Does someone need to start a Sarah Palin Death List?

You mean it hasn’t been started yet?

I wonder if any Wasilla comptrollers would be on such a list.

“The deceased had left a message on the BBS (bulletin board system) of an advice columnist…”

Chuck Norris jokes in 4…3…2…1…”

Stein says that as mayor, Palin continued to inject religious beliefs into her policy at times. “She asked the library how she could go about banning books,” he says, because some voters thought they had inappropriate language in them. “The librarian was aghast.” The librarian, Mary Ellen Baker, couldn’t be reached for comment, but news reports from the time show that Palin had threatened to fire her for not giving “full support” to the mayor.

but, but, but Ayers uh Rezco sppt smrfuppp rcsddt…

The librarian was a what?

I always knew step aerobics was something to avoid.

Librarians, however, are fine, upstanding people.

Especially hot, well-armed librarians who hate books. Yowza!

Randy said,

September 2, 2008 at 19:46

I wonder if any Wasilla comptrollers would be on such a list.

Two problems with that: I don’t think Wasilla is large enough to have a comptroller, and you can’t exactly kill someone by throwing them from the top of a three story “skyscraper”.

It’s an outrage that anyone would make such accusations against Sarah Palin, who was a POW, for such crude political purposes! An outrage!

Sounds like perfect candidates for Gitmo to me.

Also, I see that, once again, Sadly, No! is trying to censor the free speech of John Cole and Firedoglake. Speech restrictors!!

[…] Via […]

1993.

Vince Foster commits suicide. His body is dragged five miles from HRC’s bedside to a public park for discovery.

Or was it?

Vince. Vogler. Both begin with the letter V.

J’accuse Sarah Palin for Vince Foster’s murder!

But, but, but… wouldn’t it be irresponsible to speculate?

…in a plastic-explosives sale gone bad…

Who hasn’t had that happen to them?

Liberals! Why aren’t you talking about all the plastic-explosives sales which went well??? Why do you never report the good news???

don’t forget there was duct tape involved as well. Clearly Tom Ridge is also implicated. Perhaps this is why he was passed over for teh VP, in a clear Palin-for-duct-tape political swap?

LOL @ El Cid. Nice one.

Two problems with that: I don’t think Wasilla is large enough to have a comptroller, and you can’t exactly kill someone by throwing them from the top of a three story “skyscraper”.

What if there’s a polar bear waiting below?

How many times do I have to tell people? You’ve got to have a safe word.

How about . . . how about we just let them have Alaska? Let Alaska peacefully leave the union. Of course, this means all those earmarks they survive on will be gone, but maybe they can petition for some foreign aid. The military will disable all the missile silos. She can keep her Praetorian Guard. We’ll arrange for all the batshit crazies in the lower 48 and any who might reside in Obama’s home state and the territories to move there, free of charge. McCain and Palin can be supreme rulers of the Country of Alaska, at least until Palin has McCain fired and she becomes sole ruler.

Damned shame about the wildlife and the environment, though. However, about two thirds of the Southern wingnuts will freeze to death the first winter or be eaten by bears or die in weird grilling accidents – I’m looking at you TIDOSy – and that will ease the drain on food and heating oil and stuff, so maybe it will all even out. I really don’t want to share a country with them any more. I just want them to go away. They get what they want, and I get what I want. Yay.

Another day, another in a series of sharp kneeings to the groin to anyone holding out hope for any McCain convention bounce at all.

What if there’s a polar bear waiting below?

The polar bear would have broken the fall. However, this does open a whole line of questioning about mysterious polar bear deaths. How do we know they didn’t die from a falling comptroller?

Thank you baby Jebus for Sadly, No! and all the Sadly Naughts. This post is literally making me weep tears of joy.

She was a ghast, Cid. It’s like a ghoul, but with a higher Challenge Rating.

However, this does open a whole line of questioning about mysterious polar bear deaths. How do we know they didn’t die from a falling comptroller?

Murder by budget axe?

Stein says that as mayor, Palin continued to inject religious beliefs into her policy at times. “She asked the library how she could go about banning books,” he says, because some voters thought they had inappropriate language in them. “The librarian was aghast.” The librarian, Mary Ellen Baker, couldn’t be reached for comment, but news reports from the time show that Palin had threatened to fire her for not giving “full support” to the mayor.

Jesus Christ. Yeah, your job as a librarian is to support the Mayor unless under contravening orders from the Governor, the President, or Jesus.

I like that Palin evidently thinks she’s running for Master Sergeant of the United States Civilian Corps. I want to make a joke, but it’s become too difficult to lately, so I’m just gonna leave it at that. (By contrast, McCain has been running for First Sergeant since he left the missus.)

Lynette Clark, the AIP’s chair, brought up the Vogler murder in her 4/20/08 interview with pravda.ru. Note the way in which she contextualizes it.

As you have presented your case to the UN, have you had any response as of yet from them or the international community?

Just when Mr. Vogler had letter in hand confirming UN sponsor contact, he was kidnapped and murdered. We start again.

Lynette Clark, the AIP’s chair, brought up the Vogler murder in her 4/20/08 interview with pravda.ru. Note the way in which she contextualizes it.

This is entirely out of context, but does anyone kind of think that Pravda could probably be trusted more than most papers here?

You know, if you can tell the difference at all.

I think that liberals need to stop bringing up the fact that abstinence-only supporter Sarah Palin’s unmarried 17-year-old daughter is pregnant, again. I mean, for the first time. Ever.

14. What reaction if any have you had from the US government about secession plans?

None. Which leads one to believe either AIP is correct, or we’re all under surveillance!

Snort.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the next prime minister of Russia:

http://english.pravda.ru/photo/report/fedorova-3779

Candy-you’ll feel different about it when CODENAME:BARRACUDA unleashes Spetsnaz forces mounted on Polar Bears sweep down to the lower 48.
See, she shoots bears alright but with tranq darts so she can deliver them to the N American end of the Bering tunnel to be fitted with brain implants similar to the ones CODENAME:SONGBIRD’s noggin is full of.Do you want MAINSTREET USA to be overrun by sneering slavs and their 1200 lb carnivorous steeds,ready to give you a Polonium enema at the drop of a hat? hmm?

AIP interviewed by Pravda-why they’re not even trying to hide the plot anymore! Question and answers both courtesy of the KREMLIN!!1!

The blue tarp and duct tape in which the remains were wrapped

Hummm…

Wasilla, Alaska Named 2003 Honorary Duct Tape Capital of the World

Just when Mr. Vogler had letter in hand confirming UN sponsor contact, he was kidnapped and murdered. We start again.

Is it a thing that when you’re talking to someone from Pravda you drop articles and other words? Do you think he also adopted a stage Russian accent?

he was kidnapped and murdered by moose and squirrel.
Fixed.

Doctorb-they have a Russian accent because THEY ARE Russian or have spent so much time with them that they have adopted their speech patterns.Its AMERICAN that they mangle and give the game away with,isn’t that right COMRADE LYNETTE??!!

he was kidnapped and murdered by moose and squirrel.

And from that moment on, Sarah and Todd Palin swore undying revenge against mooses, er, moose, or, I dunno, meese.

Squirrel killer
Qu’est que c’est
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away

Kill moose and squirrel!

What was an 80-year-old separatist doing badly buying plastic explosives, anyway?

I’m sure this can all be spun as a simple misunderstanding, involving plastic explosives, a stubborn pinata, and dressing a moose as Che Guevara.

The squirrel, meanwhile, wore polyester pants and a zip up golf jacket and moved undetected through the convention hall.

[…] (h/t: Gavin M. at Sadly, No!) […]