Things I Learned From Today’s “Day By Day” Cartoon
Posted on April 30th, 2008 by Mister Leonard Pierce
1. It is possible, while preparing to go to the opera, to accidentally strap on a concealed holster and a firearm, provoking the reaction “Oops!”.
2. My Glock 22 police .40-caliber semi-auto must be atypical of the line, because from this drawing, they are approximately the size of a shrimp fork.
3. Carrying a gun is an old habit from her single days that dies hard for Sam, even though she and Zed have been married for two years.
4. The ideal location for a concealed weapon is on one’s upper thigh, where you would have to either hike up your skirt or take off your pants to get to it.
5. Chris Muir sure does like drawing half-dressed women.
6. He still seems incapable of delivering a punchline that makes any sense whatsoever, though.
FIRST!!!11
Maybe the scale of the Glock is fine. It’s just the woman’s thighs are a bit bigger than first glance suggests.
Maybe the Glock’s fine, it’s just the people are enormous?
She’s pretty hot!
I’ve thought about it and thought about it; what the hell does the last frame mean? “Not just old habits.” What is that supposed to allude to?
“Not just old habits.” What is that supposed to allude to?
Nelson Rockefeller?
Or perhaps Nelson’s Rockerformer, which has been deflated by gunsighting.
“I’ve thought about it and thought about it; what the hell does the last frame mean? “Not just old habits.” What is that supposed to allude to?”
Some sort of reference to the movie “Die Hard?” The fuck if I know.
“2. My Glock 22 police .40-caliber semi-auto must be atypical of the line, because from this drawing, they are approximately the size of a shrimp fork.”
Hmm…any pop Freudians wanna analyze Mr. Muir’s inadequate Glock?
It’s a Model 26, not a Model 22.
And I’d carry at least that to the opera.
Actually? I’d bring a grenade.
But that’s just me…
mikey
5. i She needs to see a bra fitter, stat.
ii And an orthopedist for that frightening scoliosis… she can model DNA.
She wears a gun to the Opera?
I guess you never know when you have to open fire on a contralto
Fucking word press.
The whole last panel makes no sense at all. I thought he was referring to criminals that she would shoot with her gun, but why would they die hard? If it’s hard to kill criminals with a gun, why would you carry one? And why would this provoke the reaction “Pig”, as if he’s made some sort of sexual comment?
Or, alternately, if the “hard” refers to his conserva-boner, why would he want it to die? And is he seriously saying her gun gives him a hard-on? Or is he turned on by the prospect of her being attacked?
The whole thing is totally bewildering. Like many Chris Muir comics, it seems like it’s supposed to have a punchline, but it’s nearly impossible to figure out what it means.
Not just habits, but what, exactly? Pig, sure, but why just now? Mysterious!
I admit I don’t get it. It also seems that he draws women as oddly shaped. Anyway, I looked him up on wikipedia and there is a quote from him that I don’t understand at all. Something about dictators having big hands or something.
Can’t be a 26, Mikey — that comes in four calibers, but none of them are .40. The 27 holds a .40, but even the 27 isn’t a teeny little pocket pistol like the 26…
“Chris Muir sure does like drawing half-dressed women.”
none of those panels contains a women. I’d say more like modern art in a bra and panties.
WordPress actually thinds “Day by Day” is funny
I would say he was jacking it in the last panel (hence the old habits) but his hands are in sight…fuck it I don’t even want to know.
Facts, the comic’s got skimpy underwear, a small gun and vague but unmistakable innuendo of some sort. Beyond that it’s gibberish.
So from Muir’s point of view this is an unqualified success. One his best.
“Not just old habits.” What is that supposed to allude to?
Francisco Franco
Ok, Leonard, the dufus is, well, a dufus.
He thinks she strapped the .40 service pistol, but hey, it’s the Opera fer crissakes so she felt ok with the 9mm 26, and he just didn’t know the diff.
‘Cause that’s a 26, so he’s an idiot. Actually, I thought you could get the 26 in .40, so maybe he’s not such a total dork.
She ended up taking the gravity knife, the .22 pen gun and a little lipstick-case C4 device with a three meter kill radius.
