Sweet Emotional Imbalance

match made in hell

ABOVE: Love in an elevator


Yeah, yeah, yeah — Palin economy war blah blah blah. The important thing is, our asses are getting sued!

Yes, it’s true: famous law blogger Ann Althouse, who is not at all an unhinged drunk who sits around her cat-infested Wisconsin Lustron house sipping cut-rate Franzia inventing extravagant reasons to be offended, has long despised the practice of a certain blog of allowing people to post obviously satirical comments on her nonsensical ramblings under assumed names (such as, oh, I don’t know, “Ann Althouse’s Undiagnosed Hebephrenia”). And now, with the help of her rock ‘n’ roll boyfriend, Steven Tyler of Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, she’s going to litigate us back to the Stone Age!

For you see, by allowing people to post as if they were Ann Althouse (who, we would like to emphasize for any future depositions, is not in any way a demented bottle blonde whose tragic career arc would drive her to despair if it were not for the existence of Charles Shaw merlot), we are, as were the ruffians who so dismayed the co-author of “Bone to Bone (Coney Island Fish Boy)”, making public disclosure of private facts, making false statements, and misappropriating her valuable likeness.

Unfortunately, as much as we would like to see this matter settled amicably out of court, Ms. Althouse — who is not the person once described by one of her law students as “that humorless, insufferable old pedant who used to live above the cut-rate until they threw her out for attracting the wrong kind of person” — would not return our phone calls. Oh, if only she would contact us in some way! Say, in the Comments section of this very post! I wonder what she would have to say…


Ann Althouse adds: I DID NOT WRITE THIS!!!!!


Tintin adds: Ah, but Ms. Althouse, we are on to the silly game that you are playing. In fact, some, if not all, “Ann Althouse” commenters are actually you impersonating someone impersonating you. You are engaged in this transparent charade so that you could manufacture grounds for a lawsuit against us. But we’ve consulted our New York law firm and they’ve told us that because you are really behind the “Ann Althouse” comments that you dispute, your argument that we are harming your professional reputation is now a slander against us, which we will not take lightly, no-siree, we will not. Drink the expensive stuff now while you can still afford it. When our New York Law Firm has finished with you, you’ll be drinking Grape Kool-Aid and Everclear Sterno and pretending it’s Pinot Noir.

 

Comments: 194

 
 
Little Annie Fannie
 

They want me to go to rehab, but I said no no no.

Did you know I can queef in three languages?

 
 

I’m curiously strong.

 
 

Who left Steve Tyler’s face in a hot car?

 
ann althouse's left nut
 

Don’t make me call the prestigious New York law Firm!

 
 

This is exactly what I’m talking about.

You kids are going to be in huge trouble after I ‘convince’ Steven Tyler to join me in a class action suit against you foul mouthed, snotty brats.

And I drink the Vendage, not that Charles Shaw crap.

 
 

What does Clinton’s boobs have to do with it?

 
 

That commenter at 22:44 is NOT ME, and I SERIOUSLY disapprove of shenanigans like this!!! I am a law professor and know what I am talking about!

 
 

Who the hell is Ann Althouse?

 
Ann Althouse's cats
 

Please make this crazy woman stop calling us her ‘Wubbies’.

What the hell is a Wubbie, anyway?

 
 

If were Ann Althouse, I’d be more offended by this than by Jessica Valenti having breasts. (And I voted for Bill Clinton and Sanjaya, I’ll have you know – although I blinked it in code.)

 
 

Hey, we are now a “prominent blog.” I sure bet that Tbogg — the “somewhat popular blogger” — is going to be really pissed when he finds out that we now outrank him on the definitive Althouse Blog Ranking Index.

 
 

Ann is very convincing after she suckled me from the cardboard box of love.

 
Miss Havishalthouse
 

Of course my fame is comparable to Steven Tyler… and I’ve been told I bear a remarkable resemblance to his daughter Liv!

Well, of course we used to go to the grandest parties together, but then… then…

And I shall not leave Bascom Hill until I have avenged myself…

 
 

That is exactly why I’m suing!

