Just To Say…

…Since I’ve pissed off so many people below, I wanna point out a couple of things:

  • Look, I went too far in saying Obama is doooooooooomed. But he will be if his only rebuttal to McCain is to whine about his taking “the low road.” Well, no shit McCain is taking the low road — after years of failed Republican governments, the low road is all he and his pals have left.
  • My personal preference is for the Democrats to just smack these bastards silly and never be nice. Obama has obviously painted himself into a corner with his “politics of change” theme, but that doesn’t mean his surrogates can’t start whacking St. BBQ around on a daily basis. This is, of course, why I was so annoyed with the Obama crew for not having Wes Clark’s back when he made the very obvious point that getting shot down in a plane does not a president make.
  • Finally, I want there to be more out-and-out ridicule against the Republicans. There is a definite mockery gap between the two parties, as the Republicans have figured out how to “BWAH-HA-HAAA!!!” Democrats and really make it stick. If you don’t believe me, consider: “I never inhaled,” “I invented the Internet,” tank helmets, and windsurfing. Yes, all this stuff is childish, but it fucking works. Ridiculing and demeaning your opponents in a childish manner is something that the average voter respects. Personally speaking, I’d like to start rumors about how McCain has an unseemly and un-American lobster fetish. Maybe we could even launch a 527 called Swift Crustaceans for the Truth to expose how McCain has for years been molesting innocent sea creatures at his elitist island home on the Cayman Islands.

The point is, somebody needs to start doing dirty tricks. Somebody needs to take the low road. Because if Obama lets the spite gap get out of control, we’re all going to be holding our heads the day after Election Day mumbling bitterly about how our candidate was smarter, had better ideas, was more positive, etc., but still lost. As another like-minded blogger has pointed out, “These rats ain’t gonna fuck themselves.”


[Pic via Jazz From Hell]

 

Comments: 116

 
 
Emperor U.S.A. (the naked truth)
 

I, for one, welcome this more cynical, surly Brad.

Don’t know if that’s an endorsement you’d want, but hey, there ya go. I didn’t have a problem with your previous post at all.

 
 

Yeah. See, that’s the problem I was trying to explain to Ken on the other thread. We can’t always take the high road. If we do, we’re doomed.

 
 

Hey, fucking wordpress ate my pithy remark, specifically:

You wanna talk doooomed?

Manny’s going to LA

 
 

Well, what’s stoppin’ ya? You got media contracts, start stirring shit up. Hell, start making shit up, if you really want to wallow in the filth. Matt Drudge is just a well-connected shmuck in a stupid hat.

 
 

Finally, I want there to be more out-and-out ridicule against the Republicans.

Then stop posting this whiny shit and bring it. We’ll do our bit.

 
 

McCain is a short guy so he has to take the low road and we should accomodate his disability !

 
 

If we do, we’re doomed.

Except, as many, many people pointed out, there’s no indication that we are doomed. So what’s the dealy, yo?

 
 

What’s unseemly about a lobster fetish? They love it, the tarts.

 
 

You can’t take the high road with these people because you won’t find them walking it, ever!

 
 

I think Obama could be more aggressive.

I don’t think it ultimately will determine whether he becomes president or not. How often did you see Bill Clinton baring his teeth in ’92? He didn’t need to. His opponent was a weak old man whose domestic policy had demonstrably failed. There were stupid smears even back then, and they had their impact, but they couldn’t match the impact of Clinton going around the country looking and acting more like the president than the president did.

 
Gary Ruppert Number Two
 

The point is, somebody needs to start doing dirty tricks. Somebody needs to take the low road.

The fact is, the DNC would be smart to hire some of the SadlyNaughts and form a ridicule department.

 
 

Except, as many, many people pointed out, there’s no indication that we are doomed. So what’s the dealy, yo?

OK, maybe you’re right.

 
 

Ridicule is good. People like ridicule.

 
 

Obama should just kick McCain in the nuts at their first debate and be like: ‘Fuck you old man! Yer half-gook with all the time you spent with the zipperheads after getting shot done like a fucking pussy, ya cocksucking Depends-wearin’ wetback-lovin’ Manchurian candidate!’ … then pull out his cock and fuck the miserable old fuck right in the mouth.

That would be cool, huh, Brad?

 
 

Well it’s clear that Obama won’t be getting any help from the McCainiacs.

I’m with Brad. We need to win at yelling.

 
a different brad
 

I hate to harp on a theme, but it’s so fucking early. The braindead “low information” voters who decide an election don’t have the attention span to even remember Obama and McCain are the candidates between now and the final couple weeks.
You dismissed Kerry’s wins in the debates, but that was different for so many reasons, not the least of which is Obama just might have the killer instinct Kerry lacked. Yeah, Kerry won easily, but on points. He could have put Bush down for the count at several points, and didn’t. Obama will have fewer chances with McCain, but they’ll be there, and I think what O does at those moments may decide the election.
A clean punch can be just as effective as a dirty one, you just have to be more patient in waiting for the chance to land it.

 
 

This sort of ridiculous childish whiny bullshit only works when you have the right media groups on your side. McCain and surrogates can act like 10-year-old brats because the media will join along in the fun. Obama has to act like the adult or everyone piles on him for acting like a brat.

The deck is perpetually stacked against the populist when the populist desires things that go against the establishment’s plans. The media is owned by the establishment, so when the establishment wants us to spend 100 more years in Iraq because it’s a gravy train that never runs out, the anti-war candidate is never going to get a fair shake in the news.

This was never going to be fair or easy for Obama. He’s being forced to take the high road because if he tried to Swift Boat McCain, he’d be crucified for it.

