Ho-lympics
Posted on May 23rd, 2010 by Tintin
Shorter Brent Vanderbozo III, Clown Hall
A Global Sports Problem
- The problem with international sports competitions is that they enable men to travel to foreign countries to have sex with prostitutes.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Trusting the shorter, but someone actually wrote a whole column about athletes and hookers? This is a surprise?
Got out of the boat and the mangoes were made of wax. Bozell should also look at prostitution at other large events such as the Republican convention.
Self-righteous moralizing about the world’s oldest profession is the world’s oldest pastime. I don’t have to leave the boat to know those mangoes are bitter; someone needs his baggage lifted.
OK, there are some mangoes, but they are small and filled with a repressed peevishness.
Somehow, Brent Bozo wants sex to stop. Period. Just STOP.
Abstinence for adults.
It’s what’s for breakfast for everyone else when the objects of your affection find you repulsive.
Bozell should also look at prostitution at other large events such as the Republican convention.
Yes, indeed. The influx of young boys to the convention host city is so immense that the Catholic priests are forced to pay market rate.
I look forward to a day when women can all be enticed to give it away for free. Until then, some trade in flesh must be expected.
Check the comments at Townhall. A couple of morons blame it all on The Left, but a big, big chunk of the commenters call out Bozell on his puritanical idiocy.
“Catholic priests are forced to pay market rate”
The altar boys get paid with multi-colored candy wafers instead of the dry white stuff.
Uh oh. Once a conservative starts bitching publicly about the failed sexual moralities of others, it’s a short while until their episode of toe-tapping / rentboy hiring / statistic avoiding public restroom blowjob / wetsuit & dildo episode / altar boy raping…
Y’know, of all the bullshit that is going on in South Africa because of the World Cup, prostitution is at the bottom of my list of concerns. Hell, it may be the only good thing that has happened to poor people because of it.
Just Imagine…imagine…imagine…a samba girl with a cockney accent, a vancouveran girl with a liverpuddlian accent, a bophututswanian girl with a northumbrish accent!
They don’t laugh at you until they fall over…
While the porn industry’s motto is “Faster, Harder, Longer,” which is practically the same, and somewhat related to prostitution in that each involves people bumping their naughty bits together for a purpose other than procreation. So it looks like the circle has been completed.
London is already preparing for a prostitution explosion during the 2012 Olympics
Lycra containment vessels are being prepared to minimize shrapnel spread.
Nor do they continue to laugh as they roll across the floor…
Just Imagine…imagine…imagine…a samba girl with a cockney accent, a vancouveran girl with a liverpuddlian accent, a bophututswanian girl with a northumbrish accent!
Oh, I am. I am…
Please don’t link to townhall.com posts where the commentators sound reasonable. It upsets my karma.
Didja know that the US government has a special division devoted just to making new passports for DKW’s mom?
Alt-shorter: Handing out condoms causes sex, not the other way around.
“The altar boys get paid with multi-colored candy wafers instead of the dry white stuff.”
Taste the rainbow.
There’s no telling what sort of well-oiled perversions those nimble, dusky-hued sex fiends are preparing in order to corrupt unwary sports fans.
Didja know that the US government has a special division devoted just to making new passports for DKW’s mom?
Didja know that the World Health Organization has a special division devoted to …. oh, I can’t even finish it.
Well, with DKW’s mom, maybe.
While the press fussed at the city pressing the homeless people out of visible spaces, the city police made a verbal promise not to arrest or displace prostitutes “for the sake of public image.”
Bozell almost–almost– comes within a hair’s breadth of making a coherent point in this one sentence. However, as most would follow up this thought with a call for more ethical treatment of the homeless, Bozell instead makes it all about driving the whores out of the marketplace.
To Bozell, whoreless-ness is much more important than homeless-ness.
“Out-of-town whores, yes; homeless locals, no.”
Now there’s a slogan!
And the global promotion of peace and brotherhood has always been a core tenet of American conservatism.
When Pierre de Coubertin began the modern Olympics movement in 1896…
Nobody tell Bozell that in the ancient Olympics they competed buck nekkid.
Nobody tell Bozell that in the ancient Olympics they competed buck nekkid.
Oh damn you WWIII. I made it nearly to the bottom of the comments thinking no one else had made this observation, and then you go and ruin it for me.
If you will just refer to the historical study “300”, all good white men Greeks were either naked or mostly naked in their buff glory, and all patriotic right wingers were really excited about that documentary.
Surely the men wore… something to keep from flapping around? The 100 meter dash would be… brutal on the equipment I would think.
The 100 meter dash would be… brutal on the equipment I would think.
Also, the luge was a bit frostier.
Weren’t the guys in 300 flouncing around in little leather man-panties?
Also, the luge was a bit frostier.
Luckily for the competitors, small genitalia were preferred by the Greeks.
Won’t somebody please think of the
livestockinternschildrens?!?BAN TEH SLUTBOMB!
… & now de Coubertin’s ghost gets to puke its ectoplasmic guts raw every two years.
Sorry to piss in Bozell’s Wheeties, but Olympic idealism got sent through a wood-chipper the day they decided to let Adolf Motherfucking Hitler host the Games. The IOC is a standing joke in the sports community. China has its swimming & gymnastics teams doing training in utero. The need for novelty means that Yogic Flying, Nose-Picking & Calculus will have all become Demonstration Sports by 2018. The REAL ideal is getting good agents & publicists to help you hit the endorsement-jackpot after you get to the podium.
“Weren’t the guys in 300 flouncing around in little leather man-panties?”
Never saw the movie, didn’t care to. Greek fashion isn’t up to the same level as their achievements in math and science were.
I’m still applauding “someone needs his baggage lifted.” Permission to steal?
“Weren’t the guys in 300 flouncing around in little leather man-panties?”
Yes, but they were held up by belts that could easily come undone during vigorous physical activity, and…
excuse me, I’ll be back in a few minutes.
I just wish to note for the record that Brent Bozeau thinks human trafficking is the lesser issue compared to athletes fucking and freelance hookers going where the business is.
For the record, I support legalizing prostitution, and giving bloody beatdowns involving baseball bats with nails in them to anyone who tries to coerce someone into it.
“The need for novelty means that Yogic Flying, Nose-Picking & Calculus will have all become Demonstration Sports by 2018.”
If participants in the math-olympics could get decent sponsors and wider recognition this would actually give me some hope for humanity.
I just wish to note for the record that Brent Bozeau thinks human trafficking is the lesser issue compared to athletes fucking and freelance hookers going where the business is.
Dude, yeah, pretty much the conservative mindset in a nutshell. Violence, economic exploitation, and coercion? A-okay. Fucking? Oh, HAIL no.
Also, De Coubertin was a true elitist, not the Republican faux-elitist class traitors you hear rich liberals called in the news. The whole point of the amateurism thing was to keep the riffraff out of the games; that failed the moment they started having funding drives to send average Joes and Janes with talent to the games.
(Not to mention the IOC trying to find excuses to withdraw women’s hockey — that’s just evil.)
“Weren’t the guys in 300 flouncing around in little leather man-panties?”
Yes, which was totally inaccurate historically. They would have dressed more like this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Hop2.jpg
(or for that matter baseball and softball, which nobody cares about because it’s only played by Yanks, gooks, and filthy Spanish-speaking brown people. It’s not like there aren’t British or Dutch people who play it… oh wait. No, never mind. NO THERE AREN’T.)
noen:
Yeah, but pure math isn’t fun to watch. Now package that up in robots or trebuchets, then you’ve got an event.
I got about 20 minutes into “300” and I thought, man, if I wanted to see a movie this gay, I would rent that 4th, Joel Schumacher “Batman” movie with the male strip dancers and the Bat-suit with nipples and crotch emphasis.
Yes, which was totally inaccurate historically. They would have dressed more like this:
Wait, sooooo…are you telling me that they purposely made that movie as homoerotic as possible?
Also, does that dude’s breasplate have nipples?
On that Batman movie:
Clearly the “300” makers were inspired.
I play to win!
The real disgrace of South Africa 2010 is the fact that Maradona left Cambiasso off the Argentine team. It’s an outrage!
Agreed. But I always preferred the torture method Le Chiffre used on James Bond instead.
Heh, El Cid’s fingers are quicker today T&U.
His claim that progressives have had nothing to say about prostitution and the trafficking and abuse of women and children in the sex trade is bullshit. Feminist groups and progressives concerned about human rights have been very vocal about it.
It also peeves me that he, like the rest of his moron crowd seem to unable to comprehend the stupidity of statements that tisk tisk about condoms (people don’t think of sex unless handed a condom you know) and how horrible it is to pass them out after just admitting prior that South Africa suffers from a huge AIDS problem.
Jesus. I guess its also obvious to mention that his people are the ones who enable prostitution by their efforts at thwarting the agency of women and children overall.
Heh, El Cid’s fingers are quicker today T&U.
I heard the same thing from DKW’s mom.
“I heard the same thing from DKW’s mom.”
Second hand?
I waded to shore. The Michelle Malkin pop-up definitely wasn’t a mango.
Heh, El Cid’s fingers are quicker today T&U.
No! That’s one of my few talents besides sleeping!!!! *hangs head in shame*
Now the boycat has peed on my favorite shoes. Time to take him to the vet. Or the rendering plant.
just try to imagine what kind of spectacle will unfold in the partying capital of Rio de Janeiro in 2016
That’s that: I was originally planning to loaf, barbecue and drink beer today, but now it’s off to the gym to train intensively for the shot put. My Olympic dream is reborn!
They would have dressed more like this:
What the hell is that hanging out under his skirt? Somebody needed to invent the jockstrap. Also, why is it gold? What secrets did the Greeks keep?
Also, does that dude’s breasplate have nipples?
All breastplates do except Tony Stark’s and Xena’s.
Oh, shut up, immoral liberals who hate America and love sex with foerigners and disease and rafce mixed babies. Here in the heartland we vote wqith are values and with God.
I hope my previous comment didn’t imply that I love my shoes more than my cat. I’m not that heartless.
Plus, my shoes aren’t that nice.
immoral liberals who hate America and love sex with foerigners and disease and rafce mixed babies.
I can confirm I’m guilty of the first two, but I’ve never had sex with disease*, nor have I “rafce[d] mixed babies,” whatever that means.
*Not going for the obvious joke about annoying exes who stick around too long.
