Hoo Boy

cheeto_pantload.jpg

Uh-oh. Jonah is hitting the Cheetos hard today:

The Spoiled Children of Capitalism

It’s an old story. Loving parents provide a generous environment for their offspring. Kids are given not only ample food, clothing and shelter, but the emotional necessities as well: encouragement, discipline, self-reliance, the ability to work with others and on their own. And yet, in due course, the kids rebel. Some even say their parents never loved them, that they were unfair, indifferent, cruel. Often, such protests are sparked by parents’ refusal to be even more generous. I want a car, demands the child. Work for it, insist the parents. Why do you hate me? asks the ingrate.

Indeed. If only more children followed Jonah’s career path of using their mother’s status as a wingnut hero to secure a cushy job at the National Review. Kids, if your mother becomes obsessed with Clinton’s penis then YOU TOO!!! can get a job as a prestigious public intellectual!

In large measure our wealth isn’t the product of capitalism, it is capitalism.

And yet we hate it. Leaving religion out of it, no idea has given more to humanity. The average working-class person today is richer, in real terms, than the average prince or potentate of 300 years ago.

Hear that, blue-collar wimps? You’re not dying of cholera like your relatives were 300 years ago, so shaddup about not being able to pay yer bills! Who cares that your house isn’t worth shit or that you aren’t making any real wage gains! Suck it up!

This is the irony of capitalism. It is not zero-sum, but it feels like it is. Capitalism coordinates humanity toward peaceful, productive cooperation, but it feels alienating.

Uh, has Jonah ever heard of stuff like this? Or this? Or this? Or, er, ah, this little thingy?

Collectivism does the opposite, at least when dreamed up on paper. The communes and collectives imploded in inefficiency, drowned in blood. The kibbutz lives on only as a tourist attraction, a baseball fantasy camp for nostalgic socialists. Meanwhile, billions have ridden capitalism out of poverty.

And yet the children of capitalism still whine.

Pictures are often better at illustrating economics than words are. For instance, I look at the economy and I see charts such as this…

…showing that real wages, with the exception of brief upticks in the early ’80s and the late ’90s, have been flat or shrinking for the past 30+ years. That’s not a good thing, and it may go a long way toward explaining why so many people are unhappy with our current economy. It makes more sense than calling everyone a bunch of delusional whiners, at any rate.

Of course, charts such as this aren’t what Jonah sees when he looks at the economy. No, Jonah takes a look across the American economic landscape and sees only this:

It’s a different perspective, to be sure, but I’m not sure it’s an entirely accurate one.


[Thanks to Dover Bitch for sending me the pic!]

 

Comments: 94

 
 
 

It’s typical of some privileged fuck like Goldberg to tell us how good we have it. He’s another Phil Graham.

Perhaps Goldberg should actually read some Adam Smith- he might find out that Smith himself was pretty wary of how wealthy and powerful could subvert the market for their own gain.

 
 

Perhaps Goldberg should actually read some Adam Smith- he might find out that Smith himself was pretty wary of how wealthy and powerful could subvert the market for their own gain.

Glad to see someone sticking up for Adam Smith! He was actually a pretty awesome and interesting guy, although people often cite his “invisible hand” metaphor as though it were the only thing he’d ever written.

 
 

Wait, so kids demand material goods but this is somehow a denouncement of capitalism? How did he get from rebellious kids to Socialism in one paragraph?

Spoiled children are the Liberal Jews of Parental Fascism!!

 
 

The average working-class person today is richer, in real terms, than the average prince or potentate of 300 years ago.

and taller, too! why we’re all not stars of the NBA remains a mystery, however.

 
 

The average working-class person today is richer, in real terms, than the average prince or potentate of 300 years ago.

Maybe Shah Jahan would be willing to switch places with me, then…

 
 

often, such protests are sparked by parents’ refusal to be even more generous. I want a car, demands the child. Work for it, insist the parents. Why do you hate me? asks the ingrate.

Jonah sounds like he’s familiar with this argument.

 
 

“The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority, they show disrespect to their elders…. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and are tyrants over their teachers.”

“The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they alone knew everything and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for girls, they areforward, immodest and unwomanly in speech, behaviour and dress.”

-Plato, or Socrates – 4th century BC

“We live in a decaying age. Young people no longer respect
their parents. They are rude and impatient. They frequently
inhabit taverns and have no self control.”

-Inscription, 6000 year-old Egyptian tomb

 
mmm...lemonheads
 

For your information, I switched to potato chips and Freedom onion dip months ago.
And I was thinking of including some objective empirical evidence of this “phenomena” but no one would do the leg work for me.

