Ermine Is A Pope’s Best Friend
to be ermine but which the Vatican claims
is transubstantiated imitation rabbit
Bill Donohue, the nitwit behind the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights for White Straight Catholics Only, is demanding that the Democratic Party yank the convention credentials of two bloggers who are just too gay for Donohue’s liking. There is of course more than a little bit of high farce in Donohue — who wouldn’t vote for a Democrat even if Jesus himself returned and ran for public office as a Dem — telling the Democratic Party what to do.
But the real punch line is why Donohue took issue with TowleRoad, one of the blogs:
Towleroad describes itself as ‘A Site with Homosexual Tendencies.’ Accordingly, it shows men in jock straps and underwear. It also has a post on Pope Benedict XVI that takes him to task for wearing a cape with ermine.
I could understand Donohue running around waving the crucifix if we were talking about money shots of Father Diddleladdie and the altar boy in the sacristy. But underwear and jock straps? I assume Donohue is also asking that the press credentials of NBC be yanked because for the past week or so they’ve been beaming half-naked swimmers and divers into my living room, in high definition no less.
But since when did mentioning the sartorial splendor of the Pope put somebody on the Catholic shit list? Are the fashion decisions of the Pope also made ex cathedra and as immune from comment as his decision that the Virgin Mary was also the product of a virgin birth? And, just so you non-Catholics won’t misunderstand, it is not gay at all for a man to wear ermine if the man is the Pope. When the Pope wears ermine, it is a deeply reverent allusion to the New Testament’s Parable of the Ermine and the Beaver, in which the ermine, who has spent its life draping himself in fine raiment, is accepted into the heavenly hosts while the Beaver gets, well, damned.
Dems dutifully capitulating to godbag wack-a-do in 5 … 4 … 3 …
Hey, what about me?!
Didn’t you know? Guys who wear underwear or jockstraps are teh ghey!
Also, the Sear’s catalogue is a seething hotbed of gheyness! Cover your eyes!
That man has GOT to have the biggest, nastiest, most deformed skeletons in his closet.
Even worse was the time he killed one of those Red Hat Society ladies to gank her headwear, and then he started bothering Bill Pullman.
Damn, I wish Donohue would denounce my blog. Seems to be the key to Future Blog Success.
Don’t know how I could make him mad at my comics blog. Maybe say that Ultron is a Catholic, or post a picture of Ben Grimm eating crackers…
Will someone please explain to me why anyone listens to Donahue, ever? Even for the wingnuts who think Teh Ghey is a great wedge issue, having him as an ally makes you look bad.
He’s the political equivalent of a rabid pitbull.
From Donohue’s latest shakedown attempt (my emphasis):
Correct me if I’m wrong, but are those not two girls in the Bitch, Ph.D. banner?
The Modern GOP is the equivalent of that guy who thinks rabid pitbulls are the manliest and most macho dog ever. And that little girl who got killed by his dog shouldn’t have been sitting in her own front yard anyway, hyuck.
Seems to be the key to Future Blog Success.
Well, it can also sometimes result in fun things like death threats, and strangers showing up unannounced to bang on your front door, or so was Melissa McEwan’s experience anyway (Shakesville, ne: Shakespeare’s Sister).
I’m sure in the case of Towleroad Deacon Asshat laid an egg over the nerve of a faggot to make fun of a priest wearing ermine……….
(Yes, the choice of an offensive noun for Andy Towle was deliberate and I chose it because it was offensive. Doing that makes the point about Donahue’s vileness more bluntly.)
Actually, Joe Ratzinger’s sartori-papal views are significant enough to warrant a fairly long section in his wikipedia page although Amy Alkon would contend that that entire section was planted by Gary Ruppert in order to conceal the Pope’s secret plan of promoting single motherhood.
Dear Catholic Church:
I request that you excommunicate Bill Donohue because he supports the most successful pedophile ring in America.
Yours,
Righteous Bubba
Also, Donohue and not Donahue.
A think a better pic wudda been a shot of Pope “Eggs” Benedict steaming in all its hollandaise sauce wonderment.