Right now, Obama is taking the winning strategy. You can tell. He’s winning. I know this is a “change” election, but why on earth would Obama want to “change” now when every trend line is moving in his direction?

 
 

i’m with brad, or differenet brad. or maybe both.

fucking hit mccain in the mouth. he’s a bad bad person. the story of what he did to his first wife is HIDEOUS. i’m working to put together a doc about it and get it released ASAP. we shall see. but he’s just execrable. i think for obama to show the kind of leadership that america has shown it wants (over and over for the past 50 years) being the biggest fucking lying asshole is de rigeur. it’s what’s for breakfast. it’s change we can believe in. lie. cheat. hate. twist. spin. kill.

alternatives include losing and retaining your dignity.

 
 

We can Win at Yelling.

and no enzymes for WordPress.

 
 

“This is, of course, why I was so annoyed with the Obama crew for not having Wes Clark’s back when he made the very obvious point that getting shot down in a plane does not a president make.”

Yeah, and remember how for a whole week later Clark was saying it on every 50 cent pundit show and each and every time Obama was all like “SHUT UP already GENERAL CLARK! You’re killing me. I can’t believe you KEEP BRINGING THIS UP EVERY DAY FOR A WEEK. Quiet about McCain’s presidential qualifications!”

Pssst: Even when a candidate “rejects” a statement (then the General keeps explaining what he said and why he said it), it might be PART OF AN ACT. Or, if not, I hear that politicians don’t always mean what they say.

Obama’s got to run “above it all”, as you pointed out. So of course he ‘rejected’ the comment. But Clark kept making it — and if the campaign, a campaign as tight as this, didn’t want him making it, he would have shut up.

ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHh

 
 

Attacks(even nasty low road ones) against McCain surrogates, especially ROVE, could be highly effective. We’ve got an excellent tool at hand, YouTube.

I’ve never used it, but shouldn’t take long to figure out.

 
 

Jay B: You have it! When McCain puts out a nasty add, the Repugs clutch their fake pearls and moan about it, showing it over and over and over…

 
 

The spite gap: I love that. I have to wonder if these folks really want to win, if it means hurting anyone’s feelings. So yes to recounting his treatment of the first Mrs McCain, reminding people of his wobbly positions, and playing up that he could have served in Washington’s first administration. Have we not had enough of clueless oldsters (cf Reagan, Bush pére) that we need more of that?

 
 

McCain should choose me as a running mate. I will eat Obama’s lofty rhetoric for breakfast, lunch AND dinner!

 
a different brad
 

Or put it this way, if Obama waits until after the Conventions to strike a more aggressive stance, McCain’s camp will have that much less time to react.
I plain don’t know what Obama is going to do, but rope a dope certainly seems like a viable plan here. I hope he rises to that final chance and challenge, obviously.

 
 

What happened to the good, old-fashioned, “Are you better off now than you were eight years ago?”

The answer, for almost every American, would be, “No.”

People who own homes, people who buy gasoline, people who wait in lines at the airport, swarthy people, people who invest in the dollar, people who own small businesses, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

I think that this could be a very powerful approach. Tied in, of course, with the crotch-punching and the mouth-fucking and so on.

 
 

I have to agree with Zifnab.

And I dunno, I think McCain is doing his own negative work, what with the whining, the jealousy, the defensiveness.

 
 

McCain: Oil Puppet

WordPress: Goatse fetish

 
 

I don’t have any problem with negative campaigning, but it isn’t automatically the right strategy in every instance. I’m not so sure that trashing the media’s favorite war hero is a great move for a candidate who already makes the media establishment uncomfortable.

For what it’s worth, I just caught a glimpse of an anti-McCain ad here in MD while waiting for the novocaine to kick in at the dentist. It’s not like they don’t exist.

 
 

Would running ads with Abe Simpson yelling at clouds be wrong?

 
 

Vicki Iseman! Vicki Iseman! Vicki Iseman!
Old and tired! Old and tired! Old and tired!
4 more years of Bush! 4 more years of Bush!
100 years in Iraq! 100 years in Iraq!
Private jets! Private jets! Private jets!
Keating 5! Keating 5! Keating 5!

My thought is that Obama HQ isn’t going to take that route, not just yet anyway. So, we need to do it. High quality videos, e-mails, letters to the editors (why hasn’t McCain been spanked over public financing? also, see above points). Every day should be Harsh on McCain Day on the blogs, without mercy.

Granted, he’s choking his own campaign right now, but we can’t afford to give him any breathing room.

 
 

Brad B: You’re forgetting that Clinton had Ross Perot as a spoiler in ’92. I think the Obama campaign could successfully take a lower detour road, maintain the high road, and throw a party on the easement.

 
 

So Hugh, you’re saying the surrogates gas it on the low shoulder with the main part of the campaign keeping pace on the parkway and Obama himself sticking to the frontage until they all get to the crossroads? I like it!

 
 

Ya wanna talk doomed?
Manny’s going to LA.

Oh how I chortled when I saw that:

1. The Red Sox lose the heart of their lineup for a guy with lesser stats, who’s played in a no-pressure situation Pittsburgh; wait ’til he goes on a 0-12 tear, the media and “fans” in Bahstan will be all over his shit

2. The hated, despised Dodgers get a major headcase who might even be a worst outfielder than Garrett Anderson and they’ll take a salary hit and probably not be able to re-sign him

3. The Angels path to the World Series just got a little easier

[Bono voice] It’s a beautiful daaaaaaaay!

