The Incredible Hulkin
Malkin’s latest, translated from the edited version:
Presidential Idol
The Brangelina-fication of the Obamas.You couldn’t pass a grocery store line this weekend without seeing the picture-perfect smiles of the Obama family. There were Barack Obama’s young daughters (whose privacy their parents so sanctimoniously claim to want to protect) flashing their pearly whites on the cover of People. Malia and Sasha competed for attention right next to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s toddler daughter, Shiloh, whose cherubic face was splashed on the cover of another celebrity tabloid. Next to them beamed basket-case starlet Lindsay Lohan and her new lesbian lover — oh, and that formerly pregnant “man” who just gave birth to a baby girl.
The Obamas blended seamlessly into this Hollyweird pop-culture galaxy.
Blast! Losing … control. Got to keep … rage … from taking over …
The spread in People, which earlier this year fawned over a photo of the bare-chested Obama in his swimsuit, was supposed to be an ‘exclusive’ first and last look at life at home with the Obamas. Knowing what we know about the Obama we know now, it probably won’t be the last.
Arghhh! Anger … building! Feel change coming! Warned them … they wouldn’t like me … when I’m angry! Gaahhhh! No! It’s … too … late … unhhh! Got … to … aarrrrggggGHHHHHNNNNRRRAAAAWWWRRRRR!!!!!
They’ve hawked the kids to TV gossip show Access Hollywood, blabbed about their romance to Us Weekly, and plopped Michelle O — the purported “civilian” whom the Obamessiah declares immune from public criticism — in front of the cameras to schmooze effortlessly for The Colbert Report and The View demographics. They believe their two-faced tabloid strategy (show their true elitist colors behind closed doors, but play the Every Family for the Obamedia sycophants) is working.
RAWRRR! BWAHAHA! MALKIN TRY TO KEEP HULKIN DOWN! TRY TO HIDE HULKIN FROM EDITORS OF MALKIN! BUT HULKIN IS MOST OUTRAGED ONE THERE IS! AND NOW HULKIN WILL SHOW EDITORS OF MALKIN HOW HULKIN WILL SMASH EDITORS OF MALKIN!!!!
Given our dumbed-down, celebrity-obsessed culture, they are probably right.
HULKIN WILL SMASH CELEBRITY-OBSESSED CULTURE!!!
Who cares about Barack’s perilous lack of foreign-policy experience, his longtime associations with left-wing radicals and domestic terrorists, and his business dealings with Chicago corruptocrats? People brings you the scoop on what really matters in this critical presidential campaign: Michelle hula-hoops with her daughters. They’re just like you and me! The kids have slumber parties. They’re just like you and me! Barack does laundry, but he doesn’t fold it. They’re just like you and me! The kids get small allowances. They’re just like you and me! The Obamas wear normal clothes while doing normal things.
PUNY OBAMAS! TRY TO HURT HULKIN! TRY TO MAKE HULKIN THINK HULKIN’S INCREASINGLY OUT-OF-STEP POLITICAL VIEWS NOT POLITICAL VIEWS OF AMERICA!
THEY’RE JUST LIKE YOU AND ME!
HULKIN SMASH YOU AND ME!
There’s a popular feature in most gossip magazines that rates celebrities as “normal” vs. “not normal” or “diva” vs. “down to earth.” This is supposed to humanize the stars and make celebrity followers feel better about their empty idol worship. Paparazzi catch “normal” famous people in candid moments — taking out the trash, scarfing down hot dogs, goofing around with their kids at the playground — and magazine editors compare them to photos of “not normal” celebs in elitist repose — walking with their umbrella carriers, surrounded by seven bodyguards and three nannies, boarding their Gulfstreams, etc.
PUNY MAGAZINE EDITORS TRY TO CONFUSE HULKIN! TRY TO PLAY TRICKS ON HULKIN!
The fatal flaw in the tabloids’ Obamas-as-next-door-neighbors propaganda, of course, is that unlike the candid shots of normal, down-to-earth celebrities without makeup or entourages, the photos of the Obamas in “normal” mode are all carefully choreographed fauxtographs.
THINK HULKIN TOO STUPID TO SEE TRICKS OF PUNY MAGAZINE EDITORS!
While Snobama complains about “bitter” rural voters who “cling” to their guns and religion and moans about the price of arugula in his candid unscripted moments, JustLikeYou&Me Michelle cunningly brags about buying her sundresses at discount retailer H&M and, with studied casualness, tells reporters that she doesn’t mind if the kids’ beds aren’t perfectly made. Uh-huh.
BUT HULKIN NOT STUPID! CAN SEE TRICKS OF PUNY MAGAZINE EDITORS!
The Obamas do everything but pick their noses for the cameras to mimic Real People bona fides. The Obamedia stenographers in the celebrity press — and the mainstream press, for that matter — eat it up. And so do the American people. Former Star magazine editor Bonnie Fuller, citing a poll showing that more adults would like to invite Obama to a summer barbecue than McCain, hailed the Obamas in Advertising Age as the “Brangelina of the political world.”
AND NOW HULKIN WILL SMASH PUNY MAGAZINE EDITORS!
Obama and his political paparazzi are banking on people’s stupidity and his cult of personality to carry him to the White House. Unfortunately, the odds are in his favor.
GRRRRRRAWW! HULKIN SMASH POLITICAL ZEITGEIST WHEN POLITICAL ZEITGEIST NOT FAVORABLE TO PREFERRED PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE OF HULKIN!
Just try talking to one of the millions of people with their noses buried in People or Us about Obama’s relationship with Jeremiah Wright or Bill Ayers, his flip-flops on the Iraq war surge and his reckless naivete regarding Iran, and you’ll see what I mean.
ARGGGGHHHH!!! THE MORE MAGINALIZED POLITICAL INSANITY OF HULKIN GETS, THE MADDER HULKIN GETS!
The exclamation of a journalist at the UNITY minority news media gathering this weekend sums up the star-struck reverence that fuels the Obama phenomenon: “He touched me!” And yet, he’s sooo “down to earth.”
Hurtling toward a government of the stupid, by the stupid, for the stupid we go.
PUNY MAINSTREAM AMERICAN OPINION! HULKIN … SMASH … PUNY … MAINSTREAM … MAJORITY … OPINION … SUR … VEYS … HMPHH … GAK … EYES … HEAVY … RAGE … SUBSIDINGZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz …
Yaaaaawn. She’s kind of phoning it in, isn’t she – did she find the script for McCain’s newest commercial in a dumpster?