 
 

To be perfectly honest? I’ve been dead for years – that necklace is the only thing holding my head on in that photo. Spooky!

 
 

Wait, how did I get here?

 
 

Please tell me where that elevator is.

 
 

In a lawsuit filed in Los Angeles, Tyler, 60, said he didn’t know the real names of those who have impersonated him and girlfriend Erin Brady on the Web, but he believes the same group was responsible for similar postings in 2007.

Could it be…

anonymous‽‽‽

 
 

You are very naughty kids. I will be contacting my lawyers just as soon as I finish this fine glass of Argentinian Malbec.

 
Ann Althouse's Narcissistic Spirals
 

 
 

Wait a second.

Tyler has a girlfriend?

I need a drink.

 
Ann's AtTylersHouse
 

And I’m getting some speshul legal advice whilst I’m there! So beware, Sadly, No! because Steven Tyler is aware of all internet traditions, and how to put a stop to them!

 
Ann Althouse's Wine Box
 

She lips the spout, you know. Dreadful.

 
 

Could it be…

anonymous???

I believe it to be the ghost-like Not Me character from the Family Circus. That little bastard is always doing stuff that points to me, but it’s Not Me!

I need a drink. Several even. Then I’ll be better able to deal with Althousianism on its own special terms.

 
 

Merlot’s not just for breakfast anymore.

 
Crazy as an Althouse Rat
 

And when I’m done with you losers, I’m going to sue the pantyhose off the little shit who posted my home phone number on the men’s room wall at The Tinkerbell Show Club.

 
Tim (The Other One)
 

The fact is; prominent !

 
 

Tyler is a “chubby chaser?” After the prospect of a trillion dollar rim job at the whim of our esteemed Congressmen, that nugget made my day!

 
 

This is outrageous! I am outraged! This is, without question or hyperbole, the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone in the history of time.

 
 

shrugs

 
The Pimple on Ann Althouse's Starboard Testicle
 

I’m havin’ a hot flash — I think I’m gonna POP!

 
 

What a maroon! A card, even!

 
 

The fact is, talk to my lawyers.

 
 

” Let me out! How’d I get in this bloody big nutshell?”

 
 

Is there a S, N legal defense fund we can contribute to?

 
 

The best part is that she likens someone impersonating Tyler and writing about the death of his mother and such with a bunch of jerks name stealing in the comments section of a blog.

We need to get some cash together and buy that woman a fainting couch.

She’s on her own for the pearl necklace.

 
 

Who are you calling a jerk, jerk?

 
 

Is there a S, N legal defense fund we can contribute to?

Sadlesty International is always accepting donations.

 
 

She’s on her own for the pearl necklace.

Only if it comes directly from Steven Tyler!

 
Ann Althouse's vanity mirror
 

Not you my dear.

 
 

“She’s on her own for the pearl necklace.”

Only if it comes directly from Steven Tyler!

Ew.

 
 

You fascist little turds will be sorry when you get that 3:00 am phone call and I start ring-a-dinging your employers, as if any of you even have jobs, you tiny-dicked little fucknozzles. And quit paying attention to that other bitch who totally stole my initials so she’s going to be hearing from me as well.

 
I'm Ann Althouse and You're Not
 

I, Ann Althouse, disapprove of my name (Ann Althouse) being appended to posts which are not actually written by me, Ann Althouse. Ann I Althouse believe that it is Ann Althouse unsporting and quite Althouse uncouth Ann. Honestly, Alt it is juvenile House and Ann not Althouse funny.

 
 

I am Ann Althouse.

 
 

Libertarianism 4evah!!!1!

 
Anne of Green Gables
 

Get off my lawn!

Oh merde, who put this shit moat here?

 
 

ONION RING VORTEX OMG!!eleven1!

 
 

I am Steve Tyler.

 
Da Real Ann Althouse
 

Yo! Biznitches best be treadin’ slowly on yo games an’ sheeit, else I bust a righteous lawsuit on yo asses!

