Shorter Peggy “Gary Ruppert” Noonan
Posted on August 8th, 2008 by Brad
- The fact is, here in the Heartland, the mass throngs of manly white bikers will rev up their resentment and save us from President Barack Hussein Obama.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
The fact is, my employment keeps the WSJ fairly balanced between BOTH wings of the party – country AND western.
There’s a thing that’s out there and it’s big, and latent, and somehow always taken into account and always ignored, and political professionals always assume they understand it. It has been called many things the past 50 years, “the silent center,” “the silent majority,” “the coalition,” “the base.” The idea of it has evolved as its composition has evolved, but the fact that it’s big, and relatively silent, and somehow always latent, maintains. And watching that McCain event—vroom vroom—one got the sense it is perhaps beginning to pay attention to the campaign. I see it as the old America, and if and when it reasserts itself, the campaign will shift indeed, and in ways you can even see from 10,000 feet.
That’s right Peggy, white Harley riders is South Fucking Dakota represent the political center in this country.
Moron.
in South Dakota, damnit.
It’s Twue! It’s TWUE!!
Of course the big difference between 200k Berliners seeing Obama and 50k bikers seeing McCain is that the bikers were already going to be there! It’s an annual bike rally where McCain just threw himself in the middle… and that’s about the only way McCain can draw a crowd over a few hundred.
And to think several months ago, pundits were chuckling that Obama had to use the Decemberists to draw tens of thousands of DFHs to his rally in Portland.
So Peggy took her imaginary airplane up to 10,000 feet to see how the election was going. She imagines it was like a Risk board, but only the United States, with little red McCain soldiers and little blue Obama soldiers arranged along various fronts. Then she pretended to land so that she could walk around and talk to hypothetical people based on some cherrypicked poll results. Most other reporters don’t go out into that big empty area in the middle, but she has the common touch, so she isn’t afraid to ask ordinary red-blooded Americans questions in her head.
And thank goodness, because between her and her paint thinner, McCain is starting to win!
Good point. She claims to “know the heartland”, but something tells me that the last time she’s been at any point west of the Hudson River in the past fifteen years was flying in a jet.
And watching that McCain event—vroom vroom
Except it wasn’t a McCain event, it was a motorcycle convention that’s been held for years and is always well attended(and where Kid Rock was scheduled to play) he shoe-horned himself into. Remember a while back when folks on the right were saying Obama used “big name acts” like the Decemberists to draw audiences to his events? McCain can’t even manage that, he goes to other peoples’ events that already have huge crowds.
Damn you, Blue Buddha, you inveterate stealer of thunder! If only I hadn’t googled to make sure it was Kid Rock.
From the link.
“And he needs to give them this impression because he’s a young black man from nowhere”
Nice.
Yep. Today he’s at the Iowa State Fair, on opening day. There will be a gazillion people there, and I would be willing to bet that not 1 in 20 will be there specifically to see McCain. A larger percentage will be there for the sole purpose of eating corn dogs.
There will be a few protesters there, and I might have braved the heat and the crowds and paid the cost of attending simply to try and embarrass McBBQ, but I have a prior obligation, for which I am now late.
That column actually wasn’t all that nutty until the last paragraph or so. Which means that I had to read the whole thing in order to get to the lunacy.
I guess that’s what “Shorter” is for, huh?
Not nearly as good as telling the audience that he’d get his wife to strip for them.
Nice try, Peg.
Iowa State Fair
A large captive audience:
What has been the largest Fair attendance? In 2004, the attendance was a record-breaking 1,053,978.
But I suppose Noonan will write a glowing article about all the folks who came out to see St. BBQ.
Have a great day, Sadlies!
The fact is, mentioning me in the same sentence with this ass-licking toad is an insult and an embarrassment to both myself and the Heartland.
Gary Ruppert Johnson is making sense.
Dammit, why isn’t this post about Con Yankee. You were on a roll.
Begs the question- Which week was more stoopid? TIDOS Wankee week, or the epic week of crazy a while back?
Speaking of Harley riders…can someone explain to me the seemingly new trend of black guys riding Harley’s and wearing Wehrmacht helmets? All my life I’ve seen, uh, Real Biker Types[tm] wearing German army helmets on Harley’s, but it just seems a bit, um, incongruous for an urban (Baltimore) black guy to wear one. Also, this is anecdotal, but you never see anyone wearing a Wehrmacht helmet on a Japanese bike…though I have seen one on a Vespa…
Oh, and I’d pay to see Nooner even have a conversation with a single Biker. Funny how the “I wonder what the politics of this group is?” question always seems to get answered “tax cut lovin’ Republican, just like me” when asked by Nooner.
I especially liked how the Pegster pointed out that the “young black man” might be a product of self-esteem based schooling and thus might just be an empty suit (if only there where some way, in this modern age, to check and see if he has actually accomplished anything in his life? Ah for the want of a nail…) If only she could’ve worked in gay sex she would have hit all the best right wing dog whistles in one column. Come on, Peggy. Try harder!
Argh. I lived in Hollister for many years. I definitely do not want to believe that the people who descend on that town every July 4 are the moderate center of the American electorate.
TIDOS is epic stoopid time after time but I like my stoopid diverse. Then I’m a liberal fascist so what do I know other than Argula! Pinot Noir! Prius!
What they should be doing is playing this one minute clip over and over again:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dkt0LO3CE3I
The scariest-statement-followed-by-ghastly-death-rictus moment trumped by later wuss-out statement EVAH.
Creepy, spineless, the very definition of the flip-flop–THIS fucking walking corpse is fit to lead?
This should be on TV 24-7-365 until November 5th.
The funniest thing about this vote is that of the 1,000 or so hard-core riders that could actually hear McCain (and the 50 or so bikes you hear in the background), maybe 100 will vote. Maybe. The Sturgis folk have been the ‘core in the past, but more and more weekenders are out there, and a lot more than Harley-Davidsons are attending, too. Not that it’s a problem, but that crowd may not be who the MSM thinks it is.
Bigby –
And you thought cultural appropriation went only one way! All about the image, man, and the superbike crowd has already got plenty of blacks in it. Got to be distinctive, you know? I’m just waiting for blacks to start wearing flowing white robes with pointy hats, and then we will know the ultimate cultural interbreeding has occurred…
Damn. Gotta go work on my bike now.
