“This is my weapon, this is my gun. One is an ugly instrument of death, the other is an automatic rifle.”

Now there is a tragic fire arms accident looking to happen. The only question is whether the gun is pointed up or down when is accidentally goes off. Also, did anyone point out to him that that is an actual communist gun?

So even one random photo reveals that he doesn’t know the first thing about handling one of those, as even his fan commenters start pointing out. Pretty funny to read them, along the lines of “Aside from the fact that you look like a dangerous idiot who doesn’t know the first thing about firearms… great! Wolverines! Various amendments!”

At least some his commenters were clear-headed enough to call him out for running around with his finger on the trigger of a high-powered rifle…

Still not sure what the one who yelled ‘GET SOME!!!’ was talking about. That phrase means something else entirely in my neck of the woods

Now a fan is trying to claim that his finger is on the trigger guard, not the trigger. Let’s see, some fancy kerning forensic pixel analysis is in order here – or you could just enlarge the picture slightly and verify that nope, sorry, his finger is firmly on the trigger itself.

I’d bet money that the photo on his site will soon be ‘shopped to look like it’s not though.

I think you all would understand Mr. Hoft better if you realized that the average rock is smarter than he.
~

I like to plink with .22s or somesuch. Fun. “Bang!” and then things jump off the fence rail or whatever. It’s been years since I’ve done it, prolly want to shoot some cans and bottles with my son sometime.

I’m no expert, haven’t had any formal training, etc.

BUT.

My first thought was: “He’s holding that rifle in a very stupid dangerous fashion.”

One of his commentators, who apparently owns a shooting range, said she would cut off his hand if he did that at her range.

What a fucking maroon.

Still not sure what the one who yelled ‘GET SOME!!!’ was talking about. That phrase means something else entirely in my neck of the woods

May still be in effect among foot soldiers, but I believe first came into use in Vietnam, soldiers using this as an euphemism for “killkillkill.”

Those of you with recent service may be able to update or clarify.

I started to write that Mikhail Kalashnikov would be turning over in his grave if he knew who was waving his guns around nowadays—but oops! He’s still alive at 91.

One of his commentators, who apparently owns a shooting range, said she would cut off his hand if he did that at her range.

Shania law!

And, soullite, I like your usage better.

Yes, I do.

Shania law!

Man, I feel like a woman…should not be allowed to be allowed to go out in public without a male escort.

is it hot in here or is the vomit now covering me really warm?

SWIBCFOT

should not be allowed to be allowed

That sentence needs to be cut in twain.

Excellent joke otherwise, but you stepped on the delivery. I keep telling my Fedex guy the same thing.

He was pooping his pants when that picture was taken, I can tell. Dudeskull looks that kind of happy when he finally goes poo.

I like to plink with .22s or somesuch.

Hell, I even own a .41 magnum for camping in the mountains in grizzly country around here. Like a lot of gun fetishist conservaloons, he does not know the first thing about firearms (and I am far from an expert, though I can mostly hit the broad side of a barn), except that they make his dick seem much bigger. Almost visible, even.

Ah! I blame the fact that I’m barely awake right now.

“M. O. O. N.—that spells ‘friendly fire’.”

Yeah, I know I’m wearing that out, but I can’t restrain myself whenever there’s a picture of that gomer up there.

Dudeskull looks that kind of happy when he finally goes poo.

All men do. You obviously don’t spend enough time hanging out in men’s toilets.

Like a lot of gun fetishist conservaloons, he does not know the first thing about firearms, except that they make his dick seem much bigger.

Doc – every moment you spend thinking about Hoft’s dick is a moment you never get back.

“All men do. You obviously don’t spend enough time hanging out in men’s toilets.”

I’m not a republican, N_B.

I was out this afternoon celebrating my 2nd Amendment rights.

He joined a well-regulated militia?

Me, I’m celebrating my 3rd amendment rights.

I’m more of a 21st amendment man, myself.

Me, I’m celebrating my 3rd amendment rights.

Personally, I am celebrating my 13th amendment rights while I still have them, before the SCOTUS figures out how to say those rights only apply to corporations, who are thus exempt from regulation and taxes.

Which amendment gives me the right to sit on my couch drinking Red Bull and procrastinating? I am celebrating that one.

See my last comment.

Which amendment gives me the right to sit on my couch drinking Red Bull and procrastinating?

That would be the 9th and possibly the 19th amendments.

Yes, it’s not a celebration of our nation’s birthday until some of the Gateway Dumbfuck’s commenters start making jokes about shooting liberals, the president, etc.

Yes, it’s not a celebration of our nation’s birthday until some of the Gateway Dumbfuck’s commenters start making jokes about shooting liberals, the president, etc.

Nothing says PATRIOTISM! ™ like advocating treason.

This may just be nitpicking but why a Kalashnikov? The weapon of evil commies the world over? Why the hell isn’t he holding an American gun? M16 isn’t good enough for him?

Nothing says love of country like the desire to kill most of the people in it.

Someone who isn’t banned do me a favor and go drop this link in Dumbshit’s comments: http://3weirdsisters.com/2010/07/04/happy-independence-day-whatever-that-means/#comments

Because celebrating independence day for ME means “getting the bufords worked up into a lather.”

M16 isn’t good enough for him?

Perhaps he prefers a well-designed weapon.

Perhaps he prefers a well-designed weapon.

There you go again with your socialistical propaganda. Every True American(tm) knows that Free Market(tm) products are always superior to socialistical communist ones.

Did anyone notice Dumbfuck’s title for that post?

Celebrating Independence Day – Happy Constitutional Weekend

Italics are mine.

Yes, that’s right – the Gateway Dumbfuck thinks that Independence Day has something to do with the writing of the constitution. Which of course didn’t come until over a decade later and which wasn’t signed or enacted on July 4.

BREAKING: Wisconsin’s conservative bloggers to take the day off work to celebrate being able to carry a penis substitute in their pants!

I especially enjoyed the photo of his fat ass sprawled on his patio behind a sniper rifle.
Gotta admit—one look at those white shorts would probably stop an invading force in its tracks. At least the laughter would slow them down some.

There you go again with your socialistical propaganda.

Not true! This is hanging in my bathroom.

Which of course didn’t come until over a decade later and which wasn’t signed or enacted on July 4.

Was it over when the British bombed Pearl Harbor?!

to celebrate being able to carry a penis substitute in their pants!