Tru talk, my wiggas, I ain’t down fo’ no games and shit. I’s an attorney!

 
Average Internets User
 

Hi, I found my way to this chat room after running a Googles for my favorite commentator and legal expert, Ann Althouse. I must say, the comments in this internet from Professor Althouse seem very unusual for her! I am sorely disappointed in the rambling and disjointed nature of these comments, and I am less likely to visit her original blog in the future. I guess you could say she has diluted her brand, in my opinion! I’m surprised that she would say such things in such a crazy place like this, but that’s her name right there, so it must be her.

Really, Professor Althouse, I’m disappointed. You’ve spent so many years carefully establishing a brand and reputation, and it all comes crashing down with these chats.

I’m so disappointed that I’m willing to sign affidavits confirming my confusion and disappointment, or testify at deposition to that effect.

 
 

Sadly, No! may be aware of all internet conventions, but they are out-of-touch with the way people click around on the web. This loose clicking can cause people to suddenly lose all their sense of humor, and take a random comment in the middle of a satirical thread as a serious legal opinion from a qualified law professor. And I should know – I was clever enough to invent a word ‘anti-Althousiana’ to describe people who unaccountably don’t share my not-at-all-inflated opinion of myself.

 
 

OK, I admit it. I needed the laughs today. Thank you all.

 
 

I am only interested in the prominent.

 
 

Althouse althouse?

Althouse althouse alhouse althouse?

Althouse Althouse!!

Althouse.

 
 

I will join in the class action, but only if I can be a top.

 
 

I don’t even know his last name. My mama would be so ashamed.

 
 

Ann, Steve…

Just FYI…

Ambien is a helluva drug.

 
 

Didn’t Alt+Home move to Brooklyn last year? I think I read that at Tristam Shandy or Instaputz, with much handwringing and shame-facedness from the Heights crowd.

 
 

I suppose the next trick up your immature sleeve will be to see how many oh-so-amusing anagrams you can list of the name of me, Ann Althouse. Stuff like

Alone Haunts
Ethanol Anus
A Unleash Ton
A Anon Hustle
Aha None Slut
Anal Eon Tush
Nasal Hen Out
Satan Lone Uh
Hate Also Nun
Ale Anon Tush
Alone Ha Nuts
Sane Hula Not
Eat Ulna Nosh

and so forth. Aren’t you just the cleverest little smart-alecks. You’ll think smarty-pants when my lawyer contacts you about this further abuse of my name, Ann Althouse.

 
 

I’ll be watching thisthe vomit dry on my day-glo green tube top, since I have a problem with a prominent blog allowing commenters to comment in my name drinking. I’ve asked the blogger to remove those comments the potato chip from my ass and he has pointedly refused. (The blogger who denied my requests asserts that anyone reading the comments would know it’s fake, but this is self-serving and out-of-touch with the way people click around on the web and are not necessarily familiar with a particular blog’s humor.)

Also, I have a grammar problem.

Also, I will gladly pay you Tuesday for some MD 20/20 today.

 
The Goddamn Batman Hasn't Done The "Ann Althouse's Whatever" Schtick In An Age So CHILLAX OUT, YO
 

Well, IANAL and whatnot but, way I sees it, claiming to be “Ann Althouse’s Slowly Tilting Wineglass” and so forth isn’t the same as claiming to be La Althouse herself, so unless she’s filing suit on behalf of her wineglass, cleavage, hebephrenia, and so forth, she got diddly squat.

P.S. I should also note, for the satire-challenged, that I am not in fact The Goddamn Batman, although I did kick his ass that one time. Rock over London, Rock on Chicago!

 
 

Didn’t Alt+Home move to Brooklyn last year? I think I read that at Tristam Shandy or Instaputz, with much handwringing and shame-facedness from the Heights crowd.

Not that this should be considered stalking, posting such general information, even tho the moron has posted enough fucking photos of her neighborhood and view out her window that I figured out her apartment number by the second week of the semester…

 
 

Sorry, couldn’t help myself. *tee hee*

Regards,

Not the Goddamn Batman

 
 

They deserve each other.

