With Madness, Blindness, And Confusion of Mind; You Shall Grope About At Noonan*

Ah, Palin. Let the last word be from the folks who are still in our hearts called Blogs For Bush.

ABOVE: Trendspotter Mark Noonan


The Palin Effect?

Been seeing a lot of things like this over at NRO’s The Corner – we won’t know if its a general trend for a month or so, but its exactly what I expect from the Palin selection:

To: Kathryn Lopez
Subject: So Excited!

Indeed, we won’t know for a month or so whether this particular set of overwrought emails published on the National Review’s website truly reflects the real-world popularity of a position promoted by the editors of the website of the National Review.

Our own emails to K-Lo somehow never turn up there, leading us to doubt her neutrality.Viz.:


    To: Kathryn Lopez
    Subject: I Got Clong-Clong Fsss! Steam Heat!

    …And I need your love to keep away the cold.

    Signed, “Hanoj Grebdlog”


    To: Kathryn Lopez
    Subject: I Am Very Angry At You

    If you have to ask why, then I am not going to tell you.

    Signed, The Pope


    To: Schmathryn Schmopez
    Subject: Schmendricks!

    Would it kill you schmucks to stop schmoozing all the schvartzers like a
    bunch of schlemazels with schmutz-covered schmeckels already?

    Signed, Seymour Martin Lipset


    To: Kathryn Jean Lopez
    Subject: This Is Just To Say

    I have eaten the Snickers ice cream bars that were in the icebox and which
    you were probably saving for breakfast. Forgive me they were delicious
    so sweet and so cold.

    Signed, Mark Hemingway


But as Noonan has seen and we are about to, this is the one that she chose — or that she sneakily concocted while unable to escape her own straitened, 8th-Grade-appropriate writing style, whichever the case may be. For the email comes as though in a telltale purple Trapper Keeper pasted with heart stickers and titled in bold cursive with a glitter pen:

To: Kathryn Lopez
Subject: So Excited!

K-Lo –

I am absolutely thrilled with McCain’s choice in Palin. Her conservative values, her reform efforts, the way she worked up from being in the PTA to a governor all show that she has what it takes. She is the commander of the Alaska National Guard. She is a mom, a member of the PTA, an athlete, has worked for a living in non-political jobs. She seems like one of us. She seems like one tough cookie, yet is still incredibly likable. That is something that Hillary could never pull off. I am so excited that I sent $500 to the McCain campaign today. I would send more, but I think that is all my budget can handle right now. I am happy he picked a woman. But, I am thrilled it is this woman!

GO McCAIN PALIN 2008!!!

What fool would be fooled by this? Here’s exactly such a one:

I was visiting the Mother-in-Law on Saturday and while outside for a while another person just wandered up and offered a pro-McCain opinion…an elderly woman, delighted with McCain, delighted with Palin. Outside of Leftwing Kookdom, the selection of Palin is being greeted with enthusiasm…and all the leftwing slanders and smears being directed her way shows the fear she strikes in the hearts of Obamaniacs who see it all slipping away…the Obamessiah washed away by a flood of competance.

We don’t want to ruin Noonan’s last word on Palin by mentioning the spelling.


* Deut. 28:28-29

 

Comments: 82

 
 
 

The fact is, real America will win this. YOu will loose.

 
 

We don’t want to ruin Noonan’s last word on Palin by mentioning the spelling.

I think he meant incontinence.

 
 

Palin Comparison.

-GSD

 
 

There’s something so very special about claims of “competance,” like a big ol’ box of chocolate-covered orgasms.

 
 

I guess it’s safe to say that “commander in chief of the Alaskan Nat’l Guard” is the VP edition of “POW”. They sure got that talking point out quickly, didn’t they?

 
 

The Republican no-shame machine reaches a new high as it tries to make a governor’s command of the state’s national guard the new “Commander In Chief,” like saying “Commander of the Alaskan National Guard” is some sort of military position.