I’m kind of phoning it in too, to tell the truth.
More, better wingnuts, please!
Corruptocrats? Fuaxtogrophy?
Some tell Michelle that she’s not Christian from Project Runway and no one is going to use her hilarious phrases.
Now come on DA we all know that Hulkin’s rage never subsides. It just fuels itself in some sort of wingnut perpetual outrange machine.
I think the point is that she’s always been perpetually outraged, it’s her schtick after all, but increasingly she’s just about the rage itself. She’s not really masking it any more with much sarcasm or argument. She’s just flat-out enraged that the country’s political culture is moving rapidly away from her dearly held positions.
It’s not like she’s going away or anything. But she seems fairly aware that her heyday of bordering on being a mainstream opinion-maker is long gone and she ain’t getting anywhere near it again any time soon.
If only there were some way to tap that energy source, we’d be able to reduce our dependence on foreign oil.
That poll about BBQ had to hurt.
Speaking about rage-oholics dropping out of the mainstream, what’s happened to Coulter? The last time I’ve heard anything from her was when she endorsed Hillary soon after McCain won the GOP race.
Lawyer from Chicago beat phony rancher from Arizona in barbecue poll? Have we lost our collective Like To Have a Beer With Compass?
“Knowing what we know about the Obama we know now…”
That is the most tortured clause I have read in my entire fucking life.
Fuck having a beer with McCain. He’s just the kind of douchebag who’s conveniently taking a piss every time it’s his turn to buy the round.
John McCain, sporting hip Maui Jim shades, slides into the mirrored booth at the rear of his “Straight Talk Express” campaign bus. His preternaturally spry—and wry—95-year-old mother, Roberta, scoots in beside him. “I want to correct you when you start telling all those big lies,” she teases. Daughter Meghan, 23, keeps her dad from sneaking any junk food: “He’s 71 years old. He can have salad.” And wife Cindy, 53 and hobbling on Chanel heels and crutches (for a torn knee ligament resulting from a grocery-shopping mishap), rounds out the senator’s innermost circle.
Together, the three generations are on an exhausting, exhilarating family road trip, trumpeting the Vietnam war hero and U.S. senator from Arizona as he vies for the GOP presidential nomination. Meghan, chronicling their adventures at McCainBlogette.com, likens it to “being on tour with the Partridge Family—but way less vanilla.” Along the campaign trail in New York and South Carolina this fall, the McCains let PEOPLE listen in.
So, what, is she pissed that Obama’s kids are doing better in school than hers, or what?
Also, the problem with McCain barbecues is that there’s always a bunch of East Coast media elitists at them. Heartlanders don’t truck with MSM types who eat barbecue all gay and shit.
The idea that lie-burals are just the same as real people! Ridiculous! Clearly if you are a lie-berul you DON’T do laundary. You DON’T pay bills. They aren’t just like normal people!! They are foriegn and awful and gay and brown and black and pagan and they AREN’T LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE!
That is Malkin’s message every time she writes: liberals are not humans. Hear that message enough and you take a gun into a Unitarian church.
She’s pissed that the tabloid mythmakers have clearly decided that Obama is an okay guy with an okay family. She’s cognizant of the power of that sort of marketing, and it pisses her off to no end that the zeitgeist has moved away from where it was in the immediate post-9/11 years.
She pretends that her anger is directed at the sort of marketing Obama is currently doing, but she has no problem with that stuff when it’s used to further her own political agenda. And really, the editorial strategy of People, etc. isn’t a big giant secret. They basically try to figure out the simplified version of things that their readers want confirmed for themselves, then present the readers with exactly that.
So Obama and family being on the cover of People all nice and Norman Rockwell-like is essentially a form of proof that this is how mainstream Americans want to perceive him. Which is obviously a good thing for Obama’s electoral hopes. And something that absolutely enrages Malkin.
You couldn’t pass a grocery store line this weekend without seeing the picture-perfect smiles of the Obama family.
This makes me happy too. Their smiles make me smile. How refreshing to see!
Oh wait, she’s bitter and angry. I recommend Paxil and a psychiatrist.
The thing that really gets me about Malkin is that she’s not upset that it’s harder and harder to tell the difference between the process to choose a president and the process to choose the Sexiest Man Alive; she’s just pissed that her side is running the Jimmy Kimmel to Obama’s Matt Damon.
Umm, Michelle?
You people gave us George W. Bush in the White House since 2001.
So, uh, we aren’t going to …
We’ve already been there, done that.
And, judging by the number of “Obama for president” signs I saw today in the very conservative military/aerospace industry town where I live, many people are tired of the America you and your people have delivered.
So, keep it up, you and the rest of your rabid Republican kind. The crazier you look, the crazier McCain looks. (And it’s very sad for you that your mental infirmities might cause any harm to a nutcase like McCain.)
If only the wingnut villains could be as intriguing as say Heath Ledger’s Joker…but no. They’re not only dumber than a box of rocks, their laughable rage spews like salami-scented methane out of a fat man.
I’m kind of phoning it in too, to tell the truth.
Well I LOL’ed. I’m going to be yelling HULKIN SMASH YOU AND ME! and random people for a while.
and
Yes, Michelle! Go with your rage! Do it! Take a page from Gramm and tell us what you really think of your fellow Americans! Pleeeeeease don’t hold your contempt back on our account!
I give it a 9.3 for unconscious tantrum-tastic irony.
Man, it keeps amazing me how little they actually have.
He’s not qualified! Nope. Not like those paragons of experience Reagan and Clinton. Not at all. McCain flew fighters. Um, and Carter drove submarines. Kennedy had PT boats. How’s this experience thing supposed to work, anyway?
He was against the surge! Yep. And most people agree with him.
He’s soft on Iran! Um, do you actually LISTEN to the guy? Fucker has done everything but threaten to parachute into Tehran and garrotte the mullahs personally, fer crissakes.
He’s Bill Ayers friend!
He wants to withdraw our troops!
He’s an elitist! Do we want our president to be intelligent and educated?
He likes different lettuce than me!
Rezko!
He’s a ni…!!
Pretty meager gruel…
mikey
If Jimmy Kimmel is John McCain, then this is extravagant praise. I would have written it like this:
Hurtling toward a government of the stupid, by the stupid, for the stupid we go.
Her short- to medium-term memory is crap, innit?