There was a law against strap-on dildos?

Shorter most-commenters-on-gateway-as-a-rule:

“If it be treason to want to shoot kenyans and libtards for having limited success in a legal political process shown to work very well over 200 years or so, so that we can preserve corporate subsidies that my 7th grade education will never qualify me to get unless Great 2cd Uncle Derp dies and leaves me his still and learjet, well then I am redder (stater) than a baboon’s ass. Or something. C. Thomas Howell is the greatest American actor ever and stuff!!!1! ”

Happy 4th, y’all! Have fun with the boomaboombooms!

There was a law against strap-on dildos?

In Alabama, there still is.

“Perhaps he prefers a well-designed weapon.”

Well again not to nit pick but the AR-15 (the parent of the M-16) was a very well designed weapon. As detailed in James Fallows book “National Defense” the Army insisted on changes, the worst of which was the use of slow burning powder (which by some chance manufactured by a major defense contractor) which had the effect of increasing the speed of the bullet so it wouldn’t start to tumble on impact (making it less deadly), and increasing the chance of fouling and increasing the rate of fire past what the system was designed for which led to the rifle jamming a lot. They have since fixed some of the problems but I understand they are still using the same powder.

“I would prefer to have invented a machine that people could use and that would help farmers with their work – for example a lawnmower.”

Mikhail Kalashnikov

Well again not to nit pick

Your nit is well picked: I agree. I was referring to the general reputations of the M16 and the AK47 in terms of reliability.

Impervious to criticism or reflection:

Wait until the autumn of 2012: Bammy boy foments a crisis, giving him an excuse to declare martial law. We won’t seem impotent then, you libdem troll.

October surprise!

Well let’s see. “The government” has M-1 tanks, Apache gunships and Predator drones. I don’t think they’re going to be all that impressed by his AK-47.

Do these guys think Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are going to personally show up on their doorstep to oppress them?

We won’t seem impotent then, you libdem troll.

So….they’re impotent now? TMI, man, TMI.

Also, too: nothing says veneration of “freedom” and our “inalienable rights” like censoring comments from those who disagree with you, while approving of those gleefully advocating murder of the president and your fellow citizens.

I went to a shooting range once as research for a book and shot off a bunch of bullets from — I think — an M16, or at least a version of it that was legal in Vegas (srsly). Heard all my life about the great thrill of automatic weapons, the sense of power, yadda yadda yadda. Imagine my surprise to find that it was somewhat less thrilling, even at the top rate of fire, than using a staple gun. At least with the staple gun you have something like a new curtain to show for it when you’re done.

We won’t seem impotent then, you libdem troll.

They never really seemed impotent so much, as completely Ken-like.

Do these guys think Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are going to personally show up on their doorstep to oppress them?

Yes, right after a 20 minute monologue laying out the entire plot.

We won’t seem impotent then, you libdem troll.

Internet Tough Guy™ is tough.

I stopped going to my local shooting range when a father and his son, who looked to be maybe 12 years old were shooting a (semi automatic) AK-47 in the lane next to me.

The AK jammed while the kid was shooting it. The kid turned around doing the “Hey dad there’s something wrong with this thing!” while swinging the muzzle directly at me.

It happened so fast that I just stood there with the deer-in-the-headlights look.

There was a law against strap-on dildos?
Only if they were concealed, which as we all know is an absolute abrogation of everything the founding fathers believed in.

The AK jammed while the kid was shooting it. The kid turned around doing the “Hey dad there’s something wrong with this thing!” while swinging the muzzle directly at me.

It happened so fast that I just stood there with the deer-in-the-headlights look.

Good grief.

It happened so fast that I just stood there with the deer-in-the-headlights look.

These are the people who thinkthis is just good clean fun. In the interests of full disclosure, I think I saw some of my relatives in there.

Did you guys see this stuff about the Rochester police arresting a woman for merely filming an arrest in her neighborhood? I drunkblogged it last night, but took it down. But it’s definitely worth checking out. And the worst part–IMO–wasn’t the arrest, but the petty shit that followed. That looks an awful lot like an attempt to intimidate Emily Good and her supporters to me.

Con: Hey Libs look at me! I got an AK! Fear Me!
Lib: Your family, friends, and squirrels everywhere, also too!

You know, I would fear them if I didn’t suspect that were they granted their fondest wish and the US were plunged into some sort of race/civil war, they’d be the ones crapping their pants in fear.

If I saw this gomer on the shooting range I would look for cover. Who wants to give odds on him having a Plexico-like incident in a year or so.

Lib: Your family, friends, and squirrels everywhere, also too!

I doubt that the squirrels have much to fear since he would be “aiming” at them. Everyone and everything else within range, however, should definitely find cover.

VS, you got that right. Most of these internet tough guys would be absolutely worthless when the shit hits the fan.

Shorter Steven Hayward, Phd Claremont Graduate School for Oppressed College Republicans:

What Michele Should Have Said to George

Michele Bachmann, JD Unaccredited Defunct School of Law, should have told George Stephanopolous that if he didn’t go to a crap school like Columbia he would’ve been taught that the Constitution outlawed slavery.

I’ve never bought the argument that gun ownership were the best vaccine against authoritarian government because, 1.) government’s primary job is the maintenance of supreme force in an area of land, and experience indicates to me that professionals are better than most amateurs, and 2.) because the people who most loudly make this argument seem (and this is of course biased and subjective) to be the ones cheering authoritarianism should it ever arrive, at least if it were wrapped in the Flag and carrying a Cross.

“Authoritarian personality type, ‘follower’ subclass” I think is the term.

Plainly the subject of this post is by no means the swiftest yacht in the regatta.

Trigger discipline fail plus EPIC patriotism fail Voguing On The 4th Of July with a Soviet assault rifle equals …PROFIT?????

Why didn’t Jimbo just openly blow a big long greenish-yellow ribbon of snot out onto Old Glory too, & go for the Trifecta?

Michele Bachmann, JD Unaccredited Defunct School of Law, should have told George Stephanopolous that if he didn’t go to a crap school like Columbia he would’ve been taught that the Constitution outlawed slavery.

Also that 900 foot Jesus demands that you give all your money to the founder of said defunct law school.

the odds that this gentleman would post something as ahistorical as “happy constitutional weekend” on july 4th, WHEN JUST BEING ACCURATE would have better made his actual point (after all, the declaration of independence was genuinely revolutionary, which is what his and his followers lizard brains are after, n’est-ce pas?)…

1:1

those were the odds, even before he did the stupid.

now, what about odds that in an attempt to look macho he would do something stupid like hold his finger on the trigger of a weapon?

