Left Behind

Everybody got raptured at about 5:00PM EST.*


* Actually, I just rescued a ton of comments from the mysteriously overactive spam filter — which needs to be fixed once and for all, and I’ll see to it.

 

Comments: 74

 
 
Doctor Missus Marita
 

Should I be rummaging through my neighbors houses looking for things they won’t need anymore?

Oh, who am I kidding? We live in Cambridge. No one is getting raptured from here.

 
 

Speaking of rapture, Fox News is in l-o-v-e with the Palin. I think they might need to install a jizz guard in front of their booth to protect the crowd.

 
 

Yeah, I hope you captured my dozen odd attempts at commenting (prefacing each attempt with FYWPx1…x12)

It’s cunty.

 
 

So the spam filter won’t be squeezing out litters of spamlet filters, will she!

HA HA!

P.S. Drink everytime McCain says “My Friends”…

 
 

ittdgy: Way ahead of you, my friend.

 
 

P.S. Drink everytime McCain says “My Friends”…

Oh my gawd, there ain’t enough uisge in all of Scotland to support that game.

But I’ll give it a go!

mikey

 
 

RB,

I see your SuperKnicksFan and raise you a Robin Ficker

 
Should Know Better
 

Speaking of getting high, apparently Wasilla was the meth capital of Alaska during Palin’s tenure.

And everyone keeps saying she has no accomplishments to tout, tsk.

 
 

Every time I call someone a “tiny turd,” the spam filter eats my comment.

 
 

The fact is, tiny turd.

 
 

The fact is, America is in love with Palin. They will vote for her and McCain, not for an uppity negro and a plagarizing fraud, who are the liberal poster boys. America does not like liberals. We want all of you terrorist lovers to shut up, and if you do not, we will put you in camps and take our country back.

 
 

Gavin is the anti-Alkon.

 
 

Let. My. Comments. GO!!

 
 

Is this rumor I’m seeing at Atrios true?

McSame will be giving his speech at 9:11??

???

 
 

I don’t know about McCain’s kickoff time, but they’re about to run a tribute to those fallen on 9/11. If you forget about 9/11 for a moment, say when bathing or dumping, you’re an Un-American fucktard islamofacist Democrat Party liebrul.

 
 

Sorry, when I said tribute to the fallen, I meant neoconservative porn.

This video “tribute” is disturbing.

 
 

Lo, there shall be no Rapture because the fReichtards* will just scream “OMG it’s the terrists!” I’m not wasting a good miracle just so some pasty faced bed wetters can torture some of My children. And what the hell do I need with giant iron grasshoppers anyway? Get real.

Peace!

Y

*Hells yeah they’d still be there. If you think I ever planned to have those bat shit crazy “Evangelists” up here with Me, you haven’t been using the brains I gave you.

 
 

Remember, 9/11 happened to Republicans only. We’ll never forget = Only the GOP cares.

I hate these people. Seriously.

 
 

Yeah, nice touch having the 9/11 porno vid start off with imagery of the Iranian hostage crisis. Let’s see if McCain follows up on that theme. More importantly, I wonder if he’ll wear an orange tie again as a shout out to Iris.

 
 

What’s the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?

A pit bull doesn’t cower and hide from reporters for two months at a time.

 
 

I don’t know about McCain’s kickoff time, but they’re about to run a tribute to those fallen on 9/11.

Only the fallen. Not the dirty filthy commies who volunteered to help deal with the aftermath. Maybe volunteer firefighters should be excluded as well.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I think the GOP needs to do something about its little necrophilia problem. Shit, if you must get off on thoughts of death and destruction, contribute to some organization that helps people who were injured every time you show the images.

 
 

And while the NY Giants are playing their first game of the season?

Don’t him McCain, call him McClassy.

 
 

I am still not clean after watching their 9/11 “tribute.” I’ve showered but I may need to grab the Clorox wipes and start scrubbing.

 
 

Did you sit at the resolute desk when you rescued comments from the spam filter?