Sincerely,
Pants that are of a Load

 
 

The average working-class person today is richer, in real terms, than the average prince or potentate of 300 years ago.

Why yes, just the other day I was strolling through the Hall of Mirrors on the way to my south gardens, wondering when the scullery maids would finish their preparations for that evening’s féte.

 
 

Ah the classic “The status quo is better than something really, really bad. Ergo you should not criticize it” argument.

 
 

Jonah, always projecting.

His entire career is wingnut welfare.
He’s a fascist and calls liberals fascist.

 
 

you can’t write satire like this. goldberg is the ultimate whining baby who has been given everything on a silver platter.

i’ve decided that the current crop of gopers are the same, folks who have never had to really work for a living (goldberg, et. al), or who have never had to fight in a war (bush, cheney), or who never have had to actually scramble to survive (hardly-ever-right-wingers).

and they’re the ones who insist on deregulating capitalism so it can run amok and pad their pockets, and on creating wars halfway across the world for other, poorer people to go fight. they are the spoiled ones, not the hippie boomers.

 
 

Leaving religion out of it, no idea has given more to humanity.

Hoo Boy is right. I have to admit I’m kind of impressed that the Pantload makes a distinction between religion and capitalism, though.

 
 

God in heaven the last person to be talking about whiners is “I got my job from my mom” Goldberg. The little schmuck has been isulated from the demands of the captialist system his whole damn life – But I’m sure we can get some one from Mexico to do his column for much less – hell they don’t even have to speak english.

Of course he never heard the joke ” In Capitalism Man exploits man, in Communism the opposite is true”

And you have to love the timing with even the badly gimicked Job figures the worse they have been in years, oil at $130+ a barrel, the housing market in metldown mode, Goldberg picks this time to write the “you never had it so good” column.

The American Worker has been getting the shaft since the 1980’s – back in the bad old days of the peace and love 60’s a man working one job could buy a house and car and save some for his retirment. Now he just has the satisfaction in his own small way he’s making other people rich.

 
 

I just keep reminding myself, the stupider and more mendacious Goldberg gets, the crappier he makes the corporate media that employs him look. And the crappier they look, the better off we all are.

 
 

Right Wing Mama’s Boys Unite!!

 
 

any speculation on what Jonah would do for a living if he’d broken away from wingnut welfare mommy and found his own path in life? given his lack of skills, i’m thinking krispy kreme counter clerk…though I hear consumption is down due to the upset in the economy. he could always double as the michelin man.

 
 

Leaving religion out of it, no idea has given more to humanity.

Come on, Jonah. No love for the incest taboo?

 
 

Um, while you’re largely right, I think its wrongheaded to blame ‘capitalism’ for anything more than a minor cause or abettor of France waging war against the Algerians.

 
 

Jonah moves another step closer to becoming Abe Simpson.

“Stop whining. Back in my day, 1708…”

Hopefully future generations of Marcos will be able to look back and say…

“In 2008, there were people called “wingnuts” who spewed shit out their mouths and acted as if it were intellectual gold. One such wingnut looked like a creature called the Stay-Puff Marshmellow Man from the 1984 film, Ghostbusters.

(The ’80s era of film will be called the Golden Age of Cinema II – This Time it’s Personal. I just know it.)

 
 

This is the irony of capitalism. It is not zero-sum, but it feels like it is. Capitalism coordinates humanity toward peaceful, productive cooperation, but it feels alienating.

Sadly, no. It is the wise regulation of capitalism, which ameliorates its slash-and-burn tendencies and denies its ferocious appetites, that coordinates humanity toward cooperation (lovely phrase that, Doughpants). It is what separates capitalism from feudalism, which is what Jonah and his ilk desire. The middle way, allowing individual achievement while still fostering community responsibility, is what lifts us above the princes and potentates of 300 years ago.

 
 

Instead of pretzel logic, Jonah employs Cheeto logic:

Louis XIV never had an iPod

Many people today have iPods

Therefore all iPod owners are richer than Louis XIV.

It truly boggles the mind.

 
 

. . . and cheetos were unavailable to even the wealthiest of aristocrats in days of old. Today even the destitute can partake of its divine flavor. Also, they didn’t have Star Trek reruns back then either.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

People ask, “Why is there poverty in the world?” It’s a silly question. Poverty is the default human condition. It is the factory preset of this mortal coil. As individuals and as a species, we are born naked and penniless, bereft of skills or possessions.

And thus Jonah shows his moral purity.

Shorter Pantload: Phil Gramm was being too kind.