1:1

shorter me: dumbshit posted some dumb shit.

I’ve never bought the argument that gun ownership were the best vaccine against authoritarian government because,

Not to mention tanks, an airforce, and nuclear weapons. Ask the Libyans how well small arms do up against real military ordnance.

Again, I beg the assistance of someone, anyone, who hasn’t already been banned from posting comments at Gateway Dumbfuck: please, please work this link cleverly into a post, so that I may increase not only the traffic of painfully stupid people to my blog, but also so that I may increase their butthurt.

Most of these internet tough guys would be absolutely worthless when the shit hits the fan.

Less than worthless. Thug-wannabes are liabilities.

In crisis or combat situations, a Rambo/Emo mentality is an excellent way to court disaster. No way to correctly assess or respond to your environment when you’re busy waving your surrogate PENIS around & being brave.

900 foot Jesus demands that you give all your money to the founder of said defunct law school

Offer your firstborn son before Labor Day for a one-year supply of FREE Happy Meals™!

Wait until the autumn of 2012: Bammy boy foments a crisis, giving him an excuse to declare martial law. We won’t seem impotent then, you libdem troll.

Ooh, we should definitely book mark it.

And jim, “Voguing On The 4th Of July” is too perfect a description of that picture.

As for me, I’m spending the day celebrating Pickett’s Charge.

yes, jim, that was so perfect that I borrowed it for the new blog post. With full credit given, of course.

Again, I beg

Anon jim delivers: http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2011/07/celebrating-independence-day-happy-constitutional-weekend/#comment-379908

Anon jim delivers: http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2011/07/celebrating-independence-day-happy-constitutional-weekend/#comment-379908

Insdeleted!
.

Wingnuts of Earth! Stop confusing your gun fetish for patriotism!

Dictators and fascists never grab the guns first. A printing press is far more dangerous to them. By the time it’s down to shooting, the bad guys have already won.

It’s right there in the constitution you claim to love so much. The first amendment comes before the second for a reason.

This happened in CT a couple years ago.

“An 8-year-old boy aiming a 9 mm Micro Uzi at a pumpkin on a Connecticut firing range Sunday accidentally shot himself instead as the submachine gun recoiled and he apparently lost control of it.”
http://www.abajournal.com/news/article/boy_8_dead_in_uzi_firing_range_accident_some_suggest_change_in_law/

Walking the dog this morning I spotted an Audi out front with a bumper sticker that I just don’t get, maybe y’all can splain. Two lines of text, top line white on blue “Barack 2012” Bottom half white on red “Michelle 2016”.

Huh?

Insdeleted!

Wow! That is some world class intellectual insecurity there. Cannot tolerate even a little contrary opinion or evidence. Nice hermetic bubble you got there boy.

As an American Indian, we can tell you in detail how it turns out when you try to fight against a professional army. You may win a battle or two but there is no way you can win the war. Shit at Little Bighorn the Lakota and Cheyenne had better weapons and tactics and kicked the 7th Cavalry’s ass but that only made them take out 100 years of revenge against those tribes. The proof is in the current poverty statistics.

“Barack 2012? Bottom half white on red “Michelle 2016?.

Given that this was Portland, I am going to guess that is Michelle Obama in 2016. Here in Montana, I would just assume it was a crazed, but disillusioned Bachmann supporter.

It was the red background that made me think it’s the R-DSM IV Michelle. If its meant to be the bear armed lady it’s a design fail. If they mean the Bachmann beard, it’s just WTF.

I wish to express my sincere gratitude toward Tintin for cropping that photo so we do not have to see The Little Hoft making a little tiny tentpole.

PENIS D-KW spotted at LEAFS SUCK Pride.

Correcting my linkfail upthread…Smells like bacon around here

I wish to express my sincere gratitude toward Tintin for cropping that photo so we do not have to see The Little Hoft making a little tiny tentpole.

No danger of that, ever, without the aid of a microscope.

well, I appreciated your drunkblog, VS. I didn’t have time or sobriety enough to respond; iPhone at Summerfest, you know.

Interestingly enough, I posted an entry on the Fest-Blawg that is related to this discussion, 1st versus 2nd and so forth. I almost deleted it, because of the serious pants nature; but in the end the upcoming holiday gave me the push to leave it up. We’ll see how it goes over with people who aren’t godless commie hippie America Haters like you folks.

Oh, I’ll be sure to check that out. Besides, you know I like having a variety of blogs to bug you at.

o yes, having many intelligent commenters is VERY annoying. Please, everyone avoid all my blogs.

The zombie hatred gets old after a while though.

“o yes, having many intelligent commenters is VERY annoying.”

I’ll thank you not to mention my multiple personality disorder. Even if all my personalities ARE super-smart.

VS, Can I speak to vacuumslayer?

I hope the 2nd amendment devotees follow this shining example of how to protest. If you know what I mean and I think you do.

VS, Can I speak to vacuumslayer?

VS ISN’T HERE RIGHT NOW.

I do so love the authoritarians who can watch a woman being arrested for nothing more than asking a cop, “Why?”,and still pull out an arrest record as proof that the black man in the car totally deserved to be harassed.

Someone who isn’t banned do me a favor and go drop this link in Dumbshit’s comments: http://3weirdsisters.com/2010/07/04/happy-independence-day-whatever-that-means/#comments

Good column, but I wonder if I’m ceasing to be a patriot too, because I hate the sort of citizens who are targeted by Sadly, No!, and their supporters too.

I mean, my reaction to the flood issues in the Midwest was mostly “I wonder how many of those people were just the sort to circulate e-mails about how New Orleans couldn’t handle the disaster because its citizens were shiftless niggers too dependent on Big Government. Wonder how much help they think they deserve now?”

It was the red background that made me think it’s the R-DSM IV Michelle. If its meant to be the bear armed lady it’s a design fail. If they mean the Bachmann beard, it’s just WTF.

Since Bachmann is one-L Michele, I’m guessing somebody really loves them some Obamas.

Jennifer — I posted your link; hope it stays long enough for folks to see it.

Maybe Jumbo is holding the rifle and then going to jump in the lake behind him. This will be performance art depicting the inherent conflict in the rightwing blogaquarium as deep down inside they know that they are anti-social fuckwits.