Unless by “rafce,” you mean “eaten.” Which I have done. Please forgive me; they were so sweet and nommy.
Fucked it up–“and [so] nommy.” I think the cat pee fumes have gotten to my head. I’ll shut up now.
he 100 meter dash would be… brutal on the equipment I would think.
Also, the luge was a bit frostier.
Hell forget luge, what about Skeleton?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skeleton_(sport)
dangly bits an inch above a frozen track going at 90 kph? Yikes!
Those shoot deadly nip-darts.
A couple of morons blame it all on The Left,
I’ll take all the credit these bitchez want to pin on me for consentual adult sex. It’s all my fault. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t have made it about the WMD. I would have gone with the public service that results from uptight white assholes actually facing their own humanity and maybe having a little fun once in a while. If approval ratings tank, I can say, “So? Get fucked. Literally!” Woohoo!
I’ve never seen God vote.
@ USA Apple Pie Mom
It’s time for you to face a few facts. Nobody loves you. You should probably kill yourself.
Those shoot deadly nip-darts.
Awesome. That’s totes my mutant power.
His claim that progressives have had nothing to say about prostitution and the trafficking and abuse of women and children in the sex trade is bullshit. Feminist groups and progressives concerned about human rights have been very vocal about it.
Wingnuts would be GRR MAD if we were trying to traffic fetuses.
Wait just a minute here. Are the righties trying to claim the moral high ground on women’s rights? HAHAHAHHHAHAHHHAAAAAAAA.
Shit. I just spit coffee all over my keeeeyborfd! fic
That’s totes my mutant power.
Very cool. Mine’s a local increase in entropy: everywhere I go desks get messier, fluorescents flicker, software crashes, and threads stray off topic.
everywhere I go desks get messier, fluorescents flicker, software crashes, and threads stray off topic.
Does it work over the internet? Because I need something to blame when Mercury is out of retrograde.
Does it work over the internet?
Hard to say. My other power – a telepathic death ray – has been on the fritz for a while.
“I’ve never seen God vote.”
But he has a purple finger!
My other power – a telepathic death ray – has been on the fritz for a while.
Oooh, sorry. I think that’s my fault. My other power is disabling telepathic death rays over the internet. It’s saved my life several times.
“Very cool. Mine’s a local increase in entropy”
Hey, I can fix that for ya.
He got that painting our magestic purple mountains.
VPR
But he has a purple finger!
I don’t think that’s from voting…
Really? I thought it explained what happened to all the purple people. They’re hiding.
Only slightly related (at least in my near-Aspie brain): does anybody else briefly mistake “Sestak” for “Sleestak” besides me?
The weird thing is that I have never, ever seen Land of the Lost.
Maybe I should get the passport updated and get out more, now that they have whores in all those nice countries, and great sporting events going on nearby! Thanks, Brett (such a big brain on Brett!)
They would have dressed more like this:
That victorian crap doesn’t fly any more. At best, given my own (ahem) sensitivities, they went commando. At worst… tell them I said owwwwww!.
As for Brent Bozo here, dude, we get it. You like your whoring to be dirty and shameful and nasty and wicked because you’re a twisted-ass freak.
My home-town hosted some big Baptist convention for a few years. Then one year the local right-wing rag had the bright idea of publishing prostitution arrest records every week to “shame” the johns and hookers. Anyone care to guess how long that lasted?
Hey, I can fix that for ya.
Percussive maintenance with a silver hammer?
Sleestak suave
“At worst… tell them I said owwwwww!.”
Cute, all tied up in a pretty bow!
Cute, all tied up in a pretty bow!
A little present for DKW’s mom.
At worst… tell them I said owwwwww!
Trying to find a response to this that doesn’t make me hate myself…
A little present for DKW’s mom.
Aaaand this one would have been perfect. Damn.
I almost said “a little present for T&U” but I decided that was a bridge too far.
Yes, I do in fact have a filter. Not much of one, but a filter nonetheless.
Did somebody say mangoes?
~
I almost said “a little present for T&U” but I decided that was a bridge too far.
Thank you for your politeness. All my comments were along the same lines and/or BDSM references.
Did somebody say mangoes?
Did you try cutting the mango in half and scoring it while still in the peel? It looks like that’s what you did in the second one, but I wasn’t sure. I find that’s easiest–if you get it right (I never do), you just turn the peel inside-out and scrape the mango bits off it.
“ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 23, 2010 at 20:34
Did somebody say mangoes?”
those are the kind of mangoes I can get behind. In fact, I hold them in front of my chest and say “Check out THESE mangoes.” Also I could juggle them.
“Also I could juggle them.”
Can you throw ’em over your shoulder like a continental soldier?
Mine were never big/saggy enough to do such a thing. And now I feel like I’ve really missed out.
God loves me. God hates you liberals.
Yes, but Satan drunk dials me and tells me about his unrequited love for me. Jealous?
Mine were never big/saggy enough to do such a thing. And now I feel like I’ve really missed out.
There’s still time to pop out a few kids and jog braless, if it’s that important to you.
God loves me. God hates you liberals.
Really? I’ve always heard he was a cherry pie* fan.
*VUGHR
Guess I have no choice but to get knocked up.
Men, form a queue.
I think even God has better taste.
Grrr. Tagfail.
Obligatory Cherry Pie Joke
And my daddy can beat up your daddy.
Like double cherry pie?
Sex and Candy.
Men, form a queue.
Oooh, DKW’s mom is going to be PISSED at you for cutting into her business.
FUWP
She’s been slacking off.*
*VMR
Fuck you, noen.
Even double cherry pie?
“Fuck you, noen.”
Well, at least that would be something *new*.
I lurve that song. Haven’t heard it in awhile.
Yeah, I like it too. Marcy Playground. Not far from me right now. But I plan on biking Here once it cools off a bit.
Did you try cutting the mango in half and scoring it while still in the peel? It looks like that’s what you did in the second one, but I wasn’t sure. I find that’s easiest–if you get it right (I never do), you just turn the peel inside-out and scrape the mango bits off it.
I did try that, but it didn’t work out great (scored ’em too close to the skin).
The main thing I’ve discovered (with practice and reading the directions, aka cheating) is that if you follow the cut-in-four-pieces method, it’s pretty easy after that.
Also, they taste great!
~
Cute, all tied up in a pretty bow!
Whatever it is, it’s got wings.
Smut Clyde said,
May 23, 2010 at 21:44
Cute, all tied up in a pretty bow!
Whatever it is, it’s got wings.
Next, S.C. is going to ask us to look at his etchings.
~
London is already preparing for a prostitution explosion
I know that movie.
noen, that map showed several locations. I think it was showing me some kind of restaurant.
Prostitution explosions are typically due to poor handling and storage. Make sure to store your prostitutes in a cool dry place away from heat or flame.
London is already preparing for a prostitution explosion
Is it too late to change the mascot? Maybe the current one can be tweaked a bit–into a condom. They could call it the Raincoat to have it reflect London’s character.
“I think it was showing me some kind of restaurant.”
I go biking around Lack Calhoun and then stop at the Tin Fish there for a fish taco and some Fat Tire Ale. It is as close to heaven as I’m likely to get.
I like to store mine in the freezer; keeps them fresh. Avoid freezer burn by wrapping in plastic. You only make that mistake once.
noen, that sounds loverly.
Men, form a queue.
How about a P?
You’re thinking outside the box, WC. I like it!
VVR
Wait, if that’s a VVR I don’t want to be outside the box.
Yeah it would probably be more appropriate to say you thought inside the box.
Now the boycat has peed on my favorite shoes. Time to take him to the vet
Could be a UTI. Or diabetes. Or evil-cattism.
Men, form a queue.
Perhaps I could skip the queue and just invite vacuumslayer over to view my etch-a-sketchings.
Could be a UTI. Or diabetes. Or evil-cattism.
I think he has a UTI. I didn’t, because he was also pooping everywhere, but I think he was trying to get our attention. Poor guy.
I really really really really REALLY hope it’s not diabeetus, because he’s only 8, but it’s not outside the realm of possibility, as he is a fucking fatass. (Not quite Tunch-sized, but close. He’s on a diet, I swear). Mr. T&U would be crushed.
As far as evil-cattism, he’s always been evil, but usually he’s just violent, not pee-y.
The cognitive dissonance in Bozell’s piece is stupefacting, once it sinks in that it’s just one long cry for Big Gubmint to Do Something about the rampant (heh!) prostitution spawned by (heh!) the horrible unrestrained Free Market.
But I loved this funny bit from Pierre de Coubertin’s wiki page:
Yep, that’s right, Bozell’s hero was not only a French pedagogue who decried corporate influence on sports, who wanted to be best remembered for preaching loudly about how winning wasn’t important, competing was… he actually won his ownself a Gold Medal in Teh OIympics for writing a poem. In French.
Dirty drawings on an Etch-a-Sketch? Stand the fuck back, ladies–HE’S MINE!
‘fish taco’*
*V???R
Dirty drawings on an Etch-a-Sketch? Stand the fuck back, ladies–HE’S MINE!
I never said they were dirty, but after that response I am currently twisting the knobs* furiuosly to make it so. I did receive some notice from the art world for two of my works, Young Woman with Pitcher and Still Life with Apples and a Pot of Primroses. But after a minor earthquake left me with Y ng om n wi Pi ch r and St l Li e wit pp es d a P o P i r s s interest waned.
to view my etch-a-sketchings.
Research reveals that holding your laptop upside down and shaking it is not the way to clear the image.
Nor does it get the red wine out of the USB socket.
People never “get” avant guarde stuff at first. You know what you need to do? Cut off your ear.
BTW, I mean this much less serial-killy than it sounded.
Some of the comments are just precious.
Quite a few are surprisingly rational.
I did get to this from the streamer up top, and it made the whole outing worthwhile. What is the country coming to when Big Government can stop me from voting in a chicken suit?
Also, I hadn’t heard that Cuomo made it official that he’s in. Yay.
I really really really really REALLY hope it’s not diabeetus
My ex had an extremely fat cat that got diabetes at about 8. Became like a skeleton cat before we knew what was going on. Peed inside all the time, and its poop became even more horrid than normal cat poop.
The vet put it on insulin shots (not very expensive) and it completely recovered and lived 4-5 more years.
So don’t panic if it is diabetes, and get it checked out quickly before it gets really sick.
