Great Moments In Service Journalism*
Posted on August 28th, 2008 by Gavin M.
I am 15 and live in a part of America that is very traditional. My problem that I’m writing to you about is I have thought for a long time that I am gay. My question is what is the right thing to do? I am going to be a junior in high school and last year things got pretty bad with other kids gossiping.
I have a couple good friends though and also have the internet LOL. You look like someone who can understand what it is like to have a secret like this and what to do. So what is your advice?
Signed, “Dr. Frank N. Furter from Transylvania” (hehe)
*Cf.
She didn’t?!??!?!!?
Is this for real?
No, it’s Photoshopped. Not real at all.
DOODZ! I sooooooo want a trannie drunk dialing me at work!
Still juvenile – but [expletive deleted] funny as [expletive deleted] hell.
Uh-oh Gavin. A certain
deranged transsexual“advice goddess” is going to be very angry with you! And you know whathe’sshe’s like whenhe’sshe’s angry! Perhaps you should quit your job, change your name and move across the country. Quickly.It’s EdmOnd, with an ‘O’, Oh yeah, and McCain was a tortured POW, bet you didn’t know that either.
What the f#ck is going on? You cant swear on this website?
The post is incoherent. Cant make sense of a phony letter, a photoshopped “email”, and a asterik to an acronym to a something that is nebulous at best.
Slow down on the Crown and Cokes, y’all.
Shouldn’t that title read “…..servicing journalists”?
WTF?
So, um… what happened, Amy?
???
WTF, mate? Incoherent.
Signed, “Dr. Frank N. Furter from Transylvania” (hehe)
Needs more
cowbellyoutube!“And that they’re sending people over here to do it.” Why not out the creator(s) of sadly no and nail them under the internet statutes.
Posted by: vlad at August 28, 2008 10:39 AM
PWN3D!!!!1!!1!1!1!!eleventy-squillion1!1!!!!
She’s had several TV deals for her own show.
So, um… what happened, Amy?
The Janet Jackson incident.
Sorry, Gavin. I just came online and I missed today’s earlier Alkon post.
That’s no reason to be mean to me and try to shut down my free speech rights.
You are a tranny and I am going to track you down and tell your employer and put a stop to this Sadly, No conspiracy by drowning you all in my friend’s moat of fecal matter, which really exists, I swear.
You idjit, Cartwright St is in Virginia City, NV!
….and nail them under the internet statutes.
Sounds a little too namby-pamby to me. Why not nail them to internet statues?
Crap, now I have The Bonanza Theme Song running thru my head!
There must be some kind of Internet Statue(sic) against that.
The absence of the word “tiny” was a dead giveaway.
We don’t exist.
Gary Ruppert is making you pick on poor Amy, right?
Gary Rupert knows Amy’s real secret.
Advice Goddess will not be triffled with! (S)he suffers no fools gladly! Yawwrrr!!
All your internet statutes are belong to Amy.
This shit is just getting too funny, now the tranny is blocking comments!
I had an Internet Statute once.
Actually, it was more of a Statuette.
They are really wound up about the guy browsing the net at work.
Do they expect people to do jumping jacks when things are slow?
I’m not sure which Internet Statute that person was referring to.
and as you might guess, I am aware of ALL internet statutes.
C’mon guys, I’m not sure this is fair to Ms. Alkon. Here’s how her “All About Amy” page starts on her website:
If she throws around such phrases as “psychologically sound” and “based on science”, that certainly must mean that she has some sort of credentials. She just has to have qualifications beyond “she’s been published somewhere.” In fact, her credentials are . . . uhm . . . well . . . OK.
But still, as a paid advice columnist, I’m sure she’s bound to some sort of professional code of ethics. Confidentiality has to factor in there somewhere. And these are . . . uhm . . . wait a minute here . . . OK, Gavin is on target here.
What gets to me is that this keeps getting dumberer:
“beat some manners into impolite society” ? You know, all I can think of is something that Judith Martin writing as Miss Manners wrote years ago in one of her books: the best response to rude behavior is to be excruciatingly polite yourself. Once we think of ourselves as an example to others regardless of what others honestly think of us, we’re heading down that road that includes bragging about our humility and lecturing losers on their lack of empathy.
Not that I’m claiming to be a moral example. Ha! I’m not that stupid or reckless. But since Ms. Alkon will likely be reading this: she strikes me as the kind of person who’d take a crap on my floor and then complain about my housekeeping.
The fact is, where’s that DayByDay remix?
This post is weirder than NoQuarter’s “Fake Wesley Clark email where he’s just as batshit as the rest of us here” post. And that is one goddamned weird post, let me tell you.
Interestingly, the SadlyNo website appears to be down. You don’t think they ran for their lives, do you? Perhaps Mr. Dailey was more involved at SadlyNo than first thought?
Posted by: Jeff at August 28, 2008 12:11 PM
Are you ascairt yet?
Hmm. Kinda, well, odd.
I mean:
1. advicegoddess.com
2. Network Solutions
3. Glass Houses
Some assembly required. But then, we aren’t assholes…
mikey
I can think of is something that Judith Martin writing as Miss Manners wrote years ago in one of her books: the best response to rude behavior is to be excruciatingly polite yourself.
I love Judith Martin. The only other advice columnist I have any respect for whatsoever is Carolyn Hax. I think Hax is actually a psychologist or something. At any rate, she seems to know what she’s talking about. Other than that, they all mostly suck. I read Dear Abby because it’s almost always amusing to see to what degree her advice is ever so slightly off on any given day. Somehow, poor Abby always seems to miss the point either by a little or a lot.
