The lipstick on the old fart is a nice touch.

Uh, from below, but again, speaking of ads: Sadlynauts, I love you and I’m not trying to be a pain or anything, or tell you what to do, but you may want to seriously consider deep-sixing the Palin T-shirt ad. Given how the blogosphere works, getting rid of it may save headaches. Just saying.

That bass line at the end is the shit.

And yea, that t-shirt ad is just askin for trouble. Seems more appropriate for a bathroom stall than a t-shirt.

Guys, I got no control over the t-shirt ads. I’ll bring it up with management.

Yet more lies from the left.

Obama’s policies are policies that will lead to kids having sex earlier. Remember that Bill Clinton’s own lies have led to a surge in underage sex and other perversion.

Sex-ed for 6 year olds is not justified. It’s shameful that the Obama camp is using a distortion of the bill to defend the bill.

While Obama was proposing ways to make our kids more perverted, John McCain was helping to invent many new technologies. It’s no coincidence that cell phones and blackberries rose while John McCain had a lot of influence in the technology field.

> John McCain was helping to invent many new technologies.

I know he was the guy sitting in the electronics lab painstakingly single-handedly soldering together the original prototype of the Blackberry, but didn’t he also invent machines to put lipstick on pigs and pitbulls?

Fans of justice are advised to go to The Poor Man and see the item about the Repub delegate to the convention who was relieved, by a woman he (thought he) picked up, of over $120K in valuables. And don’t miss the video. You’ll thank me later.

Fake Gary, please try harder.

gbear got the $120,000 RNC heist story going in the previous thread, too.

Obama’s policies are policies that will lead to kids having sex earlier. Remember that Bill Clinton’s own lies have led to a surge in underage sex and other perversion.

That’s awesome.

While Obama was proposing ways to make our kids more perverted, John McCain was helping to invent many new technologies.

That’s even awesomer. Real Gary, you need to come by more often. We miss you, and your imitators can’t match up.

Gary, you left out WiFi.

If I talked about all the technologies that John McCain helped invent, i’d be here for a long time.

Gary — no, please stick around. Do tell us about all the awesome technologies that John “I can’t use the Internet” helped invent.

OMG! Real Gary!

Attention Sadly, No! Parody Troll Players – Real Gary has dropped “the fact is”. And is formatting pargarphs nicely.

Question for Gary Ruppert,

Do you know Amy Alkon? I believe she’s looking for you.

If I talked about all the technologies that John McCain helped invent, i’d be here for a long time.

Well yeah. He’d have to start with bronze.

The mumbled disclaimer at the end was the crowning touch.

Speaking of rapid-fire disclaimers: when did they become the biggest part of ads? I heard a radio spot the other day that was literally 5 seconds of commercial and 25 seconds of Alvin the Chipmunk doing the disclaimer.

Awesome.

While Obama was proposing ways to make our kids more perverted

More than they already are? Whoa. That’s gonna be hard….

If I talked about all the technologies that John McCain helped invent, i’d be here for a long time.

Well yeah. He’d have to start with bronze.

In addition to discovering bronze, didn’t McCain also steal fire from the gods and wasn’t he punished by having Viet Cong eat his liver every day?

Well, if we’re complaining about ads, I for one wouldn’t miss seeing that disgusting meat thing if it disappeared.

Gary, did you pal ever find his missing cell phone? And the rings?

Man, it is a great time to be a kid. It’s not fair! I can’t believe I missed out on Childhood 2.0, Now With Extra Perversion.

Youth is wasted on the young.

Obama’s policies are policies that will lead to kids having sex earlier.

Like at 18 instead of 43? I can see why wingnuts would find increased sexual activity threatening. No new recruits for them if there isn’t a good-sized pool of frustrated wankers.

If I talked about all the technologies that John McCain helped invent, i’d be here for a long time.

Did he invent them before he was so badly beaten as a POW that he can’t use his fingers?

Athenawise – If you like the lipstick you should check the photoessays in The Atlantic. That pic is from there.

Was that Walter Reed Middle School in there?

g – find something of substance to pick on. You sound like a massive tool there. You’re scaring the swing voters, for the love of all that is progressive, stfu already about him being a POW.

Ha! It is WRMS!

Well yeah. He’d have to start with bronze.

Excellent.

OMG Real Gary! Gary, did Bill Clinton’s perversions also force David Vitter to dress up in a diaper and solicit sex from a D.C. Madame? I’ll take my answer off the air.

I can’t see it! ::cries::

McCainus is soooooooo fucked!

This ad shows the rift between the campaign and the latest crucial, election-defining micro-trend demographic. Soccer moms and nascar dads are so last news cycle.

This election will rest entirely on who mobilizes the “nambla uncle” vote.

re: teh shirt ad.

That shirt would be so much cooler if they swapped Palin and McCain.

> Obama’s policies are policies that will lead to kids having sex earlier.

I thought Hockey Mom policies caused that.

Hey Gary, were you in Minneapolis during the Repug convention?

He met her in the bar of the swank hotel and invited her to his room. Once there, the woman fixed the drinks and told him to get undressed.

And that, the delegate to the Republican National Convention told police, was the last thing he remembered.

When he awoke, the woman was gone, as was more than $120,000 in money, jewelry and other belongings.

(snip)

Schwartz is a single attorney and a fixture in Colorado Republican politics. He was one of the state’s delegates to the convention this month in St. Paul.

Reached by phone at his law office Monday, Schwartz said that because the case still was under investigation, “I think at this point, I don’t want to make a comment on it.”

My favorite part –

Aside from the watch, ring, necklace, earrings and belt, Schwartz also reported a $1,000 purse or wallet, a $1,500 cell phone, $500 in cash and a couple of rings worth $50 had been taken.

A $1,000 purse or wallet”??? WTF?!?!?

Apparently, he’s a bloodthirsty, warmongering asshole who’s probably never once set foot in a recruiting station:

During the convention, Schwarz wasn’t shy about talking to the media. In an Associated Press article about Sen. John McCain’s acceptance speech, Schwartz was quoted as saying that as far as oratorical skills go, McCain “has more experience in his little pinkie” than Democratic nominee Barack Obama.