 
 

What would you get if you mated Ann Althouse and Amy Alkon?

Punchline anyone?

 
 

You forgot “Aloha Ennuts”, Ann.

 
 

I’m kosher, so all of you fucking liberal jews can eat me!

 
 

What would you get if you mated Ann Althouse and Amy Alkon?

A Tom of Finland film?

 
 

.gniog ro gnimoc m’I rehtehw tuo erugif neve t’nac I .ti tegrof ,tihS ?niaga gnius I saw ohW

 
 

Look, I’m a lawyer. I can argue it round or argue it square. I would rather get really drunk and argue with passers-by until they come and make me spend a night in the Tombs. I can file a lawsuit, bitches! Just me and my precious. My sweet, sweeet precious.

 
 

Oh, dear lord (assuming there is one), please let Ann Althouse sue these fine folks at SN! and please, oh please, let them decide to hire me to represent them. The opportunity to cross-examine that nutball is just too exciting for words, let me tell you.

A guy can dream………………………………….

 
Bitter Scribe, who is definitely not Ann Althouse,
 

Someone needs to tell her that “I’ll be watching yoooooooou” is Sting, not Steven Tyler.

 
 

My friends, all of you many Ann Althouses, please be assured that I do not approve of blog commenters stealing the names of prominent individuals to make their so-called “jokes.”

If elected, I promise to

 
 

[THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SUSPENDED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE]

 
 

What would you get if you mated Ann Althouse and Amy Alkon?

Just off the top of my head:

A Anathema Slunk Loony
A Manana Sellout Honky
A Hyaena Molluskan Ton
A Neonatal Humans Yolk
A Neonatal Unmask Holy
A Neonatal Mauls Honky
A Sealant Humanly Nook
A Antenna Ahoy Mollusk
A Lanthanum Sake Loony
A Anathema Sunk Only Lo
A Ayatollah Men Sunk On
A Salaam Hoke Nylon Nut
A Hyaena Lank Lust Moon
A Hyaena Amok Null Snot
A Hyaena All Stunk Moon

 
 

Hold me, y’all. I’m so askeert. This has the potential of blowing millions of BBQ grills over, and such despair for nothing.

 
 

@esuohtlA nnA:

Gesundheit.

 
 

I reject the positive content of empirical knowledge entirely. I assert that Essence is not to be found in Appearance, but must be discovered through ’theoretical practice’. History features in Marx’s Capital as an object of theory, not as a real object, as an ’abstract’ (conceptual) object and not as a real-concrete object. Thus, as in Kant, the ’real’ history lies in a ’beyond’, behind the ’theory of history’, which is the only true object of knowledge.

We MUST seize the means of production of drama vortexes!

 
Ann Althouse's unfortunate liver
 

Just you kids wait. I’ll have you trapped in my shit-moat.

 
 

I’m late to this thread and want to point out that every fucking Ann Althouse parody has already been done goddamnit.

 
Caribou - 100% Witch Free - Barbie
 

From my house on Frozenmooseistan I can see Ann Althouse and she’s NOT her!

Oh, wait …

Her’s not she … uh … not she her … er … her she not?

Hershey’s Chocolate Bar?

 
 

Anything we can do to help?

 
Mickey Kaus' Mom, Ann Althouse
 

BBQ grills? Is that some new name for goats? I’ll tell Mickey.

 
 

Every single one.

 
 

Steve Tyler looks like a perfect cross between Mick and Bianca Jagger.

 
The Great Intertoobz Angrammatizer Thing
 

What would you get if you mated Ann Althouse and Amy Alkon?

For starters

An Anathema Sulky Loon
An Ayatollah Smoke Nun
Neonatal Anomaly Husk
Anally Unmeant Hookas
Annual Loathsome Yank
Alumnae Anal Thy Nooks

 
ann althouse's cervical polyp
 

Thou shalt not take my mistress’s Name in vain!
You’ll pay for this mockery, you meddling youngsters!

