.FreeLevi.org is kinda scary. Take a look at his left hand.

It doesn’t just look like McPOW is 149 years old – it looks like he is one of the really creepy Ancient Vampires in those Wesley Snipe movies.

Have himself Baptized at the same he is being waterboarded.

“Sarah Palin is having John McCain’s black child”.

The fact is, you all suck. Freedom loving USA people in the Heartland support McCan, not the eleitist, left biased Osama Bin Biden. We like lower taxes, God in government, capital punishment and pro-life. We are the majority.

You need to get out more, Gary.

I call Fake Gary.

Jesus weeps whenever one of his Children says “you all suck”.

McCain will quit the election to prove he is above electoral politics.

The fact is, the liberal media is in the tank for Obama and biased against McCain, who does not get equal time or respect. I am reporting this to newsbusters and the MRC.

“After Levi stands up Bristol at the alter, McCain offers to become bigamist so that Miller Lite Palin will have a father.”

eidos, you are an evil genius.

I think that she should shoot Russia from her house.

That would show all the haters. And Putin’s giant head.

Hate to be a wet blanket, but that old rule of politics still applies.
Don’t let the lows get you too low, don’t let the highs get you too high.

There’s still the October surprise of war with Iran to be reckoned with, unfortunately.
I almost wish the polls were closer so they’d feel less tempted.
Something bad is still going to happen, and the landscape will change.

And fuck yes, I hope I’m wrong.

I don’t vote for McCain under any circumstances.

Other: Accuse Obama of witchcraft.

My friends, I can’t erase comments so I’ll just have to let you use your imagination like I did.

You Can’t, didja see the video of that tarmac moment, in which McCain rubs Levi’s arm quite a bit? With that withered hand? ughhh

Did everyone see Tickytack try and make himself look reasonable? Funny stuff, especially if you read it out loud in a upper crust type voice.

I said other: “McCain will marry Palin’s daughter so that she can have a husband with a job.”

> You Can’t, didja see the video of that tarmac moment, in which McCain rubs Levi’s arm quite a bit? With that withered hand? ughhh

McPOW should be staying as far away from anybody less than, say, 88 years old so as not to scare the public too much with the contrast.

I think part of the reason that he never deigned to look at Barack during the debate is that the makeup person, who made something like $5K to do the job, warned him not to move too much or the layers of pancake would fall off.

Mebbe he’s got nothing BUT peripheral vision left: Straight Talk, Crooked Vision. (Forked Tongue.)

Build a flying disembodied head of McCain and have it patrolling Alaskan airspace.

Other:
He gets captured by Al-Qaeda and held in a secret prisoner camp in China, but he manages to escape and kill the guards and also simultaneously rescues our credit from China and restore our economy, making it just in time to avoid postponing the next debate. He then rushes to Alaska to be best man at Bristol’s wedding.

Other: threaten to run away from home, because we can’t stop him!

Other:

Build traveling Hanoi Hilton stage set. Be tortured at every campaign rally.

montysano said,
September 29, 2008 at 0:25 (kill)
Build a flying disembodied head of McCain and have it patrolling Alaskan airspace.

Haven’t we already been here?

>Build traveling Hanoi Hilton stage set. Be tortured at every campaign rally.<

Well, now we’re getting somewhere! If only there were some role that Sarahcuda could play in this stunt……..

Other.
(1) Palin vanishes mysteriously.
(2) Remains in hiding while media speculate about whereabouts.
(3) Rings McCain from Albuquerque, New Mexico, and claims to have been kidnapped and sexually assaulted by a Hispanic male and a white woman.

Earlier, I linked to the story about McCain castigating the media for reporting Palin’s promises to voters as if they actually reflected her policies or opinions (bad biased media!). However, WP kidnapped and sexually assaulted the comment.

Snowwy, are you suggesting that McCain should run on the “guns good, penis bad” platform? I suppose it would solidify the female NRA voters, but he would definitely lose the male vote.

Also, can you imagine McCain in Connery’s suspenders/speedo outfit? Ew.

Some things were not meant to be imagined.

my other: get recaptured by the vietnamese.

The baby’s last name will be Johnston, kids.

Thus Gov. Palin’s grandchild will be something like

Long Dong Johnston (if a boy)
Bristol Speedway Johnston (if a girl.) (This perhaps is too local for Yankees and Separatists to appreciate.)

Where’s the “Free Bristol” website? Too late for her, I suppose. Perhaps she could emigrate to Russia and beg for asylum. Maybe it’s not too late for a second-term abortion there.