In an interview filmed the afternoon of Sept. 3 and posted on the Web site LinkTV.org, Schwartz was candid about how he envisioned change under a McCain presidency.

“Less taxes and more war,” he said, smiling. He said the U.S. should “bomb the hell” out of Iran because the country threatens Israel.

Asked by the interviewer how America would pay for a military confrontation with Iran, he said the U.S. should take the country’s resources.

“We should plant a flag. Take the oil, take the money,” he said. “We deserve reimbursement.”

(snip)

He said an attack on Iran was needed to protect Israel, and he offered how it could be accomplished through “strategical airstrikes.”

“Hopefully, just bomb the hell out of them from the sky. No troops,” he said.

Schwartz was asked if he had a message to the protesters who filled the streets of downtown St. Paul.

“Get a job,” he replied.

Stay classy, you fucking Republican asshole.

http://www.twincities.com/ci_10472581?source=most_viewed
(via TPM)

Damn, looks like gbear and Mr. Wonderful beat me to it. Still, it’s a story that deserves all the exposure it can get.

True that, commie atheist. It’s not a race.

Haha, that Schwartz twit is a laugh riot. I’m dying to see a picture of the little bitch.

Legalize, go to the twincities.com article. They have a link to the LinkTV video in which he’s interviewed.

OK, let’s ignore the Jonanism that McCain can’t use computers because of POWPOWPOW, because that would also make it impossible for him to solder or hell, even USE a Blackberry…

What other things did John McCain invent?

John McCain invented math. But he doesn’t use it.

John McCain invented the vibrating buttplug.

John McCain invented tables. Because he didn’t have tables for five and half years.

John McCain invented trophy wives.

Gary,

I always thought McCain’s two most impressive inventions were the wheel and fire.

> A $1,000 purse or wallet”??? WTF

If he is a typical repig, and it appears from his great desire to kill people that he is, he is exaggerating the value of the stolen items to try to get more insurance money back.

I could imagine the reality of the situation being more like the Seinfeld episode with George and the handcuffs.

The only thing I’d add to that add is a scrolling of the list of GOPerverts at the end found at this site:

http://www.armchairsubversive.com

That would be comedy gold!

What other things did John McCain invent?
McCain says:

I am uniquely qualified to lead our nation during this technological revolution. While in the Navy, I depended upon the technologies and information provided by our nation’s scientists and engineers with during each mission. I am the former chairman of the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation. The Committee plays a major role in the development of technology policy, specifically any legislation affecting communications services, the Internet, cable television and other technologies. Under my guiding hand, Congress developed a wireless spectrum policy that spurred the rapid rise of mobile phones and Wi-Fi technology that enables Americans to surf the web while sitting at a coffee shop, airport lounge, or public park.

From Science Debate 2008.

His time in the Navy also made him a lover of the deep.

As a former Navy officer I was constantly reminded of the power, wonder and complexity of our world’s oceans.

Same source, same crazy man.

It would be just fine with me if every thread from now on contained a link to that Schwartz story. And you really do need to see the video to understand just what a smug douchebag he is.

In other news, did everyone hear that last week David Brooks said Republicans are intellectually unfit to govern?

If he is a typical repig, and it appears from his great desire to kill people that he is, he is exaggerating the value of the stolen items to try to get more insurance money back.

I’m sure that’s the case. Notice how he told the cops one amount (and who the hell carries around $120,000 in cash and bling?) and then downgraded it to $50,000 later. Probably realized that he was going to have to cough up some receipts.

As a former Navy officer I was constantly reminded of the power, wonder and complexity of our world’s oceans.

As he was puking over the side.

Local ad for Schwartz’s firm. I love these guys.

Awesome ad! It should run in all fifty-seven states! (ducks flying chair)

Well, there’s one thing he didn’t invent (although he’s probably a user): the Big Bag of Dicks. Or perhaps it’s the Sizable Stomach of Sweet-meat. Whatever.

Penis-eating fish introduced into New Zealand.
“We have found a large number of penises inside their stomachs…”

http://www.practicalfishkeeping.co.uk/pfk/pages/item.php?news=1803

> As he was puking over the side.

I don’t know how to create that line-thru-the-middle font, but if I could I would do that to this sentence and replace it with this:

As he was crashing another multi-million-dollar taxpayer-supplied airplane.

Fixed.

> I depended upon the technologies and information provided by our nation’s scientists and engineers with during each mission.

Thanks to republican economic policies, he can now say this:

I depended upon the technologies and information provided by our China’s scientists and engineers with during each mission.

Mr Ruppert, have you read the bill? I have. It’s pretty standard fair. We have roughly the same thing in NC. Notice, if you will read the bill, that the words “age appropriate” appear numerous times to indicate that not everything should be taught all at once.

But you know, we’re crazy atheist liberals here in North Carolina.

He met her in the bar of the swank hotel and invited her to his room. Once there, the woman fixed the drinks and told him to get undressed.

When he awoke, the woman was gone, as was more than $120,000 in money, jewelry and other belongings.

I, for one, would like to know Amy Alkon’s whereabouts on the night in question. It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

No, no, not the electronic device. McCain helped invent actual blackberries.

This might be the funniest thing ever oh please please PLEASE find some TIDOSY bullshit to post this with it is exactly on target ohmigod I think I’m gonna pass out from the laughing and the crying with the sides hurting and the monkeys that stole the glasses off my head!

http://batcountry.deviantart.com/art/Puttgrass-Tribute-3100419

Gary’s sex offender registry entry led me to believe he was not adamantly opposed to under-age sex. Of course, if the educational materials were merely teaching children how to distinguish permissible from illicit touching, I can more easily see why he’d be agin’ it.

Oh my, my jaw dropped as I was watching this, and when I was finally able to close my mouth again, I laughed until my stomach hurt.

I agree with you guys that the list of the stuff stolen from that Schwartz guy at the RNC doesn’t seem to have been worth $120,000. So, he is either inflating their value, or, perhaps he had another item not listed because of its sentimental value and the emotional impact the loss of such an item would have on poor Mr. Schwartz: the placenta from the birth of Trig Palin, sold on E-bay, of course.

Dintcha hear, SHE SOLD IT ON E-BAY!