They want people to imagine that Palin was in the Alaska National Guard, and went up the chain of command to become the Commander.

When did they refer to Bill Richardson as Commander of the New Mexico National Guard, or Kathleen Sebelius as Commander of the Kansas National Guard, or Jennifer Granholm as Commander of the Michigan National Guard?

We need to find all sorts of ritualistic offices held by various Democratic politicians and announce them as that thing — I dunno, Joe Biden has to be like the de facto Electoral College Vice Committee Chair or something, so he should be the Commander of the 14th Delaware Brigade of the Electoral College Vice Elector blah blah blah.

In fact, every Democrat needs to be introduced as the “Commander” of something or other.

 
 

She is the commander of the Alaska National Guard.

Do you think this will make it to Sunday talk shows?

I hope so.

I guess the next logical question, in the light of her overwhelming experience as a “Commander in Chief”, why hasn’t McCain stepped aside in favor of Governor Palin?

Why isn’t she the Republicans’ FIRST choice?

 
 

Elliott Spitzer is the former Commander of __________________!!

 
 

Ripley said,

August 30, 2008 at 21:01

I guess it’s safe to say that “commander in chief of the Alaskan Nat’l Guard” is the VP edition of “POW”. They sure got that talking point out quickly, didn’t they?

Yes, and there are 53 more just like her (territories have their own NG)… and she’s only been at it for 20 months.

As for foreign policy experience, has she even set foot in say, Canada or the Kamchatka region since being Gov.?

 
 

Why isn’t she the Republicans’ FIRST choice?

She has far more executive experience than Sen. McCain.

 
 

Oh look, she has been to Kamchatka!!

Michael Palin, of Monty Python fame, filmed a visit to Kamchatka in 1995 as part of his “Full Circle” travel program.

Oh wait, wrong Palin.

 
 

Like I said in the other thread – Commander, Shermander, this dudes a fricking Colonel.

And he looks great in a tux.

 
 

Legalize: Order of the Garter?

 
 

I don’t like to make Kamchatka in the summer.

Too heavy and rich.

What?

Oh….

mikey

 
 

Let’s see: Palin was a mayor from 1996 to 2002. Why that’s less mayoral experience than the mayor of Rabbit Hash, KY, who died recently.

BTW, he was a dog named Junior.

 
 

Fact is, Jimmy Carter is and was the worst President ever and his arrogance combined with nuanced stupidity is continuing to show. He has no right to criticise McCain, who was a POW and has far more experience in fpreign policy as a result and leadership and inspiring and deiciding, the only thing worse than Mr. Carter is the liberal news media (MSM) that keeps reporting Carter’s blurbs and burps as if they were worthy of coverage. Carter was no war hero – he was a failure and he has milked his failed economic policies and failed foreign policies and failed domestic policies until the cow died. However, the liberal culture thought they ought to award Mr. Carter for trying so they gave him a Nobel Peace Prize (I would venture to say that most people can’t remember why he was given this award). His words and actions do not point toward peace unless you are a lock-stepped Demo”rat” who kisses the shrine of Obama and honor Carter and Clinton. Plus this peanut farmer with a grin from Georgia is still riding his cow thinking it is a wild stallion. Mr. Carter is just a weak brained Demo”rat” who likes to verbally abuse others while thinking he and his cronies are great. NOT! The MSM is co-dependent with a dysfunctional former President and these MSM propaganda pushers for the liberal Demo”rats” need to keep losing viewers and readers until they are out of business. Carter and the MSM should crawl to retirement headquarters for losers. Good riddance. One last thought – how is what Jimmy Carter says today being equated to his deep Chrisitian faith? He seems to be ignoring the Bible and God by choosing to be the judge of others.

 
 

At least he didn’t make a deal to sell weapons to Iran in exchange for them holding the hostages until he took office.

 
 

The fact is, God will have a hand in this election as He did in 04. I think I am on the right side, so you wil loose. You should have had your moral values in order, and backed off you eleitism and contempt for the heartland.

 
 

Not even God can save you now, Gary.