MSNBC is kind of fascinating right now if you’re reading Sadly No! and listening to REM on the stereo.

They’re in one of their “Breaking News” moments where they’re so fuckin excited about the Repigs coming out of their conference room that they’ve got a camera trained on the conference room door. There’s some dood in a suit (page, doorman, bouncer?) who’s getting more camera time than McCain’s suspended campaign.

Ooooh Rahm Emanuel!

Kill me now.

Thank you both so very much. I didn’t really need the nutrition from my late lunch. No, not at all.

lolz @ MsNicky

Haven’t we already been here?

Here I thought you were going to link to this…

MORE PENIS COPTER!

Announce that Chuck Norris will be the next secretary of defense. And Scrooge McDuck at Treasury.

It’s hilarious you liberals still think you’re going to win. The Bradley Thingy will destroy Obama, who has ties to Ayers and Rezko and stuff. Also, Obama lost the debate, because Glenn Reynolds has this poll that said he does. I’m going to be laughing when you lose in November.

Pardon me, justme. I am a Youtube novice.

Fake troofy.

Needs to more fully describe everything troofy is feeling and doing currently.

Because someone needs to care, I suppose.

“and stuff”?

Talk about phoning it in.

Work harder, lazy troll. We have standards.

other: Attempt to jump the Straight Talk Express over the Snake River Canyon.

I think it’s time for a sex tape.

Thank you, we have already counted your vote.

Oh, COME ON!

Ooooh Rahm Emanuel!

My lousy frickin’ congressman!

“I’m going to be laughing when you lose in November.”

You forgot the part about being white, dull, and unable to see your own dick.

I’m pretty sure I’ve voted at least 2 or 3 times. Which is how S,N! online polls should work. If we wanted high-minded, mealy-mouthed, non-penis related content, we’d all be bitching about something or other over at the Daily Kos.

In other news of the weird…

A HURRICANE IS HITTING CANADA.

Other: McCain and Palin recruit and go out on the campaign trail with the “I Am John Galt” Guy, the one whose picture is currently featured at the Poorman Institute.

I assume you know which guy I’m talking about; I also assume you’ve grown to love him as much as I.

I figure it’s OK for me to vote several times, so long as it’s for a different option each time.
All the options have won and all must have prizes.

>>Build traveling Hanoi Hilton stage set. Be tortured at every campaign rally.<Well, now we’re getting somewhere! If only there were some role that Sarahcuda could play in this stunt……..<

Opening act … Palin slays, field dresses and butchers a Russian Bear. Tosses red meat into the crowd. Then introduces the headliner show: The Passion of the McCain.

I think I’m getting overexposed to the snark. I haven’t really had a good hard laugh from here since the Alkon engagement, and hadn’t before that for some months.

Gah. I think the Republicans have degraded my ability to appreciate humor.

Steve in Sacto, I am both repulsed and fascinated by my absolute certainty that your proposed show would win them the election.

SARA PALING HAS BEEN OUT OF SITE BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN WORKING A SECRAT DEAL WITH TEH FUCHING FERRETS. SHE HAS DECIDED THAT SHE DOES NOT WANT TO BE VICE PRESIDENT BUT BE PRESIDENT HERSELF. SHE BELEAVES SHE CAN NEGOTIET WITH TEH FUCHING FERRET AND ASSIST THEM WITH BRINGING ABOUT JOHN MCCANES DATE WITH FACE EATING DESTINY AND REPLACE HIM ON THE TICKET. THIS RUMOR IS GIVEN CREEDANCE BY THE REPORTING IN THE RANTOUL ILLINOS PRESS THAT SAID SHE HAS MADE RESARVATIONS IN THE CHEEPEST MOTEL IN TOWN EVEN THOUGH SHE PLANS NO CAMPAIGNE EVENTS THERE. SHE BASES HER CONFIDENACE ON HER PREVIOUS ANTICS OF KILLING AND EATING POLER BEARS AND MEMBERS OF THE WASILA PTA WITH HER BARE HANDS. WHILE A POLER BEAR IS A FORMIDEBAL ENEMY TEH FUCHING FERRET IS ALTOGETHER MORE FEROCIES AND WILY. SHE PLANS ON ANNOUNCING HER USURPATION OF JOHN MCCANE BY BRINGING THE GANAWED HEAD OF JOHN MCCANE ON A MOOSE FEMUR TO THE DEBTATE HALL ON THURSDAY. RATHER THAN BRING AN RPG JOE BIDAN SHOULD ARRIVE IN A BRADLEY VEHICAL AND PUMP HI EXPLOSIVE SHELLS INTO THE FRONT DOOR UNTIL ALL THATS LEFT IS A CRATER SO DEEP JIANG ZEMIN IS WAVING TO HIM FROM THE BOTTOM.