But I don’t get the “punch line” either…
mikey
The implication seems pretty clear to me… when the woman in the strip was single (i.e. without a Muir-ly protector), she carried a gun to fend off would-be assailants. Those assailants would be in a state of arousal as she killed them, ergo they would die hard.
It’s a rape joke with a dick joke chaser. Classy.
It’s sexist to mention your wife’s corpses, doh. Like all the guys she slept with. It’s the best guess I can come up with.
I think the girl will have to lift her leg over her head to shoot that gun. Fortunately she has no spine, so it ought to be easy.
The 4/30/08 strip is up, and it looks like she’s decided on her going-to-the-opera outfit. The thing that dies hard is definitely Muir’s boner.
Also, at some point between today’s strip and tomorrow’s, three fingers on her right hand get broken and the thumb severed.
didn’t she just have twins???
5. Chris Muir sure does like drawing half-dressed women.
No, he has other people draw the half-dressed women for him. He doesn’t do the art. Which is odd, since he write either.
“he can’t write”
Neither can I, apparently.
I blame WordPress.
kyrol — by George, I think you’ve got it! I couldn’t quite parse the thing because it’s so unfunny, convoluted and inappropriate. Well done.
J — Besides the Morgana-the-Kissing-Bandit outfit on Sam, I especially like today’s strip’s implication that if we hadn’t invaded Iraq, the Republican Guard would be here today, disrupting our operas.
And as far as any of that goes, that one-thigh rig is NOT gonna stay in place.
You’re gonna end up with your gun on the floor and some ‘splainin to do, loocey.
See, guns fulla bullets are HEAVY.
So you have to support the carry rig in some way to keep them from yielding to gravity.
You hook ’em to your belt, you hook ’em to your ALICE gear, you hook ’em to SOMETHING. ‘Cause they won’t, they CAN’T just hang there on their own.
Go ahead. Try to hang some two pound thing on your thigh and tell me how well it stays there. This is the stuff of paranoid LIVES! You have to think this through.
I’ve gone out, in public, in daylight, with a MAC-11 9mm submachine gun, 120 rounds, an alloy P38 9mm pistol, a Star PD .45, a Smith 19 2 inch .357, two frag and one CS grenade. Along with a K-Bar, an AFO and an AFCK. Um, those are knives.
It takes like three hours to get dressed.
You don’t want to take it off, ’cause it was so much work to put it on.
Y’know?
Tweakers? You out there?
mikey
It’s a rape joke with a dick joke chaser. Classy.
My god, you may be right.
Maybe “die hard” is for the opera characters… Tosca is about political partisans killed by a corrupt leader. Beardly and Spiral Spine will love it.
I give up. It’s Zen without the enlightenment thingie
I…er….ummm..that is….
Mr. Leonard Pierce I have to ask a question. You start well with the impersonal, generic, “one’s upper thigh” and that’s all well and good. But then..and gentlemen and then… “your skirt”“? your pants?”
I’m confused.
Go ahead. Try to hang some two pound thing on your thigh and tell me how well it stays there.
I do it every day. Hasn’t fallen off yet.
Here’s my explanation of the punchline.
“Tosca needs the .40 Glock”?
“the” .40 Glock? A definite article, or a distinguishing characteristic. The implication is that she has more then one personal defense gun. I”m wondering how she decides which one goes with which ensemble or event. .50 DE for McDonalds? .38 revolver for jogging? Maybe a .357 Sig for walks in the park. I bet she broke out the pearl-handled 1911A for her wedding; something classy, ya know?
wordpress makes baby jesus cry.
After the first panel I was hoping the Tosca they are talking about is a restaurant. After the last panel I was wishing that it’s pizza delivery because I don’t want to imagine these creeps at any public place.
Mikey:
Ice G:
Yet another example of penile reattachment surgery gone horribly wrong.
.
OT: can any Sadlies do anything with this John Stossel photo:
http://sfist.com/2008/04/29/photo_du_jour_1_13.php
I mean, it’s sort of perfect the way it is, but I thought maybe you’d want to add it to the repetoire.
Y’know, this morning, I was thinking to myself, “It’s been a while since Sadly, No did a DBD.”
…and lo and behold! 🙂
WordPress wants to take our handguns away.
God, Kathleen, that’s frightening.
I’m hoping mikey is going to be at the performance, and a shootout erupts….