 
 

The only way I’m getting through tonight is to take a drink now for every time I think McCain might say “my friend” or Wolf says something stupid. I’m +2 and counting!

 
Doctor Missus Marita
 

Oh dear Gawd, someone tell me they have a screencap of the sign they just showed on CNN’s RNC coverage:

“College Republican’s For McCain”

Grammar is such an elitist!

 
 

I made it about three minutes into that ridiculous piece of crap when I had to turn the channel.

Those nasty brown muslims, they just kill us ’cause they’re subhuman and they need something to do when there’s nothing good on TV.

The only hope for us is to have more wars, kill them, kill more of them, kill their wives and their children, because eternal war is so infinitely better than finding a way to live together in peace.

HATE these people? Ah man, that isn’t close to describing it. Murdering self-deluded thugs. The complete collapse of America will not provide me with enough Schadenfreude.

Fuck….

mikey

 
 

the GOP needs to do something about its little necrophilia problem

Between getting pumped by hearing verbal humiliation of their enemies, lovingly dwelling on torture details in front of the victim’s elderly mother, and sucking Reagan’s mummified teats, it’s not a little necrophilia problem, it’s a big one.

 
Tim (The Other One)
 

I caught a salmon with my bare hands and field filleted it with bobby pins !

 
 

Anyone watching MSNBC?

Seems it (I didn’t see it) shook up Olbermann so much he apologized for showing it!

 
 

Drink everytime McCain says “My Friends”…

Reformer with results = 3 drinks + bong water chug

 
 

Fuck you WordPress. FUCK. YOU.

 
pastoral ruminant
 

Who’s the guy with the tiny face?

 
 

My daughter asked my why John McCain wanted to be known as a lost cow. Look up “maverick.” Now that’s a definition I can believe in.

 
 

I wasn’t watching MSNBC, what was that about?

Bueller? Anyone?

 
 

Doctor Missus Marita, there was an actual official pen on the McCain site which read “Student’s For McCain.” The image was later scrubbed.

 
 

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

September 5, 2008 at 3:29

I wasn’t watching MSNBC, what was that about?

Bueller? Anyone?

Someone commented at Balloon Juice that they showed the 9/11 “tribute” video, which was more like a praise of McCain and an obviously oblique way of connecting 9/11 to Iran. The video really pissed off Olbermann.

 
 

So lefties, It looks like McCain just got a boost in the polls thanks to his very wise choice of running mate Sarah Palin.

McCain and Obama are now neck and neck according to most polls, which is good news! Especially considering that around this time in 2004 most (biased!) polls had John “frickin” Kerry winning by a wide margin. And we all know how that one turned out, don’t we?

John McCain will win most of the States Bush won in 2004 ( the possible exceptions being Iowa and New Mexico), in addition to New Hampshire, Wisconsin and Minnesota all of which show the two candidates about even, within the margin of error of course.

So, it looks like your little “Bush’s last day party,” is about to be cut short. Looks like your gonna have to throw away those little bumper stickers my leftie friends. But don’t worry, President McCain is only gonna outlaw abortion, not silly little slogans. So don’t throw those Free Tibet stickers away just yet.

 
 

ittdgya:

The Republicans showed a video featuring a lot of footage from terrorism incidents, such as the plane hitting the towers, and maybe even dead bodies.

Keith Olbermann had to excuse himself from his post, visibly shaken, and came back to apologize for airing it.

I didn’t see it, but I can imagine.

 
 

Shorter Saul:
Math is hard!

 
 

Excuse me.

I’m confused. Can you guys help me out here?

The repubs keep speaking at their convention about how america is this great ideal, with freedoms, a place where we all pull together as one, no differences, to help “lift each other up” in times of need.