Amy should read Hax to see how it’s done. Hell, she should write to Hax and ask her for advice.
Dan Savage is pretty great.
Interestingly, the SadlyNo website appears to be down. You don’t think they ran for their lives, do you? Perhaps Mr. Dailey was more involved at SadlyNo than first thought?
Posted by: Jeff at August 28, 2008 12:11 PM
I blame Ned Lamont.
I don’t get it?
You are making fake emails now?
Are you ascairt yet?
Maybe if it was Malkin we were talking about. Anyone remember the Dastardly DOS attacks?
Dan Savage was pretty great until he realized “Wait a minute – I don’t have sex with women, so I don’t need to pretend to their faces that I think they’re more important than dogshit!” and conducted his columns accordingly.
But yes, you can’t beat Miss Manners. You would be ashamed at your own rude behavior if you tried.
Hmm.
Y’know, Gavin, maybe you should have titled it “Fixing the (lack of) Intelligence around the Policy” instead.
Kind of a play on your old “Fixing the Internets” posts…
mikey
Has that dude had his wanker cut off yet?
So is she a tranny or not?
Talk about getting bent out of shape. You just ban a clown like that. Does she trace back the IPs of every comment she doesn’t like?
P.S., not the same Jeff
He is a little defensive isn’t he. Most people would have just said no. Not Arnold.
Amy is completing a book, REVENGERELLA: One woman’s battle to beat some manners into impolite society.
Toujours la politesse, unless you have to kick the ever-living shit out of someone who’s annoyed you.
FYWP.
As the answer to jeff’s question: Yes, I think that is what the purpose of her blog now is.
She is not a tranny. She is an ugly, ugly woman. Very ugly. Fugly. Fuh-uh-uh-ugly. F**king ugly.
But she makes up for her looks by having a grotesque personality.
Wow, another IP.
Can’t.Look.Away.
I believe the internet statute discussed by Amy’s commenters, is the magic law that permits bed-wetting wingers to prosecute anyone, anywhere, for saying things on the internets that hurt their feelings.
Well I already stated this in the previous Alkon thread, but it’s so good I’ll just quote myself:
Sounds a little too namby-pamby to me. Why not nail them to internet statues?
The IPieta?
But yes, you can’t beat Miss Manners. You would be ashamed at your own rude behavior if you tried.
Miss Manners is the only reason I get the newspaper anymore.
Amy’s favorite two words seem to be “tiny” and “turd”.
And she claims to be “psychologically sound”.
I’ll let other S,Ners write the 2,443,779 punchlines.
Incidentally, this quote is for AA’s Testicles:
Your wordpress is suk.
Dear Ms. Midler,
I loved you in The Rose, it is my favorite film. Could you please send me an autographed pitchur?
Just look up my ip address and send it to me that way.
Hanx.
Perhaps that’s because I have the balls to comment in my own name.
Posted by: Amy Alkon at August 28, 2008 1:12 PM
She really leaves the door wide open, doesn’t she?
She also insists, as everyone knows because she repeats it so dang much. that we’re a part of an organized effort to shut her down.
Are we getting T-shirts or anything?
Poor dailey. that totally sucks.
(light-bulb comes on)
Hey – you think perhaps THIS is who Bush asked for advice back in 2002-2003, about him & Tony Blair invading Iraq?
Sure would explain a lot.
that is also the reason why I rarely – if ever – actually click on a wingnut link. Nor do I ever ever post. They are bad people and not to be trusted.
She really does look like Dr. Frank-N-Furter…yikes.
Good note, Jeff!
Another scalp for Alkon, I’d wager. However many people are involved in this, it appears that she’s got ’em on the run.
Posted by: Crid [cridcridatgmail] at August 28, 2008 12:31 PM
Right, on the run. The banning surely has nothing to do with the lack of responses to Alkon idiocy.
What are the handful of faithful visitors going to do when we’re gone? Agree with themselves till th point of orgasm?
I hate to be a wet blanket, but is it really in S,N!’s best interests to help this woman market herself?
I don’t mean to be high n mighty, I went over and got banned half a dozen times by her in the first go ’round, but I dunno. She’s trying to use S,N! to promote herself, n I’d prefer it didn’t happen.
> She also insists, as everyone knows because she repeats it so dang much. that we’re a part of an organized effort to shut her down.
Shhhhh! Don’t let her know!
S,N members #5,000 to #5,050 are requested to post mean comments to her blog tonight. Tomorrow members #5,051 to #5,100 must post snark to her blog. Other members are to stay in standby mode.
That is all.
Hey guys.
Look, I’m not really feeling up to it right now. I ran out of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and Game Fuel a few days ago and it’s really hit me hard today. So I’ll just give you this, and you can fill in the blanks:
Michelle Obama, affirmative action, radical leftists, not fair, not fair, not fair. McCain’s gonna win because alwekfj afkla ;fjkl a;fjkwf;fael;fijaiae;ifjaweil;fja ilwejfaeilwf. Ha ha, I win a bazillion times infinity plus one.
Perhaps that’s because I have the balls to comment in my own name.
Posted by: Amy Alkon at August 28, 2008 1:12 PM
First, that kind of tacitly admits that she has balls.
Second, she has the balls cause she knows that no self-respecting liberal will actually try to harm her in the world off the internet. It’s analogous a bully wielding a knife and then taunting you for not having the guts to fight…
She’s trying to use S,N! to promote herself, n I’d prefer it didn’t happen.
Send a link of her outing post to her various ombudsmen, should compensate.
