Ka-POW, Again
In order to defend St. John McTheusalah from charges that he is computer-illiterate, Jonah the Whale and some of the other dim bulbs of the blogosphere, have dug up a quotation from an eight-year-old Boston Globe article and played the POW “Get Out of Stupid Free” Card:
McCain’s severe war injuries prevent him from combing his hair, typing on a keyboard, or tying his shoes.
Well, if true, this explains a few other things:
- The reason that McCain wears $520 Ferragamo loafers is because he can’t tie his shoes.
- The reason that his Senate office tried to cover-up Cindy McCain’s drug addiction problem was because, if she went into treatment, there wouldn’t be anyone around to comb his hair.
- The reason that McCain campaign aides took away his unlimited cell phone privileges is because he dialed too many wrong numbers on the cell phone keyboard
There is not going to be any end to this.
UPDATE: Oh my word. I didn’t read the link to Jonah the Whale carefully:
The reason he doesn’t send email is that he can’t use a keyboard because of the relentless beatings he received from the Viet Cong in service to our country.
Jonah, the distinguished historian whose careful review of twentieth century history led him to the conclusion that liberals have always been the real fascists, is completely unaware that the Viet Cong was a communist army based in South Vietnam and that McCain was captured and held by the North Vietnamese Army. Even Lucianne must be embarrassed for Jonah at this point.
Those injuries do not, apparently, prevent him from running a presidential fucking campaign for over a year.
No excuses, please.
Wait, MULTIPLE presidential campaigns. Can’t forget that.
What hair?
McCain’s injuries also prevent him from braiding his pubes. But that’s why God created Jonah Goldberg.
John McCain will not launch a nuclear strike because he cannot push the button. Think of that, lieberuls.
Fortunately, his war injuries did not impede his ability to commit adultery.
The fact is, shut up. Picking on veterans and the disabled does not play well here in the Heartland.
The fact is, I’ve got news for you. The so called “human beings” that our troops are bombing from the air are the same blood thirsty savages that danced in the streets when 3000 innocent Americans were ruthlessly slaughtered on 9/11.
What do you have no shame? You have sympathy for these barbarians from the dark ages yet none for the citizens of your own country? President Bush has done a excellent job of keeping our nation safe since the 9/11 atrocities. We have not had another attack on American soil in 7 years. No one could have predicted that kind of success, myself included.
But you basement dwelling liberals who do nothing for America but mock our President and our brave men and women fighting for our freedom, dare have the tenacity to demand that we stop bombing the cities of our enemies who have sworn our destruction. You demand that we give habeus corpus to captured terrorist scum when they behead our soldiers, blow themselves up in market places full of innocent women and children and dance in the steets at every attack on the West.
Good thing John McCain is going to be elected in November. He will continue Bush’s legacy of taking the fight to our enemies. And I for one hope we continue to bomb those savages back to the stone age. They are worthless and have contributed nothing to civilization in over 1000 years.
By demanding that we give these savages rights, you jerks are no better than the Europeans who collaberated with the Nazis during the Second World War.
I am Gary Ruppert and I approved this message.
What’s truly absurd about this is that no matter how much photographic evidence is produced showing McCain is perfectly capable of operating a computer, no matter how many times McCain himself says he’s learning to work email and the Web–but still needs lessons–no matter how completely refuted this meme is, Jonah and the rest of the clodpates will stand by their fautrage.
McCain’s injuries also prevent him from wiping himself. That’s what lobbyists are for.
Please tell me that photo isn’t real.
If it is real, where is it on the innertubes…
The fact is, liberal bias in the media keeps the true message of freedom and the success of the War On Terror from spreading. Liberals want tus to loose, to fail, so they lie in the media and try to make Bush look bad. Not working here in the Heartland.
The fact is, the fastest way to me is through Stomachland.
Other people have told him about Drudge. I really don’t see why he needs to know anything else.
Apparently his severe injuries don’t prevent him from driving a car either.
Or maybe Jonah thinks his nurse occasionally lets him sit in the driver’s seat and make “vroom vroom” noises.
Liberals want tus to loose
Gary, you’ve got a screw lose.
Gary,
Good job the United States has no history of meddling in the Middle East prior to 9/11 or it would make your entire argument invalid.
Not being able to take care of yourself could really make you feel very dependent and vulnerable. Always having that deeply humiliating episode of your life rubbed in your face each and every day. Combine that with PTSD to the nth degree and you’ve got one crazy nutcase.
McCain was in a war?
Has anyone alerted the media as to this previously unknown story?
I was wondering when you were going to get to this. Check out this thread at Balloon-Juice, where we learn among other things that some people use a keyboard that hangs over their head and that Jonah doesn’t know that the Viet Cong was in the south, not the north.
Didn’t the Medicare prescription drug thing include a WEBSITE, that the elderly and disabled are expected to learn to navigate in order to receive their benefits? I don’t really think these people will have much sympathy for the extreme right’s play for pity on a sick old man.
Fortunately, St. McPOW’s injuries have not prevented him from being able to call his wife a cunt. USA! USA! USA! USA!
If he’s so damged and fragile , wouldn’t that be a good argument AGAINST electing him president. I would think the stress that comes with the job would be more than a senile gimp could handle.
Well, Goldberg has certainly changed my mind with this very relevant and noteworthy post. Looks I’ll be voting for McCain this November.
Thanks, Jonah! How did we ever get along without you? You’re a national treasure!
If teh Pantload and others are out there defending McCain on this point, they must think he is vulnerable. Gee, I wonder if even they are dubious about Lady Palin of the Readiness’ performance with Charlie Gibson. The second installment was even more damaging that the first.