Ok, great. That’s what I believe. But then, why are all their policy positions so divisive, so built on hate and fear and tribal nativism? Why are they always identifying some group as “the enemy”? Why do they seek to punish, imprison, even torture so many people? If they want to come together, why is forgiveness never in the playbook, a playbook that include capitol punishment, harsh prison sentences and no reproductive or gay rights? Why do they feel they can speak to inclusiveness and American Values and still support hatred, fear and laws that prevent so many Americans from having the most basic rights?

Ultimately, I guess, the question is “who are they fooling”?

mikey

 
 

At the risk of being a lookist, an ageist and possibly a heterosexist, did anyone at any point ever even consider sending McFang off to have that yellow gunge scraped off his choppers?

Christ. No wonder the fucking redneck flinched when McPOW shook his hand.

 
 

Saul, The McCain campaign pulled in $1 million in donations today due to Palin’s speech. The Obama campaign pulled in $10 million today, a new daily record.

http://www.jedreport.com/2008/09/sarah-palin-speech-inspires-10.html

Suck. On. This.

 
 

Start over from the top, Saul. You’re supposed to say “shalom.”

 
 

Here’s the video of Olbermann’s statement of disgust over the 9/11 video.

http://www.jedreport.com/2008/09/did-they-just-cross-the-line-o.html

 
 

Well, turns out the comments on the site are from deep-fried assholes.

Whose watch did it happen on?

 
 

Here’s my own special comment:

I’m not going to forget 9/11.

I’m not forgetting that on that date, seven of my former co-workers died.

I won’t forget that W was warned about it, nor will I forget that he told the people warning him “OK you’ve covered your ass”. I won’t forget that he ignored the warnings, and then lied to us all about being warned. And I won’t forget that he used his own miserable failure on 9/11 to lie us into Iraq.

No, I won’t forget it.

 
 

You’re supposed to say “shalom.”

Is this really our “Shabbat starts at midnight” rabbi back again? W00t!

 
 

Maverick:
An unbranded range animal (especially a stray calf); belongs to the first person who puts a brand on it.

Someone hand me that branding iron. Hold still now….

 
 

Not Saul. No way that’s Saul.

Not nearly grave enough. Far too glib.

 
James K Polk, Esq.
 

I have a coworker who was a big Hillary supporter. She worked for her, donated to her and generally poured her free time in for about 10 months.

After Hillary lost the primary, my coworker said that she was considering voting for McCain. She was pretty upset about the loss, much more than I expected. After last week’s convention, and she especially noted Hillary’s great speech, she was warming a bit to Barack, but was still ultimately undecided.

Then, she said, she heard last night’s speech by Sarah Palin. Now, she is definately voting for Barack. She told me this morning about her decision.

Shoring up the base, possibly. But losing sensible, disaffected people along the way too.

(true story)

 
 

Here’s a clip of Olbermann’s statement after that 9/11 video. He was pretty shook up.

http://www.jedreport.com/2008/09/did-they-just-cross-the-line-o.html

 
 

Shalom, gentlemen.

Sometimes, when The Truth and I are having kinky sex while screaming about how math is stupid and for liberals, his micropenis concaves back into his crotch. It’s kind of embarrassing, so I was wondering if anyone knows what I should do about it. I’ve talked to him about getting more Michelle Obama porn, but he says that he’s into fantasizing about Kaye Grogan these days. Any other ideas?

Heartland, sloppy buttfucking.

 
 

Someone hand me that branding iron.

Sorry, noen, looks like Daddy Dobson beat you to it.

 
 

Oops sorry for the double post of Olbermann. For a while some of the comments disappeared here. I thought it had gotten lost.

 
 

That’s right. My fat jiggly mantits are no match for Kaye Grogan’s hot rack.

 
 

Um, Sweetie! It’s AG. AG gets raptured before noon!

You wanna be frat boys need to catch up!!!!

 
 

Loyal Husband.

Cause goopturds will believe anything.

 
 

I Love it. Unlike 4 years ago, they’re not even making any pretense about showing black people at the republican convention. Mostly just old fat white guys in legion hats.

 
pastoral ruminant
 

Game On!