Awesome!!111 !11 !!!!

(1) Palin vanishes mysteriously.
(2) Remains in hiding while media speculate about whereabouts.
(3) Rings McCain from Albuquerque, New Mexico, and claims to have been kidnapped and sexually assaulted by a Hispanic male and a white woman.

Just like Aimee Semple McPherson! I love it! It will bring in the Christian Right in droves!

Thank you, we have already counted not counted your vote.

Fixed.

Also, can you imagine McCain in Connery’s suspenders/speedo outfit? Ew.

Thank you for ruining my dessert. That pie tasted almost as good coming up as it did going down!

You know, whoever is behind Lonny Mortello (and he gets around), is legions above the wanker(s) that sockpuppet our usual cast of parody trolls. Seriously, learn from this. As someone commented at another blog he left one of his little gems on, “that’s some Time Cube grade crazy, right there.”

“The Bradley thingy?” Is that you K-Lo? You japester.
I voted that Mr McCain should crash an aeroplane onto a moose. If the crash could uncover some oil it would be even better.

I haven’t really had a good hard laugh from here since the Alkon engagement, and hadn’t before that for some months.

Oh, that post about Althouse passive-aggressively threatening us with a lawsuit was pretty damn good. IMHO.

Uh, try this instead for my first link.

that’s some virtuoso trolling there. Bravo, Lonny Martello! How did you happen upon our little opera house?

SHE PLANS ON ANNOUNCING HER USURPATION OF JOHN MCCANE BY BRINGING THE GANAWED HEAD OF JOHN MCCANE ON A MOOSE FEMUR TO THE DEBTATE HALL ON THURSDAY.

I’d pay to see this. Can we do a fundraiser?

Here’s the news. I’m covering Lonny’s flank.

He’s the MAN!!

mikey

Look. Tuesday or Wednesday night, Palin’s special needs kid well have a medical emergency and she will not be able to make the debate. They simply cannot let her do this.

Purely hypothetical question: What are the RNC’s options if McP.O.W. pops a blood vessel in his brain, or otherwise dies from one of the many countless system failures that can afflict a man of his age, sometime before election day?

Cindy run in his place?
Bible Spice climb to the top rung and pick an even more unqualified person for the VP slot?
Mad scramble among the seven dwarfs that ran in the repub primaries?
Stuff the corpse and send it back out on the stump?
Other?

Here’s the news. I’m covering Lonny’s flank.

I run a special script to keep Lonny out of any killfile anyone uses anywhere.

McCain announcing his pregnancy is only a good thing if he also announces his intention to marry the 18 year old sirer.

I think they would go to a “video only” campaign, where old footage of McCain would be edited into press releases.

They must be dreaming of it. No more blurted bad policy. No more mavericky moves. No more inappropriate ogling of one’s running mate.

Bristol Palin won’t be getting married. Thursday afternoon, just before the Vice-Presidential debate is to begin, they’ll anounce that Bristol has “miscarried” and that Bible Spice needs to go to her side to comfort her (sorry Joe, this is NO time for a debate), which will solve a number of the McCain campaign’s problems.

Now if only Putin would rear his head over Alaska….

Also, can you imagine McCain in Connery’s suspenders/speedo outfit? Ew.

Thank you for ruining my dessert. That pie tasted almost as good coming up as it did going down!

You are most welcome. BTW, last night I was at a restaurant that offers Impeachment Pie and Obamaberry Pie. I got the Obamaberry with vanilla gelato. We went back and forth whether the Obama desert should have been chocolate. I think maybe a black-owned establishment could pull if off with good taste, but otherwise it might get too close to monkey sock puppet territory.

I happen to live in a reality-based community, so we get lefty politics themed pastries.

Bible Spice climb to the top rung and pick an even more unqualified person for the VP slot?

Please……let it be Alan Keyes!

They have the Levi-Bristol wedding on an oil derrick. Polar bears on ice floes attack. Todd and McCain repel them, McCain actually ripping the Alpha bear’s throat out mano-a-urso. At the end they uncap the rig and victory oil blesses the rig and the wide Alaskan sea. The Sunset is thirteen shades of glory.

Announce the reestablishment of the Third Reich, but this time with more light-hearted zaniness and full-frontal nudity.