As to the thread, I’ve only ever voted for Democrats because the Rethugs are beyond the pale (I’m a Scandinavian-type Socialist); if they punt this election, which is being handed to them on a plate, they’ll lose my vote forever. This is a nation of really petty, small people who are more concerned with trivia and making sure the faggots and niggers and bitches don’t get anything, not a fucking scrap, if the Democrats do their usual “But….but….we had ideas!!” crap, they deserve political oblivion. *After* they’re paraded through the streets of DC so they can be pelted with rotten fruit and vegetables.

Don’t change Brad. The Red Sox are done, I don’t want the Dems in November to add to your woes then.

 
 

Every day should be Harsh on McCain Day on the blogs, without mercy.

Agreed. None of this Obama is dooooooooooooooooomed horseshit.

 
a different brad
 

I believe the Red Sox are covering all of Manny’s remaining salary for the year, HH.

 
 

I’d like to see some enterprising group … maybe a veterans’ group … buy a bus, put some sign on it that mocks “straight talk express” and follow McCain around heckling him everywhere he goes.

 
 

So Manny helps the Dodgers to 87 wins and the Western Division.

They don’t have the horses to get themselves past the Mets, the Phillies, the Cubs or the Brewskis. The over/under on their playoff wins is 1.

Then Manny goes for about 30 million as a fee agent. You think Lou’s gonna want Manny in his freakin clubhouse? C’mon…

mikey

 
 

Cindy McCain – 40 years = Paris Hilton

 
 

The fact is, liberal bias in the media will keep the Obamessiah bulletproof while cheap snipes about McCain being old get traction. The coverage is very unbalanced, McCain does not get equal time at all, proof that they are biased. If people got the truth about how Obama is a terroist sympathizing USA hater, this would be over, but they cover up for him. Why the bias?

 
 

Jason Bay gives them the same production at the plate that Manny gave them, without the attitude or the adventures in the outfield or on the bases. And that “no pressure” thing is horseshit – he’s a major league baseball player, not some 6 year old tee-ball player. If he couldn’t handle pressure, he’d have been weeded out long ago.

Also, I like McCain’s bowtie. Adorable.

 
 

The debates may not help. At both the Gore and Kerry debates the PaleoBlogs said “as long as Bush doesn’t fall to the fetal position, drooling, he wins”. This was after fuckers like Tweety called them all for Gore/Kerry (until getting the memo to STFU and pretend Bush ‘won’…check out Somerby for the history of that bullshit…focus groups saying 90-10 Gore/Kerry ‘won’, a single Angry White Guy Jerkoff saying Gore sounded like a ‘know-it-all’, ergo Bush ‘won’, stop the presses!!!).

Look, what did Bush ever do when he ran? Sputtered ill-remembered Talking Points about Uniting, Compassion, Dignitude, while his Lee Atwater wannabes socked us in the mouth and took the Presidency. Exactly when are we going to start socking back if not now? This country might not make it through 4 More Bush Years.

I had a Chicago Cop tell me last night that “Pieces of shit” on her beat were popping out kids to get more money from the Gummint, Obama has no experience and he’s going to raise taxes. This from a life-long Democrat!

 
 

One thing to remember is that the McCain campaign has people doing its dirty work that don’t actually work for its campaign. I mean, frak, terrorist fist jab anyone?

Now, personally I would looooooooooooooooove it if Obama’s surrogates openly mocked the right wing in general. Whether that would ensure a win for him, or just assuage a psychological need I have I don’t know. You have to remember though, there is more than one way to win a political campaign. Frankly McCain’s attacks (and those of the right wing in general) have made them look stupid, silly and petty (not that I get a vote in this). So far Obama’s nonchalance in the matter has made everybody on the right angrier and stupider, which is probably the best combination possible.

 
a different brad
 

I dunno, mikey. You really think Manny’ll make that much on the market?
He’s a big defensive negative, like no else short of Giambi, and teams aren’t going to line up to give record amounts for a DH with attitude issues.
I’d assume the Dodgers exercise at least one of the option years just to make the trade vaguely justifiable. LaRoche is worth more than two months of Manny.

 
 

Dude, I’m not pissed. I just think you’re wrong.

 
 

2 things about this, bigby.

First, it is important to remember that Gore WON in 2000. Bush lost. Both popular vote and electoral college. The fact that he was able, through an unprecedented and highly unlikely set of legal and polictical maneuvers to get himself appointed president by the supreme court (we didn’t even know they could DO that!) doesn’t change the fact that your argument about the 2000 election is WRONG.

Also, there are a group of people who will not vote for Obama. This is a fact. They include your Chicago Cop “Democrat” and the earlier referenced racists. This is entirely well known and accepted fact. Many of us also believe that they will come out on the losing side in November, as many more rational people will be forced by the blatant catastrophe that is the last eight years to vote for the NotBush candidate, and frankly? I don’t think it’ll even be close…

mikey

 
 

Actually, let me expand on that. I think your previous post, by itself, was wrong. I think you’re right on target here and I agree.

And yes, The Editor’s “these rats ain’t gonna fuck themselves” should be our clarion call.

Off for some rodential debauchery.

 
 

adb, it was my understanding that in order to get him to approve the trade the dodgers had to agree to NOT exercise that club option. If that’s not the case, then unless he just pisses Lou off beyond the pale, yeah, they’ll likely take that deal.

But if he goes on the free agent market, it’ll only take three serious suitors to drive the price up into the high twenties anyway…

mikey

 
 

The fact is, liberal bias. The Heartland. USA Power.

 
 

And yes, The Editor’s “these rats ain’t gonna fuck themselves” should be our clarion call.

It does beat the hell out of the Obama = McGovern ’72 And There’s Nothing We Can Do About It dirge. It was funny, too!

 
a different brad
 

Hmm, dunno, mikey. Not mentioned in the ESPN writeup. Really, really shitty trade for the Dodgers, if you’re right.