“It was the red background that made me think it’s the R-DSM IV Michelle.”

One L, Two Ns
~

Is it beer thirty yet? This stuff goes down smooth on a warm summer day.

Wonder how much help they think they deserve now?”

Now?

How about Big Government’s 75year, 3,500 mile levee project that is entirely the reason they are able to build homes and make a living in a floodplain?

A reason to keep on living.

Hah hah there are some lovely put downs of Heft in his comments for his safety ignorance. I hope he has steel-capped boots because he is going to shoot himself in the foot.

How about Big Government’s 75year, 3,500 mile levee project that is entirely the reason they are able to build homes and make a living in a floodplain?

Yeah, I’ve occasionally made smart remarks about whether rural electrification didn’t turn out to be a mistake.

But that’s not really the point– I’m wondering if I can still consider myself even faintly patriotic if I find that I thoroughly hate the kind of “patriots” Jen had targeted so pointedly. They’re still citizens, after all.

Exactly how is it unpatriotic to dislike hateful and delusional hypocrites?

My comment containing a link to 3 weird sisters is up

VS’s Rochester story link no workee.

Strange, or weird?

Revolta, I think my second attempt at linking worked. Try that one.

Oh yeah. Duh……………

Also, Darwin Award.

So, if I were to become a murderer/sadist/sex offender/theif/vandalist/poisoner as well… then it would prove that humans are bad? it would justify violence? It would give someone justification to blow up the world? It would make us all equally culpable? WHAT??!? I’ll never be like you. It’s been over two decades. I still know right from wrong. I’m still a good person. I still care. I continue to be for peace. I don’t appreciate my impersonators. I’m more stubborn than you. I’m not fooled. All my life I’ve been SURROUNDED by murderer/sadist/sex offender/theif/vandalist/poisoners who didn’t know what good, or love, or kindness is… who genuinely don’t seem to understand the meaning of the word “help” (I need help NOW)…

Over two decades of trying, and you can’t make me cruel, or bad, and I have self-control. All my life I have been surrounded by murderers/sadists/torturers/kidnappers/sex offenders/thieves/vandalists/ and etc.. I don’t appreciate my impersonators, I’ll never be like you. I am for peace.

All my life I have been surrounded by murderers/sadists/torturers/kidnappers/sex offenders/thieves/vandalists/ and etc..

You should shop at a different store.

Following up on Dr. Fate’s post on the AR-15 vs. the M-16, here’s a couple of snippets from a post I made at Ed Brayton’s place on the same subject. Just in the spirit of patriotism.

It should be noted that the US Armory did not want to issue an automatic rifle, period—their fear for 150 years had been that any increase in ease of loading would result in troops “wasting ammunition”. That’s why we sent men to Cuba with the weak-ass Krag-Jorgenson, that had no clip and had to be loaded one round at a time, to face Mauser Gewehr ’98s.* You could shoot somebody in the chest with the K-J and see them keep on coming, whereas the Mauser could hit somebody in their outstretched hand and they would spin around and fall to the ground…but at least the Americans wouldn’t waste ammunition.

When it became obvious that the Army had to issue a full-automatic rifle, they didn’t want one that fired a pistol round, like the AK-47, or go to a smaller caliber—neither alternative was manly enough. They insisted on a rifle firing .3030 ammo—the M-14. On full auto, it was more of a means of propulsion than a weapon, and more than one guy had their jaw broken by the recoil.

*Eventually the US Armory issued a monkey-copy of the Gewehr ’98—the ’03 Springfield. Mauser sued, and the US Government eventually agreed to pay them a lump-sum settlement without admitting any wrongdoing.

….the original AR-15—the “black rifle” that struck such fear in the Viet Cong in the hands of CIA “advisers” during the early years of Viet Nam. When Eugene Stoner was designing the AR-15, he realized that muzzle velocity had increased enormously for a century, but the pitch of the rifling had stayed the same. Bullets were spinning much faster than they needed to for stability. He designed the AR-15 with a much steeper pitch, and the bullets would start to tumble as soon as they entered flesh, causing horrendous wounds. When the Army was busy ruining the AR-15 in the process of converting it into the M-16, they went back to the shallower rifling pitch, and the bullets remain stable, drilling right through flesh and out the other side.

Now it’s possible to argue that the slower-spinning rounds violated the spirit if not the letter of the Hague protocol of 1895 that outlawed expanding ammunition. The Russian AK-94 round accomplishes the same thing by having a hollow space inside the forward part of the bullet, causing it to tumble end-over-end….

_________________________________________

The AR-15 was designed around a cartridge with an extruded propellant that was slightly less powerful than standard ball propellant, but produced almost no residue. This allowed a design with smaller gas passages and tighter tolerances.

The Army had to be forced to adapt the AR-15 into the M-16 due to rabid “Not Invented Here” syndrome. They decided to ruin it in the process. They forced the manufacturer to stop making the propellant it was designed for, and went back to the standard propellant, the residue from which clogged up the passages.

They also decided to issue it without a cleaning kit in the butt, which every issue rifle since the ’03 Springfield had had. GIs were writing their parents to buy them cleaning kits and mail them to them, since the Army refused to issue them, even separately.

Also, the more energetic propellant caused the action to work faster than it was designed for, thus causing the rifle to jam. They actually had to be tested and only the 1/3 (roughly) that were slower than average due to manufacturing variations, could be issued.

All my life I have been surrounded by murderers/sadists/torturers/kidnappers/sex offenders/thieves/vandalists/ and etc..

You should shop at a different store.

Or go to Thanksgiving at the inlaws this year…

Libs w/ GUNS!

Do not think, oh neo-Confederates & crypto-fascists, that in the ensuing 25 yrs. we have become less armed!

Now my comment at Jumbo’s is gone and my request for the reason will not load. I haz a sad for liberty and democracy

Better shots too!

I haz a sad for liberty and democracy

That is because conservaturds haz a hate for them. What they mean when they talk about “freedom” and “democracy” is the freedom to do whatever the fuck they want to without restrictions or limitations and the power to force everybody else to do what they say. Extending the right to do what you want (or any other rights) to anyone else is absolute anathema to them.

we have become less armed!

I haz one of these. It will blow the tiny head right off a wingnut.

It will blow the tiny head right off a wingnutvarmint.