Give him a BlackBerry. That’s how we get rid of pesky wanna-be executives around here.
Could I just say, really?
So McCain can’t use a keyboard? Odd that during the Paralympics, Pantload should come up with such errant crap. I just saw a woman win a gold medal in show jumping and she had no arms or hands at all, for fuck’s sake. I don’t know why he bothers.
P.S. I just typed that comment with my nose and if McCain can’t even do that then I think he should give up and let me be the Republican candidate. I won’t throw it, promise. I certainly won’t call an immediate press conference and show the American people my ass while shouting, ‘Suck on it, librul fashists!’ Why would I do a thing like that?
McCain hates the idea of using a blackberry to communicate because it makes his fingers all purple and sticky.
Why on earth does it even matter if he knows his way around computers? What a complete non-issue. Now having Jonah on your side is a BIG tip-off that nobody should vote for you…
That is to say – not quite.
i am writ6ing this special comment withh my nose on behalf of america’s disabled;
choke on it momma’s boy
LOL! Ever since Owens was outed as The Truth, that cowfucker hasn’t been around since. What a pussy.
Oh dear, someone get the Malkin thing on the phone to explain to the McCain camp how to properly make up crowd estimates:
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601070&sid=a1J0tfV3XJYs&refer=politics
Es una vil mentira que yo fornico con vacas. Yo soy un hombre de cabras y chivos, nada mas.
Whoa, Twoofie is Bob Owens? Was he trolling this site to get his grill back? No one here has it!
McAno cannot kill Osama with his bare hands because of his war wounds. He is clearly unfit for the presidency.
I am holding Bob Owens’ grill hostage.
the relentless beatings he received from the Viet Cong in service to our country.
Sorry to get all editor-ish, but does Jonah really mean that the Viet Cong were acting “in service to our country” when they were beating McCain?
I guess I can’t see how beating John McCain is in service to our country, but there must be a good reason. Those of us who don’t get to see the super-secret intelligence info that our President gets should just shut up and stop questioning our commanders-in-chief.
Beat away, Viet Cong!
Why on earth does it even matter if he knows his way around computers? What a complete non-issue.
The PC is such an integral part of modern life that I do find it strange that a person in his position would not even know how to use email. My parents are both older than McCain and they are computer literate. Unless of course you buy Jonah’s story. But if he can operate a cell phone and drive a car surely he could use a computer, no?
OT: On Sarah Palin’s “Iraq trip” she didn’t actually enter Iraq, though she was close enough to see Iraq. Does she ever not lie?
McCain’s severe war injuries prevent him from combing his hair, typing on a keyboard, or tying his shoes.
And playing tag and pouring tea
And turnin’ pages of his book.
(Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)
If McCain doesn’t know the difference between Sunni and Shiite, then why should we expect Jonah to know the difference between the Viet Cong and the North Vietnamese Army/Vietnam People’s Army?
Clearly, us libtards have failed to absorb the true meaning of the Bush doctrine: if you aren’t with us, you are all a single amorphous blob of freedom-hating brown people.
When’d Troofie get outed?
Whoa, Twoofie is Bob Owens?
I dunno. The Truth originally claimed to be from Canada and even knew some things about the country.
I doubt Owens has ever been outside his own county.
The so called “human beings” that our troops are bombing from the air are the same blood thirsty savages that danced in the streets when 3000 innocent Americans were ruthlessly slaughtered on 9/11.
We’re bombing Palestine? Cuz that’s where the supposed “dancing in the street” photos were from.
Does she ever not lie?
Would Palin be lying if she said she never lied? Absolutely. Would she be lying if she said she never told the truth? Ah, now that’s where you start getting into deep waters. Ask Epimenides. Or Bertie Russell.
Alternatively, have a rubber brick handy so that you do not do too much damage to your screen.
How stupid does someone have to be, BTW, to actually assert that because a person had their hands injured 40 years ago, they can’t perform everyday functions today? Injured or disabled people adapt precisely so they can perform everyday functions. To follow Jonah’s logic we’d have to believe that a man who was unable to adapt himself to perform everyday functions after 40 years is the best candidate to lead the country.
the extra special bonus that is Jonah comes when you read his first post asking “does anyone know?” about McCain’s functionality, and then less than an hour later he posts his assertions. Luv that thorough research, Jonah!
Gary, darlin, Republicans before & during WWII tried their best to obstruct FDR from fighting the Nazis. They kept blocking aid to England, for instance, at a time when Churchill was desperately in need of it and little England was standing alone against the Nazis.
Also, it wasn’t 3000 Americans that were murdered on 9/11. The number wasn’t 3000, the people were not all Americans.
I don’t expect much from anyone who continues to support the KnowNothing party. And with my exceedingly low expectations of you & your kind, I am seldom disappointed.
Facts, smacts, right?
Hey, I can see the Moon outside my window. Therefore, I’ve been there and know everything about it.
Fuck you, Neil Armstrong!
See, you’d think that, but that’s because you weren’t raised by Lucianne Goldberg, for whom ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are black-and-white moral absolutes, and also mean ‘good for the Republican Party’ and ‘bad for the Republican Party’.
You wouldn’t think it ‘right’ (or whatever you liberal elitists like to call whatever ‘good’ would be in a universe where God hasn’t specifically favored the GOP forever) to torture a young man in an infamous prison to win a jaded politico the Presidency.
