Oh No! Not My Zappatos!
Posted on April 26th, 2010 by Tintin
ABOVE: Debbie Schlussel, White American Patriot.
Shorter Debbie Scheißell
With Women, Obama Turning U.S. Navy Into “Village People’s” Navy1
- A 1959 Cary Grant comedy is all the proof I need that women on submarines will get pregnant.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
1 WTF? I mean WTF(ckity)FFF do the Village People have to do with this?? Is Obama thinking of allowing Indians and Negroes on submarines? Does she not know that the Village People are GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY and wouldn’t want women “In The Navy” — their veiled paean to rum, sodomy and the lash?
Poor helpless military leaders. Sniff.
Gay men, women-pfffff, what’s the difference, anyhow?
PUH-LEEZE. Imagine you are an officer in the Navy, perhaps a commanding officer of many troops, maybe even a high-ranking Brigadier General.
Reprinted without comment.
Are we sure she isn’t projecting some kind of weird personal fantasy?
Poow, poow wittle miwitawy weaduhs. Sniff.
So: are turkey basters naval equipment?
women are now being phased
there’s yer problem right there
Why do conservatives insist on referencing fictional works when arguing policy? If it’s not “24” for (ahem) enhanced interrogation techniques or Jonah Goldberg whacking off to Bill Pullman as the President in “Independence Day,” now we have ol’ Deb using “Operation Petticoat.” Leave it to Schlussel to use a 1959 Cary Grant/Tony Curtis vehicle to stay relevant with the kids.
So wait, the ladeez can only join if they wear assless chaps? Will they give all the men hard hats?
Imagine you are an officer in the Navy, perhaps a commanding officer of many troops, maybe even a high-ranking Brigadier General.
I am too busy imagining myself as an Admiral of the Army.
No way am I getting out of the submarine to look for mangoes.
“sanitary and sex issues…Periods and pregnancies do not belong on Navy submarines..”
It must be awful to hate your own body that much. I wonder if she hangs out in the menstruation hut out back during that time of the month.
I got out of the boat.
Not to read Debbie’s column, mind you. I had to go ashore to buy lipstick, a wig and a pretty prom dress so I won’t feel out of place when we cross the equator.
Tintin, I think she just got confused. When she thinks “seamen,” she self-triggers; it’s all about seks seks seks. Her anti DADT repeal post got mixed up in her little head with women in the the Fuhrer’s Navee resulting in that post.
Note that this premise does not intend to say shje isn’t just bugfuckingly idiotic.
Oh boy. I got off the boat (pardon the pun given the topic) and, for once, I am so glad. The comic power of the post is strong.
In particular, immediately following a montage of a poster for said Cary Grant film, a picture of Obama smiling, a submarine and a female symbol, was the statement: “But logic, facts, and consequences aren’t important to the Obama administration”. Logic of no importance to the Obama administration? After that montage? Project much Debbie?
Anyway, it seems that Lil’ Debbie’s main concerns are that people will have sex which is teh icky and that women have periods which are teh icky. What is the obsession of conservatives with bodily fluids?
Of course, as usual with the right, underlying all the squeemishness about standard-issue physiological phenomena (I am amazed that any health care providers can be righty-tighties … simply because being a righty-tighty requires a squeemishness about physiology incompatible with being a health care providers and not fainting or puking) is the regret about desegregation. Any other way to explain “Social experiments in the military are always a disaster.” So lil’ Debbie, was desegregating the military a disaster? Harry Truman might disagree with ya …
The levels of sexual harassment and even rape in the armed forces is very high. I’ve heard something like %30. So I also have my worries about putting women in submarines. Though hardly for Debbie’s same reason.
Besides, everyone knows that some like it hot, baby.
“sanitary and sex issues…Periods and pregnancies do not belong on Navy submarines..”
I never could understand the squeamishness here. What’s the difference between one body emission that gets disposed of through the plumbing, and another bodily emission that gets disposed of through the plumbing?
If the military can handle P00P on submarines (or in trenches, for that matter – I’m talking to you, Newt Gingrich) what would be the problem with Girl Stuff?
