What about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming?

Germany’s most popular newspaper published a front page story yesterday that we know you (if by you, one means Frederick) are going to be interested in: the first official German orgasm study! (You know they have good editors at that paper because right below the orgasm story here is an article titled “10 important questions about hemorrhoids.”) But we digress.

According to the study’s author, it’s “difficult for men to tell the difference between a real and a fake orgasm,” while a sex therapist added “women can act very well.” Given that 9 out of 10 women have faked it, the problem is obviously widespread. So what is a man to do? Read the “how to recognize a deception in bed” of course. [You’ll have to translate it yourselves though.]

There were more disturbing results: German women’s orgasms over the course of their lifetime will last a combined 1.4 hours, while men will spend 9.3 hours on the job during their lifetime. But some German men aren’t taking this report lying down. According to this guy, his girlfriend spends more than 1.4 hours a month having orgasms. Given that the study reported that the average woman’s orgasm lasts 20 seconds, that works out to 256 orgasms a month, slightly more than 8 per day.

Hmm, we bet this guy finds himself saying Yeah, and if i catch the guy who did it! quite often.


Comments: 14



I think most women have faked it because they just want it the hell over with, already. Note to guys: If we’re faking, the sex probably isn’t very good.


Yeah, chicks can fake orgasms but only men can fake relationships.

Must dash….


I’m a guy and I’ve faked it. Did the study look into guys faking it? There are more than you would think.

And for the record, nobody ever faked it with me.


but do I care if it was faked as long as mine is real? 9.3 hours in a life time? I spend that much time in a month, which explains why I am always thirsty.


Calling Bild a “newspaper” is stretching it a bit, I’d say. (I wish that so was “most popular”, but alas it is)


I know what you mean. No woman has ever faked it with me either. If one had, she would have told me.

Of course no woman has ever faked it with Ben Shapiro either.


Sister Euphemia of the Five Wounds (she drew the short rosary) was in charge of the fleshly hygiene curriculum at Our Lady of Perpetual Consternation, and she told us that…. Wait a second, she never told us anything. I’m sorry. I have some urgent research to do.


Ben Shapiro fakes it with Ann, just to get it over and done with.


No woman’s ever done it with Ben Shapiro, let alone faked it.


I’ve heard that male pigs have six-minute orgasms. Any truth to that? That would mean a pig would only have to have 93 orgasms to match a human male’s lifetime duration of orgasms. I’m envious.


Hmm, maybe I was misinformed. Everyone on the Internet seems to claim that pigs’ orgasms last 30 minutes. Now I’m really envious. Can I be reincarnated as a pig?


Mojo – that was my point.


Read all about it–the Orgasmatron.
It’s a sacral implant originally for pain control but had, shall we say, unexpected side effects.
That name, though, makes me think of a Ronco product. “But wait! That’s not all!”


The Orgasmatron was originally from Woody Allen’s “Sleeper”. Don’t get in it alone.


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