See, that’s the problem with you Democrats: you’re moral relativists. You can’t put your foot down and say that torture is good if it gets a Republican elected and bad if it doesn’t. What you learned of conscience, as Mark Twain would say, you got from being a homo.
I think the Obama campaign should do a travelogue kind of ad about Palin – they could show her at the layover in Ireland, at the checkpost in Kuwait (ooops, I mean Iraq – er, no I don’t) , etc.
And I still want to know whether she’s even travelled in the US!
Well, she’s from Idaho, right?
Idaho has a true cross-section of the American people, I’m sure.
Well, she’s from Idaho, right?
Idaho has a true cross-section of the American people, I’m sure.
Well, there’s your potato farmers – you know, giant corporate entities that the government behaves like everything revolves around. Your mind-bogglingly destructive extraction carried out under the table. You got a couple of centers of straggling civilization buried under teeming masses of idiots, who the government likes to condescend to whenever they’re not sucking off the megafarms and mountain-blasters. Many more Mexicans and Arabs and other immigrants – legal and otherwise – than you’d think, all working a lot harder than they will ever get credit for.
And, of course, the real Americans, the rock-ribbed well-meaning moderates; they’re true patriots and they know in their hearts what’s right for their country, and to a man they’ll die to defend the honor of the Aryan Nation.
I mean – uh – Old Glory. No faggits!
Why do Martha Reeves and the Vandellas hate America?
I understand now — the limitations caused by his injuries have made him unprepared to be president.
Dear sirs,
a dispatch from the greatestest movie ever.
Apologies if you’ve already seen it, but it was news to me.
Why do Martha Reeves and the Vandellas hate America?
Mandatory Youtube!
Balloon Juice had the best take on Teh Pantload’s latest…
At this point I’m not beyond thinking that it’s a new strategy. Just make the whole affair so incredibly moronic and odious that everybody but the hardest core hate fiends stays home.
McCain reads a map as he drives. His arms are kinda whacked I guess.
I hope they really play this up. It worked so well last time.
Get him a pen to hold. I think Bob Dole has one.
there are ergonomically designed keyboards, keyboards for people with only one hand, keyboards embedded flatly into tables, several kinds of voice recognition software. I think he’s telling the truth when he says he doesn’t see the need to learn because he’s got flunkies. See, he can’t be elitist even if he’s got flunkies to do the most mundane of functions for him. I hope the next version of this ad has all these photos of mcmansions on the cellphones included.
about those ‘american carol’ ads, those ads are supposed to the funniest moments in the movie, the moments that people will get off their couches and pay $8.50 for.
they sucked. neville chamberlain and gay arabs, that’s their underlying concept?
Indeed, that is central to their point. Oh, and Michael Moore is fat.
I’m sorry, but how can one receive permanent injuries from “Enhanced Interrogation Techniques?” McCain must have slipped in the shower or walked into the door of his tiger cage to have sustained those ouchies.
Righteous Bubba, I fixed that link to the Palin Petition:
New Palin Petition
I guess McCain hasn’t heard of Dragonspeak…oh, wait a minute, maybe he has….
Righteous Bubba, I fixed that link to the Palin Petition:
New Palin Petition
WordPress ate my homework I think. Sry if this turns out to be a double post.
Righteous Bubba, I fixed that link to the Palin Petition:
New Palin Petition
WordPress ate my homework a second time. Sry if this turns out to be a duplicate post. Why, oh why?
Righteous Bubba, I fixed that link to the Palin Petition:
http://yo-god.com/comics/www.palinpetition.com.htm
WordPress ate my homework a third time. Sry if this turns out to be a duplicate post. I’m trying w/out the HTML.
It took me a while to get that. Funny.
At debates and senate hearings and stuff, McCain scribbles things on a legal pad. If you can take notes and doodle with a pen, you can operate a keyboard. Unless all he’s writing with his pen is “Damn these useless hands that don’t enable me to write!” over and over.
I sent Jonah an email yesterday alerting him to the fact that voice recognition software has been available for eons for people who can’t type. It’s also relatively cheap, like the McCain campaign must be if they can’t afford to buy it for their – according to Jonah – disabled candidate.
Even Lucianne must be embarrassed for Jonah at this point.
Nah, she’d just invent some shit like his arms don’t work good and he mistyped.
The fact is, this is the essence of every wingnut rebuttal to anything a liberal says.
This merely serves to proves Jonah’s point.
Well, yes. It’s biting political satire, you know, because we fondly trace our political heritage to a night of passion between Neville Chamberlain and a strapping Pashtun youth.
Let’s hope there’s not a joke in there about how we abandoned our nation’s daughters to the secret Jew Clinton, because then we’ll be destroyed.
Republican Senators Class of 2007.
Wide Stance
narrow minds
Furthermore, Senator John McCain shares the stage with a pig.
The fact is, fuck you, liberals.
I knew someone, rest his soul, who was in a lung machine and still logged on to his computer almost daily. McCain’s got no excuse, he just doesn’t really care.
Unless all he’s writing with his pen is
“Damn these useless hands that don’t enable me to write!”“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”over and over.Fixed.Upgraded to version 3.1.Jesus, those American Carol clips…”they sucked” is far to kind. And yet, those assholes still gave it five stars! Actually, is any youtube clip with more than ten or so ratings that doesn’t get five stars? How useless are youtube ratings? Rhetorical question I know.
I knew someone, rest his soul, who was in a lung machine and still logged on to his computer almost daily. McCain’s got no excuse, he just doesn’t really care.
Yeah, my granddad has crippling emphysema and some kind of terrible cornea wasting, is older than McCain, and spends all day online.
