Tricorner Foil Hats and Genocide Apologia


I really hope they wash their hands after writing this crap.

Robert Weissberg, American Klansmen:
When it Comes to Race, Why Worry About Facts?

It’s been strangely quiet this summer on the wingnut front. Sure, there is the standard level of stupid and the usual checklist of sexism, racism, classism, and homophobia, but it’s all sort of boiled down into flavorless pablum as if a British cook has taken over the talking points.

And it’s not like there haven’t been ample opportunities to go as vile as possible. The Hobby Lobby decision handing their dreams of marrying corporate oligarchy to religion as state, the usual stream of shooting sprees, Elliot Rodgers. But the output has been dull for the most part, content to just recycle the same old tired litany of half-remembered conspiracy theories and dog whistles before going on vacation to some slightly colder seaside town recently unthawed from the melting ice (which is totally something else’s fault, just like the economy).

And while zero effort affairs may be just fine for a wingnut audience who only need the thinnest of excuses to hate on their favorite targets, it does pose a bit of a problem for those of us who depend on a delicate ecosystem of snark and ridicule.

Though… that being said, there is something to mine from this fetid swamp, though perhaps in slightly shorter sojourns where we don’t have to pack in an entire day’s rations and a spare biohazard suit.

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • It is absolutely shameful that those shifty niggers are so lazy and uncaring of their plight that they seem to have completely failed to single-handedly defeat our racist criminal system and society, fix our broken economy, and magically make jobs and career advancement out of thin air. This pathetic failure proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that we whites who support a punitive and brutal system of oppression are the truly deserving and intelligent.

It is actually impressive that wingnuts have found ways to make their Klan memberships less subtle than when they openly invited white power groups to their Teabagger confabs. At this point, I feel we’re no more than a year or two away from some prominent right-winger trying to pass off a white hood as a proud piece of cultural heritage.

Also, I have to love this mango for having some of the slowest softballs to ever drift lazily over the plate.

Going a step further, there seems to be little interest in publicly discussing the work ethic as a source of chronic unemployment (and in academic achievement, as well). The very possibility that some Americans are habitually lazy and prefer the dole immediately kills inquiry. Who wants to hear such slander?

But passing by the obvious rejoinder, I just have to ask if anyone else heard the last line like a singer at a concert trying to pump up the crowd before the band’s latest hit single. But instead of leading into a raucous chorus of fist-pumping adrenaline, it’s some jackass in his Axis Powers Hetalia cosplay hoping the idiots of the world will still hate the existence of blacks enough to forget that this economy is actively pummeling their backside like a cocaine-addicted chimpanzee on a rampage.

So what else is on our little inlet of sorrow and hatred?

Fay Voshell, American Invader:
A Plague on All Houses

Hey, funky fresh liberals, you may think that you support the humane treatment of immigrants, because of pesky things like empathy, mutualism, a belief that people do not cease being human if they are born in another country, or you are painfully aware of our sordid history destroying a fair amount of countries leaving a lot of people who need a fresh start and have no where else to go.

But did you know that conservatives have finally seen through all that blah blah blah feelings talk to your real secret plot?

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • Allowing immigration, which is a liberal plot to eradicate the border, by the way, is in itself a secret plot to destroy us all in a literal Bubonic Plague.

Cause you know, just winking and nodding after comparing the huddled masses yearning to be free to disease is just too subtle for the caretakers left in the movement. So instead, the brown horde that is clearly pouring over the walls like the bugs from Starship Troopers are a literal plague event that will suddenly spawn all manner of horrifying illness and death, because apparently in wingnut land, white tourists flying in or coming back from some foreign country are impossible to infect with any known virus, owing to the inherent cleanliness of white skin.

On the contrary, the unintended consequences of liberals’ open border policies will be made deathly clear. Disease knows no boundaries, no class system, no hierarchy. It is a universal leveler of humanity.

And I think the saddest, most telling thing there is that the notion of humanity being made “equal” in some regard is more terrifying a scare point than the notion of literally dying from horrible unstoppable pestilence.

Oh hey, on that fear, I wonder if that whole Obamacare thing the wingnuts are always trying to destroy might have some effect in reducing the delay between onset and treatment as well as aid immunization efforts? Nah.

Wait. What’s that on the shore?