There is a fairly comprehensive list of republicans against Obama’s sex education bill over at http://www.armchairsubversive.com

Sex-ed for 6 year olds is not justified.

Keepin’ ’em in th dark just works to Gary’s advantage.

Sorry to get all OTT and link-happy, but as someone who thinks John Cusack is one of the smartest actors of his generation it comes as no surprise that he’s got the current situation figured out:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-cusack/the-final-distraction-mcc_b_126672.html

There is a fairly comprehensive list of republicans against the Obama sex-education bill over at

dubya dubya dubya arm_chair_subversive dot com

Leave out the underscores, and BTW, FYWP.

Oh, if you liked the Schwartz story, you have to see the video interview of him at the convention. It makes the story soooooo much better.

BTW, you Sadly No! editors ought to promote that one to a front page link. This dude is clearly a New Wingnut of the Week.

McCain invented the concept of zero. He did not invent the concept of negative numbers, which explains his inability to understand our current economic state.

Aside from the watch, ring, necklace, earrings and belt, Schwartz also reported a $1,000 purse or wallet, a $1,500 cell phone, $500 in cash and a couple of rings worth $50 had been taken.

Um….he’s a single guy travelling for business. What’s he doing with a $1000 purse? what’s he doing with a necklace and earrings?

Plus, who gets a $1500 cell phone?

$1000 for a man-purse? Must have been Coach or Vuitton or Dooney & Burke or some such.

BTW, that ambulance chaser ad specifically mentions sticking it to the insurance companies, so no doubt his reputation would precede him should he not settle and take the ins co to court.

That guy Schwartz looks like the Mother Of All Tools.

He has quite a spiffy outfit on. It appears that he left the cum stains on his shirt from his 5x a day masturbation habit.

McCain’s first patent application was a series of tokens sealed in a spherical clay envelope; he had pressed the tokens into the clay while it was still wet so that the contents could be seen without breaking the clay after it was fired. Many believe this was the direct precursor to cuneiform.

I imagine the Minneapolis police has not excluded the possibility that this was an inside job.

re: Schwartz – speaking from my experience in the insurance industry (yes, actually), Mysterious Disappearance claims are a heee-uuuuge red flag for a policyholder, especially when the ‘theft’ occurs outside the home.

My first guess would be that the Insurer will deny the claims on most of the missing valuables (assuming he actually bothered to list all the items on the Inland Marine portion of his policy), and I wouldn’t be surprised if they dropped him instantly.

a series of tokens sealed in a spherical clay envelope
The Schmandt-Besserat Doctrine?

John McCain claims he invented the Blackberry!

Yep. Too bad she never asked McCain, he could have cleared everything up for her.

Schmandt-Besserat and the Bene Gesserit belong together in a limerick.
And what Kathleen said.

I don’t know how to create that line-thru-the-middle font

Use the term “strike” as your tag.

“As a single man, I was flattered by the attention of a beautiful woman who introduced herself to me. I used poor judgment.”

Translation: “I’m so stupid I thought a hooker was coming on to me.”

… The haul included … a Prada belt valued at $1,000 … and a couple of rings worth $50…

Huh?

Who spends $1000 on a BELT fer gawd sake?

Ooooohh, the fact is, John McCain played a big role in the creation of the iPhone.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_iYrhopY-rI4/SNAZ3SM4AeI/AAAAAAAADzs/ShQS4JPvioU/s1600-h/mccaineconomy.jpg

Schwartz made a statement today. He says he hopes his case serves to increase public awareness of the dangers of date rape faced by men. He insists he was joking in his LinkTV interview. And he notes the police report is wrong: it was only $50,000.

Schwartz made a statement today.

Were there any marks on his ears?

Schwartz made a statement today.

Were there any marks on his ears?

No. And no earrings, either! Hiyooooo!

My husband just reminded me: Research in Motion, the folks who actually brought us the Blackberry, are headquartered in Canada.

Research in Motion, the folks who actually brought us the Blackberry, are headquartered in Canada.

MORE foreign policy experience for McCain! Also he has eaten quite a lot of Vietnamese food.

Schwartz made a statement today. He says he hopes his case serves to increase public awareness of the dangers of date rape faced by men.

OK, I’m starting to smell insurance fraud here too. As awesome as it would be if he was actually drugged and robbed by a Twin Cities hooker, how much more wonderful would it be if he was busted for filing a fraudulent insurance claim, not to mention a false police report and probably getting disbarred in the process.

Is it wrong to experience such joy at the misfortune of others?

$30k watch. Jeez.

Plus, I thought Republicans were supposed to hate ambulance chasing Trial Lawyers.

I will never understand.

I will mock, but I will never understand.

Somebody pulled a boner:

Move over, Al Gore. You may lay claim to the Internet, but John McCain helped create the BlackBerry.

At least that’s the contention of a top McCain policy adviser, Douglas Holtz-Eakin. Waving his BlackBerry personal digital assistant and citing McCain’s work as a senator, he told reporters Tuesday, ”You’re looking at the miracle that John McCain helped create.”

A McCain aide later dismissed the remark as ”a boneheaded joke by a staffer.”

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/washington/AP-McCain-BlackBerry.html

He says he hopes his case serves to increase public awareness of the dangers of date rape abject stupidity faced by men.
Please give generously to Stupidity Research.

And lest we forget, RB, for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS he was prevented from inventing ANY Canadian electronic devices.

Something tells me Holtz-Eakin was being totally serious, and the “joke” thing came later, once the campaign realized what a moron he was.

What’s a single guy doing with a bunch of women’s jewelry and accessories? Why would a man travel with woman’s things to the Republican conven…. oh,.. nevermind.

$30k watch. Jeez.

Yeah, but the rings were only worth 50$. Otherwise he’d be an elitist.

What’s a single guy doing with a bunch of women’s jewelry and accessories? Why would a man travel with woman’s things to the Republican conven…. oh,.. nevermind.

Apparently the dildo and the two wetsuits were recovered.

A McCain aide later dismissed the remark as ”a boneheaded joke by a staffer.”

Someone should point this aide to McCain’s answer to the first question posed to him by Science Debate 2008 and ask if that too was a boneheaded joke.

Oh, yeah, they keep pulling these jokes, like “compassionate conservatism,” and “there are WMD’s in Iraq,” and “trickle down economics,” and “that’s not really torture.”