The idea that McCain is physically incapable of using a computer is ridiculous and insulting. It’s like trying to beg sympathy for his violent and regressive policies on women’s rights by remotely declaring him double-impotent. Then again, ‘ridiculous and insulting’ has been a bit of a campaign theme, hasn’t it?
McCain/Palin ’08: You Racist Idiot, Black Osama Will Kill Your Child
I know satire is long dead.
But just in case:
Democrats Need to Shake
The ‘Elitist’ Tag
By LYNN FORESTER DE ROTHSCHILD
September 11, 2008; Page A13
Thank you, WSJ.
You’d think someone of the analog generation wouldn’t need reminding of the 10 o’clock and 2 o’clock principle of driving.
Because no one anywhere on teevee or online seems to be saying “what Obama needs to do,” let me: he needs to campaign hard against really old people retaining driver licenses. The absence of a Mr. Magoo meme is a clear sign of Obama’s failure to lead.
Hope you like your inauguration motorcades plowing into crowds!
Nothing like getting lectures on elitism from a Rothschild.
At least republicans are consistent. They lecture you on human and fetus rights while murdering thousands. You can be pretty sure that if a republican lectures you about something, they themselves are beyond-guilty of it themselves.
The McCain campaign has just trapped Obama.
Obama has now MOCKED an AMERICAN HERO for his wounds inflicted on him by the enemy.
Barack Obama has NEVER sacrificed a thing for his nation. Obama refused to serve his country as a young man.
Now Obama is mocking McCain for his war wounds?
Does this sound like the sort of man you want to be President?
Oh wait, you’re Democrats.. you spit on soldiers anyways.
Obama’s campaign is going down in flames. They’re desperate and America will not tolerate Barry Hussein Obama spitting on an American hero.
neville chamberlain and gay arabs, that’s their underlying concept?
I thought there were one or two amusing moments in there. Like when the protestors start a chant based on everything the Michael Moore guy says (though that’s kinda ripped off from Life of Brian).
The rest of it looked like standard Zucker boilerplate. If it turns out to be genuinely funny, I’m willing to laugh, regardless of the political slant. Unlike the wingnuts, I don’t automatically give a film a failing grade just because it demonstrates some sympathy for an idea I don’t like. Let them be the PC police.
Another 2000 source
Yep, Obama just got suckered.. big time.. McCain reeled him in there.
Gary, haven’t we warned you before that reading freeper public will warp your poor little brain?
I just bought these pants. Hee. Will definitely wear same on voting day if only to offend as many conservatives as possible.
You McCain’s wife has so little human dignity and tact that she’s been lapping that cheesy combover onto his cadaverous looking fore-skull these past 26 years?
No wonder he calls her a c*** and a trollop, she obviously hates him.
-GSD
Gary Ruppert said,
The fact is, shut up. Picking on veterans and the disabled does not play well here in the Heartland.
Gary had bandaids with purple hearts on his cheeks in 2004.
Jesus, those American Carol clips…”they sucked” is far to kind. And yet, those assholes still gave it five stars! Actually, is any youtube clip with more than ten or so ratings that doesn’t get five stars? How useless are youtube ratings? Rhetorical question I know.
I’d give it five stars, if only to ensure that more people see it.
Gary had bandaids with purple hearts on his cheeks in 2004.
I am predicting a wave of popularity for these.
My sister has those, and it’s scary how much they actually look like real bacon.
I just bought these pants.
The rainbow pants would work too. Add a gauze top, macramé handbag and big round glasses and you’re set to go.
Forget about the notion that Jonah has been inhaling Cheeto-dust. It’s pretty clear that he’s cooking up and mainlining the stuff directly into his tear ducts.
The McCain campaign has just trapped Obama.
That’s some serious jenkim you’re smoking there Gary.
noen, I’m way too old for those rainbow pants. The granny glasses might be a nice touch though. In lavendar.
Oh wait, you’re Democrats.. you spit on soldiers anyways.
BTW Gary, if that is you, Dems didn’t spit on any soldiers. That was your government. Your government sent out it’s agents to spit on returning soldiers in order to discredit the anti-war movement. And they’d do it again too because when all that matters is hate you’re willing to do anything.
In fact, I remember about a year ago reading a report about a black SUV will beefy guys, all in black, who jumped some returning Iraq vet. They shouted obscenities and anti-war slogans at him (operant conditioning) . Sound like liberals to you? They were government operatives shitting on their own. That’s the kind of people you hang with.
Lesley, somewhere or other I have a purple tie-dye t-shirt with a big mushroom on front that would go great with those pants.
Lavender would be great. And replace the macramé handbag with hemp.
They’re desperate and America will not tolerate Barry Hussein Obama spitting on an American hero.
If it’s just spit, yeah, that’s not cool with me at all. Kinda gratuitous.
But if it’s one of those thick, sticky, pea-green gobs brought up from the deepest parts of the bronchial tree, the kind that slides ever-so-slowly down the cheek of the person who’s been hit, well if that’s the case, I’m all for it.
Aim for the eyes. That shit burns something fierce when it hits the eyes.
maybe jonah’s accidentally let the cat out of the bag here. Maybe McCain was actually bombing south vietnam because he was too incompetent to read a map.
A request for advice from the Sadly, No! commentariat. Like many, I’ve run my name through the Sarah Palin Baby Name generator. I did it more than once and wanted to share the results. I have a first name, a middle name, and a last name. The results:
I’m partial to one in particular, but I wanted to hear what you all have to say.