Bruce Deitrick Price, American Tinfoil Hat Collection Service:
The K-12 Conspiracy

It’s shiny. It’s metal. It’s…

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • School is literally a liberal mind-control plot.

… It’s too beautiful. Can’t muster the snark to resist… Must admire paranoia…

One result of this K-12 conspiracy is that the least appropriate people, obsessed with the least helpful ideas, educationally speaking, migrated to education. These were people who valued education not for its own sake, but for social schemes they had in mind. Whether a kid can read, do arithmetic, or knows very much is not a primary concern for these people.

It’s certainly why I and every teacher I know got into teaching. Why else would we agree to working for poverty wages and receiving nearly no social regard or support? I mean, who needs to eat or pay rent when you have the opportunity to brainwash 7 year olds into your own private death army?

Bow, fools! Bow before… THE TEACHER!


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. I haven’t turned to going mad now that the World Cup has robbed me of a blissful distraction from my current situation. How could you and the talking fish utter such foul lies? We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

 

Comments: 67

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First in war!
First in peace!!
First in the hands of the local police!!!

FIRST1111!!!1!

 
 


Going a step further, there seems to be little interest in publicly discussing the work ethic as a source of chronic unemployment (and in academic achievement, as well). The very possibility that some Americans are habitually lazy and prefer the dole immediately kills inquiry. Who wants to hear such slander?

Their ability to treat the conventional wisdom of the entire political, media and business class as if it were the fringe opinion of a marginalized few, desperately battling to make themselves heard above the fray… continues to impress.

One result of this K-12 conspiracy is that the least appropriate people, obsessed with the least helpful ideas, educationally speaking, migrated to education. These were people who valued education not for its own sake, but for social schemes they had in mind. Whether a kid can read, do arithmetic, or knows very much is not a primary concern for these people..

“And on the third day, got created the Remington bolt action rifle, so that man could fight the dinosaurs.”
“And the Homo Sekshals.”
“AMEN!”

 
 

Going a step further, there seems to be little interest in publicly discussing the work ethic as a source of chronic unemployment

Yeah, those lazy black people sure kept those industrious slave owners down!

What, you mean Glenn Beck actually believes that Cleon Skousen bullshit?

 
 

On the contrary, the unintended consequences of liberals’ open border policies will be made deathly clear. Disease knows no boundaries, no class system, no hierarchy. It is a universal leveler of humanity.

Lying liars lie… money quote:

The immunization rate in 2012 for measles for children aged 12 to 23 months was higher in Nicaragua at 99 percent, and El Salvador, Guatemala and Honduras at 93 percent than the 92 percent rate in the United States, according to the World Bank data.

 
 

These were people who valued education not for its own sake, but for social schemes they had in mind. Whether a kid can read, do arithmetic, or knows very much is not a primary concern for these people.

It’s always projection!

Alright, three comments in a row… time to knock off for a bit.

 
 

work ethic as a source of chronic unemployment

Work ethic causes chronic unemployment? In a broader sense, about the construction of the economy, I suppose it does..

(and in academic achievement, as well)

Warning, ungrammatical construct, cannot parse parenthetical. Stack overflow.

 
 

FOIL! Also makes a nice hat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-0TEJMJOhk

 
 

Wot, no comment on Louis Gohmert’s assertion that those horrible immigrants Want Our (White) Wimmen?

 
 

Just wait until I activate my Siblinghood of Evil Middle Schoolers on the fools who just sold my division. Education publishing isn’t profitable?! Ha ha ha ha!
(They called me mad. I’ll show them mad.)

 
 

A few days ago I received a press release about the HORRIBLE DEATH TB PLAGUE that is oozing over the border from a doctor who is also – not surprisingly – the past president of some organization for libertarian doctors.

I have to wonder how many of these dumbstains would be here to shriek about Disease-Ridden Foreigners if the U.S. had sealed its borders to all immigrants because of disease back in the 1800s.

 
 

I have to wonder how many of these dumbstains would be here to shriek about Disease-Ridden Foreigners if the U.S. had sealed its borders to all immigrants because of disease back in the 1800s.

it seems to me that many of these dumbstains have no problem with the government spreading disease to the natives via small pox infested blankets…

 
 

I just have to ask if anyone else heard the last line [who wants to hear such slander?] like a singer at a concert trying to pump up the crowd before the band’s latest hit single.

