True Phail

Here’s Scott “Zeppo” Johnson of Powerline, Time Magazine’s once and forever 2004 Blog of the Year:

True Grit, I hope, part 2

Just for fun, I asked David Lunde of Lundesigns if he would photoshop an image to go with my conception of John McCain as Rooster Cogburn to Sarah Palin’s Mattie Ross. He has kindly responded with the image below.

Posted by Scott at 1:28 PM

Except the person on the right is German model Sabine Ehrenfeld.

…Also, we should like to introduce David Lunde of Lundesigns to the blur tool.

Also David, not sucking — ur doin it wrong.


Update: He changed the picture and, it seems, used the blur tool on the new one. Two out of three ain’t bad!

Update: Dear Scott of Powerline, here is your picture.

[Hanx! J—]

 

Comments: 84

 
 
 

Um, It’s been a real long time since I saw the film or read the book. But doesn’t Rooster die?

 
 

g,
Not in True Grit, no. I don’t think he dies in Rooster Cogburn, either. However, in both movies, John Wayne, as Rooster Cogburn, WORE A FUCKING EYEPATCH!

Jesus H. Tap-Dancing Christ. That’s an iconic image, the Duke looking like someone’s hard-drinkin’, coon-huntin’ uncle who put his eye out welding one day. Also, who’s the Glenn Campbell role filled by? Lieberman?

 
 

Oh, I guess I’m wrong. Glen Campbell dies.

 
 

I think this photo manip could still be saved if someone would put an eyepatch on Rooster McCain, preferably with POW written on it.

 
 

I cn hz “American Gothic” phop??

 
 

Speaking of not sucking, it’s “you’re”. Sorry, pet peave.

But don’t be too hard on Zeppo. I wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference between Palin and Ehrenfeld either, and I’ve probably known who Palin is longer than Zeppo has.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

ZOMG!!! Sarah Palin is HUCKASHE!!!

Loved Charles Portis’ “True Grit”. Just didn’t dig John Wayne’s “True Grit”.

The mountains of the Arkansas/Oklahoma border region are not typically snow-capped.

 
 

Speaking of not sucking, it’s “you’re”. Sorry, pet peave.

ITS UR

UR WELCOME

 
 

Yeah, so who is the Glen Campbell character?

 
 

Me said,

August 31, 2008 at 4:45

Speaking of not sucking, it’s “you’re”. Sorry, pet peave.

And it’s pet peeve.

Sorry, pet peeve. =P

 
 

Is there like some requirement that every right-wing attempt to use graphics must look like it was done by a high school freshman who just pirated his first copy of Photoshop CS3?

 
 

He’s the Texas Ranger after Lucky Ned Pepper (Robert Duvall). I think it’s pretty much Glen Campbell’s sole big-time role. There is a reason for this:

He’s a really, really bad actor. Great singer, monster guitar player, wrote some good tunes, can’t act worth a damn.

 
 

Yeah, so who is the Glen Campbell character?

Picky McGrinnington?

 
 

Jesus that fucker does look a lot like Bush (nice of them to brush out the goiter).

Sounds like him too.

No married couples jokes please.

Are you sure that’s McPOW?

 
 

The picture on the right is of German model Sabine Ehrenfeld.

If she’d been around 25 years ago, she’d be Sabine Ehrenfeld-McCain. I’m just sayin… – or –

Man, McCain goes through VP picks like I go through “3 for the price of 2!” promotional cigarette packs. What’s that you say? That’s not McCain’s running mate in that picture? The hell it isn’t! I saw it on Powerline, Time’s 2004 Blog of the Year!

 
 

Rooster died in the book.

 
 

He’s a really, really bad actor. Great singer, monster guitar player, wrote some good tunes, can’t act worth a damn.

But he takes a helluva mugshot.

 
 

Why are “trophy” ladies attracted to McCain? Even in the old days he wasn’t much of a looker or a charmer.

