Scott Brown’s Body
It’s been a while since we checked in with Bob Owens, aka the Confederate Yankee, or as I’ve decided to start calling him, the Dixie Doodle Dumbfuck (DDD):
Slowing Brown Down (If He Wins)
… while many have come to view a Brown victory as their last, best hope to derail socialized medicine, there is a sincere danger that Massachusetts Democrats, working in conjunction with a Pelosi House and Reid Senate, may attempt procedural tricks to thwart the will of voters and push through ObamaCare before Brown can be seated as a senator.
Couple things here. First, you’ll notice how DDD is about four-fifths of the way towards convincing himself that Scott Brown’s win somehow gives the GOP the majority of seats in the 100-member Senate despite the Dems and their Caucus partners* still holding 59 of them.
Second, a special election in one state out of 50 now represents the ‘will of the voters’ such that what are still Democratic majorities in both houses of Congress would be guilty of ‘thwarting’ said will should they dare to ‘push through’ health care reform that each house already passed before Scott Brown and his truck were known to anybody but a handful of politically minded Massholes.
As for seating Brown — well, it looks like Massachusetts Dems may well use the letter of the law to hold that up until he’s received a formal certificate of election. Tactically, I’d call that pretty stupid on the Dems’ part, and I’m pessimistic about what it would do strategically either, e.g. allow breathing room for a better HCR bill, when it seems fairly obvious at this point that the House is going to have to pass the Senate bill verbatim or we’re not getting health care reform.**
For the Dixie Doodle Dumbfuck, however, such small-potatoes procedural dicking about — the sort both parties do when they can get away with it — is borderline treason. So much so that should such chicanery come to pass, he seconds a call by some Puma dead-enders for ‘storming the Capitol’ to ‘rattle those Democratic senators and representatives who stand to risk losing their seats in 2010 if they so brazenly oppose the will of their constituents.’
Perhaps somewhere in America there are citizens who, come the mid-terms, will base their vote on all of this … alas, we shall have to wait for the exit polls.
Which isn’t to say that Owens is totally irredeemable or that his sense of irony has completely atrophied. Call it dumb instinct, but he did wait until the day after Martin Luther King Day to approve of ‘the most massive march on Washington ever seen’ to protest the possible seating of a US Senator a couple of weeks later than his supporters would like.
On the one hand, Jim Crow, on the other, Scott Brown … it really is a toss-up, don’t you think?
*Such as they are, I know, I know.
**Incidentally, that most likely of outcomes is neatly brushed over by Owens, and hidden away on pg. 2 of his PJM column — almost certainly because it completely upends his ragegasm over Democratic perfidy vis-a-vis seating Brown late to ‘ram through health care reform’.
“Second, a special election in one state out of 50 now represents the ‘will of the voters’ such that what are still Democratic majorities in both houses of Congress would be guilty of ‘thwarting’ said will should they dare to ‘push through’ health care reform that each house already passed before Scott Brown and his truck were known to anybody but a handful of politically minded Massholes.”
Indeed. Memo to Johnny Reb;
http://www.gallup.com/poll/125030/Healthcare-Bill-Support-Ticks-Up-Public-Divided.aspx
The voters have no decisive break in either direction, but the plurality is still in our favor, with three percentage points more supporting the current bill than opposing it. So, Confederate Johnny Reb, you have my leave to shut your trap and go fuck a partridge.
…
And…
Al Franken’s delay of nearly half a year before being allowed to serve in the Senate he was elected and the continued delay to this day of over half of Obama’s cabinet members being seated for no other reason than a repuke has a “hold” for admittedly political reasons of dicking with the first black in chief are what exactly?
I would be willing to detransition and live the rest of my life as a lie to get a media that would consistently and widely stand up for the historical record instead of letting the right wing get away with every tantrum like it was family board game night and no one will be able to get any sleep if we don’t let Timmy win.
For fuck’s sake.
Owens is the one who performed un-natural acts with his barbecue grill and was trying to sell DVDs of it?
Or was that Erickson?
Well doesn’t this just take the cake. Fuck you, Martha Coakley, you fucking cunt. I hope you ship back to elitist whoristan and lick your wounds for years, like a neurotic dog. Mike Capuano, what the HELL happened? That was your seat, bro. I can’t believe you fumbled this one. FUCK.
Scott Brown–birfer, Cosmo model, conservative Republican?!? The fuck?! The last conservative Republican that Massachusetts voted for was Calvin Coolidge, and we all know how that one ended.
And I understand he’s a Creationist, too? Awesome, Mass. Consider yourselves royally FUCKED. Even if Republicans get a majority, good luck getting this waste of oxygen to bring home high speed rail money or superfund dollars or biotechnology/NIH grants or anything useful. FUCK.
Wherza likker? I wanna get drunk.
I wanna get drunk.
C’mon in, the eau de vie’s fine. Snoozin’ time for me now, though.
I love the puma link, those limp fuckers have absolutely no sense of irony (or intelligence or common sense). They are going to get a random bunch of tea-partiers and puma to march on congress and harass dem senators, blah, blah, blah…….
Aside from their hypocrisy (where were they in 2006 when W ignored the will of the people and voted for teh surge), how many casualties would we see following their ‘invasion’?
He was either going to lose or be the “the forty-first senator”. I guess he had to be wrong either way.
On the other hand, this will teach us a lesson, won’t it.
Owens, like so many would be media mavens, is just fine with his overlords continued looting of the US through health insurance. Paying as much as 4 times (Japan: $2300/person vs.$7200/person in the US per OECD 2007 data) as another country for health care that doesn’t cover everyone is just (Georgia)peachy with the DDD.
