Stick a fork in David because he is done

Have you ever wondered what a column written by a man of limited talents who has completely run out of ideas would look like? Wonder no more.

Thanks to Blair for the link and offering his own comment on the column:

Frighteningly dumb, disgustingly unfunny.

 

Comments: 15

 
 
 

God, I hate seeing comedy practiced by talentless hacks. I got that queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach you get when you see someone tell a joke that just bombs, when you see a comedian bomb, when you feel so badly for the person you feel a deep personal shame and embarrassment.

I mean, did he let anyone read that before it was posted? It’s just so shockingly god-awfully bad. How do people find the guts to put up stuff like this?

(I’ve often wondered how Wolf “Leslie” Blitzer felt the very first time he told someone what he wanted his on-screen name to be. I mean, when you tell people in the porn industry you want your name to be Long Dong Silver, everyone knows it’s campy and a joke. When you tell a news agency, you want to be called WOLF BLITZER, how do you quell that churning gut feeling that everyone sees right through that to that “I want to be a man, a big, big, strong man” little kid inside?)

Christ, between Brooksie and the Saffliar, the Times sure is letting their op-ed real estate go to the dogs. Sheesh.

 
 

I don’t know which is worse: David Brooks attempting to be funny or Bill O’Reilly trying to be sexy. Icky, icky, icky.

 
 

It was obvious Brooks was out of his league by week two and, like any Republican who can even charitably be described as “sentient” he’s seen the quarter-century Reagan era of We Can Say Whatever The Fuck We Want And Get Away With It collide with reality, and reality won. As with the beating Jon Stewart administered to Tucker Carlson, the message is clear: these guys got nothing left but a paycheck.

 
 

Good grief, Lileks could have written a funnier treatment than that.

 
 

Wow, they found someone less funny than Carrot Top. Painful, just painful. Hey and inaccurate too.

 
 

Well, decent people would be embarrassed. But at the New York Times, Brooks’ column will probably win an award.

 
 

Banana Slug–

I misread that as “Gov. Carrot Top.”

I won’t be sleeping tonight!

 
 

It’s not the worst I’ve ever seen. I actually found it a nice change from his usual attempts to “oh so reasonably” explain that Bush is right (despite the overwhelming evidence and personal testimony of God against him) while Kerry fully deserves the arsenic enema Brooks is giving him, all in a thinly veiled disguise of faux even-handedness. Sure, he’s no John Stewart, or Seb, or patriotboy, or s.z. or Felber, and yes, he’s not even a Carrottop, but he’s trying. Give him a nice gold star for his effort so his mom can put his article on the refrigerator with pride.

 
 

Pretty sad.

 
 

…And he gets paid for it. Actual money.

This reminds me how grateful I am to all of you out there who write intelligently, humorously, and consistently, despite the miniscule or non-existent compensation.

 
 

Do you think anyone at the NYTimes noticed?

It’s fucking embarrassing. Embarrassing.

 
 

Oh, Larkspur, I absolutely agree.

 
 

Oh my Jeebus, who’s his editor? Carrot Top?

 
 

Did you notice that the column was truncated?
There should be one last answer coming from Bush.
I suspect the New York Times editors didn’t care for Mr. Brooks’ latest effort either.

 
 

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