I dread the day they become serious…

A McCain aide later dismissed the remark as ”a boneheaded joke by a staffer.”

Someone should point this aide to McCain’s answer to the first question posed to him by Science Debate 2008 and ask if that too was a boneheaded joke.

You mean like this:

“Senator McCain, were you serious or just joking when you said, ‘Under my guiding hand, Congress developed a wireless spectrum policy that spurred the rapid rise of mobile phones and Wi-Fi technology that enables Americans to surf the web while sitting at a coffee shop, airport lounge, or public park.’?”

That’s about as egregious as claiming to have invented the internet, except that in this case, the idiot actually did say it.

Wait…I hear a song coming on…

When I talk to god I know he’ll understand,
He’ll say, “Sit next to me, I’ll be your guiding hand.”
But don’t ask me what I think of you,
I might not give the answer that you want me to.

-Peter Green

Whats wrong with masturbating 5X a day?

(shrugs)

Whats wrong with masturbating 5X a day?

The North Vietnamese put an end to John McCain’s dream of masturbating 5x a day.

Does anyone happen to know how many investment banks have failed so far? I’m hearing 11 but would like a source to confirm.

The North Vietnamese put an end to John McCain’s dream of masturbating 5x a day.

Was that before or after the Viet Cong rendered his hands incapable of typing on a PC?

Sadly, John McCain is as of this writing only capable of fisting himself.

The North Vietnamese put an end to John McCain’s dream of masturbating 5x a day.

That’s five and a half times.

Oregon Guy said,

(shrugs)

It shows lack of effort.

This is becoming another thread about McCain retouching.

Whats wrong with masturbating 5X a day?

Jesus wept. And wept… and wept… and wept… and, finally, wept.

(Alternative: Nothing, if you have a quality web cam, a robust web interface, professional hosting and a credit card merchant account.)

“date rape happens to men, too.”

Oh no he did not say that. Oh yes he did.

So in the mind of this fine young Republican, rape = loss of material possessions. Got it.

Is it wrong to experience such joy at the misfortune of others?

Yes it is. But we do it anyway.

I hate to interrupt this thread of porn but this item, especially coming (no pun intended) this week, seems hilarious; but then again maybe I’m just being hysterical.

Wal-Mart applies for bank licence
U.S. opposition scuttled expansion plan last year
Reuters

TORONTO — Wal-Mart Canada said yesterday that it has filed an application with Canadian regulators for a banking licence as it aims to expand financial services.

Kevin Groh, director of corporate affairs for the Canadian arm of the giant retailer, said the firm is seeking permission from the Office of the Superintendent of Financial Institutions to provide a broader range of financial services, beyond its present scope of non-bank offerings.

Groh declined to comment on the content of the application, nor would he discuss what the company’s additional services might be.

Wal-Mart Canada currently offers non-bank services such as money transfers, emergency bill payments, gift cards and automated teller machines.

“In order to broaden out into many of the other services that are available with other retailers, we do require a banking licence,” he said.

Wal-Mart launched no-frills banking services in Mexico last year — which customers mainly use to get credit for buying appliances. The firm now boasts 38 banking branches near its Mexican stores and plans to add 400 small banking booths inside stores.

Plans for expanded financial services in the U.S. were scuttled last year after Wal-Mart withdrew its request to open a specialty bank following opposition from politicians, consumer groups and community banks.

“date rape happens to men, too.”

Umm….I would imagine that she did not have sexual contact with him.

I can imagine the headlines…
Following success of loan-shark business in Mexico, Wal-Mart sees growing opportunities in Canada & US.

I think the term Mr. Schwarz is grasping for is “rolling,” not “date rape.”

Whats wrong with masturbating 5X a day?

The fact is, I masturbate every time I post a comment here.

“Senator McCain, were you serious or just joking when you said, ‘Under my guiding hand, Congress developed a wireless spectrum policy that spurred the rapid rise of mobile phones and Wi-Fi technology that enables Americans to surf the web while sitting at a coffee shop, airport lounge, or public park.’?”

That’s about as egregious as claiming to have invented the internet, except that in this case, the idiot actually did say it.

In all fairness, wireless spectrum policy is one of the few areas where the government actually could exercise a role in the development of this technology. Another example I can think of where the government had a role that directly benefited consumers was when the FCC ordered the carriers to set up mobile number portability so that you can keep your same phone number after switching carriers.

The BlackBerry comment is funny to me not just because RIM is a Canadian company, as tigrismus pointed out, but because I work in the industry. I’ve been writing software for cell phones for the past five years, including core parts of the software that interfaces with the cellular radio to make phone calls and send/receive text messages that’s on all T-Mobile Sidekick phones since the Sidekick 3. Our company was so successful that we ended up getting acquired by Microsoft, where we continue developing cool stuff…

In my experience, government has little or no role in determining the innovation of any of this stuff, besides setting the ground rules for things like the wireless spectrum or what carriers are allowed to bill consumers for, and there are literally thousands of technical people behind the scenes making all this stuff work. As much as I know (and I can go off Hank Hill style about GSM, 3G, SMS, etc. for hours), I only work with small pieces of the puzzle, and it’s a privilege to be part of that process that ends up with devices on store shelves and hopefully a lot of happy customers. For some know-nothing staffer to wave around his BlackBerry and act as if the federal government (and John McCain in particular) is somehow responsible for it coming to be is laughable. Besides, I thought these guys were all about the private sector and how government is bad and needs to be drowned in the bathtub or something. So which is it, guys? Gary? Buehler?

commie atheist said,

September 16, 2008 at 21:16

Damn, looks like gbear and Mr. Wonderful beat me to it. Still, it’s a story that deserves all the exposure it can get.

*sniff*
~

At first I was shocked to read that a Republican delegate took a woman back to his room, but then I realized he’s probably lying about the perp’s gender.

Well, it really does appear that McCain/Palin want to protect child molesters, if this story is to be believed.

In other words, if Palin’s new story is true, she fired Monegan for being too aggressive in going after child molesters.

Under my guiding hand Over my strenuous objections, Congress developed a wireless spectrum policy that spurred the rapid rise of mobile phones and Wi-Fi technology that enables Americans to surf the web while sitting at a coffee shop, airport lounge, or public park.

