Barack is too thin, because he works out less frequently than Bush.
Barack is the anti-christ, because he makes less frequent use of religious imagery and claims of being on a mission from God than Bush.
Barack is the reason gas is so expensive, not the oilmen in the White House.

Next claim; Obama caused Katrina.

If Obama is the anti-christ then fundies MUST NOT interfere with GOD’S plans.

THEY MUST INSURE OBAMA BECOMES PRESIDENT!

It is GOD’S WILL…

that second one is sooooo 60’s.
letting their freak flag fly and all………….

Holy fucking McShit.

You know, I just assume that most people are rational and I tune a lot of the bullshit out, I don’t watch the Sunday talk shows because I have better things to do and treasure my sanity, and so forth.

And then I come here, because S,N! crew does the yeoman’s work of plumbing the cesspool of slime that is the Recht-wing. While it doesn’t much surprise me that some dumbass who can’t upload a PowerPoint presentation is screeching that Obama is the AntiChrist, its a little shocking that the McCain camp would put out such a blatant dog-whistle on the same thesis. Just wow.

And owlbear is right – if they want to hasten the coming of the Last Days, or the Rapture, or whatever, I’m pretty sure that they have to vote for Barack now. So we’ve got the insane evangelical vote locked up tight, right?

Apparently Hawaii is a place that approximates hell on earth. At which point I wonder what the point of escaping eternal damnation is.

The biopsy is in. The benign lesion removed from McCain’s face the other day turned out to be just a dark mark . . . in the shape of three small sixes. It’s nothing to worry about.

“He will be involved with the government in creating and enforcing microchip and nanotechnology, as well as global tracking.”

Sources: 1Thatsbaloneyians 2:1-3
Confusions 4:2-3
Luke’s Epistle to the Tatooinians 4:12-15
Hallucinations 12: 3-666

I get the feeling my Southern neighbors always figured that the anti-Christ would turn out to be a n–, erm, a black guy.

Obama as Antichrist?
Hmmm … seems to me those born-agains have a pretty strict criterion for just who gets to be “Lucifer’s Little Helper of the End Times Hoedown” &, um … well … Obama sure doesn’t look Jewish.

But indeed, any Christian who buys this malarkey HAS to vote for him, as his ascension to power is an ESSENTIAL precursor to the J-Man doing his “I Came Again, Grab Another Bucket!” Reunion Tour – as is the rebuilding of a certain dilapidated Temple.

Now if Obama were to suddenly get VERY passionate about trying to get the Knesset to put a rose-garden or parking-lot on said Temple site … I might not snicker so much.

Gavin I don’t even want to know how you found that “presentation.”

Obama is a democrat = statistic

If and IF Obama gets elected presidency

The number of letters in “Barack Hussein Obama” average out to 666.

He has only daughters, ergo he could be the Antichrist. By that standard, I know of several people in my life who could be the Antichrist.

John McCain: 21st Century ads. 17th Century values.

Apparently Hawaii is a place that approximates hell on earth.

Only if you don’t like SPAM.

Oh, come on, Barry Obama can’t be the Anti-Christ, cause
Dick Cheney has the job guaranteed for life!

Hal Lindsey also has a story out on the web this week somewhere talking about Obama as the Anti-Christ. Lindsey is a big wig amongst evangelicals.
I’ve seen these kind of comments on right wing blogs a lot: that Obama is evil, that he has mind control powers, etc….

McCain is scum.

But today we continued to hear on the Sunday shows that McCain doesn’t mean to be a racist bastard, he is really “above all that”, it is just his team behind him that is making him do this.

What Would Happen if Barack Obama Became President of the United States?

First, we will need to understand how it would “come to pass”that Barak Obama would achieve victory. So, let’s look at a few statistics:

1. Is a Democrat.
2. Although half white, he would only declare his black heritage (which he does today) to make himself “unique” as the 1st “black” president.
3. Is competing against the Primary Democratic Candidate and the Primary Republican Candidate.
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-
How do you parody that?

My other favorite has to be the sentence “If, and IF Obama gets elected Presidency, it would be the start of more prophecies mentioned in the bible.”

You know what part of doofus’ inept powerpoint presentation I liked the best? The one where, right after reading through the “only four verses in the Bible that mention the AntiChrist,” he goes on to tell us a lot of ways about how to identify who is the AntiChrist, none of which were even hinted at in the “only four verses in the Bible” he’s just read.

Please give us the link to the YouTube page so we can be sure he sees us making fun of him.

