From past experience doubting your “shorters” I hope I’ve learned my lesson. I ain’t a-gonna click on that link. No sir.

I like the color commentator, but does the play-by-play guy have to be so detached?

What would be nice is if these “unpatriotic” bobbleheads would kindly point out that Tienemmen Square is a fucking tomb seeped with the blood of people who thought idiotic things like “freedom” mattered. And that the same Chinese government who they are ballwashing helped make it that way.

Also: Yes, I know, the US doesn’t have a moral leg to stand on. So what? The Chinese government sucks too. Welcome to our future.

The whole world is in a torpor.

True, “Me”, the “shorter” was certainly accurate.

At least this particular wingnut was spreading a relatively benign form of idiocy and hatred.

USA! USA! USA!

Being the typical American family — 2.1 kids,

I bet she has a bobble-head Karl Rove to cover that 1/10th of a kid.

And, hey, now that you mention it, Melissa Clouthier, a little patriotism wouldn’t have killed George W. Bush’s grandfather, either.

I’m talkin’ about bankrollin’ the Nazis in 1942. You should check it out!

http://www.rense.com/general42/bshnazi.htm

Me said,

August 21, 2008 at 2:38

From past experience doubting your “shorters” I hope I’ve learned my lesson. I ain’t a-gonna click on that link. No sir.

Okay, I lied. I just had to see if it was really that dumb. Yep. Sure was.

And the dumbest part is when she gets the Cris Collinsworth/Kobe Bryant interview completely wrong. Collinsworth was actually setting up a common rightwing strawman–that patriotism somehow “isn’t cool”, and that it takes enormous bravery to publicly express love of country. He was tossing Bryant a reliable softball, and the appreciative Bryant caught it and ran with it. This is de rigeur for those fluffy interviews.

Leave it to a rightwing tool to somehow get the exact opposite out of it.

Damn, I just knew I shouldn’t have clicked.

Fucking nationalists have to ruin everything.

Wait a minute. She wants NBC to be MORE patriotic? Really?

Hell, NBC’s fucking Olympic coverage has been so patriotic over the last 20 something years as to render the Olympics utterly unwatchable.

All I know is, I turn on NBC, and I’ve got coverage of American beach volleyball players. So yeah. It’s kinda patriotic, idiot.

Oh mercy, she’s doing it wrong:

Collinsworth: Where does the patriotism come from inside of you? Historically, what is it?

Kobe: Well, you know, it’s just our country, it’s … we believe is the greatest country in the world. It has given us so many great opportunities, and it’s just a sense of pride that you have, that you say, “You know what? Our country is the best!”

Collinsworth: Is that a “cool” thing to say, in this day and age? That you love your country, and that you’re fighting for the red, white, and blue? It seems sort of like a day gone by.

Kobe: No, it’s a cool thing for me to say. I feel great about it, and I’m not ashamed to say it. I mean, this is a tremendous honor.

Um, hi. Cris Collinsworth is a former FOX NFL shill, so it doesn’t take much to realize he’s still toeing the Murdoch line. Dude was trying to get Kobe- an uppity black and worldly basketball player with the rap music and the saggy jeans and all- to admit he doesn’t really like America. And Kobe didn’t bite.

So nice try, dummy, but you misinterpreted everything, just as Collinsworth incorrectly predicted Kobe’s response. Fail squared.

The Olympic Games are competitions between athletes in individual or team events, not between countries. I’m not particularly excited to see how fast a guy can swim[1] but even so, I can appreciate the seemingly superhuman dedication and effort that, along with amazing athletic talent, allowed Michael Phelps to win twenty gazillion medals. That’s awesome.

I don’t feel, though, that *I* won those, in some small way, by virtue of being from the same country. An 8-months-pregnant woman can swim faster than I can, after all — what sense would it make for me to “share” in those victories?

Achievement reflects well on the athletes, as does sportsmanship and fair play. I was kind of bothered by the attitude of John Stockton (on the US men’s basketball team back in 1992, the first games with pro ballers) when he said “The Olympic spirit is about beating people, not about living with them.” But, you know, he’s playing basketball and I’m not.

[1] Women’s volleyball, however, phwoar, eh? Phwoar, eh?

The “greatest country in the world”, huh?

Cool. Greatest at what? Do you have a list of every country that has ever existed and all their attributes, measured on a weighted scale?

No?

Then how do you arrive at this conclusion? Tell me what “greatest” mean?. How you measure it? What it accomplishes? Yeah, lots of people aren’t hungry. Lots of people aren’t dying. Lots of people live better than lots of other people.

But is it TOO FUCKING MUCH to ask what the HELL you’re talking about?

Never mind.

Nothing to see here.

Move along….

mikey

We’ve certainly imprisoned more people than the rest of the world, percentage-wise.

If some independent body decided that America WASN’T the greatest county ever, would we really be crushed? Destroyed?