Fixed.

I was perusing this blog and I came across the T-shirt ad. I clicked on the link and I was so offended I know I cannot possibly vote for Obama, who obviously condones such disgusting slurs. You have turned me off, and who knows how many others? Same with that Atlantic cover. It is this sort of stuff which will lose you the election. Are you happy?

Umm….I would imagine that she did not have sexual contact with him.

Which would be this clown’s definition of “date rape”.

Well, that, or bipartisanship.

The fact is, liberals are making fun of rape and rapists and rape victims. I will send the proof to McCain HQ. You’ll be sorry.

The fat is, the economy is doing very well. Liberals love to spin things to make them look bad, they are poverty pimps after all who depend on dependency.

I think you are mistaken, Gary Ruppert.

As discussed, it would seem that McCain is in favor of child molesting, and so is his vp pick.

McCain, great inventor of Teh Wireless, is clearly doing a very good RIM job.

The fact is, chopped liver in every pot.

Or send all your pot to chopped liver.

Same thing, really.

Forget wi-fi, John McCain has this brilliant idea for sending – now get this – photocopies over the phone lines! It’ll work kinda like a photo copier, except the output could be all the way on the other side of town! It’s be like having a high powered looking glass and a team of monks at the location so you could describe to them (over the phone) what to illuminate, and double check that they’re getting it right via looking glass – but way faster! Imagine, being able to send actual copies of paper documents through the ether phone lines.

Umm….I would imagine that she did not have sexual contact with him.

And I would imagine that he would imagine that she did. After all, if he allegedly can’t remember anything after she allegedly told him to take his clothes off, then he can fill in the memory gap with whatever he wants, right? It is, after all, the wingnut way.

Maybe she was an Iranian spy and she found out all of his top secret ambulance chasing “sources and methods” during pillow talk. Oh noes, time to bomb everyone in any way involved, starting with the city of Denver and progressing outwards in a big firey cloud of destruction. Followed by less taxes, and then more war.

Well, sorry to bore you with my Scherer obsession, but the poor boy’s feelings are now hurt. His latest:
http://www.time-blog.com/swampland/2008/09/rorschach_test.html

Hey, since I’m picking on him so much, I guess I’ll humor him:

Linking to this blog post about politics and the paranoid mind proves that I am a delicate princess secretly working to elect JiSM3 to the office of bestest number one guy!!!! so I can go to the senior prom with him while Cindy’s away – YUM. Now what does it say about you?

Well Michael, it says that I understand you perfectly.

Oh, and as it turns out – it’s not the harsh (but well deserved) treatment he’s gotten from his commenters that has him out of equilibrium. It’s just that his hero has been ignoring him.

Finally got to see the youtube (work forbids it) and it’s stupendously fab. Wish it could be aired on Prime Time teevee.

Gary Ruppert said,
September 17, 2008 at 1:51
The fat is…doing very well.

FIXED!

The fact is, homosexual institutions global are ruining the USA.

Looks to me like Barack Obama is just not a viable candidate. The American public is catching wind that Obama is a marxist swine and traditionally Democratic voters are abandoning him in droves.

John McCain now has a narrow but growing lead in the former Democratic stronghold of Long Island. Maybe its Obama’s condescending nature towards his own country, or maybe its his marxist policies. I really don’t know why, all I know is that this is going to be the biggest Republican landslide since 1988.

Christmas is definately coming early this year.

http://www.newsday.com/news/local/politics/ny-stpoll0916,0,964790.story

Umm….I would imagine that she did not have sexual contact with him.

Do you suppose he’d actually admit that he later found his watch, where she, um, hid it?

John McCain now has a narrow but growing lead in the former Democratic stronghold of Long Island.

Spoken by someone entirely ignorant of Long Island…

Let me pile-on about the t-shirts.

So Fucking Dumb.

Obama’s a Marxist? Really? Is that him taking an 80% federal reserve bank share in AIG? Really? Is Obama the President already?

I added a couple of posts with links, DKW.

Funny thing about swampland, it’s hard to tell when someone posts links. At least with my browser/OS…

Forget wi-fi, John McCain has this brilliant idea for sending – now get this – photocopies over the phone lines!

The fact is, I would love to see some James Burke Connections style program that traced the invention of something from John McCain’s time as a POW. Maybe starting with his Cross in the Dirt story and ending up with the invention of wasabi mayonnaise.

My roommate was driving a cab in Austin one night when he picked up an older gentleman from the local upscale gay bar. The guy mentioned that he had been a POW for several years during the Vietnam War, and followed up with “Yep, that’s where ah learned ah was queer.” Sadly, my friend didn’t ask him to elaborate, but it goes to show there are as many different POW stories as there are POWs. POW.

Has anyone seen McCain’s interviews today? He looks terrible. His eyes aren’t even on the same track.

What would happen if he got sick and had to drop out? Is there a precedent for this?

In all fairness, wireless spectrum policy is one of the few areas where the government actually could exercise a role in the development of this technology.

Absolutely. My problem was with the “my guiding hand” bullshit. Unless someone can prove me wrong, I’m betting he never even knew about the spectrum legislation until after it passed, if then.

Was it on here that someone said, “No, John McCain invented the actual blackberry, the fruit.”?

El Cid –
Holy shit.

I’d like some pot. It helps with the masturbating.

The American public is catching wind

Did somebody fart?

Absolutely. My problem was with the “my guiding hand” bullshit. Unless someone can prove me wrong, I’m betting he never even knew about the spectrum legislation until after it passed, if then.

Nah, better yet. He voted against it.

Did somebody fart?

Yeah, that was me.

Sorry.

Concerned Swing Voter In The Heartland said,

I was perusing this blog and I came across the T-shirt ad. I clicked on the link and I was so offended I know I cannot possibly vote for Obama, who obviously condones such disgusting slurs. You have turned me off, and who knows how many others? Same with that Atlantic cover. It is this sort of stuff which will lose you the election. Are you happy?

That’s funny, but not as funny as the fact that people actually think you exist.

He says he hopes his case serves to increase public awareness of the dangers of date rape faced by men

Good thing I didn’t have any sympathy for this guy to begin with.