If only there were some way to tap that energy source, we’d be able to reduce our dependence on foreign oil.
It’s all heat, no light, and highly toxic.
I’m simply amazed at the Mind-bending Malkin’s ability to write sentances like that with the Skull-and-Bones, Ivy-league schooled, born-on-third-base President goes ‘brush-clearing’ on his Texas farm, like a regular old ‘cowboy’.
See above…
Again, it’s simply amazing that the 2000 & 2004 elections have utterly & completely vanished from the Malkin consciousness
…. yeah…
Fixed.
You can’t help but notice the McCain campaign has ground to a halt amid the coal and steam from the engine and smoke from the barbecue when it suddenly occurs to you that EVERY McCain for President advertisement OPENS with the words “Barack Obama” and usually doesn’t mention McCain’s name until the “I approved this message” part at the very end.
It’s a campaign entirely predicated on the concept of “Our guy’s really got nothin, but your guy’s WORSE!!”..
mikey
Some tell Michelle that she’s not Christian from Project Runway and no one is going to use her hilarious phrases.
Well, she’s fierce, but she’s not fierce.
This year’s crop of designers just doesn’t seem to have anyone like old Princess PuffySleeves, does it?
it’s simply amazing that the 2000 & 2004 elections have utterly & completely vanished from the Malkin consciousness…
All part of the Highlander 2 Presidency / border between the Clinton and Obama administrations.
Holy cow, has there ever been anyone who mixes insanity with sophistry quite like Michelle Malkin?
It’s obvious she’s far too insane to be disingenuous. Let’s give credit where credit is due–she believes from the very depths of her black, poisonous soul all the venomous piffle she spews out. The hatred is real, not just loopy and contrived histrionics.
I imagine if you performed a Vulcan mind meld on Malkin, your head would explode from the violent shock of her cuckoo-nutty synaptic wackoness upon your nervous system.
When Obama wins this fall, I can only imagine she’s going to go even more batshit insane, and I for one cannot wait to witness her complete meltdown. I only wish we could attach EEG electrodes to her head and monitor her brain activity online. Wouldn’t that be a hoot? (And kind of creepy too…)
EVERY McCain for President advertisement OPENS with the words “Barack Obama” and usually doesn’t mention McCain’s name until the “I approved this message” part at the very end.
I’ve noticed that, and I call it “Pepsi campaigning” – like how Coke ads are always just about how great Coke is, but Pepsi ads are about how much better Pepsi is than Coke. Pepsi gave Coke a century of free advertising that way – no wonder they’re #2.
Even nothing is better than something. [/zenmaster]
OMG! Photo ops during a political campaign! FFS, have the Obama’s no shame. You’re only supposed to stage photo ops when a whole fucking city is drowning.
Having to look at smiling black faces really pisses her off.
According to The Great Follower’s latest ad, Obama is like Paris Hilton. Which immediately raises the question: Where can I find the Obama sex tape?
(For purely sociological purposes, natch.)
What is this “Highlander 2” you’re referring to?
Next you’ll be telling me that there are ‘prequels’ to the Star Wars trilogy…
DA I agree. I would go a little further and say that Malkin is, well, a microcosm of wingnut rage in general. They have been screaming Obama is a communist. Obama is a Muslim. Obama is a scary black man who knows other scary black men. Obama is a vampire who preys on virgin white women. Obama hates America. for over six months now and he’s still ahead in most polls. For chreeest sakes they brought out Obama is a Nazi in the middle of freakin’ July. And since nothing works, it makes them all the more angrier.
If we could bottle it, harness it, it might actually be able to be put to some form of productive use (Like as Blue Buddha suggested).
I like it, D.A. Nailed Malkin’s inner dialogue.
Maybe if Michelle Obama could do something “not like us” like, oh, say dress up in a little cheerleader’s outfit with pompoms and cheer Demo. “Defeatocrats” the Obamas would get some genuine r-e-s-p-e-c-t from Ms. Bitter, Angry Malkin.
Odd that Stalkin’ Malkin would perform such an empty, vapid gesture to gain the interest of our celebrity obsessed culture but she finds the Obama’s appearance in places like “People” to be out of bounds. But oh yeah, that’s only the appropriate venue for important events like not-Jenna’s wedding, the charming “Rappin’ Rove” dancing for the press, etc. . .
When Obama wins this fall, I can only imagine she’s going to go even more batshit insane, and I for one cannot wait to witness her complete meltdown.
I’ve got Malkin picked as the first major pundit to both drop the N-word in a public forum and issue calls to her minions to take him out…
They’re just like you and me! The kids have slumber parties. They’re just like you and me! Barack does laundry, but he doesn’t fold it. They’re just like you and me! The kids get small allowances. They’re just like you and me! The Obamas wear normal clothes while doing normal things.
Yeah, so? WTF is her problem now? They should deprive their kids of allowances and sleepovers and have dreadlocks and wear gauzy shirts and torn jeans in order to show their TRUE COLORS?
What a cunt. Yeah, I said it.
does she realize that she is not “like you and me” either? she is a rich republican (is that redundant?) that lives in a nice house far removed from “normal” people.
“like salami-scented methane out of a fat
manwoman.”Fixed, and so much funnier, n’est-ce pas?
Ragegasmers will do very will under an all-Democrat government, particularly one run by an, er, dusky guy. In fact, they’ll have a pretty good run with the next equivalent of those nuts who bought crap from militia shortwave broadcasters.
But my compliments to the chef, as the Hulk wording gave me the first good laugh of the week.
I recommend Paxil and a psychiatrist.
Lesley: Speaking from personal experience, I wouldn’t recommend Paxil to my worst enemy. Therefore, I agree with your advice for the Malkin thing.
Some tell Michelle that she’s not Christian from Project Runway
She could be a contestant on the spinoff: Project Runway Australia. The contestants are making some tacky ass shit: for example: casual wear out of car parts and dresses for footballers’ wives.
I for one cannot wait to witness her complete meltdown.
Except that every time a wingnut melts down, God kills a Unitarian.
Via the Great Orange Satan via The Atlantic, yes — the McCain campaign officially said this:
I would have sworn that that was parody that I had written.
I guess they left out something about sipping la-di-da gay organic soy lattes with their damn pinky finger stickin’ out all gay and sh*t and prancin’ around in their hemp sandals and rollin’ all over their faggoty little Toyota Priuses…
Who was it says that history passes the first time as tragedy, the second time as farts?