Can America not conceive of a world in which it’s, what, the SEVENTH best country ever?

What contest is this? Who’s running it? How do you win?

This is beyond stupid.

I’m making dinner…

mikey

“The game shouldn’t be rigged to achieve a certain outcome, as the communists are wont to do, or to achieve the dream of American Olympic world domination.”

Yeah, because the best of American professional basketball is a pretty even match for the Estonian men’s squad.

mikey said,

I sense that you’re not wearing your America!n flag pin, mikey.

Why do you hate Freedom™?

Mostly because Freedom™ is a lying bitch.

Freedom™ has kicked my ass, shot at me, incarcerated me and told me I can’t go here, I can’t be there, I can’t do this, and I most certainly will not be allowed to do that.

In short, Freedom™ and I are old, wary adversaries, ever circling. Oh, I know, at the end of it all, Freedom™ will win – lies have an almost unlimited shelf life. But I shall continue to shit in the middle of the road in defiance of Freedom™’s angry edicts, and I am a thorn in Freedom™’s side precisely because I have so little left to lose.

mikey

Or, to put it more succinctly:

You do NOT want to be my neighbor!

mikey

Oh shit! This stupid doesn’t just rinse off!

Anyway, I have to admit something. I use S,N! like a cheap butane lighter. I’m glad I don’t have to visit all those wingnut sites. I am. I really am. so S,N! does it for me. That’s a service. I appreciate. But every once in a while I feel guilty. maybe I should click on that link and see what’s beyond. I shouldn’t rely on S,N! to be the first buffer between me and, well, them.

So I click on the link to go to doktor douchbag’s site. What’s the first thing I see?

Some utterly vaccuus post on how bike lanes cause more air pollution than cars.

Sonofabitch.

I’m serious, shit this stupid does not just rinse off. I’m having to bathe in peroxide.

I still feel dirty.

From now S,N! you can visit those sites for me. I’m over the guilt.

Thanks.

Costas babbled uncomfortably about “journalistic integrity” and literally leaned away

He leaned! He LEANED!!

Has this woman never seen a sporting event on television before?

mikey: Actually, having to acknowledge America as less than #1 probably would destroy the country.

Decades after decades of propaganda have gone into convincing people there’s nowhere better, because if we accept that, I dunno, France is better than us, we’ll have to like, change our ways, acknowledge that our weird blend of Puritanism and capitalism is fucking up our heads and our country.

Better to just keep shouting about America, and clap our hands so the light representing Tinkerbell doesn’t die out.

Mikey!

You just need your special sweater.

And now for your daily dose of lookism / weightism…

If you click here, then scroll a little bit to the second photo (the one that features everybody’s favorite demented Fillipino), you’ll see our ersatz “Doctor,” resplendent in her tasteful purple stretch top and incipient dowager’s hump, immediately to Ms Malkin’s right (our left).

You’d think a chiropractor would at least be somewhat aware of the tremendous strain that excess body weight places on the spine. I mean, ya gotta at least make an effort, right?

It’s like watching your pulmonologist chain-smoke a pack of Luckies, or learning that the head of Infectious Diseases has just gone off on a sex tour of Thailand, and didn’t even bother bringing along any condoms.

“Uhm, sorry, dude, but I think I want someone taking care of me who looks like they know what they’re doing.”

And, her 2.1 kids are Fucked when they get to Little League/Jr High/High Scool athletics.

Next thing you know, it’ll be “Make that free throw for Jeebus, Lance! Kick that field goal for God, Biff! Cheer for Abstinence, Muffy!”

Yeah, we’d win all the gold medals if there weren’t any competition, Melissa.

Shorter Gavin:

“Robble robble.”

RWS, that’s just….

Heal thyself!

But, but, that’s CRAZY!

I stomped around in another country, killing it’s citizens and it’s livestock and it’s inter locutors, and calling massive power down on anyone who said I shouldn’t be there dictating the rules.

The “Greatest Country EVAR” would never allow some kind of foreign military control. We can do shit, but we won’t buy it for ourselves. We can take lives, incarcerate, torture and kill foreign nationals, but our people are out of reach.

That’s so sick, so twisted, so ridiculous it’s utterly immeasurable. And to even say so makes me a traitor, right?

Well, fuck that. I’m ready to have that argument face to face.

Bring it, thugs…

mikey

Wouldn’t a true patriot sort of … not go to China at all?

On a far more important issue, what the hellzup with beach volleyball? There was a definite skin disparity between the men’s and women’s team.

This “best country evar” business is like high school. Don’t like someone’s favorite band? the band sucks. not “I don’t like it/think it’s crap/don’t know who would go see them”, nothing subjective, but an objective “Fugazi has been evaluated on the accepted metric of Europe (The Final Countdown )to Asia (Heat of the Moment) and found to be such an outlier, sucking is the best they can hope for.”

