Got off the boat. Apparently Nordlinger has reading comprehension issues.

The biggest take-away I got from the letter he posted was: Community colleges have a ready source of teachers any time of year because teachers need to supplement their regular income.

One teacher apparently had travel plans (the horror!) but without context, it’s impossible to say how that fit into his or her actual income issues. Not that that should stop assholes like Nordlinger from judging them.

Community College teachers make shit wages.

Silly. Teachers should work for gratitude and gruel.

I hear Jay Nordlinger goes to the Philharmonic a lot instead of sitting at home waiting to go to work again.

I don’t know. Seems to me that this irrefutable proof of . . . something bad mumblemumble unions.

Maybe dude won a trip to Spain. Maybe other family members paid for it. Maybe somebody is getting married. Maybe they booked it and something unexpected happened and they can’t cancel now. Maybe their child is dying and this was his last wish.

Doooouche.

I’m just not sure how this “teachers are privelage class” meme is really going to work. I know people with a fairly broad spectrum of political views, and not a single one thinks that teachers are overpaid. I mean, sure, accountability is always nice, and unionized people are harder to punish, but I can’t imagine this is going to play well in Peoria. And yet, there you have guys like Jay trying to drive this meme into the realm of Common Accepted Truths.

Also, one thing to keep in mind when it comes to teachers: if not for job security, why would anyone try to get a job as a public teacher? Is the end game that we get worse public school teachers? Or worse functionary bureaucrats?

Maybe dude won a trip to Spain. Maybe other family members paid for it. Maybe somebody is getting married. Maybe they booked it and something unexpected happened and they can’t cancel now. Maybe their child is dying and this was his last wish.

Maybe he’s earning money teaching there.

Maybe he was a Spanish teacher and was going to Spain in a kind of continuing professional education way. You know, the kind of thing that professional educators do ALL THE FUCKING TIME111!!!!!1!!!1

That, too, also.

I’m feeling especially angry that my sister the teacher has granite counter tops. When all I have is good republican Formica™. And she has a designer dog while mine is a shelter rescue.

The right fucked up their meme. It’s supposed to be “public school teachers are overpaid and have it too easy” not “teachers are overpaid.” Their precious all-white christian academies are going to suffer if they’re not careful.

Maybe he needed to pick up some extra cash by acting as a drug mule and transporting some “E” for El Rushbo.

I can’t imagine this is going to play well in Peoria

With the exception of a few laughably bad Rasmussen polls, all indications are that it’s not playing well in Peoria. I doubt the Indiana Dems would’ve aped their Wisconsin counterparts if they thought it would hurt them. But since the righties always believe their own spin (and I can’t blame them, really, considering the way the liberal media repeats it as fact) they think this is a winner for them.

Fat cat teachers are ruining this country with their greed. Also poor people.

Is the end game that we get worse public school teachers?

Well, they do want to crush the public education system, so with the introduction of vouchers and the demonization of public school teachers/unions, I think you hit the nail on the head.

Their precious all-white christian academies

Please. The Christian academies don’t win all those state titles by being all white.

With the exception of a few laughably bad Rasmussen polls, all indications are that it’s not playing well in Peoria.

I think the plan backfired because the majority of the protestors in Wisconsin are white folks. The typical “SEIU Thug” meme conjures up images of a largely minority, largely immigrant workforce.

Yeah, when even whitey’s being demonized, even the fence-straddling Heartlanders take notice.

Ah, Nord’s version of the Applebee’s salad bar.

AKA “Lookit what I pulled out of my ass to validate my hideous and inhuman ideology.”

I wonder if that Community College administrator also drives a cab.

Teachers should work for gratitude and gruel.

They get gruel?! They sure don’t get that much gratitude.

Jesus Christ. Do these people never use the internet? Just checked Expedia, and a roundtrip ticket to Spain plus one week hotel accommodation starts at $1200. A person of relatively modest means could save $100 a month for a year and do that trip.

Welp, ya gotta admit, they play the pol game well. After all, they just got done shitting on 9/11 First Responders in public, & their “punishment” for being such utter fucking cretins was that everyone was disgusted & upset … for about two days. Teachers are a much softer target.

Lookee here, what’s this in my junk e-mail? Why, it’s the “2011 State Of The Republican Party” survey …

4) Should public school teachers’ salaries be tied to their students’ performance?
Yes
No
No opinion

5) Do you believe teachers’ unions put too much emphasis on protecting their jobs instead of improving our children’s education?
Yes
No
No opinion

Never mind that this “Merit System” turns into a gold-star trough for cronyism everywhere it becomes policy – it’ll be DIFFERENT this time, baby, I swear! I’m only bankrupting you because I LOOOOOOOOOVE you!

Selfishly worrying about making a living over their hallowed service staffing the Containment Units for America’s Sacred Rugrats? Feckin’ Commie bastids!

Come on, teach, get with the pogrom! If you don’t join the rest of the worker-drones in supporting the glorious Reaganomics-based “Race To The Bottom” initiative, it means you secretly want the Islamoliberal Kalifate to pull off another 9/11 (but this time with all the victims being grandmas, babies & adorable talking kittens)!

The last sentence in my last post was… uh… inelegant. Heavens to Murgatroid, I think I am suffering from Snagglepussolalia!

Turd-finger (ba-wha-wha)
He’s the man, the man with the scobie touch…
That stinks so much….

Ok, see if you can do better.

And another shameless blogwhore, since the last one wasn’t obvious enough: if you haven’t heard the conversation between Scott Walker and someone he believes to be David Koch, I’ve got the youtubes (audio only) at my joint. And yes, it’s confirmed for real. The Beast’s Ian Walker poses as “David Koch” but the Beast’s site is down and has been for several hours.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/02/23/scott-walker-buffalo-beast-phone-prank_n_827058.html

Call verified as true.

I wonder if the lunch lady has any insight into this situation…

Argumentum ad anectdotum. Nordlinger’s following the Reagan MO with the welfare queen story – something you heard from someone, who heard it from someone, about this one person one time, obviously means that an entire class of people are just like that and should be punished for it.

But Saint Ronnie’s anecdote notwithstanding, I don’t see too many Cadillacs when I drive through Southeast DC, which leads me to think the man may have been full of shit. Just maybe. Similarly, I seriously doubt if you’d find trips to Europe in the expenses of your average public schoolteacher. And Nordlinger’s anecdote is even more ridiculous given the lack of context and the tons of possible alternate explanations, as other people here have pointed out already.

I think the plan backfired because the majority of the protestors in Wisconsin are white folks.

One more reason Wisconsin was an incredibly ill-advised State to start this in. Such a huge portion of the GOP strategy is based on demonizing an “other.” If they can’t use bigotry to whip up The Base, they’re half out of ammo at the start.

gratitude and gruel.

my least favorite Decemberists album.

Turd-finger (ba-wha-wha)

…From Mister Turdfinger
Pretty girl, beware of his heart of shit
This wit is nit

gratitude and gruel.

my least favorite Decemberists album.

Worst roleplaying game EVER! The idea of a Dickensian orphanage as a setting could have worked, but the “No Artful Dodgers” rule sank any fun to be had.

Oh jim, those aren’t leading questions much…ugh.

WC–they don’t deserve gratitude, what with the luxe Hamburger Helper/ trip to Spain lifestyles their leading.

They get gruel?!

LOOOOOXURY.

Argumentum ad anectdotum

I like reading the comments on NRO articles. There’s usually a few liberals trying to talk some sense, to no avail. On the Nordlinger thread one such liberal points out that this story is merely an anecdote and can easily be countered by finding one teacher who exhibits financial hardship. One of Nordlinger’s admirers explains that the liberal’s example would be just an anecdote while this Spain story constitutes anecdotal data, the difference between the two being, I guess, how much one really wants to believe which is the truthier.

Theyre

Ya know, even as a middle-class office drone, I was able to get off to Europe for a week to ten days every year. Sure, I always found small, inexpensive inns in which to stay, and didn’t go to extravagant five-star restaurants, but I was able to get overseas at least once a year.

These days, in the post-prosperity era, I haven’t crossed any bodies of water bigger than the Hudson River.

And WP rejects yet another comment.

I’m about to lose it. No no, I can tell – I really am about to lose it.

I’M LOSING IT…

I think his point isn’t that the man must be rich because he can afford to go to Spain – simply that if he really needed the money that badly, he wouldn’t have gone to Spain because staying here and taking the ten-week job would’ve been more important.

Which, of course, doesn’t negate all the observations made here.

My dad and stepmom–who are by no metric wealthy–make it a priority to travel each year. It’s something middle class folks BUDGET for. Perhaps it is the saving and living on a budget that Nordlinger finds so perplexing.

Also (the comment WP ate),

One more reason Wisconsin was an incredibly ill-advised State to start this in.

It’s meant to be a scare tactic, and the choice of Wisconsin is no accident. The Sun Belt is too remote for an effective demonstration (union history, membership, influence, symbolism are nothing there compared to what they are in the Rust Belt). But if they can do it in Wisconsin, they can do it anywhere.

It’s risky, but logical.

OK, stop calling and asking if my refrigerator is running. Its not funny anymore.

I’m just not sure how this “teachers are privelage class” meme is really going to work.

You need proof? Look at all the people fighting to get one of them cushy, high-payin’ teacher jobs!!!
~

As DKW could attest, if he’s not just a wham-bam, thank you ma’am kind of guy, and engaged her in some kind of pre- or post-coitus pillowtalk, my mother is a retired school teacher (4th, 5th, 6th grades) who did, in fact, take a trip to Europe after she retired. She saved up for it for years and is likely still paying on the credit cards. She says she enjoyed it more than she enjoyed DKW.

My folks had two kids on about $1200 a year back in the early 1970s; apparently I was one of those kids. We didn’t have a pot to piss in or a patch of dirt to pour it on. But somehow we still managed to live in the UK for a year or two and travel Europe in a microbus. How was this possible? Because relatives happened to die a lot around that period, and would leave a couple hundred bucks to one of my parents. It wasn’t enough money to be worth saving, so instead they lived fuckin’ life.

I blame society.

No, Seymour Butts IS NOT here. I’ve got important work to do so stop calling!

“OK, stop calling and asking if my refrigerator is running. Its not funny anymore.”

How are you talking with my dick in your mouth?

Hey Scott – Have you teachers in can?

It was in my ass at the time.

If, in the wake of all this insanity, the Republicans don’t get their asses handed to them in 2012, I have to wonder if America is worth preserving anymore.

My mom is/was a community college teacher and we got to go to Branson every year!

Teabaggers keeping it classy.

My mom blew some teachers for passing grades in grade school and thats why I’m so mad.

As further proof that The National Review is a cushy sinecure for a bunch of lazy, over-privileged, excessively compensated louts,

Fixated for more and healthlicious troothiness.

These two are perfect together:
“N__B said,
February 23, 2011 at 20:14

Hey Scott – Have you teachers in can?

Scott “Hosni” Walker said,
February 23, 2011 at 20:14

It was in my ass at the time.”

OOOOOPS.

Scott “Hosni” Walker

Wisconsin, from “Fonzi” to “Hosni” in just a few short decades.

I am so fucking old that I remember going to Branson when it was just a quiet little resort town on a lake in the Ozarks……

GOCAAAAAAAAAAAAART!!! [ /captainkirk ]

How dare these people aspire to a comfortable, middle class, existence?

Do you have Prince Albert in a can?