 
 

Who might have written this? The emphasis is mine; the bloviating is, I suspect, the doing of a certain load of doughy pants.

Jonah Jacob Goldberg (born March 21, 1969) is an American conservative author and commentator. He is America’s most widely-read political columnist under the age of 40.[1] Goldberg is known for his contributions on politics and culture to National Review Online, where he is the editor-at-large. He is the author of Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left, from Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning (ISBN 0-385-51184-1), a #1 bestseller[2].

 
 

Any number of countries in Africa are vastly richer in baubles and soil than Switzerland. But they are poor because they are impoverished in what they value.

Ah, the smug superiority of a monstrous asshole. Baubles like oil, uranium, copper, tin, diamonds, gold, and coltan? Surely you’d turn those down and give up your cellphone, car, etc., Jonah, and stick to that magical 82% real wealth you own thanks to your values and brain?

Or maybe, the fucking mechanisms of capitalism are what extract those “baubles” from the continent so that the real wealth generated ends up mostly in the pockets of outsiders. And just maybe, the fucking mechanisms of capitalism inspire the fucking governments of the world to conspire to keep these mechanisms of capital in place to insure that the people who actually work the first step or two to turn these “baubles” into goods never see any real wealth from their efforts.

Capitalism coordinates humanity toward peaceful, productive cooperation, but it feels alienating.

Ah, yes, the peaceful, co-operative production of the Atlantic slave trade, made possible by the mechanisms of capitalism. The Indian Ocean and China Sea wars of early modernity, courtesy of capitalism. The war machines of the twentieth-century, mostly brought to you by the letter C. And apitalism. Und so weiter.

Jonah: “If I can’t see the depredations of the system, it’s not happening!”

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

“We live in a decaying age. Young people no longer respect
their parents. They are rude and impatient. They frequently
inhabit taverns and have no self control.”

Yeah! Fuck Pharoah, we’re gonna rock this joint like only the proto-dynastic can.

 
 

He is America’s most widely-read political columnist for people with IQs under 40.

Fixed.

 
 

For generations, many thought prosperity was material stuff: … But we now know that these things are merely the fringe benefits of wealth.

The average working-class person today is richer, in real terms, than the average prince or potentate of 300 years ago.

So which is it, Jonah? Stuff is wealth, or not?

 
 

Well, anonymous, looks like his speaker’s agent wrote it for him. They wouldn’t exaggerate, would they?

Anyway, I actually agree with the statement, as long as you remove the letters “ly read”

 
 

Capitalism coordinates humanity toward peaceful, productive cooperation

“Capitalism” has been banking on this idea for centuries — that there’s not really much difference between the mission of a multinational corporation in the world and a farmer at a farmers’ market. It ain’t really the same thing.

 
 

The American Worker has been getting the shaft since the 1980’s – back in the bad old days of the peace and love 60’s a man working one job could buy a house and car and save some for his retirment. Now he just has the satisfaction in his own small way he’s making other people rich.

My dad owned his own business most of his life, leveraging his graduate degree. My stepfather worked for the same company for decades, rose through the ranks. Both did quite well for themselves, worked hard, and did well. Good role models both of them – and both still working a bit in retirement because they just don’t slow down.

I look back at the times they grew up in, and worked in, and they aren’t my times, nor those of my friends.

 
 

“Damm kids, wantn’ health care, education, and roads — ‘hey, you kids! Get off my, genetically engineered Kentucky bluegrass, lawn!!'”

 
 

“This is the irony of capitalism. It is not zero-sum, but it feels like it is. Capitalism coordinates humanity toward peaceful, productive cooperation, but it feels alienating.”

Stupidest. Sentence. Ever Written.

I wonder which lifestyle Jonah would pick: sitting at home counting his illegal immigrant labor money or picking fruit for $3/hour in the 100-degree California sun?

Yep. That’s not zero-sum. Not at all.

 
 

The Spoiled Children Of Capitalism.

AKA, the NRO staff.

Pot, meet kettle. You’re both black as Cheney’s evil heart.

 
 

What’s his point, anyway? I don’t get it.

Is he saying that people should be grateful they have a roof and a refrigerator? That they shouldn’t want more, want better? That it’s not the lack of cars or tvs that most people are complaining about, but rather the lack of economic security? Does he even understand the concept of economic security? Can he grasp that one of the major concerns of people is not today, but tomorrow? Can he even understand that most people don’t have the option of living just for the present, KNOWING without thinking about it that the future will take care of itself?