 
Gary Ruppert Number Two
 

Would running ads with Abe Simpson yelling at clouds be wrong?

The fact is, it would be awesome for a 527 to run. But you’d never get Murdoch-owned Fox to authorize the use.

 
 

Obama is no turn-the-other-cheek loser. In his State Senate race he managed to get his main opponent disqualified. He kicked Fox News off his campaign plane (for a while, at least). By amazing coincidence, the New Yorker did not get one of the seats on the international trip. He’s mastering the art of using surrogates (Jay B’s comment about Wes Clark is spot on). Obama’s mean enough as well as smart enough to win.

 
 

Yeah, I’m with you on all that, Mikey, and I protested in December, 2000 in front of the White House (yeah, dumb locale, but I was in the “There is TIME to COUNT every fucking VOTE” camp then), but it still seems crazy to me. When I said “uh, gas was $1.60 in 2000 and $5.00 today annnd you’re complaining about the 50 cents that comes out of your taxes for ‘Welfare’ but sliding BushCo on that?!?!”…the response? “Obama will raise gas prices and taxes”!!!!
Seriously, this person is a “Democrat” (she’s a frickin’ Lesbian for crying out loud who wants to marry her current girlfriend!) but talking to her, I just get the sense that she listens all day to Hannity and Limbaugh, or asshole partners who have them both lodged in their DNA and who make homophobic jokes all damn day but who does she believe? Not the East Coast Libbrul, that’s for sure. Not to mention that everything bad in their lives is due to the Daley Machine fucking up Chicago for the past 60 yrs.

Well, I love this town, warts and all, and right now I’m gonna go drink in it!

 
 

Great point. And you put in me mind of a hilarious anecdote about LBJ which I repeat fondly at every opportunity (or whenever the mood strikes me).

It seems that LBJ, who like many Dems was never lily-livered about pulling out all the stops against an adversary, once had a formidable opponent in a primary race for Congress. He instructed his campaign manager to spread a rumor that said opponent, shall we say, had a less-than-natural relationship with the hogs in his barn. Incredulously, his campaign manager protested that they could never sell an idea like that about the guy.

“Maybe not,” conceded Johnson, “but we can sure as hell make that son of a bitch have to come out and deny it.”

I say we borrow a stained leaf from LBJ’s grimy little manual. Let’s go maximum and make ’em use up all their time and energy denying it, whatever the hell it is.

And btw it’s time to dispense with all the “sacred cows” the Dems are so leery of daring to offend: the Military! the Flah! the Free Market! Israel! Hell, there is no reason on earth why we should continue pandering to the very people who hate our guts and are gonna vote Repuke anyway.

 
 

Obama’s game is to get the other side to explain why their ad isn’t the “low road”. It’s not for Obama to provide the answers, it’s for Obama to ask the questions, bee-otch. Like any good lawyer, he knows the answers to his questions far in advance, but he’s got to put the other side in the box and make them say it.

Smacking those bastards, on the other hand, sounds like fun. When do we start?

 
 

Never gonna give you up!

Someday I’m going to learn those mad Rick Asstley dance mooves.

In the meantime, where’s the John McCain green screen Rick Roll?

How about something along these lines?

I see Brad over at the Haus of Sad is lamenting the lack McLame mockery. I’d do it myself, but I don’t even know how to photoshop.

(Cross posted at threeBulls.)
~

 
 

The point is, somebody needs to start doing dirty tricks. Somebody needs to take the low road.

I agree 100%, Brad. The pathological narcissists who dominate the media and Republican party view tolerance as weakness, and weakness as evil. They’re mentally wired to hate excellence, and the *only* things their authoritarian minds respect are aggression and revenge. Every time Obama has fought back hard they’ve backed off, whimpering. If he lets up now the race will be close enough in november that the rethugs will steal their third election in a row. Taking the high road against these monsters is totally, completely wrong–Obama needs to keep doing the amazing job he’s doing on this campaign while unleashing the attack dogs on that effete, effeminate, adulterous, lame, cancerous, weak, stupid, lobbyist-loving, traitorous, Martin Luther King-hating racist scumbag, The McCainchurian Candidate.

Not that I have an opinion, of course.

 
 

These guys are doing a good job taking the low road. Lets link to them often. http://www.vietnamveteransagainstjohnmccain.com/

 
 

The worst smear that Mcain can throw at Obama; “He’s a nigger!”

The worst smear Obama can throw at Mcain; “He’s George Bush!”

Political shit-throwing is about throwing the shit without getting any on yourself. Mcain is going to get a LOT of shit on himself if he goes to the furthest extreme possible. Obama on the other hand, can use his worst smear without any fear at all. Mcain has to just hint quietly, but Obama can be as loud as he wants, and people will only agree with him.

The 28%ers are a lost cause. Nobody who currently has a positive view of Bush is ever going to vote Obama. Mcain-Bush comparisons can only help Obama.

The race card is about the only card Mcain has got.. and he doesn’t have the subtlety or skill to play it. I honestly expect at some point, Mcain will overstep the line into the kind of overt racism that the vast majority of Americans are uncomfortable with. There is a certain “scandal threshold” where the press response to a racially charged remark gets very very loud, and very very negative.

If we get something at least as bad as “Maccaca” then the press will be repeating the sound bite every day till the election, and it will be a massacre. We know Mcain has a bit of a temper.. imagine what happens if he lets the N word slip out during a shouting match in the debates?