Damn, that’s gotta hurt. How do you walk?

You know who else was a hot piece of ass?

Wait……what?

And Nordlinger’s anecdote is even more ridiculous given the lack of context

Apparently NRO doesn’t allow links to actual redacted e-mails.

Oh,yeah.

Yohh-ruhp! Damn traitors, no wonder their filling a kids head with Commie naturalism, reason, and such.

She says she enjoyed it more than she enjoyed DKW.

In my defense, she probably had lots moar sex in Europe than she did that one night with me. She is kinda slutty that way.

From B^4’s link:

“Members of the various Tea Party, 9/12, and other freedom-oriented folks in the Atlanta area will be assembling in the vicinity of Georgia State Capitol this coming Wednesday afternoon at 4 pm. We’ll be providing balance to the ravings of the passengers aboard the SEIU Thugbus, which is scheduled to vomit forth its stooges at that same place and time.”

In Soviet Russia, Branson vacations to you!

How dare these people aspire to a comfortable, middle class, existence?

“These are my people; I am their king. I love them. PULL!”

Gotta tip my hat to “Hosni” Walker. Larfed I did.

Has anyone made a Koch Puppet joke yet?

What I don’t understand, and maybe this has already been addressed here–can’t be arsed, etc…is why are the unions reduced to “protesting”, “chanting”, sign waving etc.? I know I’m getting pretty old, but I remember a time when unions in this country had things they called “strikes”. Anybody else remember those? If all the public service unions are showing up together to rallies, why can’t they flex some good old-fashioned union muscle and call for general strikes?

“she probably had lots moar sex in Europe than she did that one night with me. She is kinda slutty that way.”

Well, yeah, I think she got schtupped in Stuttgart and munched in Munich. I think she mentioned the men in Vienna had tiny sausages or something. No telling what happend in Salzburg.

Walker’s new motto A Koch and a Smile!

I remember a time when unions in this country had things they called “strikes”. Anybody else remember those? If all the public service unions are showing up together to rallies, why can’t they flex some good old-fashioned union muscle and call for general strikes?

The protests were a strike, of sorts. The participating teachers called in sick in large enough numbers to get schools shut down. Actually walking out on the job was probably illegal, given the nature of employment. A general strike would be a secondary strike prohibited under Taft-Hartley.

I know I’m getting pretty old, but I remember a time when unions in this country had things they called “strikes”. Anybody else remember those? If all the public service unions are showing up together to rallies, why can’t they flex some good old-fashioned union muscle and call for general strikes?

Strikes usually have a specific process associated with them that can’t happen at the drop of a hat. Walker seems to have sprung his budget on his fellow legislators so a legal strike could not possibly have been organized in time. General strikes – syndicalism – are usually not legal.

Being overlooked in the furor; Walker and the Wis Republicronies have passed a 2/3 requirement for changing taxation, so we’ll be ramping right the hell down into Californication presently….

Also hidden in the Fake Emergency Budget Bill: the ability to use no-bid contracts for energy-related projects or selling energy plants. The Koch Pimps? Energy oligarchs.

Suddenly, Walker’s cancellation of wind projects makes so much more sense….

Also hidden in the Fake Emergency Budget Bill: the ability to use no-bid contracts for energy-related projects or selling energy plants. The Koch Pimps? Energy oligarchs.

Yeah, he really stepped in it. If he hadn’t gone after the unions, this might have slipped in under the radar.

Effin’ hubris, how does it work?

Isn’t Spain where Michelle Obama took her 500 person entourage on vacation?

I’m sorry, that should read “500 person posse“

My heart is black with hate, but I polish my Prince Albert regularly until it gleams.

Hey, when some in Mordor are behind the unions, you know you’ve jumped the shark.

(pffft, yes Mordor, you know who)

It’s worse than Jay realizes. I know a guy who was a high school teacher that was planning on spending part of his summer vacation in that exotic, tropical, quasi-U.S. territory of Hawaii. FREAKING HAWAII! Fortunately the guy got caught by the assistant principal and was forced to stay home and teach summer English classes for remedial students.

Though now that I think about it, that might have been Mark Harmon in Summer School.

More on Taft-Hartley and strikes:

The Taft–Hartley Act prohibited jurisdictional strikes, wildcat strikes, solidarity or political strikes, secondary boycotts, secondary or “common situs” picketing . . . Furthermore, the executive branch of the Federal government could obtain legal strikebreaking injunctions if an impending or current strike “imperiled the national health or safety,” a test that has been interpreted broadly by the courts.

Basically its strike provisions make it illegal for anyone to strike for any reason not directly related to his own contract negotiation, and allows POTUS to break any strike he feels like breaking.

I polish my Prince Albert regularly

Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?

Updating my limerick from the last thread:

There were two Koch brothers in Wisconsin
enjoying both ends of Walker, with cocks in.
Says Dave, “Chuck, I say, this is quite fun,
but do watch out for dripping santorum…”

And now I can’t read “Wisconsin” without thinking “cocksin”

Dear Jay Nord-

I’m an administrator at a large midwestern university and while I never thought I’d be writing you, I just couldn’t believe what happened to me the other day.

no-bid contracts for energy-related projects or selling energy plants.

Hellll-ooo, it costs lot’s of money to hold contract bids, with all the poor businesses having to do estimates and stuff. That would cost jobs and put our troops in harms way!

Being overlooked in the furor; Walker and the Wis Republicronies have passed a 2/3 requirement for changing taxation, so we’ll be ramping right the hell down into Californication presently….

Wonkish question: you need a two thirds majority to change taxation, but you don’t need a two thirds majority to abolish the requirement for a two thirds majority, do you?

Also hidden in the Fake Emergency Budget Bill: the ability to use no-bid contracts for energy-related projects or selling energy plants. The Koch Pimps? Energy oligarchs.

Oh yes. I’m sure the Kochs are happy about both events, but I’m equally sure it was carefully timed so that in all the commotion, no one would notice the no-bid contracts going through.

Was it Die Hard? Terrorists blow shit up all over New York, make demands and whatnot, and it turns out they’re just getting the cops riled up and distracted so no one’ll notice as they quietly raid the Federal Reserve Bank?

allows POTUS to break any strike he feels like breaking.

One would hope that Pres. Obama would be behind any striking union members, but he has an unfortunate habit of stepping on his own dick at times.

but I polish my Prince Albert regularly until it gleams.

You only need to wash it with soap and water to prevent infection, but whatever floats your boat, I guess..

I am offended by all of the following disgusting expressions:
Buff the bishop
Wax the banana
Flog the dolphin
Strangle the beef cobra
Cuff the carrot
Polish the pontiff
Chide the pork pillar
Yank the yardarm
Choke the chicken
Badger* the witness
Punching the clown
Launch the ham torpedo
Pound the potato
Clear the snorkel
Battle the purple-headed yogurt slinger
Dance with Rosie Palm and her five sisters
Oil the corndog
Massage the midget
Shooting union workers for daring to protest draconian government efforts to destroy their livelihoods

*Wisconsin 4eva playa

Hellll-ooo, it costs lot’s of money to hold contract bids, with all the poor businesses having to do estimates and stuff. That would cost jobs and put our troops in harms way!

I’m kind of surprised none of it went to Halliburton. Didn’t a lot of their no-bid government contracts in Iraq get canceled after the Dems took Congress in 2006? That must’ve hurt a little.

I guess they just aren’t as well connected as Koch Industries.

I’ve always liked “rough up the suspect”

OT for VS

I am offended by all of the following disgusting expressions:

Float the boat.

I’ve always liked “rough up the suspect”

I daresay you do.

Moar OOPS!

Supporting The Troop(s)
Playing To The Base
Exercising My Franchise
Getting Out The Vote
Pushpolling The Swing States

Shaking Up The Staff

Killing the thread.

What I don’t understand, and maybe this has already been addressed here–can’t be arsed, etc…is why are the unions reduced to “protesting”, “chanting”, sign waving etc.? I know I’m getting pretty old, but I remember a time when unions in this country had things they called “strikes”. Anybody else remember those? If all the public service unions are showing up together to rallies, why can’t they flex some good old-fashioned union muscle and call for general strikes?

A “Strike” is a real labor action governed by labor laws and overseen by the NLRB. A strike is something that happens in the conext of negotiating a contract; if the negotiations come to an impasse the union membership can vote to strike or walk-out.

A strike used to mean that every other bargaining unit involved with the employer would honor the strikers’ picket lines, but in recent decades labor law has weakened the ability to do that.

Unions who “strike” outside of this narrow definition, and even unions that honor other unions’ strikers’ picket lines can be fined or decertified by the NLRB.

There is no accommodation in current US labor law for a general strike.

You can protest, and you can even mount what’s called an “informational picket line” but the courts can strictly define what you actually do.

And if individual employees skip work without justification, they are subject to the disciplinary action coded in the contracts.

Labor Law in this country has already been so weakened it’s a freaking joke, so it’s amazing to see how the right wing wants to stamp out even the vestiges of it.

Introducing Thor’s Hammer
Releasing the Kraken

Chris, tihs is to small a pond for Halliburton, but Walker does have him some cronies.

too also

Of course, my cock-piercing joke is going to go over everybody’s heads because you are all LAME.

You know who else spent the summer in Spain

OT for VS

Incredibly cute and clever. I so enjoyed that.

And now:
Teasing the panther

because you are all LAME

We’re just old. Lame is coming later.

T&U likes to pierce male chickens that fly over our heads then park in the blue slots.

What Dreams May Come
Shuffling Off The Mortal Coil

Posting Too Fast

Time to turn the Hoover off.

What?

Stroking One’s Erection Until Climax

Estimating the time of arrival.

Posting Too Fast

Ha!!

Of course, my cock-piercing joke is going to go over everybody’s heads because you are all LAME.

So, uh, Spengler’s went over yours?

All these euphemisms are making me…

brb

Tipping the Postman

Erm, was there an urgent need for this?

So, uh, Spengler’s went over yours?

I thought that was supposed to be a masturbation joke? Am I incorrect? If so, I do apologize.

Lashing the lingam

Busting the union.

Stretching the truth.

Shivering my timber

Meeting with an intern

Chasing the dragon

Shellacking the wood

Soothing the snake
Polishing the cane
Fucking the truck tailpipe
Petting the hamster

If I were Ron Howard I’d be pissed.

On the other hand

May I change that to “soothing the cobra”? Thanks.

Tooting my own horn

You know what I like about S,N? The class.

Since this is teh Intartroons:
Killing Kittens.

New York minute

Making Baby Jesus Cry*

*I didn’t know that Messiahs could shoot their tears quite so far.

Answering your own Craigslist posting

The class.

Ummm,duh. What part of Sadly NO! has you overmissed?

I’ll be in my bunk.

Carrying your own luggage

Has peeling the spud been used?

The class.

And we get paid NOTHING.

“And we get paid NOTHING.”

Shoulda joined a union.

Taking a call from the Koch.

Relishing the dog

Tenderizing the steak

Pull the lever (Kronk)

Receiving the letters

sorry

Going in through the out door.

Self, with benefits.

Polishing the kiwi

Oh, wait. Wrong sex act. Sorry.

Educating Clyde

Chasing the chubby

Sound of one hand clapping

Herring the bimler

Waxing nostalgic.

*sigh*

Marry me, T&U.

popping the zombie

Bimmling the herring?

Oh, wait. Wrong sex act. Sorry.