Is this a cry for help from Amy?
Yep, calling her a tranny really hit close to home. Poor dear.
Obviously, each deal fell through when they finally got a look at her!
Budget problems. The camera kept breaking.
Aye, aye , Sir.
(Uh what’s my #? That little Forgot your so-called-progressive-turd number? butoon isn’t working)
*button*
Perhaps that’s because I have the balls to comment in my own name.
Posted by: Amy Alkon at August 28, 2008 1:12 PM
Prove it! Post your IP so we can out you!
(light-bulb comes on)
Hey – you think perhaps THIS is who Bush asked for advice back in 2002-2003, about him & Tony Blair invading Iraq?
Dear Miss Alkon,
My freind Toni and I are getting mad at this counry I’ll call Ira. Ira is ran by a mean guy and he kicked sand in my Dad’s face so my Dad got in a big fight with him and won but then Dad just let the guy go! Ira has a lot of this stuff that I want to give to my friends for free so they give me lots of money so I can live in a nice house and get paid for doing nuthing. All day. And my frend Dick he says that we should start a new fight with Ira so that my Dad will feel good and we can give oil to my other buds. Anyway I talked to Toni he lives in a country I’ll call Engy and he says he’ll back me up so do you think I shoud fight Ira? You supposed to be the Advise Godess so tell me what shud I do?
Cinserely yous,
George W.
Dear George W.,
Yes! Fight fight fight Ira! I heard he called you a dummy. You are not a dummy. I know from dummies. Ira is a dark skinned scary person who looks like a dark skinned scary person who grabbed my behind in a dark street once. Now I find out where people I don’t like live and work and I post their IP’s on my web site and boy George do those little tiny-dicked fascists ever regret they messed with me! Ha! That is fun!
Anyway, unless you want to be a big loser like your old man, bomb “Ira” back to the stone age! And post his IP on the internet too!
Affectionately,
Amy Alkon
You really must pardon my poor Amy , she hasn’t been quite the same since that nasty Dorothy’s house landed on her sister.
When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like
OMG the Internet is full of people threatening me with hammers!!!
“So, um… what happened, Amy?”
They couldn’t find a fog filter thick enough to block out all teh evil.
Hello!!
Clearly, some internet traditions are more equal than others.
Candy, that post is so full of win, I can hardly stand it.
It is baffling, it really is. How can one person be filled with so much spite? It isn’t even premium hate, or even pure, uncut rage.. Nope, this is sludgy, third grade spite, contaminated with traces of resentment and delusion.
Enjoying life is so easy really. A good nights sleep, some good ale, and a motorbike that starts on the first kick. Always works for me.
Amy is an ugly, ugly person. The ugly goes right down to the bone.
I don’t get this “sending” thing. I mean, aside from the fact that reading and posting to a website doesn’t involve, er, cyber-traveling through the VR matrixplex or whatever, is it really so unbelievable that a bunch of people who regularly comment on one blog might want to comment on another blog? Particularly when the owner of said blog is, shall we say, hysterically funny?
I mean, you’ve got:
“I don’t care if you call me a tranny but I am going to yammer on about it a tremendous amount and also find out who you are and post your phone number”
“the real racists are people who don’t yell at poor black people” and
“to demonstrate my maturity I will use third-grade mockery versions of everyone’s name”
Granted I call Glenn Sacks “Glenn’s Sac” but then I’m not making any claims to maturity. But “Sadly, No!” –> “So Pathetic”? That’s not even trying. She’s not actually that funny (intentionally that is), her best posts are the ones where she says “Hey look at this article written by someone else (3 pages of blockquote) read the rest”, and you get better advice from Mary Worth (and I’m including that stalker-intervention-drunken-suicide plotline).
How much coke and/or meth do you need to have snorted before calling a stranger up off and on from 3 until 5 in the morning to yell at them seems like an appropriate course of action?
Tranny? Naw. The love child of the Joker and Carrot-top? Maybe.
Whatever destroys dignity, and brings down the mighty from their seats, preferably with a bump, or a loud farting sound, or an offscreen clatter of utensils followed by an irritated-sounding cat yowl, is funny.
Also words that sound like bad words but aren’t, like “fricative” and “mukluk”.
Don’t! Stop! Don’t! Stop!…. Don’t Stop! Don’t Stop!
Like a number of her fellow drag artists, Amy Alkon is gradually moving through 1980s female icons. She’s finally getting over her Bette Midler period and has now moved on to Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction.”
(Let’s just hope poor Dailey doesn’t have any pet bunnies).
She is horrible. She had better watch out because karma is a real biatch. And internet karma is a bad mofo.
How long do you think it’ll last:
Sadly No! gives you free traffic and you complain? Not much of a capitalist, eh?
Honestly Amy, you and your blogzens are indignant people who don’t seem to like anyone but themselves. I’m not a trained psychologist, but I would say you and yours have an overactive sense of self importance and that what you say actually matters. It’s such a pity too.
Since Ann Coulter is aging rapidly, it’s hard to find attractive trannies such as yourself. Too bad.
Posted by: kindness at August 28, 2008 2:22 PM
an offscreen clatter of utensils followed by an irritated-sounding cat yowl, is funny.
Not funny. Not funny at all.
Excerpt from introduction:
“People interested in the most attractive trannies should look in NYC. Avoid LA, hangout for such failed operations as AMY ALKON.”
At least it’s a good, quick hit troll. You know it’s stinging because she’s over there riding that ban button…give it a try, you’ll find your posting privileges revoked in about 30 seconds, give or take….
