You can put the winning in the whiner…
…but you can’t take the whining out of the winner. First up in the unhappy winner battle is Richard Mullenax, the illegitimate love child of Roberto Newsmax.
”Spiegel Online,” a German news site, has a cartoon map on the front page of its index, claiming that all the red states should be called ”Jesusland” while the blue states join Canada and be renamed ”The United States of Canada.” [Emphasis added.]
Richard provided a link to the “front page” of Spiegel’s index, which amazingly enough is located here:
http://www.spiegel.de/netzwelt/netzkultur/0,1518,grossbild-405553-326686,00.html
We used to visit Spiegel (the web site of a German weekly magazine, if anyone cares,) but we got tired of having to type in that url to reach their front page. (No, we don’t believe in Favorites!) Of course, the picture in question (United States of Canada and Jesusland,) is making its way around the internet and, as Spiegel notes, its origins are unknown (to us and them anyway.) Yet as long as liberals will resort to making slanderous cartoons, Dick will be there to expose them. So you’d better watch it, Marmaduke!
All that Dick wants, in case you wanted to know, is for some good old style rock ‘n roll unity:
The word ”unite” seems to be the key of both parties, but it cannot reasonably happen unless one party submits to the other party.
Ladies, he’s single!
Next up is Doug Hagin. You may remember him from your local bowling alley, where was he last seen at the shoe rental counter:
After the recent presidential election, American Liberals must be feeling a little ill. Not often does a nation so overwhelmingly reject out of hand an ideology.
No, it’s not enough that a presidential candidate in a two-man race wins with 51% of the popular vote. Why, it’s never happened before. (Or maybe it has. The wingnuts aren’t fact checking their articles, so why should we?) Last time we tried the guy who lost the popular vote won anyway, complete with a start a war against a poor country of your choice card.
President George W. Bush received more votes than any presidential candidate has ever received, nearly 60 million of them, well over 3 million more than his opponent John Kerry did.
Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln = the all star loo-zers. We bet they didn’t even get one million votes.
The map shows that even in the States where John Kerry won, like New York and California, Bush won far more counties.
Indeed, were it not for the Framers’ poor handwriting, the Declaration of Independence would now read: We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all counties are created equal…
America chose the principles of rewarding Americans for hard work over the Marxist principles of punitive and confiscatory tax codes.
Hmm, we must have missed that part of Kerry’s platform.
America chose the politics of hopefulness and pride in America over the message of anger and resentment the Democrats always bring to the table.
There’s no arguing over that point! (We’ll add that as was true of Dick, Doug is single. Just think of him as the poor man’s Matt Foley.)
Last (and least) is the Ace & Gary of the Boy Scouts Movement, Hans Zeiger:
Though people who know reality cannot expect it to belong to liberty exclusively — and if we envision a utopia we won’t have freedom at all — we can hope and dream that it will be a century devoid of the monstrosities that have defined the past century.
Well, we’re no experts (of course!,) but it sure looks like someone has been hitting the ganja. Unless Hans believes “the world” consists of Iraq and Afghanistan on a good day. So reach out and grab liberty by the balls:
It is a struggle that will require the most ardent efforts of a generation. For the thing we must seek first is not liberty[.]
It isn’t? Why the hell not?
we already have that
Right! FU poor people in ass backwards countries! FU!
No president or Congress can grant responsibility to the American people, and thus they cannot bless us with liberty.
Why would we want the president or Congress to bless us with something we already have?
In our capacity as individuals, made in the image of God and inheritors of a mighty body of principle and culture[.]
You know who else has inherited a mighty body of principle and culture? Tara Reid!
The truly significant trends of what has been called the Millennial Generation are a rising commitment to traditional faith, the growing rejection of relativism, the renewed commitment to the family, and a bold expression of conservatism amongst college and university students. [Emphasis added.]
Hans sure can pack a lot of facts amongst his ass, can’t he?
[Thanks to Frederick for the Tara Reid pictures.]
You had me scared earlier, I came here and there was a for sale sign or something up. Don’t know what I’d do without you sarcastic bastard(s).
I still cant access the main page. What’s up, seb? I get transfered to some domain-purchasing site. Is it true that I can buy Sadly, No for some lint and a shiny button? That seems pretty steep…
blarg! not it ate my witty post!
America chose the principles of rewarding Americans for hard work over the Marxist principles of punitive and confiscatory tax codes.
Really? they don’t say!! Well, since they put it that way, the blue states should just put a stop to this confiscatory tax practice and stop sending their money to those red states.
Hey, fair is fair! Cause we all know the practice of collecting taxes from New Yorkers and Californians and sending it to Alabama must be a marxist practice. We must cease and desist!
“FU!” Felix Unger?
I remember when Hansie Zieger was writing one of those young writer columns for the sunday edition of the Seattle Papers (there are two papers, but they put out one on Sundays). The only thing that has changed with his columns is that he no longer whines about how marriage is under siege from the rising tide of gayness.
Who’s in favor of making those two countries a reality?
*raises her hand, looks around sheepishly, then lowers it*
Oh, well… I can still dream.
The sad truth is that these opiners for the total conservatorian existence would kill themselves if they ever actually had to LIVE in that world.
The sad truth is that these opiners for the total conservatorian existence would kill themselves if they ever actually had to LIVE in that world.