By the way, is the pope allowed to purchase hookers? If not, are you telling me he’s on a monogomous 60 year relationship with Fistina?
Yikes! Pope Ratzkiwatzki looks a bit like the Crypt Keeper in that shot!
J-
Yes, those are girls. You know that. I know that. Donohue Family Man Save the Fetuses doesn’t. Maybe because they’re wearing pants.
Shucks, that’s harsh. Fortunately, Bill Demand-ohue is a very forgiving man – just ask John Hagee.
Shorter Bill Donohue:
Democrats, note: What Towleroad wrote on the pope’s stoat coat don’t float. Their credentials, please revoke.
The fact is, someone once said, “Knowing that the alternative is worse actually makes it harder for me; it just reinforces that sense I often get from some Dems, including Sen. Obama in this cycle, that they think they can do whatever the fuck they like to me, because I don’t have any other option. The worst part? They’re right.”
They are right, unless we go somewhere else. This isn’t a treatise to convince anyone to do so—but it’s an explanation for why a feminist/womanist might, why it’s a legitimate choice, and why, if that means the Left isn’t a picture of harmony, it’s not our fault.
The reason the Left is discordant isn’t because of our standards; it’s because there are so many bigots with no benchmark for success but winning—even at our expense.
By the way, is the pope allowed to purchase hookers? If not, are you telling me he’s on a monogomous 60 year relationship with Fistina?
Well, his long-time assistant is good looking.
Dear J-
You fucking win. Bestest thing ever.
Yours,
Strange Forces
Fixed.
Parable of the Ermine and the Beaver, in which the ermine, who has spent is life draping himself in fine raiment, is accepted into the heavenly hosts while the Beaver gets, well, damned.
I apologize, but …
I thought the Beaver got screwed.
Again, I apologize.
Funny that you mention NBC airing images of men decked out in Speedos recently. The only underwear clad guys I see on Towleroad’s blog is an ad for American Apparel (which is less salacious than your typical Calvin Kline ad) and an ad for the Olympics.
Is Bill whining about Barney Frank getting to use the same drinking fountain as the normals, too?
Anyhoot, Towleroad is a great blog, Andy is the shiz, and thank sweet Jesus there’s men in underwear to be found there. I needs something besides SadlyNo! to pique my interests.
What’s the problem? Wasn’t Joan of Arc burned in a heap of faggots?
Bill Donohue? THIS Bill Donohue?
Why this puckered sphincter on stilts hasn’t been laughed out of the Alpha Quadrant is beyond understanding.
Well… Dr. Bitch is most emphatically not gay – but she does have an open marriage, which is probably worse in Billy Boy’s eyes.
And yeah – it’s a girl flipping the bird in her site header.
Almost 2000 comments on your site about me! Me! Me! Me!
And now…almost 2001!
Almost 2000 comments on your site about me! Me! Me! Me!
Me and my shit moat
Stinking up the avenue
Me and my shit moat
All the world to tell our troubles to
Smile for me babe
What you lookin at?
Lemme see your grill
You wanna see my what?
Your, your grill
Your your, your grill
Separated at birth: Bill Donohue and Amy Alkon?
I can’t believe you haven’t linked through to the Bitch, PhD post that’s pissed off Donohue, because she criticized these.
Man, that’s some funny.
I am also infatuated with Malkin 2008 – Amy Alkon, but perhaps we shouldn’t drag her into unrelated threads.
I know, it’s hard. I keep refreshing SN waiting for the next Amy entry, but c’mon.
Bill Donahue, the nitwit behind the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights for White Straight Catholics Only…
That’d be White Straight Wingnut Catholics Only.
Still a small minority.
And his group pretty much has a membership of one…..
It’s so strange to me that what he has to say gets picked up and reported as if it’s worth paying attention to.
Just wait until PETA splashes Ratzi with paint because he’s wearing fur.
Doesn’t Donohue have a crucifix around his neck? With a naked man on it clad in a loin cloth?