 
 

CLIVE: I’ll tell you …..
DEREK: (enormous belch) Testing, testing, …..
CLIVE: No, no, don’t test any longer.
DEREK: No.
CLIVE: Er, I’ll tell you the worst job I ever had.
DEREK: What was that?
CLIVE: The worst job I ever had was with John McCain. You know, he was a straight talker, you know …..
DEREK: Yeah, yeah.
CLIVE: ….. war hero, straight talker, and everything like that, but I had the terrible job of retrieving lobsters from his bum.
DEREK: Really? Bloody hell, that must have been a task.
CLIVE: Well, it was quite a task ’cause he had a big bum …..
DEREK: Well, I remember.
CLIVE: ….. and they were big lobsters.
DEREK: I remember he had a huge bum.
CLIVE: Well, he had one and, er, you know, presumably in the afterlife …..
DEREK: (belches) Oh dear.
CLIVE: Shut up ….. he still has one. But I had to, used to go round, you know, of an evening …..
DEREK: Yeah.
CLIVE: ….. when McCain was sleeping or sort of comatose, like, …..
DEREK: Yeah, yeah.
CLIVE: ….. you know, you know.
DEREK: Yeah.
CLIVE: You know, just lying there.
DEREK: Comatose.
CLIVE: And the ne-
DEREK: (coughs)
CLIVE: And, er, I had to retrieve these lobsters from his arsehole.
DEREK: Yeah, well, I remember he had a lot of trouble with-, with lobsters up his arsehole.
CLIVE: Well, you see, the lobsters …..
DEREK: Basically, he suffered from, er, what was known in-, in the medical trade as ‘lobsters-up-the-arsehole’.
CLIVE: Well, this is what it said scientifically, you know, …..
DEREK: Yeah.
CLIVE: ….. ‘lobsters-up-the-bum’, you know …..
DEREK: Mmm.
CLIVE: ….. this was the scientific, er, term for it but, you know, in general terms it was known as ‘Lobsterisimus -um- Bummakisimus’.

 
a different brad
 

Speaking as an unwanted proxy for Bob Barr, I’d like to note that what Derek and Clive are discussing are actually crabs. The confusion is understandable considering the dark working conditions and desire not to stare directly into the bunghole. But definitely crabs.
Which McCain caught from Obama.
Who caught them from Castro.
Who caught them from JFK.
Who caught them from a high priced prostitute in Berlin.
Who caught them from a former Nazi Youth.
Who caught them from Hitler.

Liberal fascism at its worst, and now we have proof it has infected McCain, too.

 
 

I’d like to see some enterprising group … maybe a veterans’ group … buy a bus, put some sign on it that mocks “straight talk express” and follow McCain around heckling him everywhere he goes.

IIRC, the drag queens in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert drove around in an RV with a giant flip-flop shoe mounted on the top. Didn’t they? Well, even if they didn’t, it would be the perfect “Straight Talk Express” Stalkmobile. The Flip-Flop Express or the like. It could follow the campaign bus around and dispense a different McCain flip-flop to the attendent media each day.

Remember the kiss float? (that thing still cracks my shit up! And look what the same folks have for Joe this year.) Something like that to stalk McCain would also be great.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

I’d like to note that what Derek and Clive are discussing are actually crabs.

I don’t know how you can be sure, I suspect there’s a wide range of species that can be found up McCain’s ass. Michael Scherer, for example.

 
 

LOL D-K W, I’ve been reading a bit of the Swamp meself. (Not sure I’m comfortable giving them clicks, but I can see the MS syndrome to which you refer.)

P.S. Billmon.

 
 

Off topic, but how soon do you think Malkin will try to turn this horrible story – my godz, I’m reeling here from the random insanity of it – into a story about terrorism (which it isn’t).

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

That would be cool, huh, Brad?

Fucking Best Debate EVAR!!!one11!

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

ittdgy,
Shockingly, it looks like JiSM3’s finally lost Joke Line for reals. And sell-out Wonkette still pulls some interesting shit out every now and then. And you can tell that Tumulty actually cares about her profession, even if her blinders are well-fixed. But Michael Scherer? I don’t know what the hell’s wrong with him. He’s obviously not stupid, and just as obviously willfully ignorant.

 
 

Good evening ladies, gentlemen and otherwise-gendered humans. Thank you for coming. We have a brief statement.

mikey has no intention of commenting on the various flora and fauna that may or may not be found in John McCain’s nether regions. While we are convinced that there are all manner of creatures, beings and livestock in the McCain butthole, we have no interest in a detailed list, nor would we like to actually perform the inspection. John McCain’s ass is completely beyond our interest, and we are specifically unwilling to participate in any activity in conjunction with John McCain’s rectum. We categorically rule out any possibility of an anal probe of John McCain.

A reminder. Tomorrow we will be delivering our position paper on insecticide.

And in response to a written question from Tuesday’s presser, yes, we are in favor of peanut flavor. Peanuts, peanut butter, Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, all of it. We feel that peanuts have no negatives.

We will not be taking questions.

Thank you all for coming…

mikey’s Official Spokesperson

 
 

But mikey, how about a reaction to a concept?

Peanut butter. Lobster.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

We categorically rule out any possibility of an anal probe of John McCain.

I believe that would constitute a complete physical.

 
 

yes, we could go after McCain. For example the fact that he collaborated with the enemy when taken prisoner-of-war, making dozens of propaganda tapes and got special treatment not only for doing that, but also because his father was an Admiral. Go for it. It’s even true.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

steve, noble enough to win the world but weak enough to lose it,

Snorghagen already uncovered that kind of sntory but it had no traction. Even with lesbian muslim superspies, the story quickly got side-tracked by Zargorph. And that’s here at Sadly, No! where the average attention span is…oooh look shiny!

 
 

I’ve actually long believed that you could make one helluva Satay out of Lobster. With a Peanut Satay sauce? Yum.