That’s nice linking Chopped Liver – impressive snark for something that cooks in schmaltz.

Did you see the comment immediately after yours? All this fretting about verb fucking tenses – I think Scherer’s commented a dozen times in order to defend himself from accusations of sucking too hard at the JiSM3 – and tada – he’s even fucking wrong about the pathetic excuse he’s using. When, to borrow a phrase from RB, the professional writer lady checks his style guide or asks someone WHO CAN FUCKING SPEAK ENGLISH he’ll have to go slink off and pretend that this never happened. Pretty sweet.

for El Cid

Did somebody fart?

..the hell? How could that have been justme? What happened to the Golden Rule?

Gracias, tigrismus. Now that McCain has intervented the ability to send wi-fi series of trucks via seasonal fruit, the speed of communication has exceeded my fructasic abilities.

You’re welcome; it is tough, but we do what we can to keep currant.

I don’t think anyone should jam McCain’s technological accomplishments.

POW, mf’ers!

Absolutely. My problem was with the “my guiding hand” bullshit. Unless someone can prove me wrong, I’m betting he never even knew about the spectrum legislation until after it passed, if then.

Nah, better yet. He voted against it.

Seriously? That’s awesome.

I wasn’t ‘pectin that.

It’s a lemon tree, my dear Watson.

If McCain’s guiding hand was not working properly, it’s because the Vietnamese broke his fingers when he was a POW.

commie,

McCain was one of just five senators to vote against the Telecommunications Act of 1996.

Of course he did. You can’t make this shit up.

What would happen if he got sick and had to drop out? Is there a precedent for this?

Gentle WereBear, there are Palinite prayers for this.

Saints preserves us.

More bad news on the homefront liberals. Obama is declining in the polls in his homestate of Illinois of all places. Most people haven’t yet noticed it because we’ve all been watching the Great Lake’s states of Minnesota, Wisconsin and Michigan trend in McCain’s favor. But Illinois could surprise us yet. Obama may very well be polling below 50% there.

Wouldn’t that be something if the terrorist appeaser lost his own state? Not even Walter Mondale could pull that one off.

I don’t believe public opinion has jellied on this issue yet.

Hey, I think Obama’s going to win, but this is the American people’s choice. If they want to just wrap up the whole “First World” thing and be a lot more like Brazil of the mid-1970s, hey, that’s their choice; and if they are jealous because we don’t yet have American favelas, they can vote for McCain.

Certainly there is disconfiture in the populace.

Robert White,

What polls are you looking at dope are you smoking?

Yes indeed, Minnesota is definately trending in McCain’s favor just as it has been trending Republican for a while now. Better make your plans to relocate to Canada soon liberals, because Christmas is definately coming early this year.

http://www.startribune.com/politics/national/president/28353589.html?elr=KArksc8P:Pc:UthPacyPE7iUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUU

Robert White said,

September 17, 2008 at 3:37

You been eating them baked beans again, DN?

McCain was one of just five senators to vote against the Telecommunications Act of 1996.
The source is unimpeachable.

Carefully with the puns, or Bucket’ll return with his SPREAD. Man that guy just pisses all over the place, he’s quite in condiment.

More on McCain and this crazy technology thing.

In 2002, McCain authored the “Consumer Broadband Deregulation Act of 2002” which eliminated the requirement of the 1996 law that telecommunication companies provide access to competitors. It didn’t pass.

[…]

Of pending legistlation, McCain is not a sponsor of the “Connect the Nation Act” – though Senator Obama is. McCain is not a sponsor of Senator Rockefeller’s call for a universal next generation broadband by 2015 – though Senator Obama is. And of course, McCain isn’t a sponsor of the “Internet Freedom Act” that would ensure net neutrality – though Senator Obama is.

Via justme’s Think Progress link above.

[…] This one should go viral. Kudos to the repressed pedophilia self-hating homosexual faction of the current version of the Republican party. […]

ROGER:
But maybe…it’s a wild idea, but it just might work…
I see a line of beautiful girls
Dressed as storm troopers, each one a gem
With leather boots and whips on their hips
It’s risque, dare I say, S & M!
CARMEN & THE TEAM:
Love it!
ROGER:
I see German soldiers dancing through France
Played by chorus boysenberry tight pants

Serious masturbation break:

The Houston Chronicle put up a page with all kinds of ways to help the people in the Houston-Galveston area recover from Ike.

Think about it, kiddoes.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/side/6004619.html

How low can a mango?

http://www.senate.gov/legislative/LIS/roll_call_lists/roll_call_vote_cfm.cfm?congress=104&session=2&vote=00008

Just in case someone wants teh particulars.

How low can a mango?

It takes a strong one to pear it.

It takes a strong one to pear it.

One lives by the fruits of ones labors.

Tee-shirts? Meat? Sorry – my browser & site-settings don’t show any ads at all – once again, as when I missed the RNC, I’m left drifting helplessly in a sea of ignorance & deprivation … smiling & whistling happily to myself (although NOT masturbating 5X/day – sheesh, sounds like someone needs to get a hobby or get out of the house & do some community work, before they pull that poor thing clear OFF)…

Research in Motion, the folks who actually brought us the Blackberry, are headquartered in Canada.

LOL – & you thought Celine Dion was diabolical!

If anyone tells me McCain is a Canuck, I’m REALLY going to lose my shit up here. No wait, I’ve got it – he used his secret Ninja mind-powers, as taught to him during his captivity by a wise old Zen monk, to telepathically inspire R-in-M to develop the Blackberry – right around the time he was using the same superduper-ESP to send Britney Spears the lyrics to her 1st album.

So, I’m assuming the Space Shuttle’s CanadArm is made in Taiwan Korea China?

he hopes his case serves to increase public awareness of the dangers of date rape faced by men

…. & somewhere, a beautiful woman is slapping herself in the forehead & muttering, “It serves me right – I knew I should’ve just strangled the little shit-stain once he passed out, but NOOOOOOOO …”

LOL, you may want to read Saul’s comment on my blog.

Saul evidently felt so…something, that he felt compelled to comment on my blog, though I haven’t even commented here, at least on this particular post.

Me thinks Saul doth be a fucktard too much.