Ermine furs, adorned, imperious,
Strike dear pontiff, and cure his heart.
I’m pretty sure that Donohue taught Mickey Kaus about goat blowing.
It’s so strange to me that what he has to say gets picked up and reported as if it’s worth paying attention to.
Who, Donahue or the Pope?
Little Billy’s got a hell of a scam going, at least until some bright soul stops to ask where his mandate’s coming from. (As opposed to his man date.)
Ermine furs, adorned, imperious,
Strike dear pontiff, and cure his heart.
whip-lashed
girlboy child in the darkCorrect me if I’m wrong, but are those not two girls in the Bitch, Ph.D. banner?
Why yes. Yes they are. Not much way to miss the whole point of a feminist blog by a wider fucking margin than via godbaggy male-default assumption.
I like the ermine. It’s so beautiful in comparison to his face.
It also has a post on Pope Benedict XVI that takes him to task for wearing a cape with ermine.
FAB-yoo-lous!
By the way, it’s spelled “Donohue”.
“I could understand Donahue running around waving the crucifix if we were talking about money shots of Father Diddleladdie and the altar boy in the sacristy.”
While we share a distaste for Donahue, ridiculing child sexual abuse is horrid and beneath humanity. I will not be visiting again.
Trey
Me, I just couldn’t get past this:
Yeah… the Kos guys are pretty much mostly radical in the sense that they REALLY like the Democrats. And the Democratic party acts like that somehow makes them welcome at the Democratic convention!
That’s like complaining about Republicans giving credentials to Fox News.
Also, how is it that Christians are so unaware of themselves? The fucking Bible tells us that all Pagans are either morons or demon worshipers.
And yet they usually act like it’s some huge breach of etiquette when the Pagans say rude things back. It drives me nuts.
While we share a distaste for Donahue, ridiculing child sexual abuse is horrid and beneath humanity. I will not be visiting again.
Bruce passes the torch.
I guess Wild Bill gave up on P.Z. Myers, who still has his job.
How’s that saying go again?
The friend of my ermine is the ermine of my pope.
I can’t believe you haven’t linked through to the Bitch, PhD post that’s pissed off Donohue, because she criticized these
In the interests of fairness and parity, I now demand a balloon Buddha.
What’s that, Great Gazoogle? OK, I’m happy now.
Oh, Trey, please stay,
or come again another day.
Little Sadlies love to play!
Don’t be too hard on Benedict; he’s a kick-ass Pope. I don’t know too many other principal spiritual figures of the 21st Century who’ve shot down three B-17s and two B-24’s.
The Dali Lama’s gone all the way to Karazhan / Level 70 in WoW, but that’s not exactly the same thing.
Trey said,
While we share a distaste for Donahue, ridiculing child sexual abuse is horrid and beneath humanity. I will not be visiting again.
Trey
Aw geez Trey, you’ve just been reading too much Bruce. It’s what happens when you let young people read Bruce – they starting wanting to be Bruce.
Wow. Trey got offended by a “priests diddling altar boys” joke? It’s a good thing you don’t see those very often.
I can’t for the life of me figure out how this thread is unrelated to Amy Alkon.
Ermine furs, adorned, imperious,
Strike dear pontiff, and cure his heart.
Pope Severin, Severin, speak so slightly
Pope Severin, down on your bended knee.
The New Testament’s Parable of the Ermine and the Beaver, where the ermine decides that the beaver is kind of yucky because it smells like bacon and playdough, and begins hanging out in an airport bathroom tapping his feet seeking divine glory (holes).
Good heavens! To refer to the awful practice of “d*ddl*ng” is simply beyond the pale. I shan’t be visiting this interblog again, I can tell you that much right now.
Robert M. asks:
Will someone please explain to me why anyone listens to Donahue, ever?