Smut Clyde said,
May 23, 2010 at 23:10
Research reveals that holding your laptop upside down and shaking it is not the way to clear the image.
Nor does it get the red wine out of the USB socket.
*Shakes fist*
You’re lucky you’re far away, S.C.!
~
The Rendering Plant – like the Whomping Willow, except peacefully holding a sketchpad and pen.
Nor does it get the red wine out of the USB socket.
What does it get out of the USB socket?
What does it get out of the USB socket?
Does shaking it remove humiliation and shame? Because I’ve been looking for something like that.
What does it get out of the USB socket?
You will have to direct that question at ITTDGY.
What is the country coming to when Big Government can stop me from voting in a chicken suit?
First they came for the chicken suits, and I did nothing for I prefer to dress up as a Sumatran otter.
I can’t get red wine out of my USB socket either. Wrong cable?
Does shaking it remove humiliation and shame?
Worst psychiatric advice EVAH.
Maybe I should try the USB port.
Oh, shut up, immoral liberals who hate America and love sex with foerigners [misspelled] and disease and rafce [misspelled] mixed babies.
So USA Apple Pie Mom hates babies — innocent little post-birth fetuses — when their parents are different races. Yeah, hating babies is a really good way to convince everybody how moral you are, “Mom.”
Unlike our two trolls yesterday, I’m pretty sure that USAAPM is a spoof.
Depends on how long you shake it for, now doesn’t it.
I also love the misspelling in their poll.
Didn’t news organizations once have people called editors to keep shit like that from happening? It really is hard to take anything seriously as “journalism” if they can’t even be bothered to spell check.
Bonus: thinking they can define the rights of anyone, much less foreign heads of state.
Maybe I should try the USB port.
None of those lefty connections for us! No way!! We plug our cables into the USB starboard.
USB port gives me hangovers.
USB port gives me hangovers.
The sulfites give me a plugged nose. Which also doesn’t respond to shaking.
Smut was all over that one.
“Surely the men wore… something to keep from flapping around? The 100 meter dash would be… brutal on the equipment I would think…”
Not to mention volley-ball or the uneven parallels!
Smut was all over that one.
When Smut’s on fire, he leaves his black mark everywhere.
“Not to mention volley-ball ”
Gives spiking a whole new dimension. You’re not allowed to use your hands, the rules say nothing about the rest of your body.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
May 23, 2010 at 22:42
Could be a UTI. Or diabetes. Or evil-cattism.
Or he found out you were talking smack on the interwebz about him. Cats are the confrontational type. This may be a little passive aggressive warning for you…?
Signed:
tsam, cat whisperer.
Rusty Shackleford said,
May 24, 2010 at 0:03
I can’t get red wine out of my USB socket either. Wrong cable?
Dude. T.M.I.
Our cat used to pee in my husband’s shoes, because, the vet said he (the cat) was establishing status. I suggested my husband lay on the floor and expose his stomach & throat, but he refused.
Cats are not the confrontational type.
Fixt to make what little sense this um…joke… was supposed to have made.
In Vancouver, sexual cynicism was all the rage. An advocacy group called “SafeGames 2010? passed out “SafeKits” including condoms, informational phone numbers, a guide to Vancouver’s legal avenues of prostitution and “etiquette tips” for their clients.
I don’t think that word means what he thinks it means.
Abstinence for adults.
It’s what’s for breakfast for everyone else when
the objects of your affection find you repulsiveit’s the only way you can get it up.Just to side bitch about “300” – by all accounts I trust an awful, awful piece of shit that I will never see – it entirely skips over all the 300’s “servants” (serfs who were good enough to fight, but too expensive to armor). They all died fighting as well – about 7 for every Spartan, for a total of near 2000 extra.
Yay conservative mindset – only the employers count. Oh, and Iranians are evil fat ghey bladehanders. But we knew that since Iran-Contra.
London is already preparing for a prostitution explosion during the 2012 Olympics
So the women will charge, finally?
“Higher Faster Stronger” indeed!
(And as usual, Jennifer noted it quicker, funnier, and better.)
Surely the men wore… something to keep from flapping around?
The kore youths have foreskins and youth on drinking vessels are depicted as ‘growers not showers’.
Also they were in gymnasium from a young age so probably they developed some keratinous deposits.
What gets me is Atalanta running naked. Ow? But perhaps there is more estrogen in our environment or we tend to put on more fat (produces estrogen) or use of hormone (“the”) pills, hence bigger boobies. Atalanta was a maiden at the time of this run (=nullapara).
Just to side bitch about “300? – by all accounts I trust an awful, awful piece of shit that I will never see – it entirely skips over all the 300’s “servants” (serfs who were good enough to fight, but too expensive to armor). They all died fighting as well – about 7 for every Spartan, for a total of near 2000 extra.
Wow. Ouch. And here I just avoided it because it was a) Frank Miller b) conservatards were getting a woody about it and c) most of the movie “buzz” consisted of Aspie libertarian comics dweebs preemptively defending the movie’s horrific racism.
Dude, yeah, pretty much the conservative mindset in a nutshell. Violence, economic exploitation, and coercion?
It’s hard out here for a pimp.
A-okay. Fucking? Oh, HAIL no.
She works hard for the money, so you’d better treat her right. What, you mean she isn’t pregnant and barefoot? A witch! A witch!
“etiquette tips” for their clients.
“Yes, Mistress” and “I’ve been a bad boy, Mistress” are sufficiently formal for most occasions (or so I am told).
Unless you haven’t been given permission to speak, in which case it’s the hose again.
I understand that if she asks “Do you party?” and you answer “Yes” it is customary to pay extra to cover the cost of the blow.
“Yes, Mistress” and “I’ve been a bad boy, Mistress” are sufficiently formal for most occasions (or so I am told).
It’s tough with the ball-gag in my mouth. “Mmmmmmph!”
Wow, you know you’ve gone too far when Townhall commenters think you’re insane. Talk about lulz.
tonite’s menu at cafe standards
a sordid greens with asiago cheese that’s old enough to shave
esteemed clams
depressed duck
funky chicken with haircuts verts and quashed quotatoes ala mr shame us joyce
“etiquette tips” for their clients.
Formal evening wear normally consists of a black suspender belt and matching bra.
For her, a leather catsuit.
USB port gives me hangovers
you need to have it with the cereal port killers
flapping around?
then, nothing is hung over
Liberals can suck it, we wants smaller goverment lower taxes no debt and no more special privilidges for minorites who didnt have to work hard like we did in the heartland, like the gays. No gays is getting a job just because the goverment makes me give him one
warning:
KASAM KASIM
KASAM KASSEM
KASAM KASSIM
KASAM KAZIM
KASAM QASEM
KASAM QASIM
KASAM QASSAM
spending your weekend eyeballing your way through thousands of phonetic encoding is crazy making
We wantss it, Precious.
Men, form a queue.
We can’t do it on command, you know. You have to
wine and dine usshow us cheap porn first.London is already preparing for a prostitution explosion during the 2012 Olympics
I heard they were going to introduce it as an “exhibition sport,” so I’m sure they have to do some preparations for it.
BTW, new Comments Out of Context up at my joint.
sexual cynicism was all the rage.
Meanwhile, rightwing rage was all the cynicism. Terror was all the euphoria. Writing such a spineless flaccid sentence should be all the embarrassment.
‘That is all my bum,’ said Brinsley.
Backward ran the sentences until reeled the mind.
baggers reeled sentience until rand paul undermined
You start giving special privileges to the Minorites, and pretty soon the Moabites and the Edomites and the Canaanites are all gonna want special privileges, too.
I think it was Sarah Silverman who made this joke about the movie 300:
How did they come up with the name “300” for the movie?
“300” was the answer to the question: on a scale of 1 to 10, how gay is this movie?
“300? was the answer to the question: on a scale of 1 to 10, how gay is this movie?
Damn. Silverman is made of so much awesome that it’s almost frightening.
Totally off-topic, but apparently appropriate for this day; is there anyone else here who’s never seen an episode of Lost, has no idea what it’s about and couldn’t care less?
(I’m not dissing the fans… I’m just impressed that this evening, my diner and all the hangouts in my neighborhood, which are usually full, were friggin’ empty and I can only assume that’s why. Apparently, I’ve been missing out on one of the cornerstones of my generation’s culture. Oh well…)
CHUM
I liked 300, love Frank Miller, and didn’t think it was particularly homo-erotic unless you went looking for it. If you went looking for it though..hoo-boy. There in spades.
It had about as much to do with libertarianism and conservatism as Star Wars… in fact it would be a lot easier to make analogies between Spartan culture (even in the movie) and socialism.
Especially since St. Ronnie was the guy who traded with Persian terrorists!
Just sayin’. Hate to see a decent movie run down based on hearsay.
“300? was the answer to the question: on a scale of 1 to 10, how gay is this movie?
WHORES WHORES WHORES
Aaaaaaand we’re back on topic.
is there anyone else here who’s never seen an episode of Lost, has no idea what it’s about and couldn’t care less?
yes, pretty much yes, and yes except for the fact that it’s directed by the same asshole who’s directing the new Star Trek movies. #1 was fun but sorely lacking in “coherence” or “internal logic”, much like Lost (I have a friend who is a disappointed fan)
every once in a while the Trek fan boards post a quote by Abrams about his “Lost” strategy or whatever and I chew on my nails and think great … just … great.
Esteemed clams, Tacitus? Why, money is always in repute.
“…Olympic idealism got sent through a wood-chipper the day they decided to let Adolf Motherfucking Hitler host the Games…”
Correction–when Avery Brundage became USOC/ IOC president. AB not only rejected proposals the US boycott the ’36 Olympics, he loathed women athletes and had Jim Thorpe stripped of his medals because he’d played pro ball (and whomped Brundage in the penthathlon and decathlon.) Not that any of that kept him from having two kids out of wedlock and keeping his name off their birth certifcates, now…
Hmm. I liked the new Trek movie, but I recognize it has nothing on the originals. Star Trek peaked with the six TOS movies that came out in the eighties.
IMO, better that Abrams just do his own thing with the new movies (however incoherent) and take them in a whole new direction, as opposed to recycling Khan or V’Ger or Carol Marcus like some fans have been begging him for. That really would ruin the originals for me.