UNLEASH THE ATTORNEYS WITH BEES IN THEIR SUITCASES!

Nyah hah hah hah haaaaaaa!

 
 

When Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace you will all be very sorry you made fun of this post-feminist lawyer with inscrutable scruples.

h/t ifthethunderdon’tgetyou

(What kind of America-hating hippie would use a GD line as their tag?)

 
 

My name is Jack Warden and I’m an actress.

 
 

MOAR pics 4 fapping plz

 
 

Ann Althousser said,

I reject the positive content of …

Weren’t You AltHusserl in another life?

 
 

Feel how loose my skin is on my cheekbones. Can whine do that?

 
 

How does Tyler sue someone he can’t identify?

 
 

Oh noez!
LOLSUIT!!!11!!1!

If you can’t take the snark, get off teh fucking Interwebs, woman.

It’s obvious the REAL reason she’s suing you: to keep you from buggering up the results of her narcissistic AutoGoogling ritual. Someone needs to tell her that such pathetic digital mirror-gazing is the true hallmark of a chronic goombah.

Good grief.

Can’t we all just chip in & get the self-righteous old sow a sense of humor?

 
 

I’m late to this thread and want to point out that every fucking Ann Althouse parody has already been done goddamnit.

Picture time!

#################################
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#################################
#################################
#################################
#################################
#################################
#################################
###MY###########################
##REFLECTION####################
#################################
#############BAN#BALTHOUSE#####
##################LOOKING GLUM#
####################IN FRONT#####
##################OF A WINDOW###

 
The Opposite of Ann Althouse
 

You are SO gonna get sued now, boy.

 
 

Who is this Ann fellow? I’d like to share a large box of a simply stunning chablis I have discovered nestled in a forgotten grotto at the Ralph’s in El Segundo.

 
The Opposite of Ann Althouse
 

cat-infested

I resent that!

 
Anally Unmeant Hookas
 

Hey! We had some class until YOU associated us those two thrift-store Cult-ers.

 
The Opposite of Ann Althouse
 

In a lawsuit filed in Los Angeles, Tyler, 60, said he didn’t know the real names of those who have impersonated him and girlfriend Erin Brady on the Web,

Put Amy Alkon on the case. She’ll get to the bottom of this!

 
 

I, too, have been the target of commeters impersonating me and trying to make me sound foolish.

 
 

Hell, babe, I woulda thought Scott Stapp would sue you guys LONG before Steven Tyler.

Rock on…

mikey

 
 

Ann Althouse, Amy Alkon… yet another way SadlyNo is like Superman, where all the supporting characters (Lois Lane, Lex Luthor, Lana Lang) have the same double initials.

 
 

Would I Lie to you honey?

 
 

Ya no se burlen de mi babosos! Los voy a demandar, nada mas termine con estas cajas de vino.

Y quien es el tal Leonardo este? Lo voy a forzar a que use su lengua en mi vortice de drama!

 
 

Have you ever noiticed how calimari looks like Hillary Clinton?

 
Ann Althouse's Clitoris
 

Why will no one touch me?!

/pout

 
 

These are the things we’ve left behind!!!!!

 
 

All.
One.
Guy.

 
 

Hi. I’m new to the Internet. My name is Ann Althouse. I want to know who this impostor is using my name. She is damaging my reputation and I want it stopped.

If there are any attorneys reading willing to help me with my case, please say so in comments and I will contact you.

Thank you,

Ann Althouse
Honolulu

 
 

Guys, guys, hey you guys, you’re ignoring ME!

ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!

 
 

My immigrant vagina is angry!

 
 

What say you, mikey?

What was that? Creed Suxxors?

Don’t you mean CREED SUCKS!!!1!

 
 

Only six comments on the linked Althouse post. I think she just mentions SN! to get the hits.

.

 
 

Anybody seen the TP?

 
 

Bleep!11!1!!

Ginnip gazort finini pluh!1

KazaaaaAAAAHHHH!1elvene!

