God, everyone’s right:

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.

A fucking tiger, man!

Hey! Gimme my rose colored glases back! I really need them.

…can you imagine a more accurate summation of modern mainstream media propaganda disguised as “news?”

Three letters; F, O and X baby.

And maybe I’m not alone in detesting these oft beribboned symbols of latent hippydom which hurt my brain as well as my eyes; think of the nausea induced by a viewing of 1968’s Yellow Submarine, for instance, and you get the idea.

Chief Meanie: It’s no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?
Max: Argentina?

Can any of our transgendered friends help Mr. Fabrizio pass?

Her brane is broken. The words kind of dribble out and puddle just a bit and then dry up in weak sunlight. Is there some tragic brane injury in her past? Or should we applaud this Special Olympian’s fine efforts in the composition category?

Lisa: In order to demonstrate that our irrational hatred of Obama is not racist, let me show you my irrational hatred of anybody I can label as “them.”

Do I have that right?

Is there anything worse than not only having to witness attempts at the perverse gay and lesbian assembly to subvert our culture to theirs, but then to have these forays labeled as examples of ‘gay pride’?

No. There’s simply NOTHING worse in the whole fucking world. Not a goddam thing. This is absolutely the worst.

If only there were an expert on colour vision in the house…

If only…

Thank you zrm for concisely saying what I was struggling with.

Stay on the S,N!, man. We’ll go wherever you want, but on the S,N!

Because of an irrational fear of cone-shaped things, I refuse to see in color.

That is one disturbing picture.

And also the photo is scary.

She just knows being gay is a lifestyle choice, given the number of past boyfriends that decided to become gay after being with her.

Max: Argentina?

Ehh, further south mebbe? Antarctica, perhaps? Lots of white. Except…the PENGUINS!

Yellow, as in journalism. Probably nothing has more hastened the advent of our present mess as the corruption of the great majority of our media into shills for the socialist agenda.

Especially that goddam commie William Randolph Hearst.

Now, putting aside the fact that he, a very white man, was on the receiving end of much intensely demonstrated animosity during his days in office, since when, you ask, is Jimmy Carter an expert on U.S. racial relations?

This sentence made my eyes bleed.

I will always trust the shorter from here on out.

Especially when they overlap, as demonstrated by a recent CNN broadcast which suggested that the best way to save the planet is “putting on a condom.”

In Fabrizio’s case, unfortunately, this suggestion was several decades too late.

Except…the PENGUINS!

And they’re in on the gay agenda!

Ironically, she looks like one of those “art” students from Dickinson college in “Animal House”. One of the ugly ones.

[T]hink of the nausea induced by a viewing of 1968’s “Yellow Submarine,” for instance, and you get the idea.

You were TOLD not to take the brown acid. Oh wait that’s right, you’re color-blind!! Haw haw

She just knows being gay is a lifestyle choice, given the number of past boyfriends that decided to become gay after being with her rather than get naked with her.

Fixed for accuracy.

was on the receiving end of much intensely demonstrated animosity during his days in office

Umm….really? Carter had big disapproval numbers, but I don’t recall “intensely demonstrated animosity.” Am I wrong about this? He was kind of a joke by the end, but I don’t think many people expressed personal animosity towards him, let alone intense. IIRC, the right were kind of pleased they had someone feckless to run Ronnie against.

Seems like more of the intense animosity came after he was out of office, from right wingers, because Carter had the temerity to do good for people.

My full-spectrum hate, let me show you it.

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™

*biting nails*

Must. Not. Give. In…..

In Fabrizio’s case, unfortunately, this suggestion was several decades too late.

As a friend of mine used to say: “She’s a waste of space.”

I have no room in my world for racists. I once had this insight while I was sitting in traffic looking at a bumper sticker in front of me that said “Aids cures Fags.” I tried comparing the contribution this individual was making to the human race to the contributions of other individuals. My thesis evolved like this: Some people are larger than life. They dream big, accomplish great things, give hugely to the lives of those around them, are celebrated for their deeds, and remembered long and lovingly after they have passed on. Others are just the right size. They live in the circle of their existence, they dream smaller, they achieve what an ordinary person can achieve, and they leave a loving family in their wake if they’re lucky. And then some people are smaller than life. They spread distrust and disgust wherever they go, they contribute nothing and often as not should be considered thieves because they waste everyone else’s time and resources. They are nasty, brutish, and quickly forgotten after they die if the rest of us are lucky; sometimes we are not and they leave huge painful scars in their wake of destroyed lives and ruined dreams. Lisa Fabrizio is one of those. I’d add her to a list that includes people like Limbaugh, Beck, Ted Bundy, Charles Manson. People who spread fear, hate, mistrust, and violence. I lump them all together. The world doesn’t need them and wouldn’t miss them if they suddenly were Ruptured back to Gawd.