Er… Actually, I’m thinking that none of the 50 bikes will vote in the coming election.
Voting Rights For Fat Boys!
Isn’t Peggy Noonan the one who wrote an article about how beautiful Reagan’s foot was or something?
“Dammit, why isn’t this post about Con Yankee. You were on a roll.”
Yeah! I demand the Wankee!
And watching that McCain event—vroom vroom—one got the sense it is perhaps beginning to pay attention to the campaign.
Wow. I had to read that sentence four times to make sure it was real.
“vroom vroom”, Peggy? Seriously? Isn’t that a bit juvenile and asinine for a professional writer of you stature and–
Oh, wait–she just wrote an entire article based on the premise that “hey! motorcycle engines are loud!” and her main supporting detail is “Harley riders like to gun their engines!”
Never mind.
From those lunatic Marxists over at Popular Mechanics:
“The average consumer could improve gas mileage by 3.3 percent by simply keeping his tires inflated to the proper pressure. For the average driver in the U.S. and his 15-gal. fuel tank, that’s a savings of about $2.00 on every fill-up. Figure in the increased tire life from those correct pressures, and this is beginning to add up to a handy sum. Of course, if you—or your mechanic—have been diligent about keeping tire pressures set correctly, you won’t save anything, which sounds like rewarding lazy people and penalizing the careful ones to me. But that’s life….
According to the Department of Energy, underinflated tires alone cost the country more than 1.25 billion gal. of gasoline annually—roughly 1 percent of the total consumption of 142 billion gal. According to the Annual Energy Outlook 2007, published by the Energy Information Administration, offshore drilling would increase domestic production of crude oil by only about 1 percent.
We opened this discussion with Sen. Obama’s assertion that we can offset the need to reopen offshore drilling—and save money at the pump—by keeping our tires inflated properly. He’s right.”
The Gas Gauge Plan=The Drilling Plan. Exactly. According to figures provided by an agency of the Bush Administration.
Perhaps the Obama campaign should start handing out drill bits impaling toy manatees with “McCain’s Energy Policy” written in blood on the tip.
Ahh, the Broder card. Peggy’s gonna walk around and have home-y get togethers with the plebs – to add gravitas to her pronouncements. Well, a few amusing anecdotes from Jimmy “I’m not a racist, I just like the Confederat Flag” or Jolene “having raised kids as a single mom I gotta say I don’t trust Barack to do the responsible thong, and it’s not because he’s black” – that’ll at least be better than the stupid polls and horse race crap that’s been flooding the media.
Okay Peggy, we’re looking at the specifics, none of this reading tea leaves nonsense, actual down-to-earth journalistic legwork (apologies to anyone who now has “Peggy Noonan” and “legwork ” linked in their heads).
.
.
.
WTF. She can’t even crank out the Man on the Street madlib? Another BS polls piece? It’s like she got her fucking “journalism-in-a-box” cards mixed up.
Ahh, Peggy. Well let me halp u out.
There there Peggy, it’s okay. I’m sure you can get Bill Kristol or maybe Karl Rove to put your magic article writing machine back together. That way you’ll have the proper opening parragraph to whatever piece of garbage you crank out next time.
MWU-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
Does the dear Miss Peggy even understand the workings of YouTube?
“Mr. McCain took the lead in YouTube hits. Small stuff, and there will be a lot of twists and turns before this is over, but there’s movement down there beneath the crust of the Earth.”
The only reason that the YouTube hits were so large is because people can’t avert their eyes from a train wreck, in addition to the fact that they just have to see why Paris is getting involved.
Scientists of all stripes seem to finally be striking back at the most anti-science America since the Salem Witch Trials.
Biology teachers are refusing to back down on intelligent design v. evolution, the science behind global warming continues to become clearer and stem cell research continues unabated with the announcement today that Harvard has produced 10 adult human stem cell lines that are perhaps capable of treating disease.
Yet these fossils continue to pimp their coal, oil and nuclear fuels in the face of all good existing science.
It can’t last.
When you’ve got the Sierra Club and Popular Mechanics joining forces against you, it’s only a matter of time.
Damn you, Blue Buddha, you inveterate stealer of thunder!
Hey… Where is Thunder anyway?
OMFG! Peggy, I understand the cards you use to write your “columns” are out of order, but you just gave away the secret to journamalism.
Peggy – “the base” has a very specific meaning, and it’s the opposite of the other words and phrases you used to describe your magic electoral force. I know you got a little distracted after giving the you gotta earn that shout-out to Krauthammer. I imagine it was made doubly worse when the GOP Talking Point machine told you to type about “something big and latent”. But Pegsters, you’re not supposed to let the readers in on the plan to redefine the Talibangelicals and die-hard ultra right neo-cons as “the silent center”.
I imagine a lot of the attendees watching Mcain were THAT type of biker. You know the sort. Bought a $20,000 hog, bought at least $5000 of official Harley Davidson accessories, polish their bike every sunday, and cruise around town at 20mph with the loudest exhaust Harley Davidson sell, and no helmet.
..And they brought their bike to Sturgis on a trailer. And wonder why the guy with the tats and foot long grey beard who rode his rusty shovelhead there rolls his eyes when the “hells mid-life crisis” angels cruise by.
And to think several months ago, pundits were chuckling that Obama had to use the Decemberists to draw tens of thousands of DFHs to his rally in Portland.
If they had only booked the Decembrists at Sturgis. We could have settled this thing early.
Oh, and speaking of Chuckles the AssClown and has lack of earning, can we take the whole Brandenburg Gate-gate thing out to the back and shoot it? After all Barack managed to outdraw both Reagan and Kennedy combined.
My father used to be a biker hippie back in the day, so when he retired from his nearly 30 year corporate career, he used his gobs of cash to open a custom motorcycle shop and sell overpriced bikes to
suckersmid-life crisis yuppies (about 90% of his clientele). Hey, business is business, and he’s always been a salesman.Anyway, one of his jokes is that “HD” stands for “hundred dollars”, in that anything you buy that is “official Harley-Davidson” will cost you at least $100.
McCain was at the bike rally doing a seminar:
How to the most out of your mid-life crisis
Big? Latent? Sweaty men in leather?
I’m not sure Peggy understands how dog whistling works but this isn’t helping McCain. Or am I reading her wrong? It’s always so hard to tell…
Gato Uno is a thunder stealer, too. He beat me to the you tube hits. Of which, more is necessarily better.