If gay men yelled ALL the time like they did in 300, bigots would not be complaining about the gay lifestyle, but the gay yelling. Good Gawd, were they all deaf?
whomped Brundage in the penthathlon and decathlon
OWWW OWWW OWWW
“were they all deaf?”
It can be hard to hear above all the right-wing chicken hawks fapping in the audience.
is there anyone else here who’s never seen an episode of Lost, has no idea what it’s about and couldn’t care less?
That would be me. But then I’m a total nerd. I’ve been working from home all day and had the Indy bump-day quali going…partly because the sports scene suxx0rz today but it’s strangely fascinating.
partly because the sports scene suxx0rz today
eh what? Semi-finals in NHL & NBA today, Champions League final in soccer yesterday…
You’d rather watch cars going in circles?
“…partly because the sports scene suxx0rz today”
The French Open started today, so that’s something.
300 was a laugh riot for me because I’m old enough to remember when the likes of Steve Reeves/Victor Mature would have been the go-to guys for this kind of nonsense.
I quit watching the NBA several years ago. Never was a hockey fan. Today isn’t yesterday. I’m generally not a roundy-round guy; I like road racing but Indy is actually special. Fortunately, teh TiVo now has cycling on (Tour of Cali time trials).
Whatever floats yer boat, man. DON’T JUDGE ME!
Totally off-topic, but apparently appropriate for this day; is there anyone else here who’s never seen an episode of Lost, has no idea what it’s about and couldn’t care less?
Yes.
Frankly, I’m just waiting for new episodes of Batman: The Brave and the Bold.
DON’T JUDGE ME!
Heh. Couldn’t resist a pointless needle. But today IS yesterday in Dusseldorf.
On-topic: Hooker upsurge pales next to creepy mascot invasion.
Has there ever been a non-creepy Oh-limp-ick mascot?
Count me in also as one who’s never seen an episode of Lost, has no idea what it’s about and couldn’t care less?
Actually, I did see a few episodes and I was completely LOST. I think that is why they decided to call it that.
“Has there ever been a non-creepy Oh-limp-ick mascot?”
They all tend to look like a penis or a sperm. I think that rule is in the Olympic Committee by-laws.
Couldn’t resist a pointless needle.
Hm. Seems to me like a pointless needle would be…dull.
Lost finale was an incredible baww-fest.
And yeah, gm, I’ve said for a while that “Lost” is called that to describe the viewers.
Still probably the best made network tv show in I don’t know how long.
And for the Californians in the room, I’m having buckets of fun watching the Whitman-Poizner hippie-punching fest. “You’re a Liberal! No, You’re a Liberal!”
Nothing like a nasty primary to kill a candidate for the final.
Hooker upsurge pales next to creepy mascot invasion.
Canadians are fine ones to complain about creepy mascots.
You blew my theory to hell Smut damn you. Creepy perhaps but not penis or spermlike (is that one word?) or is Canada in violation of the Olympic Mascot by-laws?
I wonder what the London olympic crew are planning to sell as mascot merchandise. Wenlock & Woss-name don’t really lend themselves to fluffy toys, too shiny and all. Perhaps they’re planning to sell over-priced novelty surveillance cameras, or dildos.
My own theory is that they been foisted upon the unsuspecting public by Skynet, in the hope of replacing the negative image of T-1000 Terminators with friendlier associations.
in the hope of replacing the negative image of T-1000 Terminators
The T-1000 has a negative image?
Seems to me like a pointless needle would be…
Abrasive. That’s it.
They all tend to look like a penis or a sperm. I think that rule is in the Olympic Committee by-laws.
Flesh: What is it, Professor Jerkov?
Flexi: Some sort of penisaurus I believe.
I wish I could act all superior and shit, but I drank the Lost kool-aid. We still have about 10 episodes to go until the finale. I’ve already seen some minor spoilers, but nothing I wasn’t expecting.
Still probably the best made network tv show in I don’t know how long.
I agree, though there were some aspects of it that pissed me off. Like, people, can we please stop brandishing the guns all over the fucking place? I notice this got worse as time went by. Also, too, there were some BAD British accents in some of the cameos. They really couldn’t hire British actors that were somewhat believable.
But it’s been fun to watch. I’ll be sad when we get to the finale. I’d imagine it’s worse for fans who have been watching it for the past 6 years.
WHORES WHORES WHORES
And this will never, ever, EVER fucking fail to make me giggle.
I’m all for healthcare reform if it includes ho lick stick medicines.
No gays is getting a job just because the goverment makes me give him one
Troofie, the jealousy here fairly leaps off the screen.
is there anyone else here who’s never seen an episode of Lost, has no idea what it’s about and couldn’t care less?
*raising hand*
They all tend to look like a penis or a sperm. I think that rule is in the Olympic Committee by-laws.
Which is why they represent the O-Limp-Dicks.
is there anyone else here who’s never seen an episode of Lost, has no idea what it’s about and couldn’t care less?
I pretty much don’t watch TV at all. It would cut into my computer gaming time.
So on the bad idea scale, where one is something like having an extra cookie before bedtime and where ten is something like becoming DKW’s stepdad or driving a supertanker through Prince William Sound after a few cocktails, where does trading a an extra bicycle for a hang glider rate?
The bike is a carbon fiber 2001 trek 5500 with dura ace componentry, custom paint and carbon wheels. I know next to nothing about the hang glider except that it is considered a good model for beginners.
How many times has it been crashed?
The glider, not the bike.
T&U
Diabetes in cats is manageable. I had one who was diagnosed when she was 12, and she lived for another 4 years before she died from an unrelated cause. She quickly got used to the insulin shots – she wouldn’t even slow down her eating when I gave it to her . Just make sure that you are using the smallest needles you can get.
Her litter box did look like a toxic waste dump, so be prepared to buy litter in bulk
How many times has it been crashed?
The guy said it has had a couple hard landings, but all bent spars were replaced and it is 100% airworthy. So there’s that.
Diabetes in cats is manageable.
Oooh, thanks for reminding me to call the vet! How do you manage their blood sugar? I would think it would be sort of a crapshoot?
Her litter box did look like a toxic waste dump, so be prepared to buy litter in bulk
I can’t imagine it being worse than it is now…and he doesn’t cover anything. I really do hope it’s just a UTI.
77,
If you can trade a ten year old Trek 5500 (I’m presuming you maintained it, slapped on new rubber as needed, and at least updated the cassette and chain ring to a newer version of the original equipment) for anything worth more than $350, I’d say go for it. You’ve got a bargain.
But have the frame checked first. Carbon is notorious for microfractures that get bad in a hurry. You don’t want the guy shooting at you as you glide over his house.
POOP.
POOP.
Kids understand the link between POOP and energy from the beginning. Two-year old smears some on the walls, mom or dad has to get up and scrub vigorously.
Kids understand the link between POOP and energy from the beginning. Two-year old smears some on the walls, mom or dad has to get up and scrub vigorously.
I was just looking at pictures of my nephew, which always makes me want a baby. Thanks for the reality check. Ew.
I was just looking at pictures of my nephew, which always makes me want a baby.
They’re mostly fun, and mostly harmless. And you know who never had kids?
HITLER!!!!!!
They’re mostly fun, and mostly harmless. And you know who never had kids?
HITLER!!!!!!
And DKW’s mom. But mostly Hitler.
Hey, Mark Twain is releasing a new book today!
They’re mostly fun, and mostly harmless.
I love kids, actually. We’ll probably adopt in a few years, but that’s really not making things easier on me right now. I’ve always had a strong maternal instinct, but my body is really pissed at my brain right now for not having a baby. I see them and I’ll start crying. It’s really fucking embarrassing.
I can’t imagine it being worse than it is now…
its all the extra sugar going through, and the resulting bacteria. You can kind of tell when the medication is off by how just how horrible it is. We never tracked blood sugar except on occasional visits to the vet. Just give it the shot while its eating, by lifting the nape and shooting there. It will never notice.
And DKW’s mom. But mostly Hitler.
Its funny how you never see them in the same place at the same time though… huh.
Its funny how you never see them in the same place at the same time though… huh.
And she does have that mustache…
Wow. This might be the coolest thing I’ve seen this year
Its funny how you never see them in the same place at the same time though… huh.
She’s always got her mouth full so I never hear her speak. I wonder…
Wow, actor, that is NEAT. Seems like you’d have to create a 3D digital map of the facade. I could see this being done with engineer’s survey tools. However it’s done, the illusions are incredible.
Gator,
If I’m reading the company website correctly, it looks like they hang a transparent screen in front of the facade for the projections, but you’re right: they have to do some form of surveying or holography to get the dimensions and planes just right.
Whoops. I didn’t see the dedicated website. They project on the actual structure, which is even more impressive:
http://www.projectiononbuildings.com/en
IMO, better that Abrams just do his own thing with the new movies (however incoherent) and take them in a whole new direction, as opposed to recycling Khan or V’Ger or Carol Marcus like some fans have been begging him for. That really would ruin the originals for me.
Agreed. Although technically Khan was already a recycled villain in STII. If you technically want to get technical.
If I’m reading the company website correctly, it looks like they hang a transparent screen in front of the facade for the projections
A ha! I wondered how they got it so luminous and avoided back angles!
The one you linked to is the concept video; it was used on the real building (the columned one) in another video on the site. Its a little less impressive. They also did one for the climate summit.
I suspect part of the diminished reality might just be the inadequacy of recording cameras, especially in the face of the streetlights. I’d really like to see it in person.
Even if it was just a computer video, it is great art. It could go viral even without ever being played on a real building.
Dog, they hinted at that in the website: the ad would get more play on YouTube and last longer for cheaper than any commercial.
As for the real v concept, the real video had some even cooler effects. Did you notice the one of the eye peering out from under the cornice?
actor212 said,
May 24, 2010 at 16:30
Wow. This might be the coolest thing I’ve seen this year
GRL did this years ago (I did it at home so I know it works!)
Willy, it wouldn’t surprise me to find out that those guys evolved into the company I linked to above: they’re all in the Netherlands.
Guilty as charged – I caught a scene on YouTube & promptly experienced multiple mehgasms … & I think I might’ve also seen about five or ten minutes of the original pilot.
Ditto for The Wire, which I’m really supposed to find enchanting & irresistable, what with the dystopian urban grit & all … & to make matters worse, way back in the day I also missed every single episode of Twin Peaks, so by now it’s safe to say my bleeding-edge hipster-cred = bupkis.