Hoosier X – I think the
she’s just pissed that her side is running the Jimmy Kimmel to Obama’s Matt Damon
refers to the fact that, in that particular head to head, we’d rather be fucking Matt Damon.
she’s just pissed that her side is running the Jimmy Kimmel to Obama’s Matt Damon.
We’re talking “Sexiest Man Alive” here, right? I would have gone with George Clooney instead of Matt Damon, but whatever.
In fact, they’ll have a pretty good run with the next equivalent of those nuts who bought crap from militia shortwave broadcasters.
Geez, that’s RIGHT!! I’m surprised I haven’t thought of it before.
The time to set up a militia/survivalist website and start getting merchandise deals in place is NOW! If we get it in place and set up with some good natural search keywords, some deals on “Death From Above” t-shirts and “5 Megatons and it’s Miller Time” coffee cups, along with desert cammos, head scarves and face paint, we’re gonna be the only fuckers getting RICH by the end of the year!
mikey
Damn you, wordpress. I’ll say it again: wordpress is a goat-blowing assclown.
Argonaut: No.
I know how much Malkin wants politicians to protect their kids. That’s why I’m sure she was up-in-arms when Laura Bush brought her daughters to the Citigroup Center on Aug. 2, 2004… the day it was announced by Sec. Ridge that there was a credible threat the building would be attacked.
She wasn’t upset about that? Maybe because she knew the threat was a post-DNC political bullshit job. Nah, she couldn’t have known that… That would mean she was correct.
Oooh, MzNicky. Sad to say that you win the thread with that one.
http://www.nyc.gov/portal/beans/photogallery/images/2004/08/02/4947/10307/5A2D1684b.jpg
mikey: The right wing militia-following rubes apparently buy a lot of ‘natural health’ nonsense. My favorite was always the ‘colloidal silver’ which was going to kill every germ in your body, etc. Also, any books from people who claim to have been kidnapped by liberals and made to undergo mind control. I’m not making that up — there was that crazy woman who appeared on every one of those nut broadcasts I ever listened to who claimed to have been kidnapped by the CIA and mind-controlled to be a sex slave for Big Government, which was kidnapping thousands of children off the street every year for that very purpose. She sold a lot of books.
The right wing militia-following rubes apparently buy a lot of ‘natural health’ nonsense.
One of the ironies of hippiedom was that a lot of new agey nonsense fed pretty naturally into the black helicopter scene,
FYWP: why spell it out?
Reminds me of the Spy article back from the late 90s. Back in the old days of Bacall and Bogart, Hollywood people stayed in character, being the same person they were off the set as on. In modern times, Hollywood people have “day off” personas with outfits to match.
Michelle is just absolutely stupefied that reporters are dumb enough to fall for that crapola.
I mean, it’s not like Dear Leader ever cleared brush on the ranch or ever stood staring out over the Grand Canyon as though he were thinking about anything deeper than “When’s lunch?”
Who was it says that history passes the first time as tragedy, the second time as farts?
That would be Edroso the Magnificent.
The spread in People, which earlier this year fawned over a photo of the bare-chested Obama in his swimsuit,
Hmm. The word “spread” and “bare chested Obama” A little Freudian wishy – wish from Frau Malkin?
Completely off-topic, but seeing as how you folks love a snarky tale, and being such a welcome diversion from the Swamp Thing, you might enjoy this that I only just discovered, a piece by Mark Twain:
CONVERSATION, AS IT WAS BY THE SOCIAL FIRESIDE, IN THE TIME OF THE TUDORS.
Sample:
In ye heat of ye talk it befel yt one did breake wind, yielding an exceding mightie and distresfull stink, whereat all did laugh full sore, and then–
Ye Queene.–Verily in mine eight and sixty yeres have I not heard the fellow to this fart. Meseemeth, by ye grete sound and clamour of it, it was male; yet ye belly it did lurk behinde shoulde now fall lean and flat against ye spine of him yt hath bene delivered of so stately and so waste a bulk, where as ye guts of them yt doe quiff-splitters bear, stand comely still and rounde. Prithee let ye author confess ye offspring.
Mark Twain was teh Sadly,No! of the mid-1800’s.
Mid nineteenth century dammit.
Mid nineteenth century dammit.
Six of one, half-dozen of the other.
Mil gracias a SamFromUtah. That is indeed whur I saw it.
This year’s crop of designers just doesn’t seem to have anyone like old Princess PuffySleeves, does it?
No, and I’m totally glad. While I <3 christian totally, I am not sure I could take another season with a personality like that. Though Mr. Tan Girlicious is certainly trying his hardest. Ugh.
Oh yeah I am so derailing this thread into a PR discussion.
You can’t help but notice the McCain campaign has ground to a halt amid the coal and steam from the engine and smoke from the barbecue when it suddenly occurs to you that EVERY McCain for President advertisement OPENS with the words “Barack Obama” and usually doesn’t mention McCain’s name until the “I approved this message” part at the very end.
True that, Mikey. But Old John McSame can count on the courtiers of the Media Village Idiot tribe to carry his water (or drink his, uh, bathwater) for him. Charley Gibson led his Very Respectable Newscast with the information that “both campaigns are going negative”, by which he meant that (a) Obama’s new ad points out that McCain has publicly stated his intention of continuing Bush’s policies; and (b) McCain’s new ad calls Obama “the world’s biggest celebrity” and flashes pictures of Paris Hilton & Britney Spears. Equally both negative, yessir! Tsk, tsk, cosi fan tutti!
The infotainment show running after the newscast (couldn’t reach the clicker, busy cleaning up after the dog) helpfully led with a PowerPoint graphic of McCain’s specific charges against Obama’s “celebrity nutritional requirements”: Dark chocolate powerbars! Black Forest tea! (emphasised just like that on the voiceover). These shills are not even making an effort to hide their inner Hedley Lamarr anymore. (Although they do throw in Arugula!!!! as a footnote.)
Oh yeah I am so derailing this thread into a PR discussion.
Well, yeah, the issues around Puerto Rico are huge. What sort of governance and what sort of representation should there be there? Why should they continue to be something less than a state, and still less than independent? You’re right. PR is a giant issue, and one worth discussing and acting on…
What?
mikey
she’s just pissed that her side is running the Fred Thompson to Obama’s Matt Damon.
She’s just pissed her side is running Old Man Fudge Haus to Obama’s Denzel Washington.
