Nothing says Christmas like a profanity filled song

Given that it has been well established that conservatives love South Park, in addition to the fact that they hate all those who don’t love Christmas, we offer this version of South Park’s Bill O’Reilly’s Merry Fucking Christmas.

I heard there is no Christmas,
In the silly northeast
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus,
They have different religious beliefs
They believe in J.F. Kerry,
And not in our holiday
And so every December,
I go to the northeast and say…

Hey there liberals, Merry Fucking Christmas
Put down that book by Paul Krugman
and hear some holiday wishes
In case you haven’t noticed,
It’s Jesus’ Birthday
So get off you heathen lib’rul ass
And fucking celebrate.

There is no holiday season in Eye-raq I’ve heard
They don’t hang up their stockings,
and that is just absurd
They’ve never read The Corner,
they don’t know what a clashpoint is ’bout
And that’s why in December,
I’ll go to Eye-Raq and shout…

Hey there Mr. Qaeda, Merry Fucking Christmas
Drink Colt 45, eat some grits
and pass it to the Missus
In case you haven’t noticed,
It’s Jesus’ Birthday
So get off your freedom fighting ass,
And fucking celebrate.

Now I heard that in Key West,
Everyone just lives in sin
They play on several teams,
And do too much with tea bags
On December twenty-fifth
all they do is get a perm
and that is why I’ll go to Key West,
and walk around and say…

Hey there Mr Sodomist, Merry Fucking Christmas
God is gonna kick your ass
You abormal lifestyle enthusiast
In case you haven’t noticed,
There’s festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
and Merry Fucking Christmas to you.

On Christmas Day, I travel around the world and say
Lib’ruls, Muslims, Homos and ACLU too
Merry Fucking Christmas to you!

Thank you, Mr Hat.


Comments: 10


A Merry Fucking Christmas to all!

And may your New Fucking Year be full of felafels, loofahs, and hillbilly heroin!


God, I hate Americans. They can dumb up anything. I knew they’d get around to Christmas, sooner or later.


I wish not to imagine a world without the snark I love being here.

Happy Festivus to all!


I would pay money to see Loofah Boyo’Reilly wear a santa hat, strum a guitar and sing that on the Faux News Channel on Christmas morning.

Happy Yuletide to you.


Here’s wishing you an unrepentant lberal Amsterdam holiday, Seb, for all the yucks & brilliance your pie-plate hat emanated the past year. Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones.


Watch out — Krampus may still be skulking around.


I hope your Weihnachten was froehlich, even with the idiots who forget the real meaning of the season: an increase in same-store sales.


And have a happy Woodland Critter Christmas, too!

Hail Satan!

Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel

Key West? Does this lyricist think that residents and visitors of the Conch Republic practice their so-called “self-centered hedonism” in the streets, scaring the tourists debarking from their cruise ships?

No, a thousand times no!

The Biscuitbarrel family passed a happy and Xmas-free week in Key West, ignoring this religious holiday as usual, as it is utterly incompatible with our religious faith.

We do, however, say the appropriate Hebrew blessing over Key Lime pie daily, wherever we eat in Key West.

A happy new year to Sadly, No! and all your readers.

Tenderly yours, Mrs. B


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