I would trust mikey not to hit innocent bystanders though. And mr. monkeysuit there is certainly going to piss away his tux rental deposit…
Wait… someone else draws it, and he just fills in the bubbles?! Wow, what a talentless fuck!
Ok, I have to admit that this one is funny.
Prelude to “A Night at the Opera”
Are there many behaviors that would mark you so distinctly as a non-alpha male as throwing a hissy fit because you might be late to the opera? Muir captures a couple’s folie a deux indirectly, using images of women whose bodies will someday be begged for by the Mutter Museum.
I believe Word Press is Haloscan’s aunt–the one they usually keep locked in the attic.
See … you’ve got the near nekkid woman, you’ve got not just a gun but a gun near the place pork-eating pornojewesses put their divorce aids.
This “cartoon” would make Tony Zirkle cream his polyester blend slacks.
Wow, didn’t know Stossel was the model for Borat, but it kind of makes sense.
Chris Muir must be some kind of zen master, or right-wing plot to make us waste time. Nobody could be that unfunny by accident.
With this Muir you have to settle for folie a douche.
Arky H8r of VurdPress:
Perhaps the woman has disguised her forbidden divorce aid as an acceptable device–a gun. But her husband has recognized her duplicity, and is delivering a veiled warning that she mustn’t fall back into “bad habits” of using divorce aids rather than offering him the comfort of an adult woman, because then he might be tempted to chase children.
While I endorse the criminals (really, probably just black people who happened to be ambling along in the wrong neighborhood – can’t be too careful when your God is Muir) dying ‘hard’ theory, I do like the alternative suggestion of a conservaboner.
Yes, the thought of your wife being attacked by enormous, lecherous, swarthy men and being forced to daintily murder them – like Scarlett O’Hara, only not quite so softcore – is definitely grounds for a conservaboner. Those groping, veiny, hairy, mocha-brown hands, bloodied by firepower? Conservaboner. Hell, the idea of a white woman who has the rape schedule so internalized that she feels it necessary to carry a concealed pistol to the opera? Definite conservaboner.
What else might be grounds for a conservaboner? Inquiring minds want to know.
Based on a review of Famous Conservaboners in 2007:
Diapers.
Prostitutes.
Meth.
Guys in bathrooms.
Guys passed out drunk.
WordPress is also the source of many a conservaboner*
*Because it SUCKS.
Also, how in the fuck did Mr. Goatee go from buttoning up his shirt to righting his tie in too little time for the lipstick and highlight with titties to do anything except remove a pistol strapped on with a single belt? My favorite guess is that they’re actually at the opera; he regards women’s clothing as serving the same function the burqa does, but considers the opera homogenous enough to allow him some liberty in concealing his woman’s hypothetically pleasing form – so no need for her to clothe herself any more than dignity necessitates.
As for him dressing himself, I guess he’s using the intermission to deliver a crowd-pleasing impromptu rendition of Il Recceptore della Goat-Se with his shirtfront.
Huh. So now we can add “alpha male” and “betamax” to terms that Muir either doesn’t understand, or deliberately misuses to prop up a bad pun. I’ve seen childen with barbie dolls do a better imitation of witty adult conversation.
The Festrunk brothers told better jokes than this.
You can almost see her buttplug!
She likes going out in a buttplug.
You try walking through the mall with a two-pound loaded Glock 26 strapped to your thigh and see what kind of reception you get.
I’ll keep it simple and just state that I hate Chris Muir as much as I hate the homophobe troll that frequents the SN comment threads. Also I’m willing to bet next week’s pay cheque that Muir’s penis is the size of a french fry.
I’d say yes, but alec beat me to it. Where’s my f*&%ing .40?!
So does he. Alas, now with gay marriage being legal in five nations, even they are falling victim to divorce-aids! Zirkle save us!
more evidence for the conservoboner:
http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/2008/04/26/
Diapers.
Prostitutes.
Meth.
Guys in bathrooms.
Guys passed out drunk.
Don’t forget the double wetsuits
i have a pretty well-developed sense of humor and really, I cannot make heads or tails of the alleged punchline.
Like Michelle Malkin, it’s there to provide jacking material for rightards whose beer bellies have obscured their tiny dicks for 20 years or longer. Any talent or humor or worthy content is purely coincidental.