I’m guessing that the son in the Army (Torg? Tron?) gets wounded on Thursday, and she has to hastily fly to the hospital in Germany that he gets medevaced to. Then, after some soul-searching, she announces that, much as she would like to stay on, she must reluctantly leave the race to care for her brave, wounded soldier boy*. McCain, acknowledging her brave sacrifice, reluctantly bids her farewell, and replaces her with whatever toady finally says “ok.”

*Torg makes an amazing recovery, and soon he and Levi Babydaddy open up a snowmobile repair shop, which eventually goes bankrupt. Sarah comes in fifth in the 2012 Iowa caucus, behind Huckabee, Romney, Jindal, and Jeb.

We do not believe in American ideals, and they do have the energy independence that I’ve been working on the anniversary, in this post-9/11 world, where we’re going to be action – bipartisan effort – Congress not pointing fingers at one another but finding the solution or not. You know, I don’t think we can go right to tap those resources and unlike other states it’s Alaskans, the residents who live here who own the resources underground. So as they’re tapped, as they’re tapped, as they’re tapped, as they’re tapped, as they’re tapped, as they’re tapped, as they’re tapped, as they’re produced, Alaskans share in the background.

Simba B, I want to start a Lonny Martello fan club. That dude is a brilliant performance artist. I went through those posts you linked to and he comments in a tech blog about Steve Jobs using TEH FUCHING FERRETS to extort iPhone users and just gets ignored, which makes it twice as funny.

Lonny, I want to join your battle against those fucking weasels. Tell me more!

I picked “have Palin slaughter & eat a moose on national TV” – both educational & inspirational to “Teh Base” … but I was THIS close to opting for “other” & suggesting “parachute buck-naked into downtown Teheran with a flamethrower” – hey, at this point, it’d be par for the course.

I’m going to be laughing when you lose in November.

Phoning it in my eye – this is more like tracing it onto onionskin paper by candlelight.

Needs more smarmy malevolence – plus the REAL The Trout would never stoop to “and stuff” … shame on you! Are you trying to bring disrepute on our resident cameo-troll?

I think it’s time for a sex tape.

Okay, NOW I’m disgusted.

McCain…replaces her with whatever toady finally says “ok.”

A very junior member of some insignificant state legislature, but who also has some unusual physical defect or ailment that’s exploited to generate some kind of sympathy momentum.

Maybe a cleft palate, or chronic flatulence.

You are most welcome. BTW, last night I was at a restaurant that offers Impeachment Pie and Obamaberry Pie. I got the Obamaberry with vanilla gelato. We went back and forth whether the Obama desert should have been chocolate. I think maybe a black-owned establishment could pull if off with good taste, but otherwise it might get too close to monkey sock puppet territory.

I don’t know, I think chocolate gelato would have been okay– cute even. Unless the vanilla was to represent Biden and that’s just funny.

Candied arugula.

Ha ha! That Palinator is funny! Ha ha once more in amusement!

Lonny is a true Merican Patriot.
~

A very junior member of some insignificant state legislature, but who also has some unusual physical defect or ailment that’s exploited to generate some kind of sympathy momentum.

I’m thinking an evangelical hermaphrodite might fit the bill.

Meanwhile, Putin rears his head: http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/9/28/21502/0937/455/613815

Lonny is a true Merican Patriot.

Merkin Patriot. Fixed it.

Damnit Tom, don’t blow his cover!

Putin rears his head
Is anyone marketing the novelty condom yet?

Other: Wrestles a shark….with a friggin’ laser beam on its head.

Sheeit, Matt T., I think we grew up in the same town. Were all the not-yet-pregnant girls planning their weddings and the boys wearing knives on their belts so they could gut a deer if they happened to hit it with the Camaro on the way to school? Can run the bushhawg or bale hay, but think a Volvo is a part of the female anatomy? Now there’s more meth and less spittin’ and chewin’, I’m afraid.

Just found these photos of one family in the town I grew up in. Holy shit, indeed.

http://www.mophotoworkshop.org/60/teama/maxwell_dania/index.html

The baby’s last name will be Johnston, kids.

Not neccessarily. Them young’uns ain’t married yet. You think Levi isn’t looking for a chance to bolt the first time he isn’t being watched – and I imagine he’s under constant supervision – you don’t know “fuckin’ redneck” from Shinola.

“Kreger Coondog Palin”

FUCHING FERRETS

I think the baby need some Alaska in its name– how about Denali Coondog Palin?