Amy Alkon is a lousy lay. Yeah, I said it!
Crazy people are crazy.
So what have we learned from Amy?
Using humiliation, ridicule and scorn in an effort to deprive women of their childbearing choices: Good.
Using the same to punish racism: OMG!! NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN TO ME!!!!!!!!!!
I had my own bad encounter with Alkon years ago. I had done a post (on my incredibly obscure blog) about Pajamas Media and mentioned Alkon’s blog, observing that she looked like Sandra Bernhard on a good hair day. Then I was beseiged by angry comments from Alkon, who must have googled her name or checked Technorati or something. The angry comments didn’t stop until I said that she looked like Sandra Bernhard on a bad hair day. For someone reason, that calmed her down.
AC/DC Shes got balls
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he6Vpo8hJKU&feature=related
Oh, yea. Angus is god. When do we get to vote for the young Angus Vs. old Angus postage stamps?
Grace,
That’s just the kind of response that tells me she’s suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. Since Bernhard “never has a good hair day”, your retraction of your initial comparison means to her that she does not look like Sandra Bernhard- who, clearly, she hates for being more successful with the same schtick.
Of course, IANAP(sychiatrist), so take it as you will…
Leave me alone, you bunch of tiny turds!
I like all the commenters on Amy’s blog saying that if Amy was a man she wouldn’t get this kind of treatment. So true. I’ve never seen anyone of the male persuasion mocked on this website. Ever.
> Then I was beseiged by angry comments from Alkon, who must have googled her name or checked Technorati or something.
According to Amy, that means she was trying to censor your blog, and the most appropriate course of action you could’ve taken is posting her IP address and stalking her.
Having wingnuts around as clueless about themselves and reality as Amy is never fails to make me laugh.
I have started a long screed here, I’ve started a long screed at her place, and I’ve trashed them both just because they were getting too involved and deep.
I’ll just say this—this seriously pisses me off. She’s crossed a line, she’s gone way too far, she’s about three light years over the line.
This woman is insane, in the classical jibberty-jabber way. God, this makes me so angry.
Also words that sound like bad words but aren’t, like “fricative” and “mukluk”.
Kumquat.
Thanks Grace. That’s some kinda Alkon right there:
Yeah, and if somebody like me stops by to call you a petty, underinteresting buttwad, likewise suck it up. I don’t mind criticism. In fact, my favorite mail is my hate mail, and people have posted on my web site saying I look like a trannie — which I actually found funny (and naturally, as a total free speech advocate, I left the comment up). But for you to criticize my blog largely based on my photo — without knowing whether I actually look like that photo…and then you can’t even manage to stretch beyond the antique cliché “good hair day”…if you can’t do better than that maybe you shouldn’t bother criticizing at all. PS The photo was shot on my porch with a Nikon by Josh Goldberg sans vaseline on the lens, in natural light, in front of a piece of gray sweatshirt fabric nailed above my living room window. Tragically, I was forced to apply my own mascara for the occasion.
Amy Alkon | Homepage | 12.09.05 – 7:58 pm | #
Citizen, if that is indeed a “Body Heat” reference, you win a prize.
Since very few people visit my wee blog which I rarely post to (I don’t know what to do with it, yet), it’s been pretty easy for me to identify friends and family’s IP’s. When I posted comments at Alkon’s site, under my name and with my real email address, and linked here to some Alkon ass-shots on Flickr, an LA-based user magically appeared on my blog’s radar screen. Quickly, too. Could have been her dorsal fin, or not.
Personally, I’m not bothered that these exchanges are driving up her numbers because, contrary to how most humans behave when they find themselves before a crowd, she behaves as monkeys do, masturbating ferociously while flinging poo through the bars. Being spattered is no fun, but the new crowds at Alkon’s leave knowing that she is a monkey, and that approaching her cage is a bad idea.
Too much to read. Here’s one:
Let the punishment fit the crime, you know? — larry mckenna
Agreed. But Larry, who’s punishing? Not Amy. All she has done, at most, is to identify a crime.
Posted by: Norman at August 28, 2008 2:34 PM
I was going to ask Norm for the criminal statute cite for this claim, but alas, I, too, have been banned.
All I did was wonder if she was the inspiration for Glenn Closes’s character in “Fatal Attraction’.
I wonder if that was a crime or a misdemeanor?
Oh, yes, I remember reading that one: that was Amy Alkon and the Case of the Consternating Caller; I think it’s the third book in the series.
But that was a while back. I rather enjoyed the last book (thirty-fourth in the series, I believe): Amy Alkon and the Case of the Sinister Sign Snatcher. That’s the one with the sh*t moat device, very clever indeed!
The newest one, Amy Alkon and the Tranny Taunting Terror is maybe my favorite though, as the “Amy” character is moving away from the Nancy Drew-like origins of the series and into real Jim Thompson territory as our main character descends further and further into a devastating landscape of noir-ish paranoia.
The Amy character’s ever-increasing references to the “mob” she feels is constantly pursuing her only begins to hint at what I expect will be perhaps the explosive pinnacle of the series, the upcoming thirty-fifth volume, Amy Alkon and the Menacing Mob of the Mind.
I do have to say I’m sure glad Amy Alkon is a fictional character, though, just like I’m relieved that Lou Ford in Thomspon’s The Killer Inside Me isn’t actually an insane deputy sheriff who lives in my town. Anyone like the Amy character who actually saw themselves as so frequently in cycles of peril and revenge in real life would almost assuredly be a paranoid-schizophrenic.
Ms.Alkon does indeed suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder , in fact , she is a classic (head) case.