Is the larger insult contained within his foul opinion piece the lack of understanding of people’s real world fears and concerns, or is it the total lack of self awareness from which springs the rude hubris of his words?

mikey

 
 

It’s even worse than that chart suggests because the average wage is severely distorted by a relative handful of folks making eight or nine figures and up. This article provides a good overview:

“In 2004, the ratio of average CEO pay to the average pay of a production (i.e., non-management) worker was 431-to-1, up from 301-to-1 in 2003, according to “Executive Excess,” an annual report released Tuesday by the liberal research groups United for a Fair Economy and the Institute for Policy Studies.”

“The report also compares the growth in average CEO pay – which was $11.8 million in 2004 – to the growth in the minimum wage. Had the minimum wage risen as fast as CEO compensation since 1990, the researchers calculated, it would now be $23.03 an hour instead of just $5.15. And the average production worker would be making $110,126 a year instead of $27,460.”

 
 

I have to admit, if they take Gramm’s “nation of whiners” talking point and turn it into a useful attack vector, I’ll be pretty fucking impressed. What batshit insane thing can they say that won’t flourish in the wild? “Well, I guess we are whiners. I concede this important – nay, vital – point to my pundit overlords.”

I figure, for every BSG episode and Star Trek rerun these people memorize, there are twelve movies shown called, I dunno, “Arachnoid” or something, the plot of which is secretive-gov’t-agency creates monster, monster gets into rural area, suddenly thinks humans are a good food source, immediately run amok and do just great. Like “The Mist” – interdimensional door opened, fine. Horrible monstrous monsters emerge, cool. But each species immediately and indiscriminately attacks and consumes humans? Uses them to lay eggs and spread the species? Don’t you think they’d be a little less likely to succeed as our collective human intelligence and relative dominion over the earth might suggest? Like there are whales and dolphins going, “Fuck! We could have just eaten the fuckers!”

These movies must be the source of the “hyperaggressive mutant monster that consumes all” political philosophy. I used to think those movies were ridiculous, but now I think I’m giving up the library for the “Horror” section at Blockbuster.

 
 

Question #24:

Jonah Pantload is to public intellectuals as __________ is to piano concertos.

a) Beethoven’s Piano Concerto 2 in B flat minor
b) Tchaikovsky’s Piano Concerto 1
c) Mozart’s Piano Concerto 21 and 23
d) Chopsticks
e) Brahms Piano Concerto 2 in B flat major

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Jonah Pantload is to public intellectuals as __________ is to piano concertos.

Oh, oh, Mr. Kott-ah ask me! Mr. Kott-ah!

Is it a big steaming pile of crap?

 
Trilateral Chairman
 

Leaving religion out of it, no idea has given more to humanity.

The germ theory of disease? Vaccination? Sanitation? All of those have done more for humanity than capitalism has. Apparently Jonah doesn’t know anything about personal hygiene, though that doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.

And you have to love the timing with even the badly gimicked Job figures the worse they have been in years, oil at $130+ a barrel, the housing market in metldown mode, Goldberg picks this time to write the “you never had it so good” column.

Poor Jonah is one of those wingnut commentators who doesn’t *quite* know what he’s doing. The schtick about the ungrateful poor is as old as human society itself, I’d imagine, but most people are sensible enough to only try it when times are good and their audience is feeling rich. When the listeners actually *are* the allegedly ungrateful poor, it’s a different story.

I did like this, though:

“Why is there prosperity here but not there?” At the end of the day, the first answer is capitalism, rightly understood.

heh heh heh. Do you think he realizes what he wrote?

 
 

Corporate sleaze at its sleaziest:
http://www.financialpost.com/story.html?id=695459

Wal-Mart mobilizes managers against Democrats: report

Reuters
Published: Friday, August 01, 2008

Wal-Mart Stores Inc. is mobilizing U.S. store managers to lobby against Democrats in November’s presidential election, fearing they will make it easier for workers to unionize, The Wall Street Journal reported on Friday.

In recent weeks, thousands of Wal-Mart managers and department heads have been summoned to mandatory meetings at which the retailer stresses the downside for workers if store workers unionize, the paper said.

About a dozen employees who attended meetings in seven states said executives stressed employees would have to pay hefty union dues and get nothing in return, and might have to go on strike without compensation, and warned that unionization could force the company to cut jobs as labour costs rise, the Journal reported.

The Wal-Mart human-resources managers who have run the meetings didn’t tell those attending how to vote in the November elections, but made it clear that voting for the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, Sen. Barack Obama, would be tantamount to inviting unions in, the Journal said.

 
 

Ok, liberal fascists, how many people today die of plague? HUH? That’s what I thought.

 
Tim (The Other One)
 

maybe if I robbed a bank or two my humanity would get coordinated.