“women are now being phased into Navy subs.”
Speak for yourself bitch. Sure I gained a little, who hasn’t, but I’m not that big.
“sanitary and sex issues…Periods and pregnancies do not belong on Navy submarines..”
Goes without saying that farting is cause for a court-martial.
someone should point out to Debbie that women serve on boats all the time. What’s the difference between boats and subs – at least regarding whatever she’s worried about? Women live on the space station, too – isn’t that even more isolated?
“How many women on subs will get pregnant?”
Gay abortions for everyone!
If the military can handle P00P on submarines (or in trenches, for that matter – I’m talking to you, Newt Gingrich) what would be the problem with Girl Stuff?
Well it’s blood, and they’re in the water, so, um… sharks?
Here is a very creative solution from one of Debbie’s common taters:
Yes, that’s right, let’s feminize the mens! Black licorice?? Really??
So I also have my worries about putting women in submarines.
Men and women have served together on surface vessels for years, and one would think that would present the same issues on long deployments as in a sub, other than the forced close quarters. And who knows, generally submariners are a pretty nerdy group compared to the surface fleet, they might not be so rapey as the rest of the navy.
If the military can handle P00P on submarines (or in trenches, for that matter – I’m talking to you, Newt Gingrich) what would be the problem with Girl Stuff?
My thoughts exactly. And if it’s that big of a deal, they can give women the birth control that suppresses periods dealios.
Know who else was a woman? HITLER.
black licorice supplements or soy products.
Standard mess fare will henceforth be chicken* braised with licorice in soy milk.
*Perhaps one of my readers could supply a link – I’m too busy with a sammich just now.
Umm, I dleiberately did not say “galley fare” because submarines “are manned by troops” under the command of Brigadier generals. Just thought I’d point that out before someone accuses me of actor212ing myself.
Just curb libido in the male crews by giving them black licorice supplements or soy products. Soy contains phytoestrogen, which is the plant world’s version of estrogen. Just like the human hormone estrogen, phytoestrogen can decrease your libido.
Sound like a plan. Not a good plan, mind you, but SHUT UP THAT’S WHY.
And it “sounds,” too. Also and so forth.
There is simply no connection at all between potential preggos in submarines and the Village People. She doesn’t even posit a *lame* reason. So this is even less sense than usual for her. Interestingly, this come after a period when she’s been far more rational than usual – as shown in her pursuit of Hannity’s fake charity.
Perhaps these two events are linked. Maybe like some kind of ecstasy binge, her surge towards actual rationality caused a neuropeptide depletion and she’ll climbing up out of this mental e-hole for another week or longer, before she’s back to merely flatlining.
Men and women have served together on surface vessels for years, and one would think that would present the same issues on long deployments as in a sub
The difference is that submarines are more PENIS-shaped, so magical thinking demands that they be crewed only by PENIS.
Interestingly, this come after a period when she’s been far more rational than usual
Perhaps she’s worried if she were to go on a submarine and get pregnant she’d stop having her rational periods?
The difference is that submarines are more PENIS-shaped, so magical thinking demands that they be crewed only by PENIS.
The workings of sympathetic magic also demand that only the Women’s Auxiliaries should work in the submarine docks.
The difference is that submarines are more PENIS-shaped,
And, they contain seamen.
Know who else was a woman? HITLER.
Etymologically it means “housewife with mustache.”
The shocking lack of Brigadier Generals which Obama has allowed our Navy to develop is proof of his hatred of all things American. This would never have happened with Reagan.
The difference is that submarines are more PENIS-shaped, so magical thinking demands that they be crewed only by PENIS.
And they shoot PENISES out of tubes!
So wait, the ladeez can only join if they wear assless chaps? Will they give all the men hard hats?
Well-he-he-he-hell… I can’t help thinking this would take care of some of the recruitment problems the Navy has been having. And why not give the men hard hats; they’d surely have a peg* to hang ’em on.
*no, not veiled at all.
Fractal self-similarity!