“that crowd may not be who the MSM thinks it is”
Yep. These days the Harley©®™ demographic consists primarily of dentists from Newport Beach and financial analysts from Evanston. Plus the occasional nail-salon owner from Plano.
Ms. Noonan:
Occasionally, you seem to be able to put together some cohesive constructs in your writing, but this column makes almost no sense at all.
Were you, possibly, under the influence of your fourth glass of chardonnay or mixing prescription painkillers with Ambien when you constructed it? For, you meamble so, not unlike an overdosed addict who simply blurts out the meaningless phrases flitting through their intoxicated mind as they drift into anesthetized, deep escape from the cold, Mrs. Robinson reality that is their life.
Tired of having your thunder stolen? I’ve been there and I sympathize my friends. Every good idea in recorded history was orignally mine, but I dallied a little too long and some uppity little whippersnapper has stolen the credit.
Well it’s time for all of that to end. A vote for John McCain is a vote for keeping more of your own thunder. Barack Obama wants to increase taxes on thunder and he’ll be stealing your thunder the same way he’s stealing mine. But when I take office as President, I will begin to implement a surge against thunder-stealers. I will mobilize the nations forces to put an end to the steling of thunder and I will finally be able to get those stupid kids to stay offa my lawn.
There’s a lot of black guys on Harleys around my neck of the woods (Oakland). The Ravens MC are pretty visible on weekends when they make their runs.
But I don’t know many real bikers who wear Wehrmacht helmets anymore. Bikers hate helmets, period. California’s laws require helmets, so most bikers go for the minimum requirement and wear the “brain bucket” dome style.
And watching that McCain event—vroom vroom—
You went to school to write like this? you should ask for your money back.
One of the mechanics at my father’s motorcycle shop took all the little square mirrors off of a disco mirror ball and painstakingly glued them onto his dome style helmet. It was a sight to see during the daytime. Best. Motorcycle. Helmet. Ever.
I’ve seen the solid chrome-finish versions, but that does it one better! Bitchin’.
Ahh, Peggy. I’m beginning to understand. You’ve gotten so lazy that you can’t even be bothered to follow the instructions on you “Journalism-in-a-Box” kit and are just stealin gother people’s bits.
The whole airplane metaphor that doesn’t match the rest of the article? It’s from Camp McCain. for instance, this is from your most reliable source of McCain talking points, Michael Scherer:
BTW, memo to Camp JohnnyCakes – Icarus is a bad metaphor to use when you are accusing your opponent of being elitist.
And watching that McCain event—vroom vroom—
Oh, you mean that event that wasn’t a McCain event at all? That biker rally he crashed? The one where he offered up his wife for the nudie beauty contest?
Yeah, vroom vroom. Makes more sense than anything else in your column.
Let me see if I have my timeline straight. Obama has a huge rally, which the Repugs respond to by claiming Obama only gathered so many people by piggybacking his speech onto a concert by the hugely popular Decembrists, America’s favorite band. Around a month or so later, McCain shows up at a huge biker rally to give a speech and claims he drew 50k to hear him speak.
Once again, the Reknobs telegraph their strategy by falsely accusing their opponents of doing it first.
“Or is he, say, a product of the self-esteem campaign, that movement within the schools and homes of our country the past 25 years that says the way to get a winner is to tell the kid he’s a winner every day? You can get some true people of achievement that way, because some people need a lot of reinforcement to rise.”
Yeah, that’s it. Harvard Law, community organizer, US Senate–it was all that self-esteem indoctrination he got at Montessori. Compared to a legacy entry into Annapolis, next-to-last in his class, and universally derided as an inept flyboy who got special treatment at the H. Hilton.
“But you can also get, not to put too fine a point of it, empty suits that take on a normal shape only because they’re so puffed up with ego.”
You mean like Mitt, right?
(The English language–the richest vocabulary in the world–is insufficient to express how much I despise this woman.)
but only if Cindy McCain shows us her tits. Otherwise. NO DEAL!
Fuck. This Nooners is just giving up a wealth of stupid. Everytime I look at it, some new glaring piece of idiocy springs out.
Umm, Peg – the reason pundits were saying the trip leveled the playing field was when Nouri al-Maliki came out and endorsed Barack Obama’s Iraq plan. Also, you claim Obama’s foreign affairs problem is “his own youth and inexperience”. Well shucks Peggy, how the heck is going to address thie big problem? Maybe he could go and visit all those foreign affairs places and talk to foreign affairs people, maybe about some foreign affairs affairs. Also, to answer your question, yes we want Mr. Untried and Untested becaus the alternative is Mr. Tried, Failed Miserably and Thinks That That’s a Great Outcome.
Oh, and the Churchill question isn’t about worms, it’s about whether to light your cigar after the first or second drink.
But thanks for bringing back the whole “empty suit” thing. I haven’t seen that piece of stupidity since April. The “empty suit” accusation has no traction because people have actually heard Barack Obama talk – also it undermines the scary black man narrative. You keep this up and the RNC might think that you aren’t reading through the entirety of their talking point memos.
Jonah Goldberg has a terrific suggestion “Okay, I have an idea for our big fund raiser-comedy extravaganza during the Democratic Convention. I think I will bring a camera and ask the audience to stand as one and offer the Obama salute so I can take a picture.”
Please let this happen.
Shit.
“Mr. McCain early on positioned himself, reasonably or unreasonably, depending on your view, as the candidate of possible new wars. I don’t think people want new wars. Mr. Obama’s problem on foreign affairs is his own youth and inexperience. In a time of high stakes, do we want Mr. Untried and Untested?
Peggy, in a time of high stakes, do we want Mr. Tried, Was Shot Down After Bombing Innocent Civilians, Captured, Tortured, Forced to Propagandize for the Enemy, Declared Torture was Evil Until it Suited His Political Ends, and Advocates More Wars of Aggression (Illegal)?
Do we want Mr. Tested and Found Wanting by his Own Party for Being Insufficiently Aggressive Against Nations full of Brown-Skinned People?
Come the fuck on. This shit is more than 2000 years old. It’s called logic, and it is universal. It doesn’t matter whether people want new wars or not, they’re prohibited by law. It is for Congress (the dumbfuck cretins that they are) to decide whether or not we declare war, and that war, according to the good ol’ U.S. Constitution, may not be an aggressive one, due to treaties we have signed that are considered the highest law of the land. STFU, and GAJ.