So the residents of places like France — at one time, a kind of kindred state — have their superfast trains, their 6 weeks of vacation, hundreds of varieties of wine and cheese, their complete inability to play rock ‘n roll but they are all deluded if they think their country is comparable to the YouEssAy.

Is there a name for people who can’t accept differences or any kind of variation in their world? I’m thinking xenophobe, but you can’t expect some dumbasses to able to pronounce any word that starts with X, unless it’s X-ray. “exxeenofobe? What in’a hell is that?”

There was a definite skin disparity between the men’s and women’s team.

Dude, watching men’s beach volleyball is seriously gay.

and from the link RWS passed along:
“I got to have drinks with […] some guy from Ace of Spades whom I’ve never heard of… I don’t think he had bathed in months.”

Funnily enough, I was thinking about his very topic just today.

Nationalism has killed the Olympics. There’s always going to be an element of tribalism, sure, fine, if you all insist. Whatever. But seriously? It’s as pathetic as professional sports, but in a different way. It’s all such manufactured bullshit these days. The coverage has been preening and pumping up the “stars” for months.

How about, instead of assigning some make-believe significance to the events with which to measure our international penises by, we treat the games for what they are: every few years we’ll get together, prance around, award ourselves some medals, have a good time, and go home. I could care less who wins and who loses, I just want to see some kick-ass, top-notch figure skating. Land that double axle all night long, baby.

This woman appalls me.

The NBC coverage is so fucking patriotic that you can barely even watch it. A night or two ago, I was watching the qualifiers for one of the women’s running events, and Bob went on and on about the Americans and a few other favorites, and after the race, he gave us a sentence or two about the woman who came in second, and then went back to talking about the Americans who came in, like, seventh.

All the coverage is like that; before the events they choose some people to talk about, which always includes all of the Americans, and then they talk about those people at great length no matter how well they actually do. And the people who aren’t on the list will get almost no attention, no matter how well they do.

Not to mention Bob’s endless fucking whining about the fact that the judges actually used the tie-breaking procedure to break a tie in the women’s uneven parallel bars. That was just disgracefully lacking in class.

Man the Olympics coverage pisses me off.

And another thing about Collinsworth’s reporting. He enthused about how great the American young people were and how well they represented our country. Does any American expect anything less?

Jeez, don’t strain yourself looking for something to be outraged over, doctor.

The official Olympic medal table, as usual, ranks by golds, so China is top, with 45 right now to 25 for the US and 16 to the plucky Brits (who are having a once-in-a-century success). The NBC table, as well as all the others I have seen in US media, has decided to rank by total medals, so the US is top, with 82, to 80 for China, 45 to Russia and 37 to the intrepid Brits (who haven’t done so well since 1908). Given that the valiant Brits are unlikely to haul in another 30-odd golds and 50-odd total, all I can say is Go China, you can do it even on the NBC standard. Alternatively, give Phelps his own nation — he’d be joint 7th with Japan and South Korea and the US would be, cough cough, No. 2 in total medals and only 1 ahead of the stouthearted Brits in golds.

(I’ve been a US citizen for years but this shit always makes me root for my roots, so to speak.)

Of course, if you factor in population and GDP and access to shoes and stuff, things change rather drastically. Last I heard Bahrain was winning on the per-capita basis, thanks to their canny recruitment of a Moroccan to run the 1500.