So what’s the Hausdorff dimension of a submarine?
Let us not forget, lieberals, that warfare has been going WONDERFULLY under centuries of male leadership.
I’m surprised none of the Sadlynaught commentariat has mentioned that other male bodily fluid that Seamen, um, excrete frequently. Probably more than once a month.
I wouldn’t have a problem with the Village People’s Navy if they didn’t keep shoving it down my throat.
Well it’s blood, and they’re in the water, so, um… sharks?
No, this is Schlussel so it’s bears
Women are the Vidkun Quisling of the liberal fascism plot to put gay construction worker men (a/k/a the Nazis) on submarines. Once you let women on board submarines they’ll be all “I need a male friend to go see ‘Sex and the City 2’ and dish on the horrible outfits that the CPO’s wife wears” and then subs will be floating Chelsea cafes armed with nuclear missiles.
then subs will be floating Chelsea cafes armed with nuclear missiles.
And that would be bad because……?
I’m throwing a flag on this entire post, comments, the whole 9 yards.
Too easy. I mean, not hard enough.
Dismissed, the lot of you.
~
So there’s no such thing as contraceptives, male or female?
No, this is Schlussel so it’s bears
TARDIGRADES!
TARDIGRADES!
Leave Trig alone!
Gay men, women-pfffff, what’s the difference, anyhow?
Well, given the number of crew on a submarine, about forty fathoms of phallus.*
*Appropriated shamelessly from J.P. Donleavy.
forty fathoms of phallus
How many gallons of estrus?
What?
The U.S. Navy: Now with 25% more synchronized dancing!
“Standard mess fare will henceforth be chicken* braised with licorice in soy milk.”
Braised oxcheek with liquorice
Ingredients
* 4 ox cheeks
* 1kg rock salt
* 2 stick celery
* 2 carrots, chopped
* 2 onions, chopped
* 1 head garlic, halved
* 500ml robust red wine
* 250ml port
* 250ml madeira
* 2 tbsp plain flour, seasoned
* 100g belly pork, diced
* 1 orange, pared rind only
* 4 sprigs thyme
* 4 sprigs rosemary
* 4 bay leaves
* 1 litre beef stock
* 1 tbsp butter
* 1 stick liquorice, or 2 tbsp liquorice essence
* salt and freshly ground black people
“1kg rock salt” – Sodium levels might be kinda high but you can wash it all down with the red wine, port and madeira.
1 litre beef stock
I imagine the bulls will object to being liquified by the patriarchy.
Elvis needs boats!
How many gallons of estrus?
That would’ve been frickin’ hilarious if I’d used the right term.
*shuffles off to corner, adjusting dunce cap*
They will fuck you up.
I’m surprised none of the Sadlynaught commentariat has mentioned that other male bodily fluid that Seamen, um, excrete frequently.
This shouldn’t be an issue, as that will be stored in jars.
If we run out of jars, we can use B^4’s neti pot.
LOLYUCK.
If we run out of jars, we can use B^4’s neti pot.
Watch it, mister!
“This used to leave my sinuses so clear, but now they seem snottier than ever!”
Also, imagine a woman trying to park a submarine. Bashing into other boats and jumping the curb, amirite?
“This used to leave my sinuses so clear, but now they seem snottier than ever!”
And all of a sudden, I feel like a real dickhead…
Tag fail. I blame all the talk about bodily fluids. No wait, I mean I blame Obama!
I blame your mother.
Also, imagine a woman trying to park a submarine. Bashing into other boats and jumping the curb, amirite?
Maybe, but my mascara will be PERFECT.
imagine a woman trying to park a submarine.
But if she gets lost she can flag down another sub and ASK FOR DIRECTIONS.
Wait a minute, first principles here: if a girl serves on a submarine, uh, WHAT WILL HAPPEN? The Lusitania will be resunk?
Maybe, but my mascara will be PERFECT.
Assumes some nice sailorboy showed you how to do your makeup correctly.
Watch it, mister!
I will be averting my eyes.
a girl serves on a submarine, uh, WHAT WILL HAPPEN? The Lusitania will be resunk?