Yeah, that’s Thursdays thread.

Polishing the trophy

buffing the bubba

A date with Rosie Palms?

bopping the bastard

How come you have to get new glasses all the time?

Texting the intern

squeezing the substance

Drag ‘n Drop

chucking the wang

“Elmer sure is in the barn alot!”

Objectively Pro-Alone Head

Oooops, that’s Fridays thread.

And I’m spent.

slapping the fish

hey, wait a minute…

So if Jay is, er, churning the butter, does that make him a curdslinger?

“Who used all the hot water?”

Marry me, T&U.

Wow, I’ve never had my name used in reference to masturbation quite like that before.

Launching the pocket rocket

Emptying the toothpaste tube from the bottom

“Wow, I’ve never had my name used in reference to masturbation quite like that before.”

To your knowledge……

Pinching the orphan

I know I’m late to the thread, but I’m a nurse who raised two kids asa single parent. From the time my kids were 8 & 10 we went somewhere else every year- Asia, Australia, Central America- because I prioritized travel over almost everything else, and budgeted for it. Fuck the scum who say working people shouldn’t have what they want. Fuck ’em hard. I’m with the upthread poster who said if the American people don’t dump the Republicans now, there’s not much left worth saving in this country. I know some good places in other parts of the world, though. Darwin, anyone? Norway? Honduras??

Oh shit! Can’t you knock first!

Oh, yeah. I’m a UNION nurse.

Someone besides Jonah at NRO tries comedy and proves that Jonah really is their best hope for wit.

Rogaine-ing the palms.

Wait. You’re a nurse AND a mother?

Uh, I’ll be in my bunk.

Massaging T&U’s ankle

To your knowledge……

This is true. And creepy.

Hehhehing the indeedy

Making knuckle babies

I’ll wash it as long and as often as I want.

The fact is, piss and shit.

Making knuckle babies

Four knuckle shuffle

mark f, I think there’s a bit more than humor here. How do you spell Oedipus Complex?

It’s obvious to me that none of you has ever read Thoreau’s essay “Civil Disobedience,” which was one of the sacred texts of my father’s youth and which I was forced to memorize as a child, reciting it at cell meetings and dinner parties just before we all joined in singing “The Internationale.”

Yes, like all good sixties radicals, the sainted “Che” Kahane was raised to believe that there is nothing more important, no higher moral calling, than Sticking It to the Man.

OT: Fellers, you remember Deputy Attorney General Jeff “Muammar” Cox of Indiana?

Adios, mother fucker!

Pawning the Koch

Massaging T&U’s ankle

I’m not……..okay, whatever.

RELEASING THE KRAKEN!!!!

Adios, mother fucker!

Woot!

Advocating the live ammo.

I know some good places in other parts of the world, though. Darwin, anyone?

You can count Tojo out.

“Someone besides Jonah at NRO tries comedy and proves that Jonah really is their best hope for wit.”

I feel sorry for that guy.

To be fair Mark Steyn and someone who calls himself Iowahawk are supposedly both very funny. I haven’t seen any evidence on either count.

Adios, mother fucker!

If he had been represented by a union, he could have fought this termination. **SNERK**

Mark Steyn is not funny. In fact, the world is less funny simply because of his presence in it.

If he had been represented by a union, he could have fought this termination. **SNERK**

Big Bad Bald Bastard shoots and scores!

More from mark f’s link:

And Thoreau was their Virgil, guiding them past the shoals of accommodationist danger in the Inferno that was Nixon’s Amerikkka.

David Kahane is Michael Walsh.

Executing a manual override

David Kahane is Michael Walsh.

Oooookaaay, so if I get this right David Kahane is a parody troll and NRO doesn’t get it?

For some reason, I always confuse Michael Walsh with Peter Walsh, and I’m like, “Why are they so mean to that nice Australian man from Clean Sweep?” Then I realize that I am dumb.

if I get this right David Kahane is a parody troll and NRO doesn’t get it?

I think NRO gets it. Judging from the comments on his other posts about half the readers don’t.

Apparently the line that cannot be crossed is advocating the killing of unarmed citizens. That is something I suppose.

I’m not comfortable with conservatives being music or film critics.

Chalking the Beck blackboard.

Still, the gist of the post shows a bit too much pathology to be entirely parody.

Red Dawn was shafted when it didn’t get an Academy Award. Not enough conservative movie crtics.

Shafting the movie

gist

heh

Running the reel-to-reel

Reading the comments at NRO

Well, if you were this sharp and funny and couldn’t get better gigs than Disney Channel movies, you’d be pissed too:

Three Days of the Dodo Bird.

We open in Abu Ghraib prison, post-“Mission Accomplished,” where a SHADOWY CIA AGENT gets the bright idea to strike fear into the hearts of America’s “enemies” by photographing completely innocent prisoners in outrageous situations (piled naked on top of each other, led around on a dog leash by a woman, forced to wear panties on their heads) calculated to offend and inflame the sensibilities of the Religion of Peace. Now, you and I both know that these kinds of things happen every week at the right Hollywood parties, and they’re tons of fun, but for some weird cultural reason the photos are deemed offensive, the super-top-secret psy-war campaign winds up on the front page of the Times every day for a year, and the Shi’ites hit the fan.

Oh, and it’s timely, too. He wrote that in 2009.

Toward the end of my senior year I started looking for a job. Our school had a placement office where available positions were posted on a bulletin board. The year I graduated the board was mostly bare, except for jobs in fast food as an “assistant manager”, or in a school in rural Georgia teaching the three R’s. I thought teaching might be a possibility, particularly since I couldn’t find work any where else. In other words, teaching was my last choice. Why? Because it paid so poorly, because the hours were so long, and because the parents of the children could be a real pain in the ass. I knew this because my mother was a school teacher. I knew from personal experience what the life of a teacher is like. So this comment really pisses me off:

“A lot of us can’t take a july trip to Europe, because we don’t get enough time off from work. ON the other hand, a lot of us make a little more money than teachers, since we work 260+ days a year, instead of 200+ days a year.”

My mother taught ten months out of twelve. During the “regular” work week, she was at the school from 7:30 in the morning until 4:30 to 5:00 in the afternoon and in the evenings she worked until 10:00 or even 11:00 at night grading papers, preparing class lessons, writing tests, talking to parents on the telephone….Her days were not, were never, eight hour days. Her weekends were also spent working on school related matters. In fact, I cannot remember a day during the ten month year she worked that she did not have something school related to do. Even at the grocery store the parents of her students would grab her and insist on a conversation about their children. My mother would always stop and listen and do her best to be helpful. I was always amazed that she could even remember the student’s names, much less their performance and problems in class. But I stray.

Ten months of six and one half day work weeks add up to exactly 260 days. But these are 10 and 12 hour days, not eight hour days. Therefore someone who works an 8 hour a day job actually works 520 hours less (at the minimum) than a public school teacher. In addition, my mother had to stay abreast of her subject (subjects actually, since she taught several), which meant going to the University to stay qualified, and this at her own expense.

In those days a public school teacher did not earn enough to support a family, barely earned enough to support themselves. My mother’s paycheck helped make ends meet in our house. We never considered a trip to Europe. Maybe if we were lucky we might get to go to Panama City Beach for a week during August, when the sand was too hot to walk on and the rates the lowest. Those were the happy days, as I recall.

Zipping the wet suit.

Ha! Joke’s on you, loony libs! Soon I’ll be rolling in the wingnut welfare dough.

David Kahane is Michael Walsh.

I’d never heard of Walsh, but Amazon confirms he’s a guy whose novel I picked up in an airport last Thanksgiving for about a minute. He appears to be the latest in a long line of Tom Clancy wannabes writing conservative superhero porn.

Somewhere lost in all the adoring reviews on Amazon, a conservative ex-military dude gives him one star and goes on to post, “It’s something that should be given to people who think they want to try writing commercial fiction, with the admonition: “Just avoid writing anything like this.””

Now, you and I both know that these kinds of things happen every week at the right Hollywood parties, and they’re tons of fun, but for some weird cultural reason the photos are deemed offensive

How odd that the notion of “consent” would be lost on a conservative.

Shutting down the government.

TruculentandUnreliable said,

February 23, 2011 at 22:13

For some reason, I always confuse Michael Walsh with Peter Walsh, and I’m like, “Why are they so mean to that nice Australian man from Clean Sweep?” Then I realize that I am dumb.

Well, that wussy little chin-scruff of a beard of his does really annoy me.

Pulling a pint.

Going Galt.

Hard-drive crash.

And, given the lack of structural engineering humor in this thread: erecting the next tier.

Shrugging the Atlas

McCardlin’ the post

Just doing it.

Pastoring the Swankster

Coaxing the coxswain

(Sorry, I can’t stop rhyming things with “Wisconsin”)

(Sorry, I can’t stop rhyming things with “Wisconsin”)

Tolling the tocsin.

Powerlining the Assrocket

Niddling the Nordlinger

Reading Bobo.

Voting in the primary. (If you think about, it’s a double double entendre.)

“Reading Bobo.”

That’s just sick and twisted N_B.

Looking at Nordnord’s forhead it appears he is mutating into a Klingon.

I am horrified, as baby-faced AAG Cox here bears a more than passing resemblance to ME (when I was considerably younger than my current model).

Of course, I wouldn’t be caught dead in fucking Chargers gear. That just makes him a double asshole.

And, points to Tintin for the less obvious Toiletshop®

Charging the battery.

Jumping rope.

Borking the thread.

Proof that free markets are best. A free market in fucking begging, that is.

We need more lady-related ones. Of course, nothing will ever beat “juicing the papaya.”

M., that photo on the AS page is bizarre. It looks like a guy holding a mask in front of his face.

Bruceing the Bat Cave.

Unreleasing the Kraken.

Horseheading the nebula.

Starring in straight-male porn.

We need more lady-related ones. Of course, nothing will ever beat “juicing the papaya.”

Double-clicking the mouse

Mashing the button
Saucing the taco
Feeding the sarlacc

Impeaching the Bush

M., that photo on the AS page is bizarre. It looks like a guy holding a mask in front of his face.

That’s his official back-of-the-book jacket author shot, I believe. There’s certainly some sort of disconnection between his hair & head.

Impeaching the Bush

Quoting the Peaches.

There’s certainly some sort of disconnection between his hair & head.

He’s a cyborg–that part peels off.

Copypasting the mango

more lady-related ones.

Well ladies don’t do that, do they?

Polishing the pearl

Cleaning the Oyster

Dewing the Lily

Dur, may I revise the second one to “shucking the oyster”?

It has been pointed to me earlier that all the masturbation euphamisms follow the ssame formula:

[verb,sometimes in present tense, prospective aspect] the [noun]

Which makes it hard for me not to laugh when I hear people declaring they intend to:
-defend the constitution
-protect the liberty

This applies to most teabagger oneliners.

As for a favorite term, there is always the the song one.

Bailing the canoe

I suppose it depends on how you define “lady.”

Toading the wet sprocket

Steaming the clam

Oiling up the ol’ catcher’s mitt

Palin the Sarah
Malkinizing Michele
Coulterizing the vagina area which does not contain a penis so as not to upset VS by making a tranny joke O.K.*

(although coulterizing does sound like it may involve a blow torch.)

Thanks, gocart. I’m never masturbating again.

I’m never masturbating again.

Pictures or it didn’t…oh wait.

Way to kill the thread, WC.