What a world class wanker.

LOL, you may want to read Saul’s comment on my blog.

uh, no. And thanks. I’d just managed to completely forget that troll.

More bad news on the homefront liberals.

Robert White is back with his copy paste routine.

Call me unfazed that Fargo’s supporting McVampire.

an 80% federal reserve bank share in AIG

Hey, The Spouse and I are heartily relieved at this wonderful news. As an independent contractor for one of AIG’s subsidiaries, he’s mightily relieved that the six-figure retirement fund he’s been paying into for two decades will not disappear overnight. As a “libertarian,” he’s somewhat chagrined that he’s now what might be construed as a “government employee.”

As a socialist, do I now get to put the (for us) thorny issue of health insurance back in his court?

Strange days indeed.

But Lesley, CHRISTMAS! It’s coming early this year! Maybe around the 15th, or maybe even in October! WHO CAN SAY! I have to thank BobWhite for introducing me to this Brave New World that has such fecking useless calendars in it.

Did somebody fart?

Yes, that was us. Sorry.

As a socialist, do I now get to put the (for us) thorny issue of health insurance back in his court?

…strike while the iron is hot.

“guiding hand”? I thought he couldn’t raise his arms high enough to work a keyboard.

Great Lake’s

Robert White: Sorry, we can’t take seriously anyone who possessivizes a plural.

tigrismus said,
September 17, 2008 at 4:23

But Lesley, CHRISTMAS!

Well if it’s Christmas, where’s my PONY. I asked for the one that shits M&Ms.

I totally understand, Lesley.

But anyone commenting on my blog is clearly freaking out, so it has its entertainment value.

In a rational world, Saul would be institutionalized.

Has anyone seen McCain’s interviews today? He looks terrible. His eyes aren’t even on the same track.

Really? That’s odd, because he looked so meaty and focused and well-oiled in that Atlantic cover photo.

my favourite part of that video is Rocky saying “THANKS BUT NO THANKS!” It’s a perfect touch.

And the noodley guitar work.

…we can’t take seriously anyone who possessivizes a plural.

Agreed. The other thing that annoys me is that failing to put a comma before terms of address, as in “More bad news on the homefront liberals.” This tic is very common among the trolls, for some reason, likely because they’re all one person.

Now all Robert says is “I like pie!”, so it doesn’t bother me as much.

It’s just like the Demoncrats to take advantage of years of Rethuglican decimation of the economy to try to smear a fine Bushite like McSame. Don’t they know he was a POW who for five and a half years didn’t have any 401K or CDs or an IRA or any mutual funds? Why do they hate angry semi-disabled American capitalist pigs who leave their disfigured wives in order to marry blonde millionaire trophy wives and acquire for themselves the American dream of being so fucking rich they don’t have to care about subsequently selling their souls in order to powermonger?

Minnesota is definately trending in McCain’s favor

Robert White: Sorry, we don’t take seriously anyone who can’t spell “definitely.”

NY-Pres
Sep 16 RasmussenObama (D) 55%, McCain (R) 42%

As you can see, my fellow citimazens, the shrieking harpy and her fellow Lawn Guylanders have rocked the vote.

P.S. In case anyone was wondering, of course pammalammadingdong is on the Jews 4 the Rapture ark.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Palin to speak at anti-Iran rally in NYC
Woo hooooo! Obama won’t be there (look for him at the pro-Ahmadinejad rally)

Palin to speak at anti-Iran rally JTA (hat tip Bluestar)

~

Our endorsement of the renowned war-hero & political Maverick John S. McCain for President of the United States of America is a testimony to his committment to upholding the time-tested ideals we hold dear.

Now, if you’re a very VERY good boy & tell Mommy & Daddy to vote for him too, I’ll let you take the candy that’s in my pocket …

I heart Jill Greenberg because now every time I visualize McCain, I see this. It’s so REAL.

All this fretting about verb fucking tenses – I think Scherer’s commented a dozen times in order to defend himself from accusations of sucking too hard at the JiSM3 – and tada – he’s even fucking wrong about the pathetic excuse he’s using.

Yeah, I was sort of wondering when Mad Libs stopped being a really fucking lazy way to be funny & magically became hard-hitting journalism.

“John Sidney McCain III had to smoke _____ yards of corporate dick & tell _____ bald-faced lies to get to _____, & with his repeatedly proven commitment to screwing over _____, he’s not going to let _____, _____ or _____ stand between him & the White House, which he needs to command to fulfill his lifelong dream of nuking _____.”

I CAN HAZ TIME MAGAZEEN PUNDIT JOB NAU???

Airwolf? Motherfucking Airwolf?

Wow.

OK, I skipped to the end and if someone else said this, I hate you:

John McCain invented WordPress!!! H8t him 4 evah!!!

Don’t MOCK AIRWOLF, MF’ER!!1one!!

John McCain invented the aeolipile, which can also be powered by compressed farts.

You know, if Hollywood would just bring back absurdist melodrama, a lot of people could get their emotional fix that way, and the McCain campaign wouldn’t be pressured to fill that gap.

George Bush promised me a pony that would shit freedom. Where’s my pony?????

I can’t wait to see how White Robert tells us how the economic iceberg spells doom for Obama.

The fact is….

Werebear, i’m on it.

also, i love that this website has the “kill” function. i just set it to execute worldnewsdaily.com. as we speak a comment made by gary ruppert is working its way through the matrix with “guns. a lot of guns.”

Did anyone see House this evening? I thought the ending was quite symbolic. Without giving anything away, after years of enduring the narcissistic, flagrantly rude, self-serving, egomaniacal ‘brilliant’ doctor, someone finally said what needed to be said to the asshole.

What a relief. I’d had it with that character.

Did anyone see House this evening?

I watched Fringe, otherwise known as X-Files II.

2051 AD is pretty stupid for having sat through that, although there is one entertaining ham in the cast.

my thoughts exactly on Fringe.

shows I’m enjoying lately: Swingtown (sadly over), Mad Men, Entourage, True Blood, Project Runway.