“The reason he doesn’t send email is that he can’t use a keyboard because of the relentless beatings he received from the Viet Cong in service to our country.”
It explains a lot to realize that the Viet Cong were on our side.
The fact is, HA HA! You know nothing. All your attempts to make McCain look bad backfiring, all attemptes to make Barry Hussien Osama look goo are also doomed. We see reality as it is in the Heartland. McCain is a war hero maverick who talks straight and demonstrates geniune leadership. Osama is a communist who will raise taxes and support gay rights. and sell our USA to terroriss, and his wife hates America.
John Fund’s name comes up as Seagull Junker
Totally repulsed by this scumbag on Real Time.
Shorter JF: “Charlie Wilson was a big meany for not spelling out the Bush doctrine for Palin, who shouldn’t be expected to know even though she’s the Republican VP candidate.”
oops, Charlie
WilsonGibsonGaaaaaaaaary, it’s time for your afternoon nap. Come quickly or there won’t be any cheetos for you, young man.
Sen. McCain: Behold the executive style of the person you selected as the Republican candidate for vice president.
heh… gary’s mom said come quickly.
The fact is that as one of the most disabled members of this blog in the heartland, I am aware of the internet traditions that slander small-town American Prisoners of War, which just proves my point, which is shut up, faggit.
Do any republics here have any leftover purple heart mock-veterans bandaid from the 2004 campaign for McPOW?
What are some reasons to vote for McCain?
Legitimate ideological belief in limited government and states’ rights, free markets and a strong defense
I heard that J. Sidney requires the assistance of two lobbyists every morning just to wipe his ass. Oh the sacrifice that man has made for his country. Poor poor John.
Has anyone else heard this story? I couldn’t find the link.
Gary is napping now so you won’t be bothered by him for a few hours. I put him to sleep with the sledgehammer. It’s the only thing his iron skull responds to.
Appropriately enough, “Gary Ruppert” comes up as “Bush Gator Palin”
What are some reasons to vote for McCain?
Legitimate ideological belief in limited government and states’ rights, free markets and a strong defense
That is fine a cartoon.
But I can’t help but feel that kitties are overly maligned. At worst, they’re Megan McArdles with far more common sense and self awareness. Plus not born on third base, thinking they hit a triple.
Ann Althouse has photos up of her feet in the pool. I’m grateful she’s wise enough to not post any more than that.
Past that she’s all about praising McCain’s attack ads. This doesn’t mean she’s made up her mind though!
Althouse’s blog subtitle: “I have taken a vow of cruel neutrality.”
Now that’s a laugh right there.
another precious post from the mindfuck goddess of the intertubes.
She assumed he was a vet because in Amy’s mind, all American vets ride bicycles covered with American flags and other assorted patriotic doodads.
He’s been here 30 years and is still working the green card. Which means he’s got very little security. Ok, none. He’s still an Iranian citizen who could be shipped back at the whim of the State dept any old time. Either he doesn’t want citizenship in his favourite country or he can’t get it.
Notice how she assumes she knows his political views? He hasn’t told her squat about who he’d vote for if he could; only that he appreciates living in a democracy (something the neocons certainly don’t support what with their disdain for the constitution, their secret prisons and torture bills, eavesdropping on Americans, illegal invasions and Old Testament morality.)
Beyond what he allegedly told her about his status we know nothing about this guy’s political views.
New Obama ad.
“If seven of McCain’s top advisors are lobbyists,” the announcer warns, “who do you think will run his White House?”
They listened to me! They really, really like me!
Dammit wordpress!
New Obama ad.
“If seven of McCain’s top advisors are lobbyists,” the announcer warns, “who do you think will run his White House?”
Can we agree this is good!?
GARY! I told you to quit stroking your tallywhacker to that 8×10 of MooseHunter.
J— :
Hump Gizzards Palin or Stag Tunnel Palin, but I’m not sure which is dirtiest.
Y’know, I realize that Gary’s an idiot and all, but it occurs to me that his first problem has some… logic issues. Yeah, surprise.
If the reason we’re bombing the shit out of Iraq is because Palestine was dancing on 9/11 due to a religious observance that was going on that day anyway.
Then obviously, women and children were dancing too.
So, if the Iraqis are all guilty enough to be bombed because of Palestinian dancers, logically, any women and children they decide to bomb themselves (being as how it’s unlikely they’ll ever get past local community bombing) are just as guilty.
So, really, they’re doing you a service, Gary. So why demean their contribution to your raging hard-on to slaughter Iraqis? Those women and children aren’t going to blow up themselves…
Well, they might. But again, this just further goes to improve your massacre.
I get them mixed up … Is Ann Althouse the stupid one … or the really stupid one … or the REALLY stupid one? I think I’m getting her mixed up with Kathryn Lopez and Diana West.
From Iran.[…] what is now Terroristville
Not gonna follow the link. I cannot afford to lose any more IQ points through osmosis.
Has anyone reverse-engineered the Palin Name generator? If I wanted to be called (for instance) Carpal Tunnel Palin, what should my original name be?
Speaking of “words that sound dirty but aren’t”,
Aspic.
Obama sacrificed “The Really Big Money” for “Pretty BIg Money and helping other people.”
..And that scares the living shit out of you like he’s the Goddamned Batman.
I approve.
I’m aware that liberals have tried to apologize for and distort the reality of the celebrations
Bullshit. And you need to change your name to “Liar.”
Lesley:
Well, actually, if he’s been here 30 years, he’s just at the right stage to be here as an exile when the Ayatollahs overthrew America’s puppet-ruler, and as a result is likely to acquire the same in-exile talent for psychotic jingoism of their newly claimed country.