Word Press nooooooooooooooooooooo
The McCain campaign memo El Cid quotes above is now posted on the McCain Blog.
she’s just pissed that her side is running Fred Thompson to Obama’s Matt Damon.
She’s just pissed her side is running Old Man Fudge Haus to Obama’s Denzel Washington.
Word Press why don’t you like italics and two lines separated by a paragraph break?
And when my previous, linked comment clears the imprimatur’s office, make that the McCain Report, not the McCain Blog.
Argonaut said,
“like salami-scented methane out of a fat woman.”
Fixed, and so much funnier, n’est-ce pas?
Everybody knows women don’t fart.
strange that it accepts some comments and not others.
I totally wish Obama was from THE HEARTLAND of Ohio, so they could have put his life-sized sculpture into the GIANT ASS BUTTER SCULPTURE!!!!111!! at the Ohio State Fair.
Instead they had only use the seven dead prez who came from Ohio. And the life-sized cow. And the life-sized calf.
We really didn’t like it when Michelle and Jesse lived here anyway. Fucking elitists.
Though Mr. Tan Girlicious is certainly trying his hardest. Ugh.
Ugh is right. Here’s hoping he gets drummed out tonight!
We need to keep saying, like a mantra, “getting shot down when you’re riding in a fighter plane is not ‘foreign policy experience'”. McCain’s experience of foreign was a bit of shopping in Baghdad, accompanied by most of an armoured division.
I mean, if we thought there was a realistic possibility that the Chinese or Russians were going to insist on torturing your president, maybe you should consider McCain, because he’s got the edge there. But otherwise, I’m not sure his “experience” is going to help any.
Malkin is right though. She complains about a poll that suggested you’d rather have Obama round for barbecue than McCain (which I definitely would: I’m not fond of politicians of any type but I’d rather share a rocket salad with the latte-drinking fop than eat whatever the guy telling wife that she’s an overmade-up cunt eats). Last time you chose the “guy you’d rather have a beer with”, it didn’t work out well.
she’s just pissed that her side is running…[variation on old timey bent over Republican crook] to Obama’s [dashing & suave with daring-do]
She’s just pissed her side is running Old Man Fudge Haus to Obama’s Denzel Washington.
on the theme of: she’s just pissed that her side is running [old timey bent over Republican crook] to Obama’s [dashing & suave with daring-do]
She’s just pissed her side is running Old Man Fudge Haus to Obama’s Denzel Washington.
(tried this umpteen ways from Sunday already but WordPress hasn’t allowed it. freak!)
So the MULKIN thinks the Obamas really live like… what?
They give the kids BIG allowances so they can support the Black Kittens party? Obama has never thrown a load of clothes in the wash? Michelle never buys clothes off the rack?
I’m sure she’s hinting they sacrifice Mickey’s cast off goats by the light of a full moon and buy all their clothes from Muslim Dior.
Only the finest comments make it through.
I particularly liked this sentence: “The Obamas wear normal clothes while doing normal things.” Ladies and gentlemen, the enemy is officially out of bullets.
“their two-faced tabloid strategy (show their true elitist colors behind closed doors, but play the Every Family for the Obamedia sycophants)”
Now watch this drive.
The fact is, Obamas are eleitist and they are black nationailist Islams. They hate America and want us lose
The fact is, I haven’t seen the Malfunctioning Robot in this thread yet. Can I get a Malfunctioning Robot?
I particularly liked this sentence: “The Obamas wear normal clothes while doing normal things.”
In Michelle’s cartoon universe, People Like Obama wear nothing more than a loincloth. And maybe a bone through their nose. And they spend all their time dancing around their cannibal pots, waving their spears and taunting the Great White Bwanas. Because Malkin’s role in the greater Wingnut universe is to make its less reality-challenged members feel all cosmopolitan and superior
like every other tiny Asian hooker making a living off gweilo fantasies.I’m sure the war in Iraq can be won. We just have to defeat all the terrorists. Pakistan is our friend. Israel can deal with Iran if we can’t. Maliki doesn’t mean it.I’m sure the war in Iraq can be won. We just have to defeat all the terrorists. Pakistan is our friend. Israel can deal with Iran if we can’t. Maliki doesn’t mean it.I’m sure the war in Iraq can be won. We just have to defeat all the terrorists. Pakistan is our friend. Israel can deal with Iran if we can’t. Maliki doesn’t mean it.I’m sure the war in Iraq can be won. We just have to defeat all the terrorists. Pakistan is our friend. Israel can deal with Iran if we can’t. Maliki doesn’t mean it.I’m sure the war in Iraq can be won. We just have to defeat all the terrorists. Pakistan is our friend. Israel can deal with Iran if we can’t. Maliki doesn’t mean it.I’m sure the war in Iraq can be won. We just have to defeat all the terrorists. Pakistan is our friend. Israel can deal with Iran if we can’t. Maliki doesn’t mean it.I’m sure the war in Iraq can be won. We just have to defeat all the terrorists. Pakistan is our friend. Israel can deal with Iran if we can’t. Maliki doesn’t mean it.I’m sure the war in Iraq can be won. We just have to defeat all the terrorists. Pakistan is our friend. Israel can deal with Iran if we can’t. Maliki doesn’t mean it.I’m sure the war in Iraq can be won. We just have to defeat all the terrorists. Pakistan is our friend. Israel can deal with Iran if we can’t. Maliki doesn’t mean it.I’m sure the war in Iraq can be won. We just have to defeat all the terrorists. Pakistan is our friend. Israel can deal with Iran if we can’t. Maliki doesn’t mean it.I’m sure the war in Iraq can be won. We just have to defeat all the terrorists. Pakistan is our friend. Israel can deal with Iran if we can’t. Maliki doesn’t mean it.
Even I hate myself for that…
mikey
The Obamas wear normal clothes while doing normal things.
I believe Michelle was thinking of something Biggie said.
don’t make me use torturous strawman arguments to avoid the point.
you wouldn’t like me when i use torturous strawman arguments to avoid the point.
When I lived in Columbus, I never went to the State Fair (though I did go to the fairgrounds a couple of times for a computer EXTRAVAGANZA!). Every year they have that same damned butter cow. One year there was a heatwave that knocked out the AC to the building housing said cow, and they were worried the thing would melt.
I see she got her McCain Campaign talking point right on time.