Lucky for Brown, the rich folks who bring the news have the same health care coverage as the Congress. Which is why the voters in Mass. and the rest of the country never hear such statistics.
Or read about them, for that matter.
As if they could.
Or want to.
Meine geheerte Herrn und Damen.
On the other hand, this will teach us a lesson, won’t it.
probably not.
We’re all going whywhywhy this morning. Here’s my opinion. It’s because William Lloyd Garrison and Lt. Matthew Broderick (or whatever his name was, the Glory guy) Shaw are dead, bro, and no one–but no one–hates a black man like a Masshole.
Ale time.
RvB, you hit it right on the head.
This is an important question. What are the relations between Massachusetts state electoral laws and the gates which confine Lucifer to Hell?
What happens if only some Hell breaks loose, say, in response to a 1-day delay? Will there just be a short run of an escalator of goblins?
If all of Hell breaks loose, does this imply a great demonic dance competition?
And do people literally understand what “literally” means?
‘ram through health care reform’
I tried ramming through health care reform, but the condom didn’t break.
What?
Will the New Orleans Saints beat the Vikings or will they Coakley the game?
Tiger Woods was riding high until he Coakley’d his marriage.
My car was fine until I hit a pothole and Coakley’d the suspension.
Usually the lunch is pretty good there, but yesterday it was Coakley.
Coakley: 1) Something that should go well, but instead becomes messed up. 2) Becoming fubar.
does this imply a great demonic dance competition?
I thought we already had that when Tom Delay was on Dancing With The Stars.
It all makes sense when you realize that, for them, the 2008 election did not happen.
What’s the pisser is that the DNC will blame us progressives for badmouthing their shitty candidate. They still think they can put a D in front of any asshole’s name and automatically get our money and love.
Sorry, but post-Lieberman-party-leaving that dog won’t hunt.
Next time run a Democrat. And I hope the pressure forces the Senate Dems to give up on their pussyfoot reliance on 60-majorities so’s to not offend their dear GOP colleagues.
Fuckstains. The only Dems with balls are Franken and that guy from Florida.
may attempt procedural tricks to thwart the will of voters
What, is he talking about filibustering and minority party senators placing holds on cabinet nominees?
I should revise my earlier comment.
What the Dixie Doodle Dumbfuck was trying to say is “Don’t you Senate Democrats use any procedural tricks to prevent Scott Brown from being seated so he can support Republican procedural tricks.”
I think Al Franken should initiate the roadblocks to seating Brown. And say that when the time elapsed is as long as he was forced to sit out, they can talk.
overlords continued looting of the US through health insurance. Paying as much as 4 times (Japan: $2300/person vs.$7200/person in the US per OECD 2007 data) as another country for health care
\
Here’s the thing that makes me lurch about that; just the other day I happened to catch some clip of Krauthammer talking about how we can’t hand control over “1/6 of the US economy” over to the Obama and the government.
WTF? Isn’t the fact that 18% of our economy is a profit center for the healt insurance industry something to be EMBARRASSED BY? Maybe that money could be used in something productive…
I know, I know, stupid idealistic hippie ideas. Might as well suggest we spend money on something besides bombs. Just a zombie here.
The only Dems with balls are Franken and that guy from Florida.
AHEM. Russ Feingold.
I must admit my error. Russ Feingold indeed has balls. Huge brass liberal progrssive balls. I apologize.
Huge brass liberal progrssive balls
and he’s kind of a short guy. Makes him walk funny.
Al Franken’s delay of nearly half a year before being allowed to serve in the Senate he was elected and the continued delay to this day of over half of Obama’s cabinet members being seated for no other reason than a repuke has a “hold” for admittedly political reasons of dicking with the first black in chief are what exactly?
THANK YOU. Every day these people wake up to a brand new world, one with no past whatsoever.
Mike Capuano, what the HELL happened? That was your seat, bro. I can’t believe you fumbled this one.
Not his fault, he ran well in the primary but lost. She had state-wide name recognition, he didn’t. He’s got over 2 years to the next election to remedy that… e-mail, call, or go to his website and encourage him to run, I did!
Oh sparkly one,
“The Dems” didn’t “run” Coakley, per se. There was an open primary, and she won. Probably because the progressive vote was split. Coakley pulled one-issue voters who only care about reproductive freedom and don’t care that she supports the PATRIOT act. They had the “idealistic” (Kahzei? Kharzei? what the hell was his name) candidate as well as the “realistic” candidate (Capuano) and Coakley pulled the plurality.
Makes me sick.
Tigrismus–
That’s a damn good point. I’d forgotten in some sense he’s still that local pol from Somerville.
Apparently far west mass has heard of Coakley but not enough to know all about her black black heart because it went quite blue. Or maybe they did but held their noses because: birfer. I mean, really.
Only two years? Phew. Go Mike! (I know he ain’t perfect, but who is? He’s not a being of pure evil peeking out from a festering human skin and he’s not a right wing loony by any means. Aaaaaand he did pull any dick moves like Sen. Lynch who got all his student loans forgiven by a judge. Hey, Lynch, why don’t you call your Southie mob connections and get MY student loans forgiven? Oh, that’s right, I actually PAID MINE BACK like some sort of law-abiding sucker. Eastern Mass is rife with corruption due to one-party rule, but Mike has always struck me as fairly decent. No, he’s not The Last Honest Man (Harshbarger), but we all know what happened to him.)
Hm, just realized that my comments were not particularly parodic or funny.
Well, what Finley (sp?) did to Harshbarger would make for a pretty wicked political satire. Hm, I see a one-act musical coming on. And it’s all true!