Freezing the fish.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-rape_device

An anti-rape device is one of a variety of devices invented for the purpose of preventing or deterring rape. The first such devices were the chastity belts of the 15th century. Recent designs have been inspired as a response to very high rates of rape in places like South Africa.

An early prototypical anti-rape female tampon was invented in late 2000 by Jaap Haumann, a South African man, for the purpose of preventing rape.[1] Haumann’s device was designed to resemble a tampon for ease of insertion, and consisted of a hard cylindrical plastic core containing a tensioned spring blade primed to slice when pressed against by the tip of a penis. Following activation, a portion of the tip of the penis would be removed, in effect performing a minor penectomy.

Rape-aXe
An anti-rape female condom using a different design was invented by Sonnet Ehlers, a South African woman. Ehler was motivated to create it while working as a blood technician with the South African Blood Transfusion Service, during which time she met many rape victims. Ehler mentioned that she was inspired to create RAPEX (later renamed to Rape-aXe) when a patient who had been raped stated, “If only I had teeth down there,”[2] suggesting the myth of the vagina dentata. Initially called RapeX, the name was changed in 2006 upon discovering that RAPEX is also an EU warning system against dangerous goods on the market.
The Rape-aXe is a latex sheath embedded with shafts of sharp, inward-facing barbs that would be worn by a woman in her vagina like a female condom. If an attacker were to attempt vaginal rape, his penis would enter the latex sheath and be snagged by the barbs, causing the attacker excruciating pain during withdrawal and giving the victim time to escape. The condom would remain attached to the attacker’s body when he withdrew and could only be removed surgically,[3] which would alert hospital staff and police. Like most condoms, Rape-aXe also usually prevents pregnancy and the transmission of HIV and sexually transmitted Infections.
Rape-aXe was unveiled on August 31, 2005 in South Africa. Mass production was scheduled to begin in April 2007.[4

Weaponized vaginas. Is nothing sacred?

Instantiating the object.

S’all I got.

Greasing the skid? Nah, wrong act.

Felling a tree in the forest.

Falling asleep, because sex is boring, also dull.

Hucking a bee.

Icing the puck.

Falling off the Segway.

Weaponized vaginas. Is nothing sacred?

You mess with the cow, you get the, er…

I’ll come back in.

Busting the union.

zombie rotten mcdonald said,

Ahem.

Coming in again.

That’s what I get for skimming the thread. Ahemmed by Oregon Beer Snob.

Sorry.

…hey, “Skimming the Thread.”

Also, Ahemming the poster.

Pranking the Guv’nor.

Pupienus Maximus said,

February 24, 2011 at 0:13

Instantiating the object.

S’all I got.

Along similar lines:

Unit testing.

Waltzing with the badger

Falling asleep, because sex is boring, also dull.

Ur doin it rong.

Unit testing.

Percussive testing.

Measuring the area under the curve

Are we still masturbating? Sorry, derailed the living shit out of this thread.

Ur doin it rong.

Higher spiritual plane.

Splitting the beaver
Arranging the drapes
Skinning the wooly mussel
Answering the flesh blackberry
Cleaving the carpet
Brushing your gums

Instantiating the object.

Dereferencing the pointer.

Wait. You’re a nurse AND a mother?
Uh, I’ll be in my bunk.

And a union member.

Inducting the member.

Looking at Nordnord’s forhead it appears he is mutating into masturbating a Klingon.

fixified for thread relevance

‘Rocking the tuna boat’ is a venerable favorite, of course, but lacks subtlety; therefore I suggest ‘epoxying the hull,’ which sounds cleverer.

Okay, not working. From the top, please. And-a one and-a two —

Oregon Beer Snob said,
Unit testing.
Whale Chowder said,
Smut Clyde said,

Passing the thunk.
Filling the stack frame.
Parsing the token

Why do I suspect that Substance is working on a JanusNode incarnation for this meme?

Hey, just got back from my bunk. What up?

And a union member.

Oh,,, I’ll be in my bunk.

Also, too

We need more lady-related ones.

Plugging in the Magic Wand
Riding the Dryer
Thinking About D-KW

Plugging in the Magic Wand

I’ll be in my bunk.

Immanentizing the eschaton.

“Being” in my bunk.

Apparently.

Freeing the pointer
Updating the hash table

…and for you Wall Street types:

Cornering the market

Outhouse is outraged. Raw footage PROVES BEYOND SHADOW OF DOUBT that muni salt trucks — salt trucks, no less — were driving in front of her vehicle at some point. Or whatnot. I’m not 100% certain what her point is.

Plugging in the Magic Wand

I’ll be in my bunk.

…Don’t forget to switch on the dehumidifier. Nobody wants chapped lips.

I’m not 100% certain what her point is.

Union supporters are violent.

And salty.

I dunno, maybe that truck drivers were shirking their duty in not spreading salt? MAybe that they were using taxpayer funded trucks to do it, which invalidates the entire labor movement? Maybe that happy hour hasn’t started yet and she is twitchy?

The thing to notice about the salt-truck post is that she has a donation link on her blog. Being on the public payroll in Wisconsin don’t pay the bills.

Spreading the salt
Honking the ol’ municipal truck horn
Taking some raw video

Honking the ol’ municipal truck horn

I laughed like a twelve year old.

Folding the laundry.

“They aren’t plowing! They’re just honking!”

Um, Ann? I know it may be hard to tell in a drunken haze, but there is no snow for the trucks to plow.

You know WHO ELSE spread salt?

Replacing your keyboard.

Quoting Monty Python.

Adjusting the straps on your accordion.

Punking Scott Walker.

Tuning the banjolele

Thanks folks, I’ve been smiling all day, despite the pathetic politics of the real world.
I’m going to head across the street for a beer or three and wait for the pending West Coast snowpacolypse to hit. Have a nice evening.

Picking the Wildwood Flower.

I’m going to head across the street for a beer or three and wait for the pending West Coast snowpacolypse to hit.

Yes, that whole two inches you’re getting is fucking killer, dude.

rodertrudis: I liked your story.

Chasing the dragon

Ploughing the snow.
No, wait, drug references are Friday threads.

Isn’t it Friday?

“And salty.”

I am not salty–I’m zesty!

Ok, and sometimes I use…zesty language. Zesty Cool Ranch language…

”
Quoting Monty Python.”

I’ll be in my bunk…

said the woman who was wearing her “It’s just a flesh wound” t-shirt yesterday.

Yes, that whole two inches you’re getting is fucking killer, dude.

It’s all about the girth.

It’s all about the girth.

Built like a tuna can…

Yes, that whole two inches you’re getting is fucking killer, dude.

… AND ANOTHER 1 TO 2 INCHES THURSDAY FOR THE LOWLANDS AND COAST. TOTAL SNOW ACCUMULATIONS OF 3 TO 7 INCHES ARE POSSIBLE

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.MAINLY IN THE HIGHER HILLS..

Choking the bat.
Stroking the dinger.
Hitting the batsman.
Pulling the reliever.
Running it out.
Warming-up the bullpen.
Fouling it off.
Popping it up.
Squeezing at home.
Advancing the runner.

TOTAL SNOW ACCUMULATIONS OF 3 TO 7 INCHES ARE POSSIBLE

Ooooooooo…. NYC Sadlies will feel your pain. Midwestern and Plains Sadlies too.

Folding the laundry.

Folding, like ironing, is FASCISM!!

Take off your uniform before it’s too late.

Ooooooooo…. NYC Sadlies will feel your pain. Midwestern and Plains Sadlies too.

Nah, where PM lives they’re probably only going to get two inches or so. But they’ll be all like, “OH NOES! I can’t walk to one of the one billion food carts in this deep, deep snow! I will starve!”

Take off your uniform before it’s too late.

You’ve got something against the New York Cubans?

No, I’m not jealous. Why do you ask?

You’re not jalousie? Are you venetian blind?

We’ll probably get some of that snow here in the LA foothills. This time of year, when it rains, there’s snow from 500-800 feet higher up. But every once in a while the snow makes it all the way into town. The last time was 1994, I think.

Winning the Pulitzer
Answering the phone
Playing Angrybirds
Solving for n
Making a sandwich
Changing the vacuum cleaner bag

Fisting yourself in the ass

Did you really just make a window dressing pun?

Did you really just make a window dressing pun?

I swag ger.

I swag ger.

I just wanted to make curtain.

No more window jokes. They give me a pane, regardless of how they’re framed or how carefully they’ve been mullioned over.

Operating the tilt-out clerestory
Painting the muntins
Polishing the oriel
Hanging the sash
Framing the casement
Soldering the leading
Ironing the transom curtains
Shading the skylight
Immersing your balls in crushed ice

Immersing your balls in crushed ice

I laughed so explosively that the sleeping cat on my lap dashed away in fear. She only does that when I’m smoking the devil weed.

I’ve stained the thread.

Heard today at the local hair salon. In Texas.

This one followed immediately after.

I’m not sure but it might have been a theme – or maybe a chronological progression.

That reminds me–I heard a Tears for Fears song on an “oldies” station the other day.

Okay, no. I’m thirty. I have at LEAST ten years before anything released in my childhood can be called an “oldie.”

Startling the sleeping cat

Okay, no. I’m thirty

Christ’s danglers, I was 14 when you were born. I’m not old enough to be aware of intelligent adults that were born when I was 14.

Being sick sucks many varieties of bawlz. I’d like to play…but my body is like “nothing doing, douchenozzle.” And so I must now visit the land of Nod, where the sparkleponies frolic…but cover their backsides when New Zealanders are around.

With the exception of a few laughably bad Rasmussen polls,

And one completely misrepresenting Fox poll.

Defenestrating the Banker.

Shoveling the snow.

I’m not old enough to be aware of intelligent adults that were born when I was 14.

Oooh, don’t ask Chris how old he is.

Also, I’m intelligent! Yay!

Oooh, don’t ask Chris how old he is.

One score and three years ago, I was born. And there was much rejoicing.

I think you’re more intellilady.

Yes, that whole two inches you’re getting is fucking killer, dude.

Oh, I know. I’m not the one dubbing it the snowpacolypse, but to listen to the news you’d think the world was ending.

The world is ending for the hipsters on their fixies though, how will they get to the coffee shop for their fourteenth breve of the day?

And, for the record, only two beers, but one of them was 10%. For some reason I have a feeling the hot college-age waitresses don’t think I’m nearly as clever as I know I am. Hmph.

Oh, and dammit ZRM, you beat me to the “defenestrating”! Fah!

See?

Spengler, you could be his DAD.

Can I take that back?

Ho-ho-hooolleee shit!
Clone Hall outdoes itself with Terry ‘my name is not at all gay’ Jeffrey. Money quote:

What Wisconsin ought to be debating is whether these public school teachers should keep their jobs at all.

Then every state ought to follow Wisconsin in the same debate.

It is time to drive public schools out of business by driving them into an open marketplace where they must directly compete with schools not run by the government or staffed by members of parasitic public employees’ unions.

Wow, so public schools should be… wow. You just went ahead and said it.

The news that Netflix will be streaming Star Trek episodes caused one commentator to commentate, “I think I just downloaded into my tunic.”

The friend who sent me the link to the commentated story wondered if there might be a steampunk version, so I suggested, “I believe I may have condensed into my water-jacket.”

T&U: damn, that’s cold.

I am ashamed. All this euphemization and no one has gone with the classic.

DO A BARREL ROLL!