I’d need some skookum binoculars to even see the Kewl Kidz Table from where I’m sitting … but it sure is comfy back here.
Guilty as charged – I caught a scene on YouTube & promptly experienced multiple mehgasms
I didn’t get that far: a friend described it to me, and I said “So basically it’s the internal fantasy of some autistic kid” and turned the page.
Poll: Rand Paul Surges Ahead of Palin Among Voters Who Describe Themselves as Morons
In the poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, 42% preferred Paul, 36% preferred Palin, and the remaining 22% were unsure what the word “prefer” meant.
I’d need some skookum binoculars to even see the Kewl Kidz Table from where I’m sitting … but it sure is comfy back here.
Well, I hate The Sopranos, so I’m pretty much a pariah. If that makes you feel any better.
If the anecdotes of random Olympic athletes are to be believed, most of the Olympians have sex amongst themselves in the Olympic Village, which to my mind is one of the most endearing things about the games–that, after the competition is over, they enjoy international relations in the most literal, basic and ancient of ways.
Which means that the bulk of the prostitution is catering to the spectators; in other words, the hos are following the tourists. And Brent is somehow shocked by this.
Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute
“Minnesota Opinion Research Overview Network” would have been funnier
anyone else here who’s never seen an episode of Lost, has no idea what it’s about and couldn’t care less?
Sorry I’m late to the party but…
I saw the first episode and didn’t even watch that all the way thru. As soon as I saw a running jet engine after a crash (p=0) suck up a dazed survivor (p approaches zero) and explode (p=0) I felt it was going to be a waste of my (precious viewing) time.
BTW, T&U, if my guess about the final episode was correct, sorry if I spoiled it for you.
BTW, T&U, if my guess about the final episode was correct, sorry if I spoiled it for you.
What, that it’s the fantasies of an autistic person? That actually sounds interesting to me…
I haven’t watched the last 10 or so episodes anyway. And it’s gotten eye-rollingly obvious where it’s going this past season. Still, I’m looking forward to seeing if I’m as bitterly disappointed in the series finale as I was in the BSG finale.
Minnesota Opinion Research Analysis Network, actor
Still, I’m looking forward to seeing if I’m as bitterly disappointed in the series finale as I was in the BSG finale.
But…but…cute toy robots! Incredibly stupid angels! The call is coming from INSIDE OUR DNA!
Teabaggers get tattoos
I gave up on Lost with the button pushing obsession. It completely destroyed all the personality development for several of the characters for me; they could have just as easily had Sawyer start wearing dresses and demand to be called Queen of the Isle. I am more than willing to suspend disbelief, but when they can’t even keep characters remotely consistent for how they were developing, it just isn’t worth the effort anymore.
That said, a few episodes were really cool, and the flashback story telling was excellent.
But…but…cute toy robots! Incredibly stupid angels! The call is coming from INSIDE OUR DNA!
Seriously? Could they have been any more cliche? I actually didn’t expect that ending at all even though all signs pointed to it. I just thought, “No, they’re just trying to throw us off.” I was wrong. Terrible.
I gave up on Lost with the button pushing obsession. It completely destroyed all the personality development for several of the characters for me; they could have just as easily had Sawyer start wearing dresses and demand to be called Queen of the Isle.
Oh, the character development is clunky at best. But I really did enjoy the button-pushing. It was just so weird and kind of creepy. That was actually my favorite part of the series.
anyone else here who’s never seen an episode of Lost, has no idea what it’s about and couldn’t care less?
Over here! I was, as usual, listening to NPR the ogther day when they said something about the end of that long running show, ummm….. Law and Order? I remarked to myself that I had never seen even a single episode. Never watched Seinfeld either. I stopped watching TV circa 1975 so I am pretty much pop ilculturate. I offer this as explanation for not getting many of the jokes, illusions, references, jabs &c. ’round here.
Now we know who MSNBC will be sending to cover the olympics.
T&U —
I really really really really REALLY hope it’s not diabeetus, because he’s only 8, but it’s not outside the realm of possibility, as he is a fucking fatass.
Just got here, hence the late reply. Having cats with diabetes really isn’t as awful as it sounds. We’ve had two, and the premier symptom is peeing floods. Ours were on insulin twice a day, which they didn’t mind at all. You give them their shots in the scruff of the neck, where apparently they have very few nerve endings. You’ve just gotta be sure you don’t stick them in the muscle, because then they do object.
After staring on insulin they did great for years, both living to about 20. My suggestion would be to use human insulin needles instead of vet needles because they’re shorter and finer. Vet needles may be fine for dogs, but kittehs? Not so much. The syringes have different measurements, so you’ll have to do a bit of calculation to figure out how to translate units from one calibration to the other.
Good luck with the boy cat. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.
<i.Good luck with the boy cat. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Thanks. He’s going in on Wednesday morning. I think he’ll be fine.
WTF? Tag fail.
T&U, I’ll be looking for a report on Wednesday afternoon!
Pupienus
Your imperial highness, I have only three words to say to you:
“Corned Beef Lardons”
Holy crap, they were fan-fucking-tastic!
Yep. That one gets a “badda-bing, badda-bugger-off” from me, too.
Quite the ratio of curmudgeons here – no wonder it feels so homey.
The World Cup has everything covered. (scroll to bottom)
“Corned Beef Lardons”
Salted Fat Erections?
The World Cup has everything covered. (scroll to bottom)
Those and 999,999,997 more ought to cover it
Marion, thanks!
“Corned Beef Lardons”
I don’t know how I feel about this…I guess it would be pretty much the beef equivalent of regular old lardons.
Quite the ratio of curmudgeons here – no wonder it feels so homey.
I’m going to be the crankiest old person EVER.
I was pretty curmudgeonly about Lost for a long time. A polar bear? WTF? But that shit’s addictive.
Salted Fat Erections?
Indeed!
I don’t know how I feel about this…I guess it would be pretty much the beef equivalent of regular old lardons.
Pretty much, but for a
cheap-ass muthafuckerfrugal cook they are a good way to economize, and for a cook who keeps a kosher kitchen, they are a good workaround.they are a good way to economize
Really? Corned beef is less expensive than belly or fatback? I mean, I believe you, but I’m just surprised. (I do not doing the meat shopping in my household).
I always thought that duck fat would make a good kosher substitute, but corned beef is definitely cheaper than that.
“do not doing the meat shopping”
I’m going to blame that on the fact that I haven’t eaten lunch yet.
Has there ever been a non-creepy Oh-limp-ick mascot?
Misha’s pretty cute, but the US boycotted that year.
Really? Corned beef is less expensive than belly or fatback?
I went a little nuts when it went on sale for 99 cents a pound around the Solemn Feast of St. Patrick. I still have five briskets in the freezer, to be rationed out through the course of the year.
I trim excess fat from cooked briskets, and throw the trimmings in the freezer, for use when money or time for shopping is tight. Every so often, I make rice with pigeon peas, garnished with crispy lardons- a Caribbean dish which is a real low-budget meal.
Misha’s pretty cute, but the US boycotted that year.
Clearly the forerunner of Pedobear.
“Corned Beef Lardons”
I just did something in my jeans.
I’m going to be the crankiest old person EVER.
Only after I die and the title is up for grabs, toots.
I just did something in my jeans.
Lardon hardon?
‘Jever sprinkle a bit of brown sugar on the fatty side of the cooked brisket then toss it under the broiler for a few minutes? Crispy, sweet fat. Uhnhnnhnhnnnnnn.
You keep kosher? Shame, corned pork is equally awesome.
I went a little nuts when it went on sale for 99 cents a pound around the Solemn Feast of St. Patrick. I still have five briskets in the freezer, to be rationed out through the course of the year.
Ohhhh, good idea! We bought a lot of corned beef on sale a couple of years ago, but we just throw the fat in the trash and hope the cats don’t get into it.
Which reminds me that we need to eat all the crap in our deep freeze before we (hopefully) move in August. I think we’ll be eating venison for a month straight.
I think we’ll be eating venison for a month straight
I think there’s a liberal re-education camp visit for you in the near future!
<i.I think there’s a liberal re-education camp visit for you in the near future!
But it’s local and organic! And it wasn’t me who shot Bambi!
Fucking fuck. I can’t fucking type today.
And it wasn’t me who shot Bambi!
Then you should give him a proper cremation and burial….IN MAH BELLY!
I think there’s a liberal re-education camp visit for you in the near future!
Well, if you live in an area where Bambi and the entire clan, including second cousins once removed, come and eat everything green in your yard you might rethink that…
I just stumbled on this blog while searching for info on abominable author Brad Thor.
Some of you people are incredibly funny. I haven’t laughed so hard since my seventh grade English teacher accidentally farted at about ninety decibels during Bobby Watkin’s reading of his book report on Ben Hur.
Well, if you live in an area where Bambi and the entire clan, including second cousins once removed, come and eat everything green in your yard you might rethink that…
Oh, no doubt, Marion. I have a house in the country and “tried” (euphemism) to grow vegetables and flowers.
They like tiger lillies. I was rather surprised by that. My fucking balloon flowers, and the Japanese irises that spread like a plague, nnnnnnnnnnoooooooooo!!
I miss my bonzai red maple…
I haven’t laughed so hard since my seventh grade English teacher accidentally farted at about ninety decibels during Bobby Watkin’s reading of his book report on Ben Hur.
Who do you think fed her the beans?
We did.
Well, if you live in an area where Bambi and the entire clan, including second cousins once removed, come and eat everything green in your yard you might rethink that…
Deer are bastards on a variety of levels. I’ve only hit one (in a rental car, of course), but I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve nearly hit one. We have TONS around our apartment.
You keep kosher? Shame, corned pork is equally awesome.
Oh, lord, no! I’m a goy-boy! The kosher suggestion was a public service announcement for friends who keep kosher.
Which reminds me that we need to eat all the crap in our deep freeze before we (hopefully) move in August.
So, you and the hubby relocating to Brooklyn? If so, you should push up the move a month- Ted Leo will be playing the Siren Festival this year.
I just stumbled on this blog while searching for info on abominable author Brad Thor.
ONE OF US! ONE OF US!
Welcome to snark central.
I haven’t laughed so hard since my seventh grade English teacher accidentally farted at about ninety decibels during Bobby Watkin’s reading of his book report on Ben Hur.