 
 

Ach de Lieber! I’m running out of whine and marks that will provide it.

 
 

Bible Spice said,

September 25, 2008 at 23:42

When Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace you will all be very sorry you made fun of this post-feminist lawyer with inscrutable scruples.

h/t ifthethunderdon’tgetyou

(What kind of America-hating hippie would use a GD line as their tag?)

The kind that would store their youtube empire here.

I’m Ann Althaüs™³²®©, and I approve this message!

 
 

Vapid airheads unite. When we’ve finished this glass. Erm. Is American Idol on? Maybe later.

 
 

Shiny Thing!

You make my brain swing!

You make everything…

Oh look…Clenis!

 
Am I Ann Althouse?
 

We are all Ann Althouse.

 
 

I am Ann Althouse. Always was, as a matter of fact.

 
 

I dispute “cat-infested” because of the logical fallacy of your argument.

The only way Ann Althouse would have a lot of cats would be if she were kind and took them in. It would require some compassion for those in trouble.

I rest my case.

 
 

Wow. The decades of substance abuse and life on the tour bus have not been kind to Mr. Tyler.

Who’s the guy on the right, anyway?

 
 

Uh…hello. May I please speak to (snerk!) Ann Althouse?

 
 

Who’s the MILF next to the doughy blonde?

 
 

The Althouse can’t think how to sit
On the end with poo or the end with shit?

 
 

I am not Ann Althouse.

Luckiest thing that could happen to anyone, I might add.

 
Amy Alkon's Adam's Apple
 

I admit it — I forged the Althouse comments.

 
 

What’s the big deal with Ann Althouse? I wrote a post saying that mentally ill people are a drain on society.

Why won’t people pay attention to me? Me, me, me!! My parents paid $38,000. a year for my prep school education. That means I’m worth half a million more than any smelly old mentally ill person.

 
 

We have to get beyond the “great drinker” view of history and look at the ordinary conditions of producing wineboxes, the everyday experience of those folding them. Huge Sanjaya-like “events” are not our focus, and it is– WHEEE FLOWERS!!!!

 
Amy-Ann Alkonhouse
 

Well, I hope you little turds are happy now. I, Amy-Ann Alkonhouse, for one, or two I (we) guess, am/are not in the least bit amused by you juvenile delinquents. In fact, we are now pursuing a class-action suit on behalf of all the innocent people on all the Internets who have been maliciously maligned and ridiculed, mocked, scorned, parodied, satirized, virtually sodomized, victimized, patronized, condescended to, made sport of, and had mean things said about them and in any shape way or form not idolized by each and every one of the disgusting dirty foul-mouthed little fascists who has ever posted a comment on this idiotic “blog.” You are ALL put on notice! That includes YOU, Gary Ruppert and Truth and goober-booger! ALL of you!

 
 

I can read it perfecly well Trebeck. It says ‘anal tea house’!

 
 

Please stop harassing me!

You there! You! With the glasses on! What are YOU looking at???

*hic*

 
 

famous law booger Ann Althouse

Fixed yer post.

 
Ann Althouse's Scuba Instructor
 

Why does this woman need two wetsuits?

 
 

Thank you Mr. Leonard Pierce for this much-needed interlude of comic mayhem. I for one needed that!

 
 

The fact is, all of you will be arrested for mocking Ms. Althouse.

 
 

If Sadly No! wants to take up a collection to help their friend, Ms. Ann Althouse, sue blogs, I’d like to make a donation. She’s clearly a little lost when it comes to legal issues and can use the help. I don’t consider donating to her legal representation enabling. As long as she continues to attend AA meetings and pursues professional psychological assistance, she’ll be okay.

 
 

I strenuously object to Ann Althouse(TM) hogging the comments to this post. This kind of trollish behavior cannot go unpunished, ie, un-sued for.

 
Ann Althouse's Judge
 

Ms. Althouse, I highly recommend that you not represent yourself as you are clearly mentally unfit.