 
 

Shorter Jonah in two parts:

A. Capitalism is great because it inspires people to work hard to get more money, which they shouldn’t want because they have plenty already.

B. The government should not play parent because citizens are sovereign individuals who have a personal responsibility to be obedient and like it because who puts food on the table and gives you a roof to sleep under?

 
 

I do not need to hear this lecture from Jonah Fucking Goldberg.

 
 

Jonah Pantload is to public intellectuals as __________ is to piano concertos.

f)a really bad beginner piano tuning?

 
 

Abridged Jonah: No, the economy is not bad. Vote McCain!

Jonah’s perfect job–clerk in comic book store, who is fired because the other clerks can’t stand him.

 
 

This is the irony of capitalism. It is not zero-sum, but it feels like it is.
OK. Pantload is snorting Cheetoh dust, mainlining Mountain Dew, and huffing Aqua Velva. The reason capitalism feels like a zero sum game is because it is a zero sum game. It is in fact the basic model employed by game theorists in developing the notion of the zero sum game. It has also been far from peaceful as capital has routinely employed violence against workers to force their subjugation. This was routine up through the 1930s. It is only through the development of a strong union movement and the intervention of the federal government that anything even remotely resembling civility has appeared. Fucking privileged assholes like Goldberg, who have never had to work for anything, really should be forced to work at minimum wage cleaning toilets for a year.

 
 

Jonah Pantload is to public intellectuals as __________ is to piano concertos.

g) Armpit farts?

 
 

“Fucking privileged assholes like Goldberg, who have never had to work for anything, really should be forced to work at minimum wage cleaning toilets for a year.”

as much as the image pleases – you know what a piss poor job he’d do and why should innocents suffer as well? Better he clean the gum off the bottom of park benches.

To him Capatilism is not a zero sum game because everytime he got to a zero sum his mother would give him more money.

 
 

“Jonah Pantload is to public intellectuals as __________ is to piano concertos.”

h) Creed

 
 

Imagine Jonah vs. Beef Supreme- Forever!

 
 

I’m sure Jonah remembers the invasion of Iraq. It was why he said this:

Q: If you’re the leader of a peaceful and prosperous nation which serves as the last best hope of humanity and the backbone of international stability and a bunch of fanatics murder thousands of your people on your own soil, what’s one of the smartest thing you can do?

A: Knock the crap out of Iraq.

Why Iraq? Well, there are two answers to that question.

The first answer is “Why not?” (If it helps, think of Bluto burping “Why not?” in Animal House.)

The second answer: Iraq deserved it.

Now. Here’s the important part: Both of these are good answers.

Bonus cheeto flakes:

That’s one of the funny things about doing the right thing: You can come up with an endless supply of reasons why it’s right. That makes sense since that’s how the world works. Things that are right are right for a zillion reasons and things that are wrong are wrong for a zillion reasons. Fire burns because it’s hot and fire burns because your nerves feel the heat. Neither explanation is less right than the other. Ducks do not make plutonium because ducks do not contain nuclear processors and because plutonium would kill waterfowl. Neither explanation is less wrong than the other. In mathematics this principle is demonstrated in its purest form. 2 + 2 = 4, because 2 and 2 add up to four. But four is also four because 2 times 2 equals 4. Also, one plus one plus one plus one equals four. And pretty much every way you come at it, four is going to be four if everything that goes into it adds up (subtracts down, or whatever) to four.

 
 

Jonah Pantload is to public intellectuals as __________ is to piano concertos.

Ralph Wiggum with a flute up his nose?

 
 

I do believe Wikipedia is more credible than Jonah, so I gotta ask how they managed to come up with that footnote.

The source for Jonah being so widely read is Keppler Speakers. They say, “One of the most prominent young conservatives on the scene today, political speaker Jonah Goldberg is America’s most widely-read political columnist under the age of 40.” No citation there.

It’s not that hard to see how he would be the most widely read one under 40, though I don’t know how great his company is on that front.

Speaking of Jonah: I cannot stand how he is able to say bullshit like black=white, up=down, communism=fascism. It doesn’t make any fucking sense, unless he’s going for the “a really broad picture of fascism has certain things in common with out-of-context aspects of liberalism.” And it still doesn’t make any fucking sense.

I wish someone would publish a book in response with the title Communist Nazis: How that Book that Jonah Wrote is Bullshit, and You’ll Believe Anything as It Doesn’t Tell You that You are Wrong – And How That Makes You an Idiot.

Title too long?

 
 

“Leaving religion out of it, no idea has given more to humanity.”