Diagnostic Criteria
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1.has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2 is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
( Or fantasies that she can actually WRITE !)
3.believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
(She can only be understood by her sycophants and sock puppets.)
4.requires excessive admiration
( Boy does she ever !)
5.has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
(Agree with her , or she’ll ban you! )
6.is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
( Like blaming a black woman for getting in the way of a cop’s bullet in order to get her racism on.)
7.lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
( Unless of course , you’re kissing her ass.)
8.is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
9.shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
( She takes arrogent to a whole new level.)
http://www.mentalhealth.com/dis1/p21-pe07.html
Hi, I’m Amy Alkon. People have been calling me a tranny since 2005, at least. But it wasn’t until those tiny turds at Sadly, No! started their outrageous campaign of blatant censorship against me that I finally decided, enough is enough. And so I posted the IP address of someone who asked if I was a tranny.
No, I’m not batshit insane. Why do you ask?
Have you seen me? I’ve been missing since 1982.
First, I think someone should call that media director at NOAA and inform him of the batshittiness of the Amy Alkon brigade, and not to take their threats seriously, although that may get poor Kevin in more trouble than he’s already in. S!N should offer that man some support.
Second, this whole issue of Amy’s gender identity reminds me of the story of the occasion when my wife, waiting for her therapist, encountered another patient in the waiting room who was clearly a man in drag. After staring at my wife for several uncomfortable moments, s/he asked “Are you a gigi?”
My wife, not knowing to what condition ‘a gigi’ referred, replied, “No.”
At which the other patient’s eyes widened and s/he said, “Wow!” and departed.
Later, my wife described the encounter to her therapist… who cracked up. “GG,” said the shrink, “means Genetic Girl. You just told her that you were born a man.”
(I still crack up every time my wife tells this. She does the “Wow” part in a husky false baritone…)
The wingnuts have continued; they are now onto analysis of the tiny turds. From Tranny’s blog comment section:
————————————————————-
This scam is one guy, or mostly one guy, who’s operating a complete commentary ecosystem of fake identities, with fake blogs and reserve personalities and all the rest.
Posted by: Cridcrid at g mail at August 28, 2008 3:28 PM
Crid has a point. Now that I think about it, he may very well be right, it could just be one lone nut with nothing better to do.
I think the most telling point would be the timing of the posts, if they all tend to come in clusters at whatever time this fellow has to do it…and then silence until there is more time, that would be rather good evidence.
Posted by: Robert at August 28, 2008 3:38 PM
———————————————————————–
It appears the Five Stages of wingnuttery are:
1. Hatred & Anger
2. Stalking
3. Kerning and/or Vast Left Wing Conspiricy analysis
4. Posting the results of their “investigations” on various nutjob blogs
5. Heads exploding once the reality of a black President sinks into their vestigal brains.
bughunter—
I don’t think we should call anyone at NOAA, unless someone with experience in a situation like this thinks it would help. I would imagine at this point there’s some managers who have experience with problems like this and some who don’t, and you don’t want to risk damaging this person’s reputation in the mind of their boss because random people from the Internet are calling them and telling them conflicting things about this person.
I have no experience in a situation like this, and I hope I never do, but I would want control over the situation more than anything else, and even if people were trying to help, I’d want everyone to just stay out unless I specifically asked.
Just my thoughts. I suspect others here might have other/better ideas.
“REVENGERELLA: One woman’s battle to beat some manners into impolite society.”
A.k.a Serial Mom. Or, in Miss Alkon’s case, Serial Owner of a Disappointed Uterus.
I found the comic strip version of Ms. Amy:
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/08/28/offense.gif
Heh.
Oh, Amy, you little shlyukha.
I just got my marching orders. They led me to a bar.
“REVENGERELLA: One woman’s battle to beat some manners into impolite society.”
Unfortunately the title Inverted World was already taken.
I guess we all have our differences.
The thing that bugs me the most about this is when some assclown with a website like amy discovers that there exists some magic thing called an IP address and that information is (for some reason they can’t understand) logged at the server and being able to find that information alone makes them super duper hackers.
These people have never heard of OSI, don’t know what the TCP part of TCP/IP is for, and wouldn’t recognize a UDP packet if they found it crawling in their pubic hair.
Now she manages to figure out who this poor bastard is by looking at his email address and she’s all “don’t F*CK with me, babe, I’ll send some, um commands and junk over the internets to erase your hard drive or something”.
Those of us who had to learn this stuff, either in real time as it was being deployed or a part of a higher calling don’t have a lot of patience with your OH! IP Address!! I Are a Network Engineer!! Crap….
mikey
This is certainly rich material for a the screenplay “Raging Steer”.
Okay, so I can’t really share a lot of the details, but back when I was in school I wasted a bunch of time with this guy who posted to this one newsgroup on USENET a lot, and he was crazy — like Time Cube crazy, real crazy stuff. Anyway looking back on it I feel kind of bad because, you know, he wasn’t just some jerk who was wrong about science and insisted he was right; he was a literally schizophrenic jerk who was wrong and insisted he was right.
(I think maybe I wasn’t simply picking on a crazy person and it was a bit more complex, but that’s another story).
Anyway, one day for some reason he decided to take something I had written and replace his name with the name of the chair of my department and then email that to said chair. Who was also one of my advisors. Ha!
So what comes out of this is that the chair of my department at first thinks that I am saying weird mean stuff about him on the internet, and then I show him that it’s been edited and really I’m just saying weird mean stuff about a crazy guy on the internet, which as it turns out isn’t much better, maybe a little, and that I’m obviously doing that while I’m supposed to be, like, doing rocket surgery or whatever.