 
 

Jimmy Carter: history’s worst monster.

 
 

His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, CBE, Commander of the Ugandan National Guard

 
 

He seems to be ignoring the Bible and God by choosing to be the judge of others.

Gary, of course, choosing to be the judge of no one.

 
 

The fact is the choice of Sarah Palin resonates here in the heartland. We will support those for God and Country and Strong National Defense and Free Markets and Moral Values, and Obama is against every one of those.

 
 

Actually, Gar’, I’m REAL fond of “the heartland”. At least to the extent that I can figure out what you wackjobs are talking about when you use that descriptor.

It’s your whole “God” line of nonsense that I have contempt for. Imaginary superheroes who live in outer space do not influence my day to day decision making, nor, of course, should they influence those of any post-adolescent.

And amazingly, I have a pretty solid set of moral values. They do, however, include considering it a value not to impose a set of arbitrary rules on people who do not share that belief structure.

That would seem to not be a particularly valuable value to y’all…

mikey

 
 

Jimmy Carter: history’s worst monster.

Hey, waitaminute here. I thought that was Bill Ayers!

Now which is it?

mikey

 
Governator Palin
 

Dude. No way K-Load wrote that. You know she’s still weeping hot tears because Mittens didn’t get the nod.

I was visiting the Mother-in-Law on Saturday

Um. Why not just say “today”? Otherwise it gives the impression the elderly lady was a psychic.

 
 

I am impressed with the “Commander of Alaska National Guard = like 5 Xena’s and a Sarah Conner” talking point, too. Wingnuts move fast and absorb their talking points faster than you’re average sponge.

 
 

God = Kitty “Tits” Harris?

The things you learn at Sadly, No!

 
 

btw-

With Madness, Blindness, And Confusion of Mind; You Shall Grope About At Noonan*

HAHA

 
 

Thank you.
– El Cid
– Sub-Commander of the Outer Atlanta National Regional Arugula Watch

 
Principal Blackman
 

Oh, and did you notice that The trooper story has been “put to rest”?

Flopping Aces says–and Mark Noonan agrees–that it’s a non-story. Except for how it’s, you know, a story.

Mark Noonan, by the way, wrote a book on political corruption (according to his publisher, there are plenty of copies still available). He cares very deeply about political corruption, except for when he doesn’t.

Also: Great post title.

 
 

I am so excited that I sent $500 to the McCain campaign today.

Excuse me whilst I put a PayPal button on my shitty little blog. I smell rubes.

 
 

omg, riverdaughter is on fire!

All of her refutations of Obamabot talking ponts were good ones, but this one is especially timely:

McCain has skin cancer. He could *die* in office. DIE, I say! Then, Sarah Palin would be President. OMG! She’s only been a governor for 2 years! Woe is me! What shall become of us?? Truth: Tim Kaine has been governor of VA for exactly as long as Palin. He was on Obama’s short list for VP. So, if Kaine was experienced for Obama, Palin is experienced enough for McCain.
Zee | 08.30.08 – 1:41 pm | #

.

Logic, having been beaten to a bloody pulp. throws in the towel, retires from boxing, and begins its new career in TV infomercials.
~
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© | Homepage | 08.30.08 – 2:59 pm | #

——————————————————————————–

TGW. It’s not just for dinner.

 
 

Okay, so I browsed Deut. ch. 28 for context of the quote, and there’s 14 verses on how God will bless you if you obey him, and 54 verses on how God will punish you if you disobey him.

God one big dick, isn’t he.

 
 

“Commander of the Alaska National Guard” is really being used for real, or we’re seeing commitment to a bit. That’s just … so awesome, either way.

 
 

K-Lo displays her awesome skillz at sentence construction:

It’s a fascinating contradiction that liberal feminists live.

Is she suggesting genocide?

 
 

I absolutely love the “Why, after all, she is the Commander-in-Chief of the Alaska National Guard!” thing.