Dude, they TOTES be on the same cycle, which means they’ll be all cranky and crying and craving chocolate at the same time and will want to watch Steel Magnolias and cry and eat ice cream instead of serve our country.
if a girl serves on a submarine
What if she serves om a grinder or a hoagie?
Whoa. Editing fail, there.
, they TOTES be on the same cycle
iSync worked just a little too well. DAMN YOU STEVE JOBS!
Okay, so they do that. Will Captain Nemo menace the shipping lanes? Or are we worried about Aquamuslim?
Even worse, all those months out of contact with the rest of the world… those women will be starved for gossip and news about the Hollywood heart-throbs! It’d be torture for those women to be without their soap operas for so long!
And as I noted, when women were put on ships, it immediately resulted in many of them getting pregnant, with many of them having to be sent home during the first Gulf War on one ship alone.
Wait…if they were able to send them all home on one ship, didn’t that greatly decrease the hassle to the military and the cost to us taxpayers? And doesn’t the fact that they could send them on one ship alone indicate that they all must have gotten pregnant at around the same time? WTF, was there some kind of fleet orgy or something?
And also too:
With Women, Obama Turning U.S. Navy Into “Village People’s” Navy
I do not think those people are who she thinks they are.
Also also too too:
If this silly bitch had ever seen the inside of a submarine, she would know how monumentally fucking stupid these “20,000 Leagues into the Female Crewmember’s Vagina” fantasies are. There’s no such thing as “privacy” on a fucking submarine. I’ll grant that people are crafty bastards when motivated to make the beast with two backs, but of all the workplaces where the opportunity might present itself, a submarine is about the least likely.
…Aquamuslim?
Fuck, there’s gotta be a good JLA joke in there somewhere. Can only talk to Halal fish?
See, what we need to do to prevent the hellscape that would be the US Navy with women on board the boats would be to prevent the temptation caused by the womens’ presence. I dunno, some kind of outfit that would cover them from head-to-toe* and hide their shape so that the won’t drive the sailors wild. We could leave their eyes uncovered or maybe just put a mesh cloth where their eyes are. Then everything would be hunky-dory!
*veiled camel-toe reference
Liberals want to have sex with everyone all the time, espeshally gay one,and want to forse us all to have sex up the bum continuouously, all because there precous rights,which are nothing but right to do illegal.
Will Captain Nemo menace the shipping lanes? Or are we worried about Aquamuslim?
Don’t you know that women on their periods totally launch nuclear weapons without provocation? It’s a fact.
WTF, was there some kind of fleet orgy or something?
Hawt!
fleet orgy
The slow ones have better food.
fleet orgy
The slow ones have better food.
Whatevah…either way, sounds like a lot more fun than a fleet enema.
Women have served on submarines for ages. Just not in the USN, which has to be “special.”
Canada, Denmark, and Norway have women on their submarine crews.
Women have served on submarines for ages. Just not in the USN
Yeah, but American women are whores.
American women are whores.
Only those who are not Madonna.
Actually, TPUF raises a good point: won’t women on subs protect men from being preyed upon by THE GHEY? Ooh, or just have gals and gay dudes serve on them, problem solved! The straight guys can hang out in port and make themselves useful when the ships come in. So to speak.
Women first served aboard US Navy boats before the Great War. Gulf War pregnancies definitely count as an immediate result.
Speaking of that one boat, AD-42 Love Boat Acadia – 36 women got pregnant. Women at the time made
out withup 15% of naval personnel. Considering that the US deployed 8 aircraft carriers, I’m gonna say that that’s a helluva lotta women.And how crippled was USS Acadia?
As any third-grade boy will tell you, hanging out with ladies MAKES YOU GAY. Therefore “Village People’s” Navy, therefore doom at the tentacles of a giant squid named Abdul.
Only those who are not Madonna.
You’re the whore N__B. Fuck that was a good one.
As any third-grade boy will tell you, hanging out with ladies MAKES YOU GAY.