Gosh, and here I thought that the Renaissance and Pasteurization and the scientific method were pretty spiffy. But boy was I wrong!

“The average working-class person today is richer, in real terms, than the average prince or potentate of 300 years ago.”

Well, in a made-up sort of way, yeah. True, Queen Victoria didn’t have a broadband internet connection or Dr. Pepper.

“Capitalism coordinates humanity toward peaceful, productive cooperation…”

You know, just like mafia crime families coordinating neighborhoods toward better italian food.

“Meanwhile, billions have ridden capitalism out of poverty.”

Like those Enron lucky-ducks!

 
 

The average working-class person today is richer, in real terms, than the average prince or potentate of 300 years ago.

So which is it, Jonah? Stuff is wealth, or not?

True wealth is the opportunity to work as a stocker at Wal*mart, obviously.

 
 

Jonah Pantload is to public intellectuals as a poke in the ear with a sharp stick is to piano concertos.

 
 

The average working-class person today is richer, in real terms, than the average prince or potentate of 300 years ago.

Holy shit, and to think I felt sorry for that whiny Catherine the Great making my chicken at KFC the other night.

*snort*

 
 

Ah, the glories of Capitalism! It may not have given us such beauteous sights as the Spanish Inquisition or extermination of “heathen” tribes in N. America, but we do get WalMart, Entertainment Tonite & 24 Hour Brittany updates, etc.

I’m glad the Pantload shared this bounty on the same day our wonderful Calif. governor Schwarzenneger is laying off thousands. Link at http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2008/08/01/MNEP122S2P.DTL

That’s one of the glories of capitalism. To be able to lay off the “little people”, as well as try to cut their wages to the federal minimum, which is BELOW the poverty line for full time workers (something like $16K a year; imagine a single adult, much less family, trying to live on that).

But hey, capitalism gives us things we want: Union busting and a strutting, arrogant media celeb. like Schwarzenneger (it’s only BAD to be a celeb. when you’re a Negro or Demo. like Obama) who could publicly revel over his attacks on nurses, “I kick dere butts! Ha ha!” Capitalism rewards Wingnuts & War Criminals with cushy jobs (think Rumsfeld at the Hoover Institution, and oh, how’s Judy Miller making money these days; sure she’s set up w/ something) and punishes the less “competitive” with homelessness and poverty. Oh well–

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

OT, but my favorite TIME personality Michael Scherer has finally managed to take JiSM3’s melanoma-free appendage out of his mouth long enough to give him free ad time even after Howard Kurtz explained the whole thing.

The add? Obama is Jesus. It’s Paul and John all over again. But get this, he ends the piece saying “one of the quotes is under dispute”. Remember again that this is the “you’re taking the 100 years thing out of context” campaign. The one quote Head Head-Giver Scherer is referring to is the “become a symbol…” which has been pretty thoroughly debunked.

He misses:
“a light will shine down…” – clearly taken out of context. But no surprise that Scherer thinks that Barack actually sees himself as Jesus – that’s what McCain told him to think.
The Lara Logan interview question – Quelle surprise Out of context it was a follow-up to a question about being readt to be C-in-C. But no surprise that Scherer thinks that Barack really meant that he never had any doubts about anything – that’s what McCain told him to think.
And the final quote? About the rise of the oceans? – Out of context – as if you hadn’t already guessed. This is the bit that precedes the quote that demonstrates Obama is full of himself:

The journey will be difficult. The road will be long. I face this challenge with profound humility, and knowledge of my own limitations. But I also face it with limitless faith in the capacity of the American people. Because if we are willing to work for it, and fight for it, and believe in it, then I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment…

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

readt = ready. It looked right in Preview:. I blame The Surge.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Oh, and then he Updates: a second time, with another McCain ad. It’d be simpler if Scherer just stepped aside and let Rick Davis blog for him instead.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

The only silver lining in Michael Scherer’s adoration of Melanoma-Free McCain is that it gave me another excuse to google Lara Logan.

 
 

An excuse is a good excuse, Dragon-King. That lady is a tall glass of all right, in my book. Mmmm…

 
 

Yep, those socialist kibbutzes. Doomed to failure, all of them…

…since being systematically dismantled by wave after wave of right-wing politicians intent on destroying any notions that collective action actually works. (Funny how nobody ever notices that right-wingers working in concert with each other all over the world is a collective action, huh?)

 
 

since being systematically dismantled by wave after wave of right-wing politicians intent on destroying any notions that collective action actually works.*

*With the exception of illegal settlements which, while not economically viable, are totally different ‘n stuff.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

That lady is a tall glass of all right, in my book.