Depending on one’s definition of “in town,” I think the last time it snowed & stuck in L.A. proper was 1949, not ’94.

Last time in S.F. was 1960 or something. Close to an inch.

But let me tell you other side of the Rockies types about actual cold & suffering. Just went out for butts, wearing a T-shirt & denim jacket, & my perky little nipples erected!

Who gives a shit about Star Trek? That ain’t good for nothing except slash fic. I want a 24-7 stream of Red Dawn.

One of the waitresses I was badly flirting with talking to had never seen, or even heard of, “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”. I’m a million years old.

Wait, including the original series?

Could I be his daddy? Jes askin…

*the sexual harassment seems to have abated, unfortunately, during my S,N! hiatus. I do what I can.

T&U: damn, that’s cold.

I know! I’m sorry.I meant it as a joke. Sometimes my fingers are faster than my conscience.

Condensing the Bose-Einstein phase.

You’ve got something against the New York Cubans?

Huh? Different reference, I think.

(Have “done it” w/ a Chicago Cuban, however.)

I’m a million years old.

No. She’s just ignorant.

Oh, and

flirting with a waitress

and

ordering a beer

might oughta be euphemisms.

You’ve got something against the New York Cubans?

Huh? Different reference, I think.

I have a shirt that’s a reasonable facsimile of a uniform jersey from the Negro League team the NY Cubans.

Tipping the waitron.

Depending on one’s definition of “in town,” I think the last time it snowed & stuck in L.A. proper was 1949, not ’94.

San Gabriel foothills, man. When I say ‘town’ I don’t mean ‘Town.’ It’s like the difference between the book and the Book.

We have altitude. I can see Russia from my lanai.

Wait, including the original series?

Objectively the worst of all.

Hmph. Whendid I last comment from my iPhone I wonder. That fuckwad was, surprise surprise, moi.

EuphemismYWP

You know what this Wisconsin story really needs?

Serious journalism.

Smash teh Skoolz! They is orl sosherlistic! We dontz nead no edyoucashun!
Just reading Spengler’s quote made me think of John Hodgeman on the Daily Show

Charming the quark

Wow, so public schools should be… wow. You just went ahead and said it.

Did you see this?

Solving the Time Independent Schroedinger Equation

Serious journalism.

That was more informative than the networks have been.

Teh superfluous e is for an unresolved eigenstate.

Reading aloud the end of Ulysses.

Did you see this?

Yeah, that….completely makes sense.

Am I delusional, or was there a point in time in this country in which leaders actually, oh, I don’t know…lead?

was there a point in time in this country in which leaders actually, oh, I don’t know…lead?

FDR: I welcome their hatred.

Measuring the aether. Alas.

Negro League team the NY Cubans

Well, I know that, silly. (Just didn’t know you had a jersey therefrom. My Chicago Cuban gave me her late brothers Cubs jersey, but it was all polyester, & irritated my nipples, so the Good Will got it.)

Firing all the teachers

The euphemism to end all euphemisms: Irritating Bouffant’s Nipples.

Wow, Rhode Island loses an entire school district. That won’t go well. I lived in Providence for a while. It needs all the primary education it can get.

The end is near. That’s why I hang with the Rolands

Adults should get payed what teachers get paid just to babysit 20 or 30 kids at a time. What the hell?

Raging impotently at the collapse of the edifice of our society

Wait, that doesn’t work.

You know what this Wisconsin story really needs?

Serious journalism.

I anxiously await the new Sadly, No! series of photoshops of teabaggers w/ teapots on their heads.

Effing the ineffable.
Scruting the inscrutable.

Wait…no, just forget I sed that.

Dreaming the impossible dream.

Fighting the unbeatable foe.

Running where the brave dare not go.

Wow. I just saw the R.I. link. I guess homeschooling is next.

Wait…no, just forget I sed that.

Mmkay:

s/Effing the ineffable.|Scruting the inscrutable.//g

Damn, this is the saddest thing I’ve ever read. EVAR.

Rhode Island State Motto: Hope.

N__B, please please please don’t get me going on Pippin!

Bobbing for Fosse.

Riding in a surrey with a fringe on top.

Seventy-sixing a trombone.

Jazz hands.

Oregon Beer Snob said,

Well played sir! Martini or Perhaps a New Old Lompoc Bald Guy Brown?

Schooling three little maids.

Oooooooklahomosexual
where the queens come screaming ‘cross the plains

Apprenticing a pirate.

Hello-ing Dolly

Dreaming the impossible dream.
If you mean the one with Kate Beckinsale, I prefer to classify that as “highly improbable”.

Loving Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

CONSIDERING TEH BUTTOCKS.

Dreaming the impossible dream.
If you mean the one with Kate Beckinsale

In your dream, she gives you a miniature mop to clean the dishes, yes?

Loving Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Dicking the Van Dyke. No wait…

Eighty-sixing the cheese steak. What’s this about? Sorry, I’ve been down the street, my favorite singers are in town. Las Chicas Roland! Don’t Worry, Be Happy!

Puffing the magic dragon

I had another one, but Jim made me larf and I forgot it.

Huffing and puffing and blowing three little pigs.

Wolfing one’s food.

Reaching across the aisle.

Eating the whole bowl of porridge.

Chewing the fat.

Tanning the Boehner.

Well played sir! Martini or Perhaps a New Old Lompoc Bald Guy Brown?

OR?!?!?

I caught my kid ‘preparing Canard à l’Orange‘ if you know what I’m saying.

The whole place smelled like butter.

He was in the garage.

Smelling the butter

foxing the stoat

Grinding the stone

I started laughing at “Educating Clyde” and now I’m at “Tanning the Boehner” and I’m still laughing. Plus now I’m worried that I won’t ever reach peak hilarity, if you know what I mean. I’ll just keep laughing and laughing, and maybe when I can’t do that any more, I’ll just teach.

The end is near. That’s why I hang with the Rolands

Watching the Rolands

Spritzing the Cheez Whiz.

Having just spent the last bit transferring a stout from its primary fermenters to the secondaries, I just have this to add:

Scrubbing the fermenter.

(With a vigorous up-and-down motion hitherto unknown to the peoples of this area, but destined to take the place of the mudshark in their mythology.)

Buffing the Bouffant

Molesting the Malignant

No, no. Cheez Whiz sex is not a solitary activity. One exudes the cheese product over one’s associate (in clever designs, if one is aesthetic) & precedes to remove the product from the associate’s body, using whatever methods one can imagine.

push polling
splitting hairs
waxing nostalgic
plug n play
preserving our freedom
reducing the deficit
white flight
feeling bullish

Sorry, need to excuse myself (runs, throws up in mouth)

FYI: My dog will only take his pills when they’re smothered in Cheez Whiz.

Channelling history

Earlier today I turned on the History Channel. I was thinking that if they are paying any attention at all to what is currently going on in this country they would currently be running everything they have on the history of worker’s rights in America. Reminding us all what it was like before the unions and the sacrifices, up to and including peoples lives, that were made to give us the rights we currently enjoy in the workplace. But, Sadly, No! they were just showing another episode of Top Shot, whatever the fuck that has to do with history.

I thought the History Channel, a.k.a. The Hitler Channel, only had shows about all the awesome, glorious, delightful, just, wars in the past…?

FYI: My dog will only take his pills when they’re smothered in Cheez Whiz.

that’s fucking sick, dude.

The History Channel is total shit now, & to think that a mere 15 yrs. ago it was tolerable.

History International isn’t nearly as bad, but at this very instant I am watching a pogrom about insects in the Cretaceous or somewhen. Isn’t “history” about humanoids, not bugs? (Looked it up: Yes.)

Having just spent the last bit transferring a stout from its primary fermenters to the secondaries

I initially read that as “stoat”. Imagine my concern.

that’s fucking sick, dude

I wasn’t going to tell you all the story of the guy I knew in sixth grade who had trained his dachshund to put a lip lock on his love muscle (OBS made me wonder if this was how what’s-his-name trained his dog) but I think zrm should be made to understand real sickness.

Sounds like the internets are planning to wage war on Fred Phelps Ministries.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-501465_162-20033942-501465.html

YEA!

Your concern no longer imagined.

We, the collective super-consciousness known as ANONYMOUS – the Voice of Free Speech & the Advocate of the People – have long heard you issue your venomous statements of hatred, and we have witnessed your flagrant and absurd displays of inimitable bigotry and intolerant fanaticism. We have always regarded you and your ilk as an assembly of graceless sociopaths and maniacal chauvinists & religious zealots, however benign, who act out for the sake of attention & in the name of religion

Update on Phelps: Was “Anonymous” church threat a hoax?

Considering that the WBC’s sole (or at least largest source of) income comes from suing those who harass them when they are harassing others, jumping ugly w/ them may not have been such a wise idea.

(With a vigorous up-and-down motion hitherto unknown to the peoples of this area, but destined to take the place of the mudshark in their mythology.)

Up on the backstroke, indeed!

History International isn’t nearly as bad, but at this very instant I am watching a pogrom about insects in the Cretaceous or somewhen. Isn’t “history” about humanoids, not bugs?

Diss the bugs, you’re out of the will! Is there a link for the Cretaceous bug show? AFAF

I initially read that as “stoat”. Imagine my concern.

I think stoat stout has the potential to rival snake year sherry in popularity.

Heck, I’ve seen teachers buy brand name cereal even.

“I am watching a pogrom about insects in the Cretaceous or somewhen.”

Holy crap. There are Jewish insects? In the Cretaceous? I did not know.

Holy crap. There are Jewish insects? In the Cretaceous? I did not know.

Aincha ever heard of the Maccabees?

Heck, I’ve seen teachers buy brand name cereal even.

Parasites, I wish Sugar Bear would go galt!

Ooh, BBBB, you are good.

Holy crap. There are Jewish insects? In the Cretaceous? I did not know.

Jerusalem crickets, man.

Ooh, Spengler, you are okay.

Holy crap. There are Jewish insects? In the Cretaceous? I did not know.

Alright, gonna pull out all the nerd stops here…

The Cretaceous say a marked rise in the diversity of the Chaimenoptera.

Now it all makes sense. L’chaimenoptera!

Now it all makes sense. L’chaimenoptera!

That’s what you say when you “toast” your aunt!

It works if you are a WASP, too.

See, I learned stuff from the pogrom M. Bouffant was watching. This place is edumacational.

It works if you are a WASP, too.

Honey, you’re funny!

FYI: My dog will only take his pills when they’re smothered in Cheez Whiz.

that’s fucking sick, dude.

The worst part is that they are suppositories.

Heck, I’ve seen teachers buy brand name cereal even.

Brand name cereal is a sucker’s game, even if you’re a Koch. Try the Malt-o-Meal family of fine bagged imitations.

Also, what really goes on in the Anti-Podean under-world: Swamp Lesbians!! (Some seriously demented stuff.)

Mr. B/4*, I’ll get a link for you.

*VeiledDillingerReference

Maximizing the Pupienus
Mozarting the Gocart
Wangchunging the Dragon King
Spengling the Dampniche
Threading the Bear
Rotting the Zombie
Unreliably Trunculating

Best I can do ya. The Hist Int site sux.