This sentence made my eyes bleed.

Ya’ll need a pair of “BleedNaut” goggles.

Okay, just one more souvenir from this visit to CrazyLand. Among other words interspersed here and there, this individual uses

“of his ilk”
“noxious”
“detesting”
“hurt my brain”
“nausea induced”
“particularly rankle”
“Is there anything worse”
“hastened the advent of our present mess”
“offensive color schemers” (??)
“last refuge of scoundrels”
“insidious”
“propping up”
“prey on the fears”
“the defeat of western civilization”
“the most bile to rise in conservative craws”
“murderous regimes and/or outright failures”

That’s a real power-load of hate and rage to pack into one regurgitation. I hope she internally combusts soon.

Must. Not. Give. In…..

Oh, just go. But call in ten minutes, OK?

Can any of our transgendered friends help Mr. Fabrizio pass?

At Kos, I got in bigtime trouble for saying that all conservative women look like post-op transsexuals. (For good reason, I reckon. Pretty insensitive comment.) Got my pee-pee whacked good. Well, I don’t have a pee-pee, but…maybe it was like I got my vagina slapped. Which is much less erotic than it sounds.

Everyone, believe Brother Wyatt Watts III! ATTS! I barely survived with my scrotum intact.

Must. Not. Give. In…..

I hardly ever trust the shorter, but in this case–seriously–trust the shorter.

OHGOD, NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

MY EYES!!!!

After all, he did unite the country in a way not seen in decades; after only four years, almost all of America joined together in sending him on his failed quest to become our greatest ex-president.

Errrr, Reagan *barely* got 50% of the vote. Is this the soft bigotry of low expectations that “almost all” = barely half????

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™

I got my vagina slapped

Website? Subscription? Newsletter?

I’m color blind (or colour blind if you’re a furriner). So far I’ve been unable to get a handicapped parking permit but I keep trying.

Website? Subscription? Newsletter?

Alas, no. It was just a figurative vaginal humiliation.

At Kos, I got in bigtime trouble for saying that all conservative women look like post-op transsexuals. (For good reason, I reckon. Pretty insensitive comment.)

FWIW, I tried to be more gender-positive about it. I’ll do penance at Shakesville tomorrow.

Stupid tag error.

FY Lisa Fabrizio and your stupid color-coded hate.

At Kos, I got in bigtime trouble for saying that all conservative women look like post-op transsexuals.

Yeah, I’m not fond of the tranny comments, myself, considering the fact that there are tons of wonderful transpeople out there who would be pretty insulted at being associated with conservative assholes.

Now, putting aside the fact that he, a very white man, was on the receiving end of much intensely demonstrated animosity during his days in office, since when, you ask, is Jimmy Carter an expert on U.S. racial relations?

I guess being governor of Georgia doesn’t count as experience in race relations unless you’re personally siccing the police dogs on the civil rights marchers.

Although having Lester Freakin’ Maddox as your lieutenant governor would cause a spit-take or two from some people.

i has an irrational fear of pi. Not to worry, it’s imaginary.

i has an irrational fear of pi. Not to worry, it’s imaginary.

Stop being so negative.

yeah, but there are tons of wonderful people of all stripes who are insulted by conservative assholes that share their granfalloon.

For instance, Rush Limbaugh is a Mac user. And John McCain is a zombie.

I should have said Reagan is a zombie. Damn that taunting Submit button!

I don’t have my gumboots, so I’m not going over there, but does anyone happen to know how old Fabrizio is?

No need for correction, ZRM. I’m pretty sure McCain is a zombie too

“offensive color schemers”

I’ll admit it, I’m pretty offended by this recent aqua/brown combination fad in interior decorating Whatever color schemers dreamed that one up really roused my ire, darn it!

