The Stupidening II: Conservatives get more stupidened

Does those people ever stop talking about sex? Yeesh…

When Jill Sobule released her song based on the same concept, was there as much agita about it?

And I frankly prefer Sobule’s in any case. She kissed the girl, liked it, and had zero angst. This new one is a chick freaking out about whether her boyfriend would be annoyed and how good girls don’t do that sort of thing. Spare me the heteronormative emo bullshit.

“My iTunes library has its share of secular music intermingled among the latest Christian tunes, and Podcasts of every shape and size, but I just can’t handle this one.”

Dude, you should totally download “Exile in Guyville” and/or “Rid of Me.” You’ll totally dig them both!

“How long will all these media moguls be allowed to sit around board room tables and make decisions that alter the healthy development of our nation’s kids?”

In a free-market society? Forever. Or until the money runs out. That was easy.

This song was dissected on one of the feminist boards (Pandagon? Feministe? –don’t remember), and the consensus was that it was a piece of fluff written from a decidedly heteronormative viewpoint, as Blue Raven said above.

In any case, Elmer Gantry fulminated about dance halls (while humping anything in skirts that stood still). Every generation of Christofascists has to have its own personal sexual bogeyman.

I’ve never gotten the hatred these people have for independent women. Then again, I’ve never gotten the hatred you fauxgressives have for us, either, so there ya go.

I can’t see how it is going to make a blind bit of difference.. At least half of all teenage girls have kissed another girl already. There is little social taboo against girls experimenting in that way. Infact, it is pretty much encouraged whenever teenage boys are watching.

For someone who supposedly works with young people, he knows very little about them. I can only suppose his own youth was spent locked in the cupboard under the stairs.

Quit trying to turn me into a lesbian… I think it’s working…

I think Johnnie is absolutely right. I couldn’t get a date in high school because all the chicks in my high school were lesbians in the 1970s because of “All the Young Girls Love Alice” by Elton John. It’s true! What other explanation could there possibly be?

Help me! I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body!

Oh, by the way, Katy Perry’s real name is Katy Hudson. You might remember her from the 2001 album bearing her name on Red Hill records; it was a Christian album.

Ya see? Following in the footsteps of our Lord and Savior leads you directly to the nether regions, where umm, yucky stuff happens and umm, you shouldn’t kiss and stuff.

I thought Jesus was supposed to lead us into the light and here we find ourselves lip-locked in non-heteronormative ways.

Jesus weeps.

From the California Supreme Court’s decisions regarding marriage, to the skyrocketing popularity of this song, to the nearly non-stop introduction of the homosexual agenda into almost every facet of our culture, we are facing the rise of the most homosexually friendly generation in history.

Alright! Right on! Preach it brother! Oh wait, you’re trying to say this is a bad thing. And that’s because…umm…because… Fuck, I don’t understand how tolerance and acceptance of homosexuality (even with the “I kissed a Sheik” photo) could possibly be bad.

And yet, many of teh gays think that Katy Perry’s songs are anti-gay. Perhaps the one thing we can all agree on, gay or straight, liberal or conservative, is that Katy Perry’s music is fucking insipid.

I liked the older version. It was peppy and featured Fabio in the music video.

This new one is just a guy’s fantasy instead of a girl kissing a girl cause that’s what gets her off.

My favorite:

Pee-ice de re-zitz-tawns.

k.d. > KT > Katy

and WordPress = shit sandwich

Ah, I think I understand now. He is firmly against any mention of the icky things teh gays do, because it is quite clear to him that such pornographic filth can turn straight people gay.

After all.. he is completely straight, but reading Bob Allen’s arrest report gave him a hard on, and he had to pray till it went away.

Can I just say how WordPress sucks?

And I totally love the Sobule song. The Perry song is dull boring, formulaic, and designed to make hetero young men desire a threesome with 2 hot girls gone wild.

OTOH, The Sobule song might make any intelligent girl go gay.

When Jill Sobule released her song based on the same concept, was there as much agita about it?

Probably, though we didn’t have the Internet to shove the agita in our faces.

And I frankly prefer Sobule’s in any case. She kissed the girl, liked it, and had zero angst.