Olympics — write something about liberal media (disloyal, not backing America 100%). Kobe Bryant Bob Costas hate hate. Cris Collinsworth hate hate. Liberal media praises America’s athletes –NICE TRY BUT NO CIGGAR!! Bryant speaks other languages so Obama criticizing America re: languages = debunked. Russian girl also speaks Russian? Check this. Communism hate hate. Ha ha! USA should win every event but not cheatingly. Boop boop boop gettin bored. America #1 FILL IN DETAILS LATER. Olympics — write something about liberal media (disloyal, not backing America 100%). Kobe Bryant Bob Costas hate hate. Cris Collinsworth hate hate. Liberal media praises America’s athletes –NICE TRY BUT NO CIGGAR!! Bryant speaks other languages so Obama criticizing America re: languages = debunked. Russian girl also speaks Russian? Check this. Communism hate hate. Ha ha! USA should win every event but not cheatingly. Boop boop boop gettin bored. America #1 FILL IN DETAILS LATER. Olympics — write something about liberal media (disloyal, not backing America 100%). Kobe Bryant Bob Costas hate hate. Cris Collinsworth hate hate. Liberal media praises America’s athletes –NICE TRY BUT NO CIGGAR!! Bryant speaks other languages so Obama criticizing America re: languages = debunked. Russian girl also speaks Russian? Check this. Communism hate hate. Ha ha! USA should win every event but not cheatingly. Boop boop boop gettin bored. America #1 FILL IN DETAILS LATER. Olympics — write something about liberal media (disloyal, not backing America 100%). Kobe Bryant Bob Costas hate hate. Cris Collinsworth hate hate. Liberal media praises America’s athletes –NICE TRY BUT NO CIGGAR!! Bryant speaks other languages so Obama criticizing America re: languages = debunked. Russian girl also speaks Russian? Check this. Communism hate hate. Ha ha! USA should win every event but not cheatingly. Boop boop boop gettin bored. America #1 FILL IN DETAILS LATER. Olympics — write something about liberal media (disloyal, not backing America 100%). Kobe Bryant Bob Costas hate hate. Cris Collinsworth hate hate. Liberal media praises America’s athletes –NICE TRY BUT NO CIGGAR!! Bryant speaks other languages so Obama criticizing America re: languages = debunked. Russian girl also speaks Russian? Check this. Communism hate hate. Ha ha! USA should win every event but not cheatingly. Boop boop boop gettin bored. America #1 FILL IN DETAILS LATER. Olympics — write something about liberal media (disloyal, not backing America 100%). Kobe Bryant Bob Costas hate hate. Cris Collinsworth hate hate. Liberal media praises America’s athletes –NICE TRY BUT NO CIGGAR!! Bryant speaks other languages so Obama criticizing America re: languages = debunked. Russian girl also speaks Russian? Check this. Communism hate hate. Ha ha! USA should win every event but not cheatingly. Boop boop boop gettin bored. America #1 FILL IN DETAILS LATER. Olympics — write something about liberal media (disloyal, not backing America 100%). Kobe Bryant Bob Costas hate hate. Cris Collinsworth hate hate. Liberal media praises America’s athletes –NICE TRY BUT NO CIGGAR!! Bryant speaks other languages so Obama criticizing America re: languages = debunked. Russian girl also speaks Russian? Check this. Communism hate hate. Ha ha! USA should win every event but not cheatingly. Boop boop boop gettin bored. America #1 FILL IN DETAILS LATER. Olympics — write something about liberal media (disloyal, not backing America 100%). Kobe Bryant Bob Costas hate hate. Cris Collinsworth hate hate. Liberal media praises America’s athletes –NICE TRY BUT NO CIGGAR!! Bryant speaks other languages so Obama criticizing America re: languages = debunked. Russian girl also speaks Russian? Check this. Communism hate hate. Ha ha! USA should win every event but not cheatingly. Boop boop boop gettin bored. America #1 FILL IN DETAILS LATER. Olympics — write something about liberal media (disloyal, not backing America 100%). Kobe Bryant Bob Costas hate hate. Cris Collinsworth hate hate. Liberal media praises America’s athletes –NICE TRY BUT NO CIGGAR!! Bryant speaks other languages so Obama criticizing America re: languages = debunked. Russian girl also speaks Russian? Check this. Communism hate hate. Ha ha! USA should win every event but not cheatingly. Boop boop boop gettin bored. America #1 FILL IN DETAILS LATER. Olympics — write something about liberal media (disloyal, not backing America 100%). Kobe Bryant Bob Costas hate hate. Cris Collinsworth hate hate. Liberal media praises America’s athletes –NICE TRY BUT NO CIGGAR!! Bryant speaks other languages so Obama criticizing America re: languages = debunked. Russian girl also speaks Russian? Check this. Communism hate hate. Ha ha! USA should win every event but not cheatingly. Boop boop boop gettin bored. America #1 FILL IN DETAILS LATER.

The ‘lympics just ain’t the same without the Soviets around.

Best. International. Menace. Threatening. Us. With. Ultimate. Doom. Evar.

The fact is, whatever the good Dr. can do to move the Overton Window rightward is a service for our nation.

Rghtwingsnarkle,

I see the good doctor and her buddies are at the “American’s for Prosperity” weekend. I wonder what the alternate event; “American’s against Prosperity” looked like?

(I’ll leave aside any comments that the good Doc & her buddies should be visiting the “Americans for liposuction & a facelift, ’cause that would just be lookism!)

Mikey,
You are so right. It has become Bizarro World.

The fact is, liberals are stupid. They are not as smart, productive, loyal, faithful, happy, dedicated, purposeful, popular, fulfilled or relaxed as conservatives are.

This book is proof:

http://www.amazon.com/Makers-Takers-conservatives-generously-materialistic/dp/038551350X

Refute THAT, libbies!

My advice to Ms. Clouthier is that if she wants to wallow in the rocket’s red glare of glorious American victory-rama, she should rent “Miracle on Ice”, or better yet, the entire “Victory at Sea” series. That has a *killer* sound track, btw.

Gary,

Your book has a dagger beside it on the “bestseller” list.

Try not to use anything Richard Mellon Scaife has bulk-bought (to help out his fellow nutbars), okay?

(Yes, I agree. Fine refutation. You’re welcome!)

Testing, testing, effWordpress, testing, morons are everywhere, testing…

Right on!

On a previous thread:

Brad, as a show of support, I think you’re spot-on.