Michelle Obama buys her daughters dresses at H & M. What a snob! Not like that nice down-to-earth Laura Bush, who poses with her daughters on the cover of Vogue wearing Oscar de La Renta couture.
Butter cows are a monument to Middle America!
Why do you hate butter cows?
Only the finest comments make it through.
Word Press passed this finest comment…
The fact is, Obamas are eleitist and they are black nationailist Islams. They hate America and want us lose
…earlier this evening rectally.
“Everybody knows women don’t fart.”
I guess I was the only one who didn’t know. But I looked it up and you’re right. Apparently women can’t keep their mouths closed long enough to build up sufficient pressure.
My bad.
Sent this LTTE to TNR:
“Michelle Malkin’s column about the news coverage on the Obama family is hilarious for its faux outrage. Perhaps Michelle is picking up People magazine for the first time, having until now limiting her reading material to Ann Coulter books?
Presidential candidates are routinely covered by the celebrity press – note that very same journal’s December 2007 story about John McCain and his family, featuring equally silly details about their wardrobes, eating habits, and school memories.
There has also been frequent coverage of the Bush family in the entertainment press. The First Lady and her daughters appeared in a photo spread in Vogue, wearing couture clothing.
It’s all silly, it’s all predictable, but, most importantly, it’s all completely the norm for Presidential candiates of all parties. For some reason, Michelle Malkin seems to find it unusual only as it is applied to Barack Obama.
Oh, and when Michelle worries that we might be – “hurtling toward a government of the stupid, by the stupid, for the stupid we go.” – she’s a little late. We’ve had stupid government for the past eight years.”
Odd that Hulkin takes a swipe at people who read Us Weekly. Isn’t that a wee elitist of her?
But then again, I’m an elitist Whole Foods shopping killer of fetuses, and I read Us.
Obama is a communist. Obama is a Muslim. Obama is a scary black man who knows other scary black men. Obama is a vampire who preys on virgin white women. Obama hates America.
Let’s add to the list –
Obama chases his assistant’s SUV while driving drunk
Obama goes out clubbing without panties on.
Obama cries when sent to jail.
Obama throws cellphones at his maid.
I’m confused. Is Malkin pissed about Obama, or the Republican “real Amercians” bullshit facade they’ve been pandering for 50 years?
Speaking of stupid:
Oh dear. Should we go the hypocrite route and point out the dearth of coverage over Cindy’s drug issues? No, I think we’ll stick with the classic WTF?! Michelle Obama – clearly the media has been leaving her alone, what with the constant questioning of how much she hates America.
Apparently Michelle Malkin is hiding in the Obama’s bushes and keeping track of their elitist ways behind closed doors. Totally the opposite of “a private plane is the only way to get around in Arizona”. I’m apparently going to go through this at least one more time (from Wikipedia):
Barack Obama – raised by a single mother and her parents.
Michelle Obama – raised by her parents, a city water plant employee and a secretary at Siegel’s
Both worked hard and did incredibly well in school in order to make it to Harvard Law. In other words, the dreams of all parents not in the same social class as:
John Sidney McCain the Third – son of a four star admiral, who was in turn the son of a four star admiral.
Cindy Hemsley McCain – Beer baroness. Net worth in the nine figures.
Which ones are the “elitists” again?
Oh and about the staged photo ops? I addressed that earlier, but I think I’d like to mention a certain BBQ that was held earlier this campaign season. Wasn’t that also a cynical and manufactured event? I wonder what you had to say about that?
And what was your last point? Oh yeah, Press bias. Really? Wasn’t it just a week ago that CBS Evening News fabricated an interview out of clips to cover for the fact that McCain doesn’t know what the surge is? Are you seriously trying to peddle the notion that the Press is biased against John McCain? I know you’re delusional and apparently very, very angry, but you have got to be fucking kidding me.
I had to stop drinking my elitist glass of box wine because I was laughing so hard at Hulkin.
Laughter make Hulkin mad. Must smash laughter.
Love eminems elitist attitude toward us mouth breathers reading People magazine while watching Inside Edition. We’re so stupid, we deserve a hollow President.
Wait, didn’t we just live through that for the last 8 years? Of course, I’ve been busy catching up on my back issues of Entertainment Weekly while simultaneously buying over-priced organic food to notice.
Awesome Hulkin work. I’ll be giggling (in a very snide fashion) for days.
Damn presidential candidates showing up in the media. What’s next, weather reports?
(Although now that I think about it, I’m sure Michelle could work up some towering outrage over a weather report.)
Only real red blooded Heartland-Americans can appreciate the true beauty that is a cow made of butter.
Ssssshhhhhhhhhhhh ……….. ixnay on teh utter-bay ow-cay.
Argonaut doesn’t like women, but we knew that well before he revealed the fact so blatantly today. I wonder which one of the bacon and playdoh wingnut blogs he hails from.
“I’ll say it again: wordpress is a goat-blowing assclown.”
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
No carved butter cows at the Minnesota State Fair, just a carved butter bust of Princess Kay of the Milky way:
http://www.midwestdairy.com/pages/news.cfm?TREE_ID=337
D. Aristophanes said,
… increasingly …She’s just flat-out enraged that the country’s political culture is moving rapidly away from her dearly held positions.
It’s not like she’s going away or anything. But she seems fairly aware that her heyday of bordering on being a mainstream opinion-maker is long gone and she ain’t getting anywhere near it again any time soon.
when it comes right down to it, all welfare wingnuts need an easy paying gig and plenty of attention. Malkin is merely amping the screech in the hopes she can sustain her income. (what would she do for a living otherwise? it’s not as if she has any marketable skills, and she’s too old for cheerleading.)
Can’t she do some more of her cheerleader soft-porn vlogging while carping about the trivializing and tabloidization of our culture?
-GSD
True.
For instance, the same concept could create a statue of Bush that is made out of shit.
Lesley printed out, ” divide by zero error ……… ”
Well, you could always seek out the Great Gazoogle, check my comments and see where they occur. I got a six-pack of Mountain Dew and a family-size bag of Cheetos to deal with or I’d look ’em up for you.
Wanna hear me burp the Star-spangled Banner?
Every year they have that same damned butter cow. One year there was a heatwave that knocked out the AC to the building housing said cow, and they were worried the thing would melt.
Hey, no problem! Then they could all play “Little Black Sambo.”
Argonaut: You are seriously getting on my last nerve. Is it purposive sexist trollism on your part, or are you just trying to be a jackass for some other obnoxious reason known only to yourself?