One line from this thing really burns my toast – & I’ve been seeing it ever since Obama was first fighting against Clinton. Is it meeting the gales of cruel unrelenting mockery it so richly deserves? Sadly, not.
I’m not even a Yank, & this pisses me off.
Here is exactly where the contrast between Barack Obama & “Third-From-The-Bottom” McCain really shines. Dude graduated fucking “Magnum Cum Laude” – they don’t just hand those out for laughs on slow days “to make the student feel good” … you more or less have to demonstrate the skills necessary to turn water into wine, slay 3 rabid dragons with your dick (while blindfolded), & swallow & digest a live hand-grenade for dibs on that one. Oh, yes indeed, spelling counts, baby … & show your work.
Much like these baffled dangleberries perpetually whinging about “golly, he looks good, but what does he STAND for?” Jesus, you lazy gits, try dislodging your bio-mechanically redundant thumbs from your colons long enough to brave the perils of checking out his website or ask his campaign to mail you a platform, & STFU already with the “man of mystery” bullshit – yes, it gives you something to bark, but it was old-hat last YEAR.
Extremely high self-regard, though, can itself be a problem.
Yes it can, Peggy. Yes it can.
Most presidential candidates fly at about 15,000 ft. Barack Obama has been living at 30,000 ft.
Shorter McCain Campaign
OT, but who did this? Naughty, naughty. *wink*
Nooners!
The fact is, the heartland is connected to the liverland, and the liverland is connected to the spleenland, and McCain has a lot of spleen.
Q.E.D, McCain is the heartland.
Actually, let’s recap. McCain bets the farm on his superior foreign policy experience.
Turns out that the American public isn’t fond of his foreign policy experience. Turns out that he doesn’t know Sunni from Shi’a. Turns out that he thinks the Surge started at least a year before it did. Turns out that he doesn’t even know of the existence if Iran. Turns out that Iraqi Prime Ministers think Obama knows more about their country than McCain does. Turns out that Obama is adored around the world – a trait that even neo-cons have to concede is useful for crafting foreign policy.
So, really this election isn’t like “whatever”. It’s totally like this.
Even McCain’s base recognizes that the only way he stands a chance is to go as negative as he possibly can, but it’s becoming increasing clear that America is so sick of business as usual that they actually prefer the black, not-black-enough, muslim, atheist, black liberation theology, elitist, hick from nowhere, who’s way too popular, anti-gun, militant, stubborn, flip-flopper who’s going to implement a secret grand agenda of skipping out on votes.
“a mighty roar” huh?
Sorry Pegs, it doesn’t take much to set the boys at Buffalo Chip to howlin’.
They cheered the idea of a topless Cindy McCain didn’t they? Trust me, they would have cheered the prospect of Peggy Noonan stripping down to her foundation garments and granny panties.
They are there to be entertained; they are very easily entertained. If you show them titties, talk about titties, or imply that there might be visible titties in their near future; you’ll have that crowd on your side.
One of the mechanics at my father’s motorcycle shop took all the little square mirrors off of a disco mirror ball and painstakingly glued them onto his dome style helmet. It was a sight to see during the daytime.
I’ll bet it looked fabulous in headlights.
HarleyOH MY GOD HERE COMES AN S PUT IN AN APOSTROPHEs
Please give now to support research into apostrophe abuse.
I don’t think you really understand how brilliant this thing with the 50,000 Harleys is. McCain manages to pander to the stupidest collection of white people he can find, and waste tons of gas at the same time.
Republican strategy at its finest.
HarleyOH MY GOD HERE COMES AN S PUT IN AN APOSTROPHEs
In the small redneck town that I was raised in, many people would refer to any business or product using the possessive. For example, “Wal-Mart” was called “Wal-Mart’s” – possibly hearkening back to the days when stores were owned by people. Crayola Crayons were called “Crayola’s” instead of the crayons.
Actually this is a phrase coined by Gertrude Stein to refer to Oakland, California, where she lived for a time. I’m sure at least some of her readers caught this ever-so-subtle reference to heavily African-American Oakland. It’s kinda like “San Francisco Values,” but on the other side of the Bay.
I dunno. I’m ready for some more of the good old Pam and Michelle show.
Coulter seems to have dropped out – likely made enough money and is now shoving it up her nose as fast as humanly possible.
But nothing amuses like the Sadly take on Crazy Pam on a righteous kill-em-all rant or the malkin thing spluttering with rage over something inconsequential.
For whatever it’s worth, I enjoy them more than noonan, k-lo and goldberg…
mikey
In the small redneck town that I was raised in, many people would refer to any business or product using the possessive.
The same was true in the small redneck town where I was raised, and I see it a fair amount in the medium-sized redneck town where I now live (Salt Lake City). Even the nearby hospital, Primary Children’s Medical Center, gets that treatment – I heard one woman who works there refer to herself as “Karen over to Primary’s”. That “over to” in place of “at” or “from” is a mainstay of Utonics.
As for Nooners, I know her “Political Cycles” title is meant to be a clever little pun, but it has to be weighing on her mind that the Reagan Revolution is falling apart. She keeps the game face on for her columns, but it shows.
OFF TOPIC: Apparently Edwards just admitted to the affair, according to ABC news.
Thanks so very much, Edwards, for vindicating every muck-raking neo-con blogger in America.
But I don’t know many real bikers who wear Wehrmacht helmets anymore. Bikers hate helmets, period. California’s laws require helmets, so most bikers go for the minimum requirement and wear the “brain bucket” dome style.
These guys appear to wear the German-style style, but part of their phony Christian biker schtick is to “ride safe”
7 Christian bikers arrested in Orange County raid
Thanks so very much, Edwards, for vindicating every muck-raking neo-con blogger in America.
No big deal, he’s not running for president. A prominent republican adulterer is.
FYWP.
> OFF TOPIC: Apparently Edwards just admitted to the affair, according to ABC news.
Takin’ out the Trash on Friday afternoon…
Ann Coulter’s column is still running every week in the Right-Wing Rag I work for. This week, I think it was about how the Liberal Media was ignoring the John Edwards story that appeared in National Enquirer, and if it had been a National Enquirer story about a Republican – like, say, about George W. Bush was drinking again and also having an affair with Condoleezza Rice and Laura Bush was leaving him – then the MSM/Liberal Media would have been all over it.