The same way the Vietnamese exiles, Cuban exiles, Chinese exiles or exiles from back in the Soviet days reliably vote Republican.
So, Amy’s probably right in that he won’t vote for Obama. The reasoning for this is painful to think about, of course.
Leon, he can’t vote. He’s still on green card status.
It’s especially easy when you make it up as you go along.
“Liberals believe in a magical unicorn, but then dispute its existence when I say they do! Your hypocrisy sickens me, liberals!”
I thought the Sarah Palin generator might just be random, but entering a given name always produces the same result. So it should be possible to reverse engineer it, although I wouldn’t have the slightest idea how. Interestingly (perhaps), entering “Sarah Palin” produces Flack Gobbler Palin; just entering “Sarah” gives Claw Washout Palin. My own name gives a number of interesting results, depending on the inclusion of my middle and/or last names, and whether I identify as “Andy” or “Andrew”. My two favorites are Fog Piles Palin (“Andy” + my last name), and Muzzle Mammoth Palin (“Andy + middle name + last name).
So Owens, what you’re trying to say is that some Muslims dancing on 9/11 justifies killing any and all Muslims in perpetuity? You do realize that we’ve hung people for meting out collective punishments like that, right?
To follow your logic, any non-dancing Muslims we’ve killed justifies the unlimited murder of any and all Americans. Is that what you’re trying to say, you treason-loving jackass?
Why does Truther justify the murder of innocent Americans? Why does Bob Owens hate America so?
As for reverse engineering the Palin name generator, if it could be done it would reveal the real names of everyone who posted their Palin name. I personally don’t give a shit, but some of us Sadlynauts might have good reasons for not having our real names known.
Let’s just leave well enough alone here…
Yes, the celebrations happened.
No, the people we’ve killed were not the ones in the video.
There was video of Israelis celebrating the attacks too. Should we start killing Jews?
Iranians mourned the attacks and sent the US their condolences. Does that make Iran our ally?
I’ve seen video of Americans cheering on the deaths of their fellow Americans. Does that mean we should start killing Americans?
Do you have any point beyond “ZOMG dancing!!!!!!1!” or what?
liberal Professors have defended 9/11 as righteous payback to the US for its past actions
What’s that? Someone else is stealing my schtik? Who are my competitors? I want details, damnit!
As for reverse engineering the Palin name generator, if it could be done it would reveal the real names
Fortunately it’s a many-to-one function. Mumble mumble hash-table blah blah blah. The Great Gazoogle reveals that (for instance) J– is not the only Puck Mule Palin.
Yeah, I liked Hump Gizzards and Stag Tunnel, and of those two, I prefer the former because of the utter uncoolness of gizzards.
The Great Gazoogle reveals…
Nor am I the only Hump Gizzards. I feel so used!
George Bush gave up the hunt for Osama in 2003 because he was no longer a concern. Then he invaded a country that had nothing to do with the attacks and in the process murdered thousands of innocent civilians and American soldiers. He has yet to attend a single funeral of an American soldier, preferring photo ops with disabled veterans he sacrificed for nothing.
The Truth who rants about terrorists has never enlisted and will never enlist to fight the wars he so enthusiastically supports.
If it’s any consolation, I am not unique in being Buster Taint Palin. Time to form a Face Book community accessible only to Buster Taint Palins!
I’m not making any larger argument other than that G mischaracterized the Muslim celebrations of 9/11.
You also claimed that “liberal Professors have defended 9/11 as righteous payback to the US for its past actions.” I DEMAND to know the names of my competitors!
I cast my vote for Hump Gizzards Palin, as the lesser of two evils.
This has absolutely nothing to do with this thread, but I just read online that David Foster Wallace killed himself. I am stunned.
Jrod, my ambition extended only to calling out G’s distortion that the Muslim celebration of the 9/11 attacks were “supposed.”
Two words, bro: “Dancing Israelis.”
Do the Google, ya know?
Truth,
It must be hard going through life so full of hate. I would feel bad for you if you weren’t such a compassionless fucktard.
Truther, you said:
G was pointing out that the US is not, in fact, bombing those people.
Sorry you’re too simple to understand that. But keep howling about Gs placement of the word supposed, it makes you look really smart.
No, really.
The original quote was by a Gary Ruppert, by the way. Watch this become evidence of my librul hypocrisy in 3, 2…
Of course, liberal hypocrisy – imagined or not – justifies every innocent person killed by the Bush Administration’s over-reaction to the Bush Administration’s own failure to protect America on Sept. 11, 2001.
Called him out and proved what, exactly?
G was trying to say that the Muslim celebration of 9/11 was supposed.
But it is. That there were Muslims celebrating does not make a Muslim celebration, just as Christians shouting USA USA does not mean that Christendom is on America’s side.
G was trying to say that the Muslim celebration of 9/11 was supposed. It’s a typical liberal lie and I called him on it.
Macho manly men like g hate losing arguments especially to such observant opponents.
If I have license to mix and match I suggest Hump Tunnel Palin. Otherwise Hump Gizzards is pretty cool.
We’re getting motion-sickness.
Wow, you sure got me, Truther. Sure, rightwingers are using a video of one group dancing to justify the slaughter of an entirely other group, but some leftists used poor syntax and misattributed a quote for a whole minute before making a correction.
I think this shows the moral superiority of the far right. Defeated, I am, and so is Obama!
I typed this comment without using any fingers at all.
Bite me, Jonah.
