Love, Ex-cit-ing And New…

Shorter Michael Gaynor:

20ish Marie Jon’: NOT Hypnotized By Obama

Above: Not a recent picture

  • That young Marie Jon’ sure is purty. [spit-combs hair, slicks down eyebrows] Smart as a whip, too. D’you think she’d go out with me?

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


Comments: 39


Wait, his bio says he was born in 1949. His mugshot, not so much.

Doctor Missus Marita

I think it would probably take more than just spit to get one’s hair to do that.


Sure it can.

If you’re a Chinese cave swift capable of making edible nests out of your saliva, that is.


Hey, that shorter belongs to HTML Mencken. I call plagiarized lust.

Apropos of Internet traditions, passed along by techcultural-saavy acquaintance: “Declaring a moratorium on ‘i can has’, Adopting 50’s beat slang instead. Razz my berries, Daddy-O.”


I’d let Marie Jon’ razz my berries anytime.


Sorry, fan-boy, if Marie’ won’t part those leggy gams for Brad, what makes you think you’ll be tasting that sweet, sweet nectar?

Try sucking up to someone more in your league. I hear Kaye (!) (*$$2) Krogan’s taint needs a thorough tongue-swabbing.

Smiling Mortician

Michael’s real reason for hating on Barack revealed: “Marie pegged Obama . . .” He can’t get the image out of his mind.


From the reliably insipid Ms. Jon’:

However, he does not have the stature of a wise and knowing candidate. With a mere three years in the Senate, it is almost laughable that Obama is actually being seriously considered for the most important job in the world.

It not only would be acceptable but laudable if he instead had 5 years’ experience as a mostly decorative state government figurehead, along with a history of failed business ventures, failure to fulfill military duties, and a lackluster academic career.

The elitist Obama is damned by his excellence. We Amurkins don’t need no fancy-pants Mr. Smart Man running things. We demand a mediocrity! It’s our right!


Wait, his bio says he was born in 1949.

Damn. If I’m that hard-up when I’m pushing sixty, I hope I can at least have some dignity about it.

We demand a mediocrity!

Did you hear he’s too popular, too?


Charming li’l Marie Jon refers to the “Democrat Convention” in the link, so you know she’s drunk the KoolAid & been well trained in the winger semantics.

I foresee a brilliant wingnut welfare future like those of Dinesh D’Souza or Confederate Wanker for her, whether or not she gives grandpa the hoped-for roll in the hay.


Jennifer, get real. Don’t you know yet that only old doddery fools with Alzheimers have knowledge and wisdom?


Obama will never get elected.

He’s too popular.


He’s too popular.

If I gave the wingnuts any credit for foresight, I’d think their bleating about his Germany visit (popular = Hitler) was their way of setting up the argument that the Presidency should go to the candidate with fewer votes. That would actually be kind of clever.


McCain is dragging out the new “BUT I AM THE REAL AGENT OF CHANGE 2.3” talking point, linked to the referbished Hillary TP “OBAMA IS TOO POPULAR TO BE PRESIDENT” I can wait til September when they finally launch the one they have left “But cant you see!?!?! He’s black?!?!?”


This Gaynor fucker better not mess with my bitch.


“But cant you see!?!?! He’s black?!?!?”

“Have you gone berserk??? Can’t you see that sheriff is a n….!”


“The sheriff is near!”

Bitter Scribe, who has appeared on FOX cable to promote the eBay boycott that he initiated,

I like how Marie Jon’ (what is with that apostrophe, anyway? It’s so com se comsa) says Obama has “no credibility with the military families.” Notice how there’s no sign she actually, you know, spoke with any of them.

Personally, I wonder what military families think of Obama’s support for an expansion of educational benefits to Iraq/Afghanistan vets. And what they think of McCain opposing that expansion.

And especially, what they think of McCain’s reason: That denying them better benefits would force them to stay in the military longer!


What’s the comma behind the Jon? Why it’s Marie!


“Obama’s tall, tan, smooth, sleek, slim”

Tan? Best no one tell Gaynor that he’s black.


Tan? Best no one tell Gaynor that [Obama]’s black.

Hush. Gaynor’s saving that shock-horror expose for an October Surprise!


That’s it. I’m installing an alarm on my Tile Grout!!



Dr Zen said,

July 31, 2008 at 3:07

“Obama’s tall, tan, smooth, sleek, slim”

Tan? Best no one tell Gaynor that he’s black.

Why, he’s the girl from Ipanema!


