Oh David, we feel that way too!
(8) All I want for Christmas is you! (8)
WorldNetDaily’s David Kupelian has a special message for us:
I don’t do this very often, but I’m going to do it now. I’ll make it short and, I hope, sweet.
Oh David — we thought you’d never ask!
If you’re a loyal WorldNetDaily reader, one who trusts and relies on WND for your daily news, then you …
Then you what? Can you guess?
Why? I could give you lots of reasons.
9/11?
This appeal would be easier if I could just take you on a tour of WorldNetDaily’s operation and share with you the enormous amount of work our dedicated staff performs to bring you two editions of WND daily.
It takes a lot of aluminum foil to run a big ship like WND.
If I could convey to you the tireless and inspired leadership of our CEO Joseph Farah, and if I described the endless sacrifices, difficulties, attacks and trials we constantly encounter on seemingly every side, my appeal would be more emotionally compelling.
Those damn sarcastic French Canadians — mocking you with their big words and loose grasp of the English rules of syntax and grammar. Sons of bitches!
I know how easy it is to mentally move on, click the mouse, and go to the next story and forget this message
It’s even easier when you’re not there mentally at all, David! [The comma in that sentence brought to you by John of Supertrevligt. It’s not just regular trevligt anymore, it’s Super Trevligt!?)
but I’m hoping you won’t, because we need you, just as you need us.
Hmm, seems David copied from an earlier post of ours (and/or Homer Simpson.)
We give everything we’ve got to you ? and when you in turn give to us, the cycle is complete[.] [Emphasis added.]
Hakuna Matata?
I don’t believe in begging, but I am appealing to both your conscience and your self-interest.
Right, this reminds us of something:
KRAMER: Now what does the little man inside you say? See you gotta listen to the little man.
GEORGE: My little man doesn’t know.
KRAMER: The little man knows all.
GEORGE: My little man’s an idiot.
PS: Bonus totally unrelated issue points: our new work environment reminds us of something about this Seinfeld episode. Can you guess which one?
It could be that you’re surrounded by a staff composed entirely of large-breasted women. But I might be thinking of “Da Honger.”
I was going to send a donation to help feed the refugees in Darfur, but WND provides me with way more amusement value.
Also, does anybody else think that David Kupelian looks like a zombie John Derbyshire?
“Zombie John Derbyshire”? That’s redundant.
WND going down the tubes???
Will this be the end of whining, neo-conservative fucktards???
Tune in tomorrow for a very special almost-Christmas edition of World Net Daily!!!
(Now with more buttery taste!—MMM!)
WND is full of high wind and hot air. Gives my hair the frizzes. Never read their stuff unless through a link here. And then I make sure that the computer screen is coated with layers of olive oil, mayonnaise and avocado.
mmm, gaucamole AND WND is already sounding better……
You believe in god for the bad things!
(hence, this purgatory of ‘letting’ Da Honger take over things until we drop into the real hell of, say, the Hottest New Writer for WND!)
Just send me antoher bad check , you bastard!
I figure they should get payment equivalent to the quality of their work, but I doubt UPS will accept a box full of faeces…
Somebody stole your box of raisins?
You’re surrounded by people with discolorations on their lips?
You’re eventually going to date and NBC exec and accidentally kill her with toxic glue on the wedding invitations all while secretly trying to date Marisa Tomei?
Your recent “change in job” and “move” relate to your unfortunate lack of scooter insurance, leading to your new job as Dieter’s bathroom monkey?
Or am I sending mexed missages again?
my appeal would be more emotionally compelling.
It appears he went to the Vulcan School of Melodrama.
I’m humbled. Not as nice as it sounds.
But “Super trevligt” (Swedish being one of those aggregating languages, like German) actually means “to drink to excess in a nice way”, which is fine, but not the cuddly sweet name of my web site.
Look for English-language blogging to begin over there around mid-January. Time to expose the Swedish wingnuts to the world.
And am I the only one that thinks that Da Honger was the guys actual, given name, rather than some faux gangsta affectation?
Yes John, yes you are.
Maybe it’s actually D.A. Honger. As a prosecutor, he’s tough-as-nails, but when you get to know him, his heart is as soft as guacamole.
They’ve spent so much of their budget on beef jerky and ding-dongs, they finally realized they wouldn’t be able to pay off their fatwa against Janeane Garofalo.
Last name maybe?
Da Honger was slang for “the honger” hong was his middle name…….