Blogging Election Blogging
We were pretty busy over the weekend (hating America is a full-time job,) and as a result only had so much time to devote to watching coverage of the Iraqi elections. You can imagine our delight, then, when we found out that Roger L. Simon was doing live blogging of the Iraqi elections. We knew we had picked the right place to stop when we read the opening post:
Rivera gets a lot of bad press, but the man has guts and he has a heart. In the old days he was considered a liberal… and he still is in my book. It’s his critics who have gone the other way.
What followed were brief comments on what CNN and FOX were showing, along the lines of this:
7:12 – Back on Fox… showing people voting in Baghdad and somewhere else… so far no violence… fingers crossed.
7:15 – Sunni officials voting early to show the Sunnis that they should vote. Good idea.
Should you care to read the original, you know where to go. What we can offer you are the edited out comments Simon wanted to post, but that were removed by his editors. So we offer: Election Blogging ? la Roger Simon: The Non-Expurgated Version:
7:03 – Did you ever get the feeling like you’ve had a haircut but you didn’t have one?
7:12 – Oh damn, I forgot to buy plant food again… I’ll bet I got a coupon for it.
7:26 – It’s so great that all our hard work is paying off. And I didn’t even get injured!
7:36 – Am I the only one who finds Geraldo’s mustache to be a huge turn on?
8:14 – Oh damn. They changed the cable stations again… just when I finally memorized them.
8:23 – I wonder if Geraldo will call me that I emailed him my phone number through the Talk to Us section of his web site.
8:45 – Once this is over, I’m going to celebrate by buying a new hat.
8:57 – Do you guys think I might be Geraldo’s type?
9:04 – I bet Michael Moore is eating a lot of donuts right now.
9:12 – I don’t like the people who are on CNN talking, so I’m going to turn off my TV.
9:33 – I’m back. Some people got killed when I was away, but not enough for me to care.
9:41 – I bet Geraldo doesn’t have to use AbsorbShun to feel big.
9:49 – I can’t stand these guys. You give your number to them and then they don’t call. Why do they do that?
Roger, he’s just not that into you.
Judging from the numerous typos, I think Roger was drinking (heavily) while live blogging. And, of course, why else would watching Kurds vote make Roger cry (9:16) if all the gin hadn’t made him weepy?
But the best comment is this:
Nah, just a few suicide bombers here and there. As long as only Iraqis get whacked its no big deal. What a wanker.
Rivera gets a lot of bad press, but the man has guts and he has a heart. In the old days he was considered a liberal… and he still is in my book.
Does this mean, in Simon’s world, that people with “guts and heart” are liberal? Wow. The picture is becoming clearer…
An absurd amount of fodder in that train wreck of a post…
7:47 – Strange to see Clinton suddenly appear on HEadline News, walking about Davos. Evidently he admitted his error in Rwanda – could have saved two or three hundred thousand lives. Yes, he could have. Bush stepped up in IRaq. Times have changes.
Yeah, instead of doing nothing while innocent people get killed, now we start the wars ourselves! Huzzah!
9:40 – Mubarak is getting dissed on Fox. He deserves it. IRaq gets democracy. Why not Egypt? Time to eliminate hypocrisy from foreign policy. We’re on the way.
Oh, I guess we’re invading Egypt now. It blows my mind that Darwinism has yet to weed out more people like Simon…
Hmmm… I folowed your link and noticed there are thousands of people on this Simon’s site and almost no one here. Don’t feel bad. You are lucky. There is a little chance he will spend much time parodying you.
He would have been better off buying some bunyan stories…
You are lucky. There is a little chance he will spend much time parodying you.
Yeah, the self-parody is a full-time job.
Anyway, nice job, Seb. I really hope that Simon doesn’t join the class-action “He Hurt Our Feelings” lawsuit initiated by Cynthia and Scott.
He is too busy parodying himself, fuckstick
I find this election more exciting than our own. IT’s the risk factor, I guess.
OOhh, Roger gets all bulbous and tingly. Well, I thought the 2004 US election had a high risk factor. And once again, the odds went against me.
Evidently he admitted his error in Rwanda – could have saved two or three hundred thousand lives.
Yeah, right – like Congress would have let him. Clinton had absolutely no political capital in 1994, having used it all up on gays in the military and his big healthcare thingy.
Average people often tend to forget this. Reasonable facsimilies of people intentionally overlook it. I wonder which category Roger the Revisionist fits into . . .
I wonder which category Roger the Revisionist fits into …
He fits into
Roger’s extra small raincoat
after all he is a dick.
Chaeck out the pedophiles in the comments.
I pray that small boys will play soccer in the streets tomorrow.
Allah Akbar!
8:22 – Everyone is saying this vote is far from perfect, but what is a perfecdt vote anyway? I have no idea.
Um, one where everyone can vote safely without the threat of death, tampering, voter fraud, corruption, etc.?
Someone toss this douche a dictionary. Please.
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2005/01/30.html#a1458 has the embarrasing Rivera video clip if you want to take a look. Also some of the rightwing bloggers hysteria
Psst.
I am disappointed. I cannot account for The Simon’s breathless tone. He does not indicate what he was wearing while blogging. I suspect that the breathless quality of his style is indicative of his wearing red thong underwear, lime green silk thigh socks with black studded and spiked boots.
As he gets progressively weepier, I would guess that The Simon is misperceiving his keyboard as a sex toy.
Also, Seb, you do such an amazing job of channeling The Simon’s self parody. What are we to make of that? 😉
Also, Seb, you do such an amazing job of channeling The Simon’s self parody.
You’d be amazed how many of those came from Seinfeld episodes. 😉
Yep, we’re heading off into Egypt, Syria and Iran next. But if you think there’s going to be a draft, you’re stupid.