Wait, his bio says he was born in 1949.

It also says “he is now a solo practitioner.” That young Marie Jon’ sure is purty, indeed.


It looks to me like Mr. Gaynor (if that is his real name) mostly breathes through his mouth.


I take it everyone read Douche Baggins’ post and then just went ahead on their business, pretending against hope that he hadn’t actually written that.


We do what we must to preserve what ragged threads of our sanity remain.
Well, I do.


“20ish Marie Jon’: NOT Hypnotized By Obama” … yeah, but just you wave a brightly coloured object back & forth in front of her face for a minute or so & see if she won’t follow you anywhere you go with it!

Now, if we were to paint Obama electric blue or cherry-red …

Okay, what’s up with all this “HypnObama” crap, anyhow? Seeing him on the Interwebs, he just looks to me like a mighty good orator, which I understand is rather helpful when regularly speaking to thousands at a time, & I’m sure’s hell not seeing the “Hypno” effect – on the contrary, sometimes it gets a mite dull, truth be told. Man’s got a hellishly narrow range of available speech he can emit, if he doesn’t want to blow his lead, & that tightrope just does NOT lend itself to mesmerizing barn-burners in the soapbox department. It’s a testimonial to his intellect & his oratorical talent that he DOES fire people up as well as he does.

His platform is pathologically middle-of-the-road, not because he’s lackluster, but because he has no freaking CHOICE as to what to run on: the public whose votes he’s chasing more or less proscibes what he can or cannot propose … so where does the Wingnut Brigade get off with this whole “Obamessiah” schtick? Especially in times as scary as these, aimed at a superstitious audience. Talk about a meme ripe for backfiring.


… a mere three years in the Senate ….

That’s more time in the Senate than our last SEVEN Preznits combined.



Okay, what’s up with all this “HypnObama” crap, anyhow?

Well, that’s the beauty of the whole thing. You watch him, it just seems like he’s giving a good speech about the economy and hope and stuff. Next thing you know, you’re marching down to the local atheist recruiting station to sign up for Muslim lessons! It’s a sublininmble kind of thing.


… so where does the Wingnut Brigade get off with this whole “Obamessiah” schtick?

Because the man’s so milquetoast (chocolate milk milquetoast, granted) that’s all the poor bastards have to work with.

I almost feel sorry for them. Almost.

Aw, who am I kidding? I’m laughing my ass off this campaign season.


Where oh where is the valiant rogue HTML Mencken while this bespectacled, greasy-haired hump is trying to make time with his beloved Marie Jon’}>/”?
Is this the end of the affair for our star-crossed lovers, the rakish and dashing HTML and his lovely and witless lady of random punctuation?

Stay tuned, true believers!


so where does the Wingnut Brigade get off with this whole “Obamessiah” schtick? Especially in times as scary as these, aimed at a superstitious audience. Talk about a meme ripe for backfiring.

Hard to say.

Maybe it’s like this? During the Bush presidentcy, they decided to go for all-out hero worship, and they started to feel very worshipful toward Bush. Bush is charismatic in his own way, and is a decent actor and a good liar. So they let themselves feel that way toward Bush.

Then, Obama came onto the scene, and they have primed themselves to feel hero worship, and Obama is quite charismatic too, so they are now starting to feel this way toward Obama. They find themselves being a bit dazzled by this other guy who’s charismatic. Yet, they know that they have to hate him and distrust him and defeat him. And make others feel the same way. So they attack him, but at the same time, his charisma is working on them.

I guess what I’m saying is, could this weird meme possibly indicate a kind of ambivalence within the minds of the conservative movementarians?

humbert dinglepencker

Marie J’o’N’*!’ Smart as a whip? I know fireplace logs smarter than she is. Hell, my DOG is smarter than she is, and he’s a dumb as a bag o’hammers.


Paul Wolfowitz spit-combed his hair in “Fahrenheit 9/11.” Did he date Marie, too? Maybe she only goes out with spit-combers. (Makes disgusted face.)


I used to think I read only the “shorter” and not the article at the link because I was a thin-skinned liberal who couldn’t handle right-wingers’ views. Turns out they write for shite, stringing one lame talking point to the next, and I died of boredom before I could finish. All praise shorter!!


Marie Jon….goat blower?

Ann Althouse Projectile-Vomiting That Last Glass of Rosé

Between this and K-Lo’s breakfast at Tiffany’s, I’ve had quite enough of neocon mating–imagined or hoped-for–for one day, thanks.


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