So the thing is: (a) crazy internet people can do stuff to you in real life, sort of, and (b) it’s best to do your obnoxious stuff from a place that’s not paying you to work there, or something.
I just don’t get why anyone would want advice from somebody with more restraining orders than friends.
rocket surgery sounds awesome.
…beats the heck out of brain science…
It’s more awesome than laser surgery, and that has lasers in it.
So the thing is: (a) crazy internet people can do stuff to you in real life, sort of, and (b) it’s best to do your obnoxious stuff from a place that’s not paying you to work there, or something.
That’s sound advice!
I do my obnoxious stuff from a “special” place!!
Laughing hard at Wingnut Kerners.
Of course, I worry about doing my obnoxious stuff from home, too.
Rocket surgery = remake of Fantastic Voyage.
I can cope with any kind of surgery that involves Raquel Walsh.
Someone brought up the idea of “Where have we heard this before?” in the other thread about Amy’s feces-flinging-into-a-shit-moat hysteria, and I had instantly thought of Jeff The Cockslapper. Because he did similar crap, and in the same hysterical vein. And then I got to thinking, is there any way we can involve The Cockslapper in this? Because if we could harness the power of the shit flinging that would ensue, we could power the world for decades.
Unless Amy is The Cockslapper. Which, actually, would explain a lot.
Amy may be certifiable – ok, she IS – but the guy who sent her an email from his work address is a trifle short on brains. It’s not as if Amy hasn’t demonstrated an obsession with tracking and displaying IP addresses.
“Are you a tranny?”
LAME.
Amy is classless and stupid; why lower yourself to her level? Juvenile morons aren’t doing the left any favours.
You know, up til today, my favorite idea for crossing that fine line between closure and revenge was to give the avengee’s contact info to scientologists. Now, I gotta confess, it’s an act of willpower to refrain from using a few aggravating people’s work email addresses to post provoking comments on winger blogs, then sit back and watch the magic happen.
Nope. Not gonna do it.
Apparently the worst thing that’s ever happened to her is that some anonymous loser grabbed her bottom. I’m not condoning random butt-grabbings, but holy [expletive deleted] shit – this is the same person who thinks she has a better [expletive deleted] perspective on the troubles faced by inner city youth and the black community… You can bet your [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] that a transexual would be able to see how [expletive deleted] retarded her current claims of victimization are.
Sadly, No! Somewhere in my philes I still have the transcripts from the mid-1970s shitemoating when an out&proud M-to-F decided to appointment themselves Feminism Purity Monitor of a certain feminist “amateur press association.” (Back in those days, blogging wars had to be carried out on paper; they took longer but were no less vicious.) This involved long disquisitions explaining that mere womb-myn could never have the true feminist credentials of those who actively CHOSE to assume the Sacred Burdens of Feminism!!!1!!!, plus a ripe selection of paranoia, bad grammar, random accusations of censorship!!!!!, and eventually fat envelopes full of individually-tailored crazy and the occasional obscene phone call.
Since those halcyon days, I have never been surprised at the demented fervour of Log Cabin Republicans calling for “defense of marriage” statutes, Clarence Thomas accusing Anita Hill of “vindictiveness”, or people like Godlstein and Alkon decrying cyber-stalking. For a certain percentage of our fellow citizens, if it ain’t All About Them, it ain’t happened. Knowing this has saved me any amout of time & energy, because arguing with an All-About-Me individual is like trying to teach your cat to wash dishes — it’s not gonna work, and both parties are liable to be permanently scarred by the attempt.
The fact is, this woman sounds crazy as phuque.
like trying to teach your cat to wash dishes — it’s not gonna work,
Judging from the comment at 23:18, Doctorb has made the attempt.
The fact is, I really wanted to register the domain name phuque.yu but they won’t let anyone who’s not Yugoslavian have a .yu domain.
Mikey,
Oh, PLEASE don’t remind me about learning all the different network model layers (the seven OSI layers vs. the four TCP/IP layers), deciphering hex addresses into dotted quad notation, the competing LAN topologies of the time (token-ring, bus, STARLan), setting up vampire taps, etc. I wanna have PEACE and SANITY!! Just let me do a little UUCP and UUX while I dodder into senility.
What a hateful, vindictive thing to do. I’m not sure I’d go that far (contacting employer, publishing personal information) in response to a death threat. How do these people live with themselves?
Also, hilariously, one of her commentors thinks that asking “are you a tranny” (yes lame, but harmless) is gay harassment !!??!!
Does he understand that being a trannie doesn’t make you gay (and vice-versa)? They really don’t understand fuck all, do they?
Anyone here NOT still having their nappies changed by their mommies?
Anyone here NOT still having their nappies changed by their mommies?
…yes
“Anyone here NOT still having their nappies changed by their mommies?”
Very witty riposte. You showed us!
Yes, we are ALL still having our nappies changed by our mommies.
I just realized who Amy reminds me of.
The crazed character, Masha, played by Sandra Bernhard in the King of Comedy.
I found a clip of “Masha” from the movie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1onK46_r0ss
Is this Amy or is this Amy?
having their nappies changed by their mommies?
Not our scene, Gman, but with the help of the Great Google, you may be able to find a more suitable web-site.
Tell me, am I right? How is this not Amy?
FIX WORDPISS PLEASE
trying again. Masha…in one of her Amy moments
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1onK46_r0ss
trying again. Masha having an Amy conniption.
youtube dot com/watch?v=1onK46_r0ss
WP isn’t liking links.