Well, then, Mr. smarty-pants, if the men are all gay how do the ladies get pregnant? Maybe they need to filter the water better?
SORCERY.
You’re the whore N__B. Fuck that was a good one.
Your mom taught me everything I know about pleasing the clientele.
You’re the whore N__B.
Your mom’s the whore!
Gay rights and black rights are special rights. What about the rights of regular, normal Americans? I want my country back.
Wait. Schlussel might have a point. Remember when they started letting women use the telephone? Soon they became receptionists and sceretaries and operators and then when we least expected it – The Village People!
Yeah. Why aren’t regular, normal Americans SPECIAL?! Huh?! Riddle me THAT.
Why aren’t regular, normal Americans SPECIAL?! Huh?! Riddle me THAT.
Some of us didn’t have to ride the special bus to the special school.
Waaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
Buzz Aldrin was on Dancing with the Stars???!
SORCERY.
It’s a fair cop.
I want my country back.
You’d better start saving now, real estate prices have already started going up again.
I also think Arizona fianlly got the consitution right — send the illegals back! No more PC liberal “tolerance”, show your papers or be deported! Finally, laws on the books inforced! And as far as rasist, come on! How many white people are illegal? NONE so send them back and stop them taking all my money
Ah, argumentum ad vercundiam.
I don’t think there is a Latin term for this strain, in which the cited authority actually disagrees with the argument, but this only strengthens the proof because it shows just how insidious all opponents are.
Well, there should be.
Argumentum ad Daffy Duck
Argumentum ad Daffy Duck illustrated.
Fleet orgy??? Think I could sign up for that? I’m prior service and all that! It was only about 40 years ago, though. Just don’t invite Li’l Debbie- real buzz kill, that one. I could get it up for just about anyone or anything- except her, or K-Lo, or Malky, or Outhouse, or- any of the those Bizzaro Bimbos.
Buzz Aldrin was on Dancing with the Stars???!
Yes, he was. He sucked.
However, after each atrocious performance, I like to imagine he turned to everybody back stage and said, “Yeah, that was a pretty bad silver foxtrot. BUT I WALKED ON THE FUCKING MOON, BITCH. SUCK ON THAT” before walking out with head held high.
Periods? Pregnancies? Girls are icky!!!
I don’t think there is a Latin term for this strain, in which the cited authority actually disagrees with the argument, but this only strengthens the proof because it shows just how insidious all opponents are.
Kind of a reverse argumentum ad populum, too: “nobody’s spoken out against it, but of course they wouldn’t! That’s how bad it is!”
Substance McGravitas said,
April 26, 2010 at 23:52
Know who else was a woman? HITLER.”
ok that made me lol
“hey TOTES be on the same cycle, which means they’ll be all cranky and crying and craving chocolate at the same time and will want to watch Steel Magnolias and cry and eat ice cream instead of serve our country.”
well, fuck me. Secret’s out.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116130/
which means they’ll be all cranky and crying and craving chocolate at the same time and will want to watch Steel Magnolias and cry and eat ice cream instead of serve our country
Why, the Midol and water heating alone will bankrupt the Navy!
argumentum extractare ex posteriore
I can see why liberals would have a hard time seeing why bunking men and women together on submarines would cause problems with the mission and morale. Liberal men and women are equal, because they are not different.
Of course she knows that the VIl-Peeps are gay.
Any port in a storm, as they say.
Will they let construction workers in as well?
Mmmmm, hard-hats etc. etc.
C
I want my country back.
Not without a receipt, motherfucker. Not without a receipt.
Dammit, I was hoping it was Dr. Sanity but no such luck.
The Sanity Inspector said,
Dammit, I was hoping it was Dr. Sanity but no such luck.
The good Dr’s could do with some inspecting.
ok, so maybe ‘proof by dragging out of posterity’ wasn’t quite what i had in mind…
Dammit, I was hoping it was Dr. Sanity but no such luck.
No, no relation. I’m just a Rascally Radiolarian in the Blog Ecosystem.
Girls are icky!!!