NOT JUST OLD HABITS MY DICK IS HARD TOO ROFLOLOL
i guess you just don’t understand wingnut humor, but i think this is the idea
OT: can any Sadlies do anything with this John Stossel photo
That’s it. Kathleen, you will be hearing from my lawyers soon. Jesus Christ, woman, slap a warning on that sort of thing.
mikey: I admit I don’t know much about guns myself, but I was under the impression that there *were* garter guns– but that they were the relatively teensy derringers.
The implication seems pretty clear to me… when the woman in the strip was single (i.e. without a Muir-ly protector), she carried a gun to fend off would-be assailants. Those assailants would be in a state of arousal as she killed them, ergo they would die hard.
It’s a rape joke with a dick joke chaser. Classy.
Still an epic fail. IF you have to explain a joke it wasnt worth saying
also notice that the only objects that have shading and detail and the gun and her bra. I suspect he lingered over both, with same itching feeling in his palms the entire tims
And I’d carry at least that to the opera.
Actually? I’d bring a grenade.
If you can’t take the heat, it’s because Mikey — or someone like him — set fire to the kitchen.
Is there even any reason for her to be in her pants? Has he given up all pretence already?
The fact is, I predict a terrorists attack at the opera, with liberals unable to help because they are scared. But the well armed will defend freedom.
I predict a terrorists attack at the opera, with liberals unable to help because they are scared.
The fact is that Gary is plagiarising the plot of Foul Play.
————– SPOILER ALERT ——————
Liberals save the day. The plot to assassinate the Pope at a performance of Mikado is thwarted, but not by well-armed conservatives in the audience.
I guess I’ve just never found myself thinking “Gee, if only I had a legally concealed handgun right about now”.
*That’s* what Foul Play was about?
My parents wouldn’t let me see it when I was a kid, which of course convinced me that it was the most awesomest, sex-filled movie ever made. I never did see it, even after Vishnu invented Blockbuster, and now I’m glad I didn’t waste my time.
Well, those scallpos aren’t gonna sear themselves …
I thought Tosca was the chick, and the guy just has a weird way of addressing her. So Tosca is a restaurant, or an opera? If he’s got a conserva-boner, though, why has it gone all soft and flaccid? Is he a closet liberal who’s actually emasculated by the thought of a woman with a gun? Is he afraid of freedom?
Wow. The bestest DBD yet!!!
And WordPress agrees with everything that Alan Keyes has ever said.
Here’s what I noticed:
1. He’s wearing a pre-tied clip-on bow tie.
2. French cuffs? More like Treason cuffs!
3. The treason cuffs are entirely covered by the jacket sleeves, even when his arms are up, yet the jacke sleeves don’t show any weird bulging underneath them.
Warning: this last part is pretty creepy. She’s wearing one of those magical physics-free bras. No shoulder straps, the strap that goes behind her back is smaller than her pistol. This is because the bra was obviously added in- in other words, Chris Muir doesn’t draw half naked women, he adds “clothes: in post production.
2. French cuffs? More like Treason cuffs!
Also, the cufflinks are the eyes of his friend Damon
I don’t know about ‘Tosca’ but about halfway through ‘The Marriage of Figaro’ I wanted to kill myself.
‘Faust’ though, was a laugh riot.
I also noticed the postproduction underwear. It reminds me of what they do when they want to show ‘Showgirls’ on basic cable: add cartoon bras.
I think this “dying hard” business must be a reference to the artist’s neverending boner for his own drawings. As for the quality of his writing, let’s just say that after a man has blown multiple loads onto the weekly strip, he doesn’t have a lot of energy left over to craft dialogue distinguishable from Jeff Goldstein talking to the urine stains on his bathrobe.
well, spencer, at least Goldie Hawn never wore a bra throughout the movie.
I’m puzzled as to why she doesn’t “need” the gun anymore just because she’s married now.
Because rich conservadude moved her out of the projects when they got married so she’s no longer in a high crime location?
Because black belt, bulletproof conservadude can ably defend both of them against any would-be thieves, muggers, etc.?
Because good shepherd conservadude is nearby with his rod and his staff to comfort her?
Because no random-guy-on-the-street rapist would rape a woman infused with the saintly aura of “marriage” and “motherhood” (and who wants used goods anyway)?