And the Ad makes no sense either. Maybe I watched it wrong, but from where I’m sitting, it looked as though Obama just parted the Red Sea.

If he’s The One, he’s ready to lead. Moses was ready to lead, Jesus was ready to lead, Neo was ready to lead. And even if he’s not ready to lead, you give him a chance. He’s teh freakin’ one!

He is the anti-Christ and that’s why I am voting for him. I watched the finest film ever next to Star Wars Episode I: Jar Jar Rulz! — Left Behind starring Kirk Cameron. It’s an awesome teaching vehicle.

I am fully prepared to duke it out on the planet sans the evangelicals and Mike Seaver. Dudes, it’s gonna rule!

Please give us the link to the YouTube page so we can be sure he sees us making fun of him.

Here’s the Trilogy:

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=EA493005B12C6A4D

I thought Ricky Santorum was the anti-christ. I’m so confused.

Oh, it’s here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rku2a4vWO6g

There are also links to the dramatic Parts II and III of the presentation.

I’m going to be offline for the rest of the day, btw, so I won’t be able to check the spam filter for stray comments — which are far rarer than before, but one is too many, etc.

So if a comment get lost, I’m sorry and I’ll restore it later.

Here you go, Jennifer. Play nice with Big Jerre, ok? The man has an episode of “Family Matters” amongst his favorite videos. That probably tells you everything you need to know about him.

Jennifer if you click on the youtube video itself, it will get you to the youtube page. Alternatively you can click here.

I’m already on part two, though I’m not sure I can stomach the whole thing. In it I learn that Obama in his second term becomes more Hitler-like and then does the extremely Hitler-like action of disbanding the US military.

Okay, no one actually watched all of that second clip, right? That’s 9 1/2 minutes of your life you’ll never get back.

Mr. Wonderful: Oh, how you make me laugh.

Thanks for the link, all…though after going over there and seeing how even the members of his own tribe are already hammering him on how stupid he is, I see that my services aren’t needed.

If Obama is the anti-christ then fundies MUST NOT interfere with GOD’S plans.

This is the central conundrum of End Times theology, isn’t it? That, along with predicting Christ’s return, even though JC stated quite explicitly that it’s a pointless exercise, since no one can ever know.

I mean, what’s an end-timer to do? If it’s biblical prophecy, it’s gotta happen, right? It’s supposed to happen. Clearly, anyone who would thwart Obama is thwarting the will of god.

Never fear, everyone: I’ve agreed to take on comment rescue duties while my husband is offline. Comment your little hearts out! I shall occasionally slay the WordPress dragon!

No, MzNicky, I certainly didn’t. But I did catch this slide in Part III (at 1:01):

Lives or Lived Near the Chicago Area???

Significance?
The area code of Chicago, is the number 60606
(Gee, I wonder what is significant about that?)
666

Okay, so that’s one of Chicago’s many, many zip codes, but it does raise serious questions about Obama. For example, why would he choose to move to and make his political career in a place associated with such an evocative number?

why would he choose to move to and make his political career in a place associated with such an evocative number?

And what does it say about him that I believe it???? Hmm?

I mean, what’s an end-timer to do? If it’s biblical prophecy, it’s gotta happen, right? It’s supposed to happen. Clearly, anyone who would thwart Obama is thwarting the will of god.

Most plays have to have a bad guy, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t boo the bad guy when he comes on stage.

Me said,

August 3, 2008 at 19:38

If Obama is the anti-christ then fundies MUST NOT interfere with GOD’S plans.

This is the central conundrum of End Times theology, isn’t it? That, along with predicting Christ’s return, even though JC stated quite explicitly that it’s a pointless exercise, since no one can ever know.

It’s simple: end timers solve this dilemma like they solve all other such dilemmas… with hypocrisy.

Only if you don’t like SPAM.

I’ve only been there once, but did hear that native Hawaiians do have some pretty creative dishes that they’ve developed out of SPAM. Didn’t get to try any, though. I would have.

I never realized — the number of letters in each name of Barack Hussein Obama is 6, 7, and 5, which averages out to… 6, 6, 6.

Clearly we need to defeat this antichrist, and instead elect someone who is more like Ronald Wilson Reagan.

Oh, look. A blog called “Barack Obama the Antichirst?” I like the question mark at the end. Like the one at The Poorman Institute—the Best Book Ever?

In the top post the blogger tries to address the issue raised above by owlbear1and Me.

Your argument: If Barack is the Antichrist(or beast etc) then why would you tell people not to vote for him? There is nothing we can do about it.