Something like that. I blacked out. (I much prefer Mallard Fillmore because he reads quicker.)
This is a woman who thinks God sent dolphins to save Elian Gonzalez. Who thinks Reagan belongs on Mount Rushmore. It would be a surprise if she ever wrote anything that wasn’t smarmy verging on batshit crazy.
You gotta earn that Berlin moment, which Obama didn’t, as you can see from the two hundred thousand people who showed up to cheer for him. It’s funny, but Noonan and Krauthammer are big into the whole “the value of anything is what the buyer is willing to pay for it” idea, no?
I think it’s funny how people who ride shiny $25,000 paintshakers are seen as Men of the People of the Salt of the Earth, but those of us who get around on $7000 Suzukis and the like are derided as liberal urban élitists.
Oops, I guess I just gave myself way. Damn you, accent aigu!
paintshakers
That’s a good word.
Lord Jesus, Edwards! WTF?
All I have to say is, Obama had better make damn certain that his VP pick hasn’t had electroshock.
Obama had better make damn certain that his VP pick hasn’t had electroshock.
Ha ha! Pedestrian’s OLD!
I however am simply mature.
Poop!
No big deal, he’s not running for president. A prominent republican adulterer is.
Agreed, though it does help to torpedo any chance Edwards had of being the VP pick. Or maybe not – in the interest of post-partisanship, a Democrat who adulters like a Republican might pull a few votes from across the aisle.
Shorter Sadly, No!:
“…so you see, if Micky Kaus has no proof that he doesn’t have a goat fetish then, applying his Edwards ‘scandal’ logic, we can conclude…
…ermm….
hmmm…
Never mind!
I don’t care. He’s still a faggot.
Silver lining: Goopers will spend every waking hour getting their jollies on this Edwards story instead of focusing on, you know, a guy actually running.
Unsilver lining: Edwards is a supreme dipshit. Wow.
The fact is, Barack Obama may be speaking of guns and God and bikes de haute en bas, but he tried to pile Pelion on Ossa now he’s sulking like Achilles in his tent when he isn’t busy reeling from forth day’s path and Titan’s fiery wheels. He just can’t connect with honest, hardworking salt-of-the-earth heartlanders, and if the salt loses its flavour, mone sale wherewith shall it be salted?
No shock here.
That Edwards thing always seemed pretty plausible to me.
They all do it.
Bottom line: all politicians are scum who would throw their mother off a cliff for a percentage point or a pair of panties.
Still, it might have been nice for them to back off a private citizen and his cancer-stricken wife.
It would have been almost…human.
Michael Scherer said,
August 8, 2008 at 21:59
That was awesome.
I’m not sure, but I think goober just proved that you guys were right about Mickey Kaus.
I care more about the Edwards thing ’cause it will have all the Heh-Indeed crowd crowing about the loss of moral compass of the LIE-buruls.
It is truly a morally repugnant thing to do, and I think the Progressive Left should condemn it. Everyone should be out in front of this calling it what it is: morally wrong and despicable. There should be no cries of “McCain did it too, hey look at Vitter, Wide Stance et al.” Get out in front of it and condemn.
No excuses, no mercy, Edwards (one of my picks) should be done with politics, for good.
Your mileage, of course, may vary.
John Edwards should be ashamed of himself. What kind of man would take up with another woman while his wife has cancer??
I’m not sure, but I think goober just proved that you guys were right about Mickey Kaus.
Speaking of which, look what I found.
What kind of man would take up with another woman while his wife has cancer??
Umm, what about when the lady got banged up in a bad accident? Asking for a friend.
To all the people I’ve called ‘stupid’ and ‘ignorant’ for calling John Edwards a liar, I apologize. You were correct.
John, I have a nice private life.
Please don’t EVER try to run for national office again.
Seems to me that this Ruppertised format is sufficiently distinct from the Shorter format to deserve recognition in its own right, and not need the usual attribution.
However, I am not a copyright lawyer.
eek! the nutscapery of her 10,000 foot vision. Obamas Berlin “bridge too
far” is trounced as McSturgis panders Cindys’ 100 million dollar haunches to a beery throng. Next up: Girls Gone Wild: the Straight
Talk Express on South Padre Island!
Could someone pass the brain bleach?
John Edwards should be ashamed of himself. What kind of man would take up with another woman while his wife has cancer??
Completely different. My mistress was only drawn to my power and money. Edwards can still bring them in with raw animal lust. It isn’t really adultery unless the woman involved derives some sexual gratification from it.
Who do you want, Mr Untried, or Mr Tired?
John McCain, he’s the real Old American.
Thanks for the framing help Nooner.
-GSD
You can rate Peggy’s work here: http://forums.wsj.com/viewtopic.php?t=3623
Why do horndogs run for office? Stay a lawyer or whatever if you can’t keep it zipped. It’s just not that difficult.
Dear Newt,
Call me.
Love,
Deb
Thanks Tom!
Went over and reviewed all sorts of crazy WSJ opinion crap, finding it all Not Worth Reading and wishing for the ability to register a zero-star rating.
You don’t have to read a thing, just click through the next link and give it 1-star.
Each time you do, you’ll get just a little bit happier.
I guess goober thinks that the NE’s fake photos and unsourced assertions are the same thing as CBS’s coverage of Edwards confession. The Enquirer story was that Edwards had a kid outside of his marriage, which isn’t true. Why the fuck should we feel at all bad about disbelieving that story? It wasn’t actually true, dumbass.
If you put your faith in the crackerjack reporting at the NE, goober, do you also believe that Bush has been drinking for most of his Presidency? Was he having an affair with Rice? Have aliens been plugging the assholes of rednecks throughout the nation? And finally, does Mickey Kaus indeed blow goats?
Test – Peggy Noonan is McCain swoonin’
The daring and exciting European trip was probably a wash, and possibly a mistake in the bridge-too-far sense
I must have missed the part where Obama parachuted into the Netherlands to secure the Arnhem bridge, only to be evacuated with heavy losses after 10 days of bitter fighting, after reinforcements were unable to reach him.
Test 2 – Noonan Peggy is non-egg-heady
Oops, that was an ABC story, not CBS. No matter, those liberal-lovers can’t be trusted anyway. Not like the rock-solid reporting of the Pulitzer winning National Enquirer.