There is something insectile about that woman’s mouth. One could almost picture those teeth parting and some long probing stinging thing telescoping out to plunge into your jugular and suck all the blood from your dessicated corpse in about five seconds flat. Or you could also easily picture her menacing Sigourney Weaver aboard a space vessel. Scary woman.

If there is anything worse than batshit crazy conservative assholes, it’s batshit crazy conservative assholes who cannot write a simple declarative sentence.

Or, put into Fabrizo-speak: “Is there anything worse than conservative assholes who are not only conservative assholes, but who also seem to be intent on putting their asshole-tinged mental incontinence in forms of nonstandard prose which happen to be immune to a simple declarative sentence.”

That’s a real power-load of hate and rage to pack into one regurgitation. I hope she internally combusts soon.

Not that I disagree with the sentiment, but she struck me as just being angry and scared of everything. I envision her walking down the street and pointing at inanimate objects and screaming at them.

“Lampost, evil! Sign of the apocalypse!”

“Aaiieee! Sidewalk, agent of the monolithic jackboots of Socialism!”

“Mailbox. Blue! BLUUUUEE! MAILBOOXXXX!!!!

I just imagine her as an old woman, off (or, alas, unable to afford) her bi-polar meds. So I wonder, how old is that photo?

Rush Limbaugh is a Mac user

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

*curling up in fetal position*

So I wonder, how old is that photo?

I dunno, but I hope she can afford better lip bleach now.

I’ll admit it, I’m pretty offended by this recent aqua/brown combination fad in interior decorating

Me too. That color scheme was outdated even before it got popular.

I dunno, but I hope she can afford better lip bleach now.

watch out actor, I got woodshedded for that.

Rush Limbaugh is a Mac user.

You take that back! Unholy! Unclean!

Rush Limbaugh is a Mac user

*curling up in fetal position*

Don’t be sad. I’m sure he types with a poking stick designed for people with fingers too fat for keyboards.

Me too. That color scheme was outdated even before it got popular.

I think it’s out along with decorating stuff with twee birds and shit. At least, I hope.

watch out actor, I got woodshedded for that.

What? She has a hairy lip! We make fun of men with face mullets and shit, deal with it, I says.

I figure Fabrizio’s head pretty much exploded last year when Obama gave his race relations speech in Philadelphia.

All those well elucidated thoughts and anecdotes. This hateful bovine must have been ready to play soccer with her TV set.

I’ll admit it, I’m pretty offended by this recent aqua/brown combination fad in interior decorating Whatever color schemers dreamed that one up really roused my ire, darn it!

Ah, I adore that color combination. What offends me design-wise these days that everything in Architectural Digest is now beige. Rooms filled with beige furniture that are all roughly the same height, which is design rule-breaking 101. I swear every room in AD these days looks like a hotel lobby.

Don’t be sad. I’m sure he types with a poking stick designed for people with fingers too fat for keyboards.

I do not want to hear ANYTHING about Limbaugh’s “poking stick.”

*shudder*

No need for correction, ZRM. I’m pretty sure McCain is a zombie too

Nah. He is a Mummy.

I swear every room in AD these days looks like a hotel lobby.

Listen, people got back mortage payments to make, you know?

Oh, and I forgot to say I’m happy we seem to be emerging from the “every bed must be covered in a simple white coverlet/comforter” phase. *shudders*

Don’t be sad. I’m sure he types with a poking stick designed for people with fingers too fat for keyboards.

*shudder*

Aw, c’mon. Foam rubber at one end to discourage him from biting it, worn down at the other from hitting the keys. (Of course, he can only play in C major because he refuses to hit the black keys.)

What offends me design-wise these days that everything in Architectural Digest is now beige. Rooms filled with beige furniture that are all roughly the same height, which is design rule-breaking 101. I swear every room in AD these days looks like a hotel lobby.

DO NOT READ ARCHITECTURAL DIGEST. It is intended for people with no taste and WAYYYYYY too much money, but not enough sense to hire competent design professionals.

DWELL.

Shabing, Shabang
Shalalalalalala
Shabing, Shabong
Life, ya know, Marie?
Yah, well you’re doing it wrong.

Listen, people got back mortage payments to make, you know?

Don’t I know it? Hey, I just love looking at a beautiful room; can’t afford to actually live in any of ’em!

Rooms filled with beige furniture that are all roughly the same height,

AND THAT HEIGHT IS PERFECT FOR DWARFS!