Either way, bite my ass.
You Obama supporters have yet to answer why you think Obama is so great and why you’ve made him out to be the messiah. You’ve yet to make me disavow the reason why McCain is so awesome and kewliez- mainly that he dunks my junk. Doodles my noodle. And so on.
In conclusion, fuck me John McCain, fuck me long and hard.
Argonaught is Dan Collins?
At last, like a hairball, Malkin coughs up her true demand.
(Please, please… no photos of Sidney and Cindy without makeup. Tenk yew in advance.)
MzNicky said, “Argonaut: You are seriously getting on my last nerve.”
OK, let’s review. Lesley made a ‘joke’ about fat men and methane. I changed the word ‘man’ to ‘woman’ and added an ironic comment that the joke was now funnier(1). Lesley said (joked? I guess not.) women don’t fart. I repeat very old joke about *why* women don’t fart. Lesley is not amused and wonders which wingnut masturbatory blog is my home. You are not amused and invite me to bite your ass.
If you can’t take a fat woman joke right after you make a fat man joke, you obviously have womanist poles the size of grizzly bears jammed firmly up your biteable asses. My condolences, but they’re your poles, not mine.
(1) You see, this is my way of saying that jokes about fat people are gender neutral. Get it?
argonut, is a man with a stick up his ass. he’s not alone.
We get it. You’re still an asshole. Sheesh.
Argonaut, show us on the doll where the bad feminist touched you.
[Though somehow I’m suspect that more cruelly, she just pointed and laughed.]
suspectING. Me type good.
And y’all quit screwing with the poor, dumb bastard. It ain’t fair and he ain’t gonna listen anyhow.
(Although now that I think about it, I’m sure Michelle could work up some towering outrage over a weather report.)
Hurricane Katrina only did all that damage to make poor Dubya look bad. As an extra insult, the lie-brul hurricane chose to make landfall on John McCain’s birthday, hoping for photo juxtipositions that would hurt McCain’s still-unborn campaign.
Fuck having a beer with McCain.
Hell Yeah! If Rep. Frank is successful in his drive to decriminalize pot, I’d much rather queue up some R. Coyo and share a spliff with President O’.
I would much rather have a beer with John McCain than see him as president.
I would much rather have a beer with George W. Bush than stick a nail through my hand.
Just sayin’.
By the way: Seeing lots more Obama signs lately in Lancaster, Calif. Not seeing ANY McCain signs.
Weird.
Michelle Hulkin – yep, pretty much a bullseye.
Yes, how DARE the media treat a front-running candidate for America’a highest office like he’s a celebrity – the unmitigated nerve of them! So unlike America’s other, more low-profile pols … like JFK, or Clinton, or Reagan … or that humble, regular-joe kind of guy, John Sidney McCain III.
The “hurtling toward a government of the stupid, by the stupid, for the stupid” line is, um, awfully fucking moronic itself, Michelle … that is, unless you’ve been in a drug-coma for the last 8 years.
She’s the first person I’ve yet seen who’s enough of a dipshit to call Obama stupid – the likes of Coulter & O’Reilly may passionately hate the sight of him, but even malevolent ignorance-loving shitheels like them wouldn’t dream of trying to get away with a FUBAR leap-of-judgement like that – yow! She’s projecting so hard you can point her at a blank wall, shove film up her arse & watch cartoons!
Not only is she prone to perpetrating some of the most Byzantine grammar possible in English, but Malkin obviously has a chronic case of PMS … every single day of her life.
I only know of one possible solution that doesn’t involve death or permanent brain-damage. It’s not cheap, & it’s risky, but it just MIGHT work. Hash-brownies – lots of them – & just keep them coming. Maybe, after 4-8 weeks or so, lucidity would finally set in. Then the only challenge is to keep her from suiciding when she realizes what she’s done with her life for the last decade.
I particularly liked this sentence: “The Obamas wear normal clothes while doing normal things.”
In Michelle’s cartoon universe, People Like Obama wear nothing more than a loincloth.
That made me think of the scene in Nashville where Opal (Geraldine Chaplin) watches the black gospel choir and remarks:
“That rhythm is fantastic. You know, it’s funny. You can tell it’s, it’s come down in the genes through ages and ages and hundreds of years, but it’s there. And take off those robes and, and one is in darkest Africa. I can just see them – naked frenzied bodies dancing in the heat of…do they carry on like that in church?”
Sort of OT, but I just went to a site that lists movies for…uh, totally legal downloading, and some cad had filed “Blazing Saddles” under “Black Comedy”.
The McCain campaign right now is the ‘Hamstring President Obama’ campaign. Funny how Malkin hasn’t got the memo. Perhaps it’s because the wingnut welfare recession is on its way.
Heh. ‘Blazing Saddles’ is the best cultural touchstone for the election. No, really. The unedited version you don’t get on basic cable, that is.
“Snobama”????
Yeah, that makes sense…the Obamas are superficial and stupid parts of the dumbed-down media culture and AT THE SAME TIME elitist intellectuals who can pronounce “arugula”. Therefore, let’s all vote for McRetired who will heroically veto every single beer to protect our country.
While Snobama complains
Obama in snow?
And vis a vis the forrin policy experience, at least Obama had been outside the fuckin’ country before taking office. As distinct from some rich-arse dickhead I could name.
I just want to say this to Michelle: Vote for Obama. You’d do it for Randolph Scott!
Oh, and George Clooney, yes please. Denzel Washington, also yes please. Both, oddly enough, intelligent, politically aware men with some passion and some compassion.
Unlike the wizened old fossil who’s the Republican candidate.
Hey, wordpress just let me have two comments in a row.
Nerny nerny ner, wordpress loves me and it doesn’t love you (sticks tongue out).
Halp. I’m using Firefox (3) and out of curiosity I thought I’d try the option on the drop-down menu for the SadlyNo which is all garishly bright blue and modern looking. How do I get back home to the original SN?
“The Obamas wear normal clothes while doing normal things.”
Whereas we all know that the Obamas wear lime-green velveteen hot pants and nipple pasties, while standing on their heads warbling The Rime Of The Ancient Mariner in polka time. And never, ever, ever do any laundry, ever.
Poor Miss Malkin! She must get such a shock each morning the first time she looks in the mirror. She should be in our prayers.
FYI,Megan McCain is in this month’s Glamour Magazine. An article about her “surprising choices in men”and how much she’s like her dad.
