And that’s what I say: I say yeh yeh

The International Herald Tribune’s Roger Cohen gives the illusion of being concerned about something that, if you ask us, is well worth being concerned about:

The fact Obama is under such pressure reflects Republican success since Nixon and Reagan in framing Democrats as weak, unpatriotic and indecisive. “Conservative populism has successfully cast the liberal elite as looking down on the values of ordinary Americans,” said George Lakoff, a political theorist.

Roger’s bit would go over a lot better had he not written just a few paragraphs earlier:

But if the economy now trumps Iraq, I’d say personality still trumps the economy. In the end, the election will be about trust and authenticity. […] Is Obama more beer than Chardonnay? Is he a Dunkin’ Donuts or Starbucks kind of guy? Must he talk fancy? Is he one of us despite having what his wife Michelle called “that funny name?”

Beyond the sheer inanity of those questions, one thing is worth pointing out: the U.S. is a Starbucks country: 11,570 stores (PDF) to 5,769. Only California has more stores than Texas (PDF). But don’t blame Roger for raising these questions — Republicans are responsible for all this stuff. For all anyone knows, Republicans wrote the headline for his column (Obama’s from Main Street, ain’t he?). The very same Republicans, perhaps, who published this cartoon in Roger’s (NYT-owned) very own newspaper. David Brooks was right there today to point out how it’s done:

We meet today to pass the torch to a new generation of Americans, a generation that came of age amidst iced chais and mocha strawberry Frappuccinos[.]

So expect Roger to continue saying it’s all so very silly that Obama has to deal with all these questions, while continuously raising them.

Bonus points — Memo to David Brooks: Don’t give up your day job:

On United we stand, on US Airways, there’s a 25-minute delay.

 

Comments: 29

 
 
 

Seriously, why are there no funny conservatives?

Well, intentionally funny, I mean…Amy Alkon doesn’t count.

 
 

“Political Theorist” – is that like “Sanitation Engineer”?

 
 

I love that Massachusetts-based Dunkin Donuts is the symbol for the common man. RE-ELECT JOHN KERRY!

 
 

Watching local news last week, I came across a story of a national guard troop returning from Iraq. One member of the Illinois unit profiled stated he couldn’t wait to enjoy sushi.

I know what you’re thinking, Republicans. That’s right – faggot.

 
Amy Alkon's demented psyche
 

Isn’t it about time for a post about me?

You lousy tiny turds.

 
 

I’d like to blow a big “Frappuccino” in Cohen’s general direction.

 
Coach Urban Meyer
 

What’s up, loony libs? The Cool Coach is back at you, doing his thing, and you better watch out, because Obummer’s pitiful momentum just took a turn for the worse! That’s right, I’m talking about Super Sarah, the Power Palin, who has what it takes to show you some real Change in Dumbocratland up on Crapitol Hill! You better believe this nation is ready for some conservative straight talk, and Super Sarah whips out just that! Celebrobama better check himself he’s wrecked, himself…by the Power Palin!

I have never seen Governor Palin speak before in my life, although I have heard of her. Let me say that this hard core conservative has shed some happy tears during her speech. This is the day that the conservative movement took back control of the GOP and the day that McCain won the election. She IS from a small town, and it shows. We are blessed to have her on the ticket. The other side is looking a very old, tired, and a little cheap.

 
 

Coach Urban Meyer said,

August 29, 2008 at 19:41

Needs more SPREAD.

 
 

I’m talking about Super Sarah, the Power Palin

That’s right! She sucks, she blows, she swallows!

Hi, Billy Mays here and I have this incredible new gadget that you must have! The Super Palin Power Blower!

 
 

Why is it always about coffee or football? There are other metaphors. I’d like to see more highly graphic sex metaphors in our political discourse. Maybe David Duchovny can skip rehab and just be a political consultant.

 
 

I have never seen Governor Palin speak before in my life

Did she have to be trained to bark on cue or was she a natural?

 
 

She IS from a small town, and it shows.

She fucks her cousins?

 
 

Since when does drinking wine and starbucks make some inauthentic? That is fucking retarded on every level.

See, a lot of people drink wine and Starbucks. Some of those people are phony assholes. Some of those people are the type of people you trust with your life. The fact that they might prefer wine over beer comes down to a matter of PERSONAL FUCKING TASTE IN THEIR BEVERAGE, not what a good person they are.

Asshole.

 
 

“Political Theorist” – is that like “Sanitation Engineer”?

Heh, indeedy – & they’ll happily deliver just as much “biomass catalyst” as their “concave delivery module” can hold, for as long as you can withstand the “enriched olfactory context” of same!

What’s up, loony libs?

Hey, it’s CUMquat his/her/itself! Got a new cut-&-paste unit to replace the one you wore out LAST time you made a royal arse of yourself here, did you?

Go go, Gadget Plagiarizer, GO! No … really, go. Go the hell away & stay there. You’re about half as funny as a hangnail & a quarter as smart. Please, for all our sakes, Google “masturbation” & follow the diagrams you find at the end of your noble quest: then at least you’ll be doing something worthwhile – you are beyond useless here.

 
 

You forgot to highlight “Must he talk fancy?”

Christ. These clowns really have cornered the stoopid market.

 
 

Bonus points — Memo to David Brooks: Don’t give up your day job:

David Brooks, professional douchebag.

 
 

I have never seen Governor Palin speak before in my life, although I have heard of her. Let me say that this hard core conservative has shed some happy tears during her speech.

You’re too creepily realistic. You’re confusing people here.

 
 

aw, C.U.M.’s job is to be creepily realistic.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Needs more SPREAD.

And James Lewis. Also, words that end in “zzle”.

 
 

And James Lewis.

Nah, it’s the intro and the outro where the Coachster shizzles.

 
 

“…very old, tired, and a little cheap.”

Now, now. Palin may be inexperienced and wingnutty, but she’s certainly not cheap.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Nah, it’s the intro and the outroé where the Coachster shizzles.

Fixée.

 
 

Apparently the Dumpster had too much santorum and needed to be emptied out.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

For all anyone knows, Republicans wrote the headline for his column (Obama’s from Main Street, ain’t he?).

Well, I know no one wants to read it, but it’s hard to have an opinion about who wrote the headline without teh link.

 
 

In addition to being unfunny, Brooks is a plaigarist.

“One path before us leads to the past, and the extinction of the human race. The other path leads to the future, when we will all be dead. We must choose wisely.”

Woody Allen, “More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.”

 
 

I thought Brooks’ column was uncharacteristically funny as a parody of a generic political speech. It characteristically made no sense as a parody of Obama’s speech, since it had absolutely nothing to do with O’s speech.

(Note to Bobo – Watch some more Palin – Michael, that is – and company for pointers.)

 
 

Yeah, I think it’s lame the way he mangled Woody’s line about the crossroads, but using it in the first place seems like a pretty okay thing to do, particularly in a parody of political speech.

l’m… l’m reminded tonight of the…

of the farmer who had

incestuous relations with both
his daughters

simultaneously

lt’s the… lt’s… lt’s the…

lt’s the… wrong crowd for this joke.

 
 

But… but… but… …didn’t Roger Cohen get the memo that Dunkin Donuts is officially in league with teh islamofash(ion)ists? I mean, with them there evil scarf thing in that ad or something.

 
 

Odd because I remember reading in the paper the other day about a 6 car caravan taking McCain to Starbucks for a cappuccino.
in case the linky won’t worky:
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/the-trail/2008/08/22/for_mccain_a_cappuccino_run_wi.html

Christ, can’t these people even get their slurs right?

 
 

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