Frozen swordfish in chocolate starfishes, gentlemen.

oh and Poirot has started up again! Hooray.
http://www.tvrage.com/Poirot

My roommate was driving a cab in Austin one night when he picked up an older gentleman from the local upscale gay bar. The guy mentioned that he had been a POW for several years during the Vietnam War, and followed up with “Yep, that’s where ah learned ah was queer.” Sadly, my friend didn’t ask him to elaborate, but it goes to show there are as many different POW stories as there are POWs. POW.

Following up on my story from earlier, I just found out that the story was that the guy got shot down in 1973, towards the end of the war when the Vietnamese weren’t torturing POW’s. While he was in the internment camp, he ended up in a romantic relationship with one of the prison guards.

“Yes! That’s fucking awesome,” I told him. A romantic true love story, and just the kind to piss off the homophobes. After all, traditional Vietnamese culture is pretty homophobic too, you can’t say the guy was led astray by the liberals back in the states during the Great Culture War of the 1960’s that we are doomed to fight for eternity.

On the flip side, I live in San Francisco, so if catching teh gay was contagious, I wouldn’t be sitting here wondering why I haven’t gotten laid in *mumble mumble*’s. Fortunately, an old friend I haven’t seen is coming out to visit this week or next and then it’s on like Donkey Kong, so it’s all good. I’m just saying that if I was gay, I don’t think I’d last more than a week or two out here without going on Craigslist or wherever and finding some hot young dude to screw, so I’ve gotta conclude that I’m probably not queer.

However, I imagine the Republican train of thought is quite different than mine on these matters. Perhaps Rugged could drop by and explain how a young “R” knows if they’re gay or not. What do they teach in abstinence class?

where’s my PONY. I asked for the one that shits M&Ms.

Umm, I think that’s the bunny.

Also, it looks like Carly has displeased her overlords, and will be joining Mrs. Palin in Cheney’s Unmentionable Bunker so as to be free of interaction with anybody who has access to a camera, microphone or typewriter.

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/09/16/fiorinas-comment-called-biden-like/

“haven’t seen” in like 6 years, I should say. It’d be a bit strange to have an old friend you hadn’t seen, unless you were blind or something. Although with the Internets, anything’s possible.

“More bad news on the homefront liberals.”

Which gives me the image of a bunch of hippies on the lawn wearing “Dow loses 500 points” tshirts.

“Carly will now disappear,” this source said. “Senator McCain was furious.”

What an ominous couple of sentences.

Lesley,

Doesn’t it make ya all warm and fuzzy?

Cue the McCain/Queen of Hearts photoshop.

Perhaps Rugged could drop by and explain how a young “R” knows if they’re gay or not. What do they teach in abstinence class?

I believe this is central to my point.

Carly is messing with their cognitive dissonance, what with her rather unhelpful comments about how you need people with experience in something at least vaguely related to whatever it is you’re asking them to do. While McCain does have his years in the Senate, just like Biden, his legislative accomplishments seem a bit “thin on top”, shall we say? So are Palin’s, for that matter. Rather unhelpful.

And McCain’s campaign is admitting as much by getting all pissy about her comments, aren’t they?

Yeah, Carly. I sure hope that $40 million from HP keeps you warm during your next five and a half years in a bamboo cage being tortured.

One of Palin’s appointments cited qualifications on application as a “childhood love for cows” before being hired to be the director of agriculture, earning over $90,000. …

Like the US needs more appointments like these in its future as if it hasn’t already suffered enough disastrous appointments.

Hey, I love cows too. They taste like hamburgers.

I can haz appointment as Secretary of Agriculture?

Or how about Secretary of Defense? I really enjoyed Band of Brothers!

I also enjoy taking a cruise around the countryside with the top down. Can you say Secretary of Transportation?

Hey, I was a member of FFA for a year back in middle school. I guess that makes me overqualified.

I like, pie’s!

Hewlitt-Packard? The company that’s just announced 25,000 job layoffs? Sounds like perhaps Ms. Fiorina didn’t really know how to run a corporation either. Apologies if someone else already pointed this out.

Also re: Fiorina — that’s what happens when you bring up uncomfortable realities in the McPOW campaign. She’s also the one who said the thing about Viagra being covered by insurance cos., while birth control wasn’t, about which follow-up questioning by reporters of McCain produced that embarrassing response of stumbling around and long awkward seconds of dead air.

Sexism! I cry sexism!

[…] das ist das Problem das viele Leute haben, der Zwang ans Telefon gehen zu müssen. Es könnte ja was wichtiges sein. Ich kenne ein paar Typen die würden sogar von der Mutti springen wenn das Telefon […]

John McCain invented the toaster, but that sonovabitch Westinghouse screwed him out of the patent. In fact, early toasters were called “McCains.” Ask your Grandpa. I bet he remembers putting bread in the ol’ McCain to make some delicious McCain Bread for breakfast before going off to the plant. (Of course, this was long before Carly Fiorina closed the plant, but that’s another story).

MzNicky,

Apparently, HP’s stock jumped 7% on the news of her firing. Woo hoo, way to go McCain. Awesome judgment on the folks you surround yourself with.

Hewlitt-Packard? The company that’s just announced 25,000 job layoffs? Sounds like perhaps Ms. Fiorina didn’t really know how to run a corporation either. Apologies if someone else already pointed this out.

To be fair, I think she hasn’t been CEO of HP for awhile and isn’t responsible for the current layoffs, though HP has a history of being up and down.

Fiorina was pushed out of HP.

So was Patricia Dunn, after HP’s spy scandal in 2006. I was thinking that was Fiorina.

tigrismus is a gurl?!??!?!?

I prefer “person of fanciness on the inside,” per Mr. Rogers, or “Lady-parted American.”

If you haven’t caught it yet, check out Jim Cramer explaining how “We’re all communists now.” “We’re all communists now.” If you can stick around thru the shouty parts at the beginning, the reward is the sick looks on everyone’s faces as he lays out how unbelievably shitty the Wall St. implosion is, and how the ultimate price tag is going to be at least $2.5 TRILLION.

Wondering how long it’s gonna be before McCain is going to suddenly discover his deep, obvious and longstanding love of proto-Marxist interventionist economic policy.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/26754253#26754253

I WAS NOT MOCKING AIRWOLF, STRINGFELLOW HAWKE FOR MOTHERFUCKING PRESIDENT!!!!1!ONE!