Watching the Detectives

Everyday I Write The Book

The Greatest Love

Hand In Hand

Having It All

Hidden Shame

Home Is Anywhere You Hang Your Head

Human Hands

I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself

I Throw My Toys Around

I Wanna Be Loved

I Want To Stand Forever

I’m Coming Home
I’m Coming Through
I’m In The Mood Again
I’m Not Angry
I’m Your Toy

Inch By Inch
Indoor Fireworks

Jack Of All Parades
Jimmie Standing In The Rain
The Last Town I Painted
Leave My Kitten Alone
Let Him Dangle
Love Hurts
Love That Burns
Make It Easy On Yourself

Mystery Dance

The Night Before Larry Was Stretched

No Action

Pump It Up

The Trike Brigade must be taking video lessons from O’Keefe. Victims of a dropped iphone? The guy accused of, um, well, they don’t say exactly except to call whatever happened “thuggery”. Pinkelephantpun’s twitter says that she filed a police report. Can we get a copy of that? For what? Dropping her iphone? And the thug, yeah, he moves his sign up over his face, once, and he smiles but that’s about it as far as I see. In fact, the tone of their voices makes it sound like they dropped the camera and then said “Hey, we can accuse you of that.” or something.

This is a lovely line coming from a Freedomworks employee: “Amazingly enough, none of those crazy right wing extremists ever hit me.”

http://www.redstate.com/tabithahale/2011/02/23/union-thuggery-descends-on-freedomworks/

Not quite comparable to being wrestled to the ground & having one’s face stepped on, eh?

Mr. B/4*, I’ll get a link for you.

Athankee!

*VeiledDillingerReference

Any Dillinger references are appreciated.

Also, what really goes on in the Anti-Podean under-world: Swamp Lesbians!! (Some seriously demented stuff.)

Lordy-loo, that’s some serious lunacy. D00d totally re-interprets the history of Western Civilization.

I thought it might be a parody but the unrelenting viciousness and complete lack of any introspection (you know maybe we should go and see that doctor again) makes me think that it’s the real deal and I’ve seen some of their language in NZ’s rightwing nutjob magazine “Investigate” I think it is a local website.

I think it is a local website.

AK, did some mercury get in the last batch of Christmas ale?

No one who doesn’t live in NZ would bother to hate it that much. (See: Me & America, though these “exceptional” United Snakes can be deserving of plenty hate from the non-resident.) Of course his issues w/ women may have something to do w/ something.

BBBB: These guys should not be having alcohol and Christmas Ale would be too real for them.
MB I think his issues with women might explain a lot. Why he only ever has rubberised bed sheets for a start.

Of course his issues w/ women may have something to do w/ something.

Well, to give the guy the benefit of doubt, every single woman he’s ever met has been a lesbian.

OT blog pimp: a long post on the Christchurch quake is up at my place. I’m away from my desk – at a mansion in the Bronx, if you want some cognitive dissonance for breakfast – but will answer questions when I’m back at the keyboard.

at a mansion in the Bronx, if you want some cognitive dissonance for breakfast

Smart money says Bartow-Pell.

The race is not always to the swift, nor the first to the strong, but that’s where the smart money bets. Yup, B-P.

Uh…fight, not first. Too fucking early…

If you’re traveling on the 6 train, stop by Zeppieri’s on Westchester Ave by Buhre Ave- best sfogliatelle in the Bronx, and that’s saying something.

The Ancestral Homestead is in the neighborhood, on the Bay-side of the expressway.

The History Channel according to my sister: “All of history is war, and 90% of war is World War Two.” Here endeth the lesson.

OT blog pimp: a long post on the Christchurch quake is up at my place.

Sheesh, I waxed nostalgic about Peep-O-Rama.

I waxed nostalgic about Peep-O-Rama.

That’s a different kind of harmonic motion.

That’s a different kind of harmonic motion.

And un-reinforced structures!

Punking the Guvna

What? I didnt get to play last night.

What? I didnt get to play last night.

You don’t need an excuse!

Buffalo-ing the beast

Speaking of Fred Phelps: His name should be invoked by our side every time someone mentions the Muslim Brotherhood or sharia law being a problem. As in, “Oh yeah, the Muslim Brotherhood has about as much chance of being the majority in Egypt as the Fred Phelps brand of Christianity being the majority in America.”

“Buffalo-ing the beast”

I had not heard of that site til yesterday. Happy to have found it.

Rick Santorum, via Politico:

“The idea that the Crusades and the fight of Christendom against Islam is somehow an aggression on our part is absolutely anti-historical”

Nah. We don’t need no stinkin’ history.

From the comments at Red State: Brutal assault or trenchant observation? You decide.

“If there aren’t police at an event they will get violent. At the protest in Denver one guy (apparently a fireman, by the big FIRE on his jacket) walked up to me and said, “are you part of the Tea Party”? I said yes and he said “you’re a f***ing loser” and walked away. These people are not good people.”

spengling the damp niche

WHY DOESN’T ANYONE LISTEN TO ME WHEN I TELL THEM TO IGNORE THE PHELPS CLAN, YOU BASTARDS???

Ahem. Anyway, yeah, that Anonymous thing was totally attention whoredom, as I expected. It’s what they do.

“If there aren’t police at an event they will get violent. At the protest in Denver one guy (apparently a fireman, by the big FIRE on his jacket) walked up to me and said, “are you part of the Tea Party”? I said yes and he said “you’re a f***ing loser” and walked away. These people are not good people.”

1) He was right.

2) I realize the utter trauma teabaggers suffer when they receive anything other than adoring adulation, but just because a person resorts to insults doesn’t mean he’d resort to violence.

I, for instance, am perfectly aware that while teabaggers have turned insulting me and my kind into a 24/7 job, but the majority of them are too much of a bunch of chickenshits to ever actually pull a trigger themselves.

“WHY DOESN’T ANYONE LISTEN TO ME WHEN I TELL THEM TO IGNORE THE PHELPS CLAN, YOU BASTARDS???”

Because they represent religious fundamentalism. Everything they say and do can be justified in the Old Testament. Check out Deuteronomy, Numbers, and Leviticus. It’s all there. And leave my mother’s marital status out of this.

WHY DOESN’T ANYONE LISTEN TO ME WHEN I TELL THEM TO IGNORE THE PHELPS CLAN, YOU BASTARDS???

A few weeks ago, the WBC had a protest on my old campus (AU, infamous for its vocal support of gay rights), which various people said they intended to counterprotest. I happened to be on campus during that time, so I thought I’d drop by.

I stayed for five minutes, four and a half of which were spent wandering through a Woodstock-like event asking “where the hell are the Baptists?” Then I finally found them: less than ten of them, walking around in a circle with their GOD HATES FAGGZES signs, in a designated protest area the size of a Volswagen Beetle, completely drowned out by the sea of counterprotestors (most of whom weren’t even paying attention to them), with the occasional person walking up to them and taking pictures like they were animals in a zoo.

I laughed for about thirty seconds, then walked out.

“are you part of the Tea Party”? I said yes and he said “you’re a f***ing loser” and walked away.

Now we see the violence inherent in the system.

Going on a Crusade.
Reclaiming the Holy Land.

Because they represent religious fundamentalism.

But not really. I mean, they use religious fundamentalism for attention. But ultimately, they’re sociopaths and attention whores, and only about 20 people actually believe what they believe, and they’re all related.

Seriously, the best thing to do with these people is ignore them. I’d rather focus my attention on The Family or Operation Rescue–people who actually have influence.

Sorry if I sound like a dick with this, but as a Kansan who has encountered these fools several times and is aware that most of their “protests” involve five people standing around with signs for a couple of hours until they decide to go get some McDonald’s and head back to Topeka.

FYWP. If my comment’s a duplicate, then why can’t I see it?

Chris–Yeah, they’re a fucking jokes. I mean, protesting people’s funerals is vile beyond belief, but seriously. Just ignore and/or laugh at them.

Oh shit.

I forgot about “f00ls”. Why???

Because they represent religious fundamentalism.

But not really. I mean, they use religious fundamentalism for attention. But ultimately, they’re sociopaths and attention whores, and only about 20 people actually believe what they believe, and they’re all related.

Seriously, the best thing to do with these people is ignore them. I’d rather focus my attention on The Family or Operation Rescue–people who actually have influence.

Sorry if I sound like a dick with this, but as a Kansan who has encountered these f00ls several times and is aware that most of their “protests” involve five people standing around with signs for a couple of hours until they decide to go get some McDonald’s and head back to Topeka.

Walking away is Jew of liberal fascism. What?

Um, wow.

I don’t even know what to say.

Teh sadz is that all this crazy shit is going on, and it’s crazy, sure, but most of it is local phenomena. But local phenomena have a way of suddenly joining together to form a giant crazy robot that HULK SMASH the whole world.

It happened in Yurp twice last century — Germany was the crayzayoodloooiest, but had it not been for all the fuckwitz* in Angleterre, France, Italy, and the US (not to mention various other states in various states etc.) none o’ them world wars might have happened.

So my angst is joining together with my concern, my worries, my fears, and my frustrations to form a giant robot. We’re getting closer and closer to the tipping point when stuff like civil wars, great depressions, Prohibition, Jim Crow, and laws making miscarriages punishable as murder can happen.

Otherwise it’s a fine Thursday morning. I have a meeting today. Neat.

*veiled Clausewitz reference

So my angst is joining together with my concern, my worries, my fears, and my frustrations to form a giant robot.

Don’t read that article. It’s, like, the fucking arm of that bitch.

Oh, I forgot: and when a superpower with the biggest military in the history of organic life can do psy-ops on the civilian government and get away with it. Add that to the esploshin of crazy.

Yes.

Jesus Christ.

“And the LORD our God delivered him before us; and we smote him, and his sons, and all his people. And we took all his cities at that time, and utterly destroyed the men, and the women, and the little ones, of every city, we left none to remain.”

Deuteronomy 2:33-35

“If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.”

Leviticus 20:13

Shall I go on?

Pearl diving (ladies only)
Contemplating the human condition
Punching the clock
Discovering the New World

I’m wondering if we’re a year or a month from the crazy mad cyclone of totes chaos hitting. There is literally nothing being done to slow it down. How long a federal shutdown can a country with bankrupt states endure? An hour? A day? A week?

Obama probably has a suitcase packed in the back of an unremarkable Toyota he’s got parked across the street from his office in case there’s a run on the building. I do wish he’d make an effort, though. Part of me still wants him to do something.

That’s the part of me that dies every day.

Also for the ladies:

Finding their inner Black Swan

Dandle the dewlaps

Sorry, Spengler, but Federal agencies have contingencies in place that are designed to mitigate the effects of a shutdown. For instance, airports will run as normal. I have vehemently protested that we should make people feel a shutdown. But, as usual, I was only yanking my doodle.

Scrub the pastrami bathtub

Call it macaroni

smedley–I guess my point is that they’re completely toothless, and I have absolutely no fear that Phelps is going to win a shitload of converts. The whole Anonymous stunt shows what they’re really about, which is getting attention. There have been INNUMERABLE lawsuits initiated by the Phelps clan, and they’ll protest anything and everything, no matter what it is.

Yeah, they’re fucking odious and hateful. But when we pay attention to them, we give them exactly what they want. They’re like the Tila Tequila of nutballs.

There is literally nothing being done to slow it down. How long a federal shutdown can a country with bankrupt states endure? An hour? A day? A week?

I don’t know, but I heard audio from a town hall meeting with Claire McCaskill last night, and she said something to the effect of “There are going to be substantial cuts at the federal level and people are going to be calling for more, including me.” Yeah, she’s totally on our “side.”