(narrated by F. Dalton Thompson)

 
 

Now liberals, I know its very hard for you to accept that Obama bin Biden is gonna lose, but denial isn’t very healthy. Didn’t even your leftwing psychologists teach you that?

Lets face it, you should be politcally saavy enough to know that a man who opposes saving the life of babies born alive after a failed abortion is unelectable. Even San Fran Nan denounced Obambi’s postion as extreme.

Couple that with his racist pastor and anti-American wife, then you got a guy whose about as electable as Louis Farakhan or David Duke. Look, I apologize if my common sense observations brought you liberals back to planet earth. But if you leave your head in clouds too long you’re gonna eventually get lost up there.

Just consider me a voice in the wilderness trying to instill some common sense into you. Thats all.

 
 

Criminy, we were just talking about the R’s death fetish, and then they go and do something like this.

No shark they won’t jump.

 
pastoral ruminant
 

The cornfield backdrop as he salutes Obama is a nice touch.

 
pastoral ruminant
 

She’s worked with her hands and nose??

 
 

I watched the PBS Frontline episode on the 1996 expeditions to Mt. Everest that I had on MythTV. Now those were some brave and unfortunate people.

I just had no interest in tonight’s hatefest climax, and after seeing that piece of war porn they all cheered for, I’m really glad I have MythTV.

Fucking despicable hacks.

 
Tim (The Other One)
 

“She’s worked with her hands and nose??”

Epic. Don’t underestimate her.

 
 

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I think the GOP needs to do something about its little necrophilia problem.

It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.
I wonder how many more votes they just lost – & for how many elections?
Stay classy, GOP!

 
 

Who you callin’ tiny?

 
 

Giant Turd said,

Grover Norquist, ladies and gentlemen.

 
 

#
Gary Ruppert said,
September 5, 2008 at 2:12

The fact is, tiny turd.

Favorite Gary comment ever.

 
 

I Love it. Unlike 4 years ago, they’re not even making any pretense about showing black people at the republican convention. Mostly just old fat white guys in legion hats.

The cameramen are having a hard time finding them: “One nonpartisan group, the Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies, counted 36 black delegates this year” cite

 
 

Ghouliani actually complained in his speech about how few times the Dems brought it up in their convention. Jeez, what a sick fuck that man is. Of course, as Jon Stewart noted, Ghouliani gets a royalty check every time someone says “9/11”.

As someone who has lived in Manhattan for the past 30 years, and in the metro area for all my years prior to that, I have had way too much exposure to that little turd. As a very wise man once opined, “He’s the kind of person people move to NYC to get away from.”

And this whole “no attacks since 9/11 proves we’re the best” crap: are you fucking serious? Who was in charge of the country ON 9/11? Who was in charge for the worst terrorist attack in our history? Who totally ignored a PDB entitled “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in US”? This is locking the barn door after the horse has been stolen, and asking us to forget about that damn stolen horse.

Are they really that stupid, or do they just think Americans are? I mean that as a serious question; for instance, I would go with the former for W, and the latter for the Dickster.

BTW, Saul (and anyone else spouting the “neck and neck” shit): Obama has been ahead in the polls for quite some time now. He has reached the 50% threshhold in the Gallup poll (meaning he would still win even if he gets 0% of the undecideds). And at InTrade, where people actually put their money where their mouth is, it is currently 56-44 Obama, the day after the big McCain moment. Earlier this month, trading was in the 60+/40- range.

Enjoy it while you can, Rethugs. The fat lady is already clearing her throat.

 
 

Saul, you shouldn’t criticize other people for hope when your entire rap is based on assuring us that you know exactly how the future is going to come out. I don’t think even the hateful, nasty, vindictive, gloatingly cruel spirit you worship as “God” has actually given you the gift of prophecy, or that you can read minds — so where do you get off lecturing anybody else on their “delusions”? STFU is much too mild a command for you — FOAD is more like it. Then you can hang around with your supernatural buddies in Hell.

 
 

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