Speaking as a full-sized person, I am so fucking sick of chairs that I can’t sit in comfortably.

What? She has a hairy lip! We make fun of men with face mullets and shit, deal with it, I says.

Hey, some women can pull off a hairy lip! Though really, she’s not one of them.

I’m more offended by the hair and the weird red turtleneck with a blazer.

I swear every room in AD these days looks like a hotel lobby.

I quit AD when they started with all the star-fucking. And I’ve been mourning the loss of “Domino” all year.

Speaking as a full-sized person, I am so fucking sick of chairs that I can’t sit in comfortably.

You obviously don’t live in the Midwest.

It is intended for people with no taste and WAYYYYYY too much money, but not enough sense to hire competent design professionals.

Well, I have no money and fantastic taste, but AD is like an old friend to me… I’ve gotten it for so long… And actually all of the AD interiors look over-designed to me, lacking warmth and humanity.

I haven’t looked at Dwell yet, but I’m pretty fond of Elle Decor and Veranda.

Don’t I know it? Hey, I just love looking at a beautiful room; can’t afford to actually live in any of ‘em!

Yeah, me too. Only I can’t even afford the freaking magazines! AD costs more than I spent on lunch over the entire last four days. And I’m talkin’ one magazine, not the subscription! I used to buy them used at the Planned Parenthood book sale, but they haven’t had any the last couple of times around.

I quit AD when they started with all the star-fucking. And I’ve been mourning the loss of “Domino” all year.

Arg. I just got a subscription to that mag when it folded. You know what they sent instead? Fucking “Lucky.”

Now, I like to read “Lucky” every once in a while, but I would have rather gotten my money back.

You obviously don’t live in the Midwest.

No.

I need height, not width. Or at least not excessive width.

And actually all of the AD interiors look over-designed to me, lacking warmth and humanity.

Among other things.

Admittedly, I have not picked up an AD in quite some time. I subscribed for one year a while back, that was enough. Actually, I think it was a free subby….

I need height, not width. Or at least not excessive width.

I haven’t noticed that, but again, I live in the Midwest, so we’re not as hip to the new stylish furniture fads the kids are into these days. I would wager a guess that it’s partly because of the resurgence in mid-century/Danish modern stuff that’s low to the ground?

Admittedly, I have not picked up an AD in quite some time. I subscribed for one year a while back, that was enough. Actually, I think it was a free subby….

I get my sub for 10 bucks a year–a pittance. I think that’s why I keep re-upping.

I’m happy we seem to be emerging from the “every bed must be covered in a simple white coverlet/comforter” phase.

And white slipcovers! Enough with the fucking white slipcovers already! What, the people who come up with this stuff don’t have dogs, cats, drink/spill Cosmos, eat/spill pizza, put their filthy feet on the sofa, spill the ashtray when they’re passing the joint?

I need height, not width. Or at least not excessive width.

or to be lopped off at the knees.

, the people who come up with this stuff don’t have dogs, cats, drink/spill Cosmos, eat/spill pizza, put their filthy feet on the sofa, spill the ashtray when they’re passing the joint?

That’s enough, I’m going home to see how many I can manage yet tonight.

I haven’t noticed that, but again, I live in the Midwest, so we’re not as hip to the new stylish furniture fads the kids are into these days. I would wager a guess that it’s partly because of the resurgence in mid-century/Danish modern stuff that’s low to the ground?

I honestly don’t know. I leave design to the Zombie types. But the new chairs for my office are aluminum navy chairs (a design that’s about 70 years old) because all five of us can actually sit in them.

AND THAT HEIGHT IS PERFECT FOR DWARFS!

*nodding head* Yeah, those low-profile rooms seem to be so in-style, but I just find them icky, and, yes, they’re probably not even practical. And I don’t have any tolerance for design that puts pretension over comfort and a sense of welcoming.

I’m a Craftsman fanatic, and there’s a mag I absolutely love called, I think, Craftsman Home, obviously enough. Sadly, I can’t always find it. Some socialist I am. I’m always drooling over expensive houses.

I seem to have kinda derailed this thread with my innocent colour schemers comment. Not that Sadly threads ever stay “railed.”

That’s enough, I’m going home to see how many I can manage yet tonight.

Add dribbles of chocolate ice cream, and that’s pretty much a normal night in the T&U household.