Plus the music is better. Sure, it’s bubble-pop, but it’s *fun* bubble-pop. Perry’s song is crap. It’s either too fast or too slow (not sure which), and she screeches.

This sort of sums the whole thing up.

[In hopes that this isn’t a repeat post]

In case anyone’s been having trouble loading this site for about the past 45 minutes or so, it’s because there was a frontpage link from Kos to a week-old post (“Throughline” from July 26th). I myself couldn’t get the site to load at all until just now.

The Great Orange Satan strikes again.

I’ll try one more time on this one:

This sort of sums the whole Katy Perry phenomenon up.

Not that they’re current or anything, but let’s hope he never discovers CWA. No, not the Concerned Women – the other CWA.

The fact is, I’ll just say, a big ‘ thank you’ and ‘Chow!’ — WOW! — Someone’s gotta leave, someone’s gotta leave and it’s gotta be Now!

Goddamn WordPress.

It’s not only eating comments but if I try to repost the spam filter starts freaking out.

I’m going to try and C&P the text here, and if there’s repeat posts, I apologize.

The Perry song is dull boring, formulaic, and designed to make hetero young men desire a threesome with 2 hot girls gone wild.

On the nosey– it really does have this smirky Girls Gone Wild vibe, especially the video (though in a goofy PG way).

Jill Sobule’s song has a much more fun video (with Fabio, yet).

What Blue Raven said. “I Kissed A Girl” isn’t popular for any reasons besides why “Love In This Club” was popular. I am mystified that kids today would take to either.

This weekend there will be many thousands of young girls who will “playfully” choose to “kiss a girl to try it” after they are nonchalantly coaxed by this “fluffy” hit.

Johnnie will be in his “sanctum santorumsanctorum” with a bottle of “holy” oil, “genuflecting”.

Fucking Orange Satan.

WTF? The preview showed the strikethrough on “santorum”.

I’ve never heard the song in question but I looked at the picture and now I have “Last of the Famous International Playboys,” stuck in my head.

In order to get the full picture of the implications of this number one hit you might consider following around an average middle school or high school student this weekend.

Um. I’m not a parent but I’ve got two younger sisters but that passage makes me want to gather several guns, a chain saw and some concrete.

Well, I heard the song and it didn’t make me a lesbian.
How come the hundreds, possibly thousands of songs I’ve heard about heterosexual relationships didn’t make me straight?
How come the multidude of hetero movie and tv and literary characters I’ve been exposed to over the years didn’t make me straight?
How come waste-of-space jackass guys like Johjnnie Moore don’t make me wanna give up being interested in guys-you’d think if anything would do it, that’d be it.

I meant to write “mutitude”, of course. Although now that I read it, I’m dying to find a way to actually USE “multidude’ in a sentence fo real.

Bleeping corporate webfilter software…

From the California Supreme Court’s decisions regarding marriage, to the skyrocketing popularity of this song, to the nearly non-stop introduction of the homosexual agenda into almost every facet of our culture, we are facing the rise of the most homosexually friendly generation in history.

It’s almost like he’s having homosexuality forced down his throat. Really hard.

The Perry song is…designed to make hetero young men desire a threesome with 2 hot girls gone wild.

You say that like it’s a bad thing.

The Talmud says that R. Yochanan was so hawt he could turn straight men gay (I forget the citation — it’s in Baba Metzia somewhere … right after they talk about how morbidly obese the other Rabbis were, but how well hung they were as well) … R. Yochanan was also so hawt that the top paid prostitutes in the ancient near east (the real whores of Babylon) were willing to pay him (and twice their usual rate) to sleep with him.

OTOH, up until the time I met my wife the most passionate kiss I ever had was with a lesbian (she was desparate for chewing gum, I was chewing my last stick of gum): the kiss did not turn her straight … but I guess it turned me into a lesbian as I am married to a woman. Oh wait a minute … I’m a guy, so I guess it just means I’m straight.

Give her yam? I don’t get it — is that some sort of British sexual innuendo?

…we are facing the rise of the most homosexually friendly generation in history.