Well-nailed, o blogger. There’s always an enthusiastic audience for that number, and they don’t much care how well it’s played, so long as it’s played loudly and often.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

I read it a la the NFL intro, “Are you ready for some football slander.”

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Speaking of parsing errors, Cause you know, just winking and nodding after comparing the huddled masses yearning to be free to disease is just too subtle for the caretakers left in the movement. has “disease” been verbed?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

The early morning spam (as opposed to mid morning spam, late morning spam, etc) from GOPUSA is “FEMA hates this bracelet.” It’s free! you only pay shipping! It has a whistle!

 
 

Dear lord, protect us from the Plague, the Comet, and the Troll.

 
 

The right-wing media machine must have decided on the “Eeek! Diseased immigrants!” meme early on because they’ve all been pushing the same message.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Lou Dobbs was pushing that “Messicans gots leprosy” line back when he was still on CNN.

 
 

Never mind that leprosy is only a little more contagious than diabetes. It sounds scary! [Flap flap!]

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Not only does it sound scary, it sounds biblical.

OMG, end times!!!

 
 

One result of this K-12 conspiracy is that the least appropriate people, obsessed with the least helpful ideas, educationally speaking, migrated to education. These were people who valued education not for its own sake, but for social schemes they had in mind. Whether a kid can read, do arithmetic, or knows very much is not a primary concern for these people.

Oh good grief. We have a conservative movement that objects to public schools. That tells you all you need to know about who’s concerned whether Johnny can read. And of course education is about socializing people, one way or another.

The only “helpful idea” they have is that education should revert to a class-based system … I’ve argued with my mom about this stuff. She’s really impressed with a charter school that a relative’s kid goes to. OK fine, how do we offer that to other kids, poor kids? Oh you see, there’s a lottery to get in. Me: if there’s one thing I know about lotteries it’s that not everyone can win. So what they’re accomplishing is nothing new — they’re (ostensibly) providing a good education to a subset of kids. At the macro level, this will amount to a class-based system, period. Old as the hills, but with tech. The lower classes will be socialized differently, too, and their choices will be limited to class-appropriate schools.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Oh good grief. We have a conservative movement that objects to public schools

And if they can’t get of the schools, they’ll stop them from teaching anything useful.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

That’s right, I blame the god who does not exist. Someone isn’t quite clear on the concept, here.

 
 

More tears are shed over answered than unanswered prayers.

 
 

“According to Capehart, the culprits were not a culture tolerating indolent work habits but red-lining and restrictive covenants, the departure of manufacturing and commerce, underfunded minority schools, racial profiling, discriminatory drug enforcement laws, and the debilitating effects of a “cycle of incarceration.” Most important, according to Capehart, was that all of these policies were imposed by government itself”

Like Cerberus often points out, these right-wingers are not shy about completely refuting their own arguments within the body of their posts. How bizarre.

Why yes, Mr. Weissberg, clearly that host of problems has nothing to do with the problem. Your hypothesis of shifty laziness must be the only answer. *eyeroll*

 
 

Well, this is all so very… depressing. So, I’ll leave a cat pixel to brighten this dark corner, once again. ;)
.

 
 

Whether a kid can read, do arithmetic, or knows very much is not a primary concern for these people.
Bruce Deitrick Price

— founder of The Bruce Deitrick Price School for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Want to Do Other Stuff Good Too

 
 

Tuesday night, my cat, Smudge, did not come for supper when I called. I looked around outside but could not find her. She and I have been together for all her 16 years. She has been my close and sometimes only companion for all that time. We could communicate in English and a bit of Cat. There was a very real bond from both sides and she is frequently the only one I talk to for days.
At about 10 pm I heard a noise on the stoep. I went out and she was lying there. Her face was full of blood and she had an open wound on her back. I carried her inside and put her next to the heater in case of shock. She couldn’t walk and was obviously in pain and shock. I sat with her all night until I could call the vet in the morning. The vet came round and took her. Apparently, she was hit by a car. Broken nose, jaw, shoulder, extreme shock. He said she would need a specialist to set bones which would cost thousands and was still totally in shock. I thought of the weeks in pain and shock from operations etc.and decided to let the vet euthanise her.
Now, I feel the guilt of letting my best friend die and the deep mourning for her company. Please, believe me, Smudge, it wasn’t the money. Oh God,No.