And white slipcovers! Enough with the fucking white slipcovers already! What, the people who come up with this stuff don’t have dogs, cats, drink/spill Cosmos, eat/spill pizza, put their filthy feet on the sofa, spill the ashtray when they’re passing the joint?

Exactly. I think the white look is super-pretty and chic, but…how practical is it?

I get my sub for 10 bucks a year–a pittance. I think that’s why I keep re-upping.

Not worth it. I can get a nice liter and half of table wine for less than that.

I’m color blind (or colour blind if you’re a furriner).
Colour deficiency is God’s way of telling you that you were intended to spend your life taking part in demeaning and pointless vision experiments.

or to be lopped off at the knees.

Cheap ploy for fresh meat. Why don’t you sit at my side while I eat, silently begging and watching my fork by swiveling your head?

I seem to have kinda derailed this thread with my innocent colour schemers comment. Not that Sadly threads ever stay “railed.”

Are you kidding? It’s a totally awesome derail. You seem like a cool person! Perhaps I can persuade you to give chocolate and blue another chance!

because all five of us can actually sit in them.
At once? I’m surprised you get any work done.

Arg. I just got a subscription to that mag when it folded. You know what they sent instead? Fucking “Lucky.”

Did you send in the little freebie card from the decor book they put out last fall?

And: “Lucky”? You’re lucky! I’ve been getting “Glamour”! Gag.

I need height, not width. Or at least not excessive width.

Veiled penis reference.

At once? I’m surprised you get any work done.

Work? You have noticed my posting frequency during EST daylight hours?

Not worth it. I can get a nice liter and half of table wine for less than that.

Well, when you bring alcohol into the convo, you know I’m not going to argue with you. BOOZE. ALWAYS. TRIUMPHS.

And: “Lucky”? You’re lucky! I’ve been getting “Glamour”! Gag.

As a patriot, you should demand they change the name to “Glamor.”

Exactly. I think the white look is super-pretty and chic, but…how practical is it?

We have a white comforter, but it’s home-sewn from white canvas, so it’s not a big deal to bleach it and it wouldn’t be horrible if we had to find another use for it. I actually do appreciate its ability to show dirt, as my cat occasionally drags her ass across it and I’d rather apply some stain stick than have camouflaged cat poo on my bed.

BOOZE. ALWAYS. TRIUMPHS.

Never get out of the booze!

A pink elephant, man! A fucking pink elephant!

I stopped subscribing to fashion mags when I was complaining to an acquaintance about how they promoted such sick beauty ideals, to which he replied “Then why do you subscribe to them?” And I haven’t looked at one since.

Some socialist I am. I’m always drooling over expensive houses.

Candy: Me too. It’s house-porn.

I think it was Brett Butler who once said: “I’m a socialist with an AmEx card. I’m all for the revolution and everything; it’s just that I’m afraid afterward I won’t be able to find a decent moisturizer.”

Did you send in the little freebie card from the decor book they put out last fall?

No, I got some sort of deal off of Amazon for a really cheap subscription along with my Dwell subscription. I’ve always thought it was a cute little mag, though.

We have a white comforter, but it’s home-sewn from white canvas, so it’s not a big deal to bleach it and it wouldn’t be horrible if we had to find another use for it. I actually do appreciate its ability to show dirt, as my cat occasionally drags her ass across it and I’d rather apply some stain stick than have camouflaged cat poo on my bed.

That made me giggle. And I so relate. With 5 pets (3 cats, 2 dogs) I just don’t see a bunch of white stuff making it our home.

Veiled penis reference.

In that case, shouldn’t it be “girth” rather than “width”?

yeah, vacuumslayer, with the right amount of wine I might begin to see aqua and brown in a warmer light. I’ve been known to suddenly start liking something I used to hate, and vice versa.

I have a shameful love of Pottery Barn. There! I’ve confessed. I feel better now.

Candy: Me too. It’s house-porn.

Totally!

I have a shameful love of Pottery Barn. There! I’ve confessed. I feel better now.

Well, I think their stuff is just unarguably tasteful. It may not be exciting, but if you order something from Pottery Barn, it’s prolly gonna be good-looking and not go out of style in 6 months…which I can appreciate.

Exactly. I think the white look is super-pretty and chic, but…how practical is it?