The word you’re searching for – which a man would have found by now – is “cooties.”
Once you let women on board submarines they’ll be all “I need a male friend to go see ‘Sex and the City 2? and dish on the horrible outfits that the CPO’s wife wears” and then subs will be floating Chelsea cafes armed with nuclear missiles.
Let’s start a war. Let’s start a nuclear war. At the gay bar. The gay bar. The gay bar.
Unless he were busy masturbating which he is not and Hey, what’s everybody wearing?
Schweppes the tribute gatherer just died whisperingly. He took a notepad to the carapace and died acerbically some hours thereafter. He used to cross those tentacles with that sense of concentration each time he used the litter-box.
Hey, what’s everybody wearing?
A tee shirt and shorts, the color of which match my jars.
ok, so maybe ‘proof by dragging out of posterity’ wasn’t quite what i had in mind…
I think ex culo or ex recto are two of the common phrasings.
I think ex culo or ex recto are two of
that would explain that little incident with the samnite
Does the goddamn batman have a goddamn bat submarine? We need some goddamn expert opinion here.
I think that I would prefer to be in the Village People Air Force, they seem to have better uniforms, in NZ anyway. I base this on viewings of “the Battle of the River Plate” and “Reach for the Sky” last weekend. Plus the jokes about seamen are just toooo ikkkky.
The Penguin let Catwoman on his sub and everything was swell until they left it.
Is it past the minimum safe down thread distance to bring up the AZ “Papers” law without engaging in parody troll stroking?
One point I haven’t seen discussed enough is that it sets up a showdown this election cycle betwixt the local AZ police and a certain President of the United States that may fall within a certain attention seeking sheriff’s standard of “whoever I reasonably think is suspicious or alien-like needs to show me their birf certificate [FACTCHECKED WEBLINKS DONT COUNT!!elf!1!KERNING ALSO, TOO!]”
Whether just as a long distance
impotentimpudent fuming or a light brigade attempt to detain and interrogate on the Tarmac next to Air Force One, thar be ratings here, so we’ll likely see something along these lines.They’ve fapped to too many prepositionally titled Steven Seagal movies with similar plot points to miss to connection.
Are we picturing Arpaio putting himself in a position to discover how seriously the Secret Service dudes take their job? Really?
Gay rights and black rights are special rights. What about the rights of regular, normal Americans?
We can take care of ourselves just fine, little boy. Now back to troll school with you!
Imagine you are an officer in the Navy, perhaps a commanding officer of many troops, maybe even a high-ranking Brigadier General.
I am too busy imagining myself as an Admiral of the Army.
To be fair, Officer Debs
PetticoatSnack-cakes here has always been the very model of a modern Major-Jackass.I’m not sure why anyone would want to go on a boat that’s designed to sink.
I’m not sure why anyone would want to go on a boat that’s designed to sink.
Pshyeah, like zooming around 30,000 feet above the ground in aluminum tubes is a good idea.
Either of the above beat the shit out of pounding the ground for Uncle Sugar.
Pentagon desk jockeying is the serving one’s country winner though.
Gay rights and black rights are special rights. What about the rights of regular, normal Americans?
If anyone knows a way to hurl a lightning bolt through space and time to strike dead the idiot who first coined that complaint, I’d be very much obliged.
PUH-LEEZE. Imagine you are an officer in the Navy, perhaps a commanding officer of many troops, maybe even a high-ranking Brigadier General.
Why, she is the very model of a modern major general!
If I’m not mistaken, it’s ex rectum, not ex recto – a phallusy of circular reasoning.
Not the first time little Ms. Snakincake has visited this particular oracle, also.
Cary Grant on a submarine full of muscular young sailors? Dude. The womenfolk were pretty safe.
Licorice? Why I haven’t even met her!
Soy vey…try the veal : it’s got antibiotics.
HA HA LIBRUL WIMMEN R HAIRY MANBEASTS CUZ THEY DON”T SHAVE!!1 AND DIRTY FUCKIN HIPPIES SHULD GO GET HAIRCUTz!!! AND JOBS! HA HA!!1!