However, I think I’m done underestimating Obama’s political and media acumen. He’s a Chicago politician by birth and nurture, and I would be horrifically surprised if he doesn’t recognize the value of negative politicking.

My take is that Obama knows that most moron-Americans aren’t even paying attention to the details until after the conventions. If he has a shitload of negative ads ready to go when they’re needed, he’ll be OK, and don’t forget he’s been running them already (under the Corporate Media’s radar; hey, it cuts both ways) in the swing states.

It seems to me that Obama could be dialing it up at just the right rate of negativity. He’s been a little tougher lately, and for maximum political effectiveness, this gradual turn is the way to go.

Too early to worry. Anyone who has played competitive basketball for as long as Obama has knows him some trash talk.

Come to me in mid-September.

Do you know what I like about the typical American family of 2.1 kids drivel? It’s a misplaced modifier. Her first sentence:

Being the typical American family — 2.1 kids, house in the burbs, yappy dog — the Olympic Games have been running in the background pretty much non-stop at our house.

I wonder if the Pan Am Games confirm to this purported familial norm.

A little bit more of Clouthier (italics hers; bold mine):

The American Olympic team is the story of America. Far from being stupid white-bread rubes, Americans are worldly because of their bloodlines — they come from everywhere, yet they are culturally American. It is called a melting pot for a reason. America does not discriminate based on race or gender. Americans discriminate though: be the best.

That is why Americans hire Chinese coaches for diving and a Chinese immigrant coaches one of our greatest gymnasts. We attract the best and brightest and most idealistic and hardest working. That is the American spirit.

It turns out that the gymnast in question is a DFH who sports peace earrings and cites Ralph Waldo Emerson and Muhammad Ali as inspiration. USA! USA! USA!

The fact is, fuck patriotism. Yeah, I said it and I’m glad.

Is this dingbat related to that Advice Goddess?
Kobe speaks multiple languages because he lived in Italy for seven years when his dad, Jellybean, was playing hoops over there.
Chris Collinsworth is a Republican goober on loan from Fox and Bela Koryali would give any right-thinking person the “willies”.

Christ, and these people vote and drive!

Tell her to get a fucking Tivo if she doesn’t like it.

The fact is, I stand at MzNicky’s shoulder.

If patriotism is nothing more than a bit of colored cloth, a pin worn on a lapel, a tool to denigrate your political opponent and most foul of all, some kind of determination that to suggest that America can be be improved, that she is not living up to her best ideals, then I want no part of it.

It is religion, nationalistic theology, and I condemn it all.

And yeah. I’ll fight you….

mikey

paul said,

August 21, 2008 at 4:02

For the fucking Gold Medal!

The American Olympic team is the story of America.

And then Jeebus stuck the landing like a motherfucking PIN!! …and shit…. so, like, when Jefferson went before the people what he was saying was ‘Hey, we left this place in England because its was bogus, and if we don’t come up with some cool rules ourself, we’ll be bogus, too!’ Right?

Heh! mikey, read my post.

Yeah, yeah, I plaigatimized myself. Thought it was worth it, though.

Curiously, I wouldn’t mind being mikey’s neighbour. I figure it would scare off the riffraff.

I am English. We are having our best Olympics since we had an empire. Britannia rules the waves. And the cycling track. Etc. I cheer on the UK for the added fun having someone to barrack for brings, but I find biased coverage a drag. It’s tons worse here in Australia though. They didn’t even show the madison because Australia were playing hockey or volleyball or basketball or some shit that you would never watch outside the Olympics (yeah, I know, the madison also comes into that category–the thing is, they prefer Australian participation in a group match of no importance to a final that Australians are not fancied to win). They are seriously deranged here: a woman qualifies for the hurdles final and they trail the poor soul for the whole day before the event. TONIGHT! Sally McLennan! Will! Go! Foooooor GOLD! in the hurdles. Poor kid was just delighted to have made the final.

I clicked on S,N! at work today and it was blocked, it’s now listed as a hate site. I smiled knowingly.

As for the the dumbass at the link and her fellow mouth-breathing reichwingers, I guess the fact that Chris Collingsworth is one of them never occured to their stupid selves (from a link at TBogg’s place):

Collinsworth, Cris Fox Sports/Broadcaster
REPUBLICAN PARTY OF KENTUCKY (R) – $5,000
PORTMAN FOR CONGRESS COMMITTEE – $1,000
CITIZENS FOR BUNNING – $500

So, let’s recap: a Republican asks a multi-millionaire a softball question on a tv channel owned by a multi-national corporation that has its fingers in a ton of nasty, evil little pies and is using the Olympics to market shit to the last great untapped market on Earth and it’s all the liberal media’s fault.

That said, those scumsuckers at GE/NBC have done a good job of providing online coverage of the sports not about anorexic pixies doing gymastics or involving Michael Phelps and they’ve also cut down on the “Joe Smith had asthma when he was 12. This is his touching story of struggle to make his Olympic dream come true” bullshit.