 
 

Very personal tl;dr

 
 

Know that 16 years of love is an incredible life for a kitteh, and peace be unto you.
.

 
 

Poor cat, poor Suezboo … at least you got to see her and care for her at the end.

 
 

Suez,

Very sorry to hear about Smudge. Listen, though:

You did the right thing. Don’t beat yourself up about this. Weeks and perhaps months of pain and shock is right and an older animal doesn’t need that at that point in her life. You guys had a great run, and she understands. You did the right thing.

 
 

— founder of The Bruce Deitrick Price School for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Want to Do Other Stuff Good Too

zoolander? is that you?

 
 

Thanks, JR, I needed someone to tell me that. Sincerely appreciate all the support.

 
 

oh suez…wish i was there to give you unending hugs…

 
 

Oh, suezboo, that’s horrible. As a wise man (hint: it’s smut) told me about the loss of a beloved cat- It’s the downside of our deal with the kitties.

Sending empathy waves {{{{

 
 

Now, I feel the guilt of letting my best friend die and the deep mourning for her company. Please, believe me, Smudge, it wasn’t the money. Oh God,No.

We had that same agonizing decision about our beloved fifteen year old mouser last August. He had an inoperable tumor in his mouth, and had lost an alarming amount of weight.

It’s a gut-wrenching choice, but I think you should always land on the side of cessation of suffering. I just have to note that Smudge’s effort to return to you to bid farewell was nothing short of heroic.

 
 

Deepest sympathy, Suezboo.

 
 

I’m so sorry for you and your cat. It’s very hard to lose the furry members of our families.

 
 

Terribly sorry Suezboo. Still, I think you did the right thing. Your last duty to Smudge was to release her from her suffering.

 
 

Work ethic is some grade A horse shit. ‘Work ethic’ is what the bosses of the world use to keep workers shackled to a dead end job once poverty stops doing the trick. ‘Work ethic’ is for the vanishing few jobs that need doing 24/7 and don’t pay enough to hire the 3-5 people it takes to do the job right. Like dairy farming. Farmers without ‘work ethic’ go bankrupt. Farmers with work ethic last a year or two longer before ADM or Monsanto prices them out of business or sues them out of business. Work ethic is a whip made out of words, used by people too lazy or too scared to swing an actual whip. Work ethic is an appeal to the inherent dignity of doing a job with diligence and pride of workmanship, applied to mopping floors or working at a call center or making french fries; i.e. jobs that are so unpleasant that only the most desperate will take them. Work ethic never made anyone rich, especially not the people who got rich publicly bemoaning the decline of work ethic among the young, the immigrants and the minorities, and especially among those people that just got downsized or had their jobs offshored or automated out of existence.

 
 

^+1million

 
 

Helmut, you remind me of this dialog in G.B. Shaws Man and Superman, Act II

STRAKER. Never you mind him, Mr Robinson. He likes to talk. We know him, dont we?

OCTAVIUS [earnestly] But theres a great truth at the bottom of what he says. I believe most intensely in the dignity of labor.

STRAKER [unimpressed] Thats because you never done any, Mr Robinson. My business is to do away with labor. Youll get more out of me and a machine than you will out of twenty laborers, and not so much to drink either.

 
 

The last thing the propagandists of the world want is a worker with an honest-to-god honest work ethic. They don’t want a worker who asks himself or herself and the boss if the work is ethical and won’t do it if it isn’t, and who will happily call OSHA or the EPA or the SEC on the way out the door, if the situation warrants it. Nobody seems to be hiring and promoting realtors that make sure the customer can afford what they’re buying, or sales staff that refuses to sell shoddy goods or worthless extended warranties.

They don’t want a work ethic, they want an ignorant workaholic perfectionist. They’re cheaper than robots, because they don’t need programming, they don’t need power, they don’t need maintenance, especially if they are doing the work at a deniable distance in an overseas sweatshop. And when they break, there’s 20 more at the factory door desperate to do the job.

 
 

Suezboo: you did the right thing. I’ve been there (with my dogs). And I even actually had the money and paid for all the expensive care to try to fix them, and then that doesn’t even work and they die anyway and then you feel terrible for inflicting all that extra suffering on them for nothing.

It’s lose-lose.

RIP Smudge.