Stag Tunnel Palin sounds eerily like one of the real kids
I’m a Hump Gizzards Palin kinda guy, myself
The fact is, HA HA! You know nothing. All your attempts to make McCain look bad backfiring, all attemptes to make Barry Hussien Osama look goo are also doomed. We see reality as it is in the Heartland. McCain is a war hero maverick who talks straight and demonstrates geniune leadership. Osama is a communist who will raise taxes and support gay rights. and sell our USA to terroriss, and his wife hates America.
The fact is, shouldn’t that be “realty”? Y’know, for consistency’s sake.
Liberals, I have a theory on why you can observe things like Muslims celebrating 9/11, professors cheering on 9/11 and domestic terrorism, etc, with such equanimity, but I’d like to understand it from you directly. You can’t possibly support such things (well, most of you anyway), but why doesn’t it bother you? I think I know but I’d love to hear it.
Because I hate you, Trebek.
You can’t possibly support such things (well, most of you anyway), but why doesn’t it bother you?
If being an asshole was a bombing offense America would be a crater.
Not wanting to indiscriminately bomb everyone who resembles people who say or do things I don’t like =/= support.
Of course it bothers me when people cheer the deaths of Americans, but frankly I have bigger things to worry about.
How fortunate for you that you don’t.
…professors cheering on 9/11…
That’s a new one to me. My old sociology prof actually cried in class. You do realize that professors are people, too, and not involved in some vast pinko conspiracy, right?
Then again, they’re all elites, so they probably shouldn’t be trusted…
ps- I plugged my name in the Palin name generator and got “Meat Notgay Palin”! Excellent!
Truth knows of one example, but has not responded to my puzzlement as to whether the plural is justified.
Hey, that Palin baby name generator is fun. I did myself, and I got Copper Catfish, Speck Backfire, and Snowshoe Man Palin based on different versions of my name. Then I made this list of Republican Presidents for you all, so you don’t have to. Aren’t I nice? Some of them are eerily appropriate:
Abraham Lincoln: Still Hardrock Palin
Theodore Roosevelt: Sack Panther Palin (Teddy Roosevelt: Recoil Zoo Palin)
Ronald Reagan: Shot Corrugated Palin
Richard Nixon, George Bush (yes, they were the same) Open Aircraft Palin
George Walker Bush: Nam Guadalupe Palin (I love this one)
George Herbert Walker Bush: Bang Walmart Palin (even better)
Dick Cheney (not a president, but this is just too good) Steam Fangs Palin
Now, for this year’s candidates:
John Sidney McCain III: Clop Clutch Palin
JiSM3: Bigger Channel Palin
Barack Obama: Tarp Lazer (sic) Palin
Barack Hussein Obama: Plate Jungle Palin
Sarah Palin: Flack Gobbler Palin
Sarah Heath Palin: Lock Pepper Palin
Joe Biden: Beans Harpoon Palin
Joseph Biden: Knife Pile Palin
Enjoy.
Shit, forgot Eisenhower: Cue Manhunt Palin.
Forget TiDoSY, my Ace-dar just went off.
Isaac Asimov used five typewriters simultaneously, writing for sixteen hours a day.
Bet you didn’t know that.
Liberals, I have a theory on why you can observe things like Muslims celebrating 9/11
I didn’t see that but I saw Israelis celebrating (Netenyahoo called it a “good thing). I also see Christians like Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church picketing military funerals with signs that say “Thank God for 9/11” (along with “God hates fags” and “Fags die, God laughs” and the like). We all observe these things. What’s your point? That we should slaughter all Christians, Jews and Muslims, along with anybody else that offends you sensibilities, all because some tiny fraction of a larger group act like assholes? By your own standards, the entire GOP ought to be gathered together in the desert and nuked. Live by the sword, die by the sword, dickhead.
Hey, I got Hump Gizzards Palin too! Kewl.
Liberals, I have a theory on why you can observe things like Muslims celebrating 9/11, professors cheering on 9/11 and domestic terrorism, etc, with such equanimity, but I’d like to understand it from you directly.
No, knobhead. What you want is (a) to claim that we heart Muslim terr’rsts and wacky professors, and (b) to crow about it. It saves you from having to (c)listen to what we’re saying and (d) think about it.
For instance, here’s my parallel of your bizarre accusations: Right-wingers, I have a theory on why you all rape toddlers, but I’d like to understand from you directly.
Do you understand at all, you fucking ignorant retard? Do you realise that your constant reiterations of “I know you all lurve Osama bin Laden and want to kill Murka” sound like the shrill bleatings of a particularly annoying child who’s just discovered a new dirty word? You ignore every single fucking attempt to correct your mistaken beliefs, and just go on repeating the same tired calumnies.
You know, you total fuckwit, you’re exactly the type of brain-dead loser who spent hundreds of years repeating the blood libel about Jews. Yeah, we all know they kill babies to use in their ceremonies, and you have a theory about it but want to know from their own lips why they do it.
Jesus fucking Christ on a stick, can you not understand the extraordinarily simple fact that we do not believe what you think we believe? Are you really so completely fucking stupid?
Sorry, Sadly,Nosers, but these fucksticks really stick in my craw. It’s like a goddamned parakeet shrieking “Polly want a fucking cracker!” ten million times a day.
So if some Muslims celebrated on 9/11 and some professors thought 9/11 was the nation’s just deserts, then what does it say about George Bush when he called 9/11 part of his “trifecta”?
Macho manly men like g hate losing arguments especially to such observant opponents.
macho manly men like g were sleeping while the observant opponents were practicing their kung-fu lightning moves. Sorry you went to all that trouble.