Ugh. My Prozac got caught and is now dissolving halfway down my throat. I hate it when that happens.

Watching Anaconda 4

Smedley, it’s not the gaudy stuff like airports and hospitals shutting down I’m thinking of. It’s the cumulative effect of people not getting their checks, suddenly having their kids at home for a week, not being able to renew their licenses and passports, & c.

During the Bush years I thought we might get devoured by bears, but it looks more likely we’re going to be nibbled to death by goldfish. All these small things, they add up.

By the way, it looks like the Wisconsin gubnor might just get his eeeevil legislation passed. Then he can force the teachers back to work at gunpoint.

Dissolving teh Prozac

Dissolving teh Prozac

It burns!

I mean, they use religious fundamentalism for attention. But ultimately, they’re sociopaths and attention whores […] and they’re all related.

So like he said… they’re fundamentalists.

Seriously, the best thing to do with these people is ignore them. I’d rather focus my attention on The Family or Operation Rescue–people who actually have influence.

I guess my point is that they’re completely toothless, and I have absolutely no fear that Phelps is going to win a shitload of converts.

I agree with all that, actually. And I too think outrage is better spent on bad guys who actually have influence (Focus on the Family, the 700 Club and the lot of them) than on the WBC.

Ditto the militias. I’m less worried about the Aryan Nations clowns than the “libertarian” militias who eschew the swastikas, runes and copies of “Mein Kampf” while embracing more or less the same agenda.

Hey, don’t worry about the impending collapse of society! A superbug might wipe us out first!

NB, that’s an excellent analysis of the NZ earthquake you have there. By the way.

Two-Twelving the Actor

eschew the swastika

However, this story made me happy.

As I always said when I was teaching, if you think it’s a supercushy, overpaid job, I’ll switch with you any week of the school year. Never did get any takers on that.

A superbug might wipe us out first!

Fuck eating fugu for a thrill. I want my third-pound mushroom ‘n swiss Angus burger with MRSA sauce. Damn that’s tasty!

However, this story made me happy.

That’s pretty awesome.

As I always said when I was teaching, if you think it’s a supercushy, overpaid job, I’ll switch with you any week of the school year. Never did get any takers on that.

Sadly, they still think it after your challenge. Most folks don’t want to put their prejudices to the test for fear they might lose them.

Income Inequality in America: what it is, what people think it is and what people think it should be.

“However, this story made me happy”

Making me happy

I know! I can’t think of anything that represents the value of libraries and the respect that libraries deserve any better. Especially since it’s the Library at Alexandria. Hearing it was a welcome break from despair and punching things while I was making my morning coffee.

OK, OK, I’ll drop it. I just wanted to point out that the Right makes a lot of hay out of our crazies, and if you can’t beat ’em………

Yeah, I said it: beat ’em.

OK, OK, I’ll drop it. I just wanted to point out that the Right makes a lot of hay out of our crazies, and if you can’t beat ‘em………

It’s cool. I just hate giving them what they want.

Makin’ the morning coffee

Grinding the beans

My co-worker just talked to me like I’m a total moron because I didn’t know who Kate Middleton was.

Speaking of the Bartow-Pell Mansion reminded me of a book I read by Eve Pell, We Used To Own The Bronx. It’s subtitled “Memoirs of a Former Debutante”. I picked the book up initially because I knew about Pell Grants, and because Eve Pell lives near me. I don’t know her, but I’ve seen her at local trail running events, and I hadn’t made the connection between Eve Pell and OMG Pell Pell. It’s an interesting read.

T&U, is this the co-worker who will probably leave early?

Kate Middleton. She’s one of the Jersey Housewives isn’t she?

My co-worker just talked to me like I’m a total moron because I didn’t know who Kate Middleton was.

Give her a map of the world and ask her to point out the place on the map where Kate’s from. I’m curious to see if she could.

T&U, is this the co-worker who will probably leave early?

Yes. I think she was trying to be nice–she said my dress looks like Kate Middleton’s when she announced her engagement…it doesn’t, but they are both blue. And dresses.

She could’ve said, “That dress looks kind of like Monica Lewinsky’s!” and I would have gotten the reference. And laughed.

Thumpin’ the Bible

She could’ve said, “That dress looks kind of like Monica Lewinsky’s!” and I would have gotten the reference. And laughed.

So nineties. Oh, you old-timers!

But if she had said Lewinsky, I would have hated her. I would have wanted to cankle her. I’m glad she was trying to be nice. (Also I read that after that announcement, the blue dress in question sold out within minutes.) Tell her she can go now. Unless her continual early check-outs materially fuck up your day. I am not sure.

OT by being on topic: Isn’t Spain the cheap France? I planned to go there during my gap year but I failed due to welp.

Chris, are all of your chores done? You know you don’t get ‘puter time till they are.

Oh. Hmm.

Doing Your Chores.

So nineties. Oh, you old-timers!

She’s 27, but if she has any idea who Monica Lewinsky is, I’m sure it’s quite vague.

Also, suck it, Chris.

Unless her continual early check-outs materially fuck up your day. I am not sure.

They kinda do. I have to take messages for her and check her boss’s calendar if people call. She has literally worked only ONE full week since October.

That dress looks kinda like Daphne Monet’s.

Going to see Monica

Having a cigar

Isn’t Spain the cheap France? This is what I have heard. (I do not know from personal experience.) Also, I have heard that Portugal is the cheap Spain.

I do that a young person of my acquaintance who is employed in the edumacation of small humans is kind of sort of planning and saving to travel to Portugal this very summer, when school is not in session, and when by all rights he or she should be toiling in the fields or some such. The nerve.

Seriously, the best thing to do with these people is ignore them. I’d rather focus my attention on The Family or Operation Rescue–people who actually have influence.

This would make sense if we were all working for a news organization and we were sitting around discussing what stories to cover and you were our boss. Instead we’re time-passing commenters at a place where dick jokes reign supreme and attention is regularly paid to Pastor Swank, Robin of Berkeley and the like. I think we can continue to make fun of the loopiest characters out there without any fear that we’re squandering our massive influence.

Squandering My Influence.

Also, suck it, Chris.

My pleasure.

Also too… why is she trying to be nice to you? Seems out of place with everything else you’ve told us about her.

http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/115601/20110223/ian-murphy-david-koch-scott-walker-conversation-full-text-transcript.htm

I think we can continue to make fun of the loopiest characters out there without any fear that we’re squandering our massive influence.

Oh, sure. I just meant out in the Real World. I also believe I said something about laughing at them, but I’m too lazy to scroll back up and check.

Yes, T&U, I also sense an inconsistency. What have you to say?

Also too… why is she trying to be nice to you?

Honestly? I don’t think she’s exactly, um, stable.

Also, she might be aware that our goodwill tank is running on empty up in here, so she’s trying to get as many people on her side as possible.

“Honestly? I don’t think she’s exactly, um, stable.”

Come on, now. There’s no need to bring in farm animals.

MURPHY: Goddamn, right. We sent Andrew Breitbart down there.

WALKER: Yeah.

MURPHY: Yeah.

WALKER: Good stuff.

MURPHY: Yeah. He’s our man, you know.

Read more: http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/115601/20110223/ian-murphy-david-koch-scott-walker-conversation-full-text-transcript.htm#ixzz1FGvKBTxY

Also, she might be aware that our goodwill tank is running on empty up in here, so she’s trying to get as many people on her side as possible.

When you have an endless string of incomplete days on your timesheet to explain, I suppose you need all the help you can get.

Cracking the whip.

Come on, now. There’s no need to bring in farm animals.

*She* was the one who was talking about her weight (in specific numbers) and saying how much of a pig she is when it’s obvious that I have about 50 pounds on her. (Much of it’s height, but still).

When you have an endless string of incomplete days on your timesheet to explain, I suppose you need all the help you can get.

I don’t think she’s had sick leave left for months. It must be nice to be able to take the financial hit of unpaid sick leave because your mommy is helping you pay the rent on your condo.

Oh, T&U, those are pretty pathetic attempts at female bonding, aren’t they? God, what a drag for you.

MURPHY: Yeah. What else can we do for you down there?

WALKER: The other thing is more long term and that is after this, um, you know, the coming days and weeks and months ahead, particularly in some of these more swing areas, a lot of these guys are gonna need, they don’t necessarily need ads for them but they ‘re going to need a message out reinforcing why this was a good thing to do for the economy and a good thing to do for the state so the extent that message is out over and over again, that’s obviously, that’s obviously a good thing.

[Coordinating campaign activity Gov and large doner! This may be conspiracy to commit illegal campaign contributions. At least it used to be. I am not up to speed on current law since it was gutted by Citizens United. Someone should research this.]

MURPHY: Right, right. We’ll back you anyway we can. But uh, what we were thinking about the crowds was, was planting some troublemakers.

WALKER: You know the — well — the only problem with — because we thought about that. The problem with — my only gut reaction to that would be right now the, the lawmakers I’ve talked to have just completely had it with them. The teacher’s union did some polling of some focus groups I think and found out the public turned on them the minute they closed school down for a couple of days. The guys we got left are largely from out of state and I keep dismissing it in all my press conferences and saying uh, they’re mostly from out of state. My only fear would be is if there was a ruckus caused, it is that that would scare the public into thinking that maybe the governor has got to settle to avoid all these problems. Where as I’ve said, hey, ya know, we can handle this, people can protest, this is Madison, you know, full of the 60s liberals, let ’em protest. It’s not going to affect us and as long as we go back to our homes and the majority of people are telling us we’re doing the right thing, let them protest all they want. So, that’s my gut reaction, is I think it’s actually good if they’re constant, they’re noisy, but they’re quiet, nothing happens, ’cause sooner or later the media stops finding them interesting.”

ZMOG!!! THUGGERY! Anchor baby neglects to point out of the victim had been carrying a gun, this targerdy might have been avoided.

Oh, T&U, those are pretty pathetic attempts at female bonding, aren’t they?

Yeah, I can’t figure out if she’s a bitch or just clueless. Probably a combination of both. I actually occasionally feel really bad for her, but she usually does something to erase that fairly quickly.

And I will shut up about it now. I find it terribly entertaining in a car wreck kind of way, but I’d imagine most people don’t.

T&U, we all dig tall, fat chicks. Don’t worry.

I lived in Providence for a while.

You still do. Perhaps we all do, in one way or another.

T&U, we all dig tall, fat chicks.

*splutter*

I suppose I deserved that due to the dad crack I made last night. Still. Ow.

Making the dad crack

Am I the only one who no longer finds Jon Stewart amusing?

T&U, my vicious remarks are just an obvious setup to get you to send pictures of yourself in beach attire. Oldest trick in the book.

I guess you should know: Chris is my son. Luckily the brothel kept client records and I was able to put it all back together and find him.

THIS THREAD ARE BELONG TO ME!!

“it’s obvious that I have about 50 pounds on her. (Much of it’s height, but still).”

“T&U, we all dig tall, fat chicks”

Sounds to me she’s built more like a linebacker. Dick (TruculentandUnreliable) Butkus.

I guess you should know: Chris is my son.

Noo… nooooooo… that’s not true, that’s impossible, etc.

Shut up, kid, or I’ll cut your hand off with my light saber.

Smedley knows you gotta be ice cold to gather the lulz.

Am I the only one who no longer finds Jon Stewart amusing?

No. I haven’t been a fan for quite a while.