I dunno, I’ve met plenty of friendly gay people before.

anonymous 37: y-a-r-n

“YARN”, anonymous 37. I guess in lower-case, the “r” and “n” together look like an “m”.
yarn
yam
yeah…they kinda do.

[…] all it takes to turn someone lesbian is a snappy hit record on the charts (with a bullet?), why don’t the fundies harness the power of music and make everyone […]

What’s interesting is that this song isn’t really about lesbianism at all. It’s target is clearly straight males titilated by lesbians of the lipstick or “lug” (lesbian until graduation) variety. She didn’t do it for any reason relating to sexual identity, she did it to freak out her boyfriend.

Imagine if the genders were reversed in this song. We’d have never heard of it.

I am reminded of the words of Chuck Klosterman: roughly, “The lawyer tried to say that those two kids’ listening to Judas Priest’s ‘Suicide Solution’ convinced them to kill themselves. I listened to Judas Priest’s ‘Suicide Solution’ and it didn’t even convince me to buy the album.”

The Perry song is dull boring, formulaic, and designed to make hetero young men desire a threesome with 2 hot girls gone wild. ,/i.

I don’t think the song has anything to do with that, to be honest.

YaRN. Okay, that makes a lot more sense. I was envisioning a bartering system, where yaMs were traded for homosexuals.

Can we use one of the gayifying songs on Johnnie Moore? Cuz he’s hawt.

I’ll give you eleven sweet potatoes for Linsay Lohan.

Get back to me quick, these spuds ain’t gonna last forever…

mikey

When, oh when, will there be songs about heterosexuality to balance out this landslide of gay fagginess in our pop music?

Blaming music/TV ads/movies for “turning” you gay is like blaming the ax for making you go that that murder spree in the retirement home. Too stupid a concept to even be worth the effort to mock it.

Swear to god, I selected the Katy Perry song to play on itunes right before before I read this post. Next song on the list is Offspring’s ‘Hammerhead’.

Apparently, homosexuality is more contagious than scarlet fever. It has so many vectors, after all: seemingly every aspect of pop culture can transmit Teh Ghey. There’s only one solution: all of these hothouse flowers of American heterosexuality must immediately build underground, hermetically-sealed cities. These vaults will protect them from the evil contagion raging across America, so they’ll never have to come into contact with gayness ever again.

In fact, the sooner they seal themselves off from the world, the better. Get right on it, Johnnie Moore!

I know Prince is responsible for a whole generation of women masterbating with magazines in hotel lobbies and I can’t thank him enough for that

“Query?”

Prince is responsible for a whole generation of women masturbating with magazines in hotel lobbies and I can’t think him enough

Blaming music/TV ads/movies for “turning” you gay is like blaming the ax for making you go that that murder spree in the retirement home.

Just one teeny little difference though, there’s nothing wrong with being gay.

Umm, there’s really nothing wrong with the axe either…

mikey

Former magician turned youth pastor? Seriously?

I’m not saying I would support this stupid, hateful nonsense coming from anyone, but damn it, can’t I just ONCE be presented with an anti-homosexual screed that wasn’t obviously written by a self-loathing homosexual? It’s like if all skinheads were Ryan Gosling in “The Believer.”

“Apparently the conversion to pastor didn’t quite take, because Johnny still believes in magic tricks”

Yeah, I’ll bet.

I think these folks are just really scared of what lurks in their own hearts and minds. They’re so afraid to see anything that threatens their beliefs, it scares them shitless. I’m truly amazed that heads can contain that much cognative dissonance and not stroke out. I’d feel sorry for these people, living their lives in a self-created prison, if they weren’t such mean fuckers.

They rant and rave about the “threat of Islamic fundamentalism.” I’ll give them that; it certainly is a problem, not least of all for more moderate governments with a large fundamentalist Islamic population. But I have no trouble saying that these Xtian fundies are every bit as much a threat to the continued well-being of the human species and the rest of Earth’s flora and fauna as the Islamic fundies. Religious fundamentalism of any stripe is on my top three Very Most Scary list. Only two things keep me up nights even more: One is the thought of some nutbars managing to start – and I always hear this in the War Games computer’s voice – global thermonuclear war, and the second is that the Republicans will manage to install McCain as President and that will be the end of the American experiment as a Constitutionally sound government. Of course, all three fears (and many more) are entwined.