Or a snake.

Better shots too!

Watch out for my wife. I’ve seen her shoot 1-inch groups with her Colt Python .357

I’ll be cowering behind her.

I haz one of these. It will blow the tiny head right off a wingnut.

Classy. Love the Old West vibe that comes from it being a six-shooter.

I’ll be cowering behind her.

Is there room for two back there?

Love the Old West vibe that comes from it being a six-shooter.

I love the fact that it is a single action revolver (you have to manually cock it to fire), so I am less likely to inadvertently blow off pieces of my anatomy. Bought it for when I go camping up in the mountains in grizzly and mountain lion country, of which we have a lot around here. Rest of the time it lives unloaded, broken down, with a trigger lock in the closet. I do not have wingnut Dirty Harry fantasies about dealing with intruders. That is why we have 9-1-1.

John Revolta said,
July 3, 2011 at 22:11

Oh yeah. Duh……………

Also, Darwin Award.

AHEM! The AHEM may be lazily done but do not mistake that for lack of indignance you scoundrel. Good DAY sir.

.33 Winchester, Model 1886. Don’t know year of mfr. Hasnt been fired in years though, just kept clean and oiled. When they stopped making cartridges I carefully saved casings (don’t even _think_ about going to tag that deer without finding and pocketing the spent easing(s). Fitted with 210 grain points it made a great brush gun.

Remington .308 – dang I loves me some firepower.

Mossberg .22 for plinking, lazy method of squirrel hunting. Used to shoot comp., haven’t done that since college.

Remington 12 ga. pump shotgun for trap, the more fun method of squirrel shooting, can’t tell you how many bunnies and woodcock* and quail and what have you became dinner by the mercy of that gun.

And just to put a little extra twist in yer panties, whingers, The Ho is also no mean trap shooter.

Alas, all are in storage back in PA at my brother’s.

And just to put a little extra twist in yer panties, whingers, The Ho is also no mean trap shooter.

Ooooo! Oooo! Oooo! An armed, gay, liberal! Somebody is going to need extra bleach in the underwear load this week.

Meanwhile, In West Virginia…
~

I love the fact that it is a single action revolver

I have a lot of handguns, but my favorite is my Colt Peacemaker replica.

I’ve fired and cleaned guns, but don’t own any. I do have a wicked-accurate stainless-steel slingshot I whipped up in shop class.

Hooray for Soviet firearms. None of the American crap for Jim.

Does the SF foreskin holocaust prevention measure also outlaw the soon to be hot fad for foreskin sculpturing (after vajazzlimg, the next logical step)?

For those of you wanting to steal my latest brilliant idea, I RESERVE ALL RIGHTS. It’s documented right here so don’t even try. Abe Lincoln in profile, if the moheltiste has any talent for working with shadow could be the next BIG THING, amirite?

copyright and trademark names to include but are not limited to A. Lincoln.

Vandalist? Is that a real activity or even word? Sounds like someone who spends an inordinate amount of time visiting message boards dedicated to the proper way of cutting donuts in your principle’s front yard.

I was digging through the YouTube attic this afternoon and I came across some interesting things produced by Thomas Edison.
1. 117 year old funny cat video.
2. Women boxing
3. The very first moving picture with sound: Two men slow dancing to violin music. The first gay moving picture?
http://gocart-mozart.blogspot.com/2011/07/thomas-edison-boxing-cats-boxing-babes.html

Thanks for the linkees, folks. My internets went down (as it has been doing DAILY – Comcast is so about to get fired) but when it came back, I had at least 8 visitors from Gateway Dumbfuck. None who cared to comment, alas.

But thanks again all, sorry for those of you who are now banned from commenting over there but…that was gonna happen the first time you posted something with a modicum of logic or reason, anyway.

Can’t be bothered to go look – does that vid of the two men dancing carry the original title “The Gay Brothers?”

Hmmm… I see that teh wiki takes issue with Vito Russo’s assertion that the title was “The Gay Brothers.” really poor, the objection: “but ‘gay’ didn’t mean homo until later!”. One, Cary Grant would argue with that. Two, they don’t realize that the film could be an example of just how the term was adapted from the “gay 90s” sense to become the later homo-sense.

Not that I’m prepared to give Vito a total pass, even though I really really like his work. It’s just that it seems to me to be another example of push back.

PROTIP for Jennifer: the most frequent cause of .Comcast fuckup is their DNS server going down. DO NOT USE. I won’t be rear-pieced to look up details but giggle it up for yourself – use another DNS server and lots of your troubles will disappear.

AHEM

I yam mortified.

Gonna risk an AHEM: Lt. Gen. Mikhail Kalashnikov is still alive. He is 91.

Now I’ll catch up the thread.

Poopy—that Cary Grant line in Bringing Up Baby, which is what I assume you’re referring to—does that mean that the word “gay” had attained its current meaning in 1938, or was that the source of the current meaning? Has there been any study on the subject? ‘Cause I’ve been wondering about that for at least 30 years.

@Nom de Plume:
Thanks for reminding us of the anniversary of Pickett’s Charge, a great day in the cause of Freedom, though it seems inexplicably neglected by the Freedom Mongers(tm).

Worth following the Wikipedia link, too. I didn’t realize that “On the night of July 2, General Meade correctly predicted at a council of war that Lee would try an attack on his lines in the center the following morning.”

Why doesn’t Meade get more credit? I mean, this shows him to be a better general, and/or his forces to be better soldiers, than anybody Alexander the Great ever fought. Al’s favorite tactic was to look over the enemy lines and figure out where they’d made the best defenses — and then personally lead his elect troops directly against the strongest point! He figured that that was the place the enemy was most afraid of losing, so why not trust their judgment?

Hardly ever failed. But against the damnYankees — who knows? BTW, Pickett himself figured this out: ‘Years later, when asked why his charge at Gettysburg failed, General Pickett replied: “I’ve always thought the Yankees had something to do with it.”‘ A brave man with a sense of humor. Could have used him, I’m sure, on the non-evil side of that war.

Oog. Can I self-AHEM myself for the Kalashnikov-still-alive deely-bob?

Hey, let’s risk another AHEM…

Still not sure what the one who yelled ‘GET SOME!!!’ was talking about.

It’s a line from Stanley Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket. A sociopathic door-gunner in a helicopter casually machine guns Vietnamese peasants in rice fields. It’s like a game to him, when he ‘scores’ he’s shouts “Get Some” (as in ‘get some of this’).