Other: Wrestles a shark….with a friggin’ laser beam on its head.

Now the swimmer and the female shark saved by him confront each other. For minutes they stare fixedly into each other’s eyes. They swim circling, keeping each other in sight, and each thinking: “I was wrong all along. Here is one more evil than I.” Then in unison they glided underwater towards each other, in mutual admiration, the female shark slitting open the waves with her fins, McCain’s arms thrashing the water; and they held their breaths, in deepest reverence, each one anxious to gaze for the first time upon his living image. Effortlessly, at only three yards apart, they suddenly fell upon one another like two magnets, in an embrace of dignity and gratitude, clasping each other tenderly as brother and sister. Carnal desire soon followed this display of affection. Like two leeches, a pair of nervous thighs gripped tightly against the monster’s viscous flesh, and arms and fins wrapped around the objects of their desire, surrounding their bodies with love, while their breasts and bellies soon fused into one bluish-green mass reeking of sea-wrack, in the midst of the tempest still raging by the light of lightning; with the foamy waves for a wedding bed, borne on an undersea current as if in a cradle, rolling and rolling down into the bottomless ocean depths, they came together in a long, chaste, and hideous mating!

Helena Handbag,
Exchange “Chevy Z71” with “Camaro” (about 10 years earlier), and yep, pretty much. I do know a guy, however, who nailed a pretty good eight-point buck out the driver’s side window of his Ford Ranger on his way to school. He proceeded to finish field dressing it right there in the parking lot before first bell, and only a few folks thought any part of that was tacky. In my high school, you could always find someone who’d loan you a dip during the lunch break. That’s just the kind of Heartlanders we were.

“Skoal Foglight Palin”

Well, as long as we’re making fun…

Purely hypothetical question: What are the RNC’s options if McP.O.W. pops a blood vessel in his brain, or otherwise dies

there’s no Constitutional requirement that Palin succeeds him. So my guess is that if this happens, between Palin, Rudy 9/11 and Mittens there will be an awesome knockdown, dragout, scorched earth, career-destroying free for all to be the top of the ticket.

it would be awesome!! How cool to deflect all that venom and all those lies off Obama and onto their own!

and the coolest thing? probably Palin would come out ahead!

Dear lord, they’re getting married on Election Day. Those poor kids. That’s just…tacky. I didn’t think I could find the Woman From Wassila any creepier than I already did, but there ya go.

However. “Camo Diaper Bag” equals awesome. My baby cousin’s gonna have a little girl at the end of the year, and I know her husband would think that kicks all sorts of ass. She wouldn’t, but it’s not for her anyway.

Dear lord, they’re getting married on Election Day.

No, wait. Not really? You’re fucking kidding me, right?

Dear lord, they’re getting married on Election Day.

It’s fucking brilliant, actually. Will keep all the Democrats from going to the polls.

Oh, wait.

Snowmobile Borealis Palin.
He will be kidnapped by Polar bears and the family will have to go rescue him,”Sorry John-man, but we got to look after the young ‘uns”
The wily old senator pulls out his pump action Manlichher shotgun loaded with bearfat encrusted cartridges. does the Arhnold reloading thing.
“That boys part of my family too, y’hear.”

That’s “Snowmachine Borealis Palin,” thank you very much.

Dear lord, they’re getting married on Election Day. Those poor kids

I had assumed it was a pretty hysterical joke. The box of tools at the end kind of gives it away.

My “other” was:

McCain reveals he has six months to live, asks for one final wish.

Sorry Helena. Snowmobile is a bit effete?

I had assumed it was a pretty hysterical joke. The box of tools at the end kind of gives it away.

Oh, I don’t know. A box of tools, especially a kick-ass 50-piece set, seems to me an appropriate gift for a young couple just starting their new life together. Forever. And ever. With each other. Until they die. And no one else. From 17 until death do them part. Either way, those poor kids.

And I know people who’ve gotten hunting and/or fishing equipment for wedding presents. You coastal elitists probably don’t know about the joys of going out into God’s creation and blasting some of His beloved creatures to jelly with a high-powered Remmington rifle. And then putting their heads on your wall, perhaps wearing sunglasses.

If it’s a boy – King Crab Palin

If a girl – She Crab Palin

Bible Spice McPherson.

Awesome.

You coastal elitists probably don’t know about the joys of going out into God’s creation and blasting some of His beloved creatures to jelly with a high-powered Remmington rifle

Alas, you are so right. I had very lovely stemless wineglasses on my wedding registry, but then again, I have some class.

Other: go over Niagara Falls in a barrel.