The sad truth is that these opiners for the total conservatorian existence would kill themselves if they ever actually had to LIVE in that world.
sorry, sorry, sorry for the posts. I kept getting back an error saying it wasn’t working.
the minute i opened his site and saw the bunny-humpy tease photos (oooh a man in a uniform and with bare arms… ohhhhhhh) i knew i would find at least one article written by hans where he would somehow find himself “trapped” or somehow unwittingly at something overtly gay. ain’t it almost a maxim — these folks (both the boys and girls) who are so vehemently and religiously opposed to queers always seem to find themselves surrounded by these evil deviants. of course they always live to tell (emphasis on “tell”). betcha a dollar to a donut, if this maxim has legs (and it does) hans will find himself once again in another one of these trying settings. looks like a job for boy scout wonder!
for the life of me, who in the hell actually would spend that much time at a gay pride festival — including watching a huge portion of it before cruising the festival after that (emphasis on “cruising”)? not even us homos can stomach that much bud lite, lip-synching, macram? selling, tourist-over-run “gentle angry but thoroughly fierce and color-coordinated peoples” gatherings. we host them so that other folks can go to them. and when you are at our pride festivals, we are at your place, eating the food out of your fridge and displacing your favorite shoes and leaving the garage door open. just thought you should know.
i will say this — he has staying power given the amount of stuff he reports back to everyone regarding the seattle pride event. that’s my boy scout wonder!.
i’ll keep my suspicions to myself. but i can not stay silent about my objections to his web-site:
1. no gratuitous beef-cake photos;
2. the same four photos that were there five minutes ago are still there. how is one supposed to practice stress reductive exercises without a better variety of photos? and
3. see #1.
at least ann colder has several come hither and feed me photos on her flyer. c’mon hans, show some skin! consider this part of your ministry, bringing joy into the lives of the destitute and leering. showing skin would be a self-less act of generosity. jesus would. in fact he did. i saw “the passion…” so c’mon, for your fellow man, skin!
the minute i opened his site and saw the bunny-humpy tease photos (oooh a man in a uniform and with bare arms… ohhhhhhh) i knew i would find at least one article written by hans where he would somehow find himself “trapped” or somehow unwittingly at something overtly gay. ain’t it almost a maxim — these folks (both the boys and girls) who are so vehemently and religiously opposed to queers always seem to find themselves surrounded by these evil deviants. of course they always live to tell (emphasis on “tell”). betcha a dollar to a donut, if this maxim has legs (and it does) hans will find himself once again in another one of these trying settings. looks like a job for boy scout wonder!
for the life of me, who in the hell actually would spend that much time at a gay pride festival — including watching a huge portion of it before cruising the festival after that (emphasis on “cruising”)? not even us homos can stomach that much bud lite, lip-synching, macram? selling, tourist-over-run “gentle angry but thoroughly fierce and color-coordinated peoples” gatherings. we host them so that other folks can go to them. and when you are at our pride festivals, we are at your place, eating the food out of your fridge and displacing your favorite shoes and leaving the garage door open. just thought you should know.
i will say this — he has staying power given the amount of stuff he reports back to everyone regarding the seattle pride event. that’s my boy scout wonder!.
i’ll keep my suspicions to myself. but i can not stay silent about my objections to his web-site:
1. no gratuitous beef-cake photos;
2. the same four photos that were there five minutes ago are still there. how is one supposed to practice stress reductive exercises without a better variety of photos? and
3. see #1.
at least ann colder has several come hither and feed me photos on her flyer. c’mon hans, show some skin! consider this part of your ministry, bringing joy into the lives of the destitute and leering. showing skin would be a self-less act of generosity. jesus would. in fact he did. i saw “the passion…” so c’mon, for your fellow man, skin!
Were these losers beaten up by drag queens at an early age? It might explain the obsession with them, and why they’re always somehow surrounded by gay people.
I think they just started fantasising about drag queens at young age, and thats how they’re always somehow surrounded by gay people.
You know who else has inherited a mighty body of principle and culture? Tara Reid!
Examining the bottom of Ms. Reid’s areola, I think her mighty body is the product of surgery, not inheritance.
As for the “seceding and joining Canada” thing, I could definitely go for that — as long as you Canadians don’t make us learn French. Hell, even if you do. It’s a small price to pay for living in a sane country.
With a new Prime Minister who I think secretly worships Bush…
The sad truth is that these opiners for the total conservatorian existence would kill themselves if they ever actually had to LIVE in that world.
Do you promise? that might be worth it if you could guarantee that all their heads would explode.
Submit. Submit? SUBMIT!? NEVER!
One party ‘must submit’?
I really must learn to read this blog in the morning when I have the energy to hit a wall, kick the dog and break a few dishes.
Submit. Submit? SUBMIT!? NEVER!
One party ‘must submit’?
I really must learn to read this blog in the morning when I have the energy to hit a wall, kick the dog and break a few dishes.
That milineium generation that overwhelming rejected Bush is a harbringer of future conservative success!
These guys seem quite into submission. And drag queens. The mind boggles.
For a real life wingnut example of what is suggested in the cartoon map in Der Spiegel go read Declaration of Expulsion: A Modest Proposal
Yet, there are 38 states today that may be inclined to adopt, let us call it, a “Declaration of Expulsion,” that is, a specific constitutional amendment to kick out the systemically troublesome states and those trending rapidly toward anti-American, if not outright subversive, behavior. The 12 states that must go: California, Illinois, New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, Rhode Island, Connecticut, Maryland, and Delaware.
I strongly suspect that there will be a number of other states such as Oregon, Washington, Montana, Colorado, Hawaii, etc. which will realize on which side their bread is buttered and also demand expulsion.
Also, the would have to move the capital out of Washington D.C. The most heavily Democratic part of the Union.
Gotta love it. Who do they think is gonna pay for their military with the blue states gone? Alafuckingbama?
Isn’t it the United Straights of Amerikkka?