It’s not. Back in the day I sewed up white cotton-duck slipcovers for all my old mismatched living-room furniture. They looked great, just like in the design mags!, but I spent half my time stripping them off and running them through the washer and dryer. These days we have sensible mud-colored rugs and sofas.

I actually do appreciate its ability to show dirt, as my cat occasionally drags her ass across it and I’d rather apply some stain stick than have camouflaged cat poo on my bed.

Good point. I have white sheets, and you can see the little speckles of cat litter tracked on them and brush them off before lying down on them. Nobody needs that at sleepy-time. Yuck!

These days we have sensible mud-colored rugs and sofas.

Ha! I hear that. Hubby and I settled on coffee-colored leather. The cat scratches are just making it look “distressed.” 😉

I just don’t see a bunch of white stuff making it..”

Two dogs (one old, senile and prone to spontaneity-cough). Two cats. A 11-year-old Rotten Little Perisher. Stuff comes in the house white (or whitish) but never will leave that way. Does anyone know of a market for free floating animal fuzz? Got me a bunch, I do.

…but anyway…what that bespectacled chic said was WACK…

I too heart Pottery Barn. Half the stuff in my house I ordered from them online. I’ve loved every single thing I’ve ever bought from them.

Okay, time for pizza and Cosmos. And chocolate ice cream!

House porn! That’s awesome.

I watch This Old House faithfully. It’s my only must see TV. That Kevin O’Connor is a hottie doesn’t hurt. Or do I only think he’s hot because he’s bringin’ the porn? Something to ponder.

I get to go eat now. Yay!

Does anyone know of a market for free floating animal fuzz?

Bio-green fabrics. You just have to learn to spin.

Then there’s chocolate Lindt, which is what the Easter Bunny finds in his navel.

i has an irrational fear of pi. Not to worry, it’s imaginary.

Oh, it’s real enough, but irrational.

Okay, just one more souvenir from this visit to CrazyLand. Among other words interspersed here and there, this individual uses

[list snipped]

Too bad Zombie Orwell can’t come around and twist her head off.

Bio-green fabrics. You just have to learn to spin.

My wife is going to spin some of our dog’s hair. We have plenty to spare. Just thinking about wearing a sweater made out of dog hair makes me itch – I don’t care if the hair gets washed first.

I read her name as Frizzy Labia. I am either very tired or incredibly perspicacious.

…but anyway…what that bespectacled chic said was WACK…
I hate the attempts of the other 80% of Americans to foist their alien ideals upon our Majority American Culture.
Is that a fair summary?

i has an irrational fear of pi.
Phi upon that. Try Transcendental Meditation.

House porn! That’s awesome.

And those in-flight catalogs?

Gadget Porn.

Colour deficiency is God’s way of telling you that you were intended to spend your life taking part in demeaning and pointless vision experiments.

Mostly along the order of : “What colour is my shirt?”

These days we have sensible mud-colored rugs and sofas.

I’m having a hard time trying to find sensible mud.

Does anyone know of a market for free floating animal fuzz?

My beloved cocker spaniel died over a year ago, yet there’s still enough dog hair floating around my apartment to make another cocker spaniel.

Every time. Every fucking time I read a shorter I think to myself “OK, this one is totally fucking made up.” and then I go and check and MOTHERFUCKING WHORE IS THERE REALLY SOMEONE THIS STUPID OUT THERE?!?!?!?

Every time.

Every fucking time, man…..

Never get out of the shorter….

demeaning and pointless vision experiments.
Mostly along the order of : “What colour is my shirt?”

One common recreation in NZ is to go tramping (or hiking, or whatever you lot call it) in the high country. But the markers used by the Department of Conservation* to blaze the trails are a particular shade of orange that for protanopes, is indistinguishable from the bark of the trees where they’re nailed.
It’s evolution at work.
——————-
*The DOC maintains the network of trails and high-country huts.

“Got my pee-pee whacked good. Well, I don’t have a pee-pee, but…maybe it was like I got my vagina slapped. Which is much less erotic than it sounds.”

You just haven’t been with the right guys. I know how to slap a vagina.

I keep on wanting to click. I’ve never clicked through before, because I ATTS. Maybe this isn’t the one to pop my clicking cherry with, judging by everyone’s reactions.

the trails are a particular shade of orange that for protanopes, is indistinguishable from the bark of the trees where they’re nailed.,

I been there man. Oddly enough it’s easier at night with an LED torch. My brother has the one rose contact lens correction attempt and sez that helps.