Here this idiot is worried that a fluffy little pop song is going to Corrupt The Morals of All America’s Yoof! Meanwhile, India thinks Pakistan may have blown up their embassy in Kabul, our economy is hemorrhaging jobs, and that asshole VP of ours is revealed to have been holding meetings to see if we could false-flag our way into a war in the Strait of Hormuz. WTF? As me old mum would have said, these people need something real to worry about.
I worry a lot.

OT: There were storms in Chicago tonight, and a window in the Hancock Tower reportedly broke. Am I the only one thinking a former Chicago City Comptroller fell out of that window, while his files mysteriously vanished from his home?

A lot of that RAUNCHY Rocknroll is popular just to annoy-upset us Grups. My niece played a song about some guy wanting to f**k a dog in the ass. She kept giggling & looking at me. All I could say was That Guy better be careful or the dog’l bit his dick off.

By The Way OT: a response to one of the Doughy One’s worser tirades:

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20080818/zirin2/print

Here this idiot is worried that a fluffy little pop song is going to Corrupt The Morals of All America’s Yoof!

I think they (the idiots AKA fundies, that is) are more worried that these “cultural products” will make the kids more accepting of teh gay.

Which not only threatens their religion and authority, but also their cash flow.

Kissing a guy turned my brother-in-law’s ex-wife into a lesbian. Or maybe it was just kissing my brother-in-law that did it.

Watching those two beer guzzling armchair soldier fans of pole dancers has definitely converted me.

Am I the only one thinking a former Chicago City Comptroller fell out of that window, while his files mysteriously vanished from his home?

Certainly not.

Did you know that “It’s Raining Men” was written to commemorate all the comptrollers being defenestrated in Chi-town?

Former magician turned youth pastor

“And for my next trick, the disappearing sausage! Come on, Jonny, don’t be bashful…”

Oh for the good old days. When fReichtards just had to worry that listening to Chuck Berry & Little Richard would turn impressionable Caucasian teens into shag monsters.

At least they would be shagging people of the opposite gender.

If that song can make someone a lesbian, what kind of song would make someone a legalistic?

I like the song. It’s catchy. I can dance to it.

…what kind of song would make someone a legalistic?

Maybe “You can’t outrun the long arm of the Legal”?

I fought the legalistic and the legalistic won.

Perry was raised by two hardcore evangelical preachers.
So obviously, fundamentalist Xtianity turns girls into lesbians. We must ban it *for the children*

From the California Supreme Court’s decisions regarding marriage, to the skyrocketing popularity of this song, to the nearly non-stop introduction of the homosexual agenda into almost every facet of our culture, we are facing the rise of the most homosexually friendly generation in history.

Why, it’s getting to the point that you can’t get away with killing a queer any longer. What’s this country coming to, with these gays and their special rights???

Hey, this whole girls kissing girls thing – I bet there’s a Rule 34 for it somewhere.

Into your tent I’ll creep!

the song is anything, but “straight.”

Whistle! Unecessary comma; ten yards; on the defense.

“Johnny, do you like gladiator movies?”

I’ll give you eleven sweet potatoes for Linsay Lohan.

I bid twelve!

I’ll go fifteen if it’s Diane Lane.

How much for Lindsay Lohan kissing Diane Lane?

What can I get for a wheelbarrow full of taro?

Haven’t read any comments- is this a stupid and sick Res State Update?

You know, twelve years ago when I was in college, seeing two girls making out was novel and exciting and awesome. Now, though, it’s just exciting and awesome. I don’t care if they’re doing it because they are experimenting, trying to get attention, or because they’re both really into girls in general and/or each other specifically; it’s still great.

(Actually the ones who are obviously about attention are kind of annoying).

That is Teh Number One Song In Amurka???

Sheesh.

t.A.T.u. was better, and they can’t even speak English.

DAS and his talmudic commentary FTW. Brilliant stuff.