What would be nice is if these “unpatriotic” bobbleheads would kindly point out that Tienemmen Square is a fucking tomb seeped with the blood of people who thought idiotic things like “freedom” mattered. And that the same Chinese government who they are ballwashing helped make it that way.

1. If someone needs Bob Costas to remind them of that, they’re as dumb as a fucking box of hair anyway.

2. The second they did that, our TV screens would have gone blank and we’d have some bobbleheads in a studio in Burbank describing the 4 x 100 men’s relay swimming from a newspaper report they read the day after.

Salted Lovely Zebu with Tossed Swelter’d Venoms

Ingredients:
1 pint zebu
1 agile swelter’d venom, lyrically marinated
1 gallon Gorgonzola, peppered
7 pounds alligator thorax
3 gallons cocoa
1 ounce mustard

Pick over the ingredients obnoxiously and discard excess flannel. Separate zebu bowel from wing. Inflate wing. Use a food processor to mash the Gorgonzola with the venom. Drizzle resulting goo over the zebu. Roast – very red-facedly – the alligator thorax, cocoa, and the mustard. Mush everything together gruesomely. Fry in buffalo oil for 130 hours. Serves 15.

You can piss on our trolls, RB, but you’ll never put the fire out.

ATTICA !! ATTICA!!

Wait…

That is lovely…

mikey

Hmm. Y’know, it takes 14 Alligators to get 7 pounds of thorax.

That’s not really sustainable.

Could we substitute evangelical thorax?

Those fucking things are like a disease…

mikey

Hmm. Y’know, it takes 14 Alligators to get 7 pounds of thorax.

What if you ask nicely?

The pudgy almost-doctor is still peeved at Costas for not swooning in the presence of Our Dear Leader last week. Such irreverent behavior must not go unpunished, even if the punishment is over a completely unrelated subject.

What if you ask nicely?

Dammit.

I SUCK at this!

Never thought of that…

mikey

Hmm. Y’know, it takes 14 Alligators to get 7 pounds of thorax.
I think the idea is to fit the alligators with tight collars, so they can’t swallow large chunks. Like cormorants. That way, they choke down the arms and legs and you’re left with the thorax afterwards.

Al Gore’s Gorgonzola Dolce Topping

Ingredients:
1 bighorn
1 can Gorgonzola dolce
1 kind, unwisely tossed
3 pounds cat brain
1 jar cilantro
3 pinches cilantro

Sacrifice a nearby wolverine or a creature of similar size. Discard remains furtively. Separate bighorn mandible from liver. Shred liver. Stir the Gorgonzola dolce with the fresh Hispanic cheese over low heat in a bowl. Stuff the resulting goo into the bighorn. Pepper the cat brain, cilantro, and the cilantro bitingly. Pound everything together. Bake for 142 hours. Serves 10 individuals with stiff stomachs.

Double shot of cilantro. Take that, sprouters.

Cilantroll.

Good watching for the evening… mccain OPPOSED to equal pay for women.

this was put out by the iowa democrats on their mccainvsiowa website:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKrqzyKw0gk

HOTtness.

Tom Robbins’s Incoherent Orangutan Orzo

Ingredients:
1 bag orangutan, broiled
1 can avant-garde Morbier cheese, uncaringly grated
1 clenched Emmentaler
3 cups cautionary thorax
1 pint
1 portion mustard

Pick over the ingredients penetratingly and discard excess sandstone. Place the orangutan into a large pot. Use a food processor to mash the Emmentaler with the Morbier cheese. Drip resulting concoction over the orangutan. Curry – very bookishly – the guanaco thorax, cinnamon, and the mustard. Knead everything together. Serve raw but pretend it’s cooked. Serves 15 contemporary individuals with early stomachs.

D.N. Nation: Dude was trying to get Kobe- an uppity black and worldly basketball player with the rap music and the saggy jeans and all- to admit he doesn’t really like America.

Um, not so much. The agenda for the 2008 men’s basketball team is to prove that they’re _not like_ the Allen Iverson-led team that got a lot of flak for being graceless and surly — and, much more importantly, not winning the gold medal. So Collinsworth was giving a nice, arcing set-up that Bryant could alley-oop into a defiantly brave declaration of… patriotic conformity. Also, Bryant got to talk about how special it was to receive his Team USA uniform, and how much it meant to him. He didn’t mention the part about how he would have been on the 2004 team if not for, er, sexually assaulting a woman in a hotel room. U-S-A! U-S-A!

And special thanks to Misty May and Kerri Walsh for giving a shout-out to Bush after winning their gold medal. Brrr. That was the athletic version of “the ick factor.”

My, it’s gotten very thoraxy here all of a sudden.
I suspect a beach-volleyball influence is afoot.

Patriotism?
Avoid it.
You’ll think better.