Historian Frank Luther Mott has defined yellow journalism as consisting chiefly of these characteristics:
* scare headlines in huge print, often of minor news
* lavish use of pictures, or imaginary drawings
* use of faked interviews, misleading headlines, pseudo-science, and a
parade of false learning from so-called experts
* dramatic sympathy with the “underdog” against the system.

LEAVE RUPERT MURDOCK ALOOOONNE!!!!!

I clicked link and found this (OMFG)
http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/duke/090924
YouTube caught red-handed cooking stats for Obama
By Selwyn Duke

“YouTube — owned by leftist leviathan Google — wants to suppress negative information about Barack Obama and the left in general.”

But that not even the silliest part: The Googlecommieobama conspiracy involves Brittany Spears and circus animals!?!

“And for another specific example, he mentioned a Britney Spears video titled “Circus.” When it was issued late last year, it was immensely popular and was prominently featured by YouTube (currently has 56,371,680 views). Yet it quickly was “disappeared.” What was its trespass?
It featured circus animals.”

WTF?

Candy said,

September 24, 2009 at 23:20

I’m a Craftsman fanatic, and there’s a mag I absolutely love called, I think, Craftsman Home, obviously enough. Sadly, I can’t always find it. Some socialist I am. I’m always drooling over expensive houses.

Candy—you do realize that William Morris was a Socialist, right?

Candy—you do realize that William Morris was a Socialist, right?

And then he founded the most powerful talent agency in show-biz history. Fucking Hollywood commies.

Okay, seriously, that site’s a giant parody troll, right? I mean, seriously, “How far will Obama go, this fall, in the insurrection against America?”. You’re asking me to believe somebody wrote that title with no ironic intent?

Of the linked article itself, I can add nothing to what has already been said, except that there’s great ammunition there the next time some wingnut gets all “Who me?” about the (true) claim that the right is full of hate.

I especially despise this horrid hatebag person for sporting an aging hippie-chick hairdo. Have it straightened and wrapped up in a Palinesque beehive already, poseur!

Her beliefs make me cringe. Her writing makes me cry.

RE: the house decorating pron – I love looking at cool spaces, but there are a lot of them I wouldn’t want to have to live in. My aesthetic is cluttered – I have little knick-knacks and little pictures and stuff all over the place. And the beige would drive me nuts – I’ve got different colors in every room and love them all. The living room is color washed terra cotta with a green couch and purple chair, both piped in terra cotta, with some touches of gold here and there. My bedroom is kind of a pea-soup green with a lighter complemantary shade above the crown & on the ceiling, and I did a harlequin pattern with the two shades on the bed wall. The bed itself is red – I have some red in every room except the living room. Kitchen & dining are what I would call craftsman or William Morris green, office is kind of a dried-hay green, hallways & master bath are yellow ochre, guest room is really great pale greyish blue-green, and hall bath is kind of a muddy teal. The trim is all painted in a putty color – white seemed too harsh with the colors. I don’t know how people can live in places that are colorless.

I especially despise this horrid hatebag person for sporting an aging hippie-chick hairdo.

Oh, come on. I’ve never met an aging hippie-chick who used Brylcreem.

Old cliche: Brazil is the country of the future–and always will be.

New cliche: Liza Fabrizio is a free-lance columnist from Stamford, Connecticut–and always will be.

actor212 said,

September 24, 2009 at 22:49

“I got my vagina slapped”

Website? Subscription? Newsletter?

Psst. Actor. Dibs on it after you’re done with it.

I don’t know how people can live in places that are colorless.

Do not underrate the hilarity to be had from painting the entire interior of a house in monochrome dazzle-ship patterns to break up the outlines of the furniture. And the staircase.
Especially the staircase.

Beige is not a color!

It’s a sign you can’t make up your mind!

I don’t see how you’d get enough leverage to slap a vagina.

Candy—you do realize that William Morris was a Socialist, right?

Yep, I did indeed know that. I was more referring to my lust for pricey, beautiful places as being at odds with my political beliefs. Honestly, I believe this and other of Morris’s traits is what makes his designs so appealing. Such a love of the goodness of the earth. William Morris was awesomness. I guess you could say he was the social-est!

I guess you could say he was the social-est!

Ah, Thank you! Now I know the etymology of that word! I thought “Stop the Socialests” was just illiterate.