 
Concerned Liberal
 

There is a YA downside to Palins’ elevation to VPILF and wingnut love object.

Stores in Red States are reporting a big run on Kleenex by atypical buyers: single men. Back issues of Vogue and other magazines featuring Palin are selling briskly, to the very same atypical buyers.

republican operatives are puzzled by the sudden interest in these things by their core constituency, whose interest usually is 100% centered on tracts entitiled “How To Avoid Getting Drafted If McP.O.W Wins”

 
 

Rooster died in the book

The book is told in flashback form, with Mattie as the narrator. It’s 1928, and she is torn between her Democratic politics (she hated the Republicans since Reconstruction), and her distrust of the Catholic Al Smith (she ultimately decides to vote for the dirty Catholic because that nice Woodrow Wilson is the real leader of the party). She is a one-armed (she lost the arm due to the rattlesnake bite) old maid who retrieves Rooster’s body after his death for burial in her family plot. We see that Smith isn’t the first time that Mattie has used someone she had moral objections to in order to get something she wanted.

 
 

Update: Dear Scott of Powerline, here is your picture.

Maybe he prefers women with their necks broken.

 
 

And it’s pet peeve.

Oops, spelling flame gets flamed. The dangers of being didactic.

 
 

Bad as this poster is, it underscores the Republican’s complete and eventual capitulation to the inexorable forces of history:

Their candidate has a female running mate.

Yes, it’s a choice that patronizes women, reveals a pandering pragmatism for cold constituent appeal, and broadcasts contempt for the very concept of competence: these are Republicans, after all.

Yet there’s a woman on the ticket and they are carrying on about how good she is. Despite it all, I hope this is a mindworm that messes up their heads a little.

 
 

I’ll lay anyone even odds that John McCain is introduced at the RNC to Jimmy Buffett’s Get Drunk And Screw.

Fuck you Eddie! You had your chance and you blew it! You could have been famous and sold some music on the iTunes music gizmo. Sucker!

[preemptive FYWP for good measure]

 
 

Jimmy Buffett’s Get Drunk And Screw.

Was that as gay as The Village People or is this a brief moment of sobriety?

 
 

And just like in the Rooster Cognurn movies the characters will be wandering about in a sun blasted, desert landscape which bear no resemblance to the lush and vital place they are supposed to be.

For the unititiated, this is what the Ouachita Mountains and Potato Hills really look like:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/116/312638610_05fdcdb5ff_b.jpg
http://www.friendsot.org/images/NorthForkOuachita_sm.jpg

 
 

I guess his handlers took the night off, RB.

“I found my short, sexy, short shorts but where the hell are my socks? Fuck it, I’ll do it live!”

 
 

When Analogies Attack!

Oh yeah, that’s one hell of a parallel right there – the Duke at his absolute ugliest, permanently shitfaced & obviously brain-damaged, getting one last kick at the cinematic can … didn’t have to do much reaching to play a pathetic old drunkard at that point: he’d been doing “research” for years already.

Someone’s been double-dosing on the Ambien, & it shows.

 
 

[PS: The woman in the second picture is Tina Fey.]

 
 

I assumed that this was your joke, but the powerline url seems authentic.

I don’t see how you can parody these people day in and day out. You might be better at photoshopping but no one can beat them at making them look silly.

Now I do wonder if the Sabine Ehrenfeld photo was a joke of yours. Do you have a screen capture of the post with that photo ? As far as I can tell it isn’t in the google cache (which seems oddly empty but what do I know).

 
 

[PS: The woman in the second picture is Tina Fey.]

Git offa my lawn!

 
 

Does Tina Fey hunt caribouses? Does she eat moose lips?

John McCain wouldn’t check out Tina Fey’s ass if she were giving an introductory speech to a crowd of ~15,000 Republican campaign supporters and he was standing behind her and didn’t realize the camera was on!

How dare you, sir? How dare you!

