These are* today’s good news

Australia’s Arthur Chrenkoff is back on his “good news from some place Bush bombed” beat, with predictable results. In Australia, a roundup of the “past month’s good news from Afghanistan” means “things that are going to happen:”

[Karzai] told ministers to avoid party politics and commit themselves to helping the war-torn country rebuild. … [Karzai] says he wants all his officials to disclose their financial holdings … Dr Zeenat Karzai, the wife of President Hamid Karzai . . . [said] that she plans to come more into society … Afghanistan’s Ministry of Women’s Affairs (MOWA) is seeking employment opportunities for tens of thousands of unqualified women in the country. … U.S. Ambassador Zalmay Khalilzad has announced that Congress is planning to provide $780 million in the next few months to assist Afghanistan in its fight against drugs, chiefly to provide alternative employment opportunities for some 125,000 people in three of the country’s provinces. … European Union foreign ministers, too, have made the fighting of cultivation, production and trafficking of drugs in Afghanistan the “central priority” of the EU aid effort. … And a wheat-seed distribution program for farmers in Nangarhar Province will commence shortly

Good news, you can get Nancy Reagan to help you department:

There is also talk of establishing a government ministry to deal specifically with antidrug policy.

Good news, bizarro-world style:

For the first time, patients are being asked to pay for treatment at public hospitals in Afghanistan. Although the constitution stipulates that all Afghans are entitled to free healthcare, a pilot programme being tested in the northern province of Balkh could change all that.

That is some wicked awesome pilot program! Come today, when your free health care is 50% off!

Good news, from the department of the mathematically-challenged:

Also, Afghans who were getting remittances from their families oversees used to spend money in exile but now they spend it in Afghanistan.

Are they still sending their remittances?

Good news from The Who department:

There are increasing signs that the Taliban are becoming less of a security problem [Emphasis added.]

Are becoming less? Did we just wake up in October 2001? WTF?

Maybe it’s time to attach a disclaimer to Chrenkoff’s work: Certain information discussed in this Web site may constitute forward-looking statements within the meaning of the Bush Administration Optimistic Bullshit Generator Law. Forward-looking statements are based on certain assumptions by management and are subject to risks and uncertainties that could cause actual results to differ materially from those in the forward-looking statements. These risks and uncertainties include, but are not limited to, the Taliban, the importance of the drug trade, warlords, the US deficit, Iran, Pakistan, North Korea, Pakistan, the PLO, internal strife.

* Dedicated to pinki.

Added: Related thoughts from James Wolcott.


Comments: 8


For the Futurama fans—

Cubert (as Farnsworth): Good news, everyone! I’m a horse’s butt!

Farnsworth: I am? That’s not very good news at all!


P.S. I think you used an overinclusive string in your blacklist, because it’s screening out any website name right now.


NB: Sorry about that, problem fixed. We had meant to block all sites ending with .biz, but you obviously ended up in the middle of that little spam fight.


The truth of the matter just might be that we will have to consider these potential key elements: what we thought happened, what we think is happening, what we think we hope will happen, what is good in a bad way, what is bad in a good way, what is real, what is false, what is really false, what is falsely real, what is sort-of-news-in-a-public-relations-kind-of-way, what is fit for public consumption, and, certainly, what must be classified for the next 50 years.

That’s what I think I will be considering, anyway.


Something may or may not happen. Maybe. Though possibly I could be wrong. Probably.


You guys seem to overlook the fact that the little Iraqi children still living now have PAINTED Schools to attend if they make it there alive.
Goddamn Liberals


Yeah, and there’s this new pilot program where the kids get on-the-job training by painting their own schools. They could make fortunes with all of the school-painting positions coming up for grabs as long as they can bribe the contract away from Halliburton.


The Beam in Hewitt’s Eye

The tiresome Hugh Hewitt got his wish to get “an experimental column in which the Los Angeles Times invites outside critics to slap around a Southern California newspaper that has a two-part (or bigger) Sunday Calendar section.”
His His


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