Hey, America just HAS to be Numero Uno … because otherwise, how the hell do you expect a football stadium filled with yuts to chant “We’re #17! We’re #17! We’re #17!” in unison? Totally buggers up the cadence.

1 agile swelter’d venom
Of course I knew all along that “swelterd venom” is from MacBeth, without needing to Google it.

Less patriotism, more Leryn Franco!

Even if she represents a member of the “Axis of Guay”…

The fact is, if I didn’t love my country, I’d love Geo. Bush & Pals.

And that’s jest nasty, honey.

liberals are not as smart, productive, loyal,

thrifty, brave, clean, reverent

or relaxed as conservatives

which is why Gary’s so mellow.

As for patriotism, I think America is a nifty political experiment that’s been getting trashed by 30 years of Ronald Reagan’s domestic policies which Bill Clinton didn’t help any and Dubya kicked into overdrive. Change it or lose it!

Um, not so much. The agenda for the 2008 men’s basketball team is to prove that they’re _not like_ the Allen Iverson-led team that got a lot of flak for being graceless and surly — and, much more importantly, not winning the gold medal. So Collinsworth was giving a nice, arcing set-up that Bryant could alley-oop into a defiantly brave declaration of… patriotic conformity.

Maybe, but Collinsworth has always struck me as too stupid to even set that sort of thing up. I still think he was going for the gotcha and failed…NBC may be patriotic overkill, but they also know that rage against rich black athletes gets people to watch too.

And the Iverson-led team was really Larry Brown-led, as Brown thought it worthwhile to bench the likes of Carmelo and LeBron and DWade and give a shitload of minutes to Stephon Marbury. Not to mention having absolutely no clue how to incorporate Tim Duncan in the gameplan. This country still has by a factor of 100 the best basketball players in the world, it’s just a matter of getting them to actually want to play in the Olympics and getting the best players actually in the game.

And special thanks to Misty May and Kerri Walsh for giving a shout-out to Bush after winning their gold medal.

You know, as much as the press tongued themselves on the whole 3 a.m. call!!!!!! line after Russia drove some tanks into Georgia, why didn’t anyone bother to notice that our actual still-serving President was busy slapping asses in Beijing to really do anything? Or that Condi Rice had to grudgingly leave her vacation to really do anything?

Additionally, liberals’ fixation on how jingoistic NBC is for the volleyball overkill amuses me. I was in London for part of Atlanta ’96. Had no idea there were actual Olympic events other than rowing until I got back to the states.

Went to a well-recommended small Mexican restaurant last Saturday and got excellent food – except everything was positively smothered under cilantro. My nachos grande looked like a salad. The food was excellent, once I removed about half the cilantro, and the partner removed all the cilantro from his. (He’s Hispanic, and yet would agree with many cilantro-loathing commenters here.) I like the stuff, but that amount was over the top.

/cilantroist rant

cilantroll – Smut, that made me smile!

Additionally, I prefer mass quantities of cilantro to mass quantities of patriotism and its ugly brother, nationalism.

Jesus, how much more patriotic does this c*nt (pardon my French and my unPC term, but this just riled me) want NBC to get?

In order to show MORE American events in prime time, NBC opened up entire channels devoted to the wholly unAmerican sports of soccer and *basketball* (*AHEM*) which feature in replays nothing but American games!

Boxing has been practically relegated to Telemundo and occasionally the low rated USA network. Cool sports that could use some American exposure, like say the shooting events…and by the way, how is it possible that the country that practically GIVES you a fucking gun at birth can’t shoot to hit a fucking target unless it’s a black man running across a lawn?…or rowing or god forbid, cycling!

Additionally, I prefer mass quantities of cilantro to mass quantities of patriotism and its ugly brother, nationalism.

Patriotism, the last refuge of the cilantro.

You know, I was going to make fun of Melissa trying to hold her chins up in that photo until I noticed the hospital gown. Get well soon, you poor dear. At least the day room looks cheerful enough.

The fact is, liberals are stupid. They are not as smart, productive, loyal, faithful, happy, dedicated, purposeful, popular, fulfilled or relaxed as conservatives are.

ah yes! that explains why since conservatives got control over everything they’ve managed to balance the budget, respond effectively to domestic acts of nature, promote economic prosperity and spread peace throughout the world!

dude, conservatives know two things: jack and shit. that’s why they’ve completely fucked the country up, they don’t even know the brake from the accelerator. you guys suck, and it shows in your pathetic record of attempting to govern.

That’s a hospital gown? I thought she just had horrible fashion sense, being “blonde” and wearing a white T shirt…

dude, conservatives know two things: jack and shit.

And jack’s gone fishing.

Well, duh. Kobe admitting that he loves American clearly proves that he hates America. St00pid moonbats.

I still think he was going for the gotcha and failed

Nah, he was going for the treacly heartwarming and mostly succeeded. I wrote somewhere else that Bryant was like Ralph Wiggum as George Washington: Collinsworth/Lisa asks the equivalent of “Couldn’t we just give in to the British?” and Bryant/Ralph gets to bellow “Never!”