 
 

For my suit, I will need two sheets of MOD plywood and some carpenter’s glue, along with some drywall screws and a power sander.

 
 

They’re assassinating me! Assassinationally! And they’re doing it in an assassinatory tone.

 
 

two sheets of MOD plywood and some carpenter’s glue, along with some drywall screws and a power sander.

Please also add:

– two quarts organic tahini
– a pair of rubber gloves (large)
– surgical-grade cotton batting
– several plastic bags (clear – the kind from the dry cleaners will do fine)
– one 1959 Nash Rambler (manual transmission, 3-on-the-column)

Thanks.

 
 

Wait, am I still here.

 
The Artist Formerly Known as Ann Althouse
 

VOGUE!!!!

 
 

What is it with Republican lawyers who don’t know shit about the law?

 
 

What is it with Republican lawyers who don’t know shit about the law?

Two words: Liberty University.

“Liberty” loosely translates to freedom from talent, ability, knowledge, ethics, sense, reason, humility, and passing grades.

 
 

Sorry… I’m looking for the Dan Saltmouse convention. Is this it?

Oh, what’s that you say? Next door.

Ok well thank you for yo… OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!

 
 

I’ll take “Famous titties” for $500, Alex…

 
 

Scott said,

September 26, 2008 at 2:29

What is it with Republican lawyers who don’t know shit about the law?

Hey Nao!

I noe plenty about teh law. I know I don’t like it!

 
 

I’m deeply disappointed that I didn’t write all the posts in this comments section.

 
 

hey she linked to you!! She *really* must be desperate for attention.

 
 

Have I mentioned my magic

All
One
Guy

Theory?

 
 

I am NOT Anne Althouse. (although, like Anne Althouse, I am also full of shit)

 
 

this is beautiful. also, I wanted to post something else under my real pseudonym, so that I will not be one of the many people who post here tomorrow with an accidental pseudonym.

 
 

buskertype said,

September 26, 2008 at 3:00

this is beautiful. also, I wanted to post something else under my real pseudonym, so that I will not be one of the many people who post here tomorrow with an accidental pseudonym.

If you’ve been injured in an accident with an accidental pseudonym, you may be entitled to a large cash rewad!

 
 

I’m Ann Althouse and so is my wife!

Did no one get this one yet? Slow day, few nerds.

 
 

Hi Guys,

I just wanted to pop in and let everyone know that I support the unrestrained murder of children under the age of 5.

I also think that Osama Bin Laden did a great job and will be sending more money his way.

GO YANKEES!!!

 
Ann Althouse's Dry Cleaner
 

Who woulda thought that tears and chablis running together make an almost impenetrable stain?

 
 

wine-box…breasts…onion rings….arrrrrgh!!!

 
 

Will the REAL Ann Althouse please stand up?

 
 

…how many oh-so-amusing anagrams you can list of the name of me, Ann Althouse.

A-One Tan Lush?

 
 

I am NOT Ann Althouse, but like her, I’ve been drunk since 3:30 PM.

 
 

We are all Ann Althouse.

 
 

“I’m a law professor, and sometimes I write about law.” but most of the time I write about me, myself and I, and I encourage you to write about me too.

 
 

Alex Trebek: That’s Ann Althouse, not anal tea house.

Sean Connery: I can read, Trebek. That says Anal Tea House. I’ve spent five years of my life trying to invent an anal tea house: failing to do so is my greatest regret.

 
 

GODDAMN FIRST AMENDMENT!!1eleventy!1!

 
 

Youz all thinks sher sooo sssmart doncha. Well lemme tellya what yer allgonna be sshorry reeell shoon busters. [crashing sound] aw shiittt now what. Fuckin catts all OVER tha playce goddmit. Hey yous ovah thayr git outa that mesh! ‘s MINE!! [falls off chair, heaves cats into next room, starts slurping spilled wine off the linoleum floor]

 
Ann Althouse, Anal Tea House Proprietor
 

It’s not the tea that’s anal, it’s the house. FYI.