The Enquirer story was that Edwards had a kid outside of his marriage, which isn’t true. Why the fuck should we feel at all bad about disbelieving that story? It wasn’t actually true, dumbass.
I didn’t believe it on the word of the NE and I still don’t. I’m not so certain it isn’t true.
The kid out of wedlock is just the manure spread on the already steaming shit sandwich that Edwards just served up.
What an asshole. With his previous lies about the affair, why would you think he’s telling the truth about the kid?
Really, what a douche.
Considering that his admission has already doomed any chance he had to regain any national office, I don’t see why he’d continue lying about his alleged kid. If we’re gonna go the “Edwards can never ever be believed about anything,” route, then how can we believe his denials that he is the mastermind behind the Bali bombings? Should we take the word of this lier that he’s not, in fact, Magneto in disguise?
As soon as someone proves that it’s his kid, I’ll believe it. Until then, well, who really gives two shits about this has-been? His career is done, so screw ‘im. The jackass.
I will say that I’m very very glad he didn’t get the nomination though, and I feel like a chump for supporting him, but what can you do? I’d still take him over McCain in a heartbeat.
Re: Edwards,
yeah yeah, let the wingers crow.
It doesn’t matter a damn because Edwards isn’t the nominee.
Since he’s not, I have no reason to care.
I’d still take him over McCain in a heartbeat.
Bill Clinton would have won another term. I really don’t believe it’s the deal-breaker pundits believe it is.
Bill Clinton would have won another term. I really don’t believe it’s the deal-breaker pundits believe it is.
Absolutely. It’s just another side effect of pundits’ obsessions with celebrity, personality and the dirtiness of sex.
Small stuff, and there will be a lot of twists and turns before this is over, but there’s movement down there beneath the crust of the Earth.”
Morlocks on the move.
Why do horndogs run for office?
Successful candidates for high office have to be somewhat charismatic, extroverted or at least social, and driven. Being a clever schemer doesn’t hurt either. Will all these attributes of their job, in addition to the stress, I’m actually surprised that more of them don’t have affairs.
Yep. These days the Harley©®™ demographic consists primarily of dentists from Newport Beach and financial analysts from Evanston. Plus the occasional nail-salon owner from Plano.
And they’re just looking for titties and beer.
I feel like a chump for supporting him, but what can you do?
Why? How were you supposed to know about this?
Yeah, I’m not totally convinced that having an affair is a total career-kill nowadays. When Eliot Spitzer resigned, Lt. Gov. David Paterson basically said “yes, I’ve had affairs too, so what” and nobody really seemed to bat an eye.
Still totally disappointed that he’d cheat on someone with cancer, though. That’s basically despicable.
Will all these attributes of their job, in addition to the stress, I’m actually surprised that more of them don’t have affairs.
Well, there are also people drawn to such people. I say here and now that with the right quantity of liquor in me I would fuck a president, all sex and gender issues aside, just because.
Seems kind of cheap to do someone who’s just running for the job though.
I kinda wish McCain would do more Sturgis type appearances. I was really quite energized by his attempts to excite the crowd. “We’re going to drill here! Drill now! Drill here!! Drill now!!” and “We’re going to win the war, by doing it the right way! By winning!” The more sound bites featuring McCain looking and sounding like a frothy lunatic who has trouble with his command of the English language is fine by me.
I was just mentally comparing those McCain moments to Dean’s “I have a shriek” moment which killed his campaign. Man… Kind of not even in the same ballpark. What does it take to get a Republican pubcially ridiculed in this country, anyway?
I’m not totally convinced that having an affair is a total career-kill nowadays.
I agree, but if Edwards were the nominee it’d be a titanic pain in the ass to get the screaming heads to talk about anything other than the affair. I’m happy with how hard Obama seems to be trying to discuss matters of substance, and you just know that the chattering class is looking for (and generally finding) anything else to talk about.
I think Clinton’s surge in popularity was backlash against the year-long media blizzard as well as the Reknobs shutting down the government so they could talk about Clinton’s cock endlessly. I see the Edwards situation as being more like Gary Hart’s.
I don’t mean I’m wailing and gnashing my teeth or anything, but the fact remains that my chosen candidate would have lost to McCain. At least, I think so, but thankfully we’ll never know.
Don’t worry, I comfort myself with the thought that I’m not as gullible as the people earning $20k a year who thought the Bush tax cuts would help them. Or that Saddam did 9/11, or had huge stockpiles of WMDs, or that the Iraqis would greet us with flowers, etc. etc. etc.
I see the Edwards situation as being more like Gary Hart’s.
Bingo! I knew I’d seen this all somewhere before.
you just know that the chattering class is looking for (and generally finding) anything else to talk about.
…All the pundits you could hang ’em / I’d hold the rope…
John Edwards’ John Thomas: The Clenis™ of the New Millennium!
Hey, at least Edwards didn’t knife those teenagers out by the railroad tracks. That should count for somethin’.
…I’m actually surprised that more of them don’t have affairs.
Hell, they pretty much ALL do. People screw. The staff down at the insurance office screw. The guys at the Spee Dee Oil Change screw. The docs and nurses at the ER screw. It’s only our bizarre-o puritanical culture where a two second glimpse of a nipple is fodder for five years of frantic discussion and legal action that makes it anything more than what it is, which is nothing.
In Europe they’re laughing at us. Sure, there are more sexually repressed cultures than the US, but they are pretty good at just not mentioning that anybody is screwing. Or just killing them for it. In the US, it somehow plays into our politics, from JFK to Gary Hart to Bill Clinton (IMPEACHMENT, for fucks sake!!) to John Edwards.
To me it’s just as stupid as the military kicking out desperately needed translators because they’re gay. Who you screw has NO bearing on how you do your job. It really has nothing to do with anything at all except, well, your sex life.
But we keep randomly disqualifying all sorts of people from public policy positions, not actually for screwing, no no, but for getting caught screwing.
Monumentally stupid…
mikey
He did toss Gandy Baugh off the roof of the 113 story Chicago Comptroller building, though…
I kinda like that in his statement he said this:
You heard the man — have at him.
Well, yeah, there was that.
At least he hasn’t made Elizabeth come out and stand next to him while he tears up for the cameras…. yet.