It’s not just that she’s stunningly hot, or the sexay accent. She’s attractive even in transcripts.

 
 

“…The average working-class person today is richer, in real terms, than the average prince or potentate of 300 years ago…”

But is he richer, in any terms, than the “average” prince or potentate of TODAY?

 
 

“No idea has given more to humanity…” What a crock! What about the invention of the Printing Press? Chlorinated Water? Discovery of the Potato?

And the *idea* of religion, especially christianity, has done humanity more evil, more harm than any other “Idea” EVER.

 
 

What a crock! What about the invention of the Printing Press?

That’s capitalism at it’s finest: the first major use of the printing press, in Europe, was to produce indulgences which could be sold on a mass scale.

I always find it interesting that free market radicals never seem to look to the logical outcomes of their arguments — the darkside of capitalism, for instance; the sale of organs, slavery, prostitution, and pretty much anything else that could (and thus should) be commodified and sold. Or the natural tendency of free markets to create monopolies which become anti-captialistic.

 
 

but i like cheetos!

 
 

(ahem) I like cheetos too, mikey. It’s just another thing the wingnuts have stolen away from us, along with the flag, pie and prescription pain killers

Wingnut bastards. It’s gotten so I can’t even drink a Mountain Dew in public anymore.

 
 

It’s just another thing the wingnuts have stolen away from us

You think YOU have it bad. Gay guys can’t have public sex, cheat on their spouses, hire prostitutes, molest underage employees, or hate on each other anymore without being mistaken for Republicans.
What’s left? Monogamy? Honesty? Responsible, life-affirming choices that consider the safety and feelings of oneself and others?

Fuck that shit!

 
Innocent Bystander
 

Lessee…as the general economy goes in the crapper….who’s doing well? Well, we have Rush Limbaugh at $400MM and Sean Hannity at $100MM. Lower down the food chain, Jonah and chorus of similar sycophants are getting subsidies from the RW feeding trough to convince the rubes that the shit they are eating is really fudge. Interesting how those that are willing to tell you how well things are going, when they aren’t, are making out like bandits.

There’s no money in telling the truth, that’s a sucker’s game. But being able to tell, well crafted lies…that’s paid a premium by those that want to keep things just the way they are.

 
 

The subtext of Jonah’s rant, since it has no basis in fact: He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. He’s got oodles of money. He doesn’t worry about the mortgage or the gas prices. He’s not worried about his health or his safety. He can afford all the cheetos he wants and if he wants them hand made and sprinkled with gold dust he can probably get them delivered to his door. His future is assured because mommy’s inheritance will cover everything. He’s sitting on a fluffy cloud with nary a care in the world. He’s never worked a real job and, like Bush, has never really had to rely on his own efforts to survive. He’s an idiot child still in diaper clomping around in man shoes, smoking a man pipe, pretending he’s a grown up. Strip all that income and dependency away and what would you have, a guy pumping gas at the local Shell station.

 
 

“The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they alone knew everything and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for girls, they areforward, immodest and unwomanly in speech, behaviour and dress.”

-Plato, or Socrates – 4th century BC

“We live in a decaying age. Young people no longer respect
their parents. They are rude and impatient. They frequently
inhabit taverns and have no self control.”

-Inscription, 6000 year-old Egyptian tomb

Just as prostitution is said to be the “world’s oldest profession,” this must be the “world’s oldest complaint.”

That’s ancient Greek and Egyptian hieroglyphic for “You kids get off my lawn!!!!”

 
 

Ambrpse bierce: war Is capitalism with the gloves off.

 
 

Strip all that income and dependency away and what would you have, a guy pumping gas at the local Shell station.

I think you mean a guy passing gas in the parking lot of the local Shell station, subsisting on a diet of dumpster-foraged hot dog gristle. Which might be a euphemism.

 
 

[…] Roosevelt saved capitalism from people like Jonah Goldberg. 1 08 2008 The folks at Sadly No! should be getting combat pay. I have no idea how they can wade through stuff like this day after […]

 
 

[…] News » News News Comment on Hoo Boy by WEB Adamant2008-08-01 17:19:12They say, “One of the age … widely read is Keppler Speakers. They say, “One […]

 
 

I haven’t read the comments to this thread, but I can’t wait til Pantload’s kids are teenagers.

 
 

The average working-class person today is richer, in real terms, than the average prince or potentate of 300 years ago.

The potentate of 1708 lived in a gigantic mansion filled with servants willing to attend his every need. His mansion was decorated with fine art, some of which came from far off countries the average person had never heard of. He received the finest education available. He hobnobbed with the finest artists, intellectuals and scientists. He might even become somebody’s patron, supporting some neglected genius and ensuring that his own name would live through history. Hell, even if he was a useless pig his name would probably still adorn the history books. He could travel the world, seeing all the great works of humanity in person.

