The GOP Yeast Infection
First it was AbsorbShun. Then came (har!) SPUR-M.
And now it’s time we go back to our roots — vaginas:
Being over the age of 14, I know a thing or two about women, and about vaginas.
Now that would be a contestant for the Who Said It? game! Did anyone guess Kyle Williams? The answer is… Steve Pudlo!
Which brings us to the latest fad in the feminist lexicon: The Vagina Monologues. The play doesn’t identify women as women, but as vaginas, as if the two terms are interchangeable. They aren’t. A woman has a brain, a vagina doesn’t. A woman can appreciate beauty, a vagina can’t. A woman can think, reason, laugh, play, scold, frown and frolic – a vagina is merely a smallish subset of the above.
A woman can’t bear to have contact with Jonah Goldberg. A vagina can.
One method of testing the sensibility of a concept is to see if it works on the flip side. Imagine, if you will, the “Penis Monologues”? Imagine men being reduced to their penises? They aren’t men any more, simply penises. And imagine a bunch of guys standing up talking about their anatomy. Can you really imagine anything so puerile? So silly? So boring?
Yes, America can!* And if Puppetry of the Penis won’t do it for you, The Corner has an abundant supply of dicks (K-Lo’s is the biggest.)
Dear readers, do you believe in miracles? Is there a god in your world? A god… of comedy setup lines?
As for me, I’ve seen enough vaginas. And I’m gonna keep my $15 and maybe buy my lady a little something to show her how much she means to me.
May we recommend this?
If you feel too wet, just dust your man?s penis with a little AbsorbShun (try about a half teaspoon) and continue making love. Be careful not to use too much. You?ll feel the difference in just a minute or two. You can have the wetness and tightness you want by how much and how often you use AbsorbShun. It’s that simple!
Bonus points: Here is Steve, shortly before he appeared on Pimp My Ride.
* Alternate bonus joke: Isn’t that what Fox & Friends is all about?
Thanks to Steve at No More Mister Nice Blog for the link.
“Imagine men being reduced to their penises? They aren’t men any more, simply penises. And imagine a bunch of guys standing up talking about their anatomy. Can you really imagine anything so puerile? So silly? So boring?”
This guy better watch it! Many Republicans were frat boys in college, and talking about your schlong is a cornerstone of frat life (well, that and elephant-walking, plus something about brotherhood, and, uh, doing some charity event every now and then to justify your silly existence…)
Speaking of pictures, and Steve’s is very lovely hehindeed, check your Sebly mail, Dear Sebly. I’ve got a picture of Dick Cheney in flagrante dilicto with a moose!*
*Not really.
*sigh*
Isn’t her face, her life, her pathetic psychoses & neuroses ENOUGH punishment???
What I really love is how this dumbass woman thinks that she INVENTED CORNSTARCH.
Right.
And I invented porn.
Aren’t they slipping a little bit? The right wingers? The Vagina Monologues have been around for at least 4 years (or so), and they’re only just now getting around to vilifying it?
There is no way that dude has ever seen a vagina that he didn’t have to buy.
If you feel too wet, just dust your man?s penis with a little AbsorbShun (try about a half teaspoon) and continue making love.
Just a spoonful of AbsorbShun makes the penis feel big, in a most delightful way!
Love your blog, but I’m not sure how much more Absorb-shun I can take. It makes me queasy.
I think all the women Steve Pudlol has ever been intimate with should be allowed to weigh in on how much he knows about vaginas. I’m guessing he doesn’t know anywhere near as much as he thinks he knows.
And if that is his real picture…hmm, is he overcompensating for something that may be a little weenier than he would like?
His LADY? The profile on that page says he lives with his daughter and four cats (not even gonna go there). Being a good xtian, exactly what lady is it that he plans to give something worth $15?
I can’t wait for Steve’s smackdown on the Readers Digest for publishing “I am Joe’s Heart”.
Which brings us to the latest fad in the lexicon: I Am Joe’s Heart. The article doesn’t identify Joe as a man, but as a heart, as if the two terms are interchangeable. They aren’t. A man has a brain, a heart doesn’t. A man can appreciate beauty, a heart can’t. A man can think, reason, laugh, play, scold, frown and frolic – a heart is merely a smallish subset of the above.
Is that physically possible?
Imagine men being reduced to their penises?
This goof’s last name begins with “Pud.” I think there’s a backstory here.
Okay. The photo didn’t post. Sorry. It’s a promo for a WND article on “The Vagina Monologues.” You can see it at Scriptoids.
Now I know better. (I learn a few HTML tags and I go crazy.)
And this man is raising a daughter? That rant reeked of fear, masculine fear.
The passage you quote from Pudlo (is that his real name?! That about says it all…) is a piece of true idiocy. He thinks women and their vaginas are two distinct separate categories. I do not know any woman who would refer to herself as a vagina but I also don’t know any women who think of themselves separate from their vaginas either. To wit Pudlo’s claim: A woman can appreciate beauty, a vagina can’t. He is so wrong.
To create a similitude between Vagina Monologues and a fictive Ankle Monologues is ridiculous. Although I have done Middle Finger Monologues with friends at parties and as a game it can be quite entertaining. Furthermore, I would not at all be opposed to Penis Monologues. I think they would be quite interesting and revealing.