(Incidentally, I got to like Allen Iverson during my years in Philly. He gets beaten up by the media far in excess of any actual sins. Bryant was always a media darling — ooh, he speaks other languages! — until his ego [and other body parts] started to get the best of him. He was practically the poster boy for the slogan “One of the Good Ones.”)

Nationalism has killed the Olympics.

Um…Was this in 1936, 1972, 1980, 1984 or more recently?

Between this substantial quack and Debbie Anschlussilicious, I am torn between my disgust at their babblings and my deep-seated fetish for big blondes. If they ever formed a tag-team, I’d have no hope.

Has anyone asked Cris Collinsworth how it feels to never win the big one?

P.S. Mikey, you are a true American hero. I would be honored to be your neighbor.

Patriotism is the FIRST refuge of the scoundrel.

Cool sports that could use some American exposure, like say the shooting events…and by the way, how is it possible that the country that practically GIVES you a fucking gun at birth can’t shoot to hit a fucking target unless it’s a black man running across a lawn?

This is the one that always bothered me too. If we’re going to have all these jingo’d-up psychotics with firearms around, the least they can fucking do is run a streak on all Olympic shooting contests from now until the end of time. Minute we lose, 2nd amendment should be repealed. Especially if it’s a country with strict gun control laws that beats us.

Seriously, what the fuck is the point of having as many firearms in this country if not one of you motherfuckers can shoot straight at a target? And don’t give me any of that, “they expect us to shoot on skis” crap. You wanted the goddamn things, so make sure we get the gold.

It goes without saying that the article is a puddle of useless drivel. To top it off Dr. Clouthier throws in one of the right wing’s trademark “heads I win, tails you lose” arguments:

He enthused about how great the American young people were and how well they represented our country. Does any American expect anything less? It is not surprising to Americans that these kids who work their butts off and show discipline, dedication, and devotion to their sport would be anything less than disciplined, dedicated, and devoted while in China. What is surprising is that Collinsworth is surprised or would feel compelled to report this.

So Collinsworth is wrong when he is insufficiently patriotic and he is also wrong when he is overtly patriotic.

I am English. We are having our best Olympics since we had an empire. Britannia rules the waves. And the cycling track. Etc. I cheer on the UK for the added fun having someone to barrack for brings, but I find biased coverage a drag. It’s tons worse here in Australia though. They didn’t even show the madison because Australia were playing hockey or volleyball or basketball or some shit that you would never watch outside the Olympics (yeah, I know, the madison also comes into that category–the thing is, they prefer Australian participation in a group match of no importance to a final that Australians are not fancied to win). They are seriously deranged here: a woman qualifies for the hurdles final and they trail the poor soul for the whole day before the event. TONIGHT! Sally McLennan! Will! Go! Foooooor GOLD! in the hurdles. Poor kid was just delighted to have made the final.

Speaking as a fellow Briton, there is much secret delight at us beating the Ockers for medals right now. They call us ‘whingeing poms’ but there is no sound more shrill, more desperate than a whining Aussie. It’s like the sound of a jet engine spooling up to maximum thrust.

The BBC showed a series of interview with whiny Aussies mortified at being overtaken in the medal tables by Britain. One Ocker even had the gall to take us to task for immigrant athletes. For a nation built on immigration to get nativist over such issues smacks of desperation.

Meanwhile I await the Sun’s campaign to get Chris Hoy a knighthood…

why didn’t anyone bother to notice that our actual still-serving President was busy slapping asses in Beijing to really do anything? Or that Condi Rice had to grudgingly leave her vacation to really do anything?

And this was during the most serious international crisis since the end of the Cold War.

Percyprune said,

August 21, 2008 at 21:23

Sounds like someone’s pining for the glory days of the empire again.

What would be nice is if these “unpatriotic” bobbleheads would kindly point out that Tienemmen Square is a fucking tomb seeped with the blood of people who thought idiotic things like “freedom” mattered. And that the same Chinese government who they are ballwashing helped make it that way.

The second they did that, our TV screens would have gone blank and we’d have some bobbleheads in a studio in Burbank describing the 4 x 100 men’s relay swimming from a newspaper report they read the day after.

On the opening telecast, the usual Setting-The-Stage-Video-Montage included the iconic clip of the guy standing in front of the tank. The next night, Costas did a live stand-up in Tiananmen Square and made a brief reference to the events of 1989. I figure that’s as much as they could’ve gotten away with.

There was a definite skin disparity between the men’s and women’s team.

As a librul, I’m all about the fairness. So yes, the guys should play without shirts.

Sounds like someone’s pining for the glory days of the empire again.

Not likely. It’s just that after years of Australian sporting dominance over Britain, it’s good to put one over the Ockers.

it’s good to put one over the Ockers.

…and what makes it sweeter is that the Aussies are such bad losers.