And, knock on wood, none of the sex occurred in a mensroom stall.
You’re right, mikey — everybody fucks. Well, except, apparently, for K-Lo and the Virgin Ben. The problem with Edwards seems to me to be essentially the same problem Clinton had: don’t fucking lie about it. Don’t tell reporters flat-out that all rumors of an affair are lies when they’re not. That’s just stupid. You will eventually get caught, and when you do, it’s the lies that destroy you.
Know what I’d like to see? I’d like to see every politician, every celebrity, every single person who’s asked by titillated media types about what they’re doing with their genitalia to look ’em straight in the eye and say “It’s none of your goddamned business.” I’d like to see them say that regardless of the truth. It would rock for someone to say that even though the story IS a lie. Know why? ‘Cause it’s none of our goddamned business.
So, wonder when the news of Obama’s affairs will break. Remember that the Enquirer has also been on the trail of stories about the Obama marriage crumbling.
No diapers either. That’s the Democrats problem: no creativity.
The fact is, it is quote sweet to see a liberal hero discgraced in this way, for his immorality, and to see that the liberals so quickly turn on their own, as they always do. This gives me hope as we will soon find evidence of Obama raping women while high on coke, as well as the drug-crazed faggotry exposed by John Sinclair which you leftists try to ignore. We will win. You’ve got nothing on McCain, nothing.
Will the Enquirer break that story by publishing fake photos as well?
At least we know that McCain hasn’t had any recent affairs, since the Viagra dose he’d need would explode his heart, and frankly his hips can’t take that kind of exertion.
…now he’s sulking like Achilles in his tent …
Achilles?
Homer?!?
The Illiad?!?!?
Read a BOOK!
You’ve got nothing on McCain, nothing.
This is a true statement.
We’ve got nothing on McCain because McCain’s got, well, nothing to offer.
Nothing new. No ideas. No hope. No change. Just more of the same.
Nothing is what McCain has…
mikey
McCain is the candidate who offers sanity, energy independence, and safety, Obama only offers $10 gas and surrender
The fact is, McCain has got none of the dirt that the liberals have. He is an upstanding honest man who is tru to USA Freedom principles, unlike liberals who want to destroy America.
The fact is, I have the front cover of a National Enquirer highlighting Obama’s gay affair(s) up on my fridge. It’s a good conversation piece.
Also, what’s with Fake Gary up there without the The Fact Is?
…the liberals so quickly turn on their own, as they always do.
Yes, being held accountable for their hypocrisy and lies is probably the most terrifying thing a Republican can imagine.
Same as Mobsters.
“Know what I’d like to see? I’d like to see every politician, every celebrity, every single person who’s asked by titillated media types about what they’re doing with their genitalia to look ‘em straight in the eye and say “It’s none of your goddamned business.” I’d like to see them say that regardless of the truth. It would rock for someone to say that even though the story IS a lie. Know why? ‘Cause it’s none of our goddamned business.”
If I’m not mistaken didn’t bush 1 say exactly that when asked about an affair?
I am not sure if I should be proud or ashamed to say this, but “sulking like Achilles in his tent” was totally intended to allude to Handy in The Tick. That’s one of the things I like so much about Sadly, No! Although most of the links make me want to say read a book!
So the repuks are crowing? Over what? That Edwards’ affair was with an adult woman and not a child, that he didn’t have to pay for it because it was so weird (cough, diapers, cough) and it wasn’t with another guy in a public bathroom? Edwards is an asshole and I hope his political career is over, but he’s still a few steps above Vitter or Craig or Foley or any of the rest of the repuk creep-squad.
If I’m not mistaken didn’t bush 1 say exactly that when asked about an affair?
Oh, probably. But it worked, see?
Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of the Joan Allen character in, what was it, The Contender?
Peggy sez, “One of my [elite, white]] ‘liberal’ [= to the left of John Ashcroft or Atilla the Hun] press pals sez Obama’s ‘arrogant’.” Uppity Negro!
“I came to Obama’s defense and said no, he just has high ‘self regard'” =Negro who doesn’t know his place. Thanks Peggy, you really are a generous, kind hearted representative of our ruling pundit class.
Oh, come on. Give me a break.
John Edwards is NOT an “asshole”. He’s another politician who got caught with his dick in the wrong woman, and he denied it of course, but if you want to buy into the narrative that says that negates all the good he’s done and all the good HE STILL COULD DO, you go right ahead.
This is a good man, a man with much to contribute, being pilloried for about the stupidest reason I can think of. We’ve lost something incredibly valuable, for no real reason at all. All the crap about “Judgment” and “values” is exactly that – crap. If you don’t think John Edwards has much to contribute to public policy fine, but I think you’d find yourself in the minority.
It’s interesting how we freak out about sex but equivocate about bribery, fraud and kickbacks. Guess you know what’s important in the good old USA.
I’m sad. I’d welcome John Edwards back into the national discourse, but of course that simply can’t be allowed to happen…
mikey
1. It should be noted that this year’s Sturgis rally is the least attended in probably 20 years. Not necessarily McCain’s fault, but McCain, Kid Rock, ZZ Top and Lynyrd Skynyrd combined, whoa Nelly that’s somnambulance personified.
2. Handy it’s always good to see a Tick reference
John Edwards is a trial lawyer who cheated on his wife because he is a Loge-esque narcissist. John McCain, much like Ulysses, is a war hero who only cheated on his wife because she was horribly disfigured and hadn’t inherited a huge fortune. Rural Americans from America’s heartland intuitively relate to the subtle je ne sais quoi distinguishing the two, while liberals are too busy posturing ridiculously like nurses at a Tithenidia.
I mean, uh, yee-hah!
“That’s right Peggy, white Harley riders in South Fucking Dakota represent the political center in this country.”
Actually, blue-collar metric cruiser riders probably represent the political center in this country.
Harley? Not so much. Because they are **so** goddamn expensive–and patriotic.
On the other hand I swim in the BMW sport tourer school of fishes, and those bastards have some fuckin money, okay? Yikes. And they do not fetishize the Yoo Ess Ay, thus appropriately representing our multi-national corporate overlords.
> So, wonder when the news of Obama’s affairs will break.
Fat chance, fake Ruppert. If ANYTHING untoward had happened, you think the Clintons wouldn’t have found out about it six months ago?
Why do horndogs run for office?