Heh. I just love her to pieces, she is so LA. “Its like brain wrote something and brian got all offended and i had to calm crid down because he was like going ballistic and then they called me a tranny again and i was FORCED to delete posts…”
Someday soon I’ll probably meet her in the Ralph’s on Western Ave bitching about the mexican litters and bragging on her screenplay “Amy does Sadly Pathetic”. Everyone will ignore her as they do.
Thread win.
You know, whenever i write something sensitive and understanding like the above, all you so called “progressives ” pile on and call me a “concern troll”.
But since brad is okay with it, yes, i think the woman is deeply troubled and deserves our support and help. After all she isn’t squirting out children, and that’s a good thing.
Amy Alkon
[redacted] [redacted] Ave. #[redacted]
[redacted], CA [redacted] US
[note: the personal information above has been redacted –teh mgmt]
ahem, I am in fact having my nappy changed by GMan’s mommy.
amy is not ugly on the outside.
She’s ugly on the inside.
Bah, you guys are much nicer than Amy!
We’re ugly on the outside.
Doctorb said,
August 29, 2008 at 2:02
Okay, so I can’t really share a lot of the details, but back when I was in school I wasted a bunch of time with this guy who posted to this one newsgroup on USENET a lot, and he was crazy — like Time Cube crazy, real crazy stuff. …
Hey, remember Scott Abraham from rec.skiing.alpine? That dude took it to a new level.
So the thing is: (a) crazy internet people can do stuff to you in real life, sort of, and (b) it’s best to do your obnoxious stuff from a place that’s not paying you to work there, or something.
Yeah well, if you are at work you really should be working, that’s what you are getting paid for, right? I mean if you are running NOAA’s top secret satellites and Amy Alkon hacks your sh*t, you kinda f:cked up.
Kids today.
Thread win 2. Gotta love our Amy, she’s a ball buster a thespian and an author.
Amy is attacking people by contacting their ISPs, up to and including trying to crucify them by insinuating that she is being persecuted by comments.
Good thing I’m summering with my (successful and populist) attorney. He’s seriously pissed off. And that’s all I’ll say.
Except that Amy doesn’t seem to have a sense of humor.
You don’t get it, do you? She has to take time to delete and respond to all those comments! That is literally the same thing as stealing her television set! And you know there’s a lot of time involved, like choosing whether to call you a thug or a turd, and if “tiny thug” is really worth saying.
Plus there’s the bandwidth cost, which can exceed 0.8 cents per gigabyte! A thousand of those multi-page comments could cost more than a cent, and who pays for that? She does!
Good thing I’m summering with my (successful and populist) attorney. He’s seriously pissed off. And that’s all I’ll say.
Is he a tranny?
Does he have a really big chin, like something you’d see cowpushing on the front of an oldtimey steam locomotive? Does he always wear skintight twee from that oh-so-popular vintage clothing barn on Melrose? Does he hate children, especially catholic and negro children? Does he whine about mystery “mobs determined to intimidate and punish his free speech”? Does he have retard friends who collect dog sh*t in their front yards? Does he know Gary? Perhaps he IS Gary!
Seriously, whats with everyone getting “seriously pissed off” over internet forum comments?
Next we’ll all be hanging ourselves cuz someone was mean on our Myspace page.
The fact is, Amy was only up that late because I had to call her (from Europe, where I am) to talk about a project we’re pitching. It’s a book, tentatively titled The Fact Is … , in which we attempt to undo all the PC, socialist, mamby-pamby malarkey that pablum-puking liberals have been shoving down our throats for the last fifty years. She wasnt to call it Turds and the Tiny Fascist Turds that Turd Them Out but Regnery won’t publish something with a title that dumb and also that makes it sound like it’s literally about some kind of constipation problem. Plus, with the whole castor oil thing, people associate fascism with excessively voluminous and unctuous turds, not tiny ones. So anyway, we’re on the phone talking about turds, and suddenly she bursts into tears! I ask why, and it’s because someone she doesn’t know asked on her blog if she was a tranny (she’s not, believe me). “What are you going to do about it,” I asked, in the sense of “eh, what are you gonna do” than “what’s your plan to retaliate?” But she totally brightened up and was all “Hey! He typed in his email address! And if I know that … I can figure out what his email address is!” (again, it’s the middle of the night there and we’ve been arguing about overuse of the word “turd” for nearly an hour) So she calls the guy up on her other line — I suggest she should say “I’m watching you through the window” but she’s on a roll now — anyway the whole book conversation comes to a screeching halt (and I mean screeching).
So I think I’m going to be working on this book with Dr. Laura instead.
Your right to free speech does not mean you have a right to be right in discussion on my site. You do not have a right to bandwidth I pay for. You have a right to start a blog of your own and criticize me for ending a sentence it a preposition, as i did above, and I will rightly defend that right no matter what you write, as long as it is true and not libelous. (asking me if I am a tranny, for the 40th time, is libel)
My problem with Obama isn’t that he’s a black man, or a half black man, if you’re really counting, it’s that he’s a socialist!
Your ip is
IP address [?]: 140.90.2×3.x7 [Whois]
IP address country: ip address flag Commie
IP address state: Maryland
IP address city: Suitland
IP address latitude: 38.832401
IP address longitude: -76.908401
ISP of this IP [?]: Commie Sh:t
Organization: National Organizations of Commies
I called you up and made you cry.
Just a guess here, but I’m thinking more than one of Amy’s dates has ended in disaster when the guy found out she wasn’t, a tranny.