I’ve always wondered that, too. Especially, I wondered why the US bishops let this rabid pitbull go around acting like he speaks for the church. His selective outrage seems to only fall on liberals. I kind of figured he’s the bishops’ id. That is, he says things publicly they only wish they could get away with. And then I this article in the Boston Globe, and it pretty much confirmed it. It’s an interview with the Archbishop of Boston, Cardinal O’Malley. In regard to his working relationship with prominent Democratic politicians in Massachusetts, the article says:
O’Malley has said he cannot understand how Catholics can vote for Democrats,
I think my assessment is pretty much right.
And what costume shall the poor Pope wear
To all tomorrow’s parties?
Don’t ask for explanations
There’s nothing left you’d understand
You’re one of the wild, the catholic and the damned beavers
The wild, the catholic and the damned.
I used to be disgusted
But now I try to be amused
Since the wings have gotten rusted
You know the Pope wants to wear my red shoes.
Lonesome Pope Ratzy
Rides the rodeo.
Lonesome Pope Ratzy,
You got to see him yodel “Ay-hee-ho!”
Lonesome Pope Ratzy
Rides the rodeo.
Ever since he was a little lad,
Loves the rodeo.
Bucking broncs, yeah, sipping wine,
You got to see him go,
And all the mitre girls
Love to hear him yodel “Ay-hee-ho!”
Ratzinger
He’s the man, the man with the diddler’s touch
A fiddler’s touch
Such a cold finger
Beckons you to enter his church of sin
But don’t go in
Golden rules he will pour in your ear
But his lies can’t disguise what you fear
For an altar boy knows when he’s kissed him
It’s the kiss of death…
From Mister Ratzinger
Pretty boy, beware of his cross of gold
This finger’s cold
Fuck the pope. How many divisions does he have?
(But I gotta tell ya, his red shoes are to die for).
Ratzinger could get used to being defended by Donohue; he may just be the only Catholic left on Earth who still makes him look moderate.
Donohue is a small-time Republican flack who plumbs the time-honored evangelical tradition of freaking out illiterately whenever something reminds you of what Pastor told you Jesus hates. (It’s an even more confusing and inexcusable act in Donohue’s case because one presumes his equivalent of the grabby youth pastor spoke Latin.) The great circle that started with evangelicals’ appropriation and reshaping of the embarassing Charismatic freakout over Satanist ritual abuse is now complete; Donohue, besides directly transferring his Fuhrer-worship from the President to the Pope on occasion, isn’t recognizably different from Falwell in any way – which is rather like a man pretending to be a Communist and voting for Ron Paul.
For those of us for whom Catholicism is most important as a part of our identity – and for whom the church and especially the Vatican are an embarassing relic – Donohue is about as embarassing as I imagine Kahane (or modern-day wannabes Schlussel and Oshry) are to our Jewish equivalents.
If there actually is an afterlife, I hope Donohue winds up being strapped to a cross and dunked in piss forever. It would be fitting, wouldn’t it?
And yet they usually act like it’s some huge breach of etiquette when the Pagans say rude things back. It drives me nuts. Yes, wingnut debate rule #391, if you say rude things, then we are done.
O’Malley has said he cannot understand how Catholics can vote for Democrats,
And they wonder why folk have stopped going to church?
It would be fitting, wouldn’t it?
Yes. And forget the Forgive Me, Father. I’m not apologizing.
He’s just asking for their credentials to be nullified?
No lynch-mobs?
No death-threats?
No 24/7 vigils on their lawns?
Well there you go: Donohue’s getting soft!
Give him a few more years & he’ll be chugging Thunderbird, doing bong-hits & claiming Marx was an apostle, at this rate. But we’ll always have those halcyon days of deranged bloodlust & self-righteous despise to remember him by. Billy, we hardly knew ye.
(*sings “Ave Maria” to the tune of “Hava Nagila”*)
And they wonder why folk have stopped going to church?
Or bending over in front of priests.
Heh. I’m laughing my (largely useless) tits off.
And yet if Andy Towle were having a little dig at some vile Muslim cleric baying for the blood of gay men and lesbians, you’d all be over there spamming his site with juvenile behaviour in defence of that poor man’s right to hate homosexuals because it’s part of his culture to do so. Sad really, and so dangerous for the people who will eventually become the victims of your hypocrisy.