Successful candidates for high office have to be somewhat charismatic, extroverted or at least social, and driven.
Not to mention egomaniacs full to the gills with male privilege who start to believe their own sycophants speak the truth. Like someone else said, I’m surprised it doesn’t happen more often.
Yeah, I’m not totally convinced that having an affair is a total career-kill nowadays. When Eliot Spitzer resigned, Lt. Gov. David Paterson basically said “yes, I’ve had affairs too, so what” and nobody really seemed to bat an eye.
On the other hand, I wonder what public reaction would be like if Hillary Clinton or Nancy Pelosi made such an admission. Oh dear. One of the things we mean when we speak of Teh Patriarchy.
I say here and now that with the right quantity of liquor in me I would fuck a president, all sex and gender issues aside, just because.
When Big Dawg was first elected in 1992 despite his zipper trouble, I remember some woman saying “Hell, I’d suck his dick right now just for being there to preserve a woman’s right to choose!” Wasn’t me who said it, but I totally agreed.
…the liberals so quickly turn on their own, as they always do.
Yes. Whereas if we tried to defend the indefensible we’d be demonized for being hypocrites and blah blah blah blah.
[sigh] I hate being late to a thread and basically sitting around commenting to myself.
On the other hand, I wonder what public reaction would be like if Hillary Clinton or Nancy Pelosi made such an admission. Oh dear. One of the things we mean when we speak of Teh Patriarchy.
That’s a good point. Have there been any woman politicians that have been caught/admitted to cheating on their husband? I can’t think of any off the top of my head, so I’m curious to what the public reaction really would be there.
John Edwards is NOT an “asshole”.
mikey: Yes he is. He may have done some good stuff, but a guy who has an affair while claiming how in love with and solidly devoted to his cancer-stricken wife he is, then lies about it and equivocates and does the usual narcissistic bullshit dance about it, is, by definition, an asshole.
Have there been any woman politicians that have been caught/admitted to cheating on their husband? I can’t think of any off the top of my head, so I’m curious to what the public reaction really would be there.
Dunno. I imagine burning at the stake, or public stoning. Then again, no harm to her political career.
I suppose I can accept that, MzNicky, if you want.
But it seems to me that if one personal mistake that harms only your loved ones qualifies you as an “asshole” and somehow reduces the value you bring to your tribe and your community, then the problem is we’re all assholes. Each and every one of us.
To me, it kind of reduces the utility of the epithet…
mikey
You’re right, mikey — everybody fucks. Well, except, apparently, for K-Lo and the Virgin Ben.
But how do you know? I maintain that K-L is a secret S&M fetishist.
USA Freedom Principles Sounds like the kind of song title Mark E Smith would come out with. Expect it on the next Fall Album (right after ‘Chronic Lego Stomp’)
Rep. Helen Chenoweth (R-Idaho) — but it was basically OK because she was a big fan of militias and a bible thumper like nobody’s business. And of course, one of the first and loudest bleaters about the Clenis.
John Edwards is NOT an “asshole”. He’s another politician who got caught with his dick in the wrong woman, and he denied it of course, but if you want to buy into the narrative that says that negates all the good he’s done and all the good HE STILL COULD DO, you go right ahead.
This is basically my take.
I suppose I can accept that, MzNicky, if you want.
I neither want nor do not want you to accept it. I’m simply disagreeing with you.
But it seems to me that if one personal mistake that harms only your loved ones qualifies you as an “asshole”…
It’s not “one personal mistake” and it didn’t harm “only” his “loved ones” (as if that somehow were a minor consideration). “One personal mistake” would be a one-night stand with a hooker, for example. What we’ve got here is a behavioral pattern redolent of deception, falseness, caddishness, selfishness, and gross disrespect for the feelings of others, at the least. It hurts Democrats and liberals and he knew it would if it ever came out, yet he did it anyway.
Edwards always reminded me of a particularly smarmy televangelist, so I admit I never liked him to begin with. How ignominious an end for him that he now winds up in the same company of such cancer-ridden wife betrayers as Newt Gingrich. It’s saddening and disgusting.
It’s saddening and disgusting.
You should stop paying attention then.
FYWPx2.
Head to Kos and read what Elizabeth Edwards has to say and then maybe we should clam up about it.
I feel this way about questioning politicians about their religious beliefs, too. It’s nobody’s goddamned business.
I’ll agree with this to a point, and the fact of her illness is what bothers me about the affair the most. (Along with the idea of him being that stupid.) On the other hand, I’ll say what I said about the Clintons: We are outsiders looking in. We don’t know anything about the dynamic of the Edwards marriage. For all we know, Elizabeth didn’t mind. I doubt it, but we don’t know. And it’s none of our business, it’s their business.
And I can personally attest that is is totally possible to love the person you’re married to or in a relationship with and still succumb to a momentary – or even prolonged – temptation.
It’s weird hearing this, though, because all the talk in Iowa during the caucuses both times was that the Edwards really did seem to still be “into” each other in a very sweet, romantic kind of way. All I guess I know for sure is that the whole thing really sucks.
Head to Kos and read what Elizabeth Edwards has to say and then maybe we should clam up about it.
Yes.
And I’ll add, I truly admire Elizabeth Edwrads, unreservedly. She seems like a fine human being.
Yep, I’m gonna have to disagree with you too, MzN.
On a scale of 1-10, where people routinely call for “air strikes” like they are any other expression of policy, where they negotiate for “sanctions” that bring about the slow deaths of the weakest members of the sanctioned society, where they heartlessly veto funding so sick kids have to die because their parents aren’t wealthy enough, a fucking love affair is a .00001.
If this is the worst thing edwards did, and sarkozy and putin are still in power and cheney is a respected figure and karl rove is on tv?
I just can’t process it. As transgressions go, it just doesn’t move the needle…
mikey
“The fact is, it is quote sweet to see a liberal hero discgraced in this way, for his immorality, and to see that the liberals so quickly turn on their own, as they always do.”
Fake Gary has a great point. We liberals actually care about character, ethics, and such things. Right-wingers know this, and they routinely play us for suckers. Anytime they crow about this, we give them a little history lesson re: Ike and his Brit driver.
Re: sarkozy, putin, cheney and rove: “Mass-murdering psychopath” does not equal “asshole.”
As transgressions go, it just doesn’t move the needle.
It does for me.