 
 

Now I do wonder if the Sabine Ehrenfeld photo was a joke of yours. Do you have a screen capture of the post with that photo ? As far as I can tell it isn’t in the google cache (which seems oddly empty but what do I know).

No, it’s 100% real. It isn’t in the Google cache?

 
 

“They could make a good team.”

I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man.

Boy, they sure do miss the Reagan fantasy, don’t they?

 
 

Mmmmm…. Tina Fey….

Wow, I figured he had airbrushed McCain to make him look more manly and sexy and manly and well hung and manly and young, but I had no idea to the extent of which his brushes were furiously airing that pic.

Living in the land of delusions much, Lunde?

 
 

This “designer” is a serious lame ass.

I even had to correct his most recent Obama “satire,” which can now be viewed here.

And he calls himself a wingnut (with a face only his mother could love – maybe).

 
 

Does Tina Fey hunt caribouses?
Does she eat moose lips?
Does she wear bear-leather shoeses,
Dead rabbits ’round her hips?

 
 

Oops, spelling flame gets flamed. The dangers of being didactic pedantic.

Sorry. My pet peed.

 
 

I do wonder if the Sabine Ehrenfeld photo was a joke of yours. Do you have a screen capture of the post with that photo ?

Google images of Sabine Ehrenfeld

How hard can it be?

 
 

My pet peed.

Yesterday my wolverine Ninja died daringly. She took a guitar amp to the tail and died some minutes thereafter. Just this side of Washington is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When a wolverine dies that has been ostensibly close to someone here, that wolverine goes to Rainbow Bridge.

 
Tim (The Other One)
 

“coon-huntin’”

hey, Hey, HEY !!!!!

Jesus….

 
 

Again courtesy J—, here’s a screen capture of the original Powerline post:
http://www.sadlyno.com/powerline-screen-cap

 
 

Sorry. My pet peed.

Okay. Going to bed now. Getting sloppy.

 
 

Sabine Ehrenfeld – she’s the overstock.com lady. I like her brainy, hottie look, but my wife does it even better.

 
 

PS: The woman in the second picture is Tina Fey.

Dude, that chick in the hat is nowhere near as hot as Tina Fey. Duh.

 
 

hey, Hey, HEY !!!!!

Jesus….

What? My uncle went raccoon hunting every night of his life from the time he was 13 until he was laid up with cancer at 64. However, he did have two fully functioning eyes. Otherwise, big loud fat drunken guy who might shoot you if you didn’t watch your ass.

 
 

Hey, did anyone besides me notice that Lundesigns has domain names for sale?

ACORNWATCH.COM IS FOR SALE.

SUBMIT OFFER AT LUNDESIGNS@AOL.COM

OTHER DOMAIN NAMES FOR SALE:

FRANKENWATCH.COM

ALFRANKENWATCH.COM

PANTSUITONFIRE.COM

Gotta love that mercenary spirit!

 
 

Does Tina Fey hunt caribouses?

Moose slips, goose tips, caribou surprise.
Pert nips, wide hips, Who ate all the pies?

 
A Different Jake H.
 

Ok, first off, Gavin, you completely fooled me with the Tina Fey one: I really and truly thought that was Sarah Palin. After visiting PowerLine to see the current version, several thoughts came to mind at once.

1) That’s some seriously bad photoshopping, what with the back of her ponytail waving in front of McCain’s face and Palin’s head sticking out of the original body at an angle that strongly suggests the creator has confused Day by Day cartoons with what real people actually look like. True Grit, fap, fap, fap… Got yer Rooster Cogburn right here, suckas.

2) Tina Fey looks an awful lot like Sarah Palin. However, I discovered a sure-fire way to tell the difference. Tina Fey looks intelligent, Palin looks ditzy, even with the glasses. The difference is that when Tina Fey talks, she can play ditzy, but Palin is the genuine article 24/7, from what we’ve seen so far.