Answer: You are right, there is nothing we can about it voting against him if he is the Antichrist, and yes that would mean Jesus is on his way. However, if Barack is just some guy, then he is clearly full of himself, and I don’t think he would be a good leader, and I don’t agree with his policies. I am not saying I am a big Mccain fan either.

And don’t miss the poll! I voted “maybe.”

Oops, I spelled Antichrist wrong in the blog title. This must mean something about me.

the blogger tries to address the issue raised above by owlbear1and Me.

Yeah, he tried alright, though he still ended up not making any sense.

Shorter guy you quoted: “Never mind”.

Obviously, the strategy is to drive voters away from Obama, to provide specious/scurrilous reasons for folks NOT to vote for him. They’re not really worried about wooing voters away. The Pukes just want folks to have reason/doubts enough to stay home…They already got the 27%ers, but that’s pretty close to 40 % of the electorate…If they can keep turnout down, it’s unquestonably to their benefit…

Ok so I had to go and watch all three videos…that completely made my day. I want to meet this guy, but after seeing a video with him in it, I’m afraid he’d eat me

You want something to worry about all day the rest of your weekend?

Gordon Prather has a piece up at anti-war dot com today discussing the following scenario.

After Obama takes office, israel attacks Iran’s various nuclear program installations including the reactor and the enrichment facility at Natanz. Of course, they cannot deliver a knockout blow to the Iranian nuclear program, so then they tell Obama that the US needs to finish it or the israelis will have to do so with their nukes.

What does president Obama do?

mikey

mikey,

I can think of two things much scarier than that scenario:

1. Bush is still in office.

2. McCain has just taken office.

Yeah, that’s for sure.

But it’s not really an interesting question, ’cause we know the answer in that case.

In fact, the israelis would probably handle it much differently, informing the white house that the strike package was inbound and the bombs would start falling in seventy five minutes and for the US to get it’s radars powered up and it’s fighters in the air. And the US would sigh, shake it’s collective head, say “oh well, here we go” and launch.

Interestingly, one of the major overlooked lessons in all this is the power a small, belligerent nation can have over a powerful patron. Its very much worth thinking about in our rush to invite eastern eurpopean nations into NATO. As members, they know the alliance is obligated to defend them, which might make them much more reckless in their local affairs. The tiny tail can force the dog into a way it doesn’t want, and perhaps may not even be able to win…

mikey

The more things change, the more they stay the same. I’m old enough to remember the rumors that Ronald Wilson Reagan was the Antichrist, because there were six letters in each of his names.

But isn’t the Antichrist suppose to come after God has snatched all those fundies up to heaven and safely out of the way of the Tribulation? Fuckers never have been able to keep their stories straight.

From the video in the update:

Now let me ask you. How many terms is in one U.S. presidency?

Huh? Is this a trick question?

I’m gonna go get me a studded motocross helmet just in case Barack Hussein Obama does fit the glove.

Personally mikey, I think the most likely time for a strike is November 3rd to January 20th (in the likely event of an Obama victory). The idea would be to tie Obama’s hands before becoming president. If he is President, then, well, theoretically he can work against them diplomatically, or do something unexpected. A full blown shooting war on the other hand is harder to extract oneself from. And I’m not sure if Israel has the capacity to strike Iran with aircraft without refuelling sites.

But yeah, given Israel is fairly good at hiding it’s military capabilities (Lebanon being a rare exception), I’ll accept the premise as possible. In that case, President Obama has three options:

1) Call the Israelis bluff, which works if they are bluffing or can’t maintain domestic political support for a first nuclear strike.

2) Use hard diplomacy against the Israelis, seeing as there would be few countries willing to support a nuclear first strike on Tehran and hope cooler heads will prevail. This presupposes he can maintain domestic support against war. Seeing as oil prices would skyrocket (as well as the running sore in Iraq), this may not be as unfeasible as it used to.

3) Join in in the hopes of a quick effortless regime change that would result in the diplomatic recognition of Israel and transformative change in the Middle East.

Sorry pal.

If it doesn’t fit you must acquit…

mikey

13:1 Then I stood on the sand of the sea. I saw a beast coming up out of the sea, having ten horns and seven heads. On his horns were ten crowns, and on his heads, blasphemous names.

Obama was born in Hawaii. Obama has five Jewish advisors (two horns per Jew). Hussein is seven letters.

13:2 The beast which I saw was like a leopard, and his feet were like those of a bear, and his mouth like the mouth of a lion. The dragon gave him his power, his throne, and great authority.

Obama is a fast runner. Obama has large feet (and hands). Obama roars to crowds. Hillary Clinton, DRAGON LADY OR DIPLOMAT?

13:3 One of his heads looked like it had been wounded fatally. His fatal wound was healed, and the whole earth marveled at the beast.

I think this speaks for itself.

—-

Wow, it’s easy to be batshitinsane.

Israel can surge 1000-1500 strike sorties in the first 24. Unquestioned. They have the tanker capacity. They have the appropriate weapons in inventory. They WOULD have to violate somebody’s airspace – Syria, of course, then Turkey or Iraq. If they wanted to try to protect the US, they’d overfly Turkey. If the intention was to force the US’s hand, they’d overfly Iraq and the US would be automatically complicit.

What the Israelis DON’T have is the strike capacity to actually do more than fairly minor damage to the Iranians installations. The Iranians KNOW about Osirak. They KNOW this was a likelihood. They have widely dispersed, hardened and defended their facilities. Just knowing where they are isn’t good enough anymore.

So after the first 72 hours or so, Israeli strikes will have to be seriously curtailed. Plus, by that time they will be under a lot of domestic pressure to stop the Iranian missile strikes against their cities. So they will need US support both to defend against Iranian retaliation and to try to finish the job on the nuclear program.

The way things are today, Israel is the sole arbiter of the role of the US military in the persian gulf. They, not us, get to decide if there is to be war, and when it starts.

Not a good position for a “super power” to find itself in…

mikey

Wow, that guy is convinced Obama is the Antichrist and that 2012 will mark the beginning of the end of the world, but what he really, really wants to convey is that he hates Muslims. A lot.

Of course, it’s entirely possible that Israelis planning a potential attack know there’s a limited chance of taking out all the hardened / hidden nuclear facilities, but that means assuming that their publicly announced goals are, in fact, their goals.

If, on the other hand, what they wish to do is set Iran back rather than simply setting back Iran’s nuclear program, then they have all the chance in the world to succeed.

And they know the journos and pundits will all concentrate on Iran’s nuclear program while Israel severely damages much of the infrastructure of one of its major regional competitors.

mikey I’m not exactly disagreeing with you. In fact

They, not us, get to decide if there is to be war, and when it starts.

pretty much echoes my thoughts. And no, it isn’t a good position for a “super power” to find itself in. I’m just saying that the choice to escalate would be Obama’s and whether or not that would happen (or would be necessary) would be due to domestic (both Israeli and American) and international politics.

In such a case, it is far too easy to lose control of the situation. Whether the Israelis realize such, I cannot say. Far too many wars have been started in human history by powers failing to realize how unwilling “teh enemy” was to “back down.”

Was that video produced in the basement of the RNC headquarters? And is that the official shield for the 2012 Crusades?

First I heard that the Rpturees will be returning. Will they be putting their worldly belongings in U-Store-It facilities?

El Cid very rightly points out that there are a number of competing and complimentary agendas in play here. Unfortunately, very few advocates for peaceful coexistence have a seat at the table.

His Grace also gets to the center of the tootsie pop. The point of the entire exercise is to try to predict Obama’s independence and commitment. Because he as much as ANYONE knows that once this horse is out of the barn, the whole damn town burns down. But if Israel launches and the retaliation against israel, the US in iraq and possibly other gulf states is fast, widespread, bloody and picking up steam, there will of course be a strong outcry domestically for the US to kick some goddam persian ass.

And it will be very hard for any US president to take the smart course, not the emotionally advocated one. You kind of have to wonder if the cuban missile crisis was today, with 24hour news coverage, would Kennedy have had the breathing room to NOT launch on the soviets?

mikey

…native Hawaiians do have some pretty creative dishes that they’ve developed out of SPAM…

So I’ve heard. I’ve never been to Hawaii, but if I do go I’m definitely going to try the SPAM sushi.

Anyone want to take my wager that this pundit was home-schooled?

So, the question is did they gravitate to fundy religion because they’re crazy freaks, or did fundy make crazy freaks? Also, I thought Hitlery was the anti-christ.

he goes on to tell us a lot of ways about how to identify who is the AntiChrist, none of which were even hinted at in the “only four verses in the Bible” he’s just read.

I believe those identifiers are set forth in the Revelation Code Annotated, also known as Teh Big Book of Nostradamus.

13:2 The beast which I saw was like a leopard, and his feet were like those of a bear, and his mouth like the mouth of a lion. The dragon gave him his power, his throne, and great authority.

13:3 One of his heads looked like it had been wounded fatally. His fatal wound was healed, and the whole earth marveled at the beast.

Oh my GOD! It’s John McCain!!!!!!11@!#!#

His fatal wound was healed

Y’know, y’gotta admit, right along with pregnant virgins and talking brushfires, that’s something you just don’t see every day.

See we used to call these “non-fatal wounds” to differentiate between them and the kind that, um, DON’T heal….

mikey

Wow, it’s easy to be batshitinsane.

And there you have the secret to the GOP’s success. Being sane is actually harder than being crazy. The most basic core of the GOP’s message is, “Go ahead. Give in. You know you want to.”

mikey: Note the qualifier “looked like it had been wounded fatally.” I guess that, as it healed, it really wasn’t fatal after all. If I’d been in charge of this Revelations writer guy I would have so totally edited that.

And okay, I was not going to listen to this cretin’s spew. Someone tell me: What’s up with the table napkin tied around his face? Protecting his identity so the murderous liberal antiChrist brigades won’t hunt him down and do him in for speaking teh “truth”?

Man, I am so convinced, increasingly, every day, that at least one-third of this country is certifiably insane. Seriously functionally batshit insane. I blame “God,” and Bush of course.

I thought Hagee said the anti-Christ would be a Jew? Are they now saying Obama is a Jew too? Wow no more secret Muslim? I think they are stepping off the edge here, but the right has always thrived in a reality free world of lying douche-baggory.

So if Obama really is the Antichrist, then isn’t imperative that he be elected to, you know, fulfill the prophecy?

Are they now saying Obama is a Jew too? Wow no more secret Muslim?

Please. You must think as a wingnut. A secret Muslim can easily be a Jew – it’s your flight from reality.

Remember his teenage flirtation with Zoroastrianism?

His collection of Buddhist porn?

Actually, Hal Lindsey gets all technical on us. Obama isn’t actually the Antichrist, but he is preparing the way for him.

His column making this crucial distinction is here:

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=71144

McCain’s ads make Obama look even better than Obama’s ads. Is this some new double back flip with a triple axle Rovian mindfuck? Is the idea to build up Obama in people’s minds until his reality has to disappoint? ‘Cause in this ad and in the “celebrity” ad, Obama looks smooth, smart and in charge. Let’s see McCain morph into any Biblical character other than Methusela.

675, the number of the best.

Yes, i watched the whole thing.

hah. Hal Lindsey is the best-selling non-fiction writer alive today. it says so at the bottom of his worldnetdailyexclusive.

Non-fiction?

no my EX son in law IS the antichrist and all those bushies are soooo discusting this country has gone to hell

If “he fits the glove”
….you must ….acquit… ..or something.

Well duh. To the modern PMD, Anti-war = Antichrist. Non-warmongering minds are the devil’s workshop, yanno.

Hal Lindsey has long been saying that “everything has been coming together.” He has in mind the Hal Lindsey ex-wives club since he’s had 4 wives and 3 divorces!

“I got better” and “It was only a flesh wound” come to mind, but really the Beast is just the Gnostic Nicolaitans, and the Elect are just the members of an ascetic Christian sect that isn’t around anymore, probably because they were all celibate and had a tough time recruiting. Interestingly, neither of those groups really “won” their “battle”, which was nothing compared to the Protestant Reformation. Heck, it wasn’t even as big as the Reformed Baptist Church of God reformation of 1915 (those heretic scum).

The Antichrist Obama and his Pro-Abortion Communist Gestapo will CHANGE USA into USSA – United Socialist States of America.

When are these people going to figure out that they ain’t gonna *know* the antichrist when he arrives?? (If he arrives, which is doubtful…) How many times have they pointed at someone and said, Oh! Oh! It’s the antichrist!” Can we even begin to count? Reagan, Hitler, Manson… The list is really extensive, actually. How many Popes have been called the antichrist?

I’m certifiable – I mean, I’m manic depressive, so, I’m a certified, mild-case nut job. But these people make me look like the world leader of calm, sane and rational thought…

Someone get that guy on some meds, please!!

TEST

UN PRESIDENT TIM KALEMKARIAN, US PRESIDENT TIM KALEMKARIAN, US SENATE TIM KALEMKARIAN, US HOUSE TIM KALEMKARIAN: BEST MAJOR CANDIDATE.

OOH I HATE THAT GUY SO MUCH!