Shorter Ace
Posted on September 7th, 2008 by D. Aristophanes
- The vile Andrew Sullivan thinks he can get away with trashing Sarah Palin with nothing more than shamelessly unsourced speculation and nasty innuendo. What he didn’t count on was that my own righteously unsourced speculation and noble innuendo clearly shows that Barack Obama!!!!1! is the true source of Sullivan’s speculation and innuendo.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Tintin adds:
Even Shorter Ace
- Andrew Sullivan is a fag.
That’s reliability we can believe in.
“I’ve never felt so attracted to play doh and bacon.” – Ace
Ace’s motto. Fill in the blanks:
“Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the _______, and begin ________.”
This has really gotten Ass O Spazz’s dander up, because nothing ups his dander like blatant misogyny.
Regardless of what the leftwing smear-merchants and their complacent allies in the media do to try to manipulate this election in favor of the far-left, the American people are not going to be fooled.
They know that B. Hussein Obama is a leftwing ideologue and a race baiter. According to his voting record in the Illinois state legislature, Obama is a supporter of infanticide, as he voted against protecting babies who were born alive after failed abortions. This is position far beyond being pro-choice. This is infanticide! This is a postion so extreme that even the far-left Nancy Pelosi condemned it.
This position of Obama’s is a matter of public record. He voted this way in the Illinois state legislature. Do you think this sort of fringe postion is gonna go over well in the supposed “swing states” of Virginia, North Carolina and Indiana? These are some of the Solid Red States that Obama bin Biden has to win in order to become President. Good luck, now that the public has been made aware of his extremist postions on issues of life and race.
Heck, this sort of extremism may even swing Pennsylvania in our corner this election. I doubt the blue-collar workers in Pennslvania (who are more pro-life than the national average) are going to find Barry’s postion amusing. Face it lefties, your “messiah” ain’t gonna be elected President, not by a long shot. He is completely unelectable.
Try again, Saul. Say it with me—
“Shalom, gentlemen”
Someone please make a list of all the times these Republican crapweasels have said that dissent = treason. I wanna have some of their own quotes to throw back in their faces when Obama gets elected…
Yay, Saul is back!
Wingnut indignation is so cute. They should insert right-angled tubes in their ears, facing in opposite directions, so that when the steam comes out, their heads can rotate–and, yes, generate *clean energy.*
Scott, if Obama is inaugurated, the federal government will instantly shift back to being the root of all evil, the way it was in the 1990s under Clinton. The “real patriots” will revere the flag and the bible as they always have, while hating America and dissenting against everything Obama does, and blaming “Warshington” for everything. Dissent will no longer equal treason, failure to dissent will equal treason. All the stuff about “b-but sitting President!” and fainting couches and clutching pearls will vanish like smoke.
“Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the shotgun, and begin blasting away at the Negro president.”
Saul is Hannitys’ bitch.
Scott, if Obama is inaugurated, the federal government will instantly shift back to being the root of all evil, the way it was in the 1990s under Clinton. The “real patriots” will revere the flag and the bible as they always have, while hating America and dissenting against everything Obama does, and blaming “Warshington” for everything. Dissent will no longer equal treason, failure to dissent will equal treason. All the stuff about “b-but sitting President!” and fainting couches and clutching pearls will vanish like smoke.
And blowing up federal buildings in red states.
But of course it’s Democrats who support terrorists.
“the federal government will instantly shift back to being the root of all evil, the way it was in the 1990s under Clinton.”
You’re probably right, though I think a huge philosophical change has taken over the Republican party in the past couple of years. It will take some sort of New Gingrich to change that, I think.
In 1992 and again in 2000, the theme of community service was a huge part of the Republican platform. In 2008 it’s the Republicans’ biggest punchline. The notion of self-reliance and small government is treated as laughable. Ron Paul was treated with more derision than Democrats during the primary season. McCain has chosen to make his position as a budget-tightening fiscal “maverick” a minimal part of his story besides railing against earmarks. It’s clearly a non-seller. What’s a few hundred billion in extra debt if it means the federal government can keep the islamohomofascists off our back? Why let the free market solve a problem we can have a bunch of partisan government flacks fresh from Liberty University not solve instead?
The slogan of “Country First” is about as far from Reaganism as you can get — not because of the blatant jingoism, which I’m sure Ronnie would have approved of, but the unstated assumption behind it — that the federal government is the only cause worthy of supporting and that military service (*) is the only way of showing support. The only 1000 points of light in a McCain administration will be on John’s birthday cake.
The red state welfare queens are firmly in control; neoconservativism isn’t dead — it just smells like lime jello and cottage cheese. In this light, the Palin pick makes perfect sense; Alaska has been perfecting right-wing bread and circus socialism for decades.
(*) of course blogging is a type — perhaps even the most noble type — of military service.