G was trying to say that the Muslim celebration of 9/11 was supposed. It’s a typical liberal lie and I called him on it. Your complete retreat from that statement shows that I’ve successfully called him out.
No, it means I was probably at dinner or asleep.
Take a look at this, liberals. There is nothing supposed about Muslims celebrating the mass murder of Americans.
Oh I see. Da Troof is citing that unimpeachable source YouTube!
Nothing to worry about: McCain and the Right want this to be a “co-presidency”, Palin having equal authority to run the country, correct?
So, in addition to be Co-President, she combs John’s hair, ties his shoesies, and learns him compootering.
That oughta satisfy “The Heartland”, which I can’t find on US map.
Certainly, it isn’t my ancestral home: The first president from my state, said it was his “fervent wish we have established a LIBERAL nation.” That would be George Washington for you smegmabreaths from “The Heartland.”
I’m wondering, Gary: did the current A.G., or the Justice Department certify that “interrogation” techniques were used by the N.V.A. (although I hear maybe he was NOT tortured, was indeed separated from fellow POW’s, and given special treatment, but those are just “details”, no need to dwell of facts, eh?) on McCain indeed equaled “Torture?”
Because, unless you have been in a cave the last 7 years, WE TORTURE NOW, cumgums. Thanks to you Republicans.
The Truth said,
September 14, 2008 at 22:13
Go away, Cornfed Wanker.
Truther, didn’t you have a theory to share with us? You know, the theory about why the left is full of inhuman monsters who enjoy it when our friends, neighbors and family are killed in pointless acts of violence? The theory you mentioned that explains why we’re all bloodthirsty ghouls because we don’t seize on any excuse to start slaughtering anyone over there who talks funny and happens to be within a thousand miles of some people of whom we have shocking footage showing them dancing, which could only have been in celebration of a vicious attack because those savages could never dance for any other reason besides watching Americans suffer?
Then you can explain again how we’re the really hateful ones.
The only thing you sorta got right is that I reject nationalism. I think Bill Hicks summed it up better than I could:
That, plus a few of nationalism’s fruits like World Wars I and II lead me to believe it’s completely fucking stupid.
Why should I give a shit about what Ward Churchill has to say? He has a right to say anything he wants and it doesn’t affect me. The fact that some people hate America doesn’t affect me either. Maybe you should grow some thicker skin, if you think mass carnage and death is an appropriate response to people not liking you.
Obviously people who try to kill us should be dealt with. It’s unfortunate that Bush decided it’d be better to let bin Laden go so he could invade Iraq.
Most Muslims were appalled by 9/11. Most human beings are appalled by bombings period. Sure, Muslim extremism is a problem, but we have our own extremists to deal with here.
In conclusion, why the fuck am I explaining this shit you you anyway? You are one of the extremists fucking up this world. Eat shit.
Man, older than prostitution and construction? America must be older than John McCain.
Truth, do you think a majority of Muslims are in favor of blowing the shit out of American civilians? I’m really curious to see how far you’ll go to stick your head up your ass.
“Worldwide, I’m sure the number is quite high”
Then you should have no problem presenting some sort of verifiable evidence to support your claim.
Your evidence, please.
>because of the relentless beatings he received from the Viet Cong in service to our country.
If only the Viet Cong would provide Jo, nah relentless beatings to prevent him from using a keyboard. Now that would be in service to our country.
WHY doesn’t it bother liberals when I tell them that Muslims celebrated 9/11? WHY doesn’t it bother liberals when I tell them that Muslims celebrated 9/11? WHY doesn’t it bother liberals when I tell them that Muslims celebrated 9/11? WHY doesn’t it bother liberals when I tell them that Muslims celebrated 9/11? WHY doesn’t it bother liberals when I tell them that Muslims celebrated 9/11? WHY doesn’t it bother liberals when I tell them that Muslims celebrated 9/11? WHY doesn’t it bother liberals when I tell them that Muslims celebrated 9/11? WHY doesn’t it bother liberals when I tell them that Muslims celebrated 9/11? WHY doesn’t it bother liberals when I tell them that Muslims celebrated 9/11? WHY doesn’t it bother liberals when I tell them that Muslims celebrated 9/11? WHY doesn’t it bother liberals when I tell them that Muslims celebrated 9/11? WHY doesn’t it bother liberals when I tell them that Muslims celebrated 9/11? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????
You know, Troofie, I think you are Bob Owens. You certainly are as fucking stupid as he is. Your link has the headline—”Muslim Americans: Middle Class and mostly mainstream”
You seem to have that ability to set up your own pwnage shared by few of your fellow reichtards. Only the ‘Load himself can out-stupid you in that regard.
OB, how about the link I just provided?
Yeah really. The headline is OMG MUSLIMS R KILLRZ! How does OB miss such clear evidence?
“OB, how about the link I just provided?”
Can you not read? Are you too fucking stupid to keep track of a single conversation? I hate having to handhold trolls through their own stupid arguments.
Here’s how it went down, Guessie. Pay SPECIAL attention to the word “Worldwide.” You posted it, so you should be able to keep it front and center in your skull.
Guessie: “Worldwide, I’m sure the number is quite high”
OB: “Then you should have no problem presenting some sort of verifiable evidence to support your claim. Your evidence, please.”
Guessie: “OB, how about the link I just provided?”
(headslap)
WORLDWIDE, nitwit. The headline in the link you posted is: “Muslim Americans: Middle Class and Mostly Mainstream”
America =/= worldwide.
Fucking idiot.