Which, put into perspective, means that she theoretically commands slightly less troops than the entire active forces of Trinidad and Tobago, but slightly more than those of Luxembourg.

 
 

The fact is, your fictitious email from one “Mark Hemingway” caused me severe injury, viz. causing me to laugh until I pulled a chest muscle. The fact is, as much as I was enjoying Alkonapalooza, this is great stuff.

 
 

My favorite right-wing feminist and ultrastud Mark Steyn had this to say.

What other country in the developed world produces beauty queens who hunt caribou and serve up a terrific moose stew? As an immigrant, I’m not saying I came to the United States purely to meet chicks like that, but it was certainly high on my list of priorities.

 
 

The fact is, your messiah Obama will raise your taxes. You are stupid to vote for him. He will also make whites, straights and us God-fearing Heartlanders into second class citizens. Can’t some of you muster some love for your country, some pride for your race? It’s only racialist if your white, but black power is OK. Hippocrits.

 
 

The fact is, any criticism of McCain is treason, he served our country as a POW. The fact is, any criticism of Sarah Palin means you want to kill retarded babies. Liberals should shut up.

 
 

and Palin has a stuffed Hippocrit head on her wall, so watch it America haters!

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Funny how he didn’t mention the other types of e-mails she was getting:
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=M2IxNjhiMmI5NjQwOGNkNWM2ODlmMWI1Zjk1OTdmOTU=

I certainly will not cast a vote for Obama-Biden, but nor will I vote for McCain-Palin. Looks like I’ll either sit this one out or vote for Bob Barr. Why, o, why, didn’t McCain listen to Rove and just pick Romney?

or how about:
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=MjY1MjBkZDVjZWZmNDkzMDYzZTY2ZWEzZWQ5NDUyYzQ=

Of course, you are correct that women will not reflexively vote for Governor Palin because of her gender. This pick helps more with *men*. Think we’d much rather watch Governor Palin than Sen. Biden for the next four years?

or e-mail that Pantload was receiving:
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=MzMzZDljOTFkMDY0YzJkNTY0OWEwZGM4NWJiYTJlZWM=

Forgive the dissent from all the euphoria, but don’t you think the MSM will go into overdrive to turn Palin into the 2008 version of Katherine Harris? One misstep by Palin at the outset and McCain could be cooked.

 
 

#

Leonard Pierce said,

August 30, 2008 at 22:12

I absolutely love the “Why, after all, she is the Commander-in-Chief of the Alaska National Guard!” thing.

Which, put into perspective, means that she theoretically commands slightly less troops than the entire active forces of Trinidad and Tobago, but slightly more than those of Luxembourg.

Yeah, well, HER troops train one weekend a month and two weeks a year.

What does LUXEMBOURG do?

mikey

 
 

and the saddest Corner post of all…

No More Blogging [Ramesh Ponnuru]

For me today!

 
 

What bilingual country in the zingy world produces lecturers who hunt cow or serve up your dugong noodle?

What country in the world produces diplomats who hunt lamb and serve up your own dormouse pizza?

What country in the carnal world produces handymans who hunt armadillo and serve up one less wet puma vinaigrette?

What country in the crispy world produces ordinary seamans who hunt porpoise or serve up a muskrat biscuit?

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Noonan:

…and all the leftwing slanders and smears being directed her way shows the fear she strikes in the hearts of Obamaniacs who see it all slipping away…

note: had to stop there, the last line of the piece will bust your guts and you won’t get to my witty response.

leftwing slander and smears eh? Well I guess I’m a little late on this, but here goes:

Sarah Palin is a Muslim! Let’s see her birth certificate – I’ll bet she wasn’t even born in Alaska. Pfft – Idaho you say, well my kerning experts will be the judge of that. I bet her real first name is Barry and she’s White.

Also, the scuzbag cop she was pressuring to get fired? He tasered his 11 year-old stepson and threatened to kill his father-in-law. BUT here’s the important part – this guy was married to Sarah Palin’s sister!!! Sure, the guy he was threatening to kill was Palin’s own dad, that’s irrelevant to the point – which is that Sarah Palin obviously has close ties to deranged psychopaths!!!