T&U, my vicious remarks are just an obvious setup to get you to send pictures of yourself in beach attire. Oldest trick in the book.

Ah, well, that usually doesn’t work on me, as it sends me into a shameful Easter candy eating spiral (at least, if it’s around this time of year). Also, I realized today that I’m even more vain than I thought.

Damn, you guys!

I’ll just keep laughing and laughing, and maybe when I can’t do that any more, I’ll just teach.

Do both. The best teachers–at any level of education–bring humor into the classroom and into the subject.

okay, i’m going to say this again:

spengling the damp niche

coming up with this one really was the highlight of my morning and i would just like a little LULZ, okay peeps?

Noo… nooooooo… that’s not true, that’s impossible, etc.

Do you have a sister? AFAF.

Defending the Fatherland!

coming up with this one really was the highlight of my morning and i would just like a little LULZ, okay peeps?

I lulzed, but my gigantic neck probably muffled out the sound. Let me push these fat rolls aside and try again…

Let me push these fat rolls aside and try again…

I sense a disturbance in gravitational force.

I sense a disturbance in gravitational force.

Bring me Solo and the Wookie!

I lulzed, but my gigantic neck probably muffled out the sound. Let me push these fat rolls aside and try again…

wow, hated co-worker really is a twat isn’t she? there is nothing worse than chicks whining about their weight…also, i am laying a bet right now that she is ‘sick’ on April 29*, so she can watch the royal nuptials…

*i only know this cuz i googled it…

Delaware Republican lols.

“At a townhall meeting this week, angry supporters of O’Donnell confronted the chairman of the state Republican Party, who had defected against O’Donnell during the campaign, even saying that she wasn’t capable of being elected dog catcher. But Chairman Tom Ross stood his ground, shouting back at the crowd, “You know why I said that? I said it because it was true!”

“I sense a disturbance in gravitational force.

Bring me Solo and the Wookie!”

She went straight past the farm animals and directly to an alien furry. You go, girl!

spengling the damp niche

“coming up with this one really was the highlight of my morning and i would just like a little LULZ, okay peeps?”

Major golf clap bbkf. Great use of space bar. Your version is better. I’m surprised I missed it.

In a 3-way!!!!

wow, hated co-worker really is a twat isn’t she? there is nothing worse than chicks whining about their weight

Especially when they’re tiiiinyyy. I wasnted to be like, “Oh, yeah, I hate it when I gain weight, too. My tits get even bigger! Can you believe that?!!!”

Also, that wouldn’t surprise me, either. Of course, given how often she’s been out, it might be coincidence, too.

“okay, i’m going to say this again:

spengling the damp niche

coming up with this one really was the highlight of my morning and i would just like a little LULZ, okay peeps?”

You know, some critics downgrade Beethoven because he really had to work hard at his craft. I, however, believe the end result is what’s most important. So, to you, I say, well done.

Not that small breasts aren’t attractive. I just hate her.

Not that small breasts aren’t attractive. I just hate her.

oh, but she would love to have some giant jubblies! also, i hate her, on principle, and i haven’t even met her!

Profiles in mental retardation.

http://thinkprogress.org/2011/02/23/tennessee-bill-dubs-sharia-law-treasonous-would-punish-muslims-with-15-years-in-jail/
A proposed new state law would make following the Islamic legal code known as Shariah law a felony, punishable by 15 years in jail.[…]

The bill claims that Shariah law is a danger to homeland security. “The threat from Shariah-based jihad and terrorism presents a real and present danger to the lawful governance of this state and to the peaceful enjoyment of citizenship by the residents of this state,” the bill reads.

The bill exempts any peaceful practice of Islam.

But it also claims that any adherence to Shariah law – which includes religious practices like feet-washing and prayers – is treasonous.

It would require the state attorney general to investigate Shariah-compliant groups.

Going Solo with the Wookie.

Fuck yeah, Libya!

My tits also get bigger when I gain weight, but they don’t give me a boner.

gocart mozart said,
February 24, 2011 at 18:55

My Catholic background’s just getting all warm and fuzzy watching this kind of conspiracy theorizing regarding an unfamiliar religion.

Hand solo shot first

I win.

Interesting news from Bedlam SW

Oh, Canada.

I win.

We’re all just visualizing you with big tits. May not give you a boner but,,, well let’s just say that I typed this comment with one hand.

Interesting news from Bedlam SW

I can’t really blame them.

Seceding the Pima?

But it also claims that any adherence to Shariah law – which includes religious practices like feet-washing and prayers – is treasonous.

I dunno, somethings not Kosher about the whole idea.

“My Catholic background’s just getting all warm and fuzzy watching this kind of conspiracy theorizing regarding an unfamiliar religion.”

I learned Catholic doctrine so well in my youth that I don’t have to practice any more.

Tucson’s always held Peenix as LA lite. Now they just think we’re just insane. Pretty much on target.

“But it also claims that any adherence to Shariah law – which includes religious practices like feet-washing ”

I predict a mass outbreak of stinky feet in the near future. Wouldn’t want people to think you were a secret mooslem.

“I’m tired of hoping and praying that rationality will come to Phoenix.”

well, yes…blue in the face, hell freezing over, monkeys flying out of my butt, etc., etc…

Good thing the Pope wears normal clothing for mass, otherwise he’d be put in the hoosegow.

Darn it, I left for church without my rattlesnakes!

In Tenn. foot washing and most other forms of bathing are still seen as bizarre and possible foriegn.

Hooo-kay, news from Mordor.

States in the tank, broke and the laughing stock of the world.

On the legislative calender.

More guns.
State gun.
State slogan.
More restrictive immigration law.
More to follow, as usual.
Hey bbkf, from our favorite, Crazy Jack Harper –

The real reason for the jobs bill . . . The Jack Harper School of Economics conducted a special session last week on the fast-track tax cut/jobs bill. Rep. Harper, R-Surprise, explained how the bill’s tax incentives will work:

“Businesses that are thinking about what state might I move to because I’m tired of the communism in the state I’m in, they might decide Arizona is an attractive place to be,” Harper announced.

possibly, even

From T&U’s link above:

90% of Libya in Rebel Hands

“The LAT reports that the rebellion against Muammar Qaddafi’s 41-year dictatorship in Libya headed toward an end-game on Wednesday, as Misurata, the country’s third-largest city (pop. 600,000), fell to the opposition. Significantly, Misurata is in the west of the country, where support for Qaddafi had been stronger. It is only 100 miles east of the capital, Tripoli. “

“Businesses that are thinking about what state might I move to because I’m tired of the communism in the state I’m in.”

What state is that, the State of Confusion?

More guns.
State gun.
State slogan.

yes, but it is the democrats who are acting childishly and bogging down the system…sigh…

“Businesses that are thinking about what state might I move to because I’m tired of the communism in the state I’m in, they might decide Arizona is an attractive place to be,” Harper announced.

most of my state is already there…but sadly, they are all retirees who were lucky enough to prosper in their working lives so they are not able to reap the benefits of crazy jack’s economic plan…now we leave them to you arizonians, and hope they appreciate good ol’ mn…’the state where nothing is allowed’ when they get back in may…

Euphemism: Tiring of the Communism.

Or perhaps a Persistent Vegetative State.

The fact is,

Tiring the Communist

and we’re back to masturbation.

Sorry N__B

Garying Ruppert.

Rupperting Gary.

OT news: Switzerland just announced a freeze on Gaddafi’s accounts.

Oh, Canada.

So the “she was totally asking for it” defense works. I’ll just file that away for, um, wait…no I won’t.

From the “Where are They Now” files:

“Michael Steel, a spokesman for Boehner, said in an e-mail he questions why Obama “thinks now is the appropriate time to stir up a controversial issue that sharply divides the nation” when “most Americans want Washington to focus on creating jobs and cutting spending.”
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/02/23/AR2011022304434.html

“Michael Steel, a spokesman for Boehner, said in an e-mail he questions why Obama “thinks now is the appropriate time to stir up a controversial issue that sharply divides the nation” when “most Americans want Washington to focus on creating jobs and cutting spending.”

Okay, a) WTF is Boehner thinking? and b) HUH? By not doing anything they’re not focusing on creating jobs and cutting spending?

And I don’t think I even need to talk about the utter hypocrisy of that statement.

“Hand solo shot first”

Not necessarily. All those storm troopers were shooting blanks.

So the “she was totally asking for it” defense works.

In my country’s defense – d00d was found guilty and he will be listed on the National Sex Offender Registry. And the general response to him not getting jail time, so far has been quite negative.

Here’s some moar detail on the case if anyone’s interested.

In my country’s defense – d00d was found guilty and he will be listed on the National Sex Offender Registry.

I know–I was just happy to see that the dipshittery didn’t come from the U.S. for once.

That’s not a good thing, necessarily. It could be spreading.

Mmmm. Dipshittery on toast….

I know–I was just happy to see that the dipshittery didn’t come from the U.S. for once.

You do know that we re-elected Stephern Harper as our PM. Mark Steyn was borned here in LEAFS SUCK. I’ll pit Yoshida against any Yankee wingnut.

It may be a Socialestest Utopian paradise, but we’ve our share of douchebags and jerkwads too.

Have I introduced all y’all to my mayor?

That’s not a good thing, necessarily. It could be spreading.

I’m pretty sure victim-blaming is a universal trait of douchebags the world over, but I could be wrong.

Have I introduced all y’all to my mayor?

Dude. My mayor is a fucking commie compared to this guy.

Have I introduced all y’all to my mayor?

That dude reminds me of Jean Marie Le Pen, as long as we’re comparing countries. Especially the “Orientals” comment.

Well, I don’t believe in the death penalty, but I’m not going to lose any sleep over this.

I’m not saying that Rob Ford is Hitler – just that a fucking asshole douchebag got elected mayor of Canada’s most populous city. So having douchebags appear elsewhere in Canada really shouldn’t be hugely surprising.

Also, another Ford-ism

Eventually I want every high school to have police officers in their school. It makes sense. It keeps our schools safe. The kids respect it.

AWESOME!

NEW THREAD

Chucking the Dragon-King Wang

Update on the Wextboro Baptists Anonymous thing:

Someone posts a warning to WBC, posing as Anonymous. WBC responds with “bring it.” Anonymous denies responsibility, says it was a hoax and they don’t weant to have a war with WBC. WBC continues on as before. Anonymous grows tired of pesky gnats and thoroughly fucks them over.

This is pathetic on the Westboro church side. First we all knew it was a honeypot

But what’s even more laughable is that not only did there honey pot get shitted on, it got domestically raped. They thought anonymous hackers were dumb enough to not use a proxy or means of obfuscating there entry. (Really? It’s 2011 even script-kiddies know what it means to hide there ip/change mac address, shit my mom knows how to and she’s still fighting with the printer.)

Not only did there honey pot have gaping holes in there security but furthermore the exploits (that I presumed they left on purpose, or they are completely fxcking retarded) Gave root access to the entire server. Meaning, they shitted on themselves while trying to make a shit trap. A shitty irony for the shitty church.

This has been enjoyable to watch Anonymous.

http://i.imgur.com/1UjAt.png

new thread

Shariah law – which includes religious practices like feet-washing and prayers
Sounds familiar.

Just curious about something.

I’m a teacher who not only holidays in Europe, I actually spend all year in it.

And I’m not a liberal. I’m an actual socialist.

So, just out of curiousity, how much does Jay Nordinger hate me?