That was just her subtle way of making an editorial comment on the book. Well, actor212 did give her that huge bean burrito for lunch…
So, you and the hubby relocating to Brooklyn? If so, you should push up the move a month- Ted Leo will be playing the Siren Festival this year.
Awesome!
We’re thinking about Portland, but it also depends on where we can get, like, jobs. I have a friend who works in sustainable food who lives in Brooklyn, so it’s definitely a possibility.
We can’t move until August, though, because I have to work weekends at a library all summer for school.
I’ve only hit one (in a rental car, of course), but I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve nearly hit one
I’ve been hit by a deer.
True story. I was whipping around a curve in the road, and saw a stand of them on the side: one buck, three does.
Fucking buck literally leaps the fifteen feet across the road and into my left rear quarter panel. He drops to the ground, and I freak out. Poor dude is squirming on the ground!
I slam on the brakes (it’s late at night) and race back to see if I should, you know…
The bastard jumps up, staggers a step then leaps off. The fuck was probably doing some “deer dude impresses the chicks” thing by banging into my car! Motherfucker almost gave me a heart attack, and then bounds off, laughing at me!
I know! I heard him! And the girls, the bitches!
STOP JUDGING ME!!!!!!!!!
I just stumbled on this blog while searching for info on abominable author Brad Thor.
Might I ask why?
I have a friend who works in sustainable food who lives in Brooklyn
Rat catcher. Gotcha.
have a friend who works in sustainable food who lives in Brooklyn, so it’s definitely a possibility.
I had a long conversation with a woman who is going to be raising hens in her backyard in Red Hook. It’s pretty amazing how homesteading can occur in such a major urban center. Me? I’ve got my eye on a patch of lamb’s quarters in front of the house.
actor212 said,
May 24, 2010 at 20:29
Good Lord, you sound like my mom’s ex who thought that roaches were sentient.
I hit a doe (well, she hit me), and it was about two hours after some little shit rear-ended me in the Kansas City suburbs. This was ALSO after one of the worst thunderstorms I’ve ever driven in. I was on hour 8 of a trip that was supposed to take 5 hours. I won’t lie–I totally cried.
Mr. T&U once hit a deer and decided to put it out of his misery with his handgun that he was target practicing with earlier that day. In city limits at 3:00 in the morning. Dumbass.
Rat catcher. Gotcha.
She’s in PR. She gets the word out about the nutritious and delicious qualities of the urban rat.
I had a long conversation with a woman who is going to be raising hens in her backyard in Red Hook. It’s pretty amazing how homesteading can occur in such a major urban center.
Yes! We just passed an ordinance here to make keeping chickens legal in the city limits. I know urban beekeeping is next on the agenda, and there’s a big push for it in New York.
I’ve got my eye on a patch of lamb’s quarters in front of the house.
That’s lamb’s quarters? Better be careful, it looks suspiciously like catnip.
In city limits at 3:00 in the morning. Dumbass.
how much bail did you have to post?
We bought a lot of corned beef on sale
You fucking WHAT? You bought corned beef? Did you not perhaps mean to type “we made a lot of corned beef?” ‘Cuz, anyone who doesn’t make their own corned beef is, like, well I dunno…st00pid or sumpin.
That was just her subtle way of making an editorial comment on the book
It helps to know that the teacher, Miss Kite (actual name), was one of those impeccably proper throwback women who somehow was propelled via a wormhole from the 1950s to the 1980s. She always wore a skirt, bright red lipstick, and a little hairnet over her bun, even though she was probably about thirty-five at the time. She was, in essence, the last woman on earth you’d expect who would fart in public. So when she let out with her sudden flatulent soliloquy, well, you get the idea. I related this to my husband recently, and he said she probably had a secret wild life that include generous helpings of anal sex.
ONE OF US! ONE OF US!
I actually read an entire Brad Thor novel and lived to tell the tale, so I’ve survived a sort of literary trial by fire, I guess. Of course, using the word “literary” in any reference to Brad Thor is, by its very nature, an extreme oxymoron. I do feel slightly sorry for Mister Thor, however — his tiny ego dictates that he must spend considerable time editing his own entry at Wikipedia.
‘Cuz, anyone who doesn’t make their own corned beef is, like, well I dunno…st00pid or sumpin.
We’re in Noo Yawk, not some backwater DIY town like, say Portland. We have actual Irishmen here.
how much bail did you have to post?
He couldn’t hear for two days, but he actually got away with it!
His boss did have to bail him out a few years ago over some traffic ticket stuff that I’m still not sure I understand.
his tiny ego dictates that he must spend considerable time editing his own entry at Wikipedia.
In fairness, he had to once I was done with all the possible permutations and combinations of “I’m Mighty Thor” I posted on it.
You bought corned beef? Did you not perhaps mean to type “we made a lot of corned beef?” ‘Cuz, anyone who doesn’t make their own corned beef is, like, well I dunno…st00pid or sumpin.
There’s only so much fucking brining and curing and shit I can take, dude!
Might I ask why?
After reading glowing and breathy reviews of his books on Amazon and elsewhere on the Interwebs, to prevent sudden and permanent insanity, I had to seek out reason and sanity somewhere else. I followed a link which linked to a link and then another link and ended up here.
I had to seek out reason and sanity somewhere else. I followed a link which linked to a link and then another link and ended up here.
This is your idea of sane?
Can I have your drugs?
I know urban beekeeping is next on the agenda, and there’s a big push for it in New York.
Amy Ruth’s in Harlem has a (perhaps illegal) rooftop hive.
You fucking WHAT? You bought corned beef?
It’s cheaper to buy, it’s always on deep-discount in March.
We’re in Noo Yawk, not some backwater DIY town like, say Portland. We have actual Irishmen here.
Actual Irishmen don’t eat it- they cook their cabbage with boiling bacon, a cured pork loin.
She always wore a skirt, bright red lipstick, and a little hairnet over her bun
It would seem that her name was changed from Miss Tigh to Miss Kite during her travel through the wormhole. She taught me at PS 6 in Manhattan in about 1955 or so.
to prevent sudden and permanent insanity, I had to seek out reason and sanity somewhere else. I followed a link which linked to a link and then another link and ended up here.
Out of the frying pan, into the maelstrom of madness!
This is your idea of sane?
Well, you know the old aphorism: “the enemy of my enemy is my friend.”
And, do please note, I didn’t say this place was sane. I was seeking sanity. It’s sort of like saying, “I was searching for a clean restroom and ended up using the Arco station.” There’s a fancy logics word to explain this correlation but the thorazine has dulled my wit to the sharpness of kindergarten scissors and I can’t remember.
It would seem that her name was changed from Miss Tigh to Miss Kite during her travel through the wormhole.
Tight Kite. Interesting.
She taught me at PS 6 in Manhattan
*GASP*
PS 6? Our rival school in rankings!
Mr. T&U once hit a deer and decided to put it out of his misery with his handgun that he was target practicing with earlier that day. In city limits at 3:00 in the morning. Dumbass.
Silly Mr. T&U. this is why there is a lug wrench in the trunk.
The one time I hit a deer, I was driving back to Wisconsin after failing to establish myself in a job in Jackson WY, at midnight or so, just outside of Wall SD, I hit this deer. I was so mad I did not make sure it was dead. Having done a lot of growing up in the midwest I do believe this was a failure on my part, I hate to think of that deer suffering. Then when I had to pay $2000 to get my Blazer fixed, I enjoyed the thought of that deer suffering (but I felt guilty about that too)
I had to seek out reason and sanity somewhere else. I followed a link which linked to a link and then another link and ended up here.
Uh, yeah, good luck with that sanity thing.
Would you like a Prozac? I keep them in this handy Mr. T Pez dispenser.
I didn’t say this place was sane. I was seeking sanity. It’s sort of like saying, “I was searching for a clean restroom and ended up using the Arco station.”
OK, you can stay. That was funny.
I keep them in this handy Mr. T Pez dispenser
I pity the….ooooh, colors!
This is your idea of sane?
Can I have your drugs?
Dammit. That’s what I get for searching to see if Mr. T Pez dispensers, in fact, exist.
the thorazine has dulled my wit to the sharpness of kindergarten scissors
You’ll fit in here just fine.
You’ll fit in here just fine.
Did you just call us dullwitted?
Ohno, you din’t!
Silly Mr. T&U. this is why there is a lug wrench in the trunk.
I’m not sure he felt like beating the deer to death. Then again, it would have been a smarter move than shooting off a 9 mm into the pavement at close fucking range.
I’m not sure he felt like beating the deer to death.
What? And miss recreating that famous scene from 2001, toss his tire iron in the air and have it clunk him in the head as he waits for it to magically turn into the Pan Am spaceplane???
Ah, I just found the link that got me here. I was reading one-star customer reviews of The First Assassin by John J. Miller when I came across this critique:
“With its rambling descriptions of dull minutiae (nineteenth-century hotel wallpaper, the slovenliness of the abolitionists, and so on) “The First Assassin” is the bibliophile’s equivalent of a summer picnic in church clothes. What begins as a lark gradually descends into annoying itchiness and thence into a sweaty torpor that makes one grateful that the cool of the grave, ultimately, awaits.”
That was some seriously funny shit, to which some Palinesque wench pandering for free quilt books let the proverbial feline out of the sack by revealing that “SadlyNo.com” was the source of all this hostility. I knew I had to check it out.
Badoodly oodly, loony libs, gotta to to my lovely, cushy second job!
Keep on snarking!
Ah, I just found the link that got me here. I was reading one-star customer reviews of The First Assassin by John J. Miller when I came across this critique:
Ah, yes. That was some genius stuff, there.
That was some seriously funny shit, to which some Palinesque wench pandering for free quilt books let the proverbial feline out of the sack by revealing that “SadlyNo.com” was the source of all this hostility. I knew I had to check it out.
welcome to the hacienda of hostile.
<i.And miss recreating that famous scene from 2001, toss his tire iron in the air and have it clunk him in the head as he waits for it to magically turn into the Pan Am spaceplane???
Hey! Keep out of my Pez dispenser.
The took down all our tags, though! Bastards.
Willa, I’m blaming you for all my typing problems today. They’ve never been this bad before.
Our rival school in rankings!
Sorry y’all always had to be #2. You’re still #1 in my heart, actor…
“…anyone else here who’s never seen an episode of Lost, has no idea what it’s about and couldn’t care less?”