I’ve just never ponied up the scratch to check it out…

mikey

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

I’ve actually long believed that you could make one helluva Satay out of Lobster

Oooohhh. That is shiny. Citrus-based marinade is no prob, after all consider Lobster and lemon as a combination. And lobster grills like a dream. Mmmmmm. After starting in on this thread, I thought I’d never eat lobster again – thanks for fixing that problem mikey.

 
 

I believe the Red Sox are covering all of Manny’s remaining salary for the year, HH

Damn, the devil’s in the details, I guess. Could be a good rental for the Dodgers, though I hope his attitude lays waste to their clubhouse and they lose every game the rest of the season after he joins ’em.

And that “no pressure” thing is horseshit – he’s a major league baseball player, not some 6 year old tee-ball player. If he couldn’t handle pressure, he’d have been weeded out long ago.

You really don’t think there’s a difference between playing in Pittsburgh, where they average 22,000 fans a home game, where the Pirates know even before spring training starts they’re not to the playoffs and playing in Boston, one of the most scrutinized teams in all of sports, with a demanding fanbase to go with it? Wow.

10-2 Angels, hahahaha.

 
 

Peanut butter.Crisco. Lobster.

 
 

No, I don’t. Not for one tiny little iota of a second. They are major leaguers. They’ve already been through the pressure vetting process. There isn’t one shred of evidence that suggests that playing for certain teams is more difficult than playing for other teams.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Wow, Ben’s lost his own narrative:

He’s part Neville Chamberlain, part Rolling Stones.

Wha-huh? Because Neville Chamberlain was such a rockstar? Because he was such a hit with the ladies? Oh the whole appeaser thing. Well fuck Ben, if’n you were gonna bring that up, couldn’t you have at least telegraphed it with some fake slogan like:
Think the Islamofascists should have Czechoslovakia? Vote Obama!

 
 

Any of you fools live in San Diego?

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Whups, wrong thread. That’s like the elventy-billionth time. Now how does this Ctrl-C Ctrl-V thing work?

 
 

From now on you shall be known as “BradCop”.

A shot of Chinaco in your honour……

 
 

There isn’t one shred of evidence that suggests that playing for certain teams is more difficult than playing for other teams.

Uhhhhh.

 
 

Snorghagen already uncovered that kind of sntory but it had no traction.

I’d forgotten about that gem.

Wheeler’s story never developed any traction because [a] the story is obviously false and [b] Wheeler is obviously crazy. If you want to go for the Republicans’ jugular (and I certainly think we should), there’s no need to make things up. Getting vicious is a lot more effective if what you’re getting vicious about is actually true, and there’s no shortage of real-life crap on the Repubs and on McCain to rip into.

To me this sort of thing goes beyond mere election strategy. It’s simple common sense: contemptible assholes should be treated like contemptible assholes, always – otherwise you look weak and they look reputable. The Democrats should routinely shit on the Republicans as a matter of simple self-respect.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Wheeler’s story never developed any traction because [a] the story is obviously false and [b] Wheeler is obviously crazy.

You know, I totally agree with you about how true stuff is worser and all, but holy crap. Lesbian muslim superspies? Teenaged hookers used to keep McCain in line? The Hanoi Hilton was really a brothel? Man that’s the basis for half a dozen made-for-tv movies, maybe even HBO or Skin-a-max.

I actually don’t think McCain’s POW thing is going to be that great a help for him in the general so cutting him about his past is pretty weak. I think a better line would be how his tax cut plan benefits the wealthy way more than anyone else, and that he just happens to be wealthy. In fact, with the economy doing basically what was expected after years of W, I think he’d be most damaged by hammering home the point that he’s rolling in dough.

 
 

In fact, with the economy doing basically what was expected after years of W, I think he’d be most damaged by hammering home the point that he’s rolling in dough.

But McSame is a simple man of the people!

Not like that elitist, arugula slurping, blakity-blak mooselimb terrorist, O’bambi. Did I forget probably gay, not to mention not black enough?

/Michael Scherer.

And yes, I don’t know where that d00d is coming from, unless he’s trying for some Leeroy Jenkinssssssssssssssss! type parody.

 
 

P.S. Billmon.

Billmon!?!

Get the fuck outta here!

How long’s he been back? (As it were.)

This makes me happy.

 
 

Derek & Clive: Maybe McCain should pick Jayne Mansfield as running mate.

 
 

I have not seen any evidence to indicate John McCain does not have an unseemly and un-American lobster fetish.

At this point, it is unknown.

 
 

Remember Rove in 2006, saying he had “THE math” because he just KNEW if they acted enough like winners, they’d pull yet another horseshoe out of their ass? Victory via bullshit. That’s exactly what you’re proposing the Dems do now – when they’re ahead, with no realistic chance of that situation changing from now until November. Ask ol’ Karl how swell that worked out for him – & ask Obama how deeply he regrets not taking Rove’s “free advice” to play dirty against Clinton in the primary.

Again: look at the special elections. The GOP has been playing the same old smear-game, because frankly, it’s all they know how to do anymore … & it’s whelping that sick old bitch of a party a big fat litter of failhounds, over & over & over again – & remember, they’re old pros at it, too. Think about the future implications of deciding to start aping people like Karl Rove. Are you sure that’s who you want to imitate in 2008?

Possibly the best con-job he ever pulled was to convince America that the nimble use of smear-tactics in politics was what won Shrub his throne, & not rigging the vote. Unless you can likewise put a thumb on the electoral scales, I’d recommend staying off that low-road – or you may be waiting a very very long time indeed for the pig to come out of that tunnel.
It’s a cliche for a very good reason: when your enemy is making mistakes, the last thing you should do is interrupt them. What exactly would playing the GOP’s game with a sudden shift to the low-road be? Yup – defeatus interruptus.