 
 

As the author of the history notes on the first “Axis Powers Hetalia” DVD (as well as for the last several volumes of the English-language manga release) I would like to state for the record that I doubt a whole lot that any Teabagger ever would deign to watch any of that “Jap crap”, because (a) made in Japan, and (b) America is made fun of. (Of course EVERY country is made fun of, but I am sure that to the brethren on the right, this is something up with which they will not put)

 
 

“hell, I worked HARD all my life!”

This proves nothing except that a man is a God-damned fool.

-Bukowski

 
 

Suez:

Please accept this big hug via the internet. I’m so sorry about your friend.

I know you and because I know you I know you made the right choice for Smudge. Smudge came back to you because you were the person who could make that choice. That doesn’t make it easier. For that I’m sorry.

 
 

Well, leave it to the Sadly commentariat to help me through a personal crisis. You guys sure this is Just Another Lefty Snark Blog ?
Thanks a mill, everyone.

 
 

okay, the casey kasem thing is getting weirder…

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Just had a beer with Major Kong and N__B. Had a swell time and will try to arrange something for Monday (my day off).

 
 

Some day, you bastards, I will have a beer with you, or at least have a tonic water. That sounds real nice.

 
 

I had a great time.

 
 

I had a great time.

oh, rub it in, why don’t you? i hope you all properly chastised n_b for leaving us…

 
 

Awww suzebo. Sorry for your loss.

Re Work Ethic; wot Helmut M sed, also, slack smarter not harder.

 
 

i hope you all properly chastised n_b for leaving us…

he’s only a click away…

 
 

Suezboo, our condolences. Ooh, have we been there. Four times so far, and only a matter of time for the current fur buddies. I remember a vet saying to us, “We show our animals the compassion we would never allow ourselves.” Along with the opposable thumbs and the ability to procure beer comes the hefty responsibility of being the one who says when. But along with the food, skritchies, vaccinations, and feathers on strings, our buddies also rely on us to stop the suffering when they can’t sign the forms.

My mom lost her superannuated cat, who had been through adventures and injuries and near-fatal kidney trouble and the breakup of her marriage and had sailed through it all with aplomb, to an accident in the wake of a devastating hurricane. They were friends and family all rolled into one, and my mom humanned up and did what needed to be done. It’s never less than agony, and it’s part of our agreement with Gaia that we’ll take care of our friends as diligently as they’ve chewed our shoes, pooped on our sofas, and rolled over all silly just to see us laugh.

I think if you were to ask Smudge if she thought it was the money, she would say, “What, you mean that shiny crap I used to knock off the dresser and watch with a somewhat disdainful expression while Suezboo picked it up? Those weren’t cat toys?”

Hugs.

 
 

Some day, you bastards, I will have a beer with you, or at least have a tonic water. That sounds real nice.

Come up to New York City for a spell. Hell, come up next Tuesday for a lecture on bioluminescence in marine creatures. First round’s on me!

 
 

oh, rub it in, why don’t you? i hope you all properly chastised n_b for leaving us…

He’s been swamped for the last four months. The city has mandated a check of old warehouse roofs, and he is the go-to guy for structural engineering for older buildings. Just walking from the The Paris Cafe to the Fulton St “4″ station, Ned was able to point out all sorts of architectural features in the older buildings (as well as the lingering damage from Sandy). Ned and the Major continued on to the World Trade Center while I hopped the train to the Bronx, so I could get my ass to work.

 
 

Oh, suez, as a friend & roommate of cats for all but the last few yrs. of a longish life I’m in complete sympathy, empathy & everything else possible.

 
 

Weird Al.

Weird Al is a national treasure. I even like his straight polka jams. He tends to put one on every album.

My all time favorite Weird Al track spoofs a genre, not a particular song.

 
 

That’s a date B^4. Will let ya know when I’m headed up that way.

 
 

That’s a date B^4. Will let ya know when I’m headed up that way.

Groovy! The one caveat is that my “weekend” is typically Monday and Tuesday. Getting good and buzzed on a Monday afternoon is not a bad thing at all, though.

 
 

I remember a vet saying to us, “We show our animals the compassion we would never allow ourselves.”
You mean we’re not allowed to euthanase humans? Oops.

 
Consumer Unit 5012
 

That’s awful about your cat. I think you did the right thing.

“If someone tells you that they became rich by hard work, ask them ‘whose?’.”

 
 
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