And all this talk about how close Russia and Alaska are? Obviously Sarah Palin is just a Putin’s secret Manchurian muscovite candidate. If Palin gets into the VP’s office, we’d better all start learning how to speak Russian.

 
 

I’ve always liked quoting Numbers 25 when debating god-botherers, myself.

 
 

You got a point, Mikey. I’ll be talking out the other side of my mouth when Palin’s crack troops defend us from the big invasion by Tobago.

 
 

What does LUXEMBOURG do?

They stand around looking FABULOUS in those blue and gold uniforms!

 
 

I’ve always liked quoting Numbers 25 when debating god-botherers, myself.

What, not Matthew 7:21-23? Or Matthew 6:1-5?

 
 

[Man, fuck a WordPress.]

I’ve always liked quoting Numbers 25 when debating god-botherers, myself.

What, not Matthew 7:21-23, or Matthew 6:1-5?

 
 

[Wordpress sucks like a malfunctioning Electrolux.]

I’ve always liked quoting Numbers 25 when debating god-botherers, myself.

What, not Matthew 7:21-23, or Matthew 6:1-5?

 
 

[Wordpress: more likely to suppress posts than Amy Alkon.]

I’ve always liked quoting Numbers 25 when debating god-botherers, myself.

What, not Matthew 7:21-23, or Matthew 6:1-5?

 
 

What does LUXEMBOURG do?

Don’t they make LUXEMBOURGers?

 
 

I’ve always liked quoting Numbers 25 when debating god-botherers, myself.

What, not Matthew 7:21-23, or Matthew 6:1-5?

[Wordpress: secretly Amy Alkon?]

 
 

Palin giveth and Palin taketh away

My 88-year-old father told me what McCain’s pick said to him: “McCain has given up. Obama will be elected because McCain has given up.”

This did not make him happy. He is a racist, and he is fearful of a black president. I don’t think he could bring himself to vote for a black president. But neither will he vote for a woman, especially a young and relatively inexperienced woman, as VP. There’s one vote that won’t be counted for either side in November.

 
 

I’ve always liked quoting Numbers 25 when debating god-botherers, myself.

Matthew 7:21-23, or Matthew 6:1-5 are better.

 
 

Can we please vote as to whether the latest flurry of Gary Ruppert postings is by the real Gary, the Real Gary, the Unreal Gary, Gary The 33rd Degree Mason, or Amy Alkon?

I volunteer to keep track of the votes. I have a Diebold machine right next to me.

 
 

Funny Story said,
August 30, 2008 at 20:06

Anybody else seen this?

http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-69834

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Either Sara Palin covered for her daughter’s pregnancy by claiming the child as hers, or she got on an 8-hour plane flight after her water broke, so the baby would be born in Alaska. Either way, we have officially entered Bizzarro World.

 
 

Palin’s favorite quote from Jesus Christ is “They’ll pry this gun from my cold, dead fingers”. It is found in the newest version of the Bible, they one the wingnuts use.

 
 

If McCain intended to use Palin to woo women voters, there are two words that come to mind: EPIC FAIL!!!

Polls just came out this morning showing that women are less favorable than men toward Palin:

Was Palin right choice for McCain?
Men: 43 yes, 31 no, 26 not sure
Women: 37 yes, 34 no, 30 not sure

More/Less likely to vote for McCain?
Men: 38 more, 32 less, 27 not sure
Women: 33 more 34 less, 29 not sure

Is Palin ready to be President?
Men: 35 yes, 41 no, 25 not sure
Women: 25 yes, 48 no, 28 not sure

Favorable — Palin:
Men: 58 fav, 23 unfav., 17 not sure
Women: 48 fav, 30 unfav, 30 not sure

 
 

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

This is starting to gain traction on the blogs (currently #1 diary at Orange Satan), and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

 
 

The fact is, shut your mouth, liberals. Debate me with facts, stop the name-calling and ad homonyms. This is why you are all so stupid and have no intelligence, but act all uppity. Your bias is showing.