I think you underestimate both the level of utter nausea regular folks (who don’t really give a tinker’s damn who’s ahead right now or why) now feel when they see yet more dirty politics, & the extent to which the GOP has had to steal elections they didn’t really win – & not just since 2000, either. You brought up McGovern in the previous thread on this topic … so, what about CREEP’s large grab-bag of dirty-tricks? The reason they worked so well in 1972 was because all those black-bag ops to retrieve the enemy’s “Poison” files (like the Watergate job) got them a bonanza of REAL dirt for them to dish on the Democratic Party, dirt they knew the Dems couldn’t deny without looking stupid – & the scandal was that they got caught doing it.

Vicki Iseman! Vicki Iseman! Vicki Iseman!
Old and tired! Old and tired! Old and tired!
4 more years of Bush! 4 more years of Bush!
100 years in Iraq! 100 years in Iraq!
Private jets! Private jets! Private jets!
Keating 5! Keating 5! Keating 5!

What do these all have in common?
They’re all totally true.
Oh … & there’s PLENTY more where they came from, too.

You don’t need to use the “make nasty shit up” approach to torpedo the GOP this fall – just remind people what a craven kneepad-jockey McCain The Third truly is. For Christ’s sweet sake, the fool’s running against his OWN Senate bill on immigration – & that’s just for starters.

Two advantages over the “creative” tactic: they can’t deny it without looking even dumber than usual … & you don’t come across as Rove-clones while doing it. It just so happens that from what I’m seeing in terms of the 2 campaigns, the truth actually will set you free, at least this time.

The phony-smear rat-fucking approach will be loads of fun … & it’ll be a knife in Obama’s back, right when he’s got the race in the bag. Do you want to have fun, or do you want the other team to lose? Making them go down in flames isn’t much fun at all – until election night. Bullshit rumor-milling is a righteous par-TAY, all the way, until that night … & for 4 years after that, minimum.

Choose wisely.

 
 

Ginger Yellow, I think the lobsters would get quite a nip out of that …..

 
 

Jim is making sense.

Except…pigs in tunnels, whuh???

Happy, accurate ridicule from the peanut gallery while Official Obama remains his dignitude seems the way to go.

Also, The Carpetbagger has a list.

 
 

Aw, fuck it.

When is John McCain going to repudiate and disavow Fatty Arbuckle?

We’re waiting.

 
 

It’s early. Relax. Deep Breath.

The current trajectory is that events outside any campaign’s control will crater John McCain. If that is not happening for some reason in a few months, they don’t need you for ratfucking. Now this isn’t to say that I don’t indulge in it for sport, or disapprove! You just really don’t even want to do this with surrogates with more than a few degrees of seperation from the campaign to John McCain because you’ll make a big press pity party for the old fart. It will be done, however, if it’s got go there. I’ll guarantee it.

I’m going to reassure myself a bit on my firm belief that blog comments are the most masturbatory things in the universe and don’t amount to anything. That said, Illinois politics isn’t softball. Obama played the Daley machine like a fiddle and that’s saying something. He got what he wanted and they really didn’t get what they wanted. That’s the sort of thing that can wind you up in the trunk of a car here. I don’t know how the fuck he did that but it wasn’t because he filled the Chicago machine’s ear up with Hope and Change Bullshit. He’ll get McCain.

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

I, well, disagree.

Yeah, it’d be nice if this country’s media were sane to do this. Get our sublimated rage right out there once and for all, a national catharsis for everyone left of center.

Guess what? If Obama suggests McCain’s old and mental, we’ll get our clocks cleaned in the national media. We’re beating up a nice old man, liberal oppression, blah blah blah.

We have to ply the high road. That’s that.

Oh, and fuck Hillary. I’m in no fucking mood for ‘coulda-beens’ about that right-of-center shit, especially less than a month after she drove every last one of us insane with anger as she leaned so far right her brain fell out.

 
 

‘the low road.’ known to Republicans as ‘the road.’

 
 

The picture- what a smarmy looking MF. If he gets in, like they say, God bless us all. And that’s from a FSM believer.

 
 

Because I am a pedant: You know what the “low road” originally referred to? Like in that stupid “You take the high road, and I’ll take the low road” ballad? It was the Underworld, the path of the dead. Ghost Road. Not accessible to those of us whose hearts still beat.

Of course Old John McSame and his ReThug cronies are taking the Low Road. They’ve been dead so long, even their bloodless corpses are starting to stink.

 
 

Seriously check out this website. They appear to be rightwingers. http://vietnamveteransagainstmccain.com/
Peruse their site. I cant vouch for any of the accuracy but they claim that the Vietnam government has 30 hours of video on J. Sidney. Since he was the son of the Admiral, I would be surprised if this was not true. Certainly they would have wanted blackmail material for present and future use on such a celebrity prisoner. What is on the tapes? Shouldn’t someone ask him about this? If Vietnam has tapes, Russia probably has copies.

Leaving aside ratfucking and I for one would like to see a Dem ratfuck for once. Isn’t the possibility that a foreign power may have blackmail material on a potential president sorta kinda important in its own right?

 
 

And another thing, being a bad pilot and deciding not to make propaganda videos for the Viet Cong to get early release and a certain court martial does not necessarily make you a war hero. Nor does it give you unimpeachable foreign policy credentials.

 
zoe from pittsburgh
 

McCain isn’t Grandpa Simpson yelling at clouds– that implies he’s a sympathetic character.

