The Palin Death List
Posted on September 2nd, 2008 by Gavin M.
…But are murders from plastic explosives deals gone bad the only suspicious deaths that have littered the career of Sarah Palin?
One would imagine that many freezings-to-death and small airplane mishaps are also suspect, as well as maulings by polar bear and skeletonizings by ravening salmon — and who knows what else?
Moose stomping. Don’t forget the moose stompings.
Is it irresponsible to speculate?
Grizzly Man: mauled to death in Alaskan national park, along with his girlfriend. It would be irresponsible not to speculate about Palin’s responsibility. Particularly as she has yet to advocate shooting grizzly bears instead of polar bears. What is she hiding?!
We know caribou have been killed:
(h/t to world-o-crap blogger scottc for the photoshop):
http://tinyurl.com/palincaribou
John McPOW’s brain. Burnt out by lustful dreams of long romps on polar bear skins while the aurora borealis played in the sky.
The fact is, liberal bloggers are just like Bush and Hitler for promoting these rumors. I’d never do anything like that. I mean, I look at Gavin, and keep thinking: Why’d he do something like this? Why’d he promote these rumors? Why’d he be so hate-filled?
After his death the foals were removed from the house.
What about that dude who went to Alaska and lived in that abandoned bus and then starved to death “allegedly”????
HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS
Is simply telling the truth too much to ask of Palin?
It has been five minutes and Palin has not responded to this thread.
CONSIDER IT CONFIRMED MY FRIENDS
I mean, I look at Gavin, and keep thinking: Why’d he do something like this? Why’d he promote these rumors? Why’d he be so hate-filled?
I look at Gavin and keep thinking: He’s dreamy!
What about that dude who went to Alaska and lived in that abandoned bus and then starved to death “allegedly”????
I say we add him to the list as BOTH Christopher McCandless, and Alexander Supertramp.
Do they have comptrollers in rural Alaska?
Is Sarah Palin the new Amy Alkon, or what?
Damn!
Back in January, Sarah Palin was parked outside my house in an old Dodge van with mudflaps and tinted windows. It was seriously creeping me out. I asked a friend of mine if I should go out and see what she wanted. He said “FER GAWDS SAKE NO! She’ll have you killed, field dressed and quartered in a minute and a half flat! That’s Sarah PALIN out there, you idiot. You know, the Commander in Chief of the Alaska National Guard and former “Trouble Shooter” for the AIP. You do NOT wanna fuck with her”.
Fortunately, I had enough food that I just barricaded the door and stayed in the house. Eventually, her water broke or something and she just left.
I’m just now realizing how closely run a thing that was…
mikey
I heard Sarah Palin shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
Eventually, her water broke or something and she just left.
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Chicago City Comptroller, on holiday in Alaska, “fel” out the window. Files msteriously vanished. ‘Nuff said.
You don’t hear much from her Kenyan half-brothers anymore, do ya?
Eventually, her water broke or something and she just left.
Win!
well, when a half-inuit chicago city comptroller with a history of “plastic explosives sales gone wrong” is found dead and buried beneath a 223 million dollar bridge to nowhere (called the “sarah palin memorial bridge” with the word “not” spray-painted in front of “sarah”) by sarah palin’s daughter, pregnant with sarah palin’s daughter’s daughter (is sarah palin the father? IMWTK and IWBINTS)…you have to ask youself–what would ted stevens’ 527 do?
Grizzly Man was eliminated by implant controlled bears on the orders of CODENAME:BARRACUDA.He had discovered the N American end of the nearly complete Bering tunnel and its ancillary robo-bear cavalry production line so he had to go.Werner Herzog (CODENAME:AGUIRRE) was dispatched so that his last tape would be destroyed and the truth hidden TILL NOW!!1!
ravening salmon — and who knows what else?
Salmoning ravens!
Word on the street is that Grizzley Man knew too much about a videotape of Todd Palin at the AIP convention with Rev. Wright and Louis Farrakhan where he went on this long tear about how “whitey” didn’t deserve the 1961 Cy Young Award.
Inuit legend has it that the sea monster Qalupalik will snatch children playing on the ice or near the edge of the water. Yet, no one has reported seeing Qalupalik and Sarah Palin at the same time. Coincidence? I think not!