World O’Crap has TownHall, but we have The Rant

And The Rant has the one, the only, … Scott Gray!:

Republicans believe in traditional values. We believe in right and wrong and having a strong moral compass. From the Civil War, we have not flip-flopped on issues that are dear to us. Republicans are strong people, and we have a deep desire to protect our future generations. Homosexuality is a bad decision, and it is not something that should ever be promoted in society. When a government promotes behavior that is harmful to a majority of citizens, this problem trumps other problems. [Emphasis added; homophobia in the original.]

Have you been harmed by homosexuality? Call our professional attorneys to see if they can work for you!

Affirmative action is a negative step because it keeps America thinking on a racial scale. It is time for America to move beyond this pitiful bickering. We believe that African-Americans need to go to college to get a step up in life, but they should never be shown a preference. This denies the equality that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once stated when he dreamed of all races being able to one day sit equally together at the table of life.

The table of life — is that located next to the chair of asinine metaphors by any chance? Or is it closer to the toaster of straw men? What about the microwave of logical fallacies? The blender of desperate pleas?

We have increased education spending by 49% in four years.

Don’t forget to mention the word “federal” in there, big Scott! Which sort of matters a little:

In the 2003-04 school year, 83 cents out of every dollar spent on education came from the state and local levels (46 percent from state funds and 37 percent from local governments). The federal government’s share was 8.2 percent. [Emphasis added.]

Might wanna think that one over, Scooby.

Remember just a few seconds ago when Scott was telling us how bad affirmative action was for college admission? You know, Dr. King not liking it and stuff? Well, it turns out that sometimes it’s cool:

Other [tax] breaks have specifically been promoted toward minority business ownership.

Get to college on your own! But run your business with the help of a special tax break! It’s all part of the Republican party’s plan to level the playing field through a commitment to principles and values.

President Bush wants dangerous criminals to stay behind bars, and he has worked with Attorney General John Ashcroft to lower gun crimes, something that he calls a perfect alternative to gun control.

Yet Senator Kerry wants to force you to be a guest family to dangerous, foreign, criminals!

Republicans do not harm civil rights, but we have always looked to promote them. We do not want to hold minorities down. We have instead spent more than ever in attempts to raise them up, not through preferences, but through society.

Head spinning, must control head spinning, oxygen, need oxygen… aaarrrrggh!

Government must see the social unrest, and it can only be rectified by encouraging moral behavior, not dissuading it with things such as same-sex marriage, encouragement of abortion, and the continuance of large and uneffective social programs. Wake up, African-Americans. Republicans have a plan, and you ARE a part of it!

Wake up you bunch of dumb asses! You don’t have to put up with the uneffective policies of the Democrats! And don’t forget to get Scott a drink and wash his car when you get a chance, ok?


Comments: 17


Sorry, the Rant may be bass-ackward crazy, but the sheer number of Townhallies makes the Rant sound like a bunch of whiny schoolchildren hopped up on goofballs and sucking helium straight from the tank.


I would like to say that I have been harmed by homosexuality.

See, I had this massive crush on this guy, and he turned out to be gay, and so we could never marry, and it made me so sad.

If he hadn’t been gay, we would have lived happily ever after and had 12 children. That is, if he had lifted the restraining order.


Gail–you quitter. A restraining order and his sexual orientation are all that stopped you?? Don’t you realize you have to go after what you want? You must not have wanted him very much.


Wake up, African-Americans. Republicans have a plan, and you ARE a part of it!

I suspect that 80% of african americans are keenly aware of the GOP plan for them.


I was harmed by homosexuality, and Larry Parker got me 2.5 million dollars.

Call the law offices of Larry Parker now!


Even though there are valid arguments for adjusting Affirmative Action, and even eventually phasing it out (who knows, another 50 years until we have only one integrated ‘spice shaker’ on the Table of Life?) people like Scott! pretty much prevent any sort of intelligent discussion.

“After a while they all looked around, and there was nothing but indians.” -Firesign Theatre


If Republicans always looked to raise up minorities, why did the “Solid South” and the “Dixiecrats” disappear in the sixties?

Because it was the Democratic Party that was promoting equality and civil rights, starting with John Kennedy and continuing with Lyndon Johnson, that’s why. Those good old Democrats, who had been Democrats since the Republican Party, the Party of Lincoln, sent all those carpetbaggers down south, deserted the party when the Democratic Party became a promoter of equality for all races.


An’ brush away de blue-tailed fly.


When I read shitty logic like that I’m embarrassed to admit I’m american.

I really think we’re doomed- because lot’s of people (at least the 10 or 12 who read his stupid column) read that and nodded their heads.



Actually a strong man takes responsibility for any failures. A weak man blames Bill Clinton.


Four legs good, honey, I think there are a lot of people who are embarrassed to admit you’re American.


Just kidding, FLG. No intent to do harm here.




I liked this quote (which i had to clean up because I don’t think a lot of people completely understood the meaning in the original:

“We do not want to hold minorities down. We have [people that we pay to do that so that we don’t have to get our hands dirty. I mean they’re minorities! Who wants to have anything to do with them?!]”


Shucks, if they had only increased [federal] funding by 50% instead of 49%, maybe Scott would have learned that “uneffective” isn’t a word.


The only thing missing from these excerpts was the implied “we love minorities – some of our best friends are minorities.”


Gay is not a choice. It’s like being born black -I can’t peel my gay off just like African Americans cant’t peel off the color of their skin. It is not a choice! We Gay, black, mexicans, Americans bleed red blood, just like you Republicans. We minorities are deserving of the same freedoms that all of you breeders have! We did not choose to be born in these minority groups it’s just the way “GOD” made us.

By the way, when was the last time you were 15 yrs old and raped by your boyfriend. Can you imagine being made to make that ‘choice’? What a huge and terrifying decision to have to make at any age!
I can tell my parents and get in really big trouble. Maybe I can have my best friend drive me to another state for a “legal” abortion, but I have no money to afford it.
I guess I’ll have to use a wire coat hanger in an alley, behind the trash can, and hope that I don’t die from internal bleeding while I am killing the life that is in my belly. Do you get what I’m saying here? Besides, how many children have you adopted to contribute to the solution of this problem?

Walking in someone elses shoes may change your perspective on the rights of others, because we are all created equal in the eyes of GOD, not so much in the eyes of Pompass and arrogant Republicans!

Hitler is alive and making progress in Washington, USA!
If you’re not furious then you’re not paying attention!
I love my country, I fear my government!


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