John McCain is none other than Charles Montomery Burns.

Now we just need a video of him tenting his fingers and saying “excelleeennnttt.”

 
zoe from pittsburgh
 

McCain has an achillies heel– his legendary nasty temper.

He really doesn’t seem to be holding up too well, there are several interiews where he openly bristles at anyone asking him touch questions. I don’t think it would take too much open mockery for him to lose his shit. Obama needs to keep playing it cool and find ways to get in a few well-placed jabs and let his surrogates do the dirty work.

What I do find remarkable is that McCain is getting in the mud so early AND doing it himself. Before we all get too jumpy we need to see if this tack backfires– it might really undermine much of his appeal and credibility.

 
 

Sorry for being a buzzkill. Snark back on.

 
 

Zoe is right, Obama should use mockery and humor. Keep needling him about things. He seems especially touchy about age. Find his buttons and keep pushing. Eventually he’ll blowup.

 
zoe from pittsburgh
 

Also, while I am personally frustrated and worried about how things are going at the moment perhaps Obama is onto something– from a CNN/OPC poll today:

37% think Obama is arrogant (34% think McCain is arrogant.); 63% do not think Obama is arrogant. 44% think he’s acting as if he’s already won the election; 56% don’t. 72% think Obama cares about military veterans. 65% think Obama’s overseas trip was “appropriate.”

So far McCain’s approach doesn’t appear to be working too well– granted he’s trying to make that change and still could. But this is a pretty good baseline to start with. Let McCain go all ugly and dirty, accuse Obama of looking too presidential, it could very well backfire and make McBush look pathetic and desperate. Actuallly, those are the exact words that Obama’s surrogates should be using right now to describe McCain’s current strategy– PATHETIC AND DESPERATE. They should do it with a sad smile when they say it. Their goal should be to make McCain appear sad and pitiful, which will certainly piss him off.

I’d love to see Obama’s sense of humor used as a defense– it’s something that Kerry and Gore truly lacked when fending off GOP nasties. Think of Obama’s Hillary-as-Annie-Oakley riff. More of that, please.

 
zoe from pittsburgh
 

A lot of us seem to be in a panic over national coverage and MSM cable news treatment of Obama. But where do most people in America who care about politics get their news? Their local paper. It appears that is a good thing for Obama.

Obama’s Field Domination Plays Out In Local Press

Elections may play themselves out on the national stage but they are won on the ground– one of these candidates has a strong field operation and one doesn’t.

Some of us should worry less and get some sleep. (grin)

 
 

I’ve been saying it for years; You can give ’em enough rope but it doesn’t matter a bit unless you tie that sucker off and let that rope hang ’em high.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

You know how McCain’s plan was to have his surrogates slime all his opponents while he denounced such attacks so he could appear above the fray all honorable and mavericky? Well, he’s kinda lost that position now. He’s lost Joe “mixed bag” Klein. He’s lost Howard Kurtz as much as any non Democrat can. He’s fucking lost Andrea Mitchell.

And Obama? He’s picked his own line of attack on McCain. Laughing at JiSM3’s small-minded pettiness. It’s like political judo – use your opponents attacks against him. You don’t think “Politics of Change” is a winner and “Taking the Low Road” is a good attack? Take a look at it before you decide.

 
 

YOUR NOT DOING IT RIGHT. THE LOBSTER FETISH WON’T WORK BECAUSE THERE ISN’T AN ELEMENT OF TRUTH IN IT. THAT’S WHY THE REPUB. ATTACKS WORK…

AND MCCAIN JUST GAVE US ONE BY WEARING $500 FARRAGAMO SHOES.

IT SHOULDN’T BE TO HARD TO COME UP WITH HUNDREDS OF JOKES, CUTS, INSULTS, ETC., BASED ON LIL’ LORD BBQ WEARING $500 LOAFERS.

(Sorry to yell, but this is the issue.)

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

IT SHOULDN’T BE TO HARD TO COME UP WITH HUNDREDS OF JOKES, CUTS, INSULTS, ETC., BASED ON LIL’ LORD BBQ WEARING $500 LOAFERS.

So what, p-shoppin McCain’s head onto Imelda Marcos or Sarah Jessica Parker? Or bringing Condi and her Katrina shoe shopping expedition in – something like “The real reason Condoleeza Rice was shopping for thousand dollar designer shoes while New Orleans was drowning, was to find the perfect gift for John Melanoma-Free McCain”.

I think the biggest stick is the fact that the McCain’s are fucking rich as a motherfuck. Maybe not quite Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild rich, but fucking wealthy none the less.

 
 

Look, I went too far in saying Obama is doooooooooomed.

No you didn’t. There’s a damn good case to be made for the idea that Obama is doooooooooomed, even if his brain-washed worshippers don’t want to hear it.

What I’m wondering at this point is whether they’ll even admit they were wrong if Obama doesn’t win in November. After seeing so many of them eagerly adopt right-wing framing and tactics, I’d be willing to bet they’ll immediately switch from “Obama will win!” to “It’s all Hillary’s fault that Obama didn’t win!” without missing a step.

 
 

How to get McCain’s incendiary temper to explode? Ask the following question in public somehow.

“Mr. McCain, when will America be allowed to see the 36 propaganda videos you made for the VC?”

That should do it.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

How to get McCain’s incendiary temper to explode? Ask the following question in public somehow.

How about: “Good debate, now shake hands.”

 
 

Personally speaking, I’d like to start rumors about how McCain has an unseemly and un-American lobster fetish. Maybe we could even launch a 527 called Swift Crustaceans for the Truth to expose how McCain has for years been molesting innocent sea creatures at his elitist island home on the Cayman Islands.

 
 

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