Because when she was single, she needed the gun to fend off every guy she dated but didn’t want to have sex with, but now that she’s married, she doesn’t have the option of fending off her husband when she doesn’t want to have sex?
Seriously, WTF?
Shorter Chris Muir:
OK, what has to happen to get comments accepted by WordPress?
We’ll try this once more – perhaps WordPress has an ego so large it only accepts comments that mention it:
So, to summarise the message so far this week from DBD:
The reason the Taliban and Saddam haven’t invaded the USA is because conservatives get hard-ons at the sight of a woman strapping a gun to a thigh that’s bigger than her torso. As long as said conservative likes opera.
And the woman has had to take the gun holster on and off so much, she dislocates her shoulder in every other frame (or maybe that’s because they have to change artist in the middle of each frame, because they all get pissed off at drawing cartoons with no punchline).
Surely this masterpiece deserves a Pulitzer. If Kissinger can get the Nobel Peace Prize …
OK, that’s worked. WordPress is the spawn of Satan.
OT: can any Sadlies do anything with this John Stossel photo
Yes, like a proper libertarian bath toy. Or maybe the original picture already shows him playing with his favorite bath toy: an invisible hand.
Another option: Libertarian troll bait. Go real simple and just post the original image with the title “John Stossel, Libertarian Beefcake and Blowhard” or something similar. Then sit back and wait for Mona to show up and demand everyone stop making funny of John Stossel.
Dorothy, that list was hilarious, but you are overthinking this.
The reason you can’t get inside the wingnut mind is because you insist on seeing things from her point of view and considering her needs.
The gun isn’t about her, it is about providing masturbatory material to conservative men, just like everything else in the strip. When she was dating, she needed it because her boyfriends thought it was teh hawt. Now she needs it so that she can “forget” to take it off, which (for her husband) is both ego-gratifying AND hawt. She calls him a pig, not because she can see that he is a pig, but because it makes him feel masculine, keeping such a sassy wench subdued.
OT: can any Sadlies do anything with this John Stossel photo
Katherine, it just needs a caption such as “I can haz ladeez?”
Barney, make sure to copy what you write before you hit “Submit Comment”. If it fails, go back, paste the comment and try again. Rinse. Repeat as many fucking times as necessary. See? I just did it twice!
And WordPress is no John Kennedy, sir!
Ooo, Tosca, how educated! He didn’t chose that opera because it was in the video game Hitman, oh no!
1. She’s going to an opera and not wearing hosiery. I know women hate the things but wouldn’t a nice conservawife wear them if only to show she isn’t one of those feminist types?
2. No offense, but women usually take longer than guys to get dressed, especially for formal occasions. He’s going to have to stand around in a lint-attracting outfit while she finishes dressing, fixes her hair again, maybe hops into a pair of stockings since she doesn’t have to worry about the gun giving her a run, etc, etc.
I think Muir’s obsession with undressed women also explains his inability to draw them: He’s never, ever, been near a member of the opposite sex.
‘Zactly. Particularly the last sentence.
Didn’t that sad fact come out in an earlier DBD thread?
Note the frequent copy & paste of his characters in certain poses. Things like that (oddly detailed) gun can be ‘shopped in without any particular talent.
Also, WordPress eats babies. Repeat after me, control-A, control-C.
Muir’s so hip, he name-drops…Don Surber!
http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/2008/04/17/
Drawing them, yes. Hasn’t figured out what to do with the animate, I’d gather.
Found it: Righteous Bubba with the tip-off
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/8812.html#comment-528962
Control-A, control-C…
WOW! HELLO!!
http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/2008/04/19/
I once knew a very nice woman who had a crush on a guy who was very blunt about the fact that he prefered 2 dimensional women: Comic book chicks.
Don’t talk to me about odd sexual preferences.
Is it elitist to go to the Opera, or if you carry a glock and stop at Spanky’s Gravy Fry Warehouse beforehand is it Bubbariffic?
Just in case no one else bothered to explain it…
The last line is suggesting that whoever she shoots will ‘die hard’ — as in die with an erection, possibly because she had to hike up her skirt to get the gun.
To be honest, for Muir, this one was a masterpiece. It’s almost on the comic level of a throwaway line from an ’80s Bond movie. Plus he got to draw his weird anorexic contortionist woman in her underpants on every panel.