 
Tim (The Other One)
 

yeah but that’s “slammin’ hot” ditzy which I guess is cheetolicious.

 
A Different Jake H.
 

In retrospect, I guess that makes two differences between Tina Fey and Sarah Palin. Three, if you count that they hold completely opposite political views. The three differences are that Palin looks ditzy, sounds ditzy, holds completely wacko political views, and is enmeshed in an abuse-of-power scandal after < 2 years of governing a state with a population smaller than San Francisco or Austin, but slightly bigger than Boston or Long Beach. *Among* the differences between Tina Fey and Governor Palin are… I’ll come in again.

 
 

Hey, did anyone besides me notice that Lundesigns has domain names for sale?

Yeah, I caught that. Domain name squatting is one hot business.

And the dude’s got an AOL email address, too.

Man, that’s one serious entrepreneurial spare-bedroom-based motherfucker.

 
 

Also, Gov. Palin looks like Harriet Johnson in the first picture. Maybe she’ll start her nomination speech thusly:

“WE THE WHITE, GODFEARING CITIZENS OF ROCK RIDGE ALASKA wish to express our extreme displeasure with your choice of sheriff Democratic nominee. Please remove him immediately. The fact that you have sent him here just goes to prove that you are the leading asshole in the state!”

 
 

Dammit, it worked in preview. Oh, well. It wasn’t that clever anyway.

 
A Different Jake H.
 

yeah but that’s “slammin’ hot” ditzy which I guess is cheetolicious.

That entire sentence is full of LOL.

Man, that’s one serious entrepreneurial spare-bedroom-based motherfucker.

Aren’t they all, though? Aren’t they all just so precious with their copies of Atlas Shrugged and their Big Chief tablets and their complete lack of usefulness to others?

 
 

Except the picture on the right is of German model Sabine Ehrenfeld.

Well, in fairness, this election is all about the O.

 
A Different Jake H.
 

After reading the review of Confederacy of Dunces that I just linked to, I realized that these wingers we make fun of at S,N! are all clones of Ignatius J. Reilly, only with broadband and Cheetos instead of Big Chief writing tablets and Dr. Nut cola.

 
 

I don’t think anyone on the McCain ticket resembles anyone in True Grit.

That being said, I think Scott C on World O’ Crap is onto something here:

Sarah Palin is…That Gov!

 
 

Lorne Michaels donated the maximum $2300 to McCain. Only now, I think we know why.

 
 

when I saw Sarah Palin I immediately thought of Joanne Worley from Laugh In:

http://dannymiller.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341cca7b53ef00e5527eca918833-350wi

 
 

Updated the pic re: opacity of Tina Fey reference…

 
 

Hurricane Gustav puts Republican convention in jeopardy.

Karmic payback for the xtians who prayed it would rain on Obama’s parade?

 
 

Opacity it is.

Meanwhile, over at Talking Pants Memo, Josh says Eagleton?

 
 

I still think Palin looks like Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island.

 
 

Gavin: Also David, not sucking — your doin it wrong.

Me: Speaking of not sucking, it’s “you’re”. Sorry, pet peave.

Buddah: it’s pet peeve.

Me: Oops, spelling flame gets flamed. The dangers of being didactic.

Only when you’re flaming someone for a spelling mistake.

(Or is it “only when your flaming…”?)

PS: Gavin, at the risk of being a “hippocrit,” I must ask why you haven’t corrected that “your” yet? Trying to bait didactic pedantic right-wingers?

 
 

I’ve been wanting to correct it, but haven’t wanted to indulge my bad habit of changing stuff out from under people…

It should be ‘ur,’ as in ‘ur doin it wrong.’

Come to think of it, I’ll change it right now.

 
 

Buddah: it’s pet peeve.

Er, um, that sould be “Buddha.” Whoopsie!

 
 

Okay, now wait.