Not that that means anything….
OK, let’s review.
Having come down in defense of wanting to make fat jokes, I feel the need to chime in.
Argonaut, get off the cross. You’re making all of us insensitive cads look
badworse.Here’s a good example of how to know you’re over the line and offending people – when people tell you specifically that you’re over the line and offending them. Continuing in that behavior means:
1. You don’t give two shits about the people who are complaining OR
2. You get your rocks off by way of intentional cobaggery.
Well, I guess it could be both.
Argonaut, get off the cross.
Nah, leave him up there til he starts whistling “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.”
The fact is, the Obamessiah is fooling all the liberal eleites, but not us here in the Heartland. They want to be fooled, they are so full of Bush Hatred witch is a disease. It was very presumtious of him to campaign in another country, and unpatriotic to not visit the troops. The DoD did NOT say he couldn’t go, he is lyeing. You fools will bring on another terrorist attack if you make him President, they will exploit our weakness that you created. Just like Vietnam, we were winning when I left.
Just in…exclusive video of first version of “Celeb” ad. Watch it here. http://www.tagg-lines.com/2008/07/just-intagglines-exclusive-video.html
McCain – Gray Ambition
~
Halp. I’m using Firefox (3) and out of curiosity I thought I’d try the option on the drop-down menu for the SadlyNo which is all garishly bright blue and modern looking. How do I get back home to the original SN?
And the option to go back to the white background with dark text is no longer available, no? Have you tried dumping your cache and clearing your Sadly, No!-related cookies? Perhaps other commenters who actually know about computers (unlike me) might be able to give you a more refined method for addressing the problem.
So much stupidity gives me vertigo. Here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to pick the least significant error and correct it. That way I can pretend that I have fixed something and I don’t have to think about all the other batshit dumbfuckery.
Ahem.
While the “normal” pictures are meant to humanize celebrities, the “not normal” label isn’t slapped on private jets and nanny entourages. It is reserved for things like a barefoot trip to the gas station restroom and a makeout session with your tiny dog. Not things that normal people might do if they were rich, but things that normal people should never do, ever. Malkin can rest assured that if Mrs. O leaves her house with her skirt sticking out of her dirty panties, we will all hear about it.
Fat fat fatty fat fat fat fat fatty fat.
J– : Apparently that was the problem, the cache of cookies. When I used the “Clear Private Data” function in Firefox, it wasn’t set up to delete all cookies. Once cookies were gone, the newfangled and uglier SN! was too.
Poor Miss Malkin! She must get such a shock each morning the first time she looks in the mirror. She should be in our prayers.
I’ve wondered before if her weight issues might have something to do with her non-European face structure. Even Asian women who aren’t burdened by Malkin’s genocidal self-loathing can have difficulty accepting that naturally wide cheekbones do not make them fat (or less beautiful.) We will know for certain if she progresses to plastic surgery and bleach.
cookies!
NOM NOM NOM
MOAR COOKIES!!!!
El Cid—
You don’t even need to delete all your cookies. Under the Firefox preferences window, there is an option (I think it’s under “Content” or “Privacy”) to display all your cookies. At the top of the cookie display window, there is a search bar. Type in “sadlyno.com” and your cache of cookies for this site will be displayed. You can then delete just those cookies without removing your login data, etc. for other sites, which, for stuff like your bank Web site, can be a pain in the ass to get back (banks make you go through a bunch of other steps, like entering your ATM card number and PIN, if they can’t find their cookie on your computer).
And in other Malkin despises fake photo op news:
Remember JiSM3’s Grand Iraqi Shopping Trip?
Here’s what Malkin had to say about it:
Yeah! Our Michelle, standing up for honest Straight Talk instead of pre-planned staged photo ops.
So this is what they do if the Democratic candidate isn’t terminally dorky (ala Kerry).
Popular, not popular, military experience, no military experience, good-looking, ugly, rich, poor… they have a canned response for any Democratic candidate.
You don’t even have to delete all your SN cookies, the background info is just in one, wpthemeblahblahblah. Look at the content line, the one you want to delete will say something+background, something being whatever bg you chose.
And why would anyone want to make a sculpture out of ass butter?
And why would anyone want to make a sculpture out of ass butter?
Rule 34!
Snobama?
Re Gary Ruppert’s “Bush Hatred witch” — must be Hulkin’s twin. She’s got the politics OK, still working on the anger thing.
“Hurtling toward a government of the stupid, by the stupid, for the stupid we go.”
Oh Fuck, is she predicting a McSame win??
She’s hinting that once you become a Democratic politician, you get a check for eleventy-million dollars, a free mansion and a household staff of 12, courtesy of George Soros.
She thinks small-town voters are
bittersilly for clinging to theirgunscelebrity magazines.I found the joke about why women don’t fart to be both funny and appropriate for the forum.
all these pompous rethug proclamations are so irony laden that they put me in mind of the old ted rall cartoon which posited that cheney, rumsfeld, et al, are actually liberal moles who set in motion a conservative agenda so foul and misconceived that it would ruin the conservative brand for decades, only to find that it was immediately adopted as gospel by the trogs across the land. it defies reason that any right thinking person could attempt to take over MM’s column, and pen screeds that could even come close to the sheer lunacy and fact-free bilge she so effortlessly spews.
I found the joke about why women don’t fart to be both funny and appropriate for the forum.
As did I, but when he explained it, not only did he suck all the humor out, but he then used the corpse as a bludgeon.
It’s odd how Malkin gets worked over certain people. Take Rachel Ray whose positive attitude, effort to get children interested in cooking, and fame for her natural talents that she worked for. Obama whose the true pinnicle of “family values” the neo-cons love to throw around: he’s still on his first marriage and hasn’t had mistresses or gay affairs. Or Bradgelina, the celebrity couple who’ve taken in 3rd world children, help out poor countries and got awards for being talented actors.
Then look at Malkin, whose only claim to fame is copying Ann Coulter and being a novelty (being Asian). While her targets will probably still be remembered in 20 years, I think deep down Malkin knows that the second her looks start to fade, her allies will replace her with a younger, angrier, more attractive woman with a better novelty (I’m going with light-skinned Hispanic lipstick lesbian with enough self-hate to give Uncle Ruckus a run for his money.) Being loud\obnoxious may be a good short-term goal, but then again when’s the last time we’ve seen Tom Green in anything big?
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