I was going to say the same. The GOP has been bashing community service and bettering yourself throughout this campaign, which is a huge shift from their platform for at least the past decade and a half. Why? Because the Democrats have adopted it as part of their platform… simple as that.
Howard Dean’s netroots and big GOTV strategies for the past few years have done well for the Dems, and Obama has often thrown out the line “We can’t do everything for you, but you can help us make this country better.” These kinds of things made the GOP’s head explode and now they’re trying to do a 180 on their platform while shoring up their base.
No bootstraps for you!
Kind of like how Dems made clean air a part of their platform so we got commercials telling us CO was good for us. BaBi should make “Not sticking a fork into a dryer outlet” part of their platform. And they should vow to take away our right to hump the propellers on outboard motors.
And pledge to outlaw the taking of baths with a plugged-in toaster.
Lemme get this straight, the same Ace who said about 2 weeks ago:
“Corrections Galore! I’m told that Obama is 47, not 44, and Illinois State Senate districts are 200,000 or so strong.
So while my facts may be off, my conclusions still stand, obviously. If anything, my conclusions are stronger now.”
Is pissed because Sullivan didn’t retract this story enough?
What a dick and I mean that in a straight dick way, Ace. Calm down.
Yep. I dunno, maybe the Dems can rail against tobacco again, and hope they all smoke their lungs out. Unfortunately, that doesn’t kill them fast enough. Maybe enforcing gun owners to clean guns unloaded? Nah… too difficult to enforce. I got it! Force people who try to “pray away a disease” to go see a doctor.
I think a Rapture scenario would work best. We lure them all to Alaska, and we go back home.
That’s how Europe got rid of the Puritans.
If Ace got any shorter, he’d have an innie.
*drum fill*
if anything, his conclusions are stronger, and that is central to his point.
My latest theory about wingnuts is that they all suffer from micropenism™. That explains everything.
Kudos to Ace for coming up with such a refreshing and unique title for his post:
[Anatomy of a Smear (+conservative +blog) on Google]
I read this crap last might and wished I hadn’t. What is it with wingnuts when it comes to Sully, they always describe him as either emotional or excitable…….
nudge, nudge, wink, wink….
At least Ace hasn’t trawled the depths of speculation that some (mad Cathy, for example) has as suggest that Sull’y emotions are affected by an anti HIV drug he is taking, the evil pos.
“Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the porn & begin fapping.”
When in doubt, go with the obvious.
McCain has put Palin into quarantine, & Obama is wisely concurring with that regime. Her 22-minute-hate at the RNC was supposed to be a rope-a-dope to draw smears, but it seems to have backfired badly – replacing the family scandals with her big fat lies – so I presume now they’re trying to decide whether to stick with it or change course yet again.
I think pointing out idiocy like having her office remodelled TWICE at taxpayers’ expense or backing The Road To Nowhere is useful on the rare occaisions when she pops out of her Hockey Mom Bunker.
When Dems have to acknowledge Palin, they should use her sucking at the earmark teat to point out her real identity as a socialist. Not a personal attack, abundantly verifiable – & not apt to go over like gangbusters with the “big government is the problem” crowd.
She’s a reformer like Hannity is a journalist.
Her own record puts the lie to Wet-Start’s “MAVRICK” image.
WTF was Ace on about?? Does someone sneak into his room and change all of the keys around on his keyboard so that he thinks he’s typing English but it’s gibberish and he doesn’t check it.
It’s “a weasel” and “start thrashing about”
Anybody post this already? I think this could be big, if it gets enough exposure.: The head of the Alaska Independence Party (a) saying that Palin had been a member until after she was mayor of Wasilla, and (b) suggesting that she joined the GOP solely to get elected governor, and retains her AIP goals and motivations.
Very, very nice :O)
A blogger named Jim (nice name, that) has now asked Sarah Palin more questions than the entire pundit-parade combined.
Old media is old.
From jim’s Americablog link:
This reminds me of that scene in the original Stepford Wives, where one of the wives gets stuck on a loop while mingling with the guests.
I’ll just die if I don’t get this recipe
I’ll just die if I don’t get this recipe
I’ll just die if I don’t get this recipe
Gee, I hope the boss likes these – I worked my butt off for almost an HOUR to come up with them!
Good news: we may just have Guam in the bag!
Next objective – Puerto Rico.
McCain Campaign Advisor:
Those are awesome. Can I buy?
There was salsa and all kinds of salad, I mean, choices to make! and you how old folks get with so many choices to make.
Palin is The Stepford WIfe
So I’m assuming that, here in the Anonymous household, the cognomen “Closet Case of Spades” for the blog in question wasn’t a startling bit of insight by yours truly, but an observation of a pretty well-known trait, just flapping out there in the wind for all to see?
It is nice to know how people is interested in those issues. Glad you post them here. Thanks.
That certainly was a sad situation. Thank God is over.
Do you keep thinking the same way after Obama authorized the huge loan of money?