Over on the Gay Patriot thread, Palin is being linked to Audrey Hepburn’s hairdo.

On this thread, she’s linked to Rooster Cogburn, which leads to thoughts of Katherine Hepburn.

It’s clear the wingnuts have suddenly contracted Hepburn-mania for some reason. But if you ask me, I think they need to pick a Hepburn. Perhaps they can vote on this at the convention.

 
 

If I may speak for liberal feminists everywhere: we invented the brainy, hottie look.

To quote my mother, who would never vote for John McCain:

Does he think he’ll get women this way? I’m insulted. Does he think women are idiots?

Sadly, Yes!

 
 

It’s clear the wingnuts have suddenly contracted Hepburn-mania for some reason.

Audrey is easy enough to understand: Audrey Hepburn (another woman who was far more beautiful than Palin btw) was in My Fair Lady. In MFL, a much older, smarter, richer man takes a poor cockney maid, transforms her into a beautiful society belle…

And treats her like shit.

 
 

the collar hides mccain’s goiter quite well

 
 

A Different Jake H. said,

August 31, 2008 at 7:07

After reading the review of Confederacy of Dunces that I just linked to, I realized that these wingers we make fun of at S,N! are all clones of Ignatius J. Reilly, only with broadband and Cheetos instead of Big Chief writing tablets and Dr. Nut cola.

Definitely. BTW, I stopped reading that book a little after 100 pages because I got so sick of Ignatius’s narcissistic whinings that I felt like the rest of it was not worth reading.

 
 

(inside Maverick HQ)

Head Maverick Wrangler: We need to flip narrative on the Maverick/Maverique selection process now! This is getting out of hand. Get on the horn with the Post right this minute!

[The article is totally fucking awesome for all the wrong reasons. My favorite part is the scene at McCain’s “ranch” in Sedona, AZ, which is now a “retreat.”]

 
 

Ripley said,

Does Tina Fey hunt caribouses? Does she eat moose lips?

On the didactic pedantic pet peave front your mispelling the plural of caribou there Ripley. One caribou two caribim.

Dear Lesley

I clicked the link in the original post to images of Sabine Ehrenfeld (warning Gavin’s link was generated with safe search off and it might not be work safe if your boss would be seriously irritated to find you uhm exited at work) so I knew that the woman in the first pick is Sabine Ehrenfeld. However, I didn’t know for sure that she had ever had the misfortune to appear on powerline until I saw the screen capture.

Oh man this David Lunde dude looks like some fun. If I were Amy Alkon I’d be seriously relieved (and not at all transsexual, not one little bit. I mean if I were born Amy Alkon)

 
 

Another post worth reading at Mudflats, this one on the infamous Bridge to Nowhere. I don’t think the McCain campaign understands how information travels in the current age of online communication. See also Frank Rich’s column in today’s Times.

 
 

J— said,

August 31, 2008 at 14:50

Another post worth reading at Mudflats, this one on the infamous Bridge to Nowhere. I don’t think the McCain campaign understands how information travels in the current age of online communication. See also Frank Rich’s column in today’s Times.

Wow. That Mudflats article reads like a cross between Northern Exposure and The Sopranos.

 
 

Peggy Hill look-alike Sarah Palin

http://i35.tinypic.com/2vx0hf8.jpg

 
 

Why do you guys send traffic to loser sites like that? Seriously, the suckage is total.

 
Cletus von Clausewitz
 

Seitz said, August 31, 2008 at 6:59

Except the picture on the right is of German model Sabine Ehrenfeld.

Well, in fairness, this election is all about the O.

funny funnie.

 
 

I recommend Lundesigns spend some time viewing this.

 
 

Simply put, earning money in WoW can be as difficult as earning

money In Everquest, the highest currency value is difficult to

come by. Scraping together the first few silvers to buy a ratty

piece of armor, or a bent sword was a … Fast wow power

leveling, http://www.wowlevelingus.com

 
 

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