The protagonist, the protagonist asks him how he can shoot women and children like that. He replies. “It’s easy. I don’t lead them as much.”

tagfail. Missing italics on the third line.

Pupienus, as far as I know, its called “Dickson’s Experimental Sound Film”

A Chinese-made American flag would have completed the dimwit’s picture.

I would love to have and old school six shooter, looks like a blast to shoot.

I’ve got a Winchester model 70 30-06 with a Leupold Gold Ring 1.75-6x scope and I can shoot it fairly well. I also have a Ruger 10-22 that is a blast to plink with, as well as a 20 gauge bird gun.

Some of us dirty hippies know how to hunt.

It’s a line from Stanley Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket

“The one’s that run are Viet Cong. The one’s that don’t run are well-disciplined Viet Cong!”

While celebrating Gettysburg, let’s not forget Dan Sickles—first man in America to be acquitted of murder on the grounds of temporary insanity, whose move forward from his assigned position into the Peach Orchard nearly lost us the Battle of Gettysburg, and who engineered the stolen election of 1876. A renaissance man, for sure.

VRBK – my take is that the Bringing Up Baby line, (which, +1 to you is exactly the reference I was making), was the first time it showed up in pop culture. To me, that says it had been around before that. Who ever heard of HoWood introducing an idea that wasn’t already in the lore?

Also, I forgot to mention earlier, The Ho has been making noises about getting a hand gun. I ain’t against it.

“Philly” cheese snakes tonight, coast-to-coast syle. By which I mean sauteed shrooms and onions, some jus-y sauce, shredded lettuce and tomate. Chips. Caprese salad – little local about it with heritage tomatoes from somewhere or other but it IS summer and we just gotta have a caprese salad and one _requires_ great tomato so fuck it, I’ll buy the Mexican tomate. Oooooh, there will soon be local heritage tomates!

We visited Gettysburg a couple years ago. I managed to find one of my ancestor’s names on the Pennsylvania Memorial. 1st Pennsylvania Reserves.

I think he was a cook, unless there was something lower ranking than a cook back then.

I’m shocked, shocked I tell you, to notice that the Weak-ass-pedia doesn’t mention the stolen election of 1876. Roy Morris, Jr. covers it in entertaining detail, including Sickle’s earlier…adventures. A great read.

Gocart – I recall seeing that in Film 101 but I’m pretty sure my ascription of the name is due entirely to Vito Russo. If you haven’t read or seen “Celluloid Closet” do so post haste.

The no longer evil Charles Johnson writes:

“Pamela “Shrieking Harpy” Geller and Robert Spencer are now under attack from the rest of the anti-Muslim gang, for posting a statement denouncing the EDL because they could no longer ignore the open antisemitism and connections to neo-Nazi groups among the leadership. The hard line elements in this coalition of bigots are demanding that Geller and Spencer apologize and grovel to the EDL, and Geller responds in her customary fashion with a blast of hatred and vitriol:”
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/38828_Pamela_Gellers_Anti-Muslim_Circus_in_Full_Nuclear_Meltdown

and Pamalamadingdong goes into Full Atlas Shrug Down
http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/atlas_shrugs/2011/07/lord-of-the-flies-machiavelli-comes-to-the-blogosphere-.html

Porlock Junior from what I can gather from this edge of the world, the criticism of Meade comes from his inactivity after Gettysburg. There are pretty good reasons to think he could have done severe damage to the Confederates and some conjecture that he could have hastened the end of the war if he had been even a little energetic in the pursuit. But we weren’t there and it must have been like a visit to hell and you probably wouldn’t want to do that again.

Quotes around _Philly_ because
1. Sharp cheddar and cave aged gruyere, no cheezwhiz or whatever the fuck it is.
2. No frozen flaked chopped formed beef crap shit. Rib steak, ultra thin sliced.
3. lettuce and tomato.

PHPTPTHPPHT Philly.

I think he was a cook, unless there was something lower ranking than a cook back then.

The guy in the barrel.

Most Esteemed Very Reverend and PupMax:

The fascinating journey of “gay” as a descriptor for folks with creative approaches to their personal lives seems to have begun in the early 17th century. It may go back to a dude whose name I’ve since forgotten, a chipper, handsome, bi, hard-drinking courtier who was banished from court for smashing the royal clocks when they refused to answer his inebriated inquiry, “Dost fuck?”

In the 19th century, “gay” was a synonym for “for pay”, although I don’t think the rhyme had anything to do with the association. “Gay lady”, at that time, meant “prostitute”. There’s a similar use of “gay fellow” to mean a male hustler, but the word was recorded with far less frequency because het prostitution was at least considered understandable but male-to-male prostitution was something everybody tried real hard to pretend didn’t exist.

By the turn of the 20th century, “gay” was well-known underworld/underground slang for what was just coming to be recognized as a distinct subgroup of (usually) urban society. (Several scholars have made the case that the categories of “gay” and “straight” didn’t even exist until the latter part of the 19th century–and then the notion of a homosexual identity was largely used to slander activists for woman suffrage as “unnatural”.)

It’s possible that the term “gay” meaning “male homosexual” entered wider discourse as pop music slang, specifically from jazz musicians; Bessie Smith is only the best-known early jazz performer to use imagery common to the new, but growing, community later to be known as “LGBT”.

It’s probable that Cary Grant first heard the term as a kid, and his proposal to use the term in a carefully-structured context the studio was plausibly able to claim as an ad-lib occurred around the time that he and Randolph Scott were the most open and visible gay couple in Hollywood.

Uh… if y’all were curious.

1. Sharp cheddar and cave aged gruyere, no cheezwhiz or whatever the fuck it is.

I have to agree with you here that authenticity may not actually be desirable in a cheesesteak.

Porlock Junior said,
July 4, 2011 at 2:57

The reason Meade gets crap is because he didn’t press his advantage by pursuing the Confederate army after it retreated and crushing it before it could recover. Whether his critics are realistic in their expectations of him, I don’t know, but that’s what most people have against him.

Also, the Damn Yankees had an advantage over previous armies in history; weapons technology had advanced to the point where they had an accuracy and range previous armies didn’t have. It was kind of a proto-World War One trench warfare thing, where charging the enemy no longer worked because he had the technology to turn the charge into a bloodbath before you even reach his lines.