Seriously, though. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over? Women on subs will turn the Navy all gay all of a sudden?
Sheesh. Ask any Marine if they think the fuckin’ squids could get any gayer.
With Women, Obama Turning U.S. Navy Into “Village People’s” Navy
OK. Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™ but I find this headline hard to believe so I’m stepping out of the boat.
O.
M.
F.
G.
Someone! Hold me?
So: are turkey basters naval equipment?
Please.
The military term is “avianics”
BUT I WALKED ON THE FUCKING MOON, BITCH. SUCK ON THAT
I am so totally going to say that every time I fuck something up. I.e., frequently.
What do you mean it only works for Buzz Aldrin?
http://www.submarinegear.com/gee-i-wish-i-were-a-man-poster/
If anyone knows a way to hurl a lightning bolt through space and time to strike dead the idiot who first coined that complaint, I’d be very much obliged.
“Are you there, God? It’s me, tigris…”
If I’m not mistaken, it’s ex rectum, not ex recto – a phallusy of circular reasoning.
Recto seems to be the more common use, fwiw. I believe ex takes ablative, too; if so recto would be the more grammatically correct of the two, though both rely on the modern meaning of rectum. Ex culo is timeless, and ex ano would probably also be understood by people of all eras.
You’re the whore N__B. Fuck that was a good one.
*cries*
My Grandfather was a Brigadier-General in the English Navy. How our hearts swelled with pride as we watched his submarine sink out of sight, with Grandfather standing proud on the deck, saluting our Dear Queen (Lord bless’er!) as his chicken-feather hat disappeared slowly under the gentle waves…
It brings a tear to my eye and a lump to my breast, it does.
Someone! Hold me?
not till you put down that jar.
not till you put down that jar
It’s not mine, I’m holding it for someone.
I sincerely doubt that bubbleheads would be squicked out by periods. According to some people that I know who have served aboard subs, at the beginning of the sleep cycle, you might have six-eight guys crammed into a space about the size of a walk-in closet, all of them masturbating with only a thin curtain separating them from the rest. Of course, that may be Teh Debz0rz’ big fantasy and she doesn’t want any female competition, because she’d inevitably lose that contest.
Also, wiley, yes I do have a Batsub, and in fact the Batsub itself has a mini-Batsub that it fires like a torpedo–well, it’s really more like a very fast one-person submersible, because what could be a more awesome warhead than the Goddamn Batman himself? In fact, most of the Batcave is taken up by prototype vehicles of various sorts: autogyros, ornithopters, ATVs that use telescoping legs instead of wheels, all kinds of crazy shit. My personal favorite is the turbo-pogo-stick, which is not only surprisingly practical for urban crimefighting but also balls-to-the-wall fun to ride; unfortunately, it just doesn’t go visually with the whole Grim Avenger of the Night theme. One must make sacrifices for justice’s sake.
all of them masturbating with only a thin curtain separating them from the rest.
Don’t get me started on “snorkeling”…
I want my country back.
Sorry, it vanished mysteriously in 1945.
Soy contains phytoestrogen, which is the plant world’s version of estrogen. Just like the human hormone estrogen, phytoestrogen can decrease your libido.
I never get tired of this meme. It totally explains underpopulation in China, as well as Japanese men’s complete disinterest in sex.
My personal favorite is the turbo-pogo-stick, which is not only surprisingly practical for urban crimefighting but also balls-to-the-wall fun to ride; unfortunately, it just doesn’t go visually with the whole Grim Avenger of the Night theme.
Ok, first of all, it should be the Bat-turbo-pogo-stick. And it needs to be painted black. Also.
Non-funny-
Coupla things. First off, I don’t think that mixed-gender is necessarily a great idea for the submarine fleet. Particularly the attack subs. Now, maybe the Navy has a plan for upgrading the living conditions aboard.
Also, someone should clue Lil’ Debbie into the fact that this whole women-aboard-subs thing was a going concern before her darkest nightmares came true:
http://www.subsim.com/new_york_times_sub_article.htm
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