I liked the first ep. of LOST, but ever since I got burned on THE X-FILES/CARNIVALE/etc. going nowhere in egregious bad faith, I’m real choosy about the long-form series I put my time in.
welcome to the hacienda of hostile.
House of ill dispute!
What do you think of the outfit.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/24/venus-williams-french-ope_n_586760.html#slide_image
Deer are bastards on a variety of levels. I’ve only hit one (in a rental car, of course),
And I bet it had stolen it.
What do you think of the outfit.
Oh, I wore that to work last week. Her ass looks better in it, though. Bitch.
House of ill dispute!
Home of Uncle tsam and anti-Sarah.
And I bet it had stolen it.
And it was a Hummer!
What do you think of the outfit.
French Open?
Nice homage to the Montmarte and Moulin Rouge.
Willa says:
Some of us are funny. Clearly she means just me but is too polite to say so. I’m a little embarrassed for the rest of you right now.
Hey thanks, Willa. All the writers on my staff are Jewish.
Some of us are funny. Clearly she means just me but is too polite to say so.
MPD is kicking in? She said “some,” not “one”.
I know urban beekeeping is next on the agenda
“Just think, if we kept a cow, we would have our own milk.”
“Why yes! And if we kept our own bee, we would have honey!” *
* Allegedly an actual exchange.
MPD is kicking in? She said “some,” not “one”.
Seriously, people. Keep out of my Pez dispenser.
actor, stop being elitist and worrying about the “precise meanings” of words.
actor, stop being elitist and worrying about the “precise meanings” of words.
OK.
Some of you is full of shit.
You’re spinning your wheels, actor. I’m watching the Rifftrax version of Troll 2. There is NO harshing my mellow.
I’m watching the Rifftrax version of Troll 2
Is that subtitled “When Troofie Met Sally”?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/doug-lansky/the-most-homoerotic-signs_b_587114.html#slide_image
In Russia, the sausage sucks YOU!
When I want a dicking I always say it’s just for “medical treatment.”
“I’m watching the Rifftrax version of Troll 2. There is NO harshing my mellow.”
…spoken by someone who has never seen LEPRECHAUN IN THE HOOD.
OH. Em. Gee. That definitely sounds “Riff” able. I will have to look that up.
I can’t wait until Mike finally releases “Plan 9 From Outer Space” to DVD.
Oh geez. I don’t know. I just finished it up. So…many…thoughts… Would “Troofie Met Sally” be the sort of film that reads–unsubtly–as some sort of anti-vegetarian screed that was written in English, then translated into Swedish, then back into English and clearly be the work of someone hopped up on PCP and Dutch Boy paint?
That definitely sounds “Riff” able. I will have to look that up.
Yeah, it’s pretty amazing.
“That definitely sounds “Riff” able.”
Rapping gangsta leps and zombie minions vs. Ice-T/various knuckleheads. You’re welcome.
actor, I’m going through and saving all the new Rifftrax releases at Netflix. I love those guys. I just watched “The Final Sacrifice” yesterday for the second time and was kind of in awe of how fucking funny it was.
T&U, deering…kudos for pointing me to it. I will definitely give it a looksee. But I bet it won’t beat “The Room.” I watched that film sans commentary and company and I thought it was so fucking funny I felt like it was an out-of-body experience. It was, like, surreal.
But I bet it won’t beat “The Room.”
I haven’t seen that, but I’ve heard it’s a classic. There are screenings for it sort of like Rocky Horror Picture Show.
actor, I’m going through and saving all the new Rifftrax releases at Netflix.
I’ve got MST3K: Blood Waters of Dr Z on my list coming up soon.
FU, WP!!!!
Apparently, WP is judgmental about my movie-viewing habits. Fuck you, WordPress. If I want to think “The Room” is the best movie ever made (and it most assuredly is), that’s my prerogative.
Anyway…T&U…I was just getting the vapors telling you to see it ASAP. It’s nothing less than transcendent.
Seen it. Good stuff.
But I bet it won’t beat “The Room.”
I had to go look that one up, since I’m not up on my, you know, hipster shit.
Wow. This guy Wiseau makes Ed Wood seem self-aware. Wrote the book, the play, the movie, stars in the film AND spends $7 million of his own money when no studio would touch it!
What do you think of the outfit.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/24/venus-williams-french-ope_n_586760.html#slide_image
Ouch. She looks like someone’s alcoholic great-grandmother in that picture.
Mmm, it is “french” so style points for relevance, but with those red straps? So not her.
But kudos for pushing the envelope! That preppy look is so played.
Nothing like a nasty primary to kill a candidate for the final.
One would hope, but there’s the little matter of 2008 to consider. All the same, I saw some Whitman ads, and it really is quite a pit the GOP is digging: “too liberal” for the base is probably more electable in the purple state of California. Wilson lost his support when he took a hard right turn on immigration; Schwarzenegger is trying hard to keep his centrist cred during election years. California’s full of right-wing loonies, but I doubt their ability to carry the state; the only Republican who could win would have to convey some combination of charisma and harmlessness, and the teabag-enablers of the current party have lost that talent, I think. Of course, there’s the matter of how DO people feel about Jerry Brown these days? Don’t have an answer for that.
where does trading a an extra bicycle for a hang glider rate?
You should have held out for the magic beans.
actor…it’s…just…well I wouldn’t know where to begin. Did you check out the youtube trailer?
BTW, if I’m ever “up” on anything remotely hipster-ish, it’s only because I’m just glancing at it from the periphery.
welcome to the hacienda of hostile.
the zombies here are friendly, regardless of what that actor bastard says.
since I’m not up on my, you know, hipster shit.
I don’t like what you’re implying, here.
the zombies here are friendly, regardless of what that actor bastard says.
And here I was going to give you the lead in my new Hemingway adaptation, The Old Man and The Z.
Did you check out the youtube trailer?
I’m concerned that if I click on it, the city of New York will lock down.
So, Lost fans:
Heroes bad, or X-Files forgivable?
I’ll be honest with you: it does mess with the time/space continuum…but it’s so totes worth it!
I don’t like what you’re implying, here.
What? I’m just admitting my irrelevance to the marketing pros of American commerce!
And here I was going to give you the lead in my new Hemingway adaptation, The Old Man and The Z.
sure you were. After I came up to see your “etchings”. You’re a sick man.
Of course, I suck at tags.
Maybe my favorite MST3K was an Italian fantasy version the Gor pulptastic fiction; “Outlaw”. It had Jack Palance in it and a woman who was NOT Jane Russel. Special features included the song “Boobular Tubular Joy” and a Tribute to the Buffalo Shot (featuring midgets!).
In fact: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3759404933135524389#
The song is at 42:45 or so.
What? I’m just admitting my irrelevance to the marketing pros of American commerce!
Oh, I apologize. I get touchy about being called a hipster.
And “The Room” was hardly marketed…
sure you were. After I came up to see your “etchings”. You’re a sick man.
Says the creature who wants to nom-nom me and not in the fun way.
I do feel slightly sorry for Mister Thor, however — his tiny ego dictates that he must spend considerable time editing his own entry at Wikipedia.
Hell, with that sort of personality profile I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s a wikipedia editor.
Which of you people wrote the IMDB review for The Room?
I don’t think I’ve seen that one. Have to check it out.
My favorite MST3K line is
from “The Girl in Gold Boots.” *wipes tears of laughter*
Heroes bad, or X-Files forgivable?
Millenium “please, I want you to be so much better than this”*
*That’s what she said! **
** No, wait, I meant … doh.
Maybe my favorite MST3K was an Italian fantasy version the Gor pulptastic fiction; “Outlaw”.
That was one of the best ones, not least because eveery fucking nerd my age must have been screwed into reading the first twenty five books of the series trying to figure out what the fuck was going on.
It was like LOST, only sensible.
My favorite all-time episode was Robot Holocaust: “Yesssssssssstark one” and “Who is this woman who walks through the She Zone with male scum? “
Wish I could take credit. Still, I think s/he is understated in his/her praise. Perhaps feelings re: “The Room” cannot be conveyed in mere words. And if any of you want to see my interpretive dance about it, I’ll be uploading it to youtube later. You’re welcome.
Been there, done that. But when I didn’t, you know…wash down there…after.
You should have held out for the magic beans.
I haven’t made the trade yet, I can still hold out for a hang glider and 3 magic beans to be named later. Or he mentioned he and his wife are expecting twins, I might be able to snag one. Not for myself, but T&U might have something worth trading for.
He is a tantalizing mystery stuffed inside an enigma wrapped in bacon and smothered in cheese.
*throwing down newspaper in disgust*
Bah! B^4 beat me yet again to writing a review!
He is a tantalizing mystery stuffed inside an enigma wrapped in bacon and smothered in cheese.
Never has a shitty filmmaker sounded so goddamn delicious.
Our local radio personages noted that the job required a well-seasoned worker.
Been there, done that. But when I didn’t, you know…wash down there…after.
My favorite part of that movie is, it was filmed at an old abandoned asylum for the criminally insane on Roosevelt Island, which I used to explore as a kid. So when they shoot the ending on the island, I’m all like, “I been there, seen that, oh look, Lisa’s apartment!”
The morgue was special fun. It was underground and still had the lockers and doors and stuff. We used to scare the shit (in one case literally) out of people….ahhh, good times!
Our local radio personages noted that the job required a well-seasoned worker.
He sure likes to try to put his all into it.
sure you were. After I came up to see your “etchings”. You’re a sick man.
Police reconstruction of actor212’s zombie-seduction etchings.
actor, that’s super-neat…and I thank you for blunting the crudeness of my extremely tasteless joke. 🙂
I thank you for blunting the crudeness of my extremely tasteless joke.
Well, you did remind me I need to buy condoms, just in case.
Why did I not receive an action report on this in triplicate?
Well, it’s the tightrope walk of nuts enough to win the primary vs. sane enough to win the election. I’m not sure that’s possible at this point. The incredibly ugly Dem primary hurt Angelides bad last time. It dampened a lot of enthusiasm among the base and was seen as a big factor in Arnie’s win. I was sick of looking at both of the Dem candidates by the time the primary finally came, and seriously cast a clothespin vote just because I can’t stand Arnie. I keep thinking that the “Liberal” slinging can’t help but do the same this time around for the goopers. Whoever wins will have a ready-disgusted base to work with, and no room to tack right in the general. The independents are important, but nobody wins without a well rallied base.