(As someone who’s done a little drawing himself, I’m most fascinated by the fact her arm lacks a bicep…it dips inward where one should be. What kind of anatomy book gave Muir the idea arms do that?)
Omg, you’re right. I guess boners and guns go together in the conservative mind.
Strangefate, the bicep is only missing on the left arm. It’s a statement about how weak and powerless the Left is.
Because, clearly, she never leaves the house alone now that she’s got the bling ring. That’s a piece of cake compared with trying to figure out what the fuck he’s getting at in that last panel. I especially love the playful smirk on the RealDoll(tm)’s face as she calls him on his doucebaggery. Ah, yes, only a humorless feminist would find a necrophiliesque dick joke anything less than hilarious.
Disregard what I said about Muir not drawing:
I was right about the copypasta.
Honey, have you seen my gun? Sigh No, honey. My evening gun.
Men!
For the Stossel photo:
in 72-point Impact, the words
INVISIBLE
HAND JOB
Diapers.
Prostitutes.
Meth.
Guys in bathrooms.
Guys passed out drunk.
Don’t forget the double wetsuits
And minors. Won’t someone think of the children?
Ew. I just grossed myself out.
I learned from that cartoon what I learn from every “Day by Day.” Chris Muir blows.
I just can’t help but look.
It’s so stupid. And so bad. And so unfunny.
Couldn’t let it go anymore.
Is it Muirian dogwhistle? Is it an inside joke amongst them?
Or is it…is it the stupidest pile of steaming wingnut proto-intellectual anti-clever out-and-out bullshit ever served up in the history of time?
My money’s on all three.
i’m sure “day by day” must be uproariously funny for the pure of thought and ideologically committed, but for me it’s just a WTF moment.
perhaps the comics section of pravda was like this?
Maybe, she used to date John Wilkes Booth and he is now stalking her.
Also, for some reason, if there is humor there, i think it somehow lies in the fact that she now has a new habit of some sort.
Finally, we should set up a pay pal account and commission Paul Mooney to fix all of Muirs “comic” strips.
Yes, I did just use scare quotes, and I am not ashamed. So back the fuck off.
Cur
Firstly, in regards to your fourth point: presumably her (presumably black) attacker/rapist would have already done most of that work for her.
Secondly, have you ever drawn a semi-undressed woman? It can be quite delightful. That is all.
[…] Or Chris Muir’s idea about where those crazy ladies keep their Glocks so they’ll be eas… […]
[…] Or Chris Muir’s idea about where those crazy ladies keep their Glocks so they’ll be eas… […]
Is Stossel rapping in that photo??
When I followed the links to those DBD comics, there was an ad underneath the strips for something called JerkStopper.
there was an ad underneath the strips for something called JerkStopper.
Isn’t that when your mom catches you?
mikey
““Not just old habits.” What is that supposed to allude to?”
Nuns?
I think he’s talking about Tosca, does someone take a long time dying in that? Then why does she say pig. Did she think he was saying old habits meaning her over sized thighs? In which case she could say pig and then plug him with the Glock.
Or is the loss of his motor functions because he has clip on tie but still has to fiddle about with it and she says pig like a Tourettes thing.
Or maybe he saying that she always takes a long time to get dressed and he is always dressed first in which case she should plug him.
damned if I know what the hell it about.
Isn’t that when your mom catches you?
Well, the mouseover said something about computer cables being suddenly yanked out . . . So yeah, it’s when your mom walks in and you accidentally topple the computer off the desk trying to hide what you were doing.
Chris Muir is a master of ‘phantom humor,’ such as the kind found in Marmaduke. It seems there might be a joke there, but it cannot be detected by any normal humor-detecting instruments.
“Not just old habits.” == Sister Mary Superior is gangrenous in a closet?
“Old habits die hard” == I hope I die from a Viagra overdose
This makes me want to read Garfield.
Ah, he draws it in Illustrator. This explains the circular blend in the boobs — it’s easy to do in Illustrator. The gun seems to be clip art. I’m not sure why he didn’t resize it to a realistic proportion, but perhaps he spends as much time with real guns as he does with real gals.
[…] suck the same but, at the very least, a warning of "Non Sequitur ahead" would explain what was to follow. Whacking Material would have also been a suitable […]