“Pamela “Shrieking Harpy” Geller and Robert Spencer are now under attack from the rest of the anti-Muslim gang, for posting a statement denouncing the EDL because they could no longer ignore the open antisemitism and connections to neo-Nazi groups among the leadership. The hard line elements in this coalition of bigots are demanding that Geller and Spencer apologize and grovel to the EDL, and Geller responds in her customary fashion with a blast of hatred and vitriol:”

Pamela Geller shocked, shocked, that there’s neo-Nazism going on in this “anti-jihadist” fest. Give her her winnings, somebody.

Like I said at the time of Johnson’s conversion: duh. It’s the latest label the skinheads’ve tried using to reinvent themselves, and has been for thirty years at least: anyone in Western Europe could’ve told them that. Their American allies who say they’ve “just found out” and can no longer be silent are either full of shit or oblivious beyond previously known human limits. (Either’s possible).

Johnson says as much about Geller, but the same’s true of him. What took you so bloody long, Charles?

Beg pardon, one more note… all throughout “The Maltese Falcon”, Elisha Cook Jr.’s character bristles every time Bogart calls him a “gunsel”, a term the studio carefully explained meant “mob slang for armed junior subordinate to an important gangster.” However, dating back to the days of Magnus Hirschfeld in Germany (you may recall that his work was thoroughly torched by the Nazis, otherwise we might’ve had gay marriage a couple generations ago), the term “gaensl” (there’s an umlaut in there someplace) meant an underage male kid kept by an older, usually wealthy man. (The word “gaensl” is a Swiss/Austrian variant on the formal German noun for “gosling”.)

Storywise, it doesn’t make any sense for Cook’s character to get so gosh-darned pissed at Bogart for calling him an apprentice triggerman, but it sure would rile him up to be referred to as a trick. Same thing with Cary Grant’s apparent ad-lib in “Bringing Up Baby” when he’s caught, for utterly heterosexual reasons, in a peignoir. Subtext is common in popular entertainment, especially when censorship is all-pervasive; it’s one way you can treat adult moviegoers as the grownups they are instead of the taller children who shave that society seemed to want to think we all were until, say, 1965 or so.

Um… not that that has anything to do with Hoft clutching a Kalash he has no idea what to do with. Sorry. Seriously off topic, there.

No—thanks, McJohn. That was very interesting.

President Lincoln later asked General Meade if he knew what his actions after Gettysburg reminded him of. “What, Mr. President?” “Like an old woman shooing her geese over a creek.” (Paraphrasing, probably.)

The Civil War was a precursor to WWI in more ways than one. The whole system of field entrenchments that spread so far on the Western Front was the main Confederate contribution to the art of war—mainly due to General Longstreet. Although Bobby Lee was cordially hated by his early subordinates as “The King of Spades” for making them do so much digging.

The protagonist, the protagonist asks him how he can shoot women and children like that. He replies. “It’s easy. I don’t lead them as much.”

This character, and the actual incident itself, were based on a real guy in Dispatches by Michael Herr. Great read.

he and Randolph Scott

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

okay…now i am super annoyed…in light of the whole harvard study that says that democrats just look like big maroons when they march in 4th of july parades…the slant is that republicans are patriotic and observe the holiday as it was meant to be.

really?

how many americans take the time to reflect on how tis country was founded, yada, yada, yada…rather than think…hmmm…long weekend…beer, bbq, and blowing shit up…

and then you have jim hoft…yes, i for one am so grateful to live here in america just because any dumb motherfucker can shoot his gun…

Also, too: nothing says veneration of “freedom” and our “inalienable rights” like censoring comments from those who disagree with you, while approving of those gleefully advocating murder of the president and your fellow citizens.

word, sister, word…

Damn, I’m a won’t-touch-a-gun sort, but even I know not to put your finger on the trigger unless you’re about to fire it. Sheesh.

Fenwick, if your still around, some minor stirrings in the Sultanate:

http://timesofoman.com/innercat.asp?detail=47133

Why doesn’t Meade get more credit?

i am giving meade credit for giving me a pretty good buzz tonight…

Pamela Geller shocked, shocked, that there’s neo-Nazism going on in this “anti-jihadist” fest. Give her her winnings, somebody.

The rattlesnakes are turning on each other, popcorn, anyone?

okay, so I’d get tired of yer nonsense, and I’d say nothing zip zilch nada zero nothing, or some variant, and I’d get a ‘________ you forgot something.’ WHAT IS A nazi. LMFAO That’s the definition, that’s the meaning. (moment to whine) I’m tired of listening to vaccuuming all day. So very tired. So, the camera don’t lie.

I do have a wicked-accurate stainless-steel slingshot I whipped up in shop class.

I have a wooden stick.

Storywise, it doesn’t make any sense for Cook’s character to get so gosh-darned pissed at Bogart for calling him an apprentice triggerman, but it sure would rile him up to be referred to as a trick.

The novel rather strongly implies that he really *is* a trick too, probably for Cairo.

I think it got by the radar because the -el (and sometimes -eleh) suffix is a diminutive in Yiddish, and even got appended to English words for slangy purposes. “Gunsel” then sounds like “little gun” and would be a pretty good insult for the shrimpy gunman who seems to be Compensating For Something with those large pistols he hauls around.

Me, I’m celebrating my 3rd amendment rights.

I’m celebrating my 4th Amendment rights.

Wait. I don’t have any anymore, do I?

and Bringer of KernelDeath

Do not install Linux.

Why didn’t Jimbo just openly blow a big long greenish-yellow ribbon of snot out onto Old Glory too, & go for the Trifecta?

He could just walk all over it, too.

Dictators and fascists never grab the guns first. A printing press is far more dangerous to them. By the time it’s down to shooting, the bad guys have already won.

I had a suitably snarky “librul media” comment to go with this, but it has been supplanted by a smoldering anger at the truth of what has become of our “free” press.

Is there room for two back there?

Not something one should answer yes to about a lady who shoots that well.

use another DNS server and lots of your troubles will disappear.

Open DNS seems to work OK, as does the Comodo DNS they tell ya about if you install their free firewall. AT&T has DNS troubles as well. It often “forgets” things until you reload, most notably search results. I go back and forth as to what works best.

—————-

I’ve had my share of guns, off and on since I was a wee little pistol. I’m not half bad at shooting them. I’m currently without any.

I think some of these whingers might be surprised at how familiar much of the left is with firearms.