I don’t even know how I feel about Brown, but he’s bound to be better than his opponent.
Not from Cali but I like Brown.
Jerry “Moonbeam” Brown will be the savior of Californicatia.
I still think the best mst3k heckle line was total silence after “The Blood of Uranus will not go unavenged!” or something similar. Just a head turn and jaw flap was plenty. Some stuff you just can’t touch.
I think it was from Hercules and the Captive Women.
I mean christ, he fucking dated Linda Ronstadt! What more do you need to know?
You know how you have a stupid worry you never vocalize because it is just too horrible to contemplate and everyone will think you are crazy for it?
http://monkeyfister.blogspot.com/
Jesus fucking christ. I thought it would just come up outside the casing and around the BOP. Instead, it is finding its ways through the sea bed, even hundreds of feet away.
though according to the site’s author, they haven’t shown the BOP in a day now.
when I hear MST3K I think of the song..
“Slow the plot down laddies, slow the plot down,
weighty, hi, slow the plot down…
We’ll scuttle the story and run her aground….
we’ll try to hard to slow the plot down!”
I offer this as explanation for not getting many of the jokes, illusions, references, jabs &c. ’round here.
What is this POOP that everyone goes on about?
Moar etchings for actor212
and ZRM.Corned beef is the Nickleback of lunch meats: Discuss.
Corned beef is the Nickleback of lunch meats: Discuss.
Have you lost your goddamn mind?
Corned beef is the Nickleback of lunch meats
Well sure, if you buy that crap they sell at the supermarket. Know whumsayin, huh?
Corned beef is the Nickleback of lunch meats: Discuss.
Unpossible. Nickleback is the corned ham of preservatives.
Another successful threadkill. My count is huge.
I’m too lazy to read stuff. Did we talk about Judd Gregg stealing jokes from Erick Erickson?
Cool feature in Chrome
Tsam: is this you?
http://www.marriedtothesea.com/031609/threadsecutioner.gif
Tsam: is this you?
One and the same, my brother!
Yeah, I’m gonna do it. All Sadlynauts take heed. The new and improved tsam is called threadsecutioner.
Same great taste, only better.
\m/ >.< \m/
All hail the threadsecutioner!
\m/ >.< \m/
That is SO cool. I’ve never seen that before. HA!
tsam, we still luv ya.
Sometimes I worry I’m Threadslayer myself. Then I stop worrying because I really don’t give a shit.
tsam, we still luv ya.
Speak for yerself.
(I keed…)
“…or X-Files forgivable?”
The chain-jerking X-FILES put everyone through wasn’t hardly forgivable…
…and don’t even get me started on HARSH REALM or THE LONE GUNMEN.
Somebody has never been to Katz’s
Though I’m more of a pastrami man, meself.
“Never has a shitty filmmaker sounded so goddamn delicious.”
Nope, sorry–I’m not going near the KFC “Double-Down.” Not enough bacon in the world…
Sometimes I worry I’m Threadslayer myself. Then I stop worrying because I really don’t give a shit.
I don’t much care either. I don’t take it personally–I know that being out West means people are doing their evening activities instead of
wasting away the last half hour of the workdayusing the computer. I think I’m sticking with threadsecutioner c/o 77south. That might be the coolest name up in this place!Did I tell you that “The Enlightenment” is my desktop background?
Speak for yerself.
(I keed…)
BOW DOWN before the threadsecutioner! VbjR!
\m/ >.< \m/
Imma gonna have to put on a Slayer record if you keep that shit up.
‘Course first I’ll have to go
stealbuy a Slayer record.Screw it, Eagles of Death Metal is close enough. RAWK ON, BRUTHA!
\m/
Imma gonna have to put on a Slayer record if you keep that shit up.
We could really kill this thread by posting some Slayer lyrics. I’m sure everyone here would totally dig that.
Ha! That little emoticon thingy reminds me of a hilarious story. (Likely only hilarious to me, but since I’m the threadsecutioner, I’m running with it).
I always do the headbang with the devil horns up in the air to make fun of songs I don’t like–and my girlfriend HATES it when I do that. She’ll dive across a table at a restaurant to take my hand out of the air. Of course it’s become a torture device for me now. So now, whenever Barry Manilow or some such crap hits the speakers, she shoots me the “Oh god, no, please don’t!” look.
Guess you have to be there.
tsam, I’m a stay-at-home housfrau/digital artist so I check in quite a lot. Sometimes I feel chatty, sometimes I don’t. I notice conversation ebbs and flows on here. I’m always bummed when I think I’ve said something super-funny and it doesn’t get props (which is all the time, because I’m so fucking hilarious)…but I don’t take it personally. I mean, pretty much everyone on here is hilarious. Which is why I started lurking to begin with. Also…I’m on the East coast. So I can be here to annoy you all ALL DAY AND NIGHT!!! WOO-HOO!
Oh, and I forgot to say I’m super-honored my piece is your desktop. That is so cool. 🙂
And…if you were to recommend an Eagles of Death Metal song in the vein of “Cherry Cola,” which would it be?
tsam said,
Cool feature in Chrome
Checking the top referral pages, we find 2 Google searches:
“is lisa kudrow related to larry kudrow”
“kitty werthmann snopes”
and one Bing search
“pajama slave dancers”
I am so skeeved out.
Corned beef is the Nickleback of lunch meats: Discuss.
Well, if you buy the canned stuff, all bets are off.
And…if you were to recommend an Eagles of Death Metal song in the vein of “Cherry Cola,” which would it be?
Almost everything on Death by Sexy is pretty good (excluding The Ballad of Queen Bee and Baby Duck). I’m particularly fond of Chase the Devil and I Want You So Hard (Boy’s Bad News). Well, fond is probably a poor choice of words for EoDM tunes but you get the idea.
I couldn’t get into Peace Love Death Metal; haven’t listened to Heart On yet.
tsam said,
Cool feature in Chrome
Checking the top referral pages, we find 2 Google searches:
“is lisa kudrow related to larry kudrow”
“kitty werthmann snopes”
and one Bing search
“pajama slave dancers”
I am so skeeved out.
**resisting temptation to google pajama slave dancers***
I also noticed that you can see ip’s and domains from visitors. Lots of .edu’s here at Sadly, No! I wonder if there is moran.dum for Redstate’s site. Could be an interesting read!
WC, I’m gonna check those out on iTunes.
“ThreadEX: When you absolutely, positively have to kill the thread.”
(Spoken as someone who has seen looooong gaps of time between my comment and the next one)
See? It’s begun.
I give you the “Pajama Slave Dancers”
Boston area punk band (1984-1993)
http://www.scaruffi.com/vol4/pajama.html
One remembers the grand old days of Pajama slave dances at the Aramoho Palais Ballroom
“pajama slave dancers”
I am so skeeved out.
What did you expect, Victor Davis Hanson in S&M gear?
I notice conversation ebbs and flows on here. I’m always bummed when I think I’ve said something super-funny and it doesn’t get props (which is all the time, because I’m so fucking hilarious)
Don’t worry–I’m sure I laughed IRL even if I didn’t respond.
I think it’s worse if your comment is truly inspired. For me , unless I can top it or riff, it’s hard to justify one of those stultifying comebacks like “That’s mighty funny”.
Now I don’t know for sure about anyone else, but I’m guessing I’m not the only one. (Of course, some people here are awesome at taking a good joke and running with it… which is why I keep coming back here for stress relief.)
I give you the “Pajama Slave Dancers”
Boston area punk band (1984-1993)
$#@! Never heard of them. All my cred is gone.
Oops, was I supposed to admit to that?
(Oh well, everyone at my high school was into ska, anyway.)
See? It’s begun.
I feel ya.
I give you the “Pajama Slave Dancers”
Boston area punk band (1984-1993)
Wow–mangoes that don’t make your head pointy and empty! Let’s not get into that habit up in here!
In other news, engineers are hard at work creating a sexier robot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmIf-slNEC8&feature=related
Now we have google searches for “pig orgasms” and “how did ancient greeks tie calliope into their lives.”
Okay, the first one I can understand, but who fucking types that long a search string like the second?
More sexxay fun from the clown car that is officially called South Carolina
Shorter Will Folks:
Nicki Haley? I fucked her.
There are some grody mangoes for y’all.
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Also, I always thought PSD was an Amherst band.
In other news, engineers are hard at work creating a sexier robot.
Cancer? AIDS? Meh. No profit in that!
I notice conversation ebbs and flows on here. I’m always bummed when I think I’ve said something super-funny and it doesn’t get props (which is all the time, because I’m so fucking hilarious)
You can’t back off…double down! The odds are we just didn’t understand it! If you don’t get the response you thought you should have got, you should totally explain the joke in excruciating detail, as if to retarded children.
As if?
You can’t back off…double down! The odds are we just didn’t understand it! If you don’t get the response you thought you should have got, you should totally explain the joke in excruciating detail, as if to retarded children.
Not fucking funny.
not a gator, I’m always tempted to LOL every thread to death. But I resist. I do try to give a shout out to posts that actually get me to snicker out loud.
Mysticdog, I find the more you have to explain a joke the funnier it is. So. Yeah.
It’s a non-stop humor symposium here, where the analysis (Of humor & the political scene.) is as trenchant as the jokes.
An unintended side effect was bringing down of several administrations, often as the result of one groaning pun or mere throw-away comment.
Oh, absolutely!!! People love it, too!
;P
not a gator, I’m always tempted to LOL every thread to death. But I resist. I do try to give a shout out to posts that actually get me to snicker out loud
I love to tell people when they make me laugh. It’s like repaying the favor a little. It’s just like when I get a…well, I should stop there.
threadsecutioner said,
May 25, 2010 at 0:48
Nice new threads, 77.
The new and improved tsam is called threadsecutioner.
Aw fuck….would y’all stop confusing those of us who are easily confused????
Corned beef is the Nickleback of lunch meats: Discuss.
Indeed, they should either change the name of the band to Cornedback or give you a Nicklebeef album with every purchase.
“how did ancient greeks tie calliope into their lives.”
Okay, the first one I can understand, but who fucking types that long a search string like the second?
It’s called cheating on your take-home final.
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/31205.html#comment-1075711
linky