Hmm. Let’s see what’s on my iPod:

“There is Nothin’ Like a Dame”
“Guys and Dolls”
“For Me and My Gal”
“My Fair Lady”

Huh. Still not working. Oh, here’s the problem:

“Hymn to Him (Why Can’t a Woman be More Like a Man?)”

Maybe I should replace that with “I Kissed a Girl”. Do you think that would help?

The Perry song is…designed to make hetero young men desire a threesome with 2 hot girls gone wild.

You say that like it’s a bad thing.

It’s not a bad thing, but it IS a misogynistic thing, which is vastly different from a lesbian thing. Misogynism being a major hallmark of teh Right, them complaining about it would be silly, or hypocritical, or just knee jerk clueless.

It’s a little-known non-fact that, but for the Kinks’ song “Lola”, the Castro district in San Francisco would be just like Peoria.

How Good Can Come From Evil:

This wingnut “Queer Nation Coverted MAH Daughter To A Bull-Dyke” motif’s regurgitation by this dork got me to go back & listen to Jill Sobule. I like her vox macro heaps.

Sheesh, in Shrub’s case the apt take-off might be “I Rimmed a Sheik,” eh? The other one with them holding hands was much more romantic & emo.

I’ve got a 13 year old daughter who is currently a little spiritually curious. I encourage it, but what do I do when she wants to join a youth group at some church, and all I can think about is this cat spewing this fundie bs?

Someone needs to put Sobule’s video on the front page just to counteract the total weakitude of discussing Perry’s insipid song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SclQZ4W2VZ0

Sobule: airy, lighthearted and subversive

Perry: le crap

i think no one music can ~!~and being lesbian must waste many times ~!and if you can’t be sure whether you are lesbian ~!i think you can go to the lesbian ,and bisexual web(?BIGBISEXUAL.C O M ?)!~!this is a biseuxla,lesbian and gay web ~!~you will make friend with other ~!and you can dating with other lesbian,bisexual ~!i think if you are offtn dating,chating with them ,that you will be a lesbian ~!~!

I yam what I yam.

Biritululo!

“ABOVE: Johnnie Moore does his best to not look gay”

And fails, completely…

So lemonheads, if your question about your daughter is serious, here’s what I’d do (and thank FSM my kids are agnostic at least): let her go, then talk to her about it afterward. Find out what she liked, what she didn’t like, what was said and then counter it. Ask questions. Show factual and logical errors in the preachin’.

Get her to think critically and dispassionately about what she experienced and let her come to her own conclusions…shaded, of course, by your input.

It won’t always work. I have two nieces (adults now) who are evangelicals. They sure didn’t get it at home. They’re wonderful women but, well, their faith is more on their sleeves than I’d personally like. You can’t control what your kids come to believe, you can only give them the benefit of your experience.

Hmph. Sorry, funny must be broken tonight.

The usage “a legalistic” is indeed made of awkward, but it’s a little less weird to someone steeped in the conservative Christian culture. As much as they seem to want to follow rules, and to make the rest of us follow them, they at least claim to believe that salvation comes solely from one’s own relationship with a particular Jewish carpenter (I _met_ Norm Abrams once, does that count?).

To say that (especially) another conservative Christian because he or she or the girl she kissed is not saved because they didn’t follow a particular rule (e.g., no women talking in Church) is to risk indulging in what they refer to as “legalism”.

Of course, most conservative Christians don’t take this very far—that would be “antinomianism”*, the doctrine that God’s Elect can do whatever they will without sinning—this doctrine is unpopular in those circles, though they seem to support it when it shows up in the forms of “Dirty Harry” movies and OUR ENTIRE FOREIGN POLICY. But even so, the “don’t be legalistic” trope is trotted out as a way of keeping peace among themselves, and the author seems to tentatively broach the possibility that two girls’ kissing might _not_ wrek their salvation (or be a sign that they never were saved, if you’re a Calvinist)—perhaps he’s under the theological guidance of Dr Stephen Colbert (“The Colbertic Doctor”), whose Summa contra omnes stated, “Homosexuality is a sin…but lesbianism is hot.”

*…which some of you might have encountered in fiction as the ideology of the Inner Church of the Fosterite movement in Stranger in a Strange Land.

Girls kissing each other is so sexy, your site is great, i love it.