“Gunsel” as “gunman” (rather than “catamite”) was apparently the result of Dashiell Hammett sneaking one past the censor, just to show that he could. He even included a bit of innocuous but naughty-sounding slang in the same story as a decoy (“working on the gooseberry lay”). And that’s …

One to Grow on

8.8.8.8

Gay Apparel.

Smut smuggled a weapon through customs?

Lt. Gen. Mikhail Kalashnikov is still alive. He is 91.

Well don’t show him that picture. It’ll finish him.

I have a wooden stick.

For more than four hours? See your doctor.

I live in an area where it’s not unusual to see Confederate flags proudly displayed on vehicles often in conjunction with a bumper sticker or two about rebel pride. Talking to these people I get the idea that they all think they would be so much better off if the CSA had won it’s independence in “the war of northern aggresion”. I’m not sure if the remainder of the USA would have become the world superpower it is today, but I just don’t see an independent CSA ever getting even close. I beleive today the CSA would be closer to a Bolivia or Peru economically than to the current version of the USA. Of course, if you point that out to a southerner they are liable to use their northern aggresion, 2nd amendment rights on you.

This character, and the actual incident itself, were based on a real guy in Dispatches by Michael Herr. Great read.

Bingo!

“Get some” = “kill some gooks”*

*said for era authenticity, etc

Hacking on Fox News Twitter reports Obama’s death

I bet there’s a lot of wingnuts spending their 4th with a case of blue balls.

Only commie wankers handle AK-47 knockoffs.

Only commie wankers handle AK-47 knockoffs.

Nuh-uh. Islamic insurgents also.

Talking to these people I get the idea that they all think they would be so much better off if the CSA had won it’s independence

If the South had won the Civil War, what accent would we be speaking with today? – German

LEAFS SUCK Pride

First parade without a showing by teh Mayor of LEAFS SUCK, but that’s totes understandable. I mean Pride Week up here is one of those very minor events that nobody notices at all. Heck the centerpiece parade on Sunday only managed to draw a measly million or so people. Not the sort of thing that warrants an appearance by the Mayor, that’s for sure.

DKW

I’m heading up to LEAFS SUCK today. Anything going on downtown that’s going to cause a traffic problem?

MK,

You should be fine. Teh revelries wrapped up yesterday and all roads should be back to their LEAFS SUCKian normal – bumper-to-bumper.

all roads should be back to their LEAFS SUCKian normal – bumper-to-bumper.

I know Canadia is sort of a toy country, but I think using bumper cars to commute is taking things too far.

,,,using bumper cars to commute

Mandated by teh nanny state. Road rage increases universal health care expenses.

once again, i am spending the 4th of july with a hangover…when will i learn? but i have never had home brewed mead before and when the party host cracks open the grey goose, who am i to argue?

Mama Hoft.

I’m not sure if the remainder of the USA would have become the world superpower it is today, but I just don’t see an independent CSA ever getting even close. I beleive today the CSA would be closer to a Bolivia or Peru economically than to the current version of the USA.

And the U.S.A. would still have an illegal immigration problem, only with people pouring over the Potomac instead of the Rio Grande.

Cracking the goose.

I have a wooden stick.

In the post-apocalyptic American run by the Hofttards, this will qualify you as a tech geek.

Mama Hoft.

Was that a silhouette of Obama?
~

re: Hoft

Geez, it looks like none of teh photos are right. That first with his finger on the trigger and a magazine in the rifle for a photo is probably teh worst, but yowza that guy has no clue.

The sniper position he’s in? His arm is on the inside of the stock. Meaning that the rifle is braced against good wishes and fairy dust. If he fires from that position, the scope is going to bury itself in his eye. Note – the only photo where he’s taken his glasses off too. Although they don’t look like proper safety eyewear for a firing range anyways, so wev.

The pistol one? It’s not the classic Weaver stance – it’s moar teh made-for-teevees-movie stance. Teh, I’m a tough guy who barely feels it when the kickback bounces teh pistol off my forehead.

Having themselves photographed handling firearms is the Teabaggers’ principal means of compensating for either their post-adolescent cowardice at the idea of actually enlisting in the armed forces or their long-suppressed desire to handle actual phalluses or both.

In Hoft’s defense (and also since I’m from a toy country) – maybe they’re fake guns.

Hacking on Fox News Twitter reports Obama’s death.
I bet there’s a lot of wingnuts spending their 4th with a case of blue balls.

How embarrassing … I CAME!

Also, to all the Yankee Sadlynauts, Happy Independance Day !!!!!!!!!

“She spray paints macaroni and calls it art.” – said by a guy at the next table in a Church St. restaurant when we derided him upon overhearing him adoring the bitch Martha Stewart and proclaimed our preference for Lynnette Jennings. That’s the strongest memory of my one time at LEAFS SUCK pride, prolly ten or 15 years ago.

Happy Independence Day! Because without America there is no Free World.

There’s no such thing as a free world, commie moocher. You’ll pay for your world like the BIBLESTUTION requires.

“Happy Independence Day! Because without America there is no Free World.”

YOU’RE WELCOME.

There’s no such thing as a free world, commie moocher.

Oh man! How am I going to keep on rockin’ then. And if I can’t have freedom fries can I have freedom bread instead? Or better yet, freedom Hendrix? Then I can truly feel free.

Give it up for the red, white and blue.

Happy July 4, 1632.

Thread Bear, you sound like a working man.

RIFLE IS FINE. […] YOU STILL NO HIT LARGEST SIDE OF BARN.

He doesn’t even know how to safely hold a weapon.

What a poser.

One conclusion we may come to is that Hoft is not uncomfortable gripping a barrel with his left hand.

Somehow, tho, I think he’s used to thinner gauge. MUCH thinner.

One of his commentators, who apparently owns a shooting range, said she would cut off his hand if he did that at her range.

Shania law!

“I don’t care who ya are, that’s funny right there”

“I’m not sure if the remainder of the USA would have become the world superpower it is today, but I just don’t see an independent CSA ever getting even close. I beleive today the CSA would be closer to a Bolivia or Peru economically than to the current version of the USA.”

“And the U.S.A. would still have an illegal immigration problem, only with people pouring over the Potomac instead of the Rio Grande.”

Nah, the North American Republic would be doing fairly well by 2011.
You wouldn’t want to have been a white Confederate during the Great Slave Revolt of 1903, though….