Hey Amy, as long as you’re here freely posting comments without risk of being banned (because SN isn’t threatened by comments) I’d like to know why you banned me. I made a reasonable and polite comment to which you responded and then discovered you’d banned me. You never provided an explanation. You seem to be banning anyone who reads SN regardless of what they say on your site. You hardly live up to your own policy.
Also, Ames, I’m surprised you’re not banning yourself repeatedly from your own site since you seem to breaking so many of your own rules.
For someone who cries foul about every dick, tom and harry that offends your delicate sensibilities, you are a hypocrite since you persist in making slanderous and untruthful remarks about SN.
Now we can say deleting comments is the Alkon Shield™
How many times must I explain, tiny turd? Your right to free speech does not mean you have a right to be right in discussion on my site. Plus I hate anyone named Lesley.
Hold yourself closer Tiny Turd,
And the thing is, I’m not so easy to pigeonhole as a conservative, but the reason these tiny thugs are discussion-ruiners here is that they aren’t interested in what I really think, and make that clear by ignoring, for example, when I explained that I don’t simply use “litter” in reference to black people but showed how I use it about rich white women and anyone who has lots of children.
For the record, I’m fiscally conservative and socially libertarian.
[…] nuts to Nietztche, I think I may have finally found my philosophical guru in the comments at Sadly No: Doctorb […]
i just love how her primary “i’m not racist!” excuse is that she hates catholics and muslims too.
Mars!
alkonholic said,
August 29, 2008 at 6:35
amy is not ugly on the outside.
She’s ugly on the inside.
Well, beauty is only skin deep.
But ugly goes straight to the bone.
Oh, my — I posted a comment at her site that her actions were more indicative of spleen than balls, and this morning I find that it was deleted and I’ve been banned from her site! This is a first for reasonable, civil me.
This has positively made my weekend. No one’s ever considered me dangerous before!
For the record, while you resist being pigeon-holed, you’ve done nothing but trash liberals and promote (neoconservative) Republicans. You also have an astounding ability to paint every SN reader (and liberal) with the same brush, regardless of how we’ve behaved on your site. Although you say you’re fair and open to comments you’ve banned those who’ve bent over backwards to be polite and civil along with the idiots who find juvenile glee in ridiculing your appearance and so on (something I don’t agree with). So you’re not very discriminating.
It’s also interesting how you, although you ban anyone who looks sideways at you, you drop in here periodically to call us all feces. If someone from here called you feces, you’d ban them because you have standards (or something).
In other words, although you won’t tolerate juvenile and insulting behaviour in your comment thread, you have no problem behaving like an asshole in here. You are free to do so, of course, since the SN operators aren’t threatened and don’t stay up nights fretting about comments. Well, they do draw a line at people who post IP addresses, names, and other personal information because that’s the mark of someone who hasn’t got a shred of decency or integrity.
And the thing is, I’m not so easy to pigeonhole as a conservative, but the reason these tiny thugs are discussion-ruiners here is that they aren’t interested in what I really think,
Is it possible that the reason for that is because your actual actions, such as obsessively chasing down someone who hurt your widdle fee-fees on the Internet and trying to get him fired, show you to be a shallow, vindictive shit of a person?
It may well be that nobody gives a crap about the thoughts of a human turd such as yourself, nomatter how glorious you believe them to be.
One of these Alkons is not like the other,
Which Alkin’s different, do you know…
as per
not that Amy would ever leave shitty commentary here like:
and
Strange how Amy thinks everything to the left of neoconservative Republican is communist or socialist. Kind of like neoconservative ignoramuses do. And she calls us liars?
Then there’s her narcissism:
and
How does she reconcile banning everyone from SN and simultaneously making efforts to court our attention?
> Hey, remember Scott Abraham from rec.skiing.alpine? That dude took it to a new level.
Cool to see some old-time Internet users here.
I might take the cake on being an old-timer. When I started using USENET there were only 95 newsgroups. I remember having to always find the route to mtuxo for bang-addressed email, because mtuxo was a gateway to everything else. This was in the days when domain addressing was just a dream.
The amount of times that Amy talks about turds, combined with her anal-obsessive compulsion to “get” people that she doesn’t agree with, indicates one thing.
She is stuck in the psychological development stage most people leave around the age of 4 or 5.
This MORE-THAN-OBVIOUS message has been brought to you by Kaopectate, freeing up stuck turds for 50 years.
I remember having to always find the route to mtuxo for bang-addressed email, because mtuxo was a gateway to everything else.
Ah, the days of navigating with a white cane and guide dog….remember them “Well”…
YOU PEOPLE ARE NOTHING MORE THAN SOCIALIST TRASH!
Is it time for my close up, Mr. DeMille?
STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!!!11!
From her “book” review:
It’s incredible that a man can give advice this sensitive. And it so belies “Amy”‘s internet persona.
I do not understand what foul mechanical shenanigans made “useless” the first of the Tag Suggestions though.
I like Amy Alkin. She’s much funnier than Amy Alkon.
All right you fascist little turds, I’ve had just about enough of … hey! Where’d everybody go? What? Sarah who? What’s up with her? What’d SHE ever do to get all of my attention? That fascist little turd bitch! Where’s her IP address? You don’t even want to KNOW what happened to the last bitch who stole attention from me! OH! She works for the GOVERNMENT, doe she? On my dime! What’s the damn area code for Alaska? That srsfls rafekcn facken raocunm himmersclimreas racken fraken ooooooo
Gavin, could we stop with the trans bashing? It’s really poor taste.
Hi, I found your site using yahoooo, does your site support firefox?
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