 
 

Blue Buddha, if those are supposed to be haiku, then the number of syllables is all wrong.

 
 

To: Kathryn Lopez
Subject: Deep Random Thoughts
I would like to point out that there are very few articulate Republicans, present company not excepted. I am thankful that McCain could find one.
I would also like to point out that, contrary to popular belief, FDR was a failure, whose policies made the Depression worse instead of helping.

I would also like to point out that since Iran is bigger than Japan, it is a much bigger threat today than Japan was in 1938. Since all other factors in the mix in 1938 remain the same.

Signed, “T. Sowell”

 
 

Warm up the mooseburgers, Jethro. We got us a snomobile, a dozen hohos and a six pack of frozen bear piss. Look out St. Paul.

Spinal Tap is back for one last concert. And this time they’re running for President of the You Knighted States of ‘Merica.

Seriously, wha? Are you fucking shitting me? Homechick shoots Yogi Bear and eats Bullwinkle and the Wingers go apeshit and want more.

Did someone spike Grampy McCain’s metamucil with some Mexican Cialis?

 
 

“I’ve always liked quoting Numbers 25 when debating god-botherers, myself.”

Have to love a chapter that begins: “And Israel abode in Shittim…”

 
 

Hey.

It’s no act.

We ARE all uppity…

 
 

I’m not sure how I feel about that.

Yeah, no kidding. I mean, aren’t we constantly ragging on the ‘nutters for letting paranoid conspiracy crap like this bubble up through their swamp?

Ragging on her beliefs is one thing, but I’m not sure I feel comfortable with this shit, such as it is.

 
 

I agree to a point, Simba. This would be thrown out of any decent court in a second. Purely circumstantial.

But what if…just what if…Palin decides that she’s not gonna release her medical records? Isn’t that SOP for all candidates? That would certainly raise my eyebrows just a bit.

 
 

I just read the diary. Talk about “holy fucking shit”. That thing is creeeepy. Medical diagnosis from oversized high-res photographs of her daughter.

I smell a ratfuck operation. I mean, when the fuck was the last time someone used iReport.com to post something like this? I didn’t know the site even existed until now.

 
 

Either Sara Palin covered for her daughter’s pregnancy by claiming the child as hers, or she got on an 8-hour plane flight after her water broke, so the baby would be born in Alaska. Either way, we have officially entered Bizzarro World.

In the one case she wants to protect her daughter so I don’t need to know. In the other it is her business what she wants to do with her body.

 
 

I agree, RB. I also don’t want to know what Larry Craig and David Vitter do with their bodies, Lord knows. But at a time when rank hypocrisy and double-standards are literally threatening our freedoms, it’s occasionally useful to point them out.

Still, duly noted that there’s a minor involved.

 
 

As an immigrant, I’m not saying I came to the United States purely to meet chicks like that, but it was certainly high on my list of priorities.

Apparently Mark Steyn left Canada because he could not find anyone there who hunted caribou or cooked moose. He now dwells in New Hampshire.

 
 

Political blog + William Carlos Williams jokes = WIN

 
 

Sorry about the spam, guys– honestly, even clearing cookies and cache gave me the impression my posts were going into a void.

 
 

I second Nimrod Gently’s comment above. Seriously, who even thinks to make a William Carlos Williams joke anymore?

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

I agree with Me. You wanna poke fun at homphobic fags in public office – Ima fine with that. Infant children with Down’s Syndrome – not so much. Actually, infant children with or without genetic issues – Not. Fair. Game.

 
 

Was that actually the real Gary?

 
 

The concept of groping about at Noonan leaves me feeling faintly queasy.

 
Just Alison, without Qetesh
 

Hey, if we’re throwing around bible verses, you can’t go past Joshua 5:3. Particularly as illustrated by The Brick Testament. Sublime.

 
 

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