 
 

I’m going to do another vlog! Ooooh, look, I can see myself in this wineglass. I wonder what a fish would look like through a fisheye lens. Why is the sky blue?

 
Mehitabel the Abyssinian
 

her cat-infested Wisconsin Lustron house
Cats do not ‘infest’; we ‘enhance’. Mister Leonard Pierce is asking for a fur-ball on his pillow.

 
 

I want a piece of that action.

 
 

and so can you!

 
 

I, Ann Althouse, am very disappointed in all of you, who are not Ann Althouse, for not waking me, Ann Althouse from my, possessed by me, Ann Althouse, who you are not, nap this evening to tell me, The Ann Althouse who is actually Ann Althouse, the person who non-Ann Althouses are not, that I, the one true Ann Althouse, had done something.
Further, I, the person in the process of being Ann Althouse, am going to sue the person who is not me, the real Ann Althouse please standing up, who tried to cop this bit about saying Ann Althouse, meememememememeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, from me, Ann “Ann Althouse” Althouse. This bit was incredibly original and difficult to come up with and I, me, the not you, the genuine Ann Althouse, deserve money.

 
 

Call me the scarlet pimpernel, after my favorite brand of chablis.

 
Amy Alkon's Testicles
 

I’m planning a lawsuit (which I will file and argue myself, I once beat a fancy-pants New York lawyer, y’know) if you guys don’t turn this fucking blog around and start talking about ME again RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

 
Ann Althouse's Ego Says
 

Look, I know I’m … well … plus size but gimme a break, I gotta live in Wisconsin. You ever see the size of the heifers here? It’s the most obese state in the union (look it up). By comparison, I’m freaking’ Angelina Jolie. So yeah, when some little turds fail to pay homage to my greatness, well, it hurts, ya know?

The superego? Haven’t seen that prick for years. Good riddance, I say…

 
 

Hello, reading comprehension. I was just joking, of course I was joking. Why would have I even linked to you? I linked to you so you could predictably ape me while I then accuse you of falling into my trap and failing to exhibit READING COMPREHENSION.

 
 

Lawsuit? Consider yourselves lucky! I have to sit across the table from her every night.

 
 

I hate big breasts and I cannot lie
You other law profs can deny
When my rather fat ass sees a really nice rack go past
I get stung
Wanna save the picture
To discuss later

So ladies (Huh?)
Ladies (Huh?)
Want to cover those sweater puppies? (Uh, no!)
Dial 1-900-Sue-a-lot and discuss size of cup
Althouse hates racks!

38 Triple D demicup?
Only if her BMI is over 40
Althouse hates racks!

 
 

Tyler has a girlfriend?

Well, duh. He has grandkids, one of them 1/4 elvish.

 
 

If you’ve been injured in an accident with an accidental pseudonym, you may be entitled to a large cash rewad!

I’ve never been with a man long enough to have a rewad.

 
 

Yes, like many women such as myself Ann doesn’t blink when attacked by… yes… well, the point is steadfast and when it rears it’s head, we are keeping an eye on our airspace. and Ann knows this because she puts country first and you know Ann is a woman and I hope that those people, I’m sorry, uh, OK, yes. I am personally outraged.

 
 

The vlogger known only as “A.Althouse” has posted her brilliant manifesto:

 
Steven Tylers' Weiner
 

YO! Steve!

Dude, we can do SO much better than this “Outhouse” woman.

Please, Please, PLEASE!!! Don’t make me go in there again! It’s so dark and scary!

Seriously, dude, you’re a ROCK star!*

*In a video game, but hey, what video game are YOU in, hater?

 
Steven Tyler Durden
 

I am Ann Althouse’s liver…

 
 

Erotik giyim , iç giyim , fantazi giyim , gecelik , erotik iç giyim , seks giyim , sex giyim , fantazi giyim , erotic giyim , jartiyer , erotik kostüm

 
 

penis büyütücü,do?al penis büyütme,penis büyütme,penis,penis büyütücüler

 
 

zay?flama hap?, ki?isel bak?m ürünleri

 
 

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