I think they would go to a “video only” campaign, where old footage of McCain would be edited into press releases.

My father has not engaged in conversation for at least twenty years. The monologue is his preferred mode of discourse.

I had very lovely stemless wineglasses on my wedding registry, but then again, I have some class.

How many black velvet paintings do you own, then? They can be of Jesus, Elvis or Dale Earnhardt, it don’t matter, ’cause nothing says “class” like black velvet paintings.

Also:

Other: go over Niagara Falls in a barrel.

NIAGRA FALLS! Slowly I turned. Step by step, inch by inch…

I believe that the growth in my head-this head-this one right here. I think that it is not really a tumor… not an uncontrolled, undirected little bubbling pot of flesh… but that it is in fact a new organ… a new part of the brain.

If it is twins: Trick and Treat Bluetick Hound Macpherson

They’re gonna induce labor to the kid will be born on November 3rd!

Other: My friends, I have the body of a dead sasquatch in a freezer and I will reveal it after election day when I am president.

A very junior member of some insignificant state legislature, but who also has some unusual physical defect or ailment that’s exploited to generate some kind of sympathy momentum.
Maybe a cleft palate, or chronic flatulence.

Chronic flatulence would ward off those pesky reporters. So would severe repetitive projectile vomiting. And a running mate with both chronic flatulence and severe repetitive projectile vomiting could overwhelm any opponent in the debates.

During the veep debate, Palin will get one thing right and therefore be declared successful. Biden will get one thing wrong and therefore be declared a failure. If its a girl Staryon Doobage Johnston, if its a boy Steel Huffer Johnston.

My vote? McCain should announce that the US has decided to sell Alaska to China for $4 trillion to offset the massive debt caused by the acquisition of mortgage-backed securities from banks and other entities. Palin will conveniently be forced to resign due to questions surrounding her citizenship status.

Other:

McCain returns to hacienda. Says he plans to sleep for 72 hours. ‘Do you think this shit’s easy?’, he asked reporters. ‘Personally, right now, I don’t give a fuck how America votes’.

I wrote in “tell the truth”, but that’s probably a bit too way out there.

rhinsker @September 29, 2008 at 2:18

other: Attempt to jump the Straight Talk Express over the Snake River Canyon.

ARRRRIGHT! But make it the Grand Canyon. I have a feeling several Native American tribes would get a kick out of watching McCain’s bus go over the edge from that new glass viewing platform.

The fact is, the Palins & Macphersons both are deeply embarassing to us arctic residents, and we spend most of our time denying any sort of familiar relations to these dimwit snowbillies. Maybe the Akhluts would tolerate them, but those louts are a skeevy bunch whose main recreational pasttimes are drinking, incest, petty theft and domestic violence. Gives them something in common, I guess. Ofttimes, the Akhluts use the snowbillies as fallguys for their meth labs.

BTW, up here, saying “Snowmobile” gets you instantly marked as an outsider. It’s “Snow machine,” with the word machine prounouced “M’shine.”

Oh yeah – and Matt T. – I think we went to the same high school. Or maybe some Hellmouth spat mirror images of the one, true, primal Hellschool out at various Redneckistan locations.

“Purely hypothetical question: What are the RNC’s options if McP.O.W. pops a blood vessel in his brain, or otherwise dies?”

there’s no Constitutional requirement that Palin succeeds him. So my guess is that if this happens, between Palin, Rudy 9/11 and Mittens there will be an awesome knockdown, dragout, scorched earth, career-destroying free for all to be the top of the ticket.

MONSTER TRUCKS AT NORFOLK’S SCOPE COLLISEUM, SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!

In the Canadian oilpatch we call ’em sleds.

America McCain Palin. The beauty is that it works for either sex.

McCain/Palin BDSM Sex Video FTW!!!

Proposal: make a movie. “The Hunt for Red November,” starring John McSame as Sonarman 2nd Class Ronald Jones, and Sarah Palin as the torpedo that circles around and sinks her own pigboat.

If it’s a boy, My Little Johnston.

If it’s a girl, Torpedo Tube Johnston.

That’s why we have the opportunity and the pragmatism that’s needed at a cross-roads also. We’d either better be done safely, prudently, and it changed my life. Charlie, if there is a grand – the grand plan. That’s what that comment was all about, Charlie. And I would never presume to know what God’s will or to speak with him with no preconditions being met. Diplomacy is about reform of government and it’s about 20% of the United States should try to restore Georgian sovereignty over South Ossetia and Abkhazia?