I’ve downloaded all of Morris’s works from Project Gutenberg and I’m really getting into them.

Jennifer, you would love to see the kitchen of a dear friend of mine. Orange, red, purple, kind of a mustard yellow, and it all works. But I could never pull it off, or live in it…..

She once asked me to go with her to Sherwin Williams to pick out the “right white” for the trim on her house. They had painted some of it a sort of purple, some of it was still pink, and she thought the neighbors would like it better if the pink parts were white. And she needed help with picking out just the right white.

Anyway, after some discussion it turned out that she and her family were quite happy with the pink trim, just worried about what the neighbors were thinking.

We finally decided that if she and her family liked it, they could forget about the neighbors.

She said, of Jimmy Carter:

After all, he did unite the country in a way not seen in decades; after only four years, almost all of America joined together in sending him on his failed quest to become our greatest ex-president.

Curious fact: Carter lost in an electoral landslide to Ronald Reagan. Popular vote differential: about 9 million. 35 million Americans voted for Carter; 43 plus million voted for Reagan.

Fast forward to 2008: 59 million people voted for John McCain; 69 million voted for Barack Obama. By that metric, slightly less than almost all of American joined together to signal a great anti-republican sea change.

ice9

Jennifer: I love color too. Beige is safe but boring. In the funky 70-year-old house I used to have I painted the kitchen tomato red with white woodwork, tore out the old cabinets and put in open shelving and white bottom cabinets. I painted black and white checkerboard faux backsplash behind the counters and sink because I couldn’t afford actual tile. EVERYTHING worked with that red: I used eggplant purple, apple green, and neon blue for extraneous stuff. Man I loved that kitchen. Our bedroom was periwinkle blue with white everything else. The living room was mustard yellow with the white slipcovers and red accessories. I painted the tiny sunroom black (it had terra-cotta and peachy Italian tile floor) and the space was so flooded with sun all day long that it worked something awesome.

Now we’re in a 40-year-old rancher that the previous owner tastefully redid in beiges and muted peach tones. I’m redoing a room at a time, so far in chocolate brown (front hall), my favorite mustardy yellow (living room), cornflower blue (dining room), and “marmalade sky” (the Beatles shrine room). I love color too and don’t care if whoever we may end up selling this house to likes them or not.

I linked over and read this: “the so-called depletion of the rain forests…” and honestly I could not do further but to scan the rest.

What an ignorant, vile idiotic woman.

Speaking of nightmares in beige: When young and married, the first apartment of said married life was a typical four room victorian walk-up in a the cheap part of town.

The landlord had painted everything, I mean everything the exposed plumbing, the aged cabinets and countertops, all the trim and walls, some of the floors even, a semi-gloss beige.

What’s worse is once we went to his house to give him the rent and his wife invited us in to show off her great decorating taste.

Everything in the house was fucking beige, carpeting, walls, trim, furniture, accessories, even the closed drapery.

It was like walking into a nightmare. I’ll never forget the feeling it induced, it was not one of relaxation or pleasantry, more like falling into a beige hole in space.

I put on the last pair of BleedNaut Goggles I have and went back through Ms. Fabrizio’s site (I know, a fucking tiger, man) and have to admit that I was too generous. While her prose is of Special Olympics quality, she really has the Big Hate on. I bet her neighbors love her.

I don’t see how you’d get enough leverage to slap a vagina.

On the upstroke, of course.

. Beige is safe but boring.

We like “beige” in our house as well. It sounds so much more sophisticated than “dirt.”

“Speaking as a full-sized person, I am so fucking sick of chairs that I can’t sit in comfortably.”

I was just in a trendy and expensive furniture store here in Manhattan, idly looking at sofas (before deciding to have the old ones recovered) and I dared the sales rep to sit on the sofa and stand up. The seat was 10 inches high, the back was another 8 inches high. He wouldn’t do it.

The other thing I see too often is bed that are about 10 inches high, but are on a little platform that sticks out a foot or so on every side. (The owners of those things must never get tired of stubbing their toes when they return from a middle-of-the-night pee.) At least the stupid low sofas let you get up close before you try to sit down. But beds make you take your shot from a considerable distance away.

But beds make you take your shot from a considerable distance away.

This is precisely why I learned to moonwalk.

The bed’s not a problem; it’s the restraining order.