What the fuck are you talking about, you sad little idiot?
And Alec, as an ex-Catholic converted to Judaism, I get the full-barrel blast of being embarassed by Donahue AND Kahanists.
And Alec, as an ex-Catholic converted to Judaism, I get the full-barrel blast of being embarassed by Donahue AND Kahanists.
You poor son of a bitch. You ever pin a freeper down and get them to say ‘judeo-Christian’ every other word? I imagine that’s the only upside to that.
I haven’t usually had the chance. I think if I did, I’d demand being called a “Judeo” over and over, because I stopped believing in Jesus when I was seven, and all remaining Catholic practices in my head are like old programs I had stuffed in my head for the purposes of espionage, and I can’t get rid of ’em.
Like St. Anthony prayers if I lose something, or using Jesus Christ as a swear.
And yet if Andy Towle were having a little dig at some vile Muslim cleric baying for the blood of gay men and lesbians, you’d all be over there spamming his site with juvenile behaviour in defence of that poor man’s right to hate homosexuals because it’s part of his culture to do so. Sad really, and so dangerous for the people who will eventually become the victims of your hypocrisy.
Islam is a minority religion in America, and while mainline Catholicism is in most of the country as well, the Catholic Leaguers are effectively members of the Protestant majority. Getting up an emigrant Muslim cleric’s ass about homosexuality would be like getting up an ultra-orthodox rabbi’s ass about it – it’s just not fucking acceptable; it’s just another way of beating up on a community already scared for their fucking lives.
No, I don’t think anyone would be defending his ‘right to hate homosexuals’ (although funny how that only seems to exist for the religious minority in your people’s Constitution), but rather shitting on the abuser for being, you know, a fucking bigot.
Even if it’s not openly racist in the way anglo-American attacks on Islam almost invariably are (ask a Druze about headscarves sometime), it’s crass to go after the totems of an already-disadvantaged minority; further, it’s not like it fucking accomplishes anything except making a martyr out of someone loathsome. Go find somewhere else to peddle your politically correct pseudo-ambivalence, you loathsome fucker, and make sure to get yourself some rubber sheets while you’re out.
or using Jesus Christ as a swear.
I suspect this is just a feature of English – I’ve known people raised atheist or Hindu or whatever who use it. Some see the incongruity, some don’t; one of them pointed out that if anything the cross-hanging motherfucker getting involved in their lives ought to make things even worse. (And really, that makes more sense than ‘Jesus’ being some kind of cry for succor – ‘Goddamn’ means about the same thing, doesn’t it?)
Well, I meant “Jesus Christ” as an umbrella of swears.
Jesus Christ might be used by anyone, sure. But shit like “Jesus, Mary and Joseph”, “Jesus H. Christ Almighty” or various other assorted phrases which are very Catholic in nature, in my opinion, are stuff that’s hard to get rid of.
My father used to tell me that one of the few good reasons for being Catholic was for the litany of curses you develop.
Getting up an emigrant Muslim cleric’s ass about homosexuality would be like getting up an ultra-orthodox rabbi’s ass about it – it’s just not fucking acceptable…
As I said. Hypocrites and with your heads so far up your rectums you can’t smell the forest for the trees.
you can’t smell the forest for the trees.
I wish I’d said that.
Home is living like a man on the run
Trails leading nowhere, where to my son?
We’re already dead, just not yet in the ground
Take my helping hand I’ll show you around
You know it makes sense, don’t even think about it
Life and death are just things you do when you’re bored
Ermine’s a pope’s best friend
You add it up it brings you down
And yet if Andy Towle were having a little dig at some vile Muslim cleric baying for the blood of gay men and lesbians, you’d all be over there spamming his site with juvenile behaviour in defence of that poor man’s right to hate homosexuals because it’s part of his culture to do so.
Does anyone else feel disappointed — and a little bit hurt — that GMan is complaining about the imaginary things that his version of the Sadly-Nocracy would say on Earth-Aleph-Null, while ignoring all the offensive things that the real Sadly-Nocracy have actually said?
We expect a little more recognition of our efforts to lower the discourse.
Sorry, that was me.
As I said. Hypocrites and with your heads so far up your rectums you can’t smell the forest for the trees.
You’re looking for National socialists, honey.
Hypocrites and with your heads so far up your rectums you can’t smell the forest for the trees.
I nominate this as Mixed Metaphor of the Month.™ Awesome!
I nominate this as Mixed Metaphor of the Month.™ Awesome!
Maybe he wasn’t actually speaking metaphorically, and is also to dendrophiles what parcour is to silly walks.
Bilbo Doughnahoe: trolling at $330k/year rather than $3.30/hour.
As I said. Hypocrites and with your heads so far up your rectums you can’t smell the forest for the trees.
Thanks for sharing your sexual predilections with the Internets, Smart Feller Fart Smeller.
Now bugger off.
I’m quite certain that “Muslim clerics baying for the blood of gay men and lesbians” have been spoken ill of many times on teh intertoobz, and I cannot recall a time we’ve spammed (or even visited in significant numbers) a site for hosting such remarks.
I cannot speak for the rest of Sadly, No!, of course. To me, it seems that the appropriate reaction to a religious or political leader’s calls to abuse human rights is to take some sort of direct action. If one is actually concerned with correcting and preventing human rights abuses, signing up for Amnesty International’s Urgent Action Network is a fine idea. Rather than arguing with random internet users, Amnesty International organizes people to send letters, e-mails, and faxes directly to those who have the power to stop the violations. Interestingly, this actually works — not all the time, of course, but many political prisoners and torture victims have been released, or at least allowed the exercise of their rights, due to the pressure and attention focused by Amnesty volunteers.
Of course, the goal of all this being the protection of the human rights of the powerless, it’s considered counterproductive to write “you vile blood-drinking theocrat” or “Dear Fascist Bully-boys” or “glargle argh muzzies dhimmitude fap fap fap”. For the sake of getting across a point, one must often restrain one’s personal feelings. It’s inadvisable and inhumane to view human rights merely as some sort of metaphorical club with which to beat another culture. But if you think you can refrain from doing that, I highly recommend signing up for email alerts and writing letters. It’s a meaningful and productive way to participate in the world, regardless of one’s political ideology, religion, or culture.
Amy Alkon
Holy shit; that was really Amy!
Holy shit; that was really Amy!
OMG I could shit a moat right NOW.
I thought it was one of us, just screwing around. She’s got a nerve, complaining about us commenting over there if she’s going to do it over here.
Could it really have been about her stupid fucking opinion instead of her stupid fucking self? All signs point to YES.
I think Amy uses the word “turd” too much. She should get a thesaurus. Here are some alternatives, off the top of my head:
Shit, poop, crap, poo, dump, feces, log, excrement, dookie, floater, dung, loaf, defecation, bowel movement, fecal matter, steamer, and, finally, my favorite, the porcelain Loch Ness monster.
I don’t know why the other 6,999 dwarves were there, but I was there because I am obsessed with the lovely Ms Alkon. Ever since I saw Sandra Bernhardt in Hudson Hawk (1991) I have had a thing for crazy, self-absorbed women with tiny dogs and clown-red hair. I don’t care about her opinion (that it’s okay to shoot people if they don’t take good enough care of themselves and their families); I’m just writing to get her to keep posting more pictures of herself. She’s got this bizarre sensuality, like an overturned bus full of Russian dominatrices.
like an overturned bus full of Russian dominatrices
I would like to travel on the same public-transport system as Doctorb.
disarming but vicious
hello there and thank you for your information – I have definitely picked up anything new
from right here. I did however expertise some technical issues using this site, as I experienced to reload the website lots of times previous to I
could get it to load correctly. I had been wondering if your web host is
OK? Not that I am complaining, but slow loading instances times will often affect your placement in google and can damage your quality score
if advertising and marketing with Adwords. Well I am adding this RSS to my email
and can look out for much more of your respective
interesting content. Ensure that you update this again very soon.