I’m gonna spend tonight eating a TV dinner and watching Wheel of Fortune.

Point: Christopher!

Incidentally, what do you suppose this is:

Of course, being an old story doesn’t make it a universal one. But the dynamic is universally understood.

It doesn’t add anything to his argument (such as it is). It’s like he’s anticipating a backlash, and this is his way of saying, “See, I did so think about the objections to my argument! I am too a real intellectual!”

 
 

Does the Pantload have kids? I thought he was a virgin like our friend, Ben.

 
 

The potentate of 1708 lived in a gigantic mansion filled with servants willing to attend his every need….

Point: Christopher! indeed.

Remember, though, Pantload thinks he’s an average working-class person.

Hell, even if he was a useless pig his name would probably still adorn the history books.

Heh. Jonah has more in common with the potentate of 1708 than I thought! At least if you count his own history books.

 
 

…richer, in real terms, than the average prince or potentate of 300 years ago. His food is better, his life longer, his health better, his menu of entertainments vastly more diverse, his toilette infinitely more civilized.

You could say this about a convict with TV privileges in a federal pen.
The conflation of technological advance with wealth and, thus to their minds, capitalism, is a Heritage hat-trick that’s moronic on so many levels, which is why they keep on doing it.

And yet we constantly hear how cruel capitalism is while this collectivism or that is more loving because, unlike capitalism, collectivism is about the group, not the individual.

It never comes as a surprise that the biggest amateur shills for captalism always overlook the People’s Republic of China, which last I looked, is still a one-party Communist state that’s about to own our asses.

 
 

The thing I treasure most about the times we live in is dental anesthesia. Which has only existed since the mid 1800’s.

And was discovered by a bunch of people getting high for fun.

But is Jonah grateful to the DFH of the 1800’s?

Sadly, no.

 
 

“…always overlook the People’s Republic of China, which last I looked, is still a one-party Communist state that’s about to own our asses.”

Excuse me, but “about to”? I think it is fairly obvious that they already own them and are just having a little fun with us before the monetary whip comes down.

If lazy, not-even-good-enough-to-be-pseudo-intellectualism a la Pantload isn’t a sign of a declining empire, then I don’t know what is. Hell, he even looks like Nero and I’ll bet mommy paid for fiddle lessons when he was a larvae.

 
 

OBVIOUSLY we’re all better off than princes and potentates from 300 years ago. How many VCRs did THEY have? Or TVs? Hell, I have TWO DVD players. Take that, Louis XIV!

 
 

(I can’t resist)

Jonah: “Capitalism coordinates humanity toward peaceful, productive cooperation, but it feels alienating.”

Alienating? What is this pinko Jonah person doing? Channeling Marx or something?

Read Das Capital. Marx goes on at quite some length about alienation, particularly in economic terms where the “worker” is “alienated” from the “fruits of his labor” by the “capitalist” – Marx calls this the “theory of surplus value”

Jonah. Are you a closet commo? Who knew, who knew …. (mutter, mutter)

 
 

“Leaving religion out of it, no idea has given more to humanity.”

Yeah, Jonah, you tell ’em – that thing with using fire? A mere fad! Agriculture? Tres gauche! Written language? Second-rate! How dare you all mock someone with such an obviously lucid grasp of humankind!

“Meanwhile, billions have ridden capitalism out of poverty.”

No, billions have ridden TECHNOLOGY out of poverty – take that away, & most of us will surely die in short order. Hard work & commitment to improve themselves through education, yes. Capitalism? Not so much. BCCI, Nugan Hand, Enron, Tyco et al weren’t exactly a gravy-train for the little fish that poured their life’s savings into them.

Meanwhile, many hundreds of millions have ridden capitalism into mass-graves: neither World War was either inevitable nor shocking, & both were preceded by (& at least partially caused by) some heavy-duty free-market profit-taking via arms races. That template precedes nearly every single major war in modern history – some of which also generated famines & plagues as a “Special Free Bonus” for all the lucky peasants who survived them. Those wars weren’t bugs of capitalism’s internal code – they were features.

“Capitalism coordinates humanity toward peaceful, productive cooperation …”

Capitalism’s predicate is competition. If you think co-operation is a synonym for competition, you need to get a dictionary.

 
 

“The average working-class person today is richer, in real terms, than the average prince or potentate of